Rất Thần Thái, Rất Paris

by Jennifer L. Scott, Jen (Translator)

Sau thành công của 20 Bí mật sành điệu từ Madame Chic và At home with Madame Chic – Thanh lịch từ những khoảnh khoắc đời thường, Jennifer quay lại với bạn đọc bằng Madame Chic – Rất thần thái, Rất Paris.

Trong cuốn sách mới nhất của series về Madame Chic này, Jennifer tiết lộ sức mạnh của thần thái, cách chăm sóc dung mạo và chuẩn mực hành xử có thần thái với bản thân và mọi người xung quanh trong cuộc sống: làm sao để trang điểm tự nhiên mà vẫn lịch sự; làm thế nào để có dáng điệu thanh thoát và bước đi uyển chuyển, nhẹ nhàng; làm thế nào để mỗi cuộc trò chuyện đều có được không khí thoải mái và vui tươi; và làm thế nào để mỗi ngày bạn đều là bạn trong phiên-bản-thần-thái-nhất…

Bạn không cần phải dùng hàng hiệu và cư xử sang chảnh để trở nên có thần thái. Thần thái nằm trong sự lựa chọn mỗi ngày của mỗi chúng ta. Từng khoảnh khắc của mỗi ngày sẽ là một thử thách. Bạn sẽ phải chất vấn bản thân trước mỗi ngả đường và phải luôn nỗ lực vươn tới lựa chọn tốt nhất. Bạn sẽ trải qua rất nhiều lần thất bại và có thể sẽ chẳng bao giờ hoàn hảo. Nhưng bạn đã theo đuổi những điều tốt đẹp, và đến cuối cùng, bạn sẽ sống một cuộc đời viên mãn đủ đầy.

“Không quan trọng cuộc đời trước kia của bạn thế nào. Không quan trọng bạn đã lớn lên ra sao. Không quan trọng bạn hành xử kiểu gì vào ngày hôm qua, hay thậm chí là chỉ một giờ trước. Không quan trọng gia đình bạn là những người như thế nào. Không quan trọng nếu bạn bè bạn không quan tâm đến việc này. Không quan trọng dù gia đình bạn không hiểu bạn.

Quan trọng là tất cả chúng ta đều có khả năng thay đổi và biến-đổi.” - Jennifer L. Scott -

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Fashion, Personal Development, France, Audiobook, Memoir

256 pages, Paperback

First published October 27, 2015

About the author

Jennifer L. Scott is the New York Times bestselling author of Lessons from Madame Chic, At Home with Madame Chic and Polish Your Poise with Madame Chic (Simon & Schuster), Mademoiselle Chic (Daiwa Shobo), and Connoisseur Kids (Chronicle Books). She is also the creator of the blog and YouTube channel, The Daily Connoisseur, where she explores the fine art of living. Jennifer has been featured on CNN, BBC, and CBS News, and in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, USA Today, Newsweek, and The Daily Mail. She and her husband, Ben, have four children and they divide their time between Southern California and the English countryside. Learn more at www.jenniferlscott.com

Reviews

[Lulufrances · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been fascinated with etiquette books ever since I found a very heavy, very red tome from the 1950ies or earlier (?) in my parents' bookshelves.
I don't know how it got into our possession, but I spent many hours pouring over some by now outdated rules, some of them very much not outdated though, however unfortunately neglected nowadays.

This cute little book on poise, or elegance if you will, reminded me a lot of that red book.
And I highly enjoyed it.
I read the Madame Chic one last summer and though some parts of it got repeated in this book, it was nevertheless refreshing and very inspiring to read.
Most of the topics and thoughts weren't new to me (thanks parents!) but I loved the enthusiasm Jennifer L. Scott goes about with writing about them and it surely made me sit up straighter a couple of times during my readings. (A poised posture is key, right?)

Call me cheesy, but cute,encouraging, enthusiastic books like this make the world a little better in my opinion :)
(Especially if you act upon the advice you receive in them)

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Polish Your Poise with Madame Chic” is the third in a series of gracious living lifestyle books by Jennifer Scott under the “Madame Chic” banner (a nod to her elegant host family from her year as a study abroad student in France). In a world full of twerking, selfies at funerals, and anything Kardashian, Scott’s message of common sense manners and tasteful (while still alluring) apparel are a welcome antidote. Unfortunately readers of her previous books will have a sense of déjà vu with this latest installment as the message just seems like more of the same.

Read on its own, the book delivers a fine message – present yourself with grace, dignity, kindness, and compassion. Remember that the way you carry yourself and behave does have an impact on others. While I think Scott tries not to be preachy, some may be turned off by her formality.

I commend Scott for including an anecdote about a speaking engagement at a TEDx conference which did not turn out at all as she had expected. Rather than get flustered or act like a diva because the conference did not fit her expectations, Scott showed real poise, realized her expectations had been unrealistic and ended up not only having a learning experience, but an enjoyable one as well. (I contrast this with a blog post I read earlier this week from someone I follow who took to the web to go on a rant when a recent speaking engagement didn’t meet her expectations. Quite a difference.)

If you’re interested in the subject matter, Scott’s books provide a fine primer. There’s no need to read all three though. Pick up the one that looks most interesting to you and you’ll be set.

2.5 stars rounded up to 3.

Thank to you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for a galley of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Negin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the third book in the Jennifer Scott boxed set, and as with the other two, I enjoyed it immensely. This one focused on living with dignity, poise, and grace, something that’s sadly often lacking today. This book even inspired me to buy a lovely apron on our recent visit to France.

[Jennifer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Compared to the wide variety books available on this subject, this author comes across as pretentious, pushy and a bit entitled. Definitely not the uplifting feeling I have received from other similar books.

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

First sentence: Madame Chic, my host mother as a study abroad student in Paris, looked presentable and elegant on a daily basis.

Favorite quote: ...the poised person is self-aware. She is driven by faith, inner peace and high standards. These are the tools she uses to get through any situation in life.

I so enjoy these types of books. They give me faith that we are not loosing poise, manners, etiquette and grace. This particular book is full of thoughts and ideas all of which make ones life so much more smooth and easier to navigate.

[JEM · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jennifer L Scott is heralding a much needed message in the age of "anything goes", that is not talked about often - the importance of poise. Before I read the book I wondered how the author could write an entire book on the subject of poise - but she does, and does it well. She addresses issues such as graciousness, dignity, manners, perspective, thankfulness and "joie de vivre" among other things and does it (fittingly) in a very gracious and mannerly way. It would be so easy for a book like this to come across as preachy and elitist but Jennifer achieves quite the opposite. I hope she continues writing on the subject.

Thanks to netgalley for the ARC

[Relyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoy Jennifer L. Scott's view on life. I find her thoughts on poise and gracious living to be thoughtful and timely. In a culture that grows more and more casual, Jennifer is a strong voice for intentionally living well. More than once while reading her book, I found myself cringing over my own lack of poise, and not all the events are as far in the past as I might hope. This book is a helpful guide on living with style, intention, and poise. I loved it!

[Ivy · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's really hard to review such a book. I believe that others might love it but for the most part, I had the feeling, the author wanted to make me feel bad. Maybe poise just isn't for me. Maybe the author should stop being so judgy.
Seriously, she once heard someone drop the f-bomb and both were embarassed.

"...whether at home or in the outside world, she presented herself beautifully, with flattering clothes; natural, age-appropriate makeup...".
She doesn't believe in loungewear and talks about lack of self-respect, when wearing oversized t-shirts. I read this on a cozy sunday at home, in my loungewear and felt presentable that way. Maybe I didn't represent the poise she talks about but I represent myself, the way I am. And I have enough self-respect, to wear whatever I feel good in.
Of course I feel differently when I get dressed for going out. But why would I want to feel like I was going out when I'm at home? Plus I think that one should wear whatever kind of makeup one considers appropriate.
On the other hand, there were some great tips.
The poise she talks of, is a good thing and everyone can benefit when translated to any kind of lifestyle one chooses and strives for. We should be aware of the way we look, behave and carry ourselves, as it has impact on others.
Some of her anecdotes say a lot about how the author shows poise, For example, when she went to talk at a conference and realized her expectations had been unrealistic, instead of ranting about how it didn't meet them.

If she just didn't sound so entitled and preachy. She has a strong distaste for things I find perfectly acceptable and do myself. I'm more impressed by people who feel real, dealing with real issues instead of someone who insists of being pulled together all the time. She writes that seeking the Arts is for poised people, while the not so poised enjoy Reality TV. Well, I like both, there's a time for everything. Also cursing apparently isn't for the poised. I am from the Balkans, lots of cursing is what we do and I don't need a handbook on french culture to make me feel bad about it.
She says things like "it emerges when you decide to care about the way you look". Well, I decided to wear an oversized shirt and sweatpants and you judge me, Lady. Is that considered poise?

Then she climbes down a little, talks about getting rid of filthy looking stuff, where I totally agree.
Parts felt completeley irrelevant to me, so i skipped them. I don't need lessons in bathrobes or how to not shake someone's hand. But I loved the part on how family's abandon their holidays together to fight crowds in sales. How it's the ultimate poise to help others. I couldn't agree more, people need to get their priorities straight. Too bad that's only a very small part after being superficial for so long.

[Christine (Tina) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well-written & more polished than the earlier two books by Scott, this read reminded me of so much I already know. Whereas Scott has branded Madame Chic, the woman she feels has shaped her lifestyle, I believe this work shows Scott to have grown into a woman independent of the French lifestyle education she gained as an exchange student years ago. Poise should be an element of behavior among all of us & not the underrated, unrecognizable characteristic it has become in our society. A "good read" to begin the year, this piece has given me a focus for refining & reshaping the way I live in 2016 & beyond.

[Cat · Rating 3 out of 5]

A couple of good tips but this author has extremely inside-the-box thinking when it comes to “acceptable womanly behavior”, a very small box at that. She can keep her classical music and sensible shoes. Life’s too short to pluck, demure, and abstain yourself to death. Have respect for yourself, be considerate of others, and let that freak flag fly.

[Climbing · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoy the book. There is wisdom and elegance behind being poised. It’s fascinating.

The advices I found most useful are :” always wear your best clothes”

“No is an acceptable answer. People might try to guilt you. Be firm.”

“Always have good manners.”

“Manage your expectations.”

[Mrs. Seed · Rating 2 out of 5]

A little disappointed...Very much like her other books that I loved but not much new material.

[toolie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Infantylna i przeraźliwie płytka, pretensjonalna książka bez cienia humoru względem tematu.

[Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love all Jennifer's books. :)

[Ngo Hoa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ôi giời ơi. May quá đã hết quyển sách.
Cảm tưởng như là tiếp xúc với 1 Mary Sue chính hiệu từ trang đầu tiên tới trang cuối cùng.
Mèng ơi. Phải thế này. Phải thế khác. Như này mới là thần thái. Như này mới là chanh sả.
Tôi mệt mỏi quá đỗi với vô vàn phép tắc như thế.
Vâng. Ở mức nào đó ta cần những chuẩn mực xã hội. Nhưng có cần phải lấy Paris để làm tiêu chuẩn như thế không? Làm ơn, hãy tôn trọng sự khác biệt văn hóa và để đầu óc open cho mọi thứ. Tôi đang nói một cách thần thái đó!
Như hồi nào đó, nghe 1 ông sếp Tây chê tui VN lười vì chúng ngủ trưa. Cuối cùng sau 1 thời gian sống ở cái xứ nhiệt đới nóng ẩm thì bác ý cũng lăn ra ngủ trưa. Vâng ạ! Đó là do sự khác biệt về khí hậu đó ạ.
Bạn muốn học thần thái một cách nhanh nhất không? Tôi nói nhá! Hãy đu theo 1 Idol Trung Quốc hoặc Hàn Quốc. Tôi chưa từng thấy showbit ở đâu mà khắc nghiệt như 2 thị trường này. Và các Idol không còn cách nào ngoài việc phải " giả trân" một cách hoàn hảo. Đấy đấy! Cứ theo sát mọi sự kiện, mọi lần xuất hiện của Idol, tự dưng bạn sẽ thẩm thấu thần thái một cách tự nhiên nhất luôn. Từ việc đi thảm đỏ sao cho trang nhã nhất cho dù trời đang âm độ C. Cho tới khi xuất hiện ở sân bay đầy mệt mỏi giữa đêm cũng phải ráng cười tươi với những kẻ bám đuôi vô cùng không lịch sự - nếu không muốn hôm sau lên hot search với vô vàn đá đủ xây vài cái biệt thự.
Hãy thần thái - khi mà bản thân bạn đủ thấy tự tin từ nội tâm chứ không phải do ai bảo.
Lúc đó mới thật sự là " thần thái".

[Ta Tuyet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thú thực thì tôi chưa bao giờ nghĩ mình sẽ đọc cuốn này. Tên sách và nội dung kiểu này không hợp gout tôi lắm, dù tôi cũng thường đọc về chủ đề này trên Internet. Nhưng nhờ có một chị gợi ý mà tôi đã không bỏ lỡ một cuốn sách tích cực như vậy. Đọc xong bỗng thêm vững tin vào lối sống của mình. Không dám tự nhận là thần thái hay thanh lịch, nhưng có thể tự nhận là một người biết ý tứ.

[Charmaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book! I really admire and look up to Jennifer L. Scott. I'm so grateful that a friend recommended her books and YouTube channel (The Daily Connoisseur). She gives useful tips on how to carry yourself with poise and grace to feel more confident and graceful. She goes over various sections, including posture, communication with others, self-discipline, good grooming and dressing, and so much more. This author is life-changing and giving me so much inspiration. 10/10 recommend!

[Srav · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was four out of twenty in 2020.

I read the first book in the Madame Chic trilogy a while ago and found the tips to be so rigid for me. I really enjoy the Parisian chic aesthetic, although I find that my personal aesthetic lies in my own Indian heritage. This book, however, is less all-over-the-place than the previous book and is more pointed on how to clean up your life. And it definitely did motivate me to clean my life up, starting with my closet. After reading this book, my room which was always notably cluttered and messy littered silly with books, papers, and clothes, went into an extremely functional and neat appearance.

Polish your Poise is a very quick but fun read about becoming more elegant. Most of the tips are simply too much for us to practice such as calling our neighbors to a tea party and having ten-item wardrobes (which if you do, kudos to you). But, there are important reminders that I've integrated into my life which has made me so much more confident. The biggest pointers I've taken from this is maintaining good posture, cleaning up my bad language, having a clean room, and maintaining a signature scent. It's the small things that we know we have to fix that we never do until books like this motivate us to do so!

I really liked that this book tells us poise and elegance are attainable no matter what class or financial situation we are in. Of course, we should already know that because many of the celebrities we see now are beautiful no doubt, but are they elegant? I've made the conscious decision after this book to remove all the influencers that I find unelegant and began to watch interviews of people with immaculate grace and language. Hopefully a few years from now, I can be my own Madame Chic, because I think cultivating poise is an ongoing process and never stops.

Overall, it's a good book for those of us trying to actively change our bad practices into good ones.

[Boo · Rating 2 out of 5]

I felt it had somewhat of a narrow perspective - at times it felt more like a handbook for French culture. It had some good points, but overall I felt if focused too much on what someone wears...even after saying that’s not the only important thing. While I agree that presentation is a lot, I’ve met door poor people with not much more than rags who have extraordinary poise. I felt the examples given of poise in this book weren’t far reaching or diverse, and that’s really the only thing that I don’t like about it. It gives rules, but those aren’t the only rules, they just follow the rules of certain cultures. In some cultures eye contact is a sign of respect, but in other cultures direct eye contact is actually a sign of disrespect. Just take the advice and adjust it to yourself and situation as best you can - for example if your style of clothes wasn’t listed, just take the advice to mean present your best self, or if she gives tips for hair maintenance that would only work with straight or very loose wavy textures and not curly ones, just take the advice to mean take care of your hair and have it “presentable”...and that’s also relative to culture and subcultures - some cultures and peoples hold locs (many people call them “dreadlocks”, but some cultures deem this to be a disrespectful term) to be sacred while other peoples ban or outlaw them...one example of when I had to adjust was when she gave rules for what to wear to a funeral. In my subculture we do not necessarily associate the color black with death or negativity, and a funeral is seen as a celebration of a life, so it’s not unusual for people to wear bright colors at our funerals or to wear the favorite color of the deceased, if it’s known

[Isles1 · Rating 5 out of 5]

On the opening page of her new book, Jennifer L. Scott writes of the “calm contentedness” of her now famous Parisian host mother, Madame Chic. I would offer that it’s Jennifer herself, who beckons us into her world with a promise of calm and contentment.

I am already of fan of Jennifer’s writing (New York Times bestselling: At Home with Madame Chic and Lessons From Madame Chic, as well as her blog, The Daily Connoisseur). Jennifer’s insights into home, fashion, family and life, make me want to take better care of myself, my home, my family, and how I present myself in the world. Polish Your Poise offers the very best of the now tired “aspirational” aspect of many bloggers/writers today. She isn’t presenting a false still life for the rest of us to aspire to, instead she is inspiring us. Her insights and suggestions are real, plausible, and make so much sense.

This book addresses everything from attitude, wardrobe (Jennifer advocates for a 10 Item seasonal wardrobe and does a masterful job of making it sound appealing), grooming, being a host and a guest, public and private poise (spoiler alert: they are the same), friendship and more.

Again, as a reader, this book has a sincerity that shines through. I understand that this is how Jennifer lives. But she is able to keep from being perfect and preachy to the rest of us. I want to incorporate more poise into my own life. I think many readers will feel the same way after reading this book.

[Jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank to you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for a galley of this book in exchange for an honest review. This is a nod to her prior books in which she pays her appreciation of the teaching and observations of her time spent in France with Madame Chic. The lessons in this book educate the reader on how to regain or develop your elegance and poise in a society that has lost this along the way. If you have read her prior books, you may be disappointed to discover some of these lessons have already been discussed. However, repetition deepens impression in my opinion. So if you are seeking to develop a style of grace, compassion, and elegance; this book will be useful for your education. Tips on managing a closet, living within ones means, and maintaining one's calm are all invaluable but others such as wearing expensive clothing most of the day elicit a raised eyebrow from me. Overall, it was a pleasant read. I appreciated her intent to instill confidence in her readers and she seems to have a sincere desire to bring back an era in which courtesy and decorum are part of our culture.

[Bloodorange · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm adding one star because this book might actually be useful to someone raised by wolves (and more and more people actually seem to be).

What really bothers me, is that when I was reading about the book online, checking whether it will be a massive waste of time or not, I found many inspiring, wise quotations I cannot for the love of me recall finding in the book. It must have been the crap overload.

Edit: I have since then realized that the inspiring quotations were NOT from this book. Le sigh.

[Brenda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read Jennifer's two previous books at the urging of my daughter. I've enjoyed them all. This one made me realize once again that common sense and common decency are not common anymore. Jennifer urges us to live our best lives within the self respect, and common decency perameters. She's wise beyond her years and has great advice. Poise isn't something most younger people even talk or think about, let alone try to implement in their own lives. Bravo.

[cloudyskye · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful. I liked this just as much as "Lessons from Madame Chic". True, some - or many - insights from that book are repeated here, but we learn so many things by repetition, don't we?
I appreciate the values Jennifer represents, her enthusiasm, her honesty and the inspiration and encouragement she gives.
Her blog has a new follower, as of today. :)

[Kathryn Beal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Etiquette, at its core, is about living well. This book contains practical tips on interpersonal skills, managing your home, and carrying yourself with grace, but the author arrives at these conclusions from first principles: being honest, having integrity, and living in reality. Very inspiring. Highly recommend!

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

So to be honest I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about this book but it was actually a good book and more about feeling confident and calm in yourself than fashion etc. I think I want to read her other books as well.

[Elisabeth Ensor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a good review of her first 2 books! Lots of simple ideas about cultivating Poise and bring your best! Loved it

[Jessica Gutierrez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish everyone cared as much about poise and manners! I enjoyed this book and found it refreshing.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every woman should read this. It is truly wonderful advice.

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very enjoyable!