What do you think?
Rate this book
The Wisdom of Anxiety: How Worry and Intrusive Thoughts Are Gifts to Help You Heal
A counselor in the depth psychology tradition shows readers there's nothing to fear from anxiety “The Wisdom of Anxiety serves as a well-lit pathway to the truth of who we are and to how to navigate life when paralyzed by anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and a sense of hopelessness.” —Alanis Morissette, singer-songwriter Work anxiety. Relationship anxiety. Social anxiety. World anxiety. Money anxiety. Health anxiety. How does reading those words make you feel? All too often, when we experience the things that give us anxiety, our first instinct is to try to run away or numb out from feeling them. But what if the unpleasant feelings you want to turn away from are actually vital sources of information about your well-being? In The Wisdom of Anxiety, counselor Sheryl Paul examines the deeper meaning of the racing thoughts, sweaty palms, and insomnia that accompany the uncertain moments of our lives. No one likes to feel anxiety—and yet, Paul asserts it can be a remarkably direct messenger of our subconscious. Here you will learn how you can pause and listen to your anxieties to discover inner truths that you’ve been avoiding. This lyrically written book not only considers the many forms anxieties can take, but also provides deep-dive practices for addressing them at their roots. Here you will The nature of intrusive thoughts and how to manage them.How to explore states of loneliness, apathy, regret, and shame without being caught up in them.Feeling anxiety around feeling good? Discover why and what to do about it.How to cultivate your own loving inner parent.Why anxiety can arise from boredom and longing.How to create healthy and meaningful personal rituals to relieve anxiety.Navigating the many sources of anxiety in relationships. Whether it’s worry around raising children, nervousness about world events, or any other way anxiety manifests, The Wisdom of Anxiety can help you uncover the true source of your discomfort and find the rich self-knowledge within.
274 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 28, 2019
607 people are currently reading
5752 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 224 reviews
June 17, 2019
"As Rilke said, 'Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart, and love the questions themselves.' When embarking on inner work, it's essential to remember that life is a work in progres, and there is not end goal to healing. As humans, we are both whole and broken, formed and unformed. But there is a critical difference between having broken parts that need attention and believing that there's something fundamentally wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. You are intrinsically good, loved, and whole."
I usually read a book in 1-2 days. I will sit with it, dive into it and then come up for air when I am done. I expected to do that with this book as well and I couldn't have been more wrong. This book turned out to be a journey for me. A journey through my own anxiety, my own childhood, my ability to be kind and generous with myself. I could not take this journey in one day, I needed it in bits and pieces, I needed to sit with it all.
I have highlighted 73 different sections in this book. I can't quote all of them here but here's one more that is the most resonant for me, especially as a parent but also for my own child-self:
"As a parent, one of my deepest desires is for my sons to know that they are loveable and loved exactly as they ae, no matter now angry, loud, messy, or disrespectful they are. I want them to know that all their feelings are welcome and important. I may not always like their behavior - and I let them know - but it doesn't alter my love for them, which is unchanging and eternal. I'll say to them "I didn't like how you treated your friend today, but nothing will ever change how much I love you." The message I hope to impart is: I love you because I love you. I don't love you because you're beautiful (even thought you are.) I don't love you because you're creative (although I do reflect back an awareness of your creativity.) I love you because I love you. And that will never change no matter what you do. "
This book is a reminder that anxiety is about a call inward to fill your well, it's an opportunity to be curious and to be kind and to learn. It's an opportunity for wisdom and growth. What a kind and generous perspective. It's the kind of book that encourages action and growth through curiosity, openness and self-kindness instead of blame and shame. I am so incredibly grateful for the time I've spent with it and I know there will be times I will refer back to this to remember all of the wonderful and kind lessons she imparts.
Huge thanks to netgalley and sounds true for an early copy and for the opportunity to read this wonderful book.
I usually read a book in 1-2 days. I will sit with it, dive into it and then come up for air when I am done. I expected to do that with this book as well and I couldn't have been more wrong. This book turned out to be a journey for me. A journey through my own anxiety, my own childhood, my ability to be kind and generous with myself. I could not take this journey in one day, I needed it in bits and pieces, I needed to sit with it all.
I have highlighted 73 different sections in this book. I can't quote all of them here but here's one more that is the most resonant for me, especially as a parent but also for my own child-self:
"As a parent, one of my deepest desires is for my sons to know that they are loveable and loved exactly as they ae, no matter now angry, loud, messy, or disrespectful they are. I want them to know that all their feelings are welcome and important. I may not always like their behavior - and I let them know - but it doesn't alter my love for them, which is unchanging and eternal. I'll say to them "I didn't like how you treated your friend today, but nothing will ever change how much I love you." The message I hope to impart is: I love you because I love you. I don't love you because you're beautiful (even thought you are.) I don't love you because you're creative (although I do reflect back an awareness of your creativity.) I love you because I love you. And that will never change no matter what you do. "
This book is a reminder that anxiety is about a call inward to fill your well, it's an opportunity to be curious and to be kind and to learn. It's an opportunity for wisdom and growth. What a kind and generous perspective. It's the kind of book that encourages action and growth through curiosity, openness and self-kindness instead of blame and shame. I am so incredibly grateful for the time I've spent with it and I know there will be times I will refer back to this to remember all of the wonderful and kind lessons she imparts.
Huge thanks to netgalley and sounds true for an early copy and for the opportunity to read this wonderful book.
January 15, 2020
I didn't feel like my social anxiety related to this enough. Less information on anxiety, causes and treatments, more a celebration of anxiety and comfort for the reader. Lots of "there-there you're okay".
"Address your thoughts, challenge them, understand their causes." Basically this sentence reiterated again and again.
The only notes I got from this was:
How do you feel when your anxious?
Where do you feel it? What does your anxious body feel like?
Recommends a lot of slowing down and mindfulness
Discusses anxieties messages, cultures and society's effects on anxiety, dealing with anxiety in during transitions
Relates to the need to establish relationships with the inner parent.
Low blood sugar causes body to produce adrenaline which can affect and encourage anxiety. Snack often. Hypoglycemia can cause mood swings and outbursts.
Stimulating foods and drinks can encourage anxiety.
PMS is when we're actually stripped of other hormones to mask our true selves. Love this version of your self and see it as a message to what you need
Without a healthy tether, we can create obsessions and compulsions.
Started to get into the section on relationships where they discussed the difference between the distancer and pursuer. But then it just stopped! It just ended with "and that's for you to look more into yourself..."
"Address your thoughts, challenge them, understand their causes." Basically this sentence reiterated again and again.
The only notes I got from this was:
How do you feel when your anxious?
Where do you feel it? What does your anxious body feel like?
Recommends a lot of slowing down and mindfulness
Discusses anxieties messages, cultures and society's effects on anxiety, dealing with anxiety in during transitions
Relates to the need to establish relationships with the inner parent.
Low blood sugar causes body to produce adrenaline which can affect and encourage anxiety. Snack often. Hypoglycemia can cause mood swings and outbursts.
Stimulating foods and drinks can encourage anxiety.
PMS is when we're actually stripped of other hormones to mask our true selves. Love this version of your self and see it as a message to what you need
Without a healthy tether, we can create obsessions and compulsions.
Started to get into the section on relationships where they discussed the difference between the distancer and pursuer. But then it just stopped! It just ended with "and that's for you to look more into yourself..."
March 20, 2020
This book came at a time I really needed help with my issues, and it came via my sister as a gift. It became a book where I journaled my thoughts alongside topics and themes that really resonated with me. Passages and lines I had underlined in a moment of revelation and understanding. It suffices to say the help and rationality it poured into the insecure spaces of my pscyhe, is something that I will carry with me for the rest of my journey.
There are certain aspects in this book that seem like common sense and are things we’ve all heard before. But the way, the author addresses these “problems” with examples gave me an insight on how my anxiety functions and my intrusive thoughts (a word I wasn’t familar existed for thoughts such as mine) are in fact not my reality. A very optimistic approach to anxiety and how we can all move hand in hand with our fears, instead of “overcoming” them. As this book suggests anxiety isn’t something we can just get over, we learn to embrace it and tackle the needs that aren’t being fulfilled leading to that said anxiety.
I recommend everybody own this book, have it on their bedside and refer to it on a daily basis. I promise it will bring order to your chaos. Let’s work on becoming better consious beings together, kay?
There are certain aspects in this book that seem like common sense and are things we’ve all heard before. But the way, the author addresses these “problems” with examples gave me an insight on how my anxiety functions and my intrusive thoughts (a word I wasn’t familar existed for thoughts such as mine) are in fact not my reality. A very optimistic approach to anxiety and how we can all move hand in hand with our fears, instead of “overcoming” them. As this book suggests anxiety isn’t something we can just get over, we learn to embrace it and tackle the needs that aren’t being fulfilled leading to that said anxiety.
I recommend everybody own this book, have it on their bedside and refer to it on a daily basis. I promise it will bring order to your chaos. Let’s work on becoming better consious beings together, kay?
April 2, 2019
The 21st Century has been labeled by many as the Age of Anxiety. Nearly 300 million people worldwide have received anxiety diagnoses and millions more are undiagnosed. Anxiety, when balanced, is beneficial to us. It alerts us to what we should pay attention to, use caution toward or what to examine for more data. It’s helpful. It’s a natural human response that help us survive and thrive. It’s when anxiety becomes imbalanced that it becomes problematic. The reasons for the rise in anxiety disorders are many. The approach to eradicate it has become mainstream. Author Sheryl Paul proposes that anxiety should be approached first and foremost as a learning tool, stripping away the shame that is often attached to It which leads us on a quest to completely eradicate or hide it.
This book offers a holistic, spiritual (not to be confused with religious) and motivational approach to dealing with anxiety rather than a purely scientific approach. Much reference is made to the soul and spiritual healing. The typical accoutrements of anxiety, such as rumination, worry, intrusive thoughts and insomnia are covered alongside the concept of nonidentification (although not explicitly described as such). The assurances that we are not defined by our anxiety, our emotions or our challenges is consistently and comfortingly woven throughout the pages. I recommend this book to those whose self-esteem has taken a hit from their anxiety.
This book offers a holistic, spiritual (not to be confused with religious) and motivational approach to dealing with anxiety rather than a purely scientific approach. Much reference is made to the soul and spiritual healing. The typical accoutrements of anxiety, such as rumination, worry, intrusive thoughts and insomnia are covered alongside the concept of nonidentification (although not explicitly described as such). The assurances that we are not defined by our anxiety, our emotions or our challenges is consistently and comfortingly woven throughout the pages. I recommend this book to those whose self-esteem has taken a hit from their anxiety.
July 5, 2020
I had high hopes for this book. Instead I found that I had to drag myself through it for two main reasons.
1) The writing is excessively fluffy, especially in the first half of the book. I found myself wondering when the author would just get to the point. There are many examples of this type of writing, where metaphors are used and then much later the point emerges. One example is: "Transitions are ruptures in the soul, when the earth opens up and through the fissure, current and old pain energe". This is, for me, just adding fluffiness and really distracts from the message. I skipped an entire chapter because the author describes feelings etc. in the context of the four seasons...
2) The main point of the book is revealed early. Basically that we should look at what's underneath anxiety and approach it from a loving place. After this there was no direct approach on how to work specifically on looking at the root of issues. It was many chapters of quotes by other writers, metaphors, stories about the author's children and work as well as ideas that I've read before from other anxiety books. The book didn't really get going until the 9th chapter.
Another thing about the book is there are chapters that not everyone can relate too. There's many examples of the author and dealing with her children, as well as a whole chapter on dealing with your children's anxiety. Not everyone has children and I think more could have been directed towards a single person living life on their own. Also a chapter on being in a relationship which had some good ideas, but not everyone is in a marriage or committed relationship.
My biggest disappointment was that there were few new ideas on dealing with anxiety. Eating healthy excercise, meditation, a media diet etc. are all things I've read before. I was hoping for some new methods but other than the basic idea of looking beneath the surface there wasn't much else.
If you're new to self-help this may be helpful. Otherwise I would not recommend this book.
1) The writing is excessively fluffy, especially in the first half of the book. I found myself wondering when the author would just get to the point. There are many examples of this type of writing, where metaphors are used and then much later the point emerges. One example is: "Transitions are ruptures in the soul, when the earth opens up and through the fissure, current and old pain energe". This is, for me, just adding fluffiness and really distracts from the message. I skipped an entire chapter because the author describes feelings etc. in the context of the four seasons...
2) The main point of the book is revealed early. Basically that we should look at what's underneath anxiety and approach it from a loving place. After this there was no direct approach on how to work specifically on looking at the root of issues. It was many chapters of quotes by other writers, metaphors, stories about the author's children and work as well as ideas that I've read before from other anxiety books. The book didn't really get going until the 9th chapter.
Another thing about the book is there are chapters that not everyone can relate too. There's many examples of the author and dealing with her children, as well as a whole chapter on dealing with your children's anxiety. Not everyone has children and I think more could have been directed towards a single person living life on their own. Also a chapter on being in a relationship which had some good ideas, but not everyone is in a marriage or committed relationship.
My biggest disappointment was that there were few new ideas on dealing with anxiety. Eating healthy excercise, meditation, a media diet etc. are all things I've read before. I was hoping for some new methods but other than the basic idea of looking beneath the surface there wasn't much else.
If you're new to self-help this may be helpful. Otherwise I would not recommend this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 30, 2019
As someone who has dealt with pronounced anxiety most of my life, I would have to say that this is, by far, the best book I have read on the subject. The content is relatable to everyday life and encourages us to look inward, be open, be curious, and to be kind to ourselves. I took my time with this one, carefully reading, journaling, and understanding all of its wonderful parts. I will no doubt keep it on my bookshelf and re-read it from time to time. This book is sincerely an invaluable complement to living life with a different awareness of anxiety allowing our spirituality (not religious) to come forth and guide us without blame or reservation.
February 4, 2021
*4.5/5⭐️*
It's your typical self-help book...only that it's not...
I'll be honest I didn't have an "aha" moment at every theory this book had but most of the facts are quite literally what I needed to hear even if it hurt...even if I was angry at the author for seeing me. Being vulnerable is scary and yes this book will make you vulnerable, it will make you feel exposed like someone just decided to publish your deepest, darkest voices.
Now excuse me I'm off to nurture my inner child and
discipline my ego!
It's your typical self-help book...only that it's not...
I'll be honest I didn't have an "aha" moment at every theory this book had but most of the facts are quite literally what I needed to hear even if it hurt...even if I was angry at the author for seeing me. Being vulnerable is scary and yes this book will make you vulnerable, it will make you feel exposed like someone just decided to publish your deepest, darkest voices.
Now excuse me I'm off to nurture my inner child and
discipline my ego!
Read
January 24, 2024this was SO good. i can tell this is a book i will be able to come back to time and time again and always take away something new. as an anxious girlie, everything she said felt so validating and refreshing. the author talks about how to reframe your anxiety, understand it and use it to your benefit. it was also really helpful because she gave some actionable tips on what to do in anxious moments and she also talked about unlearning deep rooted thoughts and fears. this is a must read for anyone who struggles with anxiety.
September 28, 2023
Earnest, clear, and helpful despite it striving for a perfect life within a white picket fence.
February 25, 2020
I love the positive ring the title of this book has. It reflects the content of Paul’s work and her approach.
Although she uses words like soul, ego and self — inspired by Jungian psychoanalytic theory — I sometimes read and replaced these terms with Islamic ones like nafs, shaitan, and the rational god-given side of ourselves.
Paul’s message is simple: normalize and accept yourself as human — flawed, broken, traumatized, sad, lonely and anxious. Now work backwards, work inwards. Challenge your fears and worries. Ask yourself why questions alot. There is often a reason underlying the reason, and that can liberate you — just the process of identifying can liberate you, because now you know. And once you know, you can stop being a little afraid. Because ‘being in control’ is an illusion every anxious person is chasing.
Paul reminds you to trust yourself; within you are the resources to overcome storms. You’ve come so far in life because you have the innate power to survive, to be resilient; trust yourself and say a prayer for what is not in your control.
The book is divided into various segments to address anxiety that manifests in different ways in our lives such as in relationships and parenting. There are ‘to practice’ suggestions at the end of each segment. In some parts, Paul’s philosophical analogies did not work for me. But overall, this book feels like a salve for the soul — and who doesn’t want that? Would recommend to everryyyyone.
Although she uses words like soul, ego and self — inspired by Jungian psychoanalytic theory — I sometimes read and replaced these terms with Islamic ones like nafs, shaitan, and the rational god-given side of ourselves.
Paul’s message is simple: normalize and accept yourself as human — flawed, broken, traumatized, sad, lonely and anxious. Now work backwards, work inwards. Challenge your fears and worries. Ask yourself why questions alot. There is often a reason underlying the reason, and that can liberate you — just the process of identifying can liberate you, because now you know. And once you know, you can stop being a little afraid. Because ‘being in control’ is an illusion every anxious person is chasing.
Paul reminds you to trust yourself; within you are the resources to overcome storms. You’ve come so far in life because you have the innate power to survive, to be resilient; trust yourself and say a prayer for what is not in your control.
The book is divided into various segments to address anxiety that manifests in different ways in our lives such as in relationships and parenting. There are ‘to practice’ suggestions at the end of each segment. In some parts, Paul’s philosophical analogies did not work for me. But overall, this book feels like a salve for the soul — and who doesn’t want that? Would recommend to everryyyyone.
May 6, 2025
Interesting Perspective
Well written but coming from a mental health specialist background let me tell you, anxiety has many aspects. I never experienced it until 2023 when my world crashed and sheer terror took over. It can happen and this level of anxiety and panic are completely debilitating. Look for my book in 2027 when and if I get through this battle, it is relentless. I was the healthiest person I knew. This anxiety is not a gift.
Well written but coming from a mental health specialist background let me tell you, anxiety has many aspects. I never experienced it until 2023 when my world crashed and sheer terror took over. It can happen and this level of anxiety and panic are completely debilitating. Look for my book in 2027 when and if I get through this battle, it is relentless. I was the healthiest person I knew. This anxiety is not a gift.
December 9, 2019
I loved this book’s overall message. The idea that anxiety is a message carrier, rather than a thing to be fought or pushed away, is one that resonates well with me, despite what mainstream medicine often communicates to us through its prescriptions and medications.
We simply cannot ignore our inner worlds, Paul states. To do so would be to continually invite anxiety and disease into our lives. She’s absolutely right — our superficial, symptom-fighting culture often ignores this message, telling us we can medicate through shopping, eating, drinking, and the like. Yet, in reality, when we don’t confront the things we’ve buried deep, we’re really only inviting anxiety to stick around longer.
The first few chapters of this book are packed with this sort of thinking — opening up and listening to the messages our anxiety is trying to deliver. I really, really enjoyed them. After those first few chapters, however, I felt like the book started to get a little scattered. Though Paul always brings the discussion back to anxiety, there are parts of the book that feel more like general advice on how to live well.
Though I certainly welcome such advice, it didn’t always seem totally relevant to anxiety in general. For example, there are some sections on approaching the different seasons of the year that felt a bit misplaced. Yes, it’s all related to mental health, but it’s not always centered around anxiety. I think that’s worth noting before jumping in.
I listened to this one on Audible, and I had a tough time with the narrator. At times it sounded like she was whispering or trying to be too spiritual in her delivery. Often, while driving, I couldn’t get the audio loud enough to fully / clearly hear what she was saying. As such, I’d recommend the print version.
All of that said, this book is pretty solid. Its message is really important and profound, and it’s one that we often lose sight of in our hustle and bustle, consumerist society. If you’re looking for a new approach to anxiety, definitely give it a shot.
-Brian Sachetta
Author of “Get Out of Your Head”
We simply cannot ignore our inner worlds, Paul states. To do so would be to continually invite anxiety and disease into our lives. She’s absolutely right — our superficial, symptom-fighting culture often ignores this message, telling us we can medicate through shopping, eating, drinking, and the like. Yet, in reality, when we don’t confront the things we’ve buried deep, we’re really only inviting anxiety to stick around longer.
The first few chapters of this book are packed with this sort of thinking — opening up and listening to the messages our anxiety is trying to deliver. I really, really enjoyed them. After those first few chapters, however, I felt like the book started to get a little scattered. Though Paul always brings the discussion back to anxiety, there are parts of the book that feel more like general advice on how to live well.
Though I certainly welcome such advice, it didn’t always seem totally relevant to anxiety in general. For example, there are some sections on approaching the different seasons of the year that felt a bit misplaced. Yes, it’s all related to mental health, but it’s not always centered around anxiety. I think that’s worth noting before jumping in.
I listened to this one on Audible, and I had a tough time with the narrator. At times it sounded like she was whispering or trying to be too spiritual in her delivery. Often, while driving, I couldn’t get the audio loud enough to fully / clearly hear what she was saying. As such, I’d recommend the print version.
All of that said, this book is pretty solid. Its message is really important and profound, and it’s one that we often lose sight of in our hustle and bustle, consumerist society. If you’re looking for a new approach to anxiety, definitely give it a shot.
-Brian Sachetta
Author of “Get Out of Your Head”
November 30, 2019
Changed my life. 💕 I’ve never thought of anxiety and sensitivity as a gift before, but I can see now that it is so much more than something I initially thought was a burden or terrible. Sheryl has literally changed me for the better.
April 23, 2021
Life changing! The way Sheryl views anxiety makes so much sense. I honestly didn't want the book to end.
January 16, 2022
A refreshing perspective on the insights of our anxiety and why it is something to learn to honour rather than reject.
February 2, 2023
“This is the wisdom of anxiety: the call to turn inward so that you can fill your well and turn back outward to give to a world that needs you.”
The other day, my therapist said “feelings are just information”. This has stuck with me. As I learn to listen to my body and how I’m feeling, I can move through each feeling and problem with less anxiety and more curiosity. I’m manifesting that for myself in 2023, at least.
Everyone that suffers from anxious or repetitive thinking should read this.
The other day, my therapist said “feelings are just information”. This has stuck with me. As I learn to listen to my body and how I’m feeling, I can move through each feeling and problem with less anxiety and more curiosity. I’m manifesting that for myself in 2023, at least.
Everyone that suffers from anxious or repetitive thinking should read this.
April 10, 2022
Useful!
August 30, 2024
beautiful. brought up god at the very end… i was like huh? but other than that, such a wise read if you struggle with any sort of anxiety.
April 25, 2025
Vond het een mooi boek waar ik wel wat dingetjes heb uitgehaald. Niet lifechanging maar een prettig boek. Het gaat vooral in op angst in relaties etc, minder op gewoon “bang zijn”. Ergens jammer, want dat laatste had ik ook bruikbaar gevonden.
“Moed is niet de afwezigheid van angst. Afwezigheid van angst is een vorm van hersenbeschadiging. Moed is het vermogen om door te gaan ondanks angst
Liefde is niet de afwezigheid van angst, en liefde is geen gevoel, maar eerder de bereidheid om de angst te bevechten
De vier cruciale elementen: nieuwsgierigheid, vriendelijkheid, rust en dankbaarheid
Wij mensen hebben eigenlijk maar één echte taak te vervullen in het leven: help mensen zich te realiseren hoe uniek en waardevol ieder individu eigenlijk is. Iedereen bezit iets daadwerkelijk authentieks, iets wat niemand anders heeft, niemand ooit zal hebben en wat volkomen uniek is in de geschiedenis van de mensheid. Het is onze taak om elkaar aan te sporen om dat te ontdekken en manieren te vinden om die uniciteit uit te drukken.
FRED ROGERS
Wie last heeft van angst, vertoont vooral als het op beslissen aankomt vaak de neiging te bevriezen als een konijn in een paar koplampen.
Dat komt door de angst om een ‘verkeerde’ beslissing te nemen waar je spijt van krijgt. Daarmee val je ofwel ten prooi aan de overtuiging dat er überhaupt zoiets bestaat als perfectie, of aan de angst dat je iets misloopt. We zijn tot op het bot geconditioneerd om te denken dat er, zelfs bij de minst belangrijke keuzes in het leven, een ‘goede’ en een ‘foute’ optie zou bestaan en we zijn doodsbang om het verkeerd te doen
Zodra je bemerkt dat je de woorden ‘zou moeten’ gebruikt, stop je met de redenering en vraag je in plaats daarvan aan jezelf wat het meest liefdevolle zou zijn dat je in dat geval voor jezelf en anderen zou kunnen doen.
innerlijk werk kent geen negatieve uitkomsten. Je ego is gewoon bang voor verandering en probeert je ervan te overtuigen om net te doen alsof alles prima in orde is zoals het is. Maar met angst en spanning aan het stuur is er helemaal niets in orde. En hoe meer je naar binnen durft te keren en de moed vindt om de kwetsbaarheid van het moment op te zoeken, die rauwe, schurende plekken onderzoekt, hoe meer vrijheid je ervaart.
Er bestaat ruimte tussen prikkels en de reacties daarop. In die ruimte huist onze kracht om onze reactie zelf te kiezen. In onze reactie vinden we onze groei en onze vrijheid.
Wil ik me blijven richten op de illusie van maakbaarheid en controle, of is het beter om te leren wat het inhoudt om te leven vanuit liefde?’ Als je wilt leren wat het inhoudt om liefdevol naar jezelf en naar anderen te zijn, moet je de controle durven loslaten.
De controle laten varen is een proces dat elke dag en soms elk uur aandacht van je vraagt. Het is zonder twijfel een angstaanjagende keuze. Een keuze die dwars ingaat tegen elke illusie van controle die je gedurende je hele leven voor jezelf hebt geconstrueerd. Stel je voor dat je op de klif van de eeuwigheid staat en de oneindige diepte in springt. Laat jezelf die doodsangst voelen. Sta jezelf toe om het mysterie van het leven te omhelzen in plaats van krampachtig vast te houden aan wat je denkt te kunnen beheersen
Er is een kamer in je hart waar je verdriet ronddoolt. Elk pijnlijk verhaal leeft daar als een stijf bevroren lichtdeeltje dat op jou wacht om het te zien, vast te houden, in een dekentje te wikkelen en een kopje thee te brengen. Als je jouw kamer van verdriet met liefde kunt bezoeken, beginnen die deeltjes te flikkeren en te bewegen. Ze dansen zelfs, want alles verlangt ernaar gezien te worden en geliefd te zijn. En dat geldt vooral voor onze pijn.
Het is makkelijk om te vallen voor de overtuiging dat verlangen vraagt om actie: ‘Als ik af en toe verlang naar een derde kindje, betekent dit dat ik een derde kind moet hebben.’ Of als ik een dochter wil, dat ik dan ook een dochter moet hebben. In staat te zijn een gevoel te hebben zonder daar onmiddellijk actie op te ondernemen is onderdeel van je groeiproces. Leer het vertrouwen te ontwikkelen dat je geen enkele actie hoeft te ondernemen, anders dan je bewust te zijn van gevoelens en ze de aandacht te geven die ze verdienen.
Ik rouw en ik vier, verlies en heb lief, verlang naar iets wat er niet is en ben tegelijkertijd dankbaar voor wat er wel is. Er is ruimte genoeg voor alles.
Probeer de volgende keer dat je een steek van verlangen voelt nieuwsgierig te worden naar wat het je wil vertellen. Stel vast of je te maken hebt met een diep of een secundair verlangen. Houd daarbij goed in gedachten dat een angstige geest makkelijk gepaaid raakt door de eerste interpretatie(s) die voorbijkomen, en zo verergert je angst alleen maar. Stel je in plaats daarvan voor dat je verlangen een hand is die wordt aangeboden om je naar de onderste lagen van jezelf te begeleiden. Laat nieuwsgierigheid je gids en geduld je reisgenoot zijn, zodat ze je naar je wijsheid kunnen leiden”
“Moed is niet de afwezigheid van angst. Afwezigheid van angst is een vorm van hersenbeschadiging. Moed is het vermogen om door te gaan ondanks angst
Liefde is niet de afwezigheid van angst, en liefde is geen gevoel, maar eerder de bereidheid om de angst te bevechten
De vier cruciale elementen: nieuwsgierigheid, vriendelijkheid, rust en dankbaarheid
Wij mensen hebben eigenlijk maar één echte taak te vervullen in het leven: help mensen zich te realiseren hoe uniek en waardevol ieder individu eigenlijk is. Iedereen bezit iets daadwerkelijk authentieks, iets wat niemand anders heeft, niemand ooit zal hebben en wat volkomen uniek is in de geschiedenis van de mensheid. Het is onze taak om elkaar aan te sporen om dat te ontdekken en manieren te vinden om die uniciteit uit te drukken.
FRED ROGERS
Wie last heeft van angst, vertoont vooral als het op beslissen aankomt vaak de neiging te bevriezen als een konijn in een paar koplampen.
Dat komt door de angst om een ‘verkeerde’ beslissing te nemen waar je spijt van krijgt. Daarmee val je ofwel ten prooi aan de overtuiging dat er überhaupt zoiets bestaat als perfectie, of aan de angst dat je iets misloopt. We zijn tot op het bot geconditioneerd om te denken dat er, zelfs bij de minst belangrijke keuzes in het leven, een ‘goede’ en een ‘foute’ optie zou bestaan en we zijn doodsbang om het verkeerd te doen
Zodra je bemerkt dat je de woorden ‘zou moeten’ gebruikt, stop je met de redenering en vraag je in plaats daarvan aan jezelf wat het meest liefdevolle zou zijn dat je in dat geval voor jezelf en anderen zou kunnen doen.
innerlijk werk kent geen negatieve uitkomsten. Je ego is gewoon bang voor verandering en probeert je ervan te overtuigen om net te doen alsof alles prima in orde is zoals het is. Maar met angst en spanning aan het stuur is er helemaal niets in orde. En hoe meer je naar binnen durft te keren en de moed vindt om de kwetsbaarheid van het moment op te zoeken, die rauwe, schurende plekken onderzoekt, hoe meer vrijheid je ervaart.
Er bestaat ruimte tussen prikkels en de reacties daarop. In die ruimte huist onze kracht om onze reactie zelf te kiezen. In onze reactie vinden we onze groei en onze vrijheid.
Wil ik me blijven richten op de illusie van maakbaarheid en controle, of is het beter om te leren wat het inhoudt om te leven vanuit liefde?’ Als je wilt leren wat het inhoudt om liefdevol naar jezelf en naar anderen te zijn, moet je de controle durven loslaten.
De controle laten varen is een proces dat elke dag en soms elk uur aandacht van je vraagt. Het is zonder twijfel een angstaanjagende keuze. Een keuze die dwars ingaat tegen elke illusie van controle die je gedurende je hele leven voor jezelf hebt geconstrueerd. Stel je voor dat je op de klif van de eeuwigheid staat en de oneindige diepte in springt. Laat jezelf die doodsangst voelen. Sta jezelf toe om het mysterie van het leven te omhelzen in plaats van krampachtig vast te houden aan wat je denkt te kunnen beheersen
Er is een kamer in je hart waar je verdriet ronddoolt. Elk pijnlijk verhaal leeft daar als een stijf bevroren lichtdeeltje dat op jou wacht om het te zien, vast te houden, in een dekentje te wikkelen en een kopje thee te brengen. Als je jouw kamer van verdriet met liefde kunt bezoeken, beginnen die deeltjes te flikkeren en te bewegen. Ze dansen zelfs, want alles verlangt ernaar gezien te worden en geliefd te zijn. En dat geldt vooral voor onze pijn.
Het is makkelijk om te vallen voor de overtuiging dat verlangen vraagt om actie: ‘Als ik af en toe verlang naar een derde kindje, betekent dit dat ik een derde kind moet hebben.’ Of als ik een dochter wil, dat ik dan ook een dochter moet hebben. In staat te zijn een gevoel te hebben zonder daar onmiddellijk actie op te ondernemen is onderdeel van je groeiproces. Leer het vertrouwen te ontwikkelen dat je geen enkele actie hoeft te ondernemen, anders dan je bewust te zijn van gevoelens en ze de aandacht te geven die ze verdienen.
Ik rouw en ik vier, verlies en heb lief, verlang naar iets wat er niet is en ben tegelijkertijd dankbaar voor wat er wel is. Er is ruimte genoeg voor alles.
Probeer de volgende keer dat je een steek van verlangen voelt nieuwsgierig te worden naar wat het je wil vertellen. Stel vast of je te maken hebt met een diep of een secundair verlangen. Houd daarbij goed in gedachten dat een angstige geest makkelijk gepaaid raakt door de eerste interpretatie(s) die voorbijkomen, en zo verergert je angst alleen maar. Stel je in plaats daarvan voor dat je verlangen een hand is die wordt aangeboden om je naar de onderste lagen van jezelf te begeleiden. Laat nieuwsgierigheid je gids en geduld je reisgenoot zijn, zodat ze je naar je wijsheid kunnen leiden”
December 27, 2024
Bästa jag läst i år! Alla som doppar sin tass i ångest ibland eller ofta måste läsa denna. så fin
May 9, 2020
A keeper, guidebook and tool for those who suffer from anxiety.
December 14, 2024
Overall, this was a valuable read. At times, I found myself rolling my eyes or clenching my teeth at some of the examples – some of the markers of privilege, the intense earnestness, or the unrealistic time suggested to respond to various experiences. However, I ultimately benefited from the wisdom the author was sharing. Some of the content was very useful, and I was able to try some of her suggested practices right away. I would recommend this book with a slight disclaimer and encouragement to persist.
October 14, 2023
De prachtige paarse cover is door de opvallende kleur direct een eyecatcher voor het oog tussen alle andere boeken. Ik vind de manier waarop de gouden scheuren verwijzen naar spanning, stress, zorgen en onzekerheid mooi verbeeld. De typografie sluit hier goed bij aan. Wel is het een onwijs lange titel, maar die geeft wel direct een beeld van wat ik van het boek kan gaan verwachten. Namelijk dat het me gaat laten zien wat deze signalen van mijn lichaam me vertellen en hoe ik daar het beste naar kan handelen. Ik heb hoge verwachtingen en ik hoop ook een hoop te leren en mooie inzichten te krijgen.
Hoe kan je het beste omgaan met angst, stress, zorgen, onzekerheid en spanning? Leer deze signalen kennen zodat je ze kan helen. Angst zorgt vaak voor chronisch gepieker, paniekaanvallen, obsessies, dwangneuroses, slapeloosheid of lichamelijke klachten. Ofwel het is een op hol geslagen gevoeligheid. Zorg dat je compassie krijgt voor je angsten. Sheryl Paul laat je zien hoe je met heldere oefeningen tot diepere lagen van angst kan komen en deze kan ontcijferen en helen. Hierdoor hoef je niet langer bang te zijn van je angsten.
Het verhaal is op een hele heldere, toegankelijke en open wijze geschreven. Hierdoor leest het boek erg gemakkelijk en blijft Sheryl Paul voor mij echt bij de essentie van de onderwerpen die in het boek aan bod komen.
Het boek is opgedeeld in drie delen; Wat angst je wilt vertellen, De vier domeinen van het zelf: angst helen vanaf de basis en in deel drie komen relaties aan bod. Ieder deel heeft een hele heldere opbouw en neemt je stap voor stap door het proces van angst herkennen, er naar luisteren en angst helen heen. Gedurende de heldere uitleg van Sheryl Paul komen ook goede oefeningen aan bod die duidelijk stap voor stap uitgelegd worden. De oefeningen zijn veelal mindfulness oefeningen en schrijfoefeningen.
Het is echt een boek dat inspirerend is en me onwijs mooie inzichten geeft, waar ik ook echt iets aan heb en mee kan. Zo zie ik in dat ik een eeuwige zoektocht hou naar antwoorden, maar ik heb ook geleerd hoe heling verloopt, hoe je je leven kan inrichten naar de seizoenen, hoe angst zich manifesteert en het aangaan van je angsten. Hierdoor heeft Sheryl Paul me absoluut met andere ogen naar angst en stress laten kijken. Je lichaam geeft deze signalen namelijk niet voor niets en hoe je hierop reageert en handelt is allesbepalend. De inspirerende citaten aan het begin van ieder hoofdstuk vind ik een rijke en sterke toevoeging.
De verborgen wijsheid van spanning, stress, zorgen en onzekerheid is een super leerzaam, inspirerend en goed boek. Buiten dat Sheryl Paul op hele heldere en toegankelijke wijze uitleg geeft over alles rondom stress en angst, komen er in het boek ook direct goede oefeningen aan bod om hier zelf mee aan de slag te gaan. Het boek heeft mijn ogen zeker geopend en ik raad iedereen aan die veel stress en angst ervaart dit mooie boek te gaan lezen.
Hoe kan je het beste omgaan met angst, stress, zorgen, onzekerheid en spanning? Leer deze signalen kennen zodat je ze kan helen. Angst zorgt vaak voor chronisch gepieker, paniekaanvallen, obsessies, dwangneuroses, slapeloosheid of lichamelijke klachten. Ofwel het is een op hol geslagen gevoeligheid. Zorg dat je compassie krijgt voor je angsten. Sheryl Paul laat je zien hoe je met heldere oefeningen tot diepere lagen van angst kan komen en deze kan ontcijferen en helen. Hierdoor hoef je niet langer bang te zijn van je angsten.
Het verhaal is op een hele heldere, toegankelijke en open wijze geschreven. Hierdoor leest het boek erg gemakkelijk en blijft Sheryl Paul voor mij echt bij de essentie van de onderwerpen die in het boek aan bod komen.
Het boek is opgedeeld in drie delen; Wat angst je wilt vertellen, De vier domeinen van het zelf: angst helen vanaf de basis en in deel drie komen relaties aan bod. Ieder deel heeft een hele heldere opbouw en neemt je stap voor stap door het proces van angst herkennen, er naar luisteren en angst helen heen. Gedurende de heldere uitleg van Sheryl Paul komen ook goede oefeningen aan bod die duidelijk stap voor stap uitgelegd worden. De oefeningen zijn veelal mindfulness oefeningen en schrijfoefeningen.
Het is echt een boek dat inspirerend is en me onwijs mooie inzichten geeft, waar ik ook echt iets aan heb en mee kan. Zo zie ik in dat ik een eeuwige zoektocht hou naar antwoorden, maar ik heb ook geleerd hoe heling verloopt, hoe je je leven kan inrichten naar de seizoenen, hoe angst zich manifesteert en het aangaan van je angsten. Hierdoor heeft Sheryl Paul me absoluut met andere ogen naar angst en stress laten kijken. Je lichaam geeft deze signalen namelijk niet voor niets en hoe je hierop reageert en handelt is allesbepalend. De inspirerende citaten aan het begin van ieder hoofdstuk vind ik een rijke en sterke toevoeging.
De verborgen wijsheid van spanning, stress, zorgen en onzekerheid is een super leerzaam, inspirerend en goed boek. Buiten dat Sheryl Paul op hele heldere en toegankelijke wijze uitleg geeft over alles rondom stress en angst, komen er in het boek ook direct goede oefeningen aan bod om hier zelf mee aan de slag te gaan. Het boek heeft mijn ogen zeker geopend en ik raad iedereen aan die veel stress en angst ervaart dit mooie boek te gaan lezen.
December 6, 2019
TBH, I get more out of her Instagram account. somehow having it all together makes it overwhelming and watered-down, whereas small, topic-specific bite sized chunks with reflective questions is way easier to process each day.
The question "what is this intrusive thought protecting me from feeling?" has been life-changing. Her ability to soften the message of anxiety, ask the reader to look below the surface and see what's actually happening below it, is really on point. she has put to words that anxiety isn't our intuition telling us something is wrong- it's a surface message that is protecting us from feeling our true hearts and addressing what is actually happening. that has been helpful. and her comfort in saying anxiety is a helpful messenger, not a life sentence to unhappiness, is a healthier way to see a 'problem' that affects so many.
read the TOC and flip to parts that interest you most first, because otherwise it all meshes together and starts to read like a theoretical book on anxiety and is less useful.
probs a good book to buy for reference and making notes in the margins. some of it is really good. I think a book by Sheryl in 20 years will be even better as she learns more and fine-tunes her points.
The question "what is this intrusive thought protecting me from feeling?" has been life-changing. Her ability to soften the message of anxiety, ask the reader to look below the surface and see what's actually happening below it, is really on point. she has put to words that anxiety isn't our intuition telling us something is wrong- it's a surface message that is protecting us from feeling our true hearts and addressing what is actually happening. that has been helpful. and her comfort in saying anxiety is a helpful messenger, not a life sentence to unhappiness, is a healthier way to see a 'problem' that affects so many.
read the TOC and flip to parts that interest you most first, because otherwise it all meshes together and starts to read like a theoretical book on anxiety and is less useful.
probs a good book to buy for reference and making notes in the margins. some of it is really good. I think a book by Sheryl in 20 years will be even better as she learns more and fine-tunes her points.
October 30, 2019
There isn’t really anything too groundbreaking here—but what it lacks in originality (not a necessary condition for a good book), it more than makes up for in clarity and wisdom. I would highly recommend that everyone, regardless of their relationship with anxiety, read this book. If you don’t struggle with anxiety, it’s likely that either you or someone you love will at some point in your life.
November 29, 2023
I am absolutely enamored by this book. As someone who struggles with anxiety, this was an incredibly enlightening read and I plan to re-read it over and over again.
My therapist passed it off to me and the book has resonated so deeply with me.
I have constantly been recommending it to friends, so I highly recommend it (even if you don’t think you’ve got anxiety).
My therapist passed it off to me and the book has resonated so deeply with me.
I have constantly been recommending it to friends, so I highly recommend it (even if you don’t think you’ve got anxiety).
September 16, 2019
Ahhh yes! This book. This is to anxiety what Radical Forgiveness is to anger and blame. I'd never thought to be grateful for anxiety, to listen to the message behind it. This is a game-changer for me. I especially enjoyed the section about loneliness/solitude and anxiety in relationships.
December 29, 2019
This is not just for people with diagnosed anxiety. Everyone has periods of anxiety sometimes.
I have read a lot of books on this topic, this was one of the best and most helpful ones <3
I have read a lot of books on this topic, this was one of the best and most helpful ones <3
January 31, 2020
Yes! Going inward is the only way to help with anxiety. Stop fighting it and listen to what it has to say.
April 9, 2023
Spiritual stuff aside, I really loved this book. I'm even thinking about buying the physical copy since it has helped me so much with how I think about my anxiety.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 224 reviews