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I Wanted Fries with That: How to Ask for What You Want and Get What You Need
At some point in our lives, we’ve all experienced a small injustice — a restaurant botching our lunch order, a business not returning our calls, or a fellow airline passenger squashing us by moving his seat back — and suffered in silence for fear of offending anyone. When we fail to speak up, however, we end up shortchanging ourselves. In I Wanted Fries with That, Amy Fish encourages readers to stand up for themselves by complaining effectively. In her career as a university ombudsman, Fish has dealt with thousands of complaints — some trivial, some serious — and gained actionable insights about what works and what doesn’t. Her suggestions will appeal to anyone who wants to speak up and isn’t sure where to start, including managers navigating workplace disputes, couples who argue about the same things over and over, and even someone with a friend with bad breath. Illustrating her points with funny real-life stories, Fish reveals pragmatic methods to redress grievances with civility, honesty, and fairness for everyone involved — whether you’re trying to right the wrongs of the world or just claim the French fries you ordered.
256 pages, Paperback
Published October 1, 2019
33 people are currently reading
328 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
June 3, 2019
I was raised with two parents: one who complained about everything, embarrassed the heck out us, but generally got a positive resolution, and a "nice" parent who wouldn’t complain if the doctor cut off the wrong leg during surgery. I viewed complaining as something nice people didn’t do.
As a result, I have become someone who was told to "grow a pair" twice in the same week, by two different people in two different states. I needed to learn to advocate for myself, but I was stuck in that space of thinking "nice girls don't do that."
This book could not have been more perfect for me, because it teaches you how to complain and stand up for yourself without being a jerk.
It explains how complaining is a way of advocating for the people who come after you. It changed my view of complaining so much that now I feel as if complaining is actually a way of taking care of people who can't speak up for themselves—all the people in line behind me, or the next person who has to interact with the difficult individual. This reframing of the very idea of complaining is revolutionary.
But there's more. Amy Fish has done the unthinkable—she's made the process of acquiring a new skill into something enjoyable. This book is incredibly funny, and I devoured it in two days. I could have easily had another 100 pages.
How it works: Amy Fish combines personal narratives with step-by-step instructions and questions for further reflection on several aspects of complaining, broken down into three sections:
I Want My Problem Solved
I Want You To Change
I Want Justice To Be Served
Each section has laugh out loud funny stories and commentary as well as easy to follow advice. I feel as if I'm a better person for reading it, and that standing up for myself is not too scary to handle.
Thanks, Edelweiss for providing a free copy in exchange for an honest review.
As a result, I have become someone who was told to "grow a pair" twice in the same week, by two different people in two different states. I needed to learn to advocate for myself, but I was stuck in that space of thinking "nice girls don't do that."
This book could not have been more perfect for me, because it teaches you how to complain and stand up for yourself without being a jerk.
It explains how complaining is a way of advocating for the people who come after you. It changed my view of complaining so much that now I feel as if complaining is actually a way of taking care of people who can't speak up for themselves—all the people in line behind me, or the next person who has to interact with the difficult individual. This reframing of the very idea of complaining is revolutionary.
But there's more. Amy Fish has done the unthinkable—she's made the process of acquiring a new skill into something enjoyable. This book is incredibly funny, and I devoured it in two days. I could have easily had another 100 pages.
How it works: Amy Fish combines personal narratives with step-by-step instructions and questions for further reflection on several aspects of complaining, broken down into three sections:
I Want My Problem Solved
I Want You To Change
I Want Justice To Be Served
Each section has laugh out loud funny stories and commentary as well as easy to follow advice. I feel as if I'm a better person for reading it, and that standing up for myself is not too scary to handle.
Thanks, Edelweiss for providing a free copy in exchange for an honest review.
May 29, 2019
Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for an advanced copy!
This book should be handed to every customer who intends to use the library - really, every person who intends to be a customer in the world. Fish is a university ombudsperson and is used to getting a lot of complaints. (Strangely enough, this does not seem to bother her.) She teaches the reader how to get what you want in any situation - or at least, how to confidently and empathetically express your wants and needs. I liked the concept of the "resolution continuum," where you identify the furthest two possible outcomes, and then hope to land somewhere in the middle. A fun read, too - Fish has a great sense of humor. I hope Georgia gives her some more contracts!
This book should be handed to every customer who intends to use the library - really, every person who intends to be a customer in the world. Fish is a university ombudsperson and is used to getting a lot of complaints. (Strangely enough, this does not seem to bother her.) She teaches the reader how to get what you want in any situation - or at least, how to confidently and empathetically express your wants and needs. I liked the concept of the "resolution continuum," where you identify the furthest two possible outcomes, and then hope to land somewhere in the middle. A fun read, too - Fish has a great sense of humor. I hope Georgia gives her some more contracts!
December 27, 2020
I didn't like this book at first. I wanted practical advice and wasn't prepared for the humor. I set it aside.
The chapters are short and each deals with a separate issue in resolving a complaint. Each is a specific example, but can be applied more broadly.
I picked the book back up because the author can write the book any way the author chooses, so I decided to give it another chance.
I did like the advice given and appreciated the humor when I filtered it through a different mindset.
I actually chuckled under my breath a few times and once even laughed out loud.
The overall advice it good for each of the areas of complaint:
Know what you're complaining about.
Take it to the right person.
Know what you want the outcome to be.
Always have a plan B (and C) because your plan A may not be possible.
Be kind.
I'll read this again so this advice stays fresh in my mind for when I need it.
The chapters are short and each deals with a separate issue in resolving a complaint. Each is a specific example, but can be applied more broadly.
I picked the book back up because the author can write the book any way the author chooses, so I decided to give it another chance.
I did like the advice given and appreciated the humor when I filtered it through a different mindset.
I actually chuckled under my breath a few times and once even laughed out loud.
The overall advice it good for each of the areas of complaint:
Know what you're complaining about.
Take it to the right person.
Know what you want the outcome to be.
Always have a plan B (and C) because your plan A may not be possible.
Be kind.
I'll read this again so this advice stays fresh in my mind for when I need it.
November 28, 2020
This book came up in discussion during the virtual New England Crime Bake conference, and I ordered it while the talk was still happening.
Author Amy Fish is an ombudsman in Canada; her job is to deal with complaints. So, she's something of a subject matter expert on the most effective ways to get your needs met across a variety of arenas.
That's just what this book does. Each chapter starts with an example and then explains various ways to seek redress for problems both big and small -- including when, and whether, to escalate, compromise, or walk away repeating the Serenity Prayer (some problems have no ready resolution, after all).
The book was actually far more entertaining than you would think this kind of work might be, and I recommend it for those who don't always know when to stand up for themselves.
Author Amy Fish is an ombudsman in Canada; her job is to deal with complaints. So, she's something of a subject matter expert on the most effective ways to get your needs met across a variety of arenas.
That's just what this book does. Each chapter starts with an example and then explains various ways to seek redress for problems both big and small -- including when, and whether, to escalate, compromise, or walk away repeating the Serenity Prayer (some problems have no ready resolution, after all).
The book was actually far more entertaining than you would think this kind of work might be, and I recommend it for those who don't always know when to stand up for themselves.
September 23, 2019
Many thanks to the author for sending me an advance proof of this book!
Through various anecdotes and her experience as a university ombudsperson, Amy Fish gives us examples of how to handle difficult situations where you may need to stand up for your rights, or have witnessed an injustice and want something done about it.
It turns out that often, we've got the offending party's intentions completely wrong. This shows that it pays — sometimes literally! — not to jump to conclusions too quickly; going with the 'fundamental belief that everyone is operating in good faith, and that all we have to do to get something corrected is to point it out'. Off the top of my head, I think there were only two or three situations in the book where the offender's intentions were actually less than savoury.
Basically, when striving for something we want that is beyond our own control, we should strike a balance between assertiveness and empathy, as well as be conscious of having a cool head when we convey our response or request: 'Once the initial sting is gone, you might still be upset because you were treated unfairly, but you will no longer feel that your hair is on fire'.
The author's family, Jewish heritage, and hometown of Montreal also feature heavily in these real-life fables, which gives this book a whole lot of heart and makes it stand out from most titles in the "humorous self-help" genre. As a reader, I was drawn right into these scenes and could sometimes imagine myself sitting at their table for dinner! The book was not without its serious moments, either.
For my taste, there were a little too many "just kidding" footnotes when to me it was self-explanatory. The other asides/footnotes were also a bit distracting, but perhaps these bothered me more because I was reading it as a PDF on my Kindle, whereas on a hardback page they'd complement the main body nicely.
Overall, I'm not sure how well the customer service approaches would go down in Germany as opposed to North America, but it's worth giving them a try, right? And if not, at least the interpersonal takeaways from this book are valuable.
Through various anecdotes and her experience as a university ombudsperson, Amy Fish gives us examples of how to handle difficult situations where you may need to stand up for your rights, or have witnessed an injustice and want something done about it.
It turns out that often, we've got the offending party's intentions completely wrong. This shows that it pays — sometimes literally! — not to jump to conclusions too quickly; going with the 'fundamental belief that everyone is operating in good faith, and that all we have to do to get something corrected is to point it out'. Off the top of my head, I think there were only two or three situations in the book where the offender's intentions were actually less than savoury.
Basically, when striving for something we want that is beyond our own control, we should strike a balance between assertiveness and empathy, as well as be conscious of having a cool head when we convey our response or request: 'Once the initial sting is gone, you might still be upset because you were treated unfairly, but you will no longer feel that your hair is on fire'.
The author's family, Jewish heritage, and hometown of Montreal also feature heavily in these real-life fables, which gives this book a whole lot of heart and makes it stand out from most titles in the "humorous self-help" genre. As a reader, I was drawn right into these scenes and could sometimes imagine myself sitting at their table for dinner! The book was not without its serious moments, either.
For my taste, there were a little too many "just kidding" footnotes when to me it was self-explanatory. The other asides/footnotes were also a bit distracting, but perhaps these bothered me more because I was reading it as a PDF on my Kindle, whereas on a hardback page they'd complement the main body nicely.
Overall, I'm not sure how well the customer service approaches would go down in Germany as opposed to North America, but it's worth giving them a try, right? And if not, at least the interpersonal takeaways from this book are valuable.
October 11, 2019
If you're looking for something to know how to deal with complaints in a fun way then check out this title. It was full of humor and some very great tips! With solutions given in a fun way you will laugh your way to getting what you want and how you want it. I really think that this book is for everyone! If you deal with customer service etc then pick this one up!
July 17, 2019
The book was mediocre at best. It didn't really draw me in. I could have lived my life without ever reading it and I would feel the same way. I enjoyed seeing the real-life situations but I don't think it would work for me.
November 4, 2025
What do you think is more stressful: speaking up about something that is bothering you and trying to fix it, or sweeping your problem under the rug, where it is likely to grow and fester, like a giant wound?
Neighbor and her family are understandably furious. They believe this should not have happened. They blame the driver, they blame the construction project, they blame the Mamluk Sultanate Empire of Egypt for inventing the fifty-two-card deck, which made the game of bridge possible. Had the Europeans not brought cards to North America, Grandma would have had nowhere to go today, would not have left the house, and would not have fallen face-first into a pile of concrete. They argue about whether she was mistreated because of her age, her medical condition, or her prior affiliation with a certain garment workers union. But let’s keep that last theory between us.
…speaking up for yourself works. Many people are afraid to ask for what they want because they don’t know how. You have a better chance of getting what you want if you ask for it than if you don’t, even if your technique is not perfect, even if you stumble. In contrast, if you do nothing, it is 100 percent certain that your situation will not change. If you speak up and try your best, chances are you will be able to get at least some of what you want.
While this book is yet another seemingly obvious self-help book, it was at least entertaining to read because of Fish’s unserious writing style. Plus, I needed some reinforcement about how I approached situations and how to stand up for myself. A lot of it was things I knew and attempt to do, but some of it was new material that I could use in the near future, most likely. On another note, I need to stop reading self-help books…
Neighbor and her family are understandably furious. They believe this should not have happened. They blame the driver, they blame the construction project, they blame the Mamluk Sultanate Empire of Egypt for inventing the fifty-two-card deck, which made the game of bridge possible. Had the Europeans not brought cards to North America, Grandma would have had nowhere to go today, would not have left the house, and would not have fallen face-first into a pile of concrete. They argue about whether she was mistreated because of her age, her medical condition, or her prior affiliation with a certain garment workers union. But let’s keep that last theory between us.
…speaking up for yourself works. Many people are afraid to ask for what they want because they don’t know how. You have a better chance of getting what you want if you ask for it than if you don’t, even if your technique is not perfect, even if you stumble. In contrast, if you do nothing, it is 100 percent certain that your situation will not change. If you speak up and try your best, chances are you will be able to get at least some of what you want.
While this book is yet another seemingly obvious self-help book, it was at least entertaining to read because of Fish’s unserious writing style. Plus, I needed some reinforcement about how I approached situations and how to stand up for myself. A lot of it was things I knew and attempt to do, but some of it was new material that I could use in the near future, most likely. On another note, I need to stop reading self-help books…
August 19, 2022
I met Amy at the recent HippoCamp writer's conference and knew that I immediately loved her voice -- both in person and on the page. At the end of the conference, two of us were thanking her for a great presentation on hustling. She gave us her last copies of the book she brought to sell. I promptly came home and read the book almost in one sitting.
The practical advice underscores my own approach to life both in my profession and in my family. We can get most of what we want by remaining calm and looking at what the other person needs or wants. I'm 74 now, so I have fewer points of potential conflict in the work arena. But I just wrote a book about grandparenting. My 5 year-old granddaughter will be coming for a sleepover tomorrow night. She has a strong will, and I hope to help her develop some of Amy's skills. We love to laugh together, so I will try to follow Amy's example of teaching while having fun.
The practical advice underscores my own approach to life both in my profession and in my family. We can get most of what we want by remaining calm and looking at what the other person needs or wants. I'm 74 now, so I have fewer points of potential conflict in the work arena. But I just wrote a book about grandparenting. My 5 year-old granddaughter will be coming for a sleepover tomorrow night. She has a strong will, and I hope to help her develop some of Amy's skills. We love to laugh together, so I will try to follow Amy's example of teaching while having fun.
September 20, 2019
Endorsements:
“Amy provides a smile on every page.”
— Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court justice, about The Art of Complaining Effectively by Amy Fish
“Fish’s how-to guide for effective complaining is effervescent with a breezy sense of humor . . . a blueprint to getting what you need with the right words and a delicate touch.”
— Booklist
“Readers looking for advice on raising concerns effectively will find this guide to be a valuable tool.”
— Publishers Weekly
“Amy Fish is laugh-out-loud funny, and her words carry an important message: we need to stand up not only for ourselves but for everyone in line behind us. I found myself nodding feverishly in agreement. I wish I had read this twenty years earlier so I could have imparted more of this information to my children. It is so sensible.”
— Nancy Speilberg, producer, Playmount Productions
“Self-improvement has never been easier or more enjoyable, engaging, amusing, and effective. Amy Fish delivers clear-cut instructions with passion and wit, teaching even the most reluctant complainers how to speak up for themselves. You’ll laugh your way to a stronger, better you.”
— Lara Lillibridge, bestselling author of Mama, Mama, Only Mama: An Irreverent Guide for the Newly Single Parent—From Divorce and Dating to Cooking and Crafting, All While Raising the Kids and Maintaining Your Own Sanity
“With warmth, humor, wisdom, and deep respect for others, Amy Fish gives you the strategies and courage to speak in your own voice to ask for what you want or need. This is storytelling and complaint handling at their very best.”
— Lydia Cummings, university ombudsman
“Laugh-out-loud funny and packed with wise and practical advice on making your voice heard, this book should be on everyone’s reading list.”
— Susan E. Opler, ombudsman, City of Toronto
“Fresh, crisp, and terrifically useful advice. Especially good for those of us who’ve never had the nerve to send back a dish at a restaurant, these easy scripts and practical examples will help us all learn a kinder, gentler way of making things better.”
— Sam Bennett, author of Get It Done: From Procrastination to Creative Genius in 15 Minutes a Day
“Take it from someone who avoids complaining at all costs: Amy Fish’s I Wanted Fries with That made me want to speak up and speak out! She offers practical advice laced with enough humor to make even the most skittish of us stand up and get exactly what we want.”
— Athena Dixon, author of No God in This Room
“Amy Fish’s book gave me great tips I can use at work, where I spend a lot of time negotiating with opposing counsel, and at home, where I spend a lot of time negotiating with my teenage kids. It also made me laugh along the way.”
— Susan Gradman, Chicago attorney
“Amy provides a smile on every page.”
— Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court justice, about The Art of Complaining Effectively by Amy Fish
“Fish’s how-to guide for effective complaining is effervescent with a breezy sense of humor . . . a blueprint to getting what you need with the right words and a delicate touch.”
— Booklist
“Readers looking for advice on raising concerns effectively will find this guide to be a valuable tool.”
— Publishers Weekly
“Amy Fish is laugh-out-loud funny, and her words carry an important message: we need to stand up not only for ourselves but for everyone in line behind us. I found myself nodding feverishly in agreement. I wish I had read this twenty years earlier so I could have imparted more of this information to my children. It is so sensible.”
— Nancy Speilberg, producer, Playmount Productions
“Self-improvement has never been easier or more enjoyable, engaging, amusing, and effective. Amy Fish delivers clear-cut instructions with passion and wit, teaching even the most reluctant complainers how to speak up for themselves. You’ll laugh your way to a stronger, better you.”
— Lara Lillibridge, bestselling author of Mama, Mama, Only Mama: An Irreverent Guide for the Newly Single Parent—From Divorce and Dating to Cooking and Crafting, All While Raising the Kids and Maintaining Your Own Sanity
“With warmth, humor, wisdom, and deep respect for others, Amy Fish gives you the strategies and courage to speak in your own voice to ask for what you want or need. This is storytelling and complaint handling at their very best.”
— Lydia Cummings, university ombudsman
“Laugh-out-loud funny and packed with wise and practical advice on making your voice heard, this book should be on everyone’s reading list.”
— Susan E. Opler, ombudsman, City of Toronto
“Fresh, crisp, and terrifically useful advice. Especially good for those of us who’ve never had the nerve to send back a dish at a restaurant, these easy scripts and practical examples will help us all learn a kinder, gentler way of making things better.”
— Sam Bennett, author of Get It Done: From Procrastination to Creative Genius in 15 Minutes a Day
“Take it from someone who avoids complaining at all costs: Amy Fish’s I Wanted Fries with That made me want to speak up and speak out! She offers practical advice laced with enough humor to make even the most skittish of us stand up and get exactly what we want.”
— Athena Dixon, author of No God in This Room
“Amy Fish’s book gave me great tips I can use at work, where I spend a lot of time negotiating with opposing counsel, and at home, where I spend a lot of time negotiating with my teenage kids. It also made me laugh along the way.”
— Susan Gradman, Chicago attorney
March 5, 2021
"I Wanted Fries with That" is about how we should ask for what we want so we can get what we need. There are 27 chapters, and each one begins with little things like "how to get greener lettuce." Then the tips work up to bigger things like "how do we get the right break at work "or "how do we negotiate with our spouses."
The author has shared her natural ability to speak up for herself with all of us in this fantastic book, which I thought was so brilliant. She even organized the chapters by complaints, and I love when a book's structure is a wink-wink. I think many of us are reluctant to speak up because we don't know how to or don't have the skills. The book has some excellent tips. One of the chapters I liked the most was about "how to get somebody to stop using their cell phone at the dinner table." At its core, the book is about communication and talks about how life is better when we speak up. If we do nothing, then nothing's ever going to change.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/amy...
The author has shared her natural ability to speak up for herself with all of us in this fantastic book, which I thought was so brilliant. She even organized the chapters by complaints, and I love when a book's structure is a wink-wink. I think many of us are reluctant to speak up because we don't know how to or don't have the skills. The book has some excellent tips. One of the chapters I liked the most was about "how to get somebody to stop using their cell phone at the dinner table." At its core, the book is about communication and talks about how life is better when we speak up. If we do nothing, then nothing's ever going to change.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/amy...
November 12, 2019
breezy [exceptionally so] guide to complaining effectively. Her own job as ombudsperson at a university in Canada came up surprisingly rarely [and not to good effect - the example of grade grubbing by going over the instructor's calculations has about a 0.5% chance of working in regular life], whereas her personal life and the lives of her friends and family provide most of the anecdotes.
Most of her advice seemed sound -- stay calm, be persistent, be clear about what you want to have happen, have a sequential plan rather than escalating immediately [as an aside, i REALLY wish college students would hear that one at orientation -- when i was a department chair, the number of people who needlessly and dramatically rope in the dean/provost/whatever as their FIRST step was striking], be flexible about alternative resolutions that might be more achievable than your first ask, try to see it from their point of view also, etc.
so why only two stars? Because I think there is at least one major problem with the book for either type of reader:
1. Self-help person -- you seriously want input re how to complain effectively. For this person, the only accessible part is the short "conclusion" section in which she summarizes a few key themes. The rest is disorganized, as she chose to label the chapters by the very specific complaint illustrated in the anecdote for that chapter: "how to exchange a onesie" "how to call out another Mom for suboptimal cupcake behavior", etc. What's the likelihood that you have that exact issue? better IMO to organize by principle or at least by high-level category of complaint [returning things, griping about service, etc]
2. Entertainment seeker -- the other approach to reading this one, the one I adopted [shaped probably by thinking the title was funny when i saw it on "new nonfiction" shelf at our library], is to read it straight through for laughs. Unfortunately, it's not funny. I guess this is a matter of taste -- she managed to obtain a blurb from RBG who sed there's a smile on every page, and i see that other goodreads reviewers have called it hilarious etc. So.........this may well just be me, but i didn't care for the over-the-top yuk-fest style of humor.
here's a sample [p. 80] from a time she's giving a guest talk in someone's college class concerning subject matter of this book:
[to a student who asked question] "I need more detail; please keep going," I say, and look to the instructor for confirmation that I have enough time. He nods and takes a sip of grande extra hot latte.* We clearly pass different coffee shops on our way to this building.....
and then the footnote is:
*Hey, Encyclopedia Brown, there is no way for me to know what's in his cup. I am just signaling to you that it's from Starbucks and taking some poetic license."
Did you laugh out loud? smile like RBG? or just think it's a pointless detail to dwell on, and experience being tired because it's the 65th meta-aside breaking the fourth wall and speaking to the reader about the writing process and how she embellishes? The answer will determine whether you should read this book because there is a lot more where that came from.
Most of her advice seemed sound -- stay calm, be persistent, be clear about what you want to have happen, have a sequential plan rather than escalating immediately [as an aside, i REALLY wish college students would hear that one at orientation -- when i was a department chair, the number of people who needlessly and dramatically rope in the dean/provost/whatever as their FIRST step was striking], be flexible about alternative resolutions that might be more achievable than your first ask, try to see it from their point of view also, etc.
so why only two stars? Because I think there is at least one major problem with the book for either type of reader:
1. Self-help person -- you seriously want input re how to complain effectively. For this person, the only accessible part is the short "conclusion" section in which she summarizes a few key themes. The rest is disorganized, as she chose to label the chapters by the very specific complaint illustrated in the anecdote for that chapter: "how to exchange a onesie" "how to call out another Mom for suboptimal cupcake behavior", etc. What's the likelihood that you have that exact issue? better IMO to organize by principle or at least by high-level category of complaint [returning things, griping about service, etc]
2. Entertainment seeker -- the other approach to reading this one, the one I adopted [shaped probably by thinking the title was funny when i saw it on "new nonfiction" shelf at our library], is to read it straight through for laughs. Unfortunately, it's not funny. I guess this is a matter of taste -- she managed to obtain a blurb from RBG who sed there's a smile on every page, and i see that other goodreads reviewers have called it hilarious etc. So.........this may well just be me, but i didn't care for the over-the-top yuk-fest style of humor.
here's a sample [p. 80] from a time she's giving a guest talk in someone's college class concerning subject matter of this book:
[to a student who asked question] "I need more detail; please keep going," I say, and look to the instructor for confirmation that I have enough time. He nods and takes a sip of grande extra hot latte.* We clearly pass different coffee shops on our way to this building.....
and then the footnote is:
*Hey, Encyclopedia Brown, there is no way for me to know what's in his cup. I am just signaling to you that it's from Starbucks and taking some poetic license."
Did you laugh out loud? smile like RBG? or just think it's a pointless detail to dwell on, and experience being tired because it's the 65th meta-aside breaking the fourth wall and speaking to the reader about the writing process and how she embellishes? The answer will determine whether you should read this book because there is a lot more where that came from.
October 16, 2019
My mother was always a firm believer that if you are not happy with something it is your right to complain, sit down and write a letter, call the person or go see the person in charge. Today, she would be flabbergasted to see that people are using social media to get their thoughts out which is not directed at anyone.
Amy Fish’s new book, I Wanted Fries with That is a well written and well thought out book teaching people how to stand up for yourselves in a calm polite and effective way to get what you want (my mother would have loved this!). During this time, she will make you laugh while learning How to Ask for What You Want and Get What You Need.
Her book is divided up into six different themes.
The first theme of the book is that speaking up for yourself works. If you don't ask for what you want, chances are you won’t get it. Fish provides helpful tricks and suggestions to help you achieve this easily.
The second theme is that if at first you don’t succeed; you have to be prepared to keep trying. Fish gives stories of how this works in real life so that you can relate.
The third theme: it’s okay to put yourself and your needs ahead of someone else’s. A tough one, but Fish makes this relatable and makes you comfortable in making this decision. It’s more than just saying no.
Compromise and creativity are covered in the fourth theme. If you can’t get exactly what you want, then decide what else can you get? She teaches the reader to brainstorm alternatives and determine what you are prepared to live with. The stories provided give you a clear picture of how useful this tool really is.
The fifth theme is about people, communication and relationships. She speaks how it needs to be ongoing and clear to be effective.
The sixth theme is about the responsibility to complain effectively.
Throughout the book Fish provides useful and often funny anecdotes as well as personal stories to help the readers understand how to complain effectively. By the end of the book you will feel like Amy has become a friend.
*This book is useful for all ages. I highly suggest this to YA, so they can become effective complainers, image a generation of people knowing how to ask for what they want, getting what they need and not feeling entitled.
Amy Fish’s new book, I Wanted Fries with That is a well written and well thought out book teaching people how to stand up for yourselves in a calm polite and effective way to get what you want (my mother would have loved this!). During this time, she will make you laugh while learning How to Ask for What You Want and Get What You Need.
Her book is divided up into six different themes.
The first theme of the book is that speaking up for yourself works. If you don't ask for what you want, chances are you won’t get it. Fish provides helpful tricks and suggestions to help you achieve this easily.
The second theme is that if at first you don’t succeed; you have to be prepared to keep trying. Fish gives stories of how this works in real life so that you can relate.
The third theme: it’s okay to put yourself and your needs ahead of someone else’s. A tough one, but Fish makes this relatable and makes you comfortable in making this decision. It’s more than just saying no.
Compromise and creativity are covered in the fourth theme. If you can’t get exactly what you want, then decide what else can you get? She teaches the reader to brainstorm alternatives and determine what you are prepared to live with. The stories provided give you a clear picture of how useful this tool really is.
The fifth theme is about people, communication and relationships. She speaks how it needs to be ongoing and clear to be effective.
The sixth theme is about the responsibility to complain effectively.
Throughout the book Fish provides useful and often funny anecdotes as well as personal stories to help the readers understand how to complain effectively. By the end of the book you will feel like Amy has become a friend.
*This book is useful for all ages. I highly suggest this to YA, so they can become effective complainers, image a generation of people knowing how to ask for what they want, getting what they need and not feeling entitled.
October 4, 2019
Amy Fish's fresh and endearing voice reveals the three Ws of effective complaining.
Willingness
I am a reluctant complainer. For a long time, my motto was go along to get along. Amy’s book reveals exactly why I need to leave this tendency behind. Her excellent examples and cheerleading haves already given me the courage to speak up.
Wit
Amy’s incredibly funny. The spin she puts on her personal vignettes make this a quick, easy, and entertaining read. You’ll learn a lot without feeling like your being educated by the author.
Wisdom
This book is filled with sample conversations and helpful questions that reveal the secrets of complaining effectively and how to apply them in your life. She teaches you how to address difficult social challenges (like getting someone to freshen their breath) while also tackling social justice issues (like keeping Grandma from falling on a pile of pipes).
And, who can resist a book blurbed by Ruth Bader Ginsburg?
I absolutely loved this book. If I had to give it one criticism (for the sake of balance) it’s that this book is about more than complaining. It teaches you about assertiveness, boundary-setting, and the social justice that results from being honest about your experiences. Complaining is just the tip of the iceberg in I Wanted Fries with That. This book is practical, positive, and inspirational.
Willingness
I am a reluctant complainer. For a long time, my motto was go along to get along. Amy’s book reveals exactly why I need to leave this tendency behind. Her excellent examples and cheerleading haves already given me the courage to speak up.
Wit
Amy’s incredibly funny. The spin she puts on her personal vignettes make this a quick, easy, and entertaining read. You’ll learn a lot without feeling like your being educated by the author.
Wisdom
This book is filled with sample conversations and helpful questions that reveal the secrets of complaining effectively and how to apply them in your life. She teaches you how to address difficult social challenges (like getting someone to freshen their breath) while also tackling social justice issues (like keeping Grandma from falling on a pile of pipes).
And, who can resist a book blurbed by Ruth Bader Ginsburg?
I absolutely loved this book. If I had to give it one criticism (for the sake of balance) it’s that this book is about more than complaining. It teaches you about assertiveness, boundary-setting, and the social justice that results from being honest about your experiences. Complaining is just the tip of the iceberg in I Wanted Fries with That. This book is practical, positive, and inspirational.
October 18, 2020
This was enjoyable fast read (listen) -- not groundbreaking stuff, but entertaining and possessing some useful takeaway points. I enjoyed Fish's quirky sense of humor, but YMMV.
This book is told through many highly specific examples of situations in which the author or a friend/client of hers felt like they weren't getting the item/service they asked/paid for, or needed to correct a wrong, and how they went about asking for a resolution. (Some examples/resolutions were a bit troubling to me -- I would never, for instance, confront a person who doesn't outwardly look like they have a disability about their use of a handicapped parking space -- while she does give a caveat to this effect in the text, one wonders the utility of putting this anecdote in the book when it so narrowly applicable to only people you personally know well enough to know they don't have a disability, obvious or less obvious.) While these identical specific examples are unlikely to arise in readers' lives, the point is to apply the principles she suggests to whatever your situation might be. I'm pretty assertive, so I've already been doing this myself most of my life. I think a good takeaway for many (including me) is to frame requests in a way that empowers and appeals to people who can help you, even if it means leaving out what to you seem like important details or points.
This book is told through many highly specific examples of situations in which the author or a friend/client of hers felt like they weren't getting the item/service they asked/paid for, or needed to correct a wrong, and how they went about asking for a resolution. (Some examples/resolutions were a bit troubling to me -- I would never, for instance, confront a person who doesn't outwardly look like they have a disability about their use of a handicapped parking space -- while she does give a caveat to this effect in the text, one wonders the utility of putting this anecdote in the book when it so narrowly applicable to only people you personally know well enough to know they don't have a disability, obvious or less obvious.) While these identical specific examples are unlikely to arise in readers' lives, the point is to apply the principles she suggests to whatever your situation might be. I'm pretty assertive, so I've already been doing this myself most of my life. I think a good takeaway for many (including me) is to frame requests in a way that empowers and appeals to people who can help you, even if it means leaving out what to you seem like important details or points.
November 5, 2022
When a book starts off with a preface titled, "The Hole In the Story" - which states the book is not backed by hard science - and then the third paragraph of the intro to Part 1 starts with, "According to scientific research ..." you get a strong sense the book might not be that good.
Such is the case with "I Wanted Fries with That." My first complaint about this book on complaining has to do with all the footnotes, which are not really footnotes. They are asides and explanations that could have easily been written into the main text. Instead, they are speed bumps and mostly unnecessary explanations. I found them distracting and irritating. Not only did all the asides disrupt the flow of my reading, there were more than a few that came off as condescending. To me, it's a signal that Fish doesn't trust her readers, or thinks she knows much more than they do, so much so that she needs to explain things to them at every turn.
To be fair, there is some great advice contained within these pages, the main bulk being in Part II on how to get people to change. There's also some humor and a few interesting stories. However, sorry to say, what could have been an engaging and effective topic was subsumed by the overall tone of the book. To me, the writing comes off as talking down to the readers. And that's a complaint that cannot be mitigated.
Such is the case with "I Wanted Fries with That." My first complaint about this book on complaining has to do with all the footnotes, which are not really footnotes. They are asides and explanations that could have easily been written into the main text. Instead, they are speed bumps and mostly unnecessary explanations. I found them distracting and irritating. Not only did all the asides disrupt the flow of my reading, there were more than a few that came off as condescending. To me, it's a signal that Fish doesn't trust her readers, or thinks she knows much more than they do, so much so that she needs to explain things to them at every turn.
To be fair, there is some great advice contained within these pages, the main bulk being in Part II on how to get people to change. There's also some humor and a few interesting stories. However, sorry to say, what could have been an engaging and effective topic was subsumed by the overall tone of the book. To me, the writing comes off as talking down to the readers. And that's a complaint that cannot be mitigated.
May 31, 2023
I wanted this book to be useful; I often find myself not getting what I want. I did not get what I want with this book.
I feel that one has to be at the very bottom of the "I-need-help-with-asking-for-stuff" scale to find value here. There is no method, system, strategy, nor procedure to follow. There is no "how" on the "how to ask" part, just examples of questions that might work. At least she is honest in her appraisal of the effectiveness of those questions.
These are basic common-sense, sometimes even trivial, tips used by most people in day-to-day interactions (I would be really surprised if not); they are the rational thing to do. She presents cases, gives a couple of solutions to those problems. Her style is awkward. She tries to be pleasant but is often annoying. I wonder about her editor, because this reads like one of those self-published books where there is no editor to cut out the author's many cringy remarks.
I feel that one has to be at the very bottom of the "I-need-help-with-asking-for-stuff" scale to find value here. There is no method, system, strategy, nor procedure to follow. There is no "how" on the "how to ask" part, just examples of questions that might work. At least she is honest in her appraisal of the effectiveness of those questions.
These are basic common-sense, sometimes even trivial, tips used by most people in day-to-day interactions (I would be really surprised if not); they are the rational thing to do. She presents cases, gives a couple of solutions to those problems. Her style is awkward. She tries to be pleasant but is often annoying. I wonder about her editor, because this reads like one of those self-published books where there is no editor to cut out the author's many cringy remarks.
April 4, 2020
I really enjoy self-help books. What I’ve read in the past have offered at least a couple concepts that I could apply (or attempt to do so) into my own life. In that regard, this book is familiar ground. However, where it differs is that the author introduces her own type of comedy. “Great!”, you say? Not so much. Her comedy could be described as random tangents - which might be funny if she didn’t drag each “joke” as far as she does. Instead, you find yourself taken down wandering paths of “where is this going?...”. I found myself speed reading the first half of each paragraph or chapter until I reached actual content.
She does have some good, applicable advice. You’ll just have to sift through the two-thirds of book to find it.
She does have some good, applicable advice. You’ll just have to sift through the two-thirds of book to find it.
November 3, 2019
This was such a great read, with amusing but real examples of how to maneuver around situations that often deal with uncomfortable complaints. There were many examples of true circumstances that were resolved either whole or in part, by taking the time to think through all the possible ways to tackle the problem. I think this book is useful for anyone young or old, maybe as a refresher course, on what ultimately comes down to how to deal with people.
I didn't love the footnotes, I found them distracting, and I often kept losing my place after reading them. For me, they would have been better inserted into the paragraph where it belonged or left out entirely.
I didn't love the footnotes, I found them distracting, and I often kept losing my place after reading them. For me, they would have been better inserted into the paragraph where it belonged or left out entirely.
November 10, 2019
Asking for what I want in life scares the shit out of me. It scares most women, especially if they’re a woman of color/Black. I decided to give this book a shot because hey, why not? Amy Fish is hilarious. She’s smart. She’s brilliant. She knows what it feels like to want something and not have enough guts to go after it. This book changed the way that I perceive myself. I want things and now I’m not afraid to say that out loud. I’m not afraid to admit these things to other people or even to myself. Check this book out and get ready for a life that you may not have honestly thought that you deserved.
November 18, 2020
Even before I'd finished this book, I found myself adjusting how I approached people with complaints and/or requests for changes based on Amy Fish's suggestions. I am happy to report the results have been quite effective. I would like to thank Amy for reducing my blood pressure during this phase of the pandemic as some of her suggestions have even worked with my loved ones at home.
When I was done reading, I felt as if I'd spent several hours at one of her "Stitch and Effectively Bitch" session. Some humor, support and camaraderie made this book an especially welcome and fun read!
When I was done reading, I felt as if I'd spent several hours at one of her "Stitch and Effectively Bitch" session. Some humor, support and camaraderie made this book an especially welcome and fun read!
February 10, 2021
Considering the fact that this was a book I wouldn't have actively chosen to read, but rather one I read during downtime at work for lack of anything else to do, I was very pleasantly surprised by this. The author offers some very useful techniques to get what you want/need without coming across as pushy or rude, and manages to be absolutely hilarious while she does it. This was definitely one of the more enjoyable reads I've picked up at work recently and I would recommend it to anyone who has a hard time asserting themselves in work or social situations.
October 18, 2019
Amy Fish style gives a refreshing perspective to problems many of us have encountered. Issues where we thought we handled properly but maybe didn’t get the results we wanted. I loved the way the chapters were each their own vignette but the theme continued through the whole book. It’s the perfect combination of good advice, humour and personal perspective. A light read but definitely the perfect read for the upcoming holiday season. I truly enjoyed this book and walked away with a smile.
June 27, 2022
I loved this book! I expected practical advice that would help me in a variety of situations and I wasn't disappointed. What I didn't expect was to smile and laugh and nod so much--what fun! But what I loved most about it was its wisdom and acknowledgment of the human being opposite the complaint: sometimes we can get what we need when we treat people with kindness and understanding. Now that's a lesson everyone can put to good use!
May 18, 2020
Amy Fish knows how to tell a story with humor, and when she has our attention, she is able to impart lessons for standing up for ourselves. I’d love to read more from her - after reading this book, I feel like she is a friend. (Probably due to her chatty tone and somewhat due to reading this on lockdown.)
July 10, 2020
This book is funny, empowering and easy to read. Amy gives great advice on how to ask for and get what you need in all areas of your life. I purchased it because I loved the title and I'm so glad I did. After reading it I will always speak up now, because I can't get what I want unless I at least try. Thank you for sharing your stories and advice!
July 27, 2020
Loved how the book was divided into different 'problems' and how Amy Fish used different scenarios to explain each one. Amy is a great storyteller and a very funny writer. I wouldn't say I learned something completely new, but I did learn new techniques and good reminders.
October 13, 2020
I loved this book! Amy writes like I think so her humor was right up my alley! Such a wonderfully insightful book and helpful to those of us who don't want to be. 'Karen' but do want to get what we need.
May 9, 2023
Excellent refresher on ways to turn a negative situation into a positive one without losing your head. Strategies in getting what you want, need or deserve by keeping calm and staying rational. Highly recommend this book.
January 13, 2024
The humor was a bit over the top for me at times; a few too many “J/k!” moments that felt silly and/or forced. However, the advice was good and applicable, and it’s a quick read with short chapters, real-world scenarios, and questions to consider.
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