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All the Ghosts in the Machine: Illusions of Immortality in the Digital Age
Seen any ghosts on your smartphone lately?
As we're compelled to capture, store and share more and more of our personal information, there's something we often forget. All that data doesn't just disappear when our physical bodies shuffle off this mortal coil. If the concept of remaining socially active after you're no longer breathing sounds crazy, you might want to get used to the idea. Digital afterlives are a natural consequence of the information age, a reality that barely anyone has prepared for - and that 'anyone' probably includes you.
In All the Ghosts in the Machine, psychologist Elaine Kasket sounds a clarion call to everyone who's never thought about death in the digital age. When someone's hyperconnected, hyperpersonal digital footprint is transformed into their lasting legacy, she asks, who is helped, who is hurt, and who's in charge? And why is now such a critical moment to take our heads out of the sand?
Weaving together personal, moving true stories and scientific research, All the Ghosts in the Machine takes you on a fascinating tour through the valley of the shadow of digital death. In the process, it will transform how you think about your life and your legacy, in a time when our technologies are tantalising us with fantasies of immortality.
As we're compelled to capture, store and share more and more of our personal information, there's something we often forget. All that data doesn't just disappear when our physical bodies shuffle off this mortal coil. If the concept of remaining socially active after you're no longer breathing sounds crazy, you might want to get used to the idea. Digital afterlives are a natural consequence of the information age, a reality that barely anyone has prepared for - and that 'anyone' probably includes you.
In All the Ghosts in the Machine, psychologist Elaine Kasket sounds a clarion call to everyone who's never thought about death in the digital age. When someone's hyperconnected, hyperpersonal digital footprint is transformed into their lasting legacy, she asks, who is helped, who is hurt, and who's in charge? And why is now such a critical moment to take our heads out of the sand?
Weaving together personal, moving true stories and scientific research, All the Ghosts in the Machine takes you on a fascinating tour through the valley of the shadow of digital death. In the process, it will transform how you think about your life and your legacy, in a time when our technologies are tantalising us with fantasies of immortality.
307 pages, Mass Market Paperback
Published April 25, 2019
24 people are currently reading
388 people want to read
About the author
Elaine Kasket
4 books9 followersElaine Kasket, Psy.D., is a Counselling Psychologist, speaker and writer who has studied the juxtaposition of death and the digital since 2006. She has contributed to multiple stories on this topic in TV, radio, print and online media, to include pieces for the BBC, Radio 4, Channel 4 News, the Canadian Broadcasting Company, and Psychology Today. All the Ghosts in the Machine is her first book for general audiences, following a decade of more academic writing on the subject. Originally from the U.S., Elaine now lives with her family in London, where she produces the Mortified stage show, acts as the Bereavement Lead for the Digital Legacy Association, and maintains a busy psychotherapy practice.
Order Elaine's latest book here!
Order Elaine's latest book here!
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
December 15, 2019
I hope to write a full review of this at some point, but for now I'll say this was fascinating, informative and (sadly) very, very relatable. This book covers many topics from the law surrounding digital legacies to the very human psychology of grief. I lost a very close friend earlier in the year. In the last few years our friendship had been almost entirely digital (first while I was abroad and then we lived opposite sides of the country). It's been tough (understatement) to get my head around the fact she's gone while still being able to scroll through my messages and see her name there. So I can relate to the experiences of many of the people Kasket interviewed. Fantastic book!
May 4, 2019
I came to this book from the world of palliative care. I was interested in digital legacies of how people and their families choose to be remembered - and what that might mean for the people we support. It was a professional interest that intersected with a personal one.
What I’ve taken from All the Ghosts in the Machine though is so much more. It’s made me think about how I live my life now, the choices that I make for myself and for others - including others that haven’t even been conceived yet.
I am a digital immigrant. Despite embracing social networking sites over the last decade, recently I’ve been feeling less and less comfortable about sharing my life online. My husband and I have started moving towards living experiences rather than documenting them and leaving the digital world out of it. That’s our personal choice. I wonder if we’re the last generation to think like this?
This book has a lot of the familiar about it. The stories are relatable even if you’ve never heard or considered them. Elaine’s storytelling style introduces complex topics while at the same time creating investment in people’s lives, adding context to a situation to allow you to really understand the ideas she’s exploring. It’s thought provoking, engaging and touching.
Some of the situations and concepts explored are shocking and, for want of a better word, horrifying. Through reading, I’ve been motivated to further examine my digital artifacts and think about what I’d like me digital legacy to be. It’s also challenged a lot of my assumptions and I’ve made some changes as a result.
Above all though, it’s reinforced my professional views. That everything we do during dying, death and bereavement needs to be personal. What suits one person or family won’t suit another. As the number of memorialised profiles on sites like Facebook start to outweigh the living ones, as is a very real future scenario, we need to ensure people are aware of their choices around both privacy and legacy. A policy, a process or even a law won’t necessarily fix that. Perhaps though, talking about it, communicating, having a conversation with loved ones about what you’d want, and advance planning, might.
I highly recommend it and I hope everyone reads it!
What I’ve taken from All the Ghosts in the Machine though is so much more. It’s made me think about how I live my life now, the choices that I make for myself and for others - including others that haven’t even been conceived yet.
I am a digital immigrant. Despite embracing social networking sites over the last decade, recently I’ve been feeling less and less comfortable about sharing my life online. My husband and I have started moving towards living experiences rather than documenting them and leaving the digital world out of it. That’s our personal choice. I wonder if we’re the last generation to think like this?
This book has a lot of the familiar about it. The stories are relatable even if you’ve never heard or considered them. Elaine’s storytelling style introduces complex topics while at the same time creating investment in people’s lives, adding context to a situation to allow you to really understand the ideas she’s exploring. It’s thought provoking, engaging and touching.
Some of the situations and concepts explored are shocking and, for want of a better word, horrifying. Through reading, I’ve been motivated to further examine my digital artifacts and think about what I’d like me digital legacy to be. It’s also challenged a lot of my assumptions and I’ve made some changes as a result.
Above all though, it’s reinforced my professional views. That everything we do during dying, death and bereavement needs to be personal. What suits one person or family won’t suit another. As the number of memorialised profiles on sites like Facebook start to outweigh the living ones, as is a very real future scenario, we need to ensure people are aware of their choices around both privacy and legacy. A policy, a process or even a law won’t necessarily fix that. Perhaps though, talking about it, communicating, having a conversation with loved ones about what you’d want, and advance planning, might.
I highly recommend it and I hope everyone reads it!
July 15, 2019
Everyday multiple pictures of my recently deceased dog appear in my Facebook feed, as he was such a big part of our lives since before I even signed up for FB. Sometimes I think FB is evil for this, and sometimes I think it’s beautiful. How would you feel to see someone you’ve lost appear like a ghost with your morning coffee? Have you thought about it? Elaine Kasket has written a terrific book on the subject. I never thought about what would happen to my “digital assets,” as she calls them after I die, I’ll bet you haven’t either. Elaine makes a compelling case for why we should. Full of examples of horrors and unintended consequences in the digital age it forces us to face our own mortality and strongly consider getting our affairs, both online and off together, if we care at all about those we would leave behind. Why should you read a book about death? Because it’s about life and therein lies the paradox.
January 28, 2021
Interesting book! Made me reflect on my digital footprint - whether carrying on expanding my searches on Google or even continuing using Goodreads ahaha
Elaine Kasket explored different stories of experiencing grief and dealing with the deceased's online presence. I was especially intrigued and impressed by the 'I Love Alaska' project based on a leaked search result of an anonymous user.
After I have read this book, I have appointed my brother as my Legacy Contact on Facebook, did some thinking about my digital will - what I wanted to do with social media and files on my laptop. Still haven't reached a conclusion tho...
In the final chapter, Kasket gave ten tips including: read the websites' T&Cs, think about the others (how they would feel about your decisions about dealing with your data, be proud of your curated digital content/data. Most importantly live your best life, cherish and value the good and bad things that you experienced.
Elaine Kasket explored different stories of experiencing grief and dealing with the deceased's online presence. I was especially intrigued and impressed by the 'I Love Alaska' project based on a leaked search result of an anonymous user.
After I have read this book, I have appointed my brother as my Legacy Contact on Facebook, did some thinking about my digital will - what I wanted to do with social media and files on my laptop. Still haven't reached a conclusion tho...
In the final chapter, Kasket gave ten tips including: read the websites' T&Cs, think about the others (how they would feel about your decisions about dealing with your data, be proud of your curated digital content/data. Most importantly live your best life, cherish and value the good and bad things that you experienced.
May 13, 2020
I have long been interested in how death is mediated online. Occasional stories crop up about receiving Facebook ‘Year in Reviews’ with the images of dead friends, or more challenging tales about trying to access digital data from deceased loved ones. Quite simply the complexities of our digital afterlives are poorly understood. Labyrinths of information, layers of passwords, and a host of legal contradictions regarding ownership, jurisdiction, and user agreements. I have previously toyed with this in the way my kids created an online pet cemetery in Minecraft.
One thing is for sure, even the most disinterested and lightest of users of digital technology will have a sizeable digital footprint. This digital footprint is something that people may well want to exercise some form of control over. Yet very few are prepared to do so. This is the context in which Elaine Kasket writes, leading the reader to consider a host of issues that are problematic, emotionally compelling, and unavoidable.
Consider the following issues, who will inherit your iTunes library once you die? It might be simple to pass on physical books, but who has the right to your digital texts? How would you manage the social media feeds of a recently deceased spouse, or child? What privacy would the dead expect, and what level of control would others demand? This all gets more complex when we consider that the information (or data) that is posted online tends to have mixed ownership. Photos of friends might well relate ownership not just to who is in them, but who took the photo. Private messages are also a legacy of communication between at least two people and thus cannot simply be rendered to a third party after death. Or can they?
Much of this book deals with a variety of interesting case studies that introduce us to the problems many have faced in dealing with a digital legacy. As the book progresses we turn more towards the provisions, strategies, and businesses that are emerging to tackle digital life beyond death, or ‘death tech’. Some of this tackles themes from pop-culture films and television like the Black Mirror episode ‘Be Right Back’.
The book closes with ten helpful suggestions regarding the management of your own digital legacy. Each of these points is fleshed out earlier in the text in considerable detail, but are turned toward the reader in conclusion. One of Kasket’s messages is to think seriously about what you might want preserved. What digital content represents you, what content would you like your legacy to be?
All this made me think of my Tumblr blog. This is perhaps the greatest resource of ideas and interests that I place online. Less personal than my old Facebook profile, which I eventually deleted, but far more a product of my own creativity than much of my other social media. Even Instagram has become mediated more by who follows me than what I really want to post… My academic work also orients to a particular perspective and tone, so while my publications are a legacy they are a peer reviewed legacy. Tumblr is however a voice that I simply don’t get to use in other social media, even if I refrain from posting some of the quirkier side of my interests and personality. Even more curious is the fact that just a year ago Tumblr was pronounced dead after the platform scrubbed all the porn off. Yet, many have stubbornly persisted with their blogs and perhaps Tumblr is due for a renaissance. However powerful and monolithic Facebook and Twitter may be, there are no guarantees they or any other social media will stick around. They are built to be archives. Indeed Tumblr provides a curious intersection with digital life after death. Blogs live on, and the dead are also easily able to post in their absence with the queue function. Even more permanent, and likely to outlive an electromagnetic pulse, is the printed Tumblr, blog, or social media feed. Years ago a friend signed up to a now defunct service which would compile all your Tumblr posts and print them as a book. There are now other such services.
So we are in a rather profound moment. At one level I am likely to back-up hardcopies of letters and old photos by scanning them, but now I am also considering making hard copies of some of my favourite digital creations. This, as Kasket adeptly shows us, is just the tip of the iceberg.
One thing is for sure, even the most disinterested and lightest of users of digital technology will have a sizeable digital footprint. This digital footprint is something that people may well want to exercise some form of control over. Yet very few are prepared to do so. This is the context in which Elaine Kasket writes, leading the reader to consider a host of issues that are problematic, emotionally compelling, and unavoidable.
Consider the following issues, who will inherit your iTunes library once you die? It might be simple to pass on physical books, but who has the right to your digital texts? How would you manage the social media feeds of a recently deceased spouse, or child? What privacy would the dead expect, and what level of control would others demand? This all gets more complex when we consider that the information (or data) that is posted online tends to have mixed ownership. Photos of friends might well relate ownership not just to who is in them, but who took the photo. Private messages are also a legacy of communication between at least two people and thus cannot simply be rendered to a third party after death. Or can they?
Much of this book deals with a variety of interesting case studies that introduce us to the problems many have faced in dealing with a digital legacy. As the book progresses we turn more towards the provisions, strategies, and businesses that are emerging to tackle digital life beyond death, or ‘death tech’. Some of this tackles themes from pop-culture films and television like the Black Mirror episode ‘Be Right Back’.
The book closes with ten helpful suggestions regarding the management of your own digital legacy. Each of these points is fleshed out earlier in the text in considerable detail, but are turned toward the reader in conclusion. One of Kasket’s messages is to think seriously about what you might want preserved. What digital content represents you, what content would you like your legacy to be?
All this made me think of my Tumblr blog. This is perhaps the greatest resource of ideas and interests that I place online. Less personal than my old Facebook profile, which I eventually deleted, but far more a product of my own creativity than much of my other social media. Even Instagram has become mediated more by who follows me than what I really want to post… My academic work also orients to a particular perspective and tone, so while my publications are a legacy they are a peer reviewed legacy. Tumblr is however a voice that I simply don’t get to use in other social media, even if I refrain from posting some of the quirkier side of my interests and personality. Even more curious is the fact that just a year ago Tumblr was pronounced dead after the platform scrubbed all the porn off. Yet, many have stubbornly persisted with their blogs and perhaps Tumblr is due for a renaissance. However powerful and monolithic Facebook and Twitter may be, there are no guarantees they or any other social media will stick around. They are built to be archives. Indeed Tumblr provides a curious intersection with digital life after death. Blogs live on, and the dead are also easily able to post in their absence with the queue function. Even more permanent, and likely to outlive an electromagnetic pulse, is the printed Tumblr, blog, or social media feed. Years ago a friend signed up to a now defunct service which would compile all your Tumblr posts and print them as a book. There are now other such services.
So we are in a rather profound moment. At one level I am likely to back-up hardcopies of letters and old photos by scanning them, but now I am also considering making hard copies of some of my favourite digital creations. This, as Kasket adeptly shows us, is just the tip of the iceberg.
April 14, 2019
A book about death filled with life. This practical guide to digital afterlives is full of personal stories that perfectly illustrate the importance of digital memories. Each thought provoking chapter gets you running to check the settings on your social media platforms. Interwoven with touching snippets of the author’s personal story, an insightful and enjoyable read.
August 21, 2020
在数字时代面对死亡的十条建议
尘归尘，土归土。我没有眼泪，但当时我感觉到喉咙好像
被什么哽住了。这是我第一次参加葬礼，在那之前我只在电影
或歌词中听到过“尘归尘”这句话。我还记得主日学校教的一
个创世故事，故事讲的是上帝拾起一把泥土，用他那神圣的、
赋予生命的气息将它变成了第一个人类。也许《创世记》离我
们并不遥远，科学家也曾说过，我们都是由来自天体的碎屑组
成的。眼泪模糊了我的视线。想到我那性格复杂、坚强、有天
赋的外祖母只是一团星尘，她身上的人性火花已经熄灭，她的
独特之处正在融入大地，那种感觉是多么奇怪啊！最终，天鹅
墓碑将成为她独特之处的象征，但它立在地面之上。在地下，
她现在和她的邻居没有什么不同，正被慢慢地分解成难以分辨
的原子。
我知道有一天伟大的上帝也会来拜访我，我的身体将化为
尘土，就像我的外祖母一样。然而，与她不同的是，我会有意
地留下一些数字尘埃，提醒人们我在这几十年里在网络上做了
哪些事情。除非你是一个远离网络的厌恶技术的隐士，否则你
也会这么做。你的数字尘埃会在以太中飘浮一段时间，不需要
上帝把它收集起来，赋予它一种生命力。任何能上网的人都能
做到这一点，尽管他们寻找的东西不同，可能是现实生活的火
花，也可能是其他东西发出的微光。那些在生活中认识你的人
可能会寻求安慰、回忆、答案和一种连接感。你的后代，在好
奇心和创造个人意义的动机驱使下，可能会在探索自己来自哪
里、来自谁的过程中发现你。完全陌生的人可能会从你为这个
世界所做的贡献中学到东西，或者在你的生活中找到灵感。罪
犯可能会把自己隐藏在你死后依然存在的数字身份中，出于邪
恶的目的来冒充你。这一切对你而言意味着什么？你该怎么
做？
作为一名心理学家，我会和我的客户一起探索问题，帮助
他们找到自己的答案。我习惯让人们自己得出结论，给出建议
或过多指导的做法有点违反职业准则。另外，我花了10多年的
时间谈论和思考数字时代的死亡，如果说在这段时间里我没有
形成任何观点，那就是在撒谎。我的观点会受到我的个人环境
和历史的影响，你的观点必然是不同的。在本书这段旅程的末
尾，为了体现它的价值，我将提出10条一般性原则。你可以把
它们当作我们这个时代的一套生死戒律，帮助你建设性地面对
数字尘埃现实的十诫。也可以仅仅对它们进行一番深入的思
考。
一
直面死亡焦虑。你可能很难面对你的身体最终会死亡这个
事实，这是可以理解的。死亡是一个巨大的谜，是最终的失
控，是你所熟知的有意识存在物的不可思议的消失。你可能倾
向于回避那些让你焦虑的事情，但回避后焦虑并不会消失，还
会进一步加剧。深呼吸，正视你的有限，你会发现你可以将这
种意识转化为优势，为更清醒的生活服务。偶尔提醒自己，每
次使用联网设备时，你可能会在最终的数字纪念碑上再加一块
砖，在自传中写下能比你存在更久的一段话。如果你不仅把数
字活动看作是生活的一部分，还视为遗产的一部分，那么你可
能会做出更明智的决定。如果你明天就死了，你会对留下的一
切感到满足吗？你会对那些在以太中盘旋的文字，对那些在你
的数字影像中徘徊的形象感到高兴吗？如果不会，那么你想在
网上和线下做些什么不同的事情？（免费书享分更多搜索@雅
书.）
二
经常评估，不要假设。无论你是在为自己的数字遗产做规
划，还是在管理别人的遗产，这条规则都适用。请记住，前数
字时代正确的规则，可能不适用，而且往往确实不适用于数字
时代。对于所有对你重要的在线账户，寻找那些解释在你死后
会如何处理你的数据的条款和条件。如果你找不到，打电话询
问——也许现在你提出这个问题，今后企业就会做出一些改
变。找一些教授公众有关数字遗产知识的在线组织，从他们那
里获得相关的知识和建议。如果你选择的是遗嘱认证专家，那
就试着找一个非常了解数字资产的人。
三
设身处地地为别人着想。第一，如果你登录、管理或主动
操作一名逝者的手机、社交媒体、博客、消息应用程序或电子
邮件账户，你必须意识到，这些账户的任何活动都可能导
致“从坟墓中传出声音”的现象。学术研究和逸事证据都表
明，这可能会让他人感到惊惧，产生负面影响。你还将访问与
健在者相关的数据，这些数据肯定会引起他们的关注，仔细想
想，这些数据可能也会引起你的关注。第二，也许你不关心你
死后会发生什么，所以不关心自己的数字遗产。也许你想在咽
下最后一口气后消除你的在线存在，那是你的特权。不过，在
你做任何决定之前，还是从别人的角度来考虑一下。如果你深
爱的人在网上有很多照片、视频和其他纪念资料，而这些东西
在他们死后都消失了，你会介意吗？如果你能真正理解这一
点，你可能会猛然觉得不必非得删除自己的数字遗产。然而，
你只能想象到这些，而且你可能对别人的感受做出了错误的假
设（这就引出了第四条规则）。
四
谈论死亡和数字化。尽可能地谈论它，因为它是一个理智
的、有趣的话题，但不要把它抽象化，而要有意义地应用到你
自己的生活中。和你爱的人谈谈你对自己的数字资料的感觉，
谈谈你对数字时代隐私和数据所有权的看法，谈谈当你离开人
世之后，你希望你的数据被如何处理，问问他们对自己的数字
信息的想法和偏好。如果你的朋友说他想在死后删除自己所有
的社交媒体信息，而你认为失去这些资料会让你心碎，那么把
你的想法告诉他，同时也试着理解他为什么会这么想（如果他
坚持自己的观点，那么想一想如何把对你来说珍贵的东西保存
下来）。如果对你来说，把你的Facebook页面更换成纪念状态
或把博客继续保留下去很重要，那就把你的想法告诉你的近
亲，否则他们可能不知道。如果你不确定自己是怎么想的，那
么和别人讨论一下，这通常会让你的立场变得更加清晰。
此外，不要只探讨社交领域。如果你有一份工作，想想你
的工作场所。你的雇主是否控制或处理员工、委托方、用户和
客户的数据？如果与这些数据相关的人死亡，这些信息对其他
人来说，是否具有实用价值、经济价值或情感价值？对于如何
处理逝者的数据，你所在的组织是否有明确的政策和程序？他
们是否就如何与失去亲人的个体互动提供清晰的指导和培训？
所有这些问题的答案可能都是否定的，因为我们在这方面还有
很长的路要走。大胆地说出你的想法，引领变革的发生。
五
立一份数字时代的遗嘱。首先，逆潮流而动，立一份遗
嘱。然后，进一步打破惯例，明确地记录下你希望如何处理自
己留下的数字存储资料。具有讽刺意味的是，这份彻头彻尾的
现代遗嘱可能需要写在纸上，签字，并由官方见证。并不是所
有的司法管辖区都接受以数字化方式生成和存储的遗嘱，所以
了解一下你所在地区的法律。即使在你生活的地方，数字化
的“东西”在法律上是不可执行的，但明确你想要什么也没有
坏处。例如，“我想让我母亲用我遗产中的钱继续支付我博客
的费用”，或者“我想让我的Facebook个人资料转变成纪念状
态”。如果你没有明确的方向，你的亲人和管理你数据的公司
都会推测你想要怎么做，而且可能会相互争论。也许他们做的
刚好符合你的想法，也许他们会弄错。
对于允许你这样做的账户，请指定一个数字执行人（例如
Facebook上的遗产联系人和谷歌上的闲置账号管理员），确保
你首先与该人讨论过这个问题。同样，这在你居住的地方可能
还没有法律依据，但这样做总比完全不表明你的愿望要好得
多。在你的正式遗嘱中把这些内容再说一遍。但是，请记住，
你不能将不属于你的东西遗赠给他人，而且在一个账户对应一
个用户的情况下，你可能不被允许将账户的控制权或对其内容
的访问权转让给另一个人。经常检查条款和条件，怀有合理的
期望。
六
开发一个能让某个可信任的人访问的主密码系统。密码保
护你的设备、账户和应用程序，对于保护你生活中的数据安全
和隐私是绝对必要的，企业鼓励我们定期或在账号被入侵时更
换密码。对于那些需要在你死后处理你的财产或获取个人纪念
资料的人来说，这些非常明智的保护措施可能会成为一场噩
梦。因为我们的密码往往是多样且可变的，所以为遗产或遗产
规划而制作一份不断更新的密码表格是不切实际的。如果你使
用一个完善的在线密码库或在设置的时候允许你的手机记住密
码，那么你就可以在一个安全的地方（遗嘱中、保险箱里的密
封信封中、律师或其他信任的人）记录和更新服务或手机的主
密码。如果你的手机有生物识别密码，你甚至可以给你的律师
或另一个信任的人指纹访问的权限。
不过，有几点需要注意。首先，如果有人允许你在他们死
亡或紧急情况下访问他们的设备和账户，那么不要利用他们的
信任窥探他们的生活。为了维护你们之间的关系，你必须清楚
在什么情况下可以访问对方的私人数据。其次，请记住，如果
条款和条件规定将在原账户持有人确认死亡后删除其账户、将
账户更改成纪念状态或进行其他类型的登录锁定，那么账户密
码将有一个适用期限。最后，如果你的数字资料里有一些秘
密，你怀疑这会给你在乎的人带来困惑、背叛感或更多的痛
苦，那么不要轻易给这些人全部的访问权限。如果你不愿意在
活着的时候承认和处理任何暗藏的秘密，你可能想要疯狂地删
除这些内容，让密码随你而去，或者在你无法再守护秘密的时
候确保通往秘密的大门是紧闭的。在某些情况下（包括你无法
收拾残局的情况），这可以让你爱的人在不知情的情况下过着
幸福的生活。
七
做一个不道歉的策展人。“策划”你的网络形象的行为往
往不受人待见，我们会联想到人们故意夸大他们所享受的兴
奋、幸福和成功，并炫耀他们被粉饰过的生活，引发其他人的
不安全感和嫉妒。不过，从遗产的角度来看，策展工作还有很
多可以探讨之处。我指的并不是对困难事物的审查。对你和其
他人来说，披露不幸和美好都是非常合适的行为。我指的是，
你可以选择如何管理好你的遗产。
图像
想象一下，你得到了一个存有很多照片的笔记本电脑或其
他存储设备。当然，由于数码摄影和手机摄像的普及，这是很
多人将会面对的情况。你会看到成千上万张图片。除了这些图
片外，可能还有成千上万种其他类型的文件（文档、电子邮
件、文本消息等），其中大多数都没有任何上下文或注释来表
明其是否有意义，或是否重要。许多失去亲人的人惊讶地发
现，他们所爱之人的数字遗产如此庞杂且看不出差异，以至于
他们只见树木，不见森林，于是他们避免与这些遗物接触。如
今，如果一位热心的系谱学家发现他曾祖父的爷爷的一张照
片，他可能会欣喜若狂。因为在那个年代，照片非常罕见。如
果能将所有的数字存储数据在未来的几个世纪里保留下来并保
持可访问的状态，那么那些业余的“家谱学家”将会发现，这
个曾经颇具挑战性的爱好，变得如同瓮中捉鳖一般无趣。
在我们精心策划的社交媒体平台上，我们是有选择性的。
我们展示那些对我们最重要的东西、最感动我们的东西，或者
那些我们想被别人看到的东西。不像你电脑上的海量文件，也
不像在线搜索你名字的结果，社交媒体个人资料提供了背景、
时间轴和叙述，因此，人们更容易将其代谢、识别，甚至可能
把它当成是“你”。是的，这些资料对你进行了大量编辑，甚
至可能以一种扭曲的方式反映了你的样子。但出于记忆和遗产
的目的，如果你的个人资料选择性地强调最快乐的时光、最激
动人心的经历，以及你看起来特别迷人的时刻，那会怎么样
呢？无论你是在用数字自传追忆晚年，还是你所爱的人或子孙
后代通过它来回忆或探索你，玫瑰色的自传也许并不是一件坏
事。
八
获得更多并不总是意味着感觉更好。在悲伤中，人们常常
会“寻找”失去的亲人，并贪婪地搜寻任何与他们有关的东
西。特别是在亲人离奇死亡的情况下（意外死亡或创伤性死
亡，或自杀、他杀、神秘死亡），人们可以通过梳理逝者留下
的数据，不懈地寻求答案、安慰和解决办法。我相信在某些情
况下，浏览私人信件是有帮助的。然而，搜索者经常会遇到令
人沮丧的含混不清的材料、引发痛苦的材料，或者只会激起更
多不确定性的材料。逝去的人无法回答这些令人不安的问题，
无法解决含混不清的问题，无法提供重要的背景，也无法道
歉、解决问题或抚平创伤。这是信息时代的一个方面，悲伤可
能会令人特别痛苦。当你深入研究已故亲人的数字数据时，你
可能会打开一件珍贵的礼物或一个潘多拉盒子。你无法预知盒
子里到底会是什么，所以要小心。
九
做一个保守派。古埃及的纸莎草卷轴还在我们身边，但几
十年、几百年后，我们以数字形式存储的信息可能已经不存
在、无法访问或无法阅读了，更不用说几千年了。我们不确定
这些资料到底能保存多久。然而，我们比较肯定的是，纸张和
其他记载材料可能容易受到自然因素的影响，但它们不会成为
技术过时的牺牲品。即使你相信，你的数字尘埃会存在很长一
段时间，即使你已经确保其他人能够访问它，但事情还是会发
生变化。技术会以不可预测的方式发展和淘汰。考虑到这一
点，时而选择性地将数字资料转变为实体资料是值得的。把你
最喜欢的或者有纪念意义的照片制作成相册；打印出你最喜欢
的电子信件；把你在网上写的一段文字抄写到一个漂亮的笔记
本上，放在实体书架上。
如果你从来没有做过这些事情，不要感到绝望。和以前的
人一样，你能够与所爱的人、与祖先相连接，数字世界并没有
摧毁你的这种能力。照片和信件让我想起了我的外祖父母，当
我看到、触摸或使用某枚戒指、缝纫盒里的一个旧纽扣，或一
张折了角、发黄的食谱卡，上面写着巧克力曲奇的制作说明
时，这些记忆也可能会冒出来。在与认识他们的人一起回忆的
过程中，这些记忆被加深和扩展。我将他们的故事铭记于心，
并传递给下一代。有些东西看上去改变了，实际上却并未改
变。
十
忘记不朽。我们中的一小部分人，像达·芬奇、莎士比
亚、巴赫或霍金一样，为艺术、文学、音乐或科学做出了贡
献，并将在好几个世纪里享有盛名。然而，对我们大多数人来
说，我们生活中的数字和物质遗产，主要只对那些了解我们、
爱我们的人，对这一代人和下一代人来说非常重要。知道了这
一点，就专注地过你想要的生活，做你所重视的事情。经常自
问：如果没有人因为我做这件事而记住我，如果做这件事永远
不会为我带来财富或持久的名声，那么这件事仍然值得做吗？
对于我或某个人来说，是否还是一件好事？
永生幻想也许源于对死亡和默默无闻的恐惧；也许与自我
膨胀的感觉有关；也许是因为你渴望在一生中取得一些成就，
希望尽可能长久地改变世界。为什么不呢？无论永生是为了什
么，它都是一场失败的战斗，你在战斗的时候可能会错过什
么？想尽一切办法捕捉、记录和分享你生活中有意义的事情。
我相信，我的女儿和她的后代会喜欢我多年来在社交媒体上精
心记下的她的童年。通过这些努力，我（和她）的数字尘埃很
可能会给未来的几代人带来一些快乐、兴趣，甚至是灵感，而
且我为自己投入时间和精力慢慢积累起这些数字尘埃感到高
兴。但是，从重要性和长远影响来看，在我为她投入的时间和
精力面前，数字尘埃将相形见绌。
因此，最后一条规则的本质是：尽你所能，过最好、最有
价值的生活。好好去爱，活在当下，感恩此刻。成为世界上一
股向善的力量。把你自己奉献给这一切，留下一份你可以为之
自豪的遗产，无论它是什么形式，无论它能存在多久，都顺其
自然。
尘归尘，土归土。我没有眼泪，但当时我感觉到喉咙好像
被什么哽住了。这是我第一次参加葬礼，在那之前我只在电影
或歌词中听到过“尘归尘”这句话。我还记得主日学校教的一
个创世故事，故事讲的是上帝拾起一把泥土，用他那神圣的、
赋予生命的气息将它变成了第一个人类。也许《创世记》离我
们并不遥远，科学家也曾说过，我们都是由来自天体的碎屑组
成的。眼泪模糊了我的视线。想到我那性格复杂、坚强、有天
赋的外祖母只是一团星尘，她身上的人性火花已经熄灭，她的
独特之处正在融入大地，那种感觉是多么奇怪啊！最终，天鹅
墓碑将成为她独特之处的象征，但它立在地面之上。在地下，
她现在和她的邻居没有什么不同，正被慢慢地分解成难以分辨
的原子。
我知道有一天伟大的上帝也会来拜访我，我的身体将化为
尘土，就像我的外祖母一样。然而，与她不同的是，我会有意
地留下一些数字尘埃，提醒人们我在这几十年里在网络上做了
哪些事情。除非你是一个远离网络的厌恶技术的隐士，否则你
也会这么做。你的数字尘埃会在以太中飘浮一段时间，不需要
上帝把它收集起来，赋予它一种生命力。任何能上网的人都能
做到这一点，尽管他们寻找的东西不同，可能是现实生活的火
花，也可能是其他东西发出的微光。那些在生活中认识你的人
可能会寻求安慰、回忆、答案和一种连接感。你的后代，在好
奇心和创造个人意义的动机驱使下，可能会在探索自己来自哪
里、来自谁的过程中发现你。完全陌生的人可能会从你为这个
世界所做的贡献中学到东西，或者在你的生活中找到灵感。罪
犯可能会把自己隐藏在你死后依然存在的数字身份中，出于邪
恶的目的来冒充你。这一切对你而言意味着什么？你该怎么
做？
作为一名心理学家，我会和我的客户一起探索问题，帮助
他们找到自己的答案。我习惯让人们自己得出结论，给出建议
或过多指导的做法有点违反职业准则。另外，我花了10多年的
时间谈论和思考数字时代的死亡，如果说在这段时间里我没有
形成任何观点，那就是在撒谎。我的观点会受到我的个人环境
和历史的影响，你的观点必然是不同的。在本书这段旅程的末
尾，为了体现它的价值，我将提出10条一般性原则。你可以把
它们当作我们这个时代的一套生死戒律，帮助你建设性地面对
数字尘埃现实的十诫。也可以仅仅对它们进行一番深入的思
考。
一
直面死亡焦虑。你可能很难面对你的身体最终会死亡这个
事实，这是可以理解的。死亡是一个巨大的谜，是最终的失
控，是你所熟知的有意识存在物的不可思议的消失。你可能倾
向于回避那些让你焦虑的事情，但回避后焦虑并不会消失，还
会进一步加剧。深呼吸，正视你的有限，你会发现你可以将这
种意识转化为优势，为更清醒的生活服务。偶尔提醒自己，每
次使用联网设备时，你可能会在最终的数字纪念碑上再加一块
砖，在自传中写下能比你存在更久的一段话。如果你不仅把数
字活动看作是生活的一部分，还视为遗产的一部分，那么你可
能会做出更明智的决定。如果你明天就死了，你会对留下的一
切感到满足吗？你会对那些在以太中盘旋的文字，对那些在你
的数字影像中徘徊的形象感到高兴吗？如果不会，那么你想在
网上和线下做些什么不同的事情？（免费书享分更多搜索@雅
书.）
二
经常评估，不要假设。无论你是在为自己的数字遗产做规
划，还是在管理别人的遗产，这条规则都适用。请记住，前数
字时代正确的规则，可能不适用，而且往往确实不适用于数字
时代。对于所有对你重要的在线账户，寻找那些解释在你死后
会如何处理你的数据的条款和条件。如果你找不到，打电话询
问——也许现在你提出这个问题，今后企业就会做出一些改
变。找一些教授公众有关数字遗产知识的在线组织，从他们那
里获得相关的知识和建议。如果你选择的是遗嘱认证专家，那
就试着找一个非常了解数字资产的人。
三
设身处地地为别人着想。第一，如果你登录、管理或主动
操作一名逝者的手机、社交媒体、博客、消息应用程序或电子
邮件账户，你必须意识到，这些账户的任何活动都可能导
致“从坟墓中传出声音”的现象。学术研究和逸事证据都表
明，这可能会让他人感到惊惧，产生负面影响。你还将访问与
健在者相关的数据，这些数据肯定会引起他们的关注，仔细想
想，这些数据可能也会引起你的关注。第二，也许你不关心你
死后会发生什么，所以不关心自己的数字遗产。也许你想在咽
下最后一口气后消除你的在线存在，那是你的特权。不过，在
你做任何决定之前，还是从别人的角度来考虑一下。如果你深
爱的人在网上有很多照片、视频和其他纪念资料，而这些东西
在他们死后都消失了，你会介意吗？如果你能真正理解这一
点，你可能会猛然觉得不必非得删除自己的数字遗产。然而，
你只能想象到这些，而且你可能对别人的感受做出了错误的假
设（这就引出了第四条规则）。
四
谈论死亡和数字化。尽可能地谈论它，因为它是一个理智
的、有趣的话题，但不要把它抽象化，而要有意义地应用到你
自己的生活中。和你爱的人谈谈你对自己的数字资料的感觉，
谈谈你对数字时代隐私和数据所有权的看法，谈谈当你离开人
世之后，你希望你的数据被如何处理，问问他们对自己的数字
信息的想法和偏好。如果你的朋友说他想在死后删除自己所有
的社交媒体信息，而你认为失去这些资料会让你心碎，那么把
你的想法告诉他，同时也试着理解他为什么会这么想（如果他
坚持自己的观点，那么想一想如何把对你来说珍贵的东西保存
下来）。如果对你来说，把你的Facebook页面更换成纪念状态
或把博客继续保留下去很重要，那就把你的想法告诉你的近
亲，否则他们可能不知道。如果你不确定自己是怎么想的，那
么和别人讨论一下，这通常会让你的立场变得更加清晰。
此外，不要只探讨社交领域。如果你有一份工作，想想你
的工作场所。你的雇主是否控制或处理员工、委托方、用户和
客户的数据？如果与这些数据相关的人死亡，这些信息对其他
人来说，是否具有实用价值、经济价值或情感价值？对于如何
处理逝者的数据，你所在的组织是否有明确的政策和程序？他
们是否就如何与失去亲人的个体互动提供清晰的指导和培训？
所有这些问题的答案可能都是否定的，因为我们在这方面还有
很长的路要走。大胆地说出你的想法，引领变革的发生。
五
立一份数字时代的遗嘱。首先，逆潮流而动，立一份遗
嘱。然后，进一步打破惯例，明确地记录下你希望如何处理自
己留下的数字存储资料。具有讽刺意味的是，这份彻头彻尾的
现代遗嘱可能需要写在纸上，签字，并由官方见证。并不是所
有的司法管辖区都接受以数字化方式生成和存储的遗嘱，所以
了解一下你所在地区的法律。即使在你生活的地方，数字化
的“东西”在法律上是不可执行的，但明确你想要什么也没有
坏处。例如，“我想让我母亲用我遗产中的钱继续支付我博客
的费用”，或者“我想让我的Facebook个人资料转变成纪念状
态”。如果你没有明确的方向，你的亲人和管理你数据的公司
都会推测你想要怎么做，而且可能会相互争论。也许他们做的
刚好符合你的想法，也许他们会弄错。
对于允许你这样做的账户，请指定一个数字执行人（例如
Facebook上的遗产联系人和谷歌上的闲置账号管理员），确保
你首先与该人讨论过这个问题。同样，这在你居住的地方可能
还没有法律依据，但这样做总比完全不表明你的愿望要好得
多。在你的正式遗嘱中把这些内容再说一遍。但是，请记住，
你不能将不属于你的东西遗赠给他人，而且在一个账户对应一
个用户的情况下，你可能不被允许将账户的控制权或对其内容
的访问权转让给另一个人。经常检查条款和条件，怀有合理的
期望。
六
开发一个能让某个可信任的人访问的主密码系统。密码保
护你的设备、账户和应用程序，对于保护你生活中的数据安全
和隐私是绝对必要的，企业鼓励我们定期或在账号被入侵时更
换密码。对于那些需要在你死后处理你的财产或获取个人纪念
资料的人来说，这些非常明智的保护措施可能会成为一场噩
梦。因为我们的密码往往是多样且可变的，所以为遗产或遗产
规划而制作一份不断更新的密码表格是不切实际的。如果你使
用一个完善的在线密码库或在设置的时候允许你的手机记住密
码，那么你就可以在一个安全的地方（遗嘱中、保险箱里的密
封信封中、律师或其他信任的人）记录和更新服务或手机的主
密码。如果你的手机有生物识别密码，你甚至可以给你的律师
或另一个信任的人指纹访问的权限。
不过，有几点需要注意。首先，如果有人允许你在他们死
亡或紧急情况下访问他们的设备和账户，那么不要利用他们的
信任窥探他们的生活。为了维护你们之间的关系，你必须清楚
在什么情况下可以访问对方的私人数据。其次，请记住，如果
条款和条件规定将在原账户持有人确认死亡后删除其账户、将
账户更改成纪念状态或进行其他类型的登录锁定，那么账户密
码将有一个适用期限。最后，如果你的数字资料里有一些秘
密，你怀疑这会给你在乎的人带来困惑、背叛感或更多的痛
苦，那么不要轻易给这些人全部的访问权限。如果你不愿意在
活着的时候承认和处理任何暗藏的秘密，你可能想要疯狂地删
除这些内容，让密码随你而去，或者在你无法再守护秘密的时
候确保通往秘密的大门是紧闭的。在某些情况下（包括你无法
收拾残局的情况），这可以让你爱的人在不知情的情况下过着
幸福的生活。
七
做一个不道歉的策展人。“策划”你的网络形象的行为往
往不受人待见，我们会联想到人们故意夸大他们所享受的兴
奋、幸福和成功，并炫耀他们被粉饰过的生活，引发其他人的
不安全感和嫉妒。不过，从遗产的角度来看，策展工作还有很
多可以探讨之处。我指的并不是对困难事物的审查。对你和其
他人来说，披露不幸和美好都是非常合适的行为。我指的是，
你可以选择如何管理好你的遗产。
图像
想象一下，你得到了一个存有很多照片的笔记本电脑或其
他存储设备。当然，由于数码摄影和手机摄像的普及，这是很
多人将会面对的情况。你会看到成千上万张图片。除了这些图
片外，可能还有成千上万种其他类型的文件（文档、电子邮
件、文本消息等），其中大多数都没有任何上下文或注释来表
明其是否有意义，或是否重要。许多失去亲人的人惊讶地发
现，他们所爱之人的数字遗产如此庞杂且看不出差异，以至于
他们只见树木，不见森林，于是他们避免与这些遗物接触。如
今，如果一位热心的系谱学家发现他曾祖父的爷爷的一张照
片，他可能会欣喜若狂。因为在那个年代，照片非常罕见。如
果能将所有的数字存储数据在未来的几个世纪里保留下来并保
持可访问的状态，那么那些业余的“家谱学家”将会发现，这
个曾经颇具挑战性的爱好，变得如同瓮中捉鳖一般无趣。
在我们精心策划的社交媒体平台上，我们是有选择性的。
我们展示那些对我们最重要的东西、最感动我们的东西，或者
那些我们想被别人看到的东西。不像你电脑上的海量文件，也
不像在线搜索你名字的结果，社交媒体个人资料提供了背景、
时间轴和叙述，因此，人们更容易将其代谢、识别，甚至可能
把它当成是“你”。是的，这些资料对你进行了大量编辑，甚
至可能以一种扭曲的方式反映了你的样子。但出于记忆和遗产
的目的，如果你的个人资料选择性地强调最快乐的时光、最激
动人心的经历，以及你看起来特别迷人的时刻，那会怎么样
呢？无论你是在用数字自传追忆晚年，还是你所爱的人或子孙
后代通过它来回忆或探索你，玫瑰色的自传也许并不是一件坏
事。
八
获得更多并不总是意味着感觉更好。在悲伤中，人们常常
会“寻找”失去的亲人，并贪婪地搜寻任何与他们有关的东
西。特别是在亲人离奇死亡的情况下（意外死亡或创伤性死
亡，或自杀、他杀、神秘死亡），人们可以通过梳理逝者留下
的数据，不懈地寻求答案、安慰和解决办法。我相信在某些情
况下，浏览私人信件是有帮助的。然而，搜索者经常会遇到令
人沮丧的含混不清的材料、引发痛苦的材料，或者只会激起更
多不确定性的材料。逝去的人无法回答这些令人不安的问题，
无法解决含混不清的问题，无法提供重要的背景，也无法道
歉、解决问题或抚平创伤。这是信息时代的一个方面，悲伤可
能会令人特别痛苦。当你深入研究已故亲人的数字数据时，你
可能会打开一件珍贵的礼物或一个潘多拉盒子。你无法预知盒
子里到底会是什么，所以要小心。
九
做一个保守派。古埃及的纸莎草卷轴还在我们身边，但几
十年、几百年后，我们以数字形式存储的信息可能已经不存
在、无法访问或无法阅读了，更不用说几千年了。我们不确定
这些资料到底能保存多久。然而，我们比较肯定的是，纸张和
其他记载材料可能容易受到自然因素的影响，但它们不会成为
技术过时的牺牲品。即使你相信，你的数字尘埃会存在很长一
段时间，即使你已经确保其他人能够访问它，但事情还是会发
生变化。技术会以不可预测的方式发展和淘汰。考虑到这一
点，时而选择性地将数字资料转变为实体资料是值得的。把你
最喜欢的或者有纪念意义的照片制作成相册；打印出你最喜欢
的电子信件；把你在网上写的一段文字抄写到一个漂亮的笔记
本上，放在实体书架上。
如果你从来没有做过这些事情，不要感到绝望。和以前的
人一样，你能够与所爱的人、与祖先相连接，数字世界并没有
摧毁你的这种能力。照片和信件让我想起了我的外祖父母，当
我看到、触摸或使用某枚戒指、缝纫盒里的一个旧纽扣，或一
张折了角、发黄的食谱卡，上面写着巧克力曲奇的制作说明
时，这些记忆也可能会冒出来。在与认识他们的人一起回忆的
过程中，这些记忆被加深和扩展。我将他们的故事铭记于心，
并传递给下一代。有些东西看上去改变了，实际上却并未改
变。
十
忘记不朽。我们中的一小部分人，像达·芬奇、莎士比
亚、巴赫或霍金一样，为艺术、文学、音乐或科学做出了贡
献，并将在好几个世纪里享有盛名。然而，对我们大多数人来
说，我们生活中的数字和物质遗产，主要只对那些了解我们、
爱我们的人，对这一代人和下一代人来说非常重要。知道了这
一点，就专注地过你想要的生活，做你所重视的事情。经常自
问：如果没有人因为我做这件事而记住我，如果做这件事永远
不会为我带来财富或持久的名声，那么这件事仍然值得做吗？
对于我或某个人来说，是否还是一件好事？
永生幻想也许源于对死亡和默默无闻的恐惧；也许与自我
膨胀的感觉有关；也许是因为你渴望在一生中取得一些成就，
希望尽可能长久地改变世界。为什么不呢？无论永生是为了什
么，它都是一场失败的战斗，你在战斗的时候可能会错过什
么？想尽一切办法捕捉、记录和分享你生活中有意义的事情。
我相信，我的女儿和她的后代会喜欢我多年来在社交媒体上精
心记下的她的童年。通过这些努力，我（和她）的数字尘埃很
可能会给未来的几代人带来一些快乐、兴趣，甚至是灵感，而
且我为自己投入时间和精力慢慢积累起这些数字尘埃感到高
兴。但是，从重要性和长远影响来看，在我为她投入的时间和
精力面前，数字尘埃将相形见绌。
因此，最后一条规则的本质是：尽你所能，过最好、最有
价值的生活。好好去爱，活在当下，感恩此刻。成为世界上一
股向善的力量。把你自己奉献给这一切，留下一份你可以为之
自豪的遗产，无论它是什么形式，无论它能存在多久，都顺其
自然。
August 29, 2021
More and more of our life is spent and stored online. What happens to our digital legacy (footprints) after we die? Some people think our data will stay online forever but data dies too and from all kinds of causes. Elaine Kasket uses experienced examples from all over the world to show the reader what is happening and gives practical tips for handeling digital legacies.
December 25, 2020
读了一章半放弃了。
两三章就能说完的隐私权、伦理、法律，以及在数字时代人们如何处理悲伤，硬是拖到了三百页的长长长篇幅，引述各种例子来车轱辘式讲这些。很无聊，并且不符合我的期待。
译者也要背锅，翻译的是个什么玩意儿。好好学中文去吧！
看了豆瓣短评之后补了最后一章「在数字时代面对死亡的十条建议」，确实有用，which was exactly what I was expecting from this book.
两三章就能说完的隐私权、伦理、法律，以及在数字时代人们如何处理悲伤，硬是拖到了三百页的长长长篇幅，引述各种例子来车轱辘式讲这些。很无聊，并且不符合我的期待。
译者也要背锅，翻译的是个什么玩意儿。好好学中文去吧！
看了豆瓣短评之后补了最后一章「在数字时代面对死亡的十条建议」，确实有用，which was exactly what I was expecting from this book.
August 30, 2023
3/5
First impression of the book: She’s old, isn’t she. If you are any generation younger than the millennials, please take in the contents with a grain of Goldilocks salt.
The main idea of this book is that our digital footprints can reconstitute some aspects of us, especially for people to look back after we die. But this is not a new concept, like the love letters mentioned in the Introduction. Modern tools of technology merely amplifies interpersonal connectivity through the magnitude of data to capture and archive, then the accessibility and impact of it should it be ever revived. Technology brings forward, more urgent and impactful than ever, the conflict between ownership and access of personal data, only then followed by the exploitation of it. And somehow the idea of “privacy” wraps around it.
As much as I like the idea this book is based on, and the fact that someone named “Kasket" is talking about a digital “afterlife”, I don’t think the book satisfied me on the matter. Very early on, the author demonstrates a questionable approach to the concept of privacy. Just in the Introduction, she (1) happily shared her grandparents' love letters online cuz "dead people don have privacy", (2) claimed that privacy in the information age is a tricky thing then (3) --after defining privacy as a self-discriminatory sense of ownership--copyrighted her own instagram images.
Or maybe I asked for too much. She’s not a philosopher after all. I expected a thorough dissection of how the concept of privacy is constantly under negotiation between parties of conflicted interest, how currently available technology opens opportunities and controversies, how the concept of morning (but critically NOT death itself) is changing facilitated by technology (say an actual digital graveyard, like a personal museum), how ethics and laws deal with it, how this pattern of complications can only escalate with next-gen platforms such as AR and VR. The book touches on these aspects, but lacks a more critical insights and sometimes even a clear-enough basic definition. I simply don’t like raising some questions and concerns dozens of pages ahead of the author, only to find its effort of resolution (when it eventually mentions it) was no more than what I can think of myself.
Then I’d hope at the bare minimum, from a psychology background, the author can make up the more human part of this discussion: how individuals feel, how variations in personal encounters to technology alter these feelings, how they act, how they mentally prepare themselves (if they do) for the concept of their digital footprint. This part of expectation was dutifully fulfilled.
Of course, the star of all these discussions should have been “information”. To say some collage of digital footprints of a person is that person is already a huge leap of logics, and the author never seems to establish this critical link explicitly even though the initiatives and accuracy of digital footprints (from a biography v.s. autobiography POV) have been repeatedly mentioned.
What the author also seems to never explicitly say, is that mourning is very simply a one-sided act for (the reminiscence) of interpersonal relationships/interactions/communications. Whether or not people believe there is afterlife or “angelic entities”, there will be no response from the actual deceased. So “if angelic entities have agency (p.56)” is very much nonsense.
Lastly, I am utterly shook that Hologram Rimmer from Red Dwarf Omnibus: Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers & Better Than Life was never mentioned in the sci-fi section.
First impression of the book: She’s old, isn’t she. If you are any generation younger than the millennials, please take in the contents with a grain of Goldilocks salt.
The main idea of this book is that our digital footprints can reconstitute some aspects of us, especially for people to look back after we die. But this is not a new concept, like the love letters mentioned in the Introduction. Modern tools of technology merely amplifies interpersonal connectivity through the magnitude of data to capture and archive, then the accessibility and impact of it should it be ever revived. Technology brings forward, more urgent and impactful than ever, the conflict between ownership and access of personal data, only then followed by the exploitation of it. And somehow the idea of “privacy” wraps around it.
As much as I like the idea this book is based on, and the fact that someone named “Kasket" is talking about a digital “afterlife”, I don’t think the book satisfied me on the matter. Very early on, the author demonstrates a questionable approach to the concept of privacy. Just in the Introduction, she (1) happily shared her grandparents' love letters online cuz "dead people don have privacy", (2) claimed that privacy in the information age is a tricky thing then (3) --after defining privacy as a self-discriminatory sense of ownership--copyrighted her own instagram images.
Or maybe I asked for too much. She’s not a philosopher after all. I expected a thorough dissection of how the concept of privacy is constantly under negotiation between parties of conflicted interest, how currently available technology opens opportunities and controversies, how the concept of morning (but critically NOT death itself) is changing facilitated by technology (say an actual digital graveyard, like a personal museum), how ethics and laws deal with it, how this pattern of complications can only escalate with next-gen platforms such as AR and VR. The book touches on these aspects, but lacks a more critical insights and sometimes even a clear-enough basic definition. I simply don’t like raising some questions and concerns dozens of pages ahead of the author, only to find its effort of resolution (when it eventually mentions it) was no more than what I can think of myself.
Then I’d hope at the bare minimum, from a psychology background, the author can make up the more human part of this discussion: how individuals feel, how variations in personal encounters to technology alter these feelings, how they act, how they mentally prepare themselves (if they do) for the concept of their digital footprint. This part of expectation was dutifully fulfilled.
Of course, the star of all these discussions should have been “information”. To say some collage of digital footprints of a person is that person is already a huge leap of logics, and the author never seems to establish this critical link explicitly even though the initiatives and accuracy of digital footprints (from a biography v.s. autobiography POV) have been repeatedly mentioned.
What the author also seems to never explicitly say, is that mourning is very simply a one-sided act for (the reminiscence) of interpersonal relationships/interactions/communications. Whether or not people believe there is afterlife or “angelic entities”, there will be no response from the actual deceased. So “if angelic entities have agency (p.56)” is very much nonsense.
Lastly, I am utterly shook that Hologram Rimmer from Red Dwarf Omnibus: Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers & Better Than Life was never mentioned in the sci-fi section.
April 24, 2024
Any digital immigrant would not have trouble appreciating Kasket's views, but in a world that will soon only belong to digital natives, it was equally hard for me to see just how much of these concerns would remain, or matter the same way. Even with our best living efforts, it is certainly not fair or reasonable to expect that those who remain would hold our traces, digital or otherwise, in the same regard. Perhaps, the issue that warrants greater consideration is not what we should do with our social media accounts in this lifetime, but how we can learn to move on with the memories and memoirs our loved ones have left behind.
June 23, 2020
This is a well written book that in my opinion, every user on social media in 2020 MUST read it. The subject of death in the digital realm might be familiar to many people once they experience the loss of a friend or family member who has digital footprints, but there are no socialy accepted rules to follow when it comes to dealing with a legacy that is digital. Elaine is a great writer and I enjoyed her personal stories and her conversations with many tech experts.
August 23, 2021
Thought-provoking, especially on that eternal debate of privacy vs openness.
January 8, 2023
Fascinating and inspiring. Weaves the perfect balance of personal anecdotes, human stories and factual information. Gave me so much to think about. Highly recommend. Listened to this and really loved the author's voice as well.
December 23, 2024
This book has totally marked my professional interests as an AI and Data lover, wanting now, after reading it, to go deeper and deeper into the mysteries of our data when we are no longer on this plane.
April 7, 2024
A bit too obvious
October 11, 2024
A compelling examination of how our digital lives shape our identities and memories. Goodread!
December 18, 2025
årets mest positivt overraskende leseopplevelse. en forfatter som klarer å utfordre andres og egne synspunkt med stor medmenneskelighet og empati. boka unngår de klassiske fallgruvene som ofte oppstår når folk uten IT-bakgrunn skriver om IT. spesielt syns jeg hun klarer å finne nyansene mellom de to ytterpunktene "døden og teknologi er komplekse, store og skremmende tema og vi er hjelpeløse i møte med de", og "selvsagt er det mulig for deg som enkeltmenneske å ta kontroll over ditt eget liv i møte med disse store kreftene, bare gjør disse tre (overraskende enkle) tingene".
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