The Right Questions - Ten Essential Questions To Guide You To An Extraordinary Life

by Debbie Ford

New York Times number–one bestselling author Debbie Ford presents revolutionary questions that, when answered with complete honesty, change the way we see ourselves and make decisions – ultimately moving us toward the life we desire.

The realities of the life we live today are a result of the choices we made yesterday, three months ago and three years ago. But we don't wind up $50,000 dollars in debt because of one extravagant purchase. Nor do we put on 30 unwanted pounds as a result of a couple of decadent meals. And our relationships certainly don't fall apart overnight because of one decision. We are where we are because of repeated unconscious choices made day after day. If we want to understand why and how we created our present day reality, all we need to do is look at the choices we made in the past. Ford cuts right through our denial with the 10 questions that immediately reveal the true motivations behind our thoughts and actions. But more than that, by rigorously and honestly asking and answering these 10 vital questions, we regain control and have the power necessary to create the life we always wanted.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Personal Development, Spirituality, Inspirational, Philosophy

224 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Debbie Ford was an American author of self-help books. Her first book, "The Dark Side Of The Light Chasers", spawned eight more books in the genre and dealt with confronting one's "dark side" rather than ignoring it. Ford also hosted television and radio shows related to her books.

She passed away due to complications from cancer in 2013.

Reviews

[Christopher Selmek · Rating 3 out of 5]

1. Will This Choice Propel Me Toward an Inspiring Future or Will It Keep Me Stuck in the Past?
2. Will This Choice Bring Me Long-Term Fulfillment or Will It Bring Me Short-Term Gratification?
3. Am I Standing in My Power or Am I Trying to Please Another?
4. Am I Looking for What is Right or Am I Looking for What is Wrong?
5. Will This Choice Add to My Life Force or Will It Rob Me of My Energy?
6. Will I Use This Situation as a Catalyst to Grow and Evolve or Will I Use It to Beat Myself Up?
7. Does This Choice Empower Me or Does It Disempower Me?
8. Is This an Act of Self-Love or Is It an Act of Self-Sabatoge?
9. Is This an Act of Faith or Is It an Act of Fear?
10. Am I Choosing from My Divinity or Am I Choosing from My Humanity?

[kian · Rating 5 out of 5]

یکی از فوق العاده ترین کتابهای خودیاری ای که تا حالا خوندم.


این کتاب از خانم دبی فورد درباره اهمیت «انتخاب ها» در زندگی ماست. چند جمله ازش:


-آیا کارهای شما با اهدافتان هماهنگ است؟
باید هر انتخابی را زیر سوال ببریم.
دنیای بیرونی ما بازتاب تعهدات درونی ماست
آیا چنین انتخابی برای من خشنودی درازمدت به بار می آورد یا لذتی گذرا در بر دارد؟
آینده شما بر مبنای انتخابهای امروزتان تعیین میشود

[Hengameh · Rating 4 out of 5]

می خواستم به طرز سخت گیرانه ای بهش 3 ستاره بدم ولی فکر کردم دلم میخواد آدم های بیشتری کتابای ساده ای از این دست بخونن و تغییراتی هرچند
.کوچیک در زندگیشون به وجود بیارن، پس این 4 ستاره دعوتی باشه از طرف من به شما برای خوندن این کتاب
اعتقاد دارم تغییر از جایی شروع میشه که احساس کنیم بهش نیاز داریم پس از روی بیکاری یا برای قضاوت این کتاب رو نخونید. اگر فکر میکنید درتصمیم گیری به مشکل برخوردید، یا به شک افتادید یا توی شرایطی گیر کردین که از تمام گذشته و انتخاب هاتون نامطمئن شدین و فکر می کنین باید تغییری در خودتون به وجود بیارید در جهت بهتر... در این صورته که می تونم بگم به عنوان قدم کوچک اول شاید بد نباشه این کتاب رو بخونید و اندکی آگاهی عمومیتون رو از فاکتورهای موثر در انتخاب هاتون بالا ببرید.

توی کتاب 10 سوال مطرح میشه و این سوال ها قراره راهنمای ما باشن برای درست انتخاب کردن، سوال ها به شرح زیرن
(انگلیسیشو کپی میکنم چون بعضیاش توی ترجمه فارسی به دلم ننشست)
1. Will This Choice Propel Me Toward an Inspiring Future or Will It Keep Me Stuck in the Past?
2. Will This Choice Bring Me Long-Term Fulfillment or Will It Bring Me Short-Term Gratification?
3. Am I Standing in My Power or Am I Trying to Please Another?
4. Am I Looking for What is Right or Am I Looking for What is Wrong?
5. Will This Choice Add to My Life Force or Will It Rob Me of My Energy?
6. Will I Use This Situation as a Catalyst to Grow and Evolve or Will I Use It to Beat Myself Up?
7. Does This Choice Empower Me or Does It Disempower Me?
8. Is This an Act of Self-Love or Is It an Act of Self-Sabatoge?
9. Is This an Act of Faith or Is It an Act of Fear?
10. Am I Choosing from My Divinity or Am I Choosing from My Humanity?

در ادامه ی کتاب هر کدوم از سوالا و اینکه چطوری باید ازش درست استفاده کنید شرح و بسط داده میشه
احتمالا با توجه به شرایط هرکسی یه تعدادی از سوالا بیشتر از بقیه کمک کننده باشن ولی در مجموع از خوندن همش ضرر نمی کنید

[Alba · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is good book when you need a bit of mental/emotional shift to a more positive way. It has great advice, ideas and wisdom. Like most self-help books, it gets a bit repetitive and found myself skimming some of the chapters, that is why I gave it 3 instead of 4 stars.

[Lisa Ferretti · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some useful information and suggestions. Could have been condensed into one magazine article.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good. One of the best out of all of Debbie Ford's books-I'm a big fan of her writing and her point of view.

This books applies to everyone-no matter what you're struggling with-relationships, finances, weight, emotional problems, family problems, career, etc.-it causes you to step back and realize that where you are in your life is a direct result of the small and systematic choices you've made along the way.

For example, people don't wake up 100k in debt, it is a series of small choices that get them there. Same thing with weight-people who are 300 pounds didn't get there with one cupcake. So it is a breaking of that cycle and understanding that all of these choices we make every day are determining our tomorrow.

Does it change your life? It depends if you answer the questions in a way that are in your best interest. Did it change mine? Yes, for the better.

Do I always make the right choices when I ask myself the "right questions'? No. But I think about it before I do almost always-which is half the battle-and many times I do make the better choice. It is a proces but the step of contemplation, to me, is what jumpstarts change. And it has led to positive changes.

I highly recommend this book. Pass it on. I hope it helps you contemplate, answer the questions in a way that evokes change and I hope you find tomorrow to be happier and healthier as a result.

[Djali · Rating 5 out of 5]

Totally amazing. Great guidance for every day behaviour making you being the best version of yourself.

[Kathi Crawford · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is all about inspiring greatness. The ten questions Debbie covers can help guide you to an extraordinary life.

[Susan Sheibani · Rating 3 out of 5]

کتاب خوبیه. ولی فک میکنم انقد ظالم بودن با درون خودمون خوب نیس. آسیب زا هست و در حال زندگی کردن رو ازمون میگیره.
در مورد نظر نویسنده در مورد احساسات و ندای درونی تناقض هست
اول کتاب میگه حس هامون بیخودن و نباید بهشون اهمیت بدیم چون در واقع خواسته های کودک ۶_۱۲ ساله ی درونمون هست
بعد وسطای کتاب میگه باید به غریزه و ندای درونیمون گوش بدیم
چقد چرت!
بعد هم اینکه ما هیچکاری رو نباید بخاطر دیگران انجام بدیم هم چرت دیگریست که نویسنده نوشته
انسان یه موجود اجتماعی هست و بدون بقیه آدما زندگی معنی خودشو از دست میده
درسته که باید خودمون رو تو اولویت قرار بدیم ولی همیشه و همیشه باید یه مقدار از خواسته های خودمون تو گروه بزنیم تا گروه بقا پیدا کنه
اگر از هیچی کوتاه نیایم و به نظر بقیه اهمیت ندیم بعد یه مدت تنها و بدون دوست میمونیم.
دقیقا تو مثالی که میزنه که جن و جف میرن مسافرت
اگر جن خواسته خودش رو در اولویت میذاشت و چنتا کار مشابه دیگه انجام میداد
جف بار دیگه باهاش به سفر نمیومد که حالا بخواد ریلکس کنه!
مردم برده ی ما نیستن که
اگر قرار باشه اجتماع تشکیل بگیره باید همه یه متوسط قابل قبولی از نیازهاشون تو روابط برطرف شه و یه میزان متوسط هم کوتاه بیان

[Cherie Kephart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Succinct, clear and insightful, The Right Questions is exactly the injection of truth I believe is helpful for all of us to hear. When we make choices, often our humanity, our conditioned patterns, self-sabotage, limited vision of possibilities, and fears get in the way. Using Ford's ten questions, we can grant ourselves the clarity to see the true reasons behind the choices we make and thereby empower ourselves to make decisions from a more inspired, balanced space. I love these questions and will continue to employ them to ensure I am living from my divinity and acting with self-love and profound trust.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very practical and straightforward for a self-help book. No Jesus-y stuff, no hokey pokey business about accepting yourself and blah blah blah. This is just a series of questions to ask yourself every time you are faced with a choice, and their aim is to guide you towards making decisions that further the life that you want. I totally recommend this book!

I say more about it here [http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fus...]

[Sachin Ganpat · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book offered value. I liked the book until it mentions depending on a higher power to take care of the future for you. Really? A self-help book telling you to leave it in the hands of god/spirit/universe to take care of the challenges you face in life?

Unfortunately, many successful people think this way. I plan to prove them wrong.

In spite of that, I think the book is good, and the questions help you to take a step back and review your thoughts and feelings. It's emotional intelligence essentially, with a twist.

[Lauma Llamandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

As an avid self-help book reader I found the ten questions to be quite simple and rather useful. Nothing too revolutionary or innovative, but a lovely little pocket book or a great starting point for beginners. A light one day read if you will.
The example stories from real life were very helpful, but if you are familiar with shadow work, they do soon become "obvious" or same-old. Nonetheless, I am glad the examples were included in the book so that I can lend it to a friend or relative who may benefit from that extra bit of background information in a small concise book.

[s-b-t · Rating 5 out of 5]

I come back to this book for examples to offer our clients (I work at a non-profit career counseling firm, whose clients face a number of barriers in life). It's a very empowering, affirmative book that can help someone take more of their life back if they've the fortitude and a plan to make it happen. I come back to this one every once in a while to re-orient myself to what's important to me. I'm glad I found it.

[Erik Neilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Couldn’t get into it at first but by the end I was gaining understanding on how choices I’ve made have truly set the course of my life. I think it’s a difficult reality to use these questions daily as a test of all of our decisions, but I think the understanding that we should visit them is helpful in being able to start make new and necessary changes.

[Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Be a wise reader

Some of these questions are insightful and helpful.

If you are a person of faith, be advised that this writer approaches life from a position that stands in contradiction to Biblical principles. Exercise discernment.

[Syed Masood · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Right Questions set you on the right path.

A great set of questions to get you started on your journey. It helped me understand why I was failing to achieve my most cherished goals.

[Andreea Apetrei Kalveram · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy to say, difficult to put into practice. But that's ok, we have every minute and every decision as opportunities to choose the answers of these Great Questions.

[LemontreeLime · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really liked this one. A definite rereading candidate.

[Emilie Greenhalgh · Rating 5 out of 5]

So useful! Highly recommended!

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the second time I've read this book. I thought I read it for the first time in 2016 when I was reading a bunch of books like this and borrowing them from the library. But it looks like I read it before that, maybe sometime in 2012 since my first "add" date was a generic Jan. 31, 2013 date. But I don't own a copy of this book, so was it from the library when I read it first?
Reading it again has given me even more powerful insights. I rated this book as 5 stars before and it's still 5 stars now and I'm taking away even more from it now that I've done more personal growth work with myself. If this book resonated for me before, it resonates even more powerfully now. I decided to revisit this book when I suggested it as a "to-read" book to a friend. I chose it based on the 5-star rating I'd given it in the past and had forgotten that I'd read it. And it's just one of those things--the message you need to hear comes at the right time in your life. This is one of those times. The below are like only 2/3 of the passages that I want to share, but no characters left!

“It’s really quite simple: if we want our lives to be different, all we have to do is make different choices. Most of us continue to make the same choices out of habit, comfort, fear, or laziness and then wonder why we don’t get different results. The truth is, we’re so busy trying to survive life that we don’t even realize that our choices and actions aren’t translating into our hopes and dreams. We’re too distracted with the ‘doingness’ of our daily lives, so we take the easiest, most accustomed route or the path of least resistance, even if it leads us somewhere we don’t really want to go. Many of us stumble through each day doing the best we can without the awareness and the tools we need to change the course of our lives. Then we’re shocked when we wake up and discover that we have been working toward the same goals and desires for years and still we aren’t where we’d like to be in our lives.” pg. 5

“Most of us have lost sight of the relationship between our choices, our actions, and their outcomes. Instead of taking responsibility for our current state of affairs, we become masters at assigning blame, pretending that everything is someone else’s fault when our lives turn out not to be the wonderlands we want them to be. We may even point fingers at others instead of looking at the choices we’ve made that have landed us exactly where we are today. Without bringing conscious awareness to our choices, we can’t help but repeat the patterns of our past.” pg. 5-6

“The Right Questions consist of ten powerful inquiries designed to reveal what is motivating your actions. The answers to these questions will immediately clarify your thinking and support you in making the choices that are in your highest and best interest. They are deceptively simple but incredibly powerful and can be used in any situation or at any crossroads. Here, then, are the Right Questions:
- Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?
- Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or will it bring me short-term gratification?
- Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?
- Am I looking for what’s right or am I looking for what’s wrong?
- Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?
- Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up?
- Does this choice empower me or does it disempower me?
- Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage
- Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?
- Am I choosing from my divinity or am I choosing from my humanity?” pg. 6-8

“If we look at the people who have made a great difference in the world, we see that they all made courageous choices. We see that they came to their decisions with clarity, certainty, and focus. They disciplined themselves to make the choices that were not always comfortable or easy. They took the actions that fed their life force, their purposes, and their dreams. Every time we make a choice that is inconsistent with our heart’s desires, we are not only moving away from what we say we want in life but actually dampening our life force—that unique inner power that keeps us alive spiritually and physically.
When we ask the right questions and make the right choices, we feed our life force.” pg. 9

“When our internal fire roars, we feel strong, powerful, and confident. We have the strength and courage to speak truthfully and the humility and clarity to ask for what we need. A healthy flame fills our minds with vision and inspiration and gives us the stamina to envision our dreams and go after them. When we nurture our internal fires we see with great clarity and act with undeviating focus. A strong flame propels us into higher states of consciousness, where self-love and emotional freedom reside.” pg. 12

“When our flames are low, however, we are vulnerable, frail, and weak. We feel scared and apprehensive and are filled with worry and self-doubt. When our flames have not been cared for and fed, we hunger for things outside ourselves to make us feel better. We withhold our communications to others, fearing that we are not worthy of love and happiness. When our flames are low, we are skeptical and cynical. We worry that others will want something from us and we fear that we have so little to give. When our flames are weak we don’t have the defenses to fight off disease, doubt, worry, self-loathing, addiction, or criticism. When our flames are low we look to others to feed our fires because we haven’t fed them ourselves. A weak fire is needy and falls prey to the ongoing negative dialogues that permeate our minds.” pg. 13

“When we are acting on automatic, we fail to see the consequences of our behaviors. We blindly go about our days, never considering the long-term vision for our lives. We neither examine our motives nor try to understand what is directing our choices. Our actions are reactions, our choices based on the way we feel in the moment, with no consideration for their impact on our future.” pg. 23

“In any given moment we are being guided by one of two maps: a vision map, which is a deliberate plan for our future, or a default map, which is made up of our past. Choices made from our default map—our repetitive, automatic programming—do not nourish our flames, nor do they move us closer to our dreams. And even though they may feel right to us, they do so simply because they are familiar.” pg. 23-24

“The question to ask is, If you loved yourself, if you believed you deserved to have what you wanted, why in heaven’s name would you choose to take an action that would rob you of attaining your desired results? The answer to this question is simple. If you tell the truth you will probably discover that you have no choice in this area. You, with or without your knowledge, have been operating on automatic pilot, following your default map. When you act unconsciously, you unknowingly surrender to the trance of denial. You sacrifice your soul’s dreams in exchange for comfort or instant gratification, powerless to stop taking a repetitive action with undesired consequences. In some instances, without realizing it, you can even head off at full speed in a self-sabotaging, opposite direction.” pg. 27-28

“The Right Questions give you the opportunity to take yourself off autopilot and become the conscious navigator of your own reality. They will make you present to the truth and ground you in reality so that you can see whether or not your actions are in alignment with your goals. They will remind you that every time you make a choice, that choice either takes you closer to where you want to go or moves you further away.” pg. 28

“Our deepest desires emerge from our souls, inspiring us to evolve into what we are meant to be.” pg. 29

“Your vision acts as a reference point. Thus, it is essential to take a moment every day in which you focus on your vision and bring your goals into your conscious awareness. This process can be very simple. When you get up in the morning, before you begin your day:
- Take a moment of silence and meditation, and give yourself permission to have all that you desire.
- Tell yourself that it is safe for you to fulfill your heart’s wishes.
- Remember where you want to go, why you want to go there, and what will be waiting for you when you arrive. Allow yourself to imagine how you will feel, how you will look, and how others will be inspired by you when your vision is fulfilled.
- Think about all the opportunities you will have during the coming day to make choices that support the fulfillment of your goals and dreams.
This daily practice will inspire you to make the highest choices for yourself throughout your day.” pg. 30-31

“When our lives are not the way we want them to be, we can be certain that we have a conflicting hidden commitment to something other than that which we say we’re committed to.” pg. 41

“Most of us don’t even know that we have commitments other than the ones we’re trying to manifest. That’s why I call these hidden commitments underlying commitments: they exist at an unconscious level. They are our first commitments, and if they are not made conscious they will override any other desires. Our underlying commitments drive our thoughts, our beliefs, and—most important—our choices; they are the unseen forces that shape our realities. Our underlying commitments are responsible for the discrepancy between what we say we want and what we’re actually experiencing.” pg. 43

“Even when you long to ask for a promotion or take a leadership role, you won’t be able to manifest your longing because your first commitment is to staying within the confines of your current reality. Or, in the dark recesses of your unconsciousness, you may have decided that you can’t trust anyone and that it’s easier to be alone. So even though you want love and intimacy in your life, you always choose the wrong mate because your first commitment is to being by yourself.” pg. 44

“Saying we want things without acknowledging our first commitments in these areas leaves us feeling powerless. But when we tell the truth—that what we’re really committed to is something other than what we’ve been saying we are—our suffering subsides. Suffering is the result of our conflicting commitments.” pg. 55

“Revealing the underlying commitments that prevent us from achieving our goals is the critical step that we need to take in order to turn our lives around. Each of us must have the courage to expose the lies we are telling ourselves. By making our first commitments conscious, we gain the ability to replace them with new, powerful commitments. Our intention in examining our first commitments is to expose them and embrace them. By bringing them into our full awareness and shedding light where there has been darkness, we are able to transcend our first commitments and create new, conscious commitments that are in alignment with our highest visions for the future.” pg. 56-57

“To find your underlying commitments, write down a goal or desire that you’ve been unable to attain. Then make a list of all the actions you have taken or not taken in the past year that are in direct opposition to this goal. Now take your list and imagine that the choices that have taken you away from your desired goal or not brought you any closer to it are an expression of a deeper commitment, your first commitment. Next, close your eyes and ask yourself, ‘What commitment are these choices in direct alignment with?’ There you will discover your underlying commitment.” pg. 57

“Instant gratification is often an illusion. It is an attempt to fool ourselves. The truth is that it isn’t really gratifying to make a choice that interferes with our future plans. My brother Michael told me, ‘“Instant gratification” is a misnomer because it’s not a fair assessment of what’s really going on. It should be called “instantaneous gratification,” because it’s over as soon as it’s finished. You’re attempting to gratify yourself quickly, but remorse sets in as soon as you realize that you are left further away from your goal. The rush is over, but the guilt stays with you.’” pg. 70-71

“The reality is that choices that support our long-term fulfillment aren’t always fun. They aren’t the easiest or the sexist choices to make. But making choices with our future in mind is vital if we want to make our vision for our lives a reality.” pg. 71

“In order to create the life of our dreams, we need a strong foundation on which to build who we are and what we stand for. We build this unshakable foundation by living within the structure of our own personal integrity. When we are in our power, we are deeply rooted in our truth, which means we honor our needs, our desires, and ourselves. When we are living a life of integrity, we follow the guidelines that are in direct alignment with our soul’s desires. When we are aligned with our highest selves, we trust ourselves enough to follow our hearts. Then we are able to be straight and tell the truth about who we are and what we want, even if it disappoints someone else.” pg. 82

“On the other hand, we know when we are wavering and disconnected from our integrity, because at those times we feel timid and intimidated. We give up our needs and desires in order to gain the love of others. Every time you try to please another and forsake your own truth for theirs, you relinquish some of your power. You forget who you are and hand to others the reins of your life. Each and every day you have the opportunity to claim the right to stand up for yourself or to give your power away. Claiming our power requires us to stand for the greatest expression of ourselves while honoring the highest and most sacred aspects of our humanity.” pg. 82

“In order to stand fully in our power we have to become comfortable with confrontation. We have to give ourselves permission to rock the boat and make some waves. We must trust that it is more important that we stick up for ourselves than that we gain the approval of others.” pg. 86

“We’ve learned to give our power away for the approval of others. We deny ourselves the gift of our voice, our opinions, and our authentic expression. Obligations, ‘should’s, and guilt become the dictators of our actions.
When we’re stuck in the pattern of people-pleasing, we do not have access to making clear choices. We are driven to fulfill others’ needs in order to be loved. In order to stand in our power we must have the option of just saying no. We have to be willing to give up the need for others’ approval and give up our need to make others happy. The truth is that not everyone will like us and it’s not our job to make others happy—just as it isn’t the job of others to make us happy.” pg. 87

“But any time we forsake our own needs for the needs of another, we ultimately damage our relationship with that person.” pg. 91

“We set ourselves up to lose every time we give away our power and minimize the importance of our own needs. Many people I work with truly believe that they don’t matter. They think it’s okay to abandon themselves as long as they are making someone else happy. They tell themselves that they are strong enough to withstand the neglect as long as it’s in the name of making someone else happy. Or they tell themselves that it’s their job to be the sacrificial lamb. This is often what we were taught when we were young, and it sets us up to violate ourselves and play the part of the martyr. Each time we ignore our own needs to please another, we disconnect from our own ability to love and nurture ourselves. Please remember that pleasing another is not the same as caring for another. The important thing to realize is that we can’t really care for another if we do not first care for ourselves. By consulting ourselves to see whether the choices we make come from a place of standing in our power or one of needing to please another, we are forced to confront the subtle and not so subtle ways in which we violate ourselves.” pg. 92

“People who are successful in life look for what’s right.” pg. 94

“When we are looking for what’s right, we invite life to shower us with all its many gifts. Looking for what’s right opens our hearts and allows us to live in a state of gratitude for what we have. It lets us appreciate the little things that bless us every day. It causes us to stop taking for granted the many gifts in our lives. Just think of all the things we have to be grateful for!” pg. 96

“Looking for what’s right is an art that takes practice. But here is the payoff: when we look for what’s right, we feel good, strong, and worthy. When we look for what’s wrong, we feel bad, resigned, and disappointed.
It’s easy to look for what’s wrong. For most of us, this is our default way of viewing the world.” pg. 96-97

“We rob ourselves of energy when we dwell on the past. Mentally rehashing situations, events, and circumstances that we have no power to change diminishes our ability to be present here and now.” pg. 110

“This Right Question—‘Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up?’—urges us to embrace the truth that life will inevitably bring us some difficult experiences. And they aren’t always our fault. When we come upon an incident or event that brings with it pain, sadness, loss, or regret, we don’t want to hide or deny these feelings. We must allow ourselves to feel our emotions, acknowledge our hurt, and then make the decision to use this event to make our lives better. We must examine the incident itself and see how we’ve interpreted it. Then we can choose a new perspective.” pg. 116

“This Right Question [‘Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up?’] asks us to look at what happens to us from the perspective that every person and situation in our lives is behaving in exactly the way we need them to at every moment in time. . . if we ask ourselves, ‘What can I learn from this encounter? How can I use this to evolve and transform my life?’ we will start to open up to new possibilities for our lives. The other option is to spend our time wondering, ‘What have I done to deserve this?’ or ‘What am I doing wrong?’ The first option will allow us to see viewpoints that we haven’t been able to see before; the second will keep us trapped in the painful reality of being a victim. The latter reality gives us no choice other than to feel bad about who we are and then beat ourselves up. These are the two options that this Right Question offers us.”

Book: borrowed from SSF Main Library.

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! This book has changed my life.

I am blessed beyond measure to have had the Divine put this book in front of me. I am being set free to live a new holy life with experiences I have craved.
The Right Questions helped me see into the dark places of my life where I was asleep in order to survive. I was able to gently call my heart to life again.
The legacy if Debbie Ford is inspiring and I am incredibly grateful she lived fully in her souls true expression. This example invites me to do the same.

[Texturas · Rating 4 out of 5]

A pesar de ser muy pequeño (de tamaño y número de páginas) contiene interesantes consejos al plantear una serie de preguntas que hacerse antes de tomar una decisión.
Preguntas aparentemente sencillas pero que ayudan a entender si es realmente una buena o mala decisión, si conviene hacerlo o no... ¿Satisfacción a largo plazo o gratificación inmediata...? ¿Soy yo mismo o intento complacer a otro...? ¿Autoestima o autosabotaje...?

[Trisha Gayle · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this book, I deeply admire Debbie’s eloquent and precise statement of our ability to make choices and their relative consequence. Even before I read this book, I have learned that life is about constant decision making and the choices we are making today will inevitably shape our future. That is the philosophy of this book Debbie emphatically stretched out through a series of questions.

[Olivia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of value to glean from this quick read. I appreciate, and will use, the questions themselves, but some of the framing and commentary struck me as off. No acknowledgment of systemic challenges that people face, and the description of talking to her son about his homework was riddled with agenda and felt manipulative.

[Cynthia Harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant. Clarified with simple questions where I was stuck and what I needed to do to move forward. This one is golden!

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good thought starters

[Brenda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book

[Maxine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book really useful the first time I read it a few years ago, and enjoyed reading it again. Some great questions, and I liked the examples that illustrate each question.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Motivational and full of practical advice. ♥️