What I Carry

by Jennifer Longo

For readers of Robin Benway's Far From the Tree, a powerful and heartwarming look at a teen girl about to age out of the foster care system.

Growing up in foster care, Muir has lived in many houses. And if she's learned one thing, it is to Pack. Light.
Carry only what fits in a suitcase.
Toothbrush? Yes.
Socks? Yes.
Emotional attachment to friends? foster families? a boyfriend? Nope!
There's no room for any additional baggage.
Muir has just one year left before she ages out of the system. One year before she's free. One year to avoid anything--or anyone--that could get in her way.

Then she meets Francine. And Kira. And Sean.

And everything changes.

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance, Fiction, Realistic Fiction, Audiobook, Coming Of Age

336 pages, Library Binding

First published January 21, 2020

About the author

Winner of the 2021 Washington State Book award and 2022 Iowa All Reads Book Award, Jennifer Longo’s WHAT I CARRY (Penguin Random House "A NOVEL OF NUANCE AND HUMANITY” - Kirkus, Starred) published Januray 2020. Her debut novel SIX FEET OVER IT ("SUPERB" - Kirkus, Starred) published 2014 by Penguin Random House. UP TO THIS POINTE ("SAVVY...VIVIDLY CONVEYED" The Bulletin, Starred) published 2016 by Penguin Random House. A California native, Jennifer holds a Master of Fine Arts degree in Writing For Theatre from Humboldt State University. She is a two-time Irene Ryan Best Actor award recipient and a Kennedy Center American College Theatre Festival Best Full Length Script honoree for her play, FROZEN. Jennifer lives with her family on an island near Seattle.

Reviews

[Susan's Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, HEARTWARMING STORY!


I love this author's attitude, her philosophy of life, her sense of humour, and most importantly, her writing style. This gifted writer had me hooked from page one: it was very difficult to put this book down. Her lyrical writing draws you in and makes makes you part of the action.



I loved being out on the island with Muiriel, hiking with her and her middle school troop of day-trippers, baring her soul to her new bestie, Kira, and falling in love with the all-around, most decent and lovable guy on earth, Sean!



I highly recommend this story about the emotional and mental odyssey of a young foster child who is about to age out of the foster care system. Not all foster children are in care because of bad behaviour or poor life choices. Too many foster children are unfairly treated with suspicion or ostracized because of these misconceptions.



Everyone should read this wonderful book: it is not just for young adults. Do yourself a favour and order your own copy. I took this with me up north to a friend's cottage and I fell in love with this young character whose namesake, John Muir, dedicated his life to creating and preserving some of America's most memorable wilderness trails. Really well done! An 8 out of 5 for sure!

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG, I LOVED this book!! What a delight. Wonderful and quirky—full of small moments in a coffee shop with raspberry jam and toast, and a dog you just want to cuddle up with. Plus awesome friend relationships! Muir, short for Muiriel, has spent her entire life in foster care. It’s been a rough road. She’s got her case worker, who she’s close to, and over the years has learned getting attached to anyone is a dangerous thing. Now at seventeen, she’s going to her last placement before she’ll age out of the system and be left on her own with no support. She goes to Francine in a tiny island community. She’s to be Francine’s last foster child, too. But when Muir starts making friends, and she and Francine develop a bond, things don’t go as planned. But Muir can’t allow them to get close. That only ends in ruin.

This was a wonderful tale, full of warm friendships, a mother/daughter bond that sneaks up on you in the best way, a great dog(!), and a close-knit island community that just makes you want to visit. The author really knows how to convey emotional moments in tiny bits of story, from stolen bits of nothing treasure scattered in tiny forgotten flashbacks throughout the narrative, to watching the Bachelor with a cinnamon roll dog curled in your lap. I loved it from start to finish.

[Stephanie Fitzgerald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Setting: Modern-day Washington State
Opening Line-“You will never, in all your life, meet a person who packs a better suitcase than I do, and I’ll tell you right now, the secret is not organization-it is simplification.”
This is the wisdom of a seventeen-year-old girl, who has been in the foster care system her entire life. Muriel learned very early on that having too many possessions and allowing herself to get attached to people only leads to heartbreak. She has perfected the art of being ready to leave on a moment’s notice. Sometimes, when Muriel has felt that she is becoming too dependent on anyone but herself, she has instigated the call to her social worker to change homes. Her theory of life is, if something doesn’t fit in her suitcase, she doesn’t need it or want it. This reality has kept her going strong for almost eighteen years, the age at which she will no longer be a foster kid. And Muriel is very wary of her future, because she knows she will have to face it all alone, in spite of the fact that her last placement has actually been a positive experience with new friends and a loving foster mother. After all, family, friends, and dreams of becoming a forest ranger don’t fit into her simplified suitcase...
A wonderful story, that has everything I love about a Y.A. book (with the exception of some foul language). I was able to overlook that one factor and still give this five stars, because it is such a beautifully written book. It even had some historical fiction about Japanese internment camps of WW2, which is my favorite period of history to read about.
I would recommend this for Y.A. readers and older.
Memorable Quotes:
(Pg.313)-“The coast redwood, Sequoia sempervirens, may grow up to three hundred feet eighty feet tall, so you might assume its root system would be as deep as it is tall. In truth, the redwood’s roots are very shallow, which leaves them vulnerable. Alone, a sequoia may not survive to maturity. But together in thick groves, their roots spread and intertwine, even fuse together, giving them strength to withstand the forces of nature. Together they thrive in swift winds and floods, and grow taller than they ever could alone.”

[sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you had told me, when I was about 30 pages into this book, that I was going to end up only giving it 2 stars, I probably wouldn’t have believed you. It started strong, got a little meh toward the middle, and then got so tangled up in its own preachiness at the end, that I was physically rolling my eyes.

Also, with the exception of the main character, everyone was either perfect and amazing, or completely, one-dimensionally terrible. The terrible ones were almost caricatures. And the good characters could literally do no wrong. C’mon, give them a LITTLE nuance.

[Book]

I do not usually cry when I read books. I get misty...occasionally...but crying? Not so much. So it's saying a whole hell of a lot that when I finished this book I was sobbing. I love Muiriel. Love Francine. Love Sean and Kira and Terry Johnson. And the writing is the kind that makes you want to be a better writer. Hands down the best book I've read in 2019.

[Leah Johnson]

An astounding exploration of found family

I don’t have enough words to describe how much this book means to me. All I’ll say is that if you want to oscillate between tears and laughter every other chapter (and sometimes on the same page) fall in love with a place and the people in it, and think deeply about what and who makes us into the people we become, then read this book. Seriously. Don’t wait. Stop reading this review and go get it. Right now.

[Kayla Minter · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one started out pretty strong but the more I read, the more I found that I didn't like. I was really intrigued by the character's perspective as a child in the foster system who is about to age out. Her unique point of view seemed promising and I was ready to learn about her experience.

First, Natan's character felt more like a caricature. He was ridiculous and not even remotely realistic. It would have been different if he was there for comedic purposes but that was not the case.

Then came all of the political opinions of the author, not so subtly incorporated into the teen character's thoughts and dialogue. It may have worked if it had felt more genuine but it often felt preachy and opportunistic. I didn't expect to come across phrases like "Classic White Person Line" (yes, capitalized) or that a lady is being "peak white" at someone's expense. If the story calls for pointing out bias and/or racism, that is one thing, but when it feels like characters were created solely to play out certain stereotypes, it comes across as transparent and lazy. Give the characters some kind of dimension, not just one note idiots who are there to say stupid things.

My last, and biggest issue, is a personal one. If the author is an atheist, fine, but don't inject your own bias and unintelligent commentary about Jesus. To say a song is about Jesus and "his insatiable need for gifts" is not just offensive, it is a gross mischaracterization.

[Melissa Colby · Rating 1 out of 5]

The title should be “ A Journey in Misrepresentation and Random Bouts of White Guilt.” The idea of this book is great. Girl in foster care, about to age-out, struggling with a lifetime of different homes. I’m reality, it is an incompetent writer’s disjointed rantings about white guilt and feminism. You’re never quite sure where the main character acquired these feeling. Basically her interests and ideas are disjointed from her past. Just because she is given a book by John Muir, she is obsessed with the wilderness even though she’s never been? Not feeling it. Her whole life is awful and then she goes to an island where she immediately finds a friend, boyfriend, and foster mom who just so totally get her and can never say the wrong thing. Everything that pops out of their mouths is just so right! So amazingly right. The characters are flat and unbelievable. Zola happens to be on the island too?!? How wonderful! Come on. Write me a real book and avoid packing it with PC monologues to check the boxes for a bestseller and award winner. It’s poorly written.

[tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

reread Nov. 2020: this was just as good the first time and definitely helped with my reading slump 💞 (also pls ignore my review below, march me was a completely different person lmao)

-

I LOVED THIS BOOK SO MUCH! it was a big bundle of Feelings, Powerful Relationships, and! Character!Growth! which i absolutely adored. pls just do me a favor and read it. 🥺

-the main character, Muir, had a really awesome personality and her character growth was SO well written!!
-the backstory was included in flashbacks throughout the novel by explaining the different things inside Muir's suitcase, and I LOVED THAT CONCEPT!!
-FRIENDSHIPS: Kira is SO AMAZING. OH MY GOD. i loved her and Muir's friendship with her was so precious!
-the romance was actually adorable
-there were amazing themes included that belonging, family, bullying, friendship and so much more!!

overall, i really loved this book and would recommend it to practically anyone!!

★★★★★ 5 STARS

[Sophie "Beware Of The Reader" · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to thank Sam @weliveandbreathebooks https://www.weliveandbreathebooks.com/ for that read. I swear I won’t visit her site anymore as she makes me but so many books! This one has such a gorgeous cover that I even bought the physical copy!

 

Once again, Sam was spot on!

 

This story is very emotional but in a smart way. The author never overdid anything no, the emotions come from Muir’s story self, all that she’s been going through as a kid.

Muir or Muiriel is a foster kid from her birth. She’s never known her mom and in her seventeen, nearly eighteen’s years of foster she’s been in twenty houses. Twenty! Can you imagine?

That’s why the story’s opening is on her packing light. She’s been so used to move that she does not want to carry anything unnecessary or …nearly.

Nearly, because she is carrying some small treasures collected throughout her whole life in a pillow case. Going through this cheap loot, we’ll go back to some memories, some instants of her life that made her who she is now and will explain why Muir is so adamant in being self-sufficient.

She’s been abandoned or rejected so many times that the only constant in her life, her social worker Joellen aside, is her.

““It’s a lucky thing none of them got their hands on you,” Joellen said. “You’re too good for them. This is your medal for bravery and patience. You will always have me, and I know your true family is out there, still,” she said. “They’re waiting for you.”

She didn’t know that by then I had long since found mine; I was my own true family. I could never leave. I would always take care of myself. I was all I ever needed. I knew I could never be alone, because I was enough.”

That quote really embodies who Muir became.

 

If you had been let down so many times, your hopes shattered again and again, would you still want to form bonds? Would you still want to find a family and risk being rejected again?

Because you were wounded? Because you were not enough?

I don’t think so. Better to anticipate and expect for the worse. Don’t rely on anyone else because when foster kids age out of the system, they are left completely alone.

In one instant, they don’t have any support anymore.

 

I loved that Muir was named after John Muir, a Scottish naturalist and really after all the US national parks. She identified completely with that naturalist and when she landed on a small island, across the Pudget Sound, she’ll find a job at Salishwood Environmental Education Center. This was truly Muir’s place. Among the trees, in the wilderness and teaching the small kids she so loved.

I learned tons of things about John Muir and this reminded me of my visit in Yosemite National Park.

 

This new beginning for Muir will be a pivotal moment in her life.

Determined not to have friends, she’ll let fierce Kira barrel in her life to have the best friendship ever. The one that made Muir fight for someone else rather than fade in the backdrop.

And when cute Sean, passionate with nature and son of two rangers showed a deep interest in Muir’s life, how could she keep her distance and be true to her “be on my own” motto?

Sean was just the perfect YA hero. Cute, polite, smart, respectful. He knew his own mind and was never deterred by Muir’s seemingly cold shoulder.

Add to the mix her new, nearly retired foster mother Francine and you have a trio of people who will root for Muir and show her that no, not everyone is leaving, even if you make a mistake. You don’t have to be perfect all the time for people to love you.

 

This story was filled with emotions. With friendship. With love. With angst too. And it truly read itself. I didn’t want to put it down.

Thank you Sam for recommending this story as I know that I’ll be looking for Jennifer Longo’s other books!

 
Do you think you have similar books to recommend?
Thanks for reading!

 
Sophie

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[Alyssa Gil · Rating 2 out of 5]

Another book I had high hopes for, another disappointment.

I want to be clear before I begin this review- I can see how this book could be amazing for some people. I can see how it could be life-changing, even. It just wasn't for me.

My biggest issue with this book is that nothing much happens. Obviously I wasn't expecting a thrill ride, but there's really not much of a plot going on here at all. Most stories have a shape, hills and valleys, highs and lows and a climax. This story felt like a straight line. I never felt like there were high stakes. It was clear that I was supposed to feel like there were high stakes, but I didn't. I knew exactly how the book was going to end; that's not necessarily bad, but there should at least be somewhat of a feeling of risk or threat that things won't turn out how they're supposed to. I never felt that there was anything serious at stake or at risk.

My other big issue is the characters. Nearly all of them feel like stereotypical cardboard cutouts. There's the cliche mean girls, the tough tattooed "edgy" girl, the sweet male love interest who has precisely zero flaws. The romance was really cute, but there were no real problems between them. And Sean, while cute, was way too perfect and unrealistic. Nearly everyone felt one-dimensional and boring.

And to expand on the characters...I took huge issue with the way the "mean girls" in this book were written. Listen, I know that mean girls exist. I know that they can play a role in a story when done well. But in this case, they just felt like a tired and overused trope that added little to no value to the plot (what little plot there was). But my biggest problem was the way Muir villainized them for things other than their crappy personalities. Hate them for being mean and awful bullies- that's fine. But Muir kept mentioning their clothes and the way they spoke every chance she got. She criticized them for their "uniform" of "Black leggings. White sneakers. T-shirt, tank top...Tasteless signifiers of mediocrity." I guess wearing normal clothes makes you a horrible person? Oh, and Muir is a hypocrite too, because she constantly makes fun of their leggings/yoga pants, yet it's specifically mentioned that she herself is wearing leggings in at least one scene. She also criticizes their "upspeak," which again has nothing to do with their horrible personalities. I just kept getting an "I'm better and cooler and more interesting than other girls" vibe from Muir, which I really wish we could officially move past.

I know I've bashed this book so far, but it's not horrible. It's very sweet and touching and heartwarming at times, and I learned a lot about a world I have nearly no experience with, the world of foster care and adoption. I also liked and felt for Muir, aside from her girl-on-girl hate. She was an interesting character from the beginning and my heart hurt for her. The ending, while completely expected, was satisfying and sweet. But overall, I needed a lot more from this book- better characters and a more engaging plot, specifically.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars - a beautiful story of nature. A story of friendship and finding it where you least expect it. Foster care is a subject that isn’t talked about enough in juvenile fiction. And I love the characters in What I Carry.

[Morgan Rae · Rating 3 out of 5]

*2.5

Started off strong and then completely fell apart. I love and appreciate many aspects of this book. Talking about the Japanese-American internment, the appreciation for nature, the healthy and cute romance. The sections talking about items she has from past foster homes broke my heart and are probably my favorite parts in the book. Sadly, the issues outweigh the good bits for me.

This book comes across as preachy. The characters felt one-dimensional, except the main character. I especially hated how the “mean girl” characters were portrayed since they almost don’t even see them as human. While the author tried to make her friend Kira more complex, I didn’t think it worked. And Natan never felt real. Yes, I hated him since he is very easy to hate, but he is an embodiment of every sexist thing a guy can say or do. Although, maybe he is kinda realistic. Haha. Maybe I’m wrong.

I hope to find another book about someone in foster care that has a stronger plot. I just wish this book felt more based in reality.

To leave this on a happier note, I thank the author for writing a book about growing up in foster care. That representation is essential. :)

[gabrielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Muiriel is a seventeen-year-old girl who has spent her entire life in the foster care system. She learned early on that growing attached to something, whether possessions or people, only leads to heartbreak. Since then, she’s lived her life according to the motto that if something can’t fit in her suitcase, she doesn’t need or want it. This sentiment has motivated Muir to take meticulous care with her life choices. Staying out of trouble, maintaining good grades, always taking care of herself – all of it to keep her file in tip top shape and give her a fighting chance when she ages out of the system.

As Muir once again goes through the process of switching houses, she makes a deal with her social worker: one last placement for one last year. A whole year in one place makes it possible to form attachments, to become reliant on others, and as her last placement shapes up to be a positive experience, Muir finds herself doing just that. But as her eighteenth birthday nears, she also finds herself just as determined to maintain her solitary life. After all, there’s no room for a family or friends in her suitcase.

This didn’t end of being the type of story I was expecting when I picked this book up, and it’s also very far from the typical story one gets when foster care is involved, but that made me enjoy it more. Not all foster children are in care because of bad behavior or poor life choices. Too many foster children are treated unfairly or ostracized because of these misconceptions. A lot of these preconceived notions are tackled within this book. I was curious what motivated the author to write this and was very happy when the author’s note gave insight to her inspiration.

Overall, this is a heart-warming tale of a young girl allowing herself to love and be loved in return. It’s entertaining and quirky, full of warm friendships, cute romance, an unexpected mother-daughter bond, a hilarious dog, and a close-knit island community. The author skillfully conveys emotional moments in tiny bits of story, and I loved experiencing the flashbacks that fleshed out Muir’s character and inspired the title. I kept expecting the climax to occur when Muir undoubtedly self-sabotaged all the important relationships and endeavors in her life, but this never occurred, and it made me adore the story even more.

[Devin Willson · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book is honestly really beautiful. it's toast, friendships, brokenness, healing, nature, forests, strength, rawness, bats, and it's really... a journey?

the characters were deep and interesting and compelling and i am Living for Muir and Kira's friendship and Francine is such a queen <3. also can we talk about Terry Johnson? because <333
it's aesthetic is on point, stories set on islands? yes please
it's really powerful, shining lights in areas that don't get explored that often in fiction in a raw and honest way.

my only complaints can all be boiled down to "i get maybe this is realistic, but was it necessary ?" in regards to content mainly (more swearing/romance than i generally like in books?)

on a scale of one to ten tho, this book is toast, which is a high compliment, because i love toast

[Ren (A Bookish Balance) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3/5 stars

What I Carry follows a 17-year-old high school senior named Muiriel who is soon aging out of foster care. She makes an active effort not to form attachments to her foster families and often moves houses, but during her last year she tries committing to one home.

I have a lot of mixed feelings about What I Carry. On the one hand foster care and/or adoption stories are stories that consistently have a strong emotional impact on me and I find the insight gained from them invaluable, and What I Carry was no exception to this. On the other hand all other aspects of the novel fell short for me. To start, I think this novel’s biggest weakness is in its writing. The author tries too hard to write from a teenage narrative, to the point where it feels forced. And while I appreciate that Longo attempts to tackle other important topics such as racism, and more specifically internment camps, I think had those topics been discussed with more nuance it would have left a stronger impact. The fact that Muir was always playing hero to the only two characters of colour also rubbed me the wrong way. I do appreciate the amount of research that went into the foster care aspects of this novel though, and when the book focuses on foster care I thought the novel was at its strongest. Muir’s flashbacks in particular were quite impactful. My one complaint in that regard though is that it would have also been more compelling to know more about what happens to some of the kids who do age out, as opposed to vaguely alluding to it.

In regards to characters, Muir was an interesting character to follow, and I could sympathize with what she was going through. I like that initially she was more subdued, but over time began to be more expressive, that gradual shift in demeanour was a great reflection of her character growth. I did find her attachment to John Muir a bit annoying at times though, and her arguments with Sean about conservation vs preservation felt more like trying to side the reader with preservation than actually providing concrete arguments to both sides. Speaking of Muir and Sean, I thought the relationship between the two lacked chemistry and that made it difficult for me to be truly invested in their relationship. I was always much more interested in scenes Muir shared with Kira or Francine as I thought those relationships felt a lot more genuine. The understanding between the women was clear and they all really respected each other which provided a solid foundation for their friendships. Muir’s interactions with Natan were really gross, and as the repercussions of her assault were minimally discussed, it left me with the feeling that Longo was trying to cram in as many social injustices into this novel as possible. The bullying narrative was probably the worst element of the story though, and seemed to only serve as a way to push certain characters into making certain decisions. That the bullies became irrelevant afterwards came across to me as sloppy storytelling.

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[Jude (NovelReader13) · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a refreshing take on the portrayal of foster care. If you read the Author's Note in the back of the book, you see that Jennifer Longo did her research. And let me tell you, it shows.

- Longo does away with popular prejudices about foster kids, the system, and the people involved in it, while also addressing some of the problems in the system
- no demon foster kids
- no jaded, overworked, couldn't-care-less social worker
- no Mr. & Mrs. Satan McEvil foster parents
- no unncessary drama
- straight-up facts about the foster care system, kids's experiences in it, and the ageing out process

There's so much more to love about this book though:
- lots of nature appreciation
- character descriptions consistenly include skin colour, not just for POC, but white characters
- Longo isn't afraid to address numerous issues direclty, be they political, social, racial, cultural, gender-based or other
- balanced relationships (e.g. Muir and Kira keep helping each other figure stuff out)
- a dog named Terry Johnson
- a romantic relationship that I didn't feel was unnecessary (I know, whaaat?!)
- a kid just trying to do her best
- no secrets or misunderstandings creating needless drama
- did I mention the dog named Terry Johnson?

If any of that sounds enticing and you're in the mood for some YA contemporary, I highly recommend picking this one up!


Content warnings:
- foster care and ageing out
- child abandonment
- bullying
- racism
- misogyny
- mention of Japanese internment camps

[Rereader · Rating 2 out of 5]

2022 January Buzzword Challenge
Prompt: read a book that has "what" in the title.

This book was so, so disappointing. Books, especially YA, dealing with foster care and the foster care system are sooooo rare and I was soooo stoked to read a book tackling this issue. And funnily enough, the foster care aspects were the only redeeming qualities about it. Everything else was garbage.

Something that frustrates me about books dealing with sensitive/important topics is that anyone outside of the main characters have little to no nuance and/or are cardboard-cutouts of characters. This novel is no exception, but to an obnoxiously unrealistic extreme. If you're a decent person, you're amazingly perfect, wonderful, and might as well be God's gift to mankind. If you're a bad person or even slightly antagonistic, you're a horrible caricature of evil and meanness. Muir was the only person with any nuance and possessing more than one personality trait, but that doesn't stop her from also being a judgmental asshole and #notlikeothergirls. Although the only reason why she's #notlikeothergirls is because she's nice to people in general, so take with that as you will. Oh, and Natan? He's exactly what every psuedo-feminist thinks men are like and is so outrageously unrealistic in his speech and thoughts on women that I could not take him seriously. Yes, I hated him and he was a creep, but he was so over-the-top evil in his misogyny it was impossible to see him as a person. I swear, Saturday Morning Cartoon villains had more depth and nuance them him, Tiana, and Katrina. Speaking of them...

I was not prepared for the amount of girl hating/shaming that was present in this book, but boy was it there and infuriating. Folks, little piece of advice: if you're only way to make a girl unlikable is to make her a stereotypical "mean girl," either rework the character or don't put her in your work at all. The mean girl trope is beyond overdone, incredibly insulting, and does not make for an interesting antagonist/villain. Oh, pro tip #2: if the only way for your female protagonist to combat the mean girls is to be just as petty and judgmental to them as they are to her, go back to the drawing board because that shit is WEAK. Seriously, Muir is just as judgmental and rude to them as they are to her, but it's okay cuz she's the main protagonist and is a "good person"? Spoiler alert--NO, IT'S NOT. Writers, stop writing this shit. It's 20-fucking-22, this shit's not acceptable anymore and hasn't been acceptable ever, so KNOCK THIS SHIT OFF.

I could write more, but I'm honestly too exhausted. This started of so strong and was dealing with am underrepresented topic, but all the other bullshit ruined it. 2 stars for the topic, read it for that but that's about it. Thank you for coming to my rage-fueled Ted Talk.

[Hannah · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book. Foster care is near and dear to my heart, and I truly tried. The story started off really strong and then… it just stopped. Flat, practically perfect, one dimensional characters who have zero flaws. The story didn’t really have anywhere to go, there was no pivotal moment or crucial goal that needed to be achieved. Part of a good story is knowing the aim? What is this story moving toward? Everything seemed so “the stars aligned” new home, dream job, perfect best friend, perfect boyfriend, perfect foster mom. Where was the struggle? A good plot needs struggle. Another issue I found is the main character had very strong opinions, but never really explains how she came to hold them. That’s important to me. If the character is going to go on a paragraphs long tangent there should be a reason. It felt very detached and essentially like the author needed a journal to dump all of her white guilt and feminist ramblings into, but wrote a book instead.

[Jennie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very interesting book about a girl who has been in foster care her entire life. Abandoned at birth at the John Muir Hospital, she has to struggle her whole life to fit in and to be accepted. Muiriel, known as Muir, goes to her last foster home since she is almost 18 and at that point she will age out of the program. Her last home is on an island and she makes friends, gets a job, has a pet, and has a very loving foster mother.

[nimika · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book made me go 🥺🥺🥺 in the best way possible

[Dee Dee G · Rating 5 out of 5]

All the feels. I really enjoyed reading this.

[Samantha (WLABB) · Rating 5 out of 5]

One more year. Muir just had to keep her head down for one more year, and then, freedom. What Muir wasn't planning on was being placed with Francine, or meeting Kira, or finding Sean. Attachments were never part of the plan, and now she must decide what her next steps will be.



Seriously! My heart just kept exploding, over and over, as I read this beautiful book. And, then when I read Longo's note at the end of the book, I was a hot mess of happy tears. I believe you should just read this book so you can feel all the feels, but I am going to share some other reasons why I loved it so much.

1. John Muir - You may have noticed the interesting spelling of Muiriel's name. The spelling is a nod to the naturalist, John Muir. Muiriel was very dedicated to John Muir's teachings, and cited him often when explaining her own beliefs and lifestyle choices. I loved the way Longo wove Muir into this story. It was fascinating and enlightening.

2. Environmental Ethics - One of the things that Sean and Muiriel bonded over was their shared love of the environment. However, they had different idols, with very different philosophies. I enjoyed the arguments they got into, and loved how they challenged the established record and ideas of each naturalist. Between their discussions and getting to spend time at the wilderness camp, I learned a lot of new things.

3. The Foster Care System - Longo is personally acquainted with the foster care system having served as a foster parent, and included a lot of information about the system in this story. It was also easy to see, that she considered being a foster parent a special privilege, and it shows in this story. Her thoughts come through in the most wonderful ways via Francine, Muir's foster mother, while we learn a lot of the stigmas associated with being a foster child from Muir.

4. Found Family - I am trash for found family, and Muir lucked into a stupendous bunch of people. I already mentioned how Sean and Muir was tailor-made for each other, and how Francine was simply one of the best people ever! Then, there was Kira, who would become Muir's "person". I loved them all so much, and wait until you learn how Kira and Francine are linked. It's top-notch hankie sort of stuff. I found myself rooting for these three to break Muir, because I wanted her hard shell to crack. I wanted her to let people love her, to let people in, and I believed these were the right people for her.

5. Terry Johnson - Terry Johnson was Francine's dog, and I fell in love with him. First of all, he was always address by his full name, which never failed to make me smile. He also was a great source of joy for so many, especially Muir, and obviously, I fell in love with him too.

6. The Things She Carried - Muir had a bag of items she ferried from placement to placement. Many of the items were small, and represented significant memories. Throughout the story, Muir digs these items out of the bag, and flashes back on the memory it holds. These were very telling moments, and many cracked my heart in half. I thought it was a fantastic way to help me, the reader, connect with and understand Muir on a deeper level.

This was one of those books, which I feel I cannot fully explain my love for. All I know is that it made me so, so happy, and filled me with all sorts of joy. It was a such a beautiful story, and I just want everyone to experience it.

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[Lindsi (Do You Dog-ear?) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an ARC as a gift. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Any quotes I use are from an unpublished copy and may not reflect the finished product.

What I Carry was a brilliant, fantastic read! I am so happy and thankful my #otspsecretsister gifted it to me! Before receiving it in one of my boxes, I wasn't aware this book even existed, which is a tragedy, since it was absolutely perfect for me. I'm a fan of John Muir and his accomplishments, so all the snippets and quotes from his life and his works were an added bonus. They were gems that weren't hidden, but there for the entire world to find and enjoy.

Muir and Muiriel made this story what it is, and the belief that you should do what you can to help those who can't help themselves. In Muir's case, trees (and nature in general) are defenseless and should be preserved. Muiriel was preparing herself to age out of the system, so she tried not to get attached to other people or places. She stopped caring about being adopted, but she still looked after the other foster kids that she shared homes with. Muiriel didn't keep in touch afterwards (with the exception of Zola), but she did what she could while she was there.

Adults have the power to really screw with a child's perception of the world and themselves, and some automatically assume foster kids are "trouble" or that they did something to get placed in foster care. A child does nothing to end up in foster care. The fact that they're there is partly due to a flawed system, and the blame should be solely placed on the adults in their lives. Adults have failed them in one way or another (either by family members and/or the government), and they shouldn't be blamed for being upset about it their circumstances. They have every right to feel angry, hurt, and betrayed.There's nothing wrong with them, they just don't have a cookie cutter family.

Jennifer Longo said she wrote this book because her daughter asked her to. Her daughter said she wanted a story that was realistic based on her experiences, and that not everyone was molested or abused in foster care. Sometimes, it just sucks. I think the author's personal experiences mixed with her daughter's really made this book something uniquely original. Muiriel's story will be something others can relate to, while also being informational for those with no experience with the subject matter.

I really loved the secondary characters! Francine, Joellen, Kira, Zola, Sean - - it was an amazing group of people that I thoroughly enjoyed reading about. The author manages to squeeze in other important topics throughout the book, and I never felt like she was beating me over the head with the information. Everything flowed from one thing to the next, and I took my time getting to the end.

There's a subtle romance in the book between Sean and Muiriel, but the book focuses on Muiriel and how her experiences in foster care have shaped who she is today. She doesn't want to let herself love or care too deeply, because she's afraid of what that would mean for her future. The plan has always been to get out and make it on her own. Somehow. However, she can't keep herself from caring about the new people in her life that seem to need her just as much as she needs them.

Natan was despicable. Tiana and Katrina were incredibly frustrating. Racist white people and just dumb adults in general made me want to throw things - - but this was all intentional. The author paints a realistic picture of what it's like growing up in foster care, and how broken the system can be. There are good people, like Joellen and Francine, that do what they can to make it better, but there are so many kids... it's impossible to make sure they all end up in a nice home with nice people.

When I finally caught on to why the book was titled the way it was, it added an entirely new layer to my experience with this story. It was well-written, exceptionally realistic, and beautifully rendered.

I could honestly go on and on about how much I loved this book and its characters, and I could probably keep typing about how well the author addressed certain issues, but I'll leave it at this: What I Carry was an amazing, thought-provoking read that I plan on reading again and again. There's something for everyone! Great characters, friendships, a subtle romance with a genuinely good guy, awesome parents and adults, and people fighting for what they believe in. You have characters overcoming obstacles and learning about themselves, school bullies and judgmental educators. It was practically perfect in every way.

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[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Four things:

1. I just finished this book and I’m ready to flip back to page one and give it another go. Right now. I’m just not ready to leave these characters yet.
2. Recently I’ve been falling in love with secondary characters that are especially enchanting. Francine had me from the beginning. I want a Francine, relentlessly showing up for me, in my life. ♥️
3. Yes, it’s YA, but written in such a thoughtful, authentic voice. And although it was so damn wholesome, it didn’t feel immature or silly in anyway. It felt hopeful.
4. This is my 106th book read this year, and I have given all the stars to only 5 of them. This one is special, folks. Author Jennifer Longo a GEM! Her backlist is calling to me.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm definitely on a roll finding some excellent books. A podcaster was talking about this one and from the emotion in her voice, I knew I had to read it. Because it was released during 2020, it didn't get the attention it so deserves. In the beginning we meet Muriel. She has been in and out of foster care her whole life and is close to aging out. From Muiriel's flashbacks, I learned so much of what goes on behind the scenes in the foster care system. Her story pulled at my heartstrings! This book had some of the sweetest characters that I think I've ever read. If I had to pick a favorite, it would probably be Francine. I love how they all supported, encouraged, and loved Muiriel. I'm not the best at writing reviews, but I hope something I said will encourage you to pick this one up. It will make you laugh, cry, and possibly hug it when you turn the last page.

[Kara DiFilippo Powell · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had expected to be wowed by this book, and I was honestly fairly let down. The concept was intriguing and the characters were interesting (if slightly underdeveloped in my opinion).

The biggest fault I found with this book was that the author simply tried too hard and it showed. In an attempt to be socially unproblematic (a very important goal, don’t get me wrong), a lot of the scenes, thoughts, and quotes ended up feeling really forced and unnatural. It seemed as though the author was trying to portray the protagonists as always perfect and good and the antagonists as always horrible in every aspect of their being. I found it did not feel as though these characters were believable as real people.

However, if you are looking for a quick read, this is a great book. I was able to breeze through it in 2 days even though I was disappointed with it.

[Paula · Rating 3 out of 5]

cute, heartwarming story with characters that are too nice (and I kind of liked that?? the fact that there's not miscommunication or anything super dramatic between them). I liked the setting and the main character's love for the outdoors. I liked learning about the foster care system.

the writing was okay--good at some parts and then questionable at others. like WHY did the author always have to point out the race of every character we met?? and WHY did she have to mention that the mean girls had "terrible upseak" whenever they talked??? it was very unnecessary

also, I just wish other characters were explored more. like we never found out why the mean girls were like that. and I wish we had more info on kira's deal.

[Danyelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

YES: this book was absolutely delightful. What a wonderful wonderful read with great insight into the foster care system, a quirky cast of characters that you want to win from the moment you meet them, a look into Japanese internment in the US...seriously, just so good. Muiriel and Kira and Sean and Francine were such wonderful characters and Terry Johnson is a wonderful dog. I cried, I laughed! So good.

[Monica Haak · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5.
Echt een prachtig boek, maar had nog net een wat dieper dal verwacht. Desalniettemin mega genoten!