If You Lived Here You'd Be Home By Now: Why We Traded the Commuting Life for a Little House on the Prairie

by Christopher Ingraham

Chris Ingraham's THE WORST/BEST PLACE TO LIVE IN AMERICA, an improbable tale of a Washington Post reporter writing a short piece about the so-called (by a government report) worst place to live, Red Lake Falls, Minnesota, which led to a barrage of extremely negative comments and ultimately an invitation from townspeople for him to visit, which led to his falling in love with and then moving his young family to Red Lake Falls, where he's now happily posted as the paper's "heartland" correspondent covering, among other things, "the great divide" between urban and rural America.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Audiobook, Biography, Biography Memoir, Book Club, Family

293 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 10, 2019

About the author

Christopher Ingraham is a reporter for the Washington Post, where he writes about all things data, with a particular interest in gun policy and drug policy. He previously worked at the Brookings Institution and the Pew Research Center.

Reviews

[Mackenzie - PhDiva Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

Candid, humorous, thought-provoking—Christopher Ingraham’s memoir chronicles the article he wrote that ended up changing his life, and what has happened since. I loved this book!

In 2015 Christopher Ingraham was working as a data reporter for the Washington Post and wrote an article ranking of all counties in the U.S. on their aesthetic beauty based on a natural amenities index. Things like the gap between the coldest and hottest average temperatures and access to natural water sources seem like great metrics, but it’s hard to quantify what makes a place great to live.

Ingraham not only reported on some of the most beautiful counties according to this list, but also gave a shout out to the place in dead last, Red Lake Falls, Minnesota calling it “the worst place to live in America” and citing a fun fact about their county being that it is the only landlocked county in the U.S. surrounded by just two adjacent counties. Fun!

The story went viral and tweets poured in. Among the reactions were many from residents of Red Lake County. While they were unflappably polite – it’s not called “Minnesota Nice” for nothing – they challenged him to look beyond the spreadsheet and actually visit their community. Ingraham accepted.

Upon returning to the Baltimore suburb where he and his wife Briana struggled to make ends meet, find enough room for their twin sons, and manage the 3+ hour commute to Washington D. C. for work, Ingraham found himself thinking that life in rural America wasn’t so bad. Impressed by the locals’ warmth, humor and hospitality, Chris and Briana eventually relocated to the town he’d just dragged through the dirt on the Internet.

More than 80% of the U.S. population lives in cities or the surrounding suburbs. And yet, Ingraham remarks and provides data throughout the novel that city life isn’t actually so great, depending on the metric you use. When we look in the 60s and 70s when salaries were growing and resources and jobs were located in cities, the transition of the population to city environments made sense. Now, salaries are pretty stagnant, which means the burden and cost of city life is almost entirely on the people, not the companies who hire them.

Teleworking is an answer to that challenge, according to Ingraham. In the first third of the book, he explores a lot of the challenges of life that he and his wife took as a given—the long commutes, the trouble finding affordable housing, the proximity to neighbors they don’t particularly like or know—as part of life. There’s no better way. After he returned from Red Lake County, all of that changed. He really noticed what in his life was making him miserable. And he also realized there is a solution. His job technically didn’t require him to be in DC, so with approval, they moved.

I found Ingraham’s writing to be filled with humor, interesting facts, and wonderful commentary on the absurd place he found himself, and what he liked about it. Everything isn’t roses—there are a few crises he mentions that genuinely made him worried he made the wrong move—but everything worked out ok. The resource of a community willing to do everything to help far outweighs the access to better resources in other ways in a city.

In fact, the worst part of living in Red Lake County, Minnesota, seems to be the coffee (Minnesotans evidently are proud that they drink it black but that is only because it is mostly water) and the pizza. In fact, the best pizza in the state of Minesota, Ingraham alleges, is DiGiorno, followed distantly by Dominos. I’d love someone from Minnesota to weigh in on this, because that was a fact I found alarming! Pizza is one of the best foods, and the proud Chicagoan in me is horrified!

This book is about how data can never really tell the full story, and how making a leap of faith in your life can turn your preconceptions on their heads and bring you something you never thought possible. I loved this book!

Thank you to Harper Books for my copy. Opinions are my own.

[Jeanette · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's well worth the read. 3.5 stars at least. The only reason I didn't round it up was because some of the chapters read unevenly. They did to me. He's now making his living in writing and can you tell.

So as much as I loved the tale of the move and afterwards, there was some other information within this that while not at all offensive, I thought was too, too. He certainly is not close to being as open-minded as he believes he is.

I sure was cheering his wife on. Briana sounds like she'd be an awesome friend.

Knowing most of Minnesota as well as I do and also hearing oodles about it for over 50 years as my best friend from the time I was 20 years onward was from Hibbing. (Yes, Bobby Zimmerman was in her school class and she couldn't stand him- Bob Dylan as you know him.) She's passed and do I miss her. Every day I do. This book brought many of her long stories and memories back to me. Her Dad was the Butcher Shop owner. Especially the deer gutting etc. as told by Ingraham here. And also the calling other kids to play after 9pm at night as it's light out.

He tried to explain "Minnesota Nice" but he really doesn't "get it" much. Possibly his wife does a bit more. He gets the outside facades of owning it. But he doesn't understand the "us" and "them" or other aspects of it at all. Nor the legacy of a generation or two or three to the exact "knowing" of the natural world they "run" either. It holds a general moral responsibility level assumed to be returned and expanded too. And I've found that "Minnesota Nice" has definitely left the building with the bigger towns and larger cities of that state. I've been manhandled for a dinner box leftover carry in Minneapolis, for instance. It has to do with behavior of actions as much as it does with manners of speech and verbal treatments of welcome or inclusion. But did you notice that the Catholics are excluded? They are and not just for church activities either. He mentioned a crux of differing. That's not the same thing at all. Lutherans rule.

As much as I agreed with him about the food and 90% of this very interesting and informative to his happiness quotient tale (I adored the graphics- they were 5 star)- Christopher is solidly Christopher. You can take the boy out of the East Coast hubris cognition, but you can't take the East Coast hubris cognition out of the boy. As impossible as trying to clear and salt the asphalt or pavement anytime after November in Red Lake Falls. Or trying to ice skate when all the cleared areas are used for hockey endlessly, day and night.

Others have reviewed the background to this book. But it's far more than just a synopsis of their moving reasons and outcomes. It's also pivotal that you get their schooling etc. as he explains them and family distances relativity, IMHO. In the things he states he sees, and understands-he's open, brave and honest. And also because of the things he doesn't, maybe that is also so. A few of the reviewers on this absolutely know what I'm posting about- because I did read the reviews on this one. After I finished the book and before I started this reaction, I read them. As I was curious to how many picked up on the same jibes melding and vibes of interpreting that I did.

Lovely read. So few books nail the essence of kids, parenthood, the spirit of freedom and loose adventures as it is optionally lived and enjoyed. This is NOT freedom from danger or happenstance either, as Ingraham often notes. Living within strong natural world adversity, but also within a majority safe and good intent culture of similar self-identities to "us" in both habits and traditions. Where trust is established and not nearly annihilated every other day. And not only by crime either. Also by language, morality of lawful observance etc. (The chapter on the teens role model for those found cigarettes- was awesome. Yes, we were like that too. Also never heard a swear word until I was on a trucking dock when I was 22.) His chapters on schooling, diversity etc. and especially upon his son's small desired class sizes with nearly "same" levels of attention and interchange from individual teacher to each pupil were excellent. And yet he uses charting and data of diversity in a slant that doesn't include Native Americans in MN. Where he lives now, that floored me. There is HUGE prejudice there. Take my word for it. It's not always the same as the other various "brands" of vast stereotype, either.

Do I think they will stay past grade school level for the twins? Very much doubt it.

And let me tell you. I love cold. I went NORTH to relax in retirement months. But that is TOO COLD for me. You need to truly love inside "stuff". And not cooking either- because half the items you need will only get to you through the mails. I'm still surrounded by folks who say nearly everything over oatmeal pablum is "too spicy". Drives me nuts!

[Claire Reads Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Adding an extra star for sentimental, Upper Midwestern reasons. I grew up in a Wisconsin town of 10,000—so not quite the far-flung prairie outcropping of northwestern Minnesota (Red Lake Falls, pop. 1,404) that Chris Ingraham and his family move to from the Washington, D.C., suburbs—but nearly everything about this memoir reminded me of growing up in rural-ish Midwestern lake country (just swap out the church basement lutefisk for Friday night fish fry). In the broader scheme of things, this book is mostly a trifle—think of it as a slightly more rugged, North American version of ‘The Year of Living Danishly’—but it’s also a delight, and a relatively thoughtful one that mostly resists a rose-colored glasses vision of flyover country. Reading it felt like going home. ❤️

[Elena · Rating 2 out of 5]

Parts of this book were touching, funny, interesting, and so on, but overall I felt like the author jumped around his narrative quite a bit. Earlier chapters have a much stronger sense of place & people than later chapters, and he tries to take on quite a bit when describing, for example, his wife's choice to become a stay-at-home mom and getting mad into local volunteer opportunities; it's hard to shake the perception that he is assuming her POV as a perfunctory response to people who might doubt his insistence that they both decided to make the move, and is projecting thoughts & opinions rather than letting his marriage inhabit the narrative in a less contrived way. Additionally, after the in-depth descriptions of them deciding to move, buying a house, etc., the book settles into a very rote recitation of the charms and drawbacks of country live: corn shocks! Snow! Cold! Minnesotan food is bad! etc. There's nothing new here and the author, if anything, pulls back from a more specific/heartfelt analysis in favor of generalistic "Chicken Soup For the Aspirational Hick Soul" type heartstring-tugging. I wonder if part of this is because he made this move only a couple years ago; the rushed, shallow feeling of the book might reflect its rushed production in reality, too.

And, finally, here are Christopher Ingraham's thoughts on moving his family to a 95% white small town: he worries about it, but it's fine, because politically we're all too divided anyway; more people in northeast Minnesota google slurs than in the prairies; some Trump voters are good people actually; his black friends have never been attacked while visiting them.

OK.

There is a lot to be discussed in the homogeneity of the Upper Midwest, including that it isn't at all "natural" - enforcement of racial covenants and creation of sundown towns, violence against LGBTQ people, and violence against women are just a few reasons why Minneapolis is full of people who (quoted as though this assessment were a charming quirk rather than indicative of deeply held bigotry!) "look craaazy". This is personal to me because I grew up in the sticks in the Southeast, live in Minneapolis now, and may well decamp to a much, much smaller city in 10-15 years, so I admit bias here, but if you're going to write about racism and the effects of raising your three white children in a 95% white town, you should actually write about racism rather than shamefacedly glancing at it and then rapidly pivoting to discuss deer season.

White flight to the suburbs and white gentrification of inner cities are both topics that are intimately related to the depopulation of majority-white small towns - and majority-white small towns are themselves an intimate expression of systemic American racism. There is a lot to discuss there in terms of how these systems of segregation contribute to our current political moment, why folks leave, how racial animus is leveraged by the powerful, the national implementation of the Southern strategy, and - on an individual basis - what a white person's responsibility is when navigating these systems; whether it's morally upright or morally bankrupt to simply leave virulently racist small towns and suburbs to their fates is itself a question worth discussing (and anti-racist white groups such as SURJ do, in fact, discuss it!). But this discussion isn't to be found in this book - not even a shallow facsimile of it can be found. Instead there is a long section about Trump and politics that, aside from a single grain of truth (there are pockets of liberalism literally everywhere), manages to say very little substantive about the politics of Red Lake County, Minnesota, or the United States.

And, finally, I referenced above that one of the ways Ingraham attempts to quantify his community's racism is via a study of internet searches. He seems fairly focused on anti-black racism, referencing an incident in his wife's childhood where her family's home was trashed on the (false) rumor that her parents had married interracially. He references data review that controls for things like slurs in hip-hop songs, and then he says that he never encounters the sort of blatant racism that he encountered in upstate NYC. But Ingraham lives in Red Lake County, within spitting distance of White Earth Reservation. He lives in Northern Minnesota, an area that is peppered with monuments to, and scars from, white America's genocide of Native Americans. Missing & murdered indigenous women (MMIW) is a massive public health crisis and Northern Minnesota is a hotbed of violence against indigenous people. (Example link, Google pulls up many more.) Ingraham brings up his children's black godparents and his own progressive bona fides as a means of justifying his move, or minimizing its potential impact on his children, but he displays profound ignorance about the racism his new community is participatory in. This leads me to conclude that regardless of whether or not it's possible to raise anti-racist white children in a nearly-completely-white environment, Ingraham himself will not be successful: he has been lazy and neglectful in ameliorating his ignorance, and seems primarily concerned with appearance over meaningful justice.

A deeper understanding of the area could have made this aspect of the book better, as well as making the writing more engaging and the memoir more deeply lived. Unfortunately, the slower pace of life Ingraham is so happy to have adopted doesn't seem to apply to publishing.

[Mediaman · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm a Minnesotan & this book is a weak, bland attempt by a D.C. elitist to say "gee whiz" about living in the rural northern part of the state. It doesn't succeed in doing anything but stereotyping all Minnesotans unfairly and telling trite "stories" about hunting, mowing the lawn, driving to the doctor, etc. Eastern metropolitan liberals that think Garrison Keillor represents a true Minnesotan might find it quaint, but to anyone who grew up in the Midwest it's simplistic and boring.

The author works for the Washington Post--which should warn you already of his bias--and his writing is pretty bad. He specializes in data and statistics, which warps the written style. Instead of emotional stories we get dry numbers. After he publishes a story that a northwestern Minnesota county is considered the least beautiful in America he visits it and then moves there. But his move makes no sense.

He tells us that it's because he is tired of the high prices and commuting time to work from Baltimore to D.C. His mother, who lives in Florida, suggests the solution is to move to the place in Minnesota he visited and loved so much. But he knows no one there, there are no relatives within 1500 miles, and his wife has to quit her empowering job to take care of the kids. The best move he could have made, and the most obvious solution, is one never mentioned in the book--move to Florida to be near the grandparents, live in a warm climate near great hospitals for the autistic child, and keep his wife happy with cultural diversity. How this is never considered is a shock for a guy who thinks he's pretty smart.

He half-praises the new life in Minnesota but there are subtle digs throughout. No culture. All white people. Bland food. Too many guns. He doesn't see through much of what is going on and, like so many liberal journalists, only sees the stereotypes. His complaints about lack of diversity and concern about small town education fails to address the fact that Minnesotans always test highest on standardized tests and the Twin Cities rank high in diversity. This statistician didn't even deal with the most basic of facts.

He also groups all Minnesotans as one type, which is shocking. It's a huge state--larger than DC, Baltimore, Philly & NYC combined in land mass. Yet he writes as if all Minnesotans are hunters, fishermen, bobsledders, etc. His rural life is five hours from the major metropolitan area of Minneapolis, which is also five hours from Chicago. As the Twin Cities differ from Chicago or Wisconsin, so can northwestern Minnesota differ from most of the population that resides in the southern part of the state. How can he not see that people that live near the Canadian border are completely different from those in a metro area of three million that also call themselves Minnesotan?

Bottom line the book is just plain boring. It should have been a magazine or newspaper article. Instead it's padded with dull stories about his own family life, overpraise for his wife, bizarre Washington Post ethic rules that he has to follow, and way too many details about everyday tasks that are completely normal to most Americans but seem foreign to a liberal eastern media elitist. While he tries to come across as deeply supportive and happy to be living in the middle of nowhere, what this book really does is say more about his own prejudice and biases than about the people he reports on.

[Debbi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a special place in my heart for memoirs that focus on finding one's true home in the world. This was an enjoyable listen. I loved the small town stories made more interesting with a sprinkle of data. Ingraham provides insight into why small town living can work for even the most cynical city dweller...working from home solves the problem of commuting, there's more family time, lower mortgages, and neighbors who have your back and you can always order delicious food on the internet. Sweet.

[steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

Four years ago Ingraham, a writer for the Washington Post, posted a list about the worst places to live in America and gave a short, three sentence shout out to the town located at the very bottom of the list - Red Lake Falls, Minnesota, population: 1400, weather: cold. Minnesota’s in general were not happy with the list (apparently there were a few towns in Minnesota ranked near to botton) but Red Lake Falls, while not pleased, did something a bit different in their reaction. They invited the author to come visit the town and see its beauty.

(apparently Minnesota-nice really is a thing and not just a running gag I remember from HIMYM)

And Ingraham did just that. He came out, visited, fell in love with the people and town of Red Lake Falls and (burnt out by long commutes, pricy mortgages and childcare costs) ended up moving there with his wife and young sons 6 months later.

This memoir is short, rose colored glasses look at the people and places that make up one of the coldest, more overlooked areas in the country. Did I agree with everything Ingraham wrote or thought? No, not really which is why I gave this 3 stars (I think he was rude in his dismissal of their food preferences and a couple other remarks). But overall it was an interesting look at someone who left big town life for small rural living, something I fantasize about doing every now and then. I am curious at how long he and his wife end up staying there, it seems to work for them now but once his boys hit high school that might change due to the lack of AP’s and other stuff Red Lake Falls high school does not have. Overall this was an good read and one that gave me more appreciate for a flyover state I have never visited. I might visit Minnesota now, just to see all the natural beauty Ingraham talks about.

Just not in the middle of winter (negative 40-70 degrees is real thing apparently. Which to this California girl sounds FRIGHTENING, brrr).

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ingraham's memoir chronicling how his bad judgment in naming a town in Minnesota the "worst place to live in America" in a Washington Post article led to a permanent move for him and his family is delightful. His engaging and candid writing covers the dearth of services in a small town (including the lack of specific medical facilities and restaurants), the cooperation and helpfulness of the local residents (aka "Minnesota-nice"), finding a house to purchase, and yes, how to cope in the Minnesota winters where the temperature can dip to -40 degrees. I loved this from start to finish (even his sections on data and statistics kept my interest), and his "crickets in the bathroom" incident and his wife's response were hysterical.

If you are a fan of Bill Bryon's memoirs about his life and travels, be sure to pick this up when it's released in September 2019.

Thanks to the publisher (HarperCollins) for the advance reading copy.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was going to give this book 5 stars, but then Ingraham insulted tater tot casserole (I'm from Wisconsin; we don't call it hot dish), and now, in good conscience, I cannot do so.

Aside from that, it was a light and fun read about East Coasters moving to the Midwest and how different life is in really rural and the really cold Midwest. I did feel that it ignored many of the issues facing rural communities and just focused on the positive, but perhaps they just didn't really experience any of those negative aspects. I also appreciated the jokes at Wisconsin's expense, and enjoyed it as a light-hearted take on life in the Midwest.

[Kate Belt · Rating 3 out of 5]

It may not be accurate to say that I liked this book, but I found it interesting and am glad I read it. At the same time, I was reading Love Thy Neighbor: A Muslim Doctor's Struggle for Home in Rural America by Ayaz Virji, both set in small, rural towns in Minnesota, but with very different experiences. While Ingraham is waxing poetic about finding the perfect environment to raise his young children, despite his frustration in learning that many of his neighbors voted for Trump, Virji, a physician who expanded medical care in his local community, is being viciously threatened and harassed.

[Deacon Tom (Feeling Better) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incredibly Interesting

A very charming story of a family making a total life change, from the urban rat race to opposite experience in fire in northern Minnesota.

As they encounter the total change, they brought out issues that they’re all of us to deal with in one way or another. In particular, it was the early delivery of a child. In her rural environment, they had time to be there and people were there for them, but in the city, there wasn’t that community.

Very good book that I recommend.

[Kathy (Bermudaonion) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Christopher Ingraham is a data reporter for The Washington Post. When he found project from the USDA that rated the physical characteristics of each county in the US that “enhance the location as a place to live,” he wrote about it and declared Red Lake County, Minnesota “the absolute worst place to live in America.” The people of Red Lake County politely responded, defending their county and inviting Ingraham for a visit. He decided to accept and, shortly thereafter, he and his family moved there.

Even though I prefer living in a larger place, Ingraham had me longing for a small, close-knit community. He and his wife uprooted with an open mind and a desire to become a part of the community and he shares the trials and tribulations they faced with charm and dignity. I enjoyed this book even though I thought it meandered a little too much at one point. Pick it up if you’re looking for a quick, light read that will make you think.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love stories about people who move to places that are very different from what they've known. Since the author of this memoir is also a Washington Post reporter, I had high expectations, and was flummoxed when Ingraham stopped just short of saying something truly meaningful about his experience as a new resident of Red Lake County.

Ingraham talks mainly about all the ways the move to this remote, northern community was fantastic for them, but does not appropriately analyze the ways in which it was challenging or disorienting. And I don't mean the extremely cold temperatures or lack of familiarity with hunting customs, or things that read cute on the page. I mean the hard stuff. He briefly brings up the fact that he's now living in a place that voted overwhelmingly for Trump, and then immediately ducks it and sort of attempts to apologize for his new neighbors. I can only think it's because he doesn't want to antagonize the people he lives near, but it doesn't make for very interesting reading. What does it feel like to move to a place that's completely ideologically different than your own world view? What does it mean to raise your children in that environment, and how do you prevent them from adopting questionable values that might be prevalent in their community? What kind of friendships can you truly create in a place where most people have a fundamentally different outlook than you on humanity, citizenship, and ethics? Is there really any bridging those gaps? These questions go unanswered, and they troubled me for days after finishing this story.

In the end, we have a cute book about a guy who hates the city and gets to move his family to the country. Yay, happy ending! But there is so much more we don't get to learn, and that is why this story does not fully hit the mark.

p.s. Briana Ingraham sounds like a amazing woman. I wanted to know more about her journey. Write your own book, Briana!

[Sandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, I really liked this book. It made me nostalgic for where/how I grew up, and stirred my feelings of wanting to move somewhere more rural (that are never very far from the surface to begin with). I liked how the author worked statistics and datasets into the writing as well, without losing the emotion or engagement.
There were a couple of chapters (his description of his wife’s education/background for example) that I didn’t enjoy, and I felt there was a little something in the author’s personality that I didn’t jibe with. Maybe I just was being too critical, and comparing him to Bill Bryson (his humor and humility aren’t quite at the same level).
Overall, I recommend this book as a quick, engaging read!

[Karin · Rating 5 out of 5]

To be fair, the author is a friend, someone whom I have known since Kindergarten (although it has been years since we actually saw each other). I also know his amazing wife Briana, who is as essential to this story as he is; I admire how she made her own path on their journey.

But even setting aside the personal enjoyment that came from reading my friend's words and recognizing the Chris-ness of the story and the voice, this was a funny, compelling story of family, place, and community. And of the value of stepping back to re-assess both the kind of lives we want to live and how we think and make assumptions about people, places, and ways of life we don't really know.

[Kay Nagel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it! Highly recommend to my Minnesota friends and my friends who grew up in small towns and either left or stayed. Ingraham does a good job describing small town Minnesota life with humor and a bit of sociology thrown in, making me more aware of the benefits of my small town upbringing. My only complaint is the title, which is a tired phrase you read on realtors billboards!

[Samantha Copé · Rating 3 out of 5]

[3.5 rounded down]

Mixed feelings: Loved the personal stories, but disliked the manipulation of data. This guy has a lot of pridefulness and implicit bias (racism and classism) that he seems unaware of and extrapolates data based on personal preferences. For transparency, I am biased against this guy because I’m from Maryland and he speaks negatively about a place I am fond of and have had very different experiences in, and the narrator on the audio book pronounced my city wrong so it seemed inauthentic. I did laugh out loud a few times and ended up recommending it to another friend after it was recommended to me.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was my kind of humor because I was trying to suppress my laughter while at work. (Noise, talking, laughing, coughing, sneezing will get you sideways looks of judgement at my work place.)

I found this funny and interesting. The author relates his unique story of moving from congested city living to setting up house way way out in the country that made the worst place to live list. He is good natured in ribbing people as well as accepting it in return. Definitely a fun read. So 4 stars.

[Annie Mosiman · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice little story about a family who moves to a small town in northern MN from Maryland. This book was a nice, lighthearted read that poked fun at many aspects of living in the Midwest. A little slow at times but i definitely enjoyed it more than if wasn’t familiar with the area the family moved to (my grandparents live close to there)! The most interesting part of this book for me was when stats were provided about how detrimental long commutes can be for your health. Defs made me think twice about where I’m applying to OT jobs!

[Helen Dunn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book because I thought the author’s twitter thread about escaped crickets was super funny.

His story about why he moved his young family from the DC burbs to northern Minnesota is an easy and thought provoking read.

[Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can well imagine the relief of leaving the urban to live in the rural. Watching the author discover the joys of rural living was a treat; it’s like a flower blooming or a plant that was in the wrong place and not thriving being transplanted to the right place and thriving. Marked down for some language and because the narrator kept mispronouncing “Ellicot City”. It sounds more like Ellicut... all run together and not “Elli-COT City”.

Also, I sort of wondered if they were short on space in their apartment in MD because they just had too much stuff. It is easy to buy into the idea that one “has” to have all the baby accoutrements that manufacturers and advertising would lead to you believe is necessary. Then again, I’ve not had twins. I did make it through one whole child without owning a crib.

[Krista · Rating 4 out of 5]

Light, entertaining but nothing big. 3.5 rounded up 😉

[Madeline Heim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Uh oh I’m moving to the country!

[Mary Robinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Memoir of Washington Post reporter who did a story on Red Lake County, Minnesota that included data showing it was “the absolute worst place to live in America.” Then he moved there with his wife and two-year-old twins. What happens next is told with humor and insight. The surprising results are augmented by the reporter’s ability to interpret data and show a bigger picture – and recent studies on where people live and how that influences their happiness.

[Nora · Rating 3 out of 5]

An easy, happy read. 3.5. I liked it, but it portrayed small-town living as a little too "Mayberryish" for me. I like Michael Perry's writing better.

[Madalene · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was so geared up to love this book - to find what I like about the Midwest put down in print as a "hey, the coasts aren't all THAT" expose. However, there are three pretty big flaws in the paintbrush of rural life as the way to go:

1. The ability for the author to maintain his Beltway work and contacts while reaping the benefits of a cheap place to live and friendly neighbors is ENTIRELY supported by his spouse's move to become a stay at home parent and give up her steady and fast-rising federal job. He touches briefly in a couple of chapters on how "this was a more difficult move for Briana" but neither does he change his behavior to pick up more of the work; nor does he acknowledge that much of the enjoyment he is getting out of the move is fully enabled by a parent willing to engage fully in building relationships with the others in their community, full time caregiver of their children, and stepping up further when additional support is needed for one of their children. It makes no sense that in the 21st century he doesn't address any of this at all, other than to say his wife was really smart growing up and therefore sought something bigger for herself by moving away from her rural upbringing. I wish I could read Briana's take on this entire experience, as I suspect it would be far more nuanced.

2. The few magical feeling moments about the beauty of rural community can be summed up: these are people who were nice FIRST, and got to know you afterwards. Indeed, I find that behavior to be common in the Midwest, but it's not a rural thing, it's a specific choice to be nice to those who are strangers and hope that they will return the favor. Realizing this would have been an interesting turn in the book - had this family tried it out themselves back in Maryland, would it have resulted in more of what the author enjoyed so much in Minnesota? Could he have shared data on communities that extend generosity to strangers, instead of assuming it was an automatic with the geography? That would have been much more interesting.

3. As others have said, the author briefly mentions how he can't prove for sure that all the goodwill extended to him and his family weren't in part because they were white and moving to a 90%+ white community. This is a pretty crucial thing to examine - because it means not that rural people in the US are nicer/friendlier, but perhaps that people are nicer/friendlier to those who already fit their culture. An interview with families of other ethnicities who moved to rural communities and what they found would have been a better way to evaluate this.

Sadly, this book reads like a promotion for convincing your employer to keep your salary at a coastal rate, convincing your spouse to give up their career in favor of becoming a stay at home parent, and then creating as much driving distance between you and services as Amazon's list of products allows. Not unlike a pitch for Levittown, in one sense. However, all the good found here can be replicated in one own's community, without reinventing the 1950s family and societal dynamic.

[Lorie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun, insightful, and thought provoking. I enjoyed this book and appreciate the amount of fortitude it took for the author and his wife to make such a move.
I especially enjoyed the chapter that described the Minnesota winters. Oh my...that was so well described that I felt a little chilly reading it from my AZ home. And the bearded dragon cricket incident. That had me laughing.
I’m pretty sure my family will never move to Minnesota, but if we do I know we will be surrounded by a great bunch of people.

[M. Sarki · Rating 4 out of 5]

https://rogueliterarysociety.com/f/if...

...Studies have also consistently shown a link between population density and happiness: the fewer people around you, the more satisfied you are…

I grew up in a small northern Michigan town where the temperatures remained cold and the snow deep enough to continually shovel several months of the year. I delivered the Detroit Free Press on my bicycle seven mornings a week beginning at the age of nine. I was raised a Lutheran.

...Note to self: On Lutheran Standard Time, 4:30 means 4:30 on the dot. If you’re on time, you’re late…

My wife and I raised our family in Louisville, Kentucky. We lived there for thirty-one years. Now we live full-time in a travel trailer and pretty much stay on the move. Our base camp in the Florida panhandle has a population that numbers just over two thousand. Much can be said for small-town living. But it does have its drawbacks. Christopher Ingraham has done an admirable job of showing both sides in telling both an interesting tale as well as remaining factual.

[Derrick R. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read from Christopher Ingraham about the shortcomings of living your life by the data and the increasing disconnect between urban and rural America. This book really validated a lot of the stresses I have experienced lately with living in populated, suburban Orange County and the frequent desire I have to run away from it all on the weekends (often our trips to the desert where there's open space). Why do so many people sacrifice their mental and physical health to live in cities? Why won't more employers let their employees telecommute? I was raised in small town America and while I was often frustrated with the lack of diversity in terms of culture, people, and points of view, I have definitely felt the loneliness of getting "lost in the crowd" in city living. The equilibrium is likely somewhere in-between. This book was a great read about the value of community and had me thinking about how we could bridge that rural/urban gap to make America a close-knit community once again. 4.5/5 stars.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having grown up in a small town in the rival state next door (not nearly as cold, though) and living as an adult in the Maryland suburbs the author fled so willingly, I don't wear the same rose-colored glasses about the glories of country living in rural, homogeneous places. The cold, dark starry nights with no one around and nowhere to go don't fill me with nostalgia. And eek, now as a parent, imagining the McDonald's play place as the only option for indoor fun in the winter, gah.

I also found some interpretations odd for a journalist specializing in data, especially suggesting that because the counties where people are most unhappy are also densely populated, we aren't meant to live close to each other. I would be willing to put a *lot* of money on economic insecurity being much more important in that relationship. But this is a charming memoir and funny in its depiction of those classic Upper Midwest pastimes: deer hunting, ice fishing, and not complaining about the snow.