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The Knock at the Door: Three Gold Star Families Bonded by Grief and Purpose
Three Gold Star women, linked forever by unimaginable loss, share their inspiring, unlikely journey that began on the worst day of their lives.
What happens when tragedy knocks on your front door?
For us, it was a literal knock, with two men standing in crisply pressed uniforms. They had news. News that gutted us to the core -- the death of our loved ones, a brother and two husbands -- in combat zones. The thing about those moments is that it's almost inconceivable that they can happen to you. That is, until they do.
This book is for anyone who has ever received a knock at the door. And if you live long enough and have the courage to love others, you will. Maybe it's a cancer diagnosis. Maybe it's the death of your best friend. The betrayal of a spouse. The loss of a child. The implosion of a professional career. Or any tragedy that takes the person we love the most away from us too soon. Life is not without its challenges. The key is how you respond.
This is our story. The story of three women, bonded by grief and purpose. Grief because we lost our best friends in war. Purpose because we resolved -- together -- to do something about it. To turn loss into inspiration for others and to channel the love that we had for the men in our lives into love for others through service. It was the only way we could escape the trap of despair and inaction, and we believe it offers a roadmap for anyone else who has ever had to answer a knock at the door.
What happens when tragedy knocks on your front door?
For us, it was a literal knock, with two men standing in crisply pressed uniforms. They had news. News that gutted us to the core -- the death of our loved ones, a brother and two husbands -- in combat zones. The thing about those moments is that it's almost inconceivable that they can happen to you. That is, until they do.
This book is for anyone who has ever received a knock at the door. And if you live long enough and have the courage to love others, you will. Maybe it's a cancer diagnosis. Maybe it's the death of your best friend. The betrayal of a spouse. The loss of a child. The implosion of a professional career. Or any tragedy that takes the person we love the most away from us too soon. Life is not without its challenges. The key is how you respond.
This is our story. The story of three women, bonded by grief and purpose. Grief because we lost our best friends in war. Purpose because we resolved -- together -- to do something about it. To turn loss into inspiration for others and to channel the love that we had for the men in our lives into love for others through service. It was the only way we could escape the trap of despair and inaction, and we believe it offers a roadmap for anyone else who has ever had to answer a knock at the door.
288 pages, Hardcover
Published November 5, 2019
31 people are currently reading
1133 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
December 28, 2024
It hurt more than I expected to read, but hearing from other Gold Star families who have learned to live with grief in a healthy way is so good.
December 24, 2020
For three women who experienced the loss of a loved one killed in action, Manion, Kelly, and Looney Heffernan write their stories in an incredibly approachable way. Readers might go into this thinking that they have nothing in common with the struggles that these women have faced, but they each so graciously present the lessons they've learned as a universal part of life--much like personal tragedy itself. "The Knock at the Door" is easy to read and provides a worthwhile perspective.
November 17, 2019
This is a beautiful book about the path three different women have traveled after getting "the knock at the door". It is both a memoir and a resource for others receiving horrible news. The death of a loved one was their knock, but we may all have "knocks" throughout our lives. I live in Annapolis, MD where two of their loved ones attended the US Naval Academy, which my husband graduated from a few years before and he worked there while they were students. I have heard their story and participated in Travis Manion events with my husband and son for years, but it was inspiring to read about how the family members have navigated their lives without Travis, Brendan, and Rob.
November 18, 2019
“I truly believe that good begets more good; that pain shared is halved, and joy shared is doubled.” —Ryan Manion
I’m grateful to these three women— Ryan, Amy and Heather— for sharing their pain and their joy. I’m grateful to Travis, Brendan and Rob for inspiring those of us who enjoy all the freedoms of America due in part to their ultimate sacrifice to live as they did: boldly, selflessly, in service to others & a greater good.
Highly recommend this book to anyone who has grieved, is grieving or will grieve— and spoiler alert, that’s all of us.
I’m grateful to these three women— Ryan, Amy and Heather— for sharing their pain and their joy. I’m grateful to Travis, Brendan and Rob for inspiring those of us who enjoy all the freedoms of America due in part to their ultimate sacrifice to live as they did: boldly, selflessly, in service to others & a greater good.
Highly recommend this book to anyone who has grieved, is grieving or will grieve— and spoiler alert, that’s all of us.
February 15, 2020
“Pain shared is halved; Joy shared is doubled”. What a statement!
This book hits you in your core! It doesn’t matter if you have lost someone to cancer, old age, or war...death leaves a hole in us. In this book three women share their story of how the worst day of their lives (the day two of them lost their husbands and ones lost her brother) brought them together and brought them strength! Remarkable stories honoring the men who lost their lives fighting for our country and the families left behind.
This book hits you in your core! It doesn’t matter if you have lost someone to cancer, old age, or war...death leaves a hole in us. In this book three women share their story of how the worst day of their lives (the day two of them lost their husbands and ones lost her brother) brought them together and brought them strength! Remarkable stories honoring the men who lost their lives fighting for our country and the families left behind.
January 7, 2025
“Because hurt is hurt and pain is pain. There is no point in comparing our tragedies. Who wants to measure one person’s cancer diagnosis against another’s addiction against another’s trauma? As if that’s a game that anyone wants to win anyway”
“Relationships are everything, family, friends and loved ones can get us through our darkest and saddest moments. We just need to let them.”
“‘What if’ weighs a lot?”
“There’s a secret rule to the ‘What if?’ game that very few people know about. It’s a two way street. People tend to forget that you can’t simply imagine the thousands of tiny, lamentable decisions that made your life go wrong without also considering the millions of fortuitous choices you made that caused your life to go right.”
“We are not on this earth to simply endure. We are here to live.”
“This is the beauty of friendship. Friends can’t take away the hurt that life throws at us, and good ones don’t bother trying. They just sit patiently and hold your hand through the process. They don’t try to erase your bad feelings or gloss over your experiences.”
“Choose your friends and your role models carefully. You’ll begin to see yourself reflected in them.”
“Good begets more good; that pain shared is halved, and joy shared is doubled.”
“Pain and struggle offer us the gift of perspective”
“Relationships are everything, family, friends and loved ones can get us through our darkest and saddest moments. We just need to let them.”
“‘What if’ weighs a lot?”
“There’s a secret rule to the ‘What if?’ game that very few people know about. It’s a two way street. People tend to forget that you can’t simply imagine the thousands of tiny, lamentable decisions that made your life go wrong without also considering the millions of fortuitous choices you made that caused your life to go right.”
“We are not on this earth to simply endure. We are here to live.”
“This is the beauty of friendship. Friends can’t take away the hurt that life throws at us, and good ones don’t bother trying. They just sit patiently and hold your hand through the process. They don’t try to erase your bad feelings or gloss over your experiences.”
“Choose your friends and your role models carefully. You’ll begin to see yourself reflected in them.”
“Good begets more good; that pain shared is halved, and joy shared is doubled.”
“Pain and struggle offer us the gift of perspective”
July 28, 2022
A great read for anyone seeking to learn the stories of three different women who tragically lost a loved one in combat, and their journeys to overcoming their grief. Having received the proverbial “knock at the door” through a phone call, I empathized with the pain each of them had, and felt they did a great job explaining the sorrow and confusion that comes overtime dealing with such an immediate loss. I feel it took a great deal of vulnerability from each author to write this piece.
January 21, 2020
A very good book from 3 ladies who lost their Marine loved ones (a brother and husbands) in Iraq and Afghanistan and how they each coped with their loss and the “lessons” they have learned about themselves and the grieving process. Each woman describes her life before, during and after the “knock at the door”. Well worth reading (and not nearly as sad as I expected).
February 15, 2020
This was a great read. I learned a lot about death and grieving. These three women had so much courage. Hearing about the pain they had to go through is so hard, but the way they managed to put the pieces back together after such losses is really an inspiration. Kudos to these amazing women for sharing so openly!
**I won a copy of this wonderful book in a goodreads giveaway**
**I won a copy of this wonderful book in a goodreads giveaway**
September 19, 2020
Powerfully Meaningful!
As a retired hospital Chaplain, I’ve worked extensively with dying patients and their families. I wish I had this work before retiring, the authors provide in human terms the reality of meaningful survival. Nothing I write will add to this arduous and wonderful work. Just read it!
As a retired hospital Chaplain, I’ve worked extensively with dying patients and their families. I wish I had this work before retiring, the authors provide in human terms the reality of meaningful survival. Nothing I write will add to this arduous and wonderful work. Just read it!
December 12, 2019
Incredible book. So many fantastic teaching points, by three very real, very human, and very warm people. It’s on my shelf with my most favorite books, and I would put the lessons in it up there with the best personal growth books ever written.
June 21, 2020
Nice insight on what families go through. They all speak from a place of those very privileged and may not speak for military families that do not have their resources, but still a good read for tidbits on how to pick yourself up when a tragedy happens.
August 17, 2020
Loved this book. Great insight from Ryan after the loss of her brother and his best friend. I would suggest reading Brothers Forever before reading The Knock at the Door. It will give a terrific back story, and it also happens to be one of my favorite books I've read.
June 17, 2023
For Memorial Day, I decided to dive in a read stories of more Gold Star families. In addition to the one I know and love, it was a privilege to read the stories of these three courageous women who answered the call of living purposely when they received their “knock on the door.”
November 14, 2019
Good book but not alot of substance
November 21, 2019
Just what I needed, when I needed it
January 1, 2020
Bread book
Three great stories. Great lessons on how they were able to deal with grief. You will probably need some tissues
Three great stories. Great lessons on how they were able to deal with grief. You will probably need some tissues
January 14, 2020
Everyone can gain some insight about their own "The Knock at the Door" by reading this book.
May 15, 2021
A very touching story. An easy read with some great advice from lessons learned the hard way. Inspirational stories. You will laugh and cry. “If not me, than who.” Semper Fidelis
May 23, 2022
"Pain shared is halved, and joy shared is doubled."
An authentic, emotional, and raw memoir which honors the lives of many heroes. A powerful and relevant read for military and nonmilitary alike.
An authentic, emotional, and raw memoir which honors the lives of many heroes. A powerful and relevant read for military and nonmilitary alike.
July 13, 2024
This pulls at the heart strings.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews