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How the World Makes Love: . . . And What It Taught a Jilted Groom
The bestselling author of Honeymoon with My Brother hits the road again to learn about love and finally finds it closer to home
When you've been jilted at the altar and forced to take your pre-paid honeymoon with your brother, it's fair to say you could learn a thing or two about love. And that's what Franz Wisner sets out to do, traveling the globe with a mission: to discover the planet's most important love lessons and see if they can rescue him from the ruins of his own love life. Even after months on the road, he's still not sure he's found the secret. But a disastrous date with a Los Angeles actress and single mom keeps popping into Franz's head. While researching ideal love, could he have missed a bigger truth: that something unplanned and implausible could actually make him happy? Uproarious, tender, and studded with eye-opening insights on love, How the World Makes Love is the story of one average man's search for happiness, a search that turns into an improbable love story in the author's own backyard.
308 pages, Hardcover
First published March 17, 2009
19 people are currently reading
299 people want to read
About the author
Franz Wisner
6 books16 followersFranz Wisner has no idea what to label his profession. Writer? Travel addict? Professional dumpee? He is the NY Times bestselling author of Honeymoon with My Brother and the newly released How the World Makes Love.
He can be reached at either www.howtheworldmakeslove.com or www.honeymoonwithmybrother.com
He can be reached at either www.howtheworldmakeslove.com or www.honeymoonwithmybrother.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 79 reviews
September 4, 2016
DNF after a few chapters... I am cynical, but this guy either truly believes that no one in the world really loves each other, or just chose such a radical position to begin his book so it looks like he has an amazing change of opinion when he later falls in love (just guessing here). Either way, I just couldn't stand the complaining long enough to learn anything about the rest of the world in love (all I learned is that people in LA all hate each other and apparently no one there has any real connection to another person... that, and that the author should have perhaps chosen a different city to live his life if he realized that all LA residents are soulless monsters and that he can't get a date there).
October 26, 2009
Travel memoirs are my favorite kind of book, so I was excited to find this at the library. But it wasn't nearly as good as I hope. The author seems so disconnected from the people he interviews. He seems to see the countries he visits as cartoon caricatures and he makes huge generalizations about the people in those countries.
July 25, 2010
Eh, didn't enjoy this one as much as I thought I was going to. It kind of jumps around, and the idea is interesting but the execution was surprisingly boring. It only really started coming together about 3/4 of the way through, only to go in a direction that I found dissapointingly predictable. Maybe his first book was better, but I wouldn't recommend this one.
June 25, 2010
This book was much a replay of his first book and so tiresome that I did not finish it.
August 20, 2009
How the World Makes Love is a humorous humanistic book. It is a gem. The author is not writing for Playboy or Maxim or anything like that. It is NOT the Kama Sutra. He relates observations and what he is told and lists his sources in the back, but this is not a scientific book. In the end he gets his and then some on what love is; he finds it where he least expects to find it...This review contains spoilers because I want to be able to reread excerpts.
This book presents snippets of love from the highest aspirations of the cultures and peoples interviewed. It is the author’s search for love and happiness. The main thrust (no pun intended) of this memoir is watching ourselves change as the author changes while absorbing the best from each culture.
This book should be required reading in pre-marital counseling classes, definitely sex education classes, and a must read for anyone reconsidering life-and love. Below are some gems of wisdom that stood out for me.
P 111 After talking with numerous Nicaraguans, I scolded myself for allowing trivial matters like never-ending political debates to seep into my love life as much as they had in the past.
I thought back to India, which has a history of tossing politicians from office and maintaining low divorce rates. India keeps its marriages and dumps it leaders, while we dump our spouses and reelect our politicians. We’ve got the formula backwards.
Love is the opposite of politics.
P 135 …the current victor of history, commerce.
P138 Czech Republic “Good sex has more to do with attitudes than figures.” “Sex is what we live for, opined the porn star. According to Robert, people shuffled off to crummy jobs, then spent their earnings on overpriced drinks and over styled clothes just to have a shot at sex. They should reverse the order. Make sex the basis of their relationship rather than the offshoot."
P 183 Under “Ten Global Threats to Love” No. 10. UNICEF estimates there are more than 140 million orphans on the planet. Countless more grow up with single moms, cheating fathers, or couples who can’t get along. They copy the sins of their parents, and pass them on to their children, beginning the cycle anew. The most serious threat to love is not being able to see love.
P 190 In Egypt Love, as they see it, is something that grows through commitment and marriage. It’s the product of a healthy union rather than a prerequisite to one. If a woman longs for another, she sees it in those terms, longing, not as a once-in-a-lifetime bond that will never be re-created. Why would you risk a decision as important as marriage on something as trivial and fleeting as crushes or butterflies? Far more important in that foundation are the I beams of family and monetary support. Marriage is a decision of the left brain more than the heart. Only a fool would tell you otherwise.
P 196 Eqyptian women: The goal [marriage:] is so etched in the hopes of young women they avoid actions that could be counted against them in the march to wed…They play the endgame rather than the dating game. American women don’t think as much about consequences. They focus on what they want, Egyptian women think only about the consequences. They want to advance but then don’t want to risk losing their wishes.
P 239 In a greater sense, life proceeded as a to-do list. It wasn’t about opening my eyes and embracing opportunity or striving for a Buddhist-like focus on the present.
P 273 The concept of learned love/earned love is one of the world’s greatest secrets. We tend to see newlyweds at the peak of love. Indians and others see them at the bottom. Many other Indian couples told me without hesitation that they did not love their spouse when they got married. “How is that possible?” they asked.
Do you want to help your relationship succeed? See it like the Indians see a new relationship. Envision it as a vacant lot rather than a finished house. That way, you’ll pick up a shovel and go to work rather than relax in the La-Z-Boy and assume love will come automatically.
One last funny remembrance. The Indians encountered by the author all laughed when he mentioned the Kama Sutra. My young Indian friend at the FDU library did too-through back her head and roared!
This book presents snippets of love from the highest aspirations of the cultures and peoples interviewed. It is the author’s search for love and happiness. The main thrust (no pun intended) of this memoir is watching ourselves change as the author changes while absorbing the best from each culture.
This book should be required reading in pre-marital counseling classes, definitely sex education classes, and a must read for anyone reconsidering life-and love. Below are some gems of wisdom that stood out for me.
P 111 After talking with numerous Nicaraguans, I scolded myself for allowing trivial matters like never-ending political debates to seep into my love life as much as they had in the past.
I thought back to India, which has a history of tossing politicians from office and maintaining low divorce rates. India keeps its marriages and dumps it leaders, while we dump our spouses and reelect our politicians. We’ve got the formula backwards.
Love is the opposite of politics.
P 135 …the current victor of history, commerce.
P138 Czech Republic “Good sex has more to do with attitudes than figures.” “Sex is what we live for, opined the porn star. According to Robert, people shuffled off to crummy jobs, then spent their earnings on overpriced drinks and over styled clothes just to have a shot at sex. They should reverse the order. Make sex the basis of their relationship rather than the offshoot."
P 183 Under “Ten Global Threats to Love” No. 10. UNICEF estimates there are more than 140 million orphans on the planet. Countless more grow up with single moms, cheating fathers, or couples who can’t get along. They copy the sins of their parents, and pass them on to their children, beginning the cycle anew. The most serious threat to love is not being able to see love.
P 190 In Egypt Love, as they see it, is something that grows through commitment and marriage. It’s the product of a healthy union rather than a prerequisite to one. If a woman longs for another, she sees it in those terms, longing, not as a once-in-a-lifetime bond that will never be re-created. Why would you risk a decision as important as marriage on something as trivial and fleeting as crushes or butterflies? Far more important in that foundation are the I beams of family and monetary support. Marriage is a decision of the left brain more than the heart. Only a fool would tell you otherwise.
P 196 Eqyptian women: The goal [marriage:] is so etched in the hopes of young women they avoid actions that could be counted against them in the march to wed…They play the endgame rather than the dating game. American women don’t think as much about consequences. They focus on what they want, Egyptian women think only about the consequences. They want to advance but then don’t want to risk losing their wishes.
P 239 In a greater sense, life proceeded as a to-do list. It wasn’t about opening my eyes and embracing opportunity or striving for a Buddhist-like focus on the present.
P 273 The concept of learned love/earned love is one of the world’s greatest secrets. We tend to see newlyweds at the peak of love. Indians and others see them at the bottom. Many other Indian couples told me without hesitation that they did not love their spouse when they got married. “How is that possible?” they asked.
Do you want to help your relationship succeed? See it like the Indians see a new relationship. Envision it as a vacant lot rather than a finished house. That way, you’ll pick up a shovel and go to work rather than relax in the La-Z-Boy and assume love will come automatically.
One last funny remembrance. The Indians encountered by the author all laughed when he mentioned the Kama Sutra. My young Indian friend at the FDU library did too-through back her head and roared!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 27, 2009
Tadinya gw mau kasih bintang tiga .. Tapi kemudian di akhir-akhir buku banyak kesimpulan yang menggugah, sehingga akhirnya gw berani kasih bintang empat untuk buku ini. Sebagai sebuah sekuel dari buku sebelumnya yang lumayan menghentak, tentu banyak harapan yang ditaro oleh pembaca kepada buku ini. Seperti gw yang berharap bagaimana Franz bisa memulihkan kepercayaan dirinya, setelah down berat gara-gara ditelantarkan di atas altar oleh calon istrinya.
Tetapi rupanya proses pemulihan itu lebih banyak bergulir di batin Franz. Yang diuraikan kepada pembaca lewat buku yang memiliki judul provokatif [immi mode on.. ;-)..:] lebih banyak kepada bagaimana proses cinta (love, kasih, kasih sayang, whatever) bisa tumbuh di antara manusia-manusia yang tinggal di berbagai belahan dunia, dengan kultur dan latar belakang yang berbeda-beda.
Franz bertualang menjadi life observer ke Brazil, India, Nikaragua, Cheska, Mesir (yess, Mesir yg itu), Selandia Baru, dan Botswana. Dia mengamati bagaimana cinta bisa tumbuh di antara makhluk-makhluk Tuhan yang terlahir di tiap negara, kemudian bagaimana mereka menaro persepsi tentang cinta, meletakkan harapan, menjadikan kekuatan, atau menjadikan jalan bersama. Uraian yang terlalu panjang, kadang terasa membosankan.
Jadi uraian lebih banyak ke sisi antropologis (cmiiw) misalnya bagaimana ternyata orang Brasil tidak banyak menggambarkan hal yang muluk-muluk saat menggambarkan pasangan ideal mereka. Bahasa kita, yang pasti-pasti aja lah. Atau di India, negara yang penuh dengan kasta dan golongan, segala sesuatu yang disiapkan dan direncanakan…biasanya gagal.
Bagi pembaca yang sudah kenal dengan Franz lewat buku pertamanya, tentu akan kembali menemukan kelucuan-kelucuan yang dalam lewat perenungan iseng, jenaka, tapi bermakna. Bagaimana cara dunia ini membatasi perselingkuhan ? Menurut Franz, sederhana saja : dengan tidak menyebutkan “perselingkuhan” karena ini mencerminkan pelanggaran, kejahatan. Di Perancis, hanya disebut “main mata”. Di Botswana, “dia sedang pergi dengan orang lain”. Cheska ? “Bermain di kasur lain”.
Lalu Franz menarik kesimpulan yang dahsyat di akhir buku. Gw kutip sedikit buat yg berminat :
Lebih daripada kasta dan suku, yang paling dicari oleh dunia dalam sosok seorang pasangan cinta, dari pengamatanku, adalah kekuatan. Bukan bahu bidang atau kaki pelari berdaya tahan tinggi untuk hari-hari yang panjang dan melelahkan, meskipun itu tentu juga penting. Yang kumaksud adalah kekuatan jiwa. NYALI.
Di bagian lain, Franz menulis : Dunia India dan Arab mengajariku konsep cinta yang bisa ditumbuhkan. Lupakanlah fantasi tentang belahan jiwa.
Menjelang ending, ada satu bagian yang luar biasa… penggambaran adegan ketika jantung Franz harus berdetak sangat kencang untuk mengadapi suatu moment yang membangkitkan trauma, tapi ada sisi perlawanan dari dirinya sendiri karena ia telah memiliki kepercayaan untuk itu.
Gw gak mau cerita… khawatir spoiler.. tapi ini adegan yang gila.
Adegan yang menggelitik, membangkitkan tawa, dan di saat yang sama penuh haru, sedikit tragis. Kontradiktif. Ditingkahi dengan celetukan-celetukan celaan dari teman-teman dekat Franz yang awalnya tertawa riuh, meledek gila-gilaan… lalu perlahan yang ada hanya senyap.. hening. Tercekat. Di bagian ini.. gw tertawa.. tapi tanpa terasa.. mata gw basah…
-andri-
***
Rombongan Tariq Ali gw pending dulu. Sekuel dari HWMB ini lebih menarik bagi gw, karena gw suka dengan buku yg pertama itu. Ada keraguan sih, karena apakah memiliki kesamaan 'spirit' dengan buku yg pertama. Belum lagi pandangan fait accompli kemungkinan sekuel ini hanya mendomplang kesuksesan buku pertamanya.
Tapi menyimak negara-negara yang dikunjungi oleh Franz, membuat gw memutuskan untuk baca. Semoga menambah referensi impian gw untuk someday bisa trip around the world...
-andri-
Tetapi rupanya proses pemulihan itu lebih banyak bergulir di batin Franz. Yang diuraikan kepada pembaca lewat buku yang memiliki judul provokatif [immi mode on.. ;-)..:] lebih banyak kepada bagaimana proses cinta (love, kasih, kasih sayang, whatever) bisa tumbuh di antara manusia-manusia yang tinggal di berbagai belahan dunia, dengan kultur dan latar belakang yang berbeda-beda.
Franz bertualang menjadi life observer ke Brazil, India, Nikaragua, Cheska, Mesir (yess, Mesir yg itu), Selandia Baru, dan Botswana. Dia mengamati bagaimana cinta bisa tumbuh di antara makhluk-makhluk Tuhan yang terlahir di tiap negara, kemudian bagaimana mereka menaro persepsi tentang cinta, meletakkan harapan, menjadikan kekuatan, atau menjadikan jalan bersama. Uraian yang terlalu panjang, kadang terasa membosankan.
Jadi uraian lebih banyak ke sisi antropologis (cmiiw) misalnya bagaimana ternyata orang Brasil tidak banyak menggambarkan hal yang muluk-muluk saat menggambarkan pasangan ideal mereka. Bahasa kita, yang pasti-pasti aja lah. Atau di India, negara yang penuh dengan kasta dan golongan, segala sesuatu yang disiapkan dan direncanakan…biasanya gagal.
Bagi pembaca yang sudah kenal dengan Franz lewat buku pertamanya, tentu akan kembali menemukan kelucuan-kelucuan yang dalam lewat perenungan iseng, jenaka, tapi bermakna. Bagaimana cara dunia ini membatasi perselingkuhan ? Menurut Franz, sederhana saja : dengan tidak menyebutkan “perselingkuhan” karena ini mencerminkan pelanggaran, kejahatan. Di Perancis, hanya disebut “main mata”. Di Botswana, “dia sedang pergi dengan orang lain”. Cheska ? “Bermain di kasur lain”.
Lalu Franz menarik kesimpulan yang dahsyat di akhir buku. Gw kutip sedikit buat yg berminat :
Lebih daripada kasta dan suku, yang paling dicari oleh dunia dalam sosok seorang pasangan cinta, dari pengamatanku, adalah kekuatan. Bukan bahu bidang atau kaki pelari berdaya tahan tinggi untuk hari-hari yang panjang dan melelahkan, meskipun itu tentu juga penting. Yang kumaksud adalah kekuatan jiwa. NYALI.
Di bagian lain, Franz menulis : Dunia India dan Arab mengajariku konsep cinta yang bisa ditumbuhkan. Lupakanlah fantasi tentang belahan jiwa.
Menjelang ending, ada satu bagian yang luar biasa… penggambaran adegan ketika jantung Franz harus berdetak sangat kencang untuk mengadapi suatu moment yang membangkitkan trauma, tapi ada sisi perlawanan dari dirinya sendiri karena ia telah memiliki kepercayaan untuk itu.
Gw gak mau cerita… khawatir spoiler.. tapi ini adegan yang gila.
Adegan yang menggelitik, membangkitkan tawa, dan di saat yang sama penuh haru, sedikit tragis. Kontradiktif. Ditingkahi dengan celetukan-celetukan celaan dari teman-teman dekat Franz yang awalnya tertawa riuh, meledek gila-gilaan… lalu perlahan yang ada hanya senyap.. hening. Tercekat. Di bagian ini.. gw tertawa.. tapi tanpa terasa.. mata gw basah…
-andri-
***
Rombongan Tariq Ali gw pending dulu. Sekuel dari HWMB ini lebih menarik bagi gw, karena gw suka dengan buku yg pertama itu. Ada keraguan sih, karena apakah memiliki kesamaan 'spirit' dengan buku yg pertama. Belum lagi pandangan fait accompli kemungkinan sekuel ini hanya mendomplang kesuksesan buku pertamanya.
Tapi menyimak negara-negara yang dikunjungi oleh Franz, membuat gw memutuskan untuk baca. Semoga menambah referensi impian gw untuk someday bisa trip around the world...
-andri-
January 29, 2010
I am a person who longed for adventures, especially adventures by traveling around the world. I enjoy reading traveling stories based on the traveler's experiences because it's REAL. None of that 'traveling guide books' can really give the readers the real sense of adventure because they mainly focuses on the places, not the people. That's why, when I first discovered Honeymoon With My Brother, I immediately fell in love! And when I found out that there was going to be second book, I went hunting to the bookstore as frequently as I could.
And I can definitely say that this book (HTWML) was totally worth the wait!
I LOVED it!
This book taught me how to open my mind, expand my horizons, and how I say Yes more to whatever life has to offer for me, the goods and the bads. I loved the way Franz told the readers that, Yes, people do cheat on one another, adultery and affairs are common things around the world and all that, BUT that doesn't mean we should give up on LOVE!
I mean, for a guy who was dumped in the altar by his ex-fiance, he had every reason to scratch the word LOVE out of his dictionary. but instead, he decided to travel around world to maybe find out a whole different side of love he'd never seen nor understood before. That's genius!
And I was even more in love with Franz's own journey and new discoveries in his love life. I couldn't help but cheered for him every step of the way, wanting the best for him.
Oh, and those humor?? Boy, I couldn't get enough of them! I found myself cracking up every minute, here and there. He inserted these hilarious comments and jokes brilliantly so there was never a 'aah...this is the boring part' or 'Geez...this is heavy stuffs' for me.
In the end, I regained my faith on love after reading this book. And, in a life as hectic as mine, THAT is a big deal.
PS: Can't wait to see the movie adaptation on HWMB!!!
And I can definitely say that this book (HTWML) was totally worth the wait!
I LOVED it!
This book taught me how to open my mind, expand my horizons, and how I say Yes more to whatever life has to offer for me, the goods and the bads. I loved the way Franz told the readers that, Yes, people do cheat on one another, adultery and affairs are common things around the world and all that, BUT that doesn't mean we should give up on LOVE!
I mean, for a guy who was dumped in the altar by his ex-fiance, he had every reason to scratch the word LOVE out of his dictionary. but instead, he decided to travel around world to maybe find out a whole different side of love he'd never seen nor understood before. That's genius!
And I was even more in love with Franz's own journey and new discoveries in his love life. I couldn't help but cheered for him every step of the way, wanting the best for him.
Oh, and those humor?? Boy, I couldn't get enough of them! I found myself cracking up every minute, here and there. He inserted these hilarious comments and jokes brilliantly so there was never a 'aah...this is the boring part' or 'Geez...this is heavy stuffs' for me.
In the end, I regained my faith on love after reading this book. And, in a life as hectic as mine, THAT is a big deal.
PS: Can't wait to see the movie adaptation on HWMB!!!
May 8, 2009
Love around the world... there aren't any amazing new insights into the world of love, but what do you expect? This book is a nice tour of the way relationships are handled in different parts of the world, framed with the author's own life experiences. I especially liked the following:
And finally, on pg. 273 - Do you want to help your relationship succeed? See it like the Indians see a new relationship. Envision it as a vacant lot rather than a finished house. That way, you'll pick up a shovel and go to work rather than relax in the La-Z-Boy and assume love will come automatically.
Ten Global Threats to Love
#1 - TEXTING. In theory, technology should enhance a couple's communication. But let me just respond to my friend's urgent message about her cheating boyfriend, or check the score of this cricket match. Now, what was I saying?
#3 - CARS. Brazilians flirt on the buses. Africans share rides in vans. Europeans comingle on subways and trains. Cars, though, separate us from the masses. Instead of interacting, we listen to talk show hosts lecture about interacting. Around the world, we're becoming that man who knows a thousand ways to make love to woman [sic:], yet doesn't know any women.
#5 - WEDDINGS, TOO. In many wealthier nations, weddings have evolved from simple ceremonies to grand multiday affairs. The events require so much time and planning that couples spend their days talking more about golf tournaments and lobster crostini and less about their upcoming commitment. Once couples set a date, their weddings, and their relationships, go on autopilot. They should take a lesson from the third world, where such celebrations are handled by families and communities, leaving couples with more time to focus on each other.
And finally, on pg. 273 - Do you want to help your relationship succeed? See it like the Indians see a new relationship. Envision it as a vacant lot rather than a finished house. That way, you'll pick up a shovel and go to work rather than relax in the La-Z-Boy and assume love will come automatically.
March 29, 2020
It took me FOREVER to finish this book, which is probably a sign that it was not that good. I can’t quite put my finger on why I was not very into it; it had all of the trappings of travel books that I tend to enjoy. I think the author had to stretch a little too much to come up with generalizations about things he learned from different countries, and then had to stretch even more to apply them to his own life. The book had a good premise, but just not a great execution.
August 10, 2012
I didn't end up finishing this book. I found it boring and predictable and I don't think he offered any particular insight into love, dating and sex around the world. He ended up focusing way more on himself than any of the people he met along the way.
September 5, 2009
Not nearly as good as his first, Honeymoon with my Brother. While it was okay, I was really disappointed.
November 23, 2019
I read Franz's first book and enjoyed this one just as thoroughly. Franz went traveling about the world to find out how different countries approach love and marriage and courting....and in the process finds his own love.
April 15, 2010
I've never read the Franz Wisner's first book, Honeymoon with my Brother, the story of when his wife left him at the alter, crushing his belief in love. Having non-refundable tickets he decides to take his brother along with him on his honeymoon trip, a trip that lasted two years. However, I've heard great things about that book, and this follow-up's premise gripped me instantly when I read it, "a look at love and it's meaning from countries around the world." Yeah, I'm a chick like that.
I must admit that after the first 100 pages I was a bit bored with the book. Naturally, while many countries may have different values and life lessons, since love is universal, every country that Franz and his brother visit to find out what they think about love kind of blends together. Sure Egypt has different beliefs on what love means then say Brazil, but the fundamental concept is still the same, "to find someone that makes you happy." So yeah, after the first 100 pages, I found myself more in love with the concept of the book rather then its execution. However, when Franz meets Tracy, single mother and "hey weren't you in that tv show" actress, the book became really engaging for me. Because it showcased that you can travel around the world looking for the answer to love's many questions, but sometimes love's greatest answers are the one's we just dive in to without knowing anything, because as we all know, no matter how hard we sometimes may fight it, the heart wants what the heart wants.
So yeah How the World Makes Love is a greatly enjoyable read, for those that are romantics and those that may feel the romance has slipped away from their life. Wisner's writing is witty and fresh. He has a free flowing writing style that makes reading what is essentially a travel journal engaging and humorous. Sure guys will probably stay away from this book, but given the chance I'm confident everyone who reads it will get something out of it.
I must admit that after the first 100 pages I was a bit bored with the book. Naturally, while many countries may have different values and life lessons, since love is universal, every country that Franz and his brother visit to find out what they think about love kind of blends together. Sure Egypt has different beliefs on what love means then say Brazil, but the fundamental concept is still the same, "to find someone that makes you happy." So yeah, after the first 100 pages, I found myself more in love with the concept of the book rather then its execution. However, when Franz meets Tracy, single mother and "hey weren't you in that tv show" actress, the book became really engaging for me. Because it showcased that you can travel around the world looking for the answer to love's many questions, but sometimes love's greatest answers are the one's we just dive in to without knowing anything, because as we all know, no matter how hard we sometimes may fight it, the heart wants what the heart wants.
So yeah How the World Makes Love is a greatly enjoyable read, for those that are romantics and those that may feel the romance has slipped away from their life. Wisner's writing is witty and fresh. He has a free flowing writing style that makes reading what is essentially a travel journal engaging and humorous. Sure guys will probably stay away from this book, but given the chance I'm confident everyone who reads it will get something out of it.
August 1, 2010
ketika mulai membaca buku ini saya sedikit menyesal karena telah membelinya, namun penyesalan tersebut tidak lantas membuat saya melemparkan buku tersebut dan memutuskan untuk tidak membacanya lagi. sebaliknya saya meneruskan membaca buku tersebut, sepertinya bukan karena dihinggapi rasa ingin tahu, melainkan dihinggapi rasa sangat bersalah jika saya tidak menmyelesaikannya karena telah mengeluarkan uang yang cukup besar.
tak disangka semakin saya membeca buku tersebut, saya semakin menemukan ketertarikan terhadap buku tersebut. ketertarikan itu muncul karena saya menemukan bahwa betapa romatis dan sempurnanya kisah-kisah percintaan penghuni wilayah barat dunia hanyalah mitos yang entah bagaimana telah tertanam di benak saya dan mungkin di benak sebagian orang di sini (kecurigaan terbesar saya persepsi ini kita dapatkan lewat penetrasi media di sekitar kita)
hubungan dua insan manusia yang diikat oleh cinta merupakan sesuatu yang sangat rapuh, yang bisa sangat mudah hancur berkeping-keping jika saja hal itu hanya digantungkan di pundak dua insan manusia tersebut. sebaiknya, buang saja keluar jendela berbagai khayalan tentang cinta dua insan yang tergoyahkan meskipun badai dan topan menghadang.
find some back up for your love. they could be parents, families, relatives, the elders, society or even religion. in a normal proportion these parties could
strengthen and keep your love burn alive, even with not the hardest flame . . .
tak disangka semakin saya membeca buku tersebut, saya semakin menemukan ketertarikan terhadap buku tersebut. ketertarikan itu muncul karena saya menemukan bahwa betapa romatis dan sempurnanya kisah-kisah percintaan penghuni wilayah barat dunia hanyalah mitos yang entah bagaimana telah tertanam di benak saya dan mungkin di benak sebagian orang di sini (kecurigaan terbesar saya persepsi ini kita dapatkan lewat penetrasi media di sekitar kita)
hubungan dua insan manusia yang diikat oleh cinta merupakan sesuatu yang sangat rapuh, yang bisa sangat mudah hancur berkeping-keping jika saja hal itu hanya digantungkan di pundak dua insan manusia tersebut. sebaiknya, buang saja keluar jendela berbagai khayalan tentang cinta dua insan yang tergoyahkan meskipun badai dan topan menghadang.
find some back up for your love. they could be parents, families, relatives, the elders, society or even religion. in a normal proportion these parties could
strengthen and keep your love burn alive, even with not the hardest flame . . .
December 14, 2009
Very good, fast-paced piece of travel/relationship writing. I highly recommend it.
Some favorite parts:
A married Nicaraguan woman explains success
Physical appearance is irrelevant, though it is important to be good in bed.
The author has a realization
Love is the only belief on which the world agrees. Meters or feet, coffee or tea, Buddha or Allah, futbol or football, cars on the left or right--our planet cannot come to a consensus on anything. Except love.
The world believes deeply in love. Deeply. Ardently. With a shy smile and an instant nod, people around the globe say it exists in all of us. It can thrive. Sure, they have a hard time describing it, let alone capturing it, but it's there. They know it. From closed societies or Western worlds, in bodies wrinkled or smooth, with preferences for the apposite sex or the same, with pockets well stocked or barren, the world sings the same love song. The practices vary, but the passions remain identical.
A young Nicaraguan woman talking about love
Nica men think love is an empty space you need to fill. For me, love is if I am happy and you are happy, we can share. But if you are not happy, you can share nothing.
When I had sex with the fireman, it was not love. Just I needed a hug. But love doesn't leave in the morning.
Some favorite parts:
A married Nicaraguan woman explains success
Physical appearance is irrelevant, though it is important to be good in bed.
The author has a realization
Love is the only belief on which the world agrees. Meters or feet, coffee or tea, Buddha or Allah, futbol or football, cars on the left or right--our planet cannot come to a consensus on anything. Except love.
The world believes deeply in love. Deeply. Ardently. With a shy smile and an instant nod, people around the globe say it exists in all of us. It can thrive. Sure, they have a hard time describing it, let alone capturing it, but it's there. They know it. From closed societies or Western worlds, in bodies wrinkled or smooth, with preferences for the apposite sex or the same, with pockets well stocked or barren, the world sings the same love song. The practices vary, but the passions remain identical.
A young Nicaraguan woman talking about love
Nica men think love is an empty space you need to fill. For me, love is if I am happy and you are happy, we can share. But if you are not happy, you can share nothing.
When I had sex with the fireman, it was not love. Just I needed a hug. But love doesn't leave in the morning.
September 15, 2009
After thoroughly enjoying the lightness and self-deprecating humor of Franz Wisner's first book, "Honeymoon with my Brother," I was very excited when I was told he had a new one. We were fortunate attend a book signing at Powell's City of Books and have dinner with both Franz and Kurt Wisner. How much has changed since the first book.
This second book was a puzzler at first. I assumed we'd be catching everyone up if they missed the first book. OK, that's fine.
But as he traveled, the news about love wasn't good. It wasn't that the writing wasn't good or enjoyable, I just wasn't liking the research results. I decided to trust Franz and keep going. It's not a long book, but my nighttime reading time is precious. I only want nice images before I go to sleep.
As I reached the middle of the book, it began to turn around, there was more humor and a truly lovely, fun story revealed itself and got back to the hope and joy I had experienced in the first book. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but I'm VERY glad I stuck with the book. I knew the writing style would not let me down, but I wanted it happy.
Thanks, Franz! You did it again - you gave me another book to talk about and recommend.
This second book was a puzzler at first. I assumed we'd be catching everyone up if they missed the first book. OK, that's fine.
But as he traveled, the news about love wasn't good. It wasn't that the writing wasn't good or enjoyable, I just wasn't liking the research results. I decided to trust Franz and keep going. It's not a long book, but my nighttime reading time is precious. I only want nice images before I go to sleep.
As I reached the middle of the book, it began to turn around, there was more humor and a truly lovely, fun story revealed itself and got back to the hope and joy I had experienced in the first book. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but I'm VERY glad I stuck with the book. I knew the writing style would not let me down, but I wanted it happy.
Thanks, Franz! You did it again - you gave me another book to talk about and recommend.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 3, 2011
(Spoiler alert) As sequel to Franz's first memoir, Honeymoon with my brother, this book displays what it takes for a real man to further explore a world outside of being the jilted groom in the altar. Each country installs a distinction on various approaches or plans of attack to Love and/or to making love; How passion is emanated around the world. Brazil - capitalizing on the confidence to attract and magnetize. India - the value and promise of learned love and earned love, etc. Reading memoirs on travel and adventure is one thing, adding the concept of love and making love certainly increases the fun. the transition from the author's quest for the world's concepts on love, his learnings, realizations, and his attempt on finding his own luck, to finally meeting the right one is absolutely heart warming. Though he didn't meet the one along his quest on various coutries, it was his learnings and maturity that made him realize how the right one has been there all along. --- it certainly answers how humans are as capable to making love work as to making it doomed to eternal damnation.
January 19, 2010
I really did not know what to expect from this story, but I knew that I wanted to read it because I loved the book "Honeymoon with my Brother." This book started out really funny and had my full attention. However, about half way into the book, I found myself getting a little bored with the stories from his travels. Though, I do think this was due to the fact that his personal life had gotten interesting and I really wanted to know how things were going to go with his new relationship. By the end of the book, I just could not put the book down because I was so happy for him and the story was just amazing. I really didn't know what this book could teach me about love, but I learned a few things that I will put into use. I really see myself craving this story again, so I will definitely read this book again.
August 13, 2012
I enjoyed this more than Honeymoon With My Brother... I mean if you read the two stories back to back, I am quite sure that you will see the progression from hurt to healed. The fact that Franz was in love while he wrote this story comes through on every page. Even though I knew who he'd chosen in the end, it was still quite interesting to see the process unfold. And. This time, he did a better job with details! One of my biggest gripes about HWMB was scant details in scenes that he obviously felt uncomfortable discussing - like sex. This time, he approached those scenes from a loving and respectful place and it made it more enjoyable. Definitely a different mindset going into this book than the first. Good work, dude.
And I loved that Kurt was able to say a few words at the end...
And I loved that Kurt was able to say a few words at the end...
November 18, 2009
Franz dan Kurt adiknya, sekali kali bertualang keliling dunia. Tapi kali ini bukan dalam rangka bulan madu tapi untuk berbicara kepada orang-orang Mesir, India, Republik Cheska, Nicaragua, Selandia Baru dan Botswana tentang masalah cinta dan percintaan. Gaya menulis Franz Wisner masih kocak dan penuh humor serta jeli melihat aspek-aspek kehidupan masyarakat dari tempat-tempat yang dikunjunginya.
Tadinya saya mau memberi bintang 4, tapi begitu Tracy muncul, porsi kehidupan pribadi semakin lama semakin banyak (lebai deh). Dalam kunjungan-kunjungan terkahir, Franz sendiri jadi tidak betah berlama-lama jauh dari si Tracy. Seperti buku pertama yang terlalu banyak Annie nya, buku kedua ini lebih banyak Tracy nya.
September 5, 2013
I liked reading about the different cultural perspectives and dating rituals from other places. Very interesting. I like Wisner's writing style, too.
I liked this book, but I definitely liked Honeymoon with my Brother more. I'm glad he found love and all, but I would have liked it to focus completely on the cultural stuff. One of the most profound things, though, was the concept of arranged marriage. Somewhere in the text something along these lines is learned: In many cultures, the wedding is seen as the starting point, a point from which to build love. Whereas in our culture, we see the wedding as the finish line, and we stop trying after a while. He says it much more eloquently, but I thought that concept was interesting.
I liked this book, but I definitely liked Honeymoon with my Brother more. I'm glad he found love and all, but I would have liked it to focus completely on the cultural stuff. One of the most profound things, though, was the concept of arranged marriage. Somewhere in the text something along these lines is learned: In many cultures, the wedding is seen as the starting point, a point from which to build love. Whereas in our culture, we see the wedding as the finish line, and we stop trying after a while. He says it much more eloquently, but I thought that concept was interesting.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 6, 2009
I enjoyed Franz Wisner's first book, Honeymoon with my Brother so much, I probably would have grabbed his next no matter the topic. Glad I did, if anything, he's outdone himself. How The World Makes Love is an exploration of dating and romance around the world, at the same time keeping an eye on how it relates to us personally. Having fun while thinking deeply, maintaining a sense of humor while searching for answers: my kind of non-fiction.
April 21, 2009
I really enjoyed the author's first book, Honeymoon with my Brother, and was glad to learn that he has a second book out. This was a fun read. There is much humor mixed in with information about love, courting, gender attitudes and so on in various countries around the world. Just like his previous book, this one also includes many tidbits about traveling. His travels and interviews, sometimes with his brother, are interspersed with his meeting, dating and falling in love with someone in LA--this is quite a story itself.
September 23, 2009
Am I getting soft? A bride jilts the groom at the altar. He goes on a quest around the world to ask the world on questions of love. To Brazil, Egypt, the Czech Republic, Nicaragua, New Zealand, and Botswana he travels asking the locals on the secrets to love.
So, this is a memoir of one man's travels. But it's more than that. It's one man's quest to understand this thing called love. It's about a guy trying to heal from a being jilted at the altar. It's rather a heart warming piece. That or I'm getting soft.
October 13, 2009
While the author has a tendency to lapse into generalizations and focuses on his own story a lot, overall this book is a great read. He has a good style and is clearly smart. He also clearly cares about finding ways to have mature relationships. A man who recognizes the importance of work and responsibility in a relationship? A man who thinks a good mom is sexy? A man who intelligently analyzes the pros and cons of non-Western relationship ideals? The author is all these things. How heartening!
February 15, 2010
Franz Wisner failed my expectation on the kicking sequel of the story about travelling around the world with your brother. The story, nevertheless, is still about the adventerous journey around the world. But carrying a mission to find love, sponsored by publisher? Blah! This surely paces down the excitement of travelling to find the true soul.
This book appears to be more like a love story, for me. Somehow, as Franz Wisner is a great story teller, I still enjoy the words he wrote. So, here you go, three stars for How the World Makes Love
This book appears to be more like a love story, for me. Somehow, as Franz Wisner is a great story teller, I still enjoy the words he wrote. So, here you go, three stars for How the World Makes Love
January 8, 2011
This book was a fun read, although I have to admit I had to return it to the library before I actually finished it. I will probably pick it up again when I have time, as it was an great way to see how different cultures view love and marriage and fidelity and infidelity. The part that takes place in India opened my eyes to a culture I didn't understand much about--but my favorite quote from the book was from an Indian woman who had been married for decades(Happily!) to a man chosen by her parents in an arranged marriage.
July 4, 2012
A couple years ago, our street had a book club and one of the books we read was Honeymoon with My Brother. The author joined us during our book club via a conference call which was cool (he enjoys doing book clubs).
In his latest book, he explores what love is around the world while he himself is falling in love with Tracy (who eventually becomes his wife).
It was interesting to read about what people in other countries look for in relationships, the process in getting together, who cheats, etc.
In his latest book, he explores what love is around the world while he himself is falling in love with Tracy (who eventually becomes his wife).
It was interesting to read about what people in other countries look for in relationships, the process in getting together, who cheats, etc.
October 16, 2013
This book is somewhat of a continuation of "Honeymoon with My Brother." Franz finds a way to continue his travels around the world with his brother, this time to learn about how other parts of the world find love. In between his travels, Franz finds himself drawn to a local actress who he went on a blind date with a while back. I found myself more interested in how this relationship develops and plays out, than in the details of various parts of the world and how they deal with love and relationships. I also found the ending satisfying and thought it was a good conclusion to the two books!
August 24, 2009
Sekuel kedua dari Franz Wisner ini menceritakan kelanjutan keliling dunianya.
Kali ini Franz dan Kurt punya misi untuk tahu apa arti cinta di beberapa negara.
It's fascinating to know what love is dari berbagai penduduk negara.
Ternyata cinta itu masih ada dan akan selalu ada, biarpun di negara dengan tingkat AIDS no 2 sedunia (Botswana), atau cinta lewat perjodohan (India)..
The most interesting part is when Franz realizes bahwa dia juga punya cinta dan merasakan cinta (pada akhirnya)..
Kali ini Franz dan Kurt punya misi untuk tahu apa arti cinta di beberapa negara.
It's fascinating to know what love is dari berbagai penduduk negara.
Ternyata cinta itu masih ada dan akan selalu ada, biarpun di negara dengan tingkat AIDS no 2 sedunia (Botswana), atau cinta lewat perjodohan (India)..
The most interesting part is when Franz realizes bahwa dia juga punya cinta dan merasakan cinta (pada akhirnya)..
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