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Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship
Mira Kirshenbaum (I Love You, But I Don't Trust You), an international bestselling author and world-renowned therapist, draws on years of counseling experience to lead readers through relationship ambivalence. A careful line of 36 questions and self-analysis techniques designed to get to the heart of relationship and marriage problems. This straightforward and practical advice is designed for newer and older relationships, and presents a plethora of information and experience in a clear, concise manner.
304 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 1996
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 285 reviews
January 5, 2009
I imagine most readers of Mira Kirshenbaum's "Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay" are leaning towards the going. Most of us tend not to mess with the good, or spend time analyzing why we feel bliss; rather we seek out deeper understanding only when something hurts. Human nature, I suppose. Take notice only when life becomes a pain. But as I read Kirshenbaum's easy to absorb guide on fencesitting relationships, I realized this is a good read even for the best of relationships. Even for those currently between relationships. Why not gain understanding as a preventative measure and avoid the iffy relationship entirely?
Kirshenbaum's book uses a series of diagnostic questions to ascertain if a relationship weighs more heavily on the side of staying or leaving. Yet, even as she encourages insights, Kirshenbaum, a trained psychotherapist who offers relationship counseling in Boston, is careful to remain in neutral territory, making no hard and fast judgments. A good therapist, after all, doesn't make decisions for you, or even give advice, as much as she offers guidelines and helps you find the answers for yourself, the right ones for you. Kirshenbaum stays on the up and up throughout. Even when a diagnostic appears to point to a major GO! she gently states: your situation may be different. Fencesitting? Nah. While we are all the same, as human beings, we are also all unique, and our relationships especially so. Take with grain of salt, then, and a recommendation to talk to a therapist one on one if truly stuck.
That said, I enjoyed this book and found myself recommending it to several others, regardless of their relationship status quo. The diagnostic questions are good ones. They lead to a good, long look in the mirror, a reassessing of one's own emotional well being, and gauging that one is in, or out, of a relationship for all the right and healthy reasons. And, if you are in a good relationship, the many yes's to Kirshenbaum's questions can rejuvenate any fencesitter, giving new appreciation for maybe what was pretty darn good all along. It's always nice to know you're doing just fine.
Kirshenbaum's book uses a series of diagnostic questions to ascertain if a relationship weighs more heavily on the side of staying or leaving. Yet, even as she encourages insights, Kirshenbaum, a trained psychotherapist who offers relationship counseling in Boston, is careful to remain in neutral territory, making no hard and fast judgments. A good therapist, after all, doesn't make decisions for you, or even give advice, as much as she offers guidelines and helps you find the answers for yourself, the right ones for you. Kirshenbaum stays on the up and up throughout. Even when a diagnostic appears to point to a major GO! she gently states: your situation may be different. Fencesitting? Nah. While we are all the same, as human beings, we are also all unique, and our relationships especially so. Take with grain of salt, then, and a recommendation to talk to a therapist one on one if truly stuck.
That said, I enjoyed this book and found myself recommending it to several others, regardless of their relationship status quo. The diagnostic questions are good ones. They lead to a good, long look in the mirror, a reassessing of one's own emotional well being, and gauging that one is in, or out, of a relationship for all the right and healthy reasons. And, if you are in a good relationship, the many yes's to Kirshenbaum's questions can rejuvenate any fencesitter, giving new appreciation for maybe what was pretty darn good all along. It's always nice to know you're doing just fine.
March 5, 2008
You'll still be confused as hell, but at least you will feel normal. Situation after situation, I could relate to.
February 17, 2011
The premise of this book is that trying to weigh the options of leaving or staying in a relationship is a losing game...but it's also what most of us do when we feel uncertain about the relationship we are in. A relationship can feel good one day and bad the next, so it is almost impossible to weigh the good against the bad.
Instead, this book takes the approach of asking a series of questions. Some questions focus on what we might think of as minimum qualities for a relationship: When the relationship was at it's best, was it really very good? Does your relationship support your having fun together?
Some questions focus on qualities that make a relationship a positive experience: Do you have an unique sexual attraction to your partner? Is there a demonstrated capacity and mechanism for genuine forgiveness in your relationship?
A few questions focus on signs that you've made up your mind, but just haven't realized it yet: If God give you permission to leave the relationship, would you be relieved? Have you already made a concrete commitment to pursue a course of action or lifestyle that definately excludes your partner?
The majority of question focus on "deal-breakers", or characteristics that predict an unhappy relationship: Has there been more than one incident of physical violence in your relationship? Do you have a basic, recurring, never-completely-going-away feeling of humiliation or invisibility in your relationship? Have you gotten to the point, when your partner says something, that you usually feel it's more likely that they are lying than they are telling the truth?
A relationship where you feel demeaned, where there is no trust, or where there is a constant threat of physical violence should be left, regardless of the good things it has going for it. It's easy to convince yourself that the good offsets the bad, but some things are simply too bad to put up with, and significantly predict unhappiness.
On the other hand, if one has a relationship where they feel supported, they can trust their partner, where both parties are attracted to each other and enjoy touching each other, and they think their partner is truly a good person, it is likely that the bad parts in the relationship can be overcome and that the good is enough to make the relationship worth staying in.
I found this book exceptionally helpful for me when resolving my feelings about my marriage. Like most relationships, there was both good and bad, and trying to decide if it was more good or bad was driving me insane. This book allowed me to really evaluate the good and bad parts and give me the confidence to make a decision with very little questioning of it later. The fact that a book gave me the confidence I couldn't get from friends, family, or therapists, was really impressive. I highly recommend it for anyone suffering from indecision about a relationship.
Instead, this book takes the approach of asking a series of questions. Some questions focus on what we might think of as minimum qualities for a relationship: When the relationship was at it's best, was it really very good? Does your relationship support your having fun together?
Some questions focus on qualities that make a relationship a positive experience: Do you have an unique sexual attraction to your partner? Is there a demonstrated capacity and mechanism for genuine forgiveness in your relationship?
A few questions focus on signs that you've made up your mind, but just haven't realized it yet: If God give you permission to leave the relationship, would you be relieved? Have you already made a concrete commitment to pursue a course of action or lifestyle that definately excludes your partner?
The majority of question focus on "deal-breakers", or characteristics that predict an unhappy relationship: Has there been more than one incident of physical violence in your relationship? Do you have a basic, recurring, never-completely-going-away feeling of humiliation or invisibility in your relationship? Have you gotten to the point, when your partner says something, that you usually feel it's more likely that they are lying than they are telling the truth?
A relationship where you feel demeaned, where there is no trust, or where there is a constant threat of physical violence should be left, regardless of the good things it has going for it. It's easy to convince yourself that the good offsets the bad, but some things are simply too bad to put up with, and significantly predict unhappiness.
On the other hand, if one has a relationship where they feel supported, they can trust their partner, where both parties are attracted to each other and enjoy touching each other, and they think their partner is truly a good person, it is likely that the bad parts in the relationship can be overcome and that the good is enough to make the relationship worth staying in.
I found this book exceptionally helpful for me when resolving my feelings about my marriage. Like most relationships, there was both good and bad, and trying to decide if it was more good or bad was driving me insane. This book allowed me to really evaluate the good and bad parts and give me the confidence to make a decision with very little questioning of it later. The fact that a book gave me the confidence I couldn't get from friends, family, or therapists, was really impressive. I highly recommend it for anyone suffering from indecision about a relationship.
January 21, 2013
If u can relate to the title then this is a must read. I read it in 3 days. While i left the book still feeling 50/50 about the relationship, it was a logical, well informed 50/50 rather than a previously confused state.
Over time that 50/50 lead to a big STAY, with the help of other books like Hold Me Tight by Dr Johnson, Dealbreakers by Sharon Marshall and 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman.
Over time that 50/50 lead to a big STAY, with the help of other books like Hold Me Tight by Dr Johnson, Dealbreakers by Sharon Marshall and 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman.
May 21, 2014
I'm going to quote a top Amazon review:
My wife and I have been married six years and have had marital troubles for nearly a year. However, we are taking very concrete steps to try to address them and we're making good progress. We're learning a lot more about ourselves and each other, about personalities and temperaments and what influences them. Now we are better able to appreciate how those factors manifest in our day-to-day behavior. It is hard work, but we both agree that in the end it's worth it – regardless of the eventual outcome of our marriage. This book was recommended to me by a person that I have generally known to have good judgement, so I took a look. I can say without a doubt that if I had read this book a year ago, my wife and I would now be divorced and that decision would have been the biggest mistake of our lives. Several of the so-called guidelines pointed to behavior on my wife's part AND others on my own part that would have caused each of us to conclude that we would be more happy if we left than stayed. The method of decision making suggested by this book is bereft of the kind of hard work it really takes to evaluate the future of a relationship and the behavior of people in relationships. It fails to explore personality types – a cornerstone to understanding why your partner may behave the way he or she behaves. It also assumes the problem MUST reside within your partner, not within yourself. In my relationship, the problem was 80% of my own creation. But, through self-evaluation and study we have been able to LEARN more about our own personalities so that now we can better appreciate our differences and give our love for one another a chance to flourish. Unfortunately, this book rests on the premise that people are inflexible, cannot observe themselves and that their mates cannot change themselves, and therefore, whatever you've got is as good as it will get. I disagree and urge anyone who reads this to use great caution. Mira Kirshenbaum has attempted to boil life and relationships into a simplicity that belittles the capacity of humans to love and change.
July 23, 2007
Insightful. Crazy. Depressing. Hopeful. Clarity. Shocking. Confusing. A really good read for people really fucked-up in their marriage.
August 10, 2007
i have recommended this to several women STUCK in relationships that were exactly that: too good to leave (translated "dont wanna be alone") and too bad to stay (unhealthy or violent or going nowhere). in every case, they found the courage to leave forging a new life and often finding new, true love - never once looking back.
April 8, 2020
I have to say I'm fairly disappointed given the largely glowing reviews this book tends to receive. This edition is now going on twenty-three years old having been published in 1997 [per what I'm seeing the first edition was in 1996], and unlike some self-help books that are just as old or much older, I largely do not feel like it's aged very well. Twenty-three years might not seem like a lot for the field of interpersonal relationships, but insofar as this book is concerned it definitely makes a lot of the content feel pretty dated. That's not to say that there isn't value here. What this book is good at is offering up some questions that will probably make you think about some aspects of things you hadn't previously considered. However, as a so-called "diagnostic manual" I have doubts you're going to find the clarity Kirshenbaum outright assumes you will have by the end of the book. While I wouldn't expect any single book to give forthright answers about such in-depth topics as these, this book grossly oversold itself as some be-all-end-all to the specific question it focuses all of its pages on. It also holds itself out as being partner neutral, but having read the whole book, it's clearly (to me) intended for a female audience. That isn't a bad thing, but it does make the book feel a bit dishonest when it tries to bridge this gap in a few places by adding in "her" or "hers," but then immediately reverts to feeling well.. very much like a 1990s self-help book for middle class or above women. That's actually one of my biggest gripes with the book, despite Kirshenbaum's constant references to her lengthy experience (which I do not question, for the record) this book seems to bring up issues of race and wealth just enough to pretend as though it dealt with them, then proceeds to ignore them entirely. The simple fact is that lot of people won't have access to the safety nets this book presumes they will have, and as such I don't think I'd really recommend this book to a broad audience given its sensitive subject matter. It's a real shame, parts of the book are quite good, but on the whole even these good parts don't merit anything above a "it was ok" (two stars) on the Goodreads rating scale.
November 2, 2014
When you are ambivalent about a relationship, you close down and spend all your energy defending your heart. Reading this book made me realize that I have an amazing partner in life. The questions make you analyze those things that make a relationship strong -- despite the curveballs that life throws us. I think this is a good read for people thinking about marrying and really helpful for those of us who temporarily forgot what made their hearts sing in the first place. The best part I think is that you come away from the book feeling peace. The author is unapologetically direct. She never tells you what to do; rather she shares years of insight and research which tell you how other people who answered the questions felt when they made their decisions. It's really eye-opening and relationship saving. (If you end something that is at its core -- unsustainable -- it is kinder for all to end it.)
May 31, 2011
This book was sitting in my queue for over 5 years, and I FINALLY got to read it. All I can say is that if I had read the book when I first discovered it and went through all the diagnostic questions laid out in the book, then I would have identified myself as being in the ‘relationship ambivalence” state a long time ago and did something about it a lot sooner.
The book goes through a series of diagnostic questions to provide clarity on whether an “iffy” relationship is "too good to leave or too bad to stay", with plenty of examples & case studies. At the end of the book, the author lists additional resources (books) on how to move on if you chose to go; and another list on how to strengthen your relationship & improve communication if you chose to stay.
This is not a book for you if you’re looking for a quick answer or some kind of an external approval to get out of your current relationship. In fact, I thought the book was a bit long winded & wishy-washy initially. But do it right, go through the 30+ diagnostic questions and think it through, at least you'll finally get clarity/closure by the end of the book on how you should proceed with your relationship.
The book goes through a series of diagnostic questions to provide clarity on whether an “iffy” relationship is "too good to leave or too bad to stay", with plenty of examples & case studies. At the end of the book, the author lists additional resources (books) on how to move on if you chose to go; and another list on how to strengthen your relationship & improve communication if you chose to stay.
This is not a book for you if you’re looking for a quick answer or some kind of an external approval to get out of your current relationship. In fact, I thought the book was a bit long winded & wishy-washy initially. But do it right, go through the 30+ diagnostic questions and think it through, at least you'll finally get clarity/closure by the end of the book on how you should proceed with your relationship.
September 24, 2007
I liked the cut & dried, black & white approach to this book. Author is forward about what she thinks is wrong or right in a relationship. Sometimes, I want someone to just tell me, strait up, "hey, that stinks" or "hey, that's ok". I won't always agree, but I wnt feedback. Somehow, the way she portrays certain couples, she is pretty specific when she says, "this couple probably shouldn't be together" and "this one should". That doesn't mean it's easy for me, the reader, to really decide whether 1) I fully agree with her judgements, and 2) whether my relationship falls into one category or another, anyway. But she does provide tools to help the reader evaluate their relationships, and her approach is very helpful.
July 16, 2015
This an excellent guide for people who are stuck thinking about leaving their relationship but haven’t been able to come to any conclusions. Mira throws out the ‘balancing scale’ approach to decision-making (how do you weigh up hundreds of pieces of ever-changing information anyway?) in favour of a clinical ‘diagnostic’ approach. This is a genius move because it means that just one critical piece of information can effectively make the decision for you. Which makes a lot of sense – if your husband is the best partner in the world EXCEPT when he beats you black and blue, it doesn’t matter how great he is at other times, you only need to know that there is recurrent physical violence to know that things probably won’t get better and you should leave. There are 30+ pieces of potentially revelatory information here, as Mira asks the important, deal-breaking questions one by one (all of which I wrote down for myself because they are absolute gold). She also does this in a very effective and easy-to-read way and you can tell she knows her stuff. For a select group of people suffering relationship ambivalence, this really could be life-changing stuff. And it was a darn good read too!
January 5, 2025
Geeft interessante inzichten over relaties en wat ze juist laat werken of niet
March 24, 2008
this books is a really good guide for those trying to figure out if they should stay or go in a relationship... it starts you out with a scenario, followed by question(s) which build upon each other and lead up to your answer: stay or go. it is a combination of self-help and workbook. if you're one of those that keep falling into the "gray" of the relationship, this book will help you keep things "black and white", which will help you be more objective when evaluating what can be a major life decision. a good book - read it.
October 4, 2013
This book was amazing in helping me decide what to do about the ambivalent relationship I have been in for over 5 years!!!!
If you've been juggling whether to stay in a relationship or leave, seriously....pick this book up & give it a whirl!
It defines issues in a diagnostic fashion instead of weighing pros & cons.
If you've been juggling whether to stay in a relationship or leave, seriously....pick this book up & give it a whirl!
It defines issues in a diagnostic fashion instead of weighing pros & cons.
February 25, 2011
This book helped me move out of ambivalence and see that my marriage was the source of my unhappiness I recommend this to anyone who feels stuck and unhappy in a relationship.
August 16, 2018
Interessant boek dat voor nieuwe inzichten zorgde. Het voelt bij momenten wel zeer Amerikaans in toon en stijl, maar als je daar voorbij kan kijken is dit het lezen echt wel waard :-)
April 15, 2017
Dudé un par de veces de si agregar este libro a mi "estantería" digital del libros pública, y más aún dudé si debía compartir mis impresiones abiertamente. Al final decidí compartirlo porque hay dos temas de los que casi nadie habla, pero que a todos nos causan problemas en algún momento u otro de nuestra vida adulta. Los dos temas son el dinero y las finanzas personales; y las relaciones personales (amorosas, de amistad, familiares). Saber que no se está solo es muchas veces lo único que se necesita para sentir que no es el fin del mundo y que esos problemas tienen solución.
Al compartir mis impresiones estoy decidiendo hacerle saber a quien esté pasando por alguna dificultad con su pareja: a todos nos sucede, no todos sabemos cómo solucionarlo, no estás solo/a y es mejor que te tomes acciones claras para solucionar tus problems. Busca ayuda, mentores, hazte preguntas objetivas y búscales respuestas. Sentarte a sufrir a solas no te sacará de dudas. No digo que haya que salir a gritar a los cuatro vientos qué está mal con nuestras vidas, pero sí está bien abrirse a alguien de confianza que no esté directamente involucrado y que te pueda guiar. Compartir tus problemas abiertamente cuando estás en plena crisis probablemente te exponga a mayores daños, porque en medio de los problemas se es más vulnerable de lo normal. En crisis se dicen y se hacen tonterías. Sin embargo, lo que aprendas al solucionarlos puede que sirva de ayuda a otros.
Sobre el libro en sí: me fue recomendado por un familiar. Ir a terapia de parejas no era una idea que me atrajera mucho, así que esto fue lo más cercano a ello. El libro está escrito de manera muy práctica. Toca una diversidad de problemas por los que pueden pasar las parejas (uno o todos a la vez) y todos están enmarcados con ejemplos de la vida real. Cada problema tiene una pregunta diagnóstica para determinar si tú lo tienes o no. Y seguido de ello hay guías sobre cómo se puede resolver. Está hecho para leerlo "a solas" (no con la pareja en cuestión) y el objetivo final es decidir si lo mejor para ti es quedarte o salir de tu relación. Sonará contradictorio resolver un problema de parejas a solas, pero muchas veces las crisis de pareja requieren que los individuos que la conforman se aclaren cada uno consigo mismo antes de hacerlo con el otro. El tema del libro es, en particular, la ambivalencia. Si estás en una relación en la que no sabes si quedarte o terminar, este libro puede que te sea de ayuda. La razón por la que no le di un cinco es porque hay muchas referencias culturales con las que no conecto, y son tan amplios los problemas que es natural que hubiese muchos con los que no me identificara, pero en general es muy práctico y completo.
Al compartir mis impresiones estoy decidiendo hacerle saber a quien esté pasando por alguna dificultad con su pareja: a todos nos sucede, no todos sabemos cómo solucionarlo, no estás solo/a y es mejor que te tomes acciones claras para solucionar tus problems. Busca ayuda, mentores, hazte preguntas objetivas y búscales respuestas. Sentarte a sufrir a solas no te sacará de dudas. No digo que haya que salir a gritar a los cuatro vientos qué está mal con nuestras vidas, pero sí está bien abrirse a alguien de confianza que no esté directamente involucrado y que te pueda guiar. Compartir tus problemas abiertamente cuando estás en plena crisis probablemente te exponga a mayores daños, porque en medio de los problemas se es más vulnerable de lo normal. En crisis se dicen y se hacen tonterías. Sin embargo, lo que aprendas al solucionarlos puede que sirva de ayuda a otros.
Sobre el libro en sí: me fue recomendado por un familiar. Ir a terapia de parejas no era una idea que me atrajera mucho, así que esto fue lo más cercano a ello. El libro está escrito de manera muy práctica. Toca una diversidad de problemas por los que pueden pasar las parejas (uno o todos a la vez) y todos están enmarcados con ejemplos de la vida real. Cada problema tiene una pregunta diagnóstica para determinar si tú lo tienes o no. Y seguido de ello hay guías sobre cómo se puede resolver. Está hecho para leerlo "a solas" (no con la pareja en cuestión) y el objetivo final es decidir si lo mejor para ti es quedarte o salir de tu relación. Sonará contradictorio resolver un problema de parejas a solas, pero muchas veces las crisis de pareja requieren que los individuos que la conforman se aclaren cada uno consigo mismo antes de hacerlo con el otro. El tema del libro es, en particular, la ambivalencia. Si estás en una relación en la que no sabes si quedarte o terminar, este libro puede que te sea de ayuda. La razón por la que no le di un cinco es porque hay muchas referencias culturales con las que no conecto, y son tan amplios los problemas que es natural que hubiese muchos con los que no me identificara, pero en general es muy práctico y completo.
September 15, 2016
I found the book to be well written and easy to read. The information was presented objectively. Diagnostic questions, examples, real life stories helped put things in context. I think the book is useful regardless of your relationship status. It helps identify positive and necessary aspects of relationships as well as thoughts on how they can be improved and warning signs. The author seems to have a plethora of relevant experience that made the book very credible.
September 12, 2020
I think there is a big miss in this book. When it determines a manual on if you should leave or stay. It says people in the same situation were happier after they left. But I am not sure how long after. That is important. 2 months after? Two years? Or 10 years? I don't find this book a valid reference to such decisions for myself.
March 10, 2008
Helped propel me out of a bad relationship - should be required reading for anyone on the fence about a personal relationship, romantic or otherwise.
Read
August 30, 2009I love this book, it helped me to put perspective in my life and to evaluate the relationships I allow.
June 4, 2018
Wat een boeiend boek, ook als je niet denkt aan scheiden. Vol vragen die je jezelf kunt stellen over je relatie en de manier waarop je met elkaar omgaat. Ik ben gerustgesteld. ;)
January 2, 2024
It was fine at the beginning to help look at relationships from the different angles and start some objective analysis, but towards the end it feels outdated.
January 6, 2019
Disclosure: I doubted whether to add this book to my Goodreads collection, as the subject could be considered highly personal. However, reading books about relationships, or processes, doesn't necessarily mean that something is.. good... or.. bad... or... even happening. Reading books about zombies: does that make me want to eat human flesh?
Relationships never 'just' exist. Both partners nees to put in sufficient time, attention and effort to make it work, or to keep on making it work. This book can help with that, as it offers practical questions with regards to the status of the relationship. In that regard each relationship can benefit from the book, 'good' or 'bad'.
The book itself is nicely set up, although some parts get a bit repetitive over time. I have the feeling that some paragraphs here and there could be edited out, without sacrificing the message or style. But that's highly personal...
Something else personal: I found the Dutch translation mediocre at best. Sentences weren't fluent, and at times I wanted to grab the original English version.
All in all, I would (still) recommend this book as 'discussion starter' for partners in any state of their relationship. Similar to feelings, the truth can never be wrong...
September 20, 2022
My biggest take away was learning what love is. As cliche as it is, it’s not something I could definitively articulate. But Kirchenbaum laid the foundations for me.
That is, love is a feeling based on reality. The problem arises when people are ambivalent about their relationship. Should I stay or should I go? One another reason people struggle with their decision is that they still love their partner. And that’s where emotions take over.
While you may have fallen in love with you partner when you first started dating, that is most likely because in reality, they were loving, respectful, had similar values and goals, etc. Your feelings of love were based on real gestures and acts of love.
However, over time, your partner may have grown too comfortable, showed their true colours, stopped showing you how much they love you. Loving them now does not make sense. You are in love with how they were in the past not the present. Your love for them is a feeling based on your perceived reality, which is giving you a false sense of love.
That is, love is a feeling based on reality. The problem arises when people are ambivalent about their relationship. Should I stay or should I go? One another reason people struggle with their decision is that they still love their partner. And that’s where emotions take over.
While you may have fallen in love with you partner when you first started dating, that is most likely because in reality, they were loving, respectful, had similar values and goals, etc. Your feelings of love were based on real gestures and acts of love.
However, over time, your partner may have grown too comfortable, showed their true colours, stopped showing you how much they love you. Loving them now does not make sense. You are in love with how they were in the past not the present. Your love for them is a feeling based on your perceived reality, which is giving you a false sense of love.
January 12, 2020
This book was great. I really enjoyed learning about factors of intimate interpersonal relationships that make a relationship to good to leave, or too bad to stay in. I was only reading it out of curiosity as I am not in a relationship that I am ambivalent about however it was fascinating applying some of the concepts to past relationships and understanding behaviours and differing perspectives that could could be deal breakers. I would recommend strongly to those questioning their relationship but also to those who are interested in improving their role in their current relationship.
August 19, 2023
For better or for worse I found this book and started reading it. It's a really good "workbook" to use in couples therapy since it provides 36 main questions to ask yourself if you should stay or leave a relationship. Also, it offers guidance in answering the questions so that you can start making a diagnosis analysis on the relationship you and your partner are in.
It may not give you a straight answer, but it has some really important key points to take into consideration so it's really great.
It may not give you a straight answer, but it has some really important key points to take into consideration so it's really great.
September 21, 2022
Ha, well, “too good to leave” was my pretty clear answer after reading this book. It helped to put into words some very real feelings and issues my partner and I have, though. I also saw some of my own bad behavior reflected in the chapters, and hope that if my husband read the book he would come away with the same answer!! All in all I found it to be eminently pragmatic, far more than most relationship books I’ve read over the years, which I found helpful.
January 16, 2023
If you don't have any concerns or issues in your relationship then this isn't the book for you. If you have relationship ambivalence and don't know whether to stay in it or not, then this is the book for you. I have rated on the latter category as I think it could be very helpful to those people.
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