The Happiness Playlist

by Mark Mallman

Minneapolis rock legend Mark Mallman woke at 3 a.m. with a crushing panic attack that wouldn't end. He responded by pouring songs into a happiness playlist and leaning on the wisdom of friends. This is the true story of a man beset by grief, healed by music, and learning to laugh through it all.

Genres: Music, Memoir, Nonfiction

136 pages, Paperback

Published March 19, 2019

Reviews

[Adam Wahlberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. Inspiring, funny, heartfelt, poetic. It's majestic healing journey told in four parts over a compressed period time, all centered on strategically using music. Mark's done something remarkable here: told a human story with humor and empathy without ever preaching or over-indicating any "important, teachable" moments. This was just his life and how he got through a tough patch, by listening on feel-good songs. A remarkable achievement.

[Jay Gabler]

You know Mark Mallman as a witty lyricist, but with The Happiness Playlist he proves that he also shines as a prose writer. I pulled some of my favorite quotes for The Current.

[Sean Little · Rating 4 out of 5]

'The Happiness Playlist' is a strange title for a book that is ultimately about grieving. But it works. Like so many things Mark Mallman does, it seems strange at first, but in the end, it works. You don't necessarily know HOW it works, but it does. That's the magic of Mallman.

My buddy, Scot, introduced to me to Mallman many years ago. He'd seem him a few times around Minneapolis and told me, "You've got to see this guy." Eventually, I did. My first Mallman show was at First Ave. in Minneapolis. It was a sight to behold. Mallman occupies musical space somewhere between Frank Zappa and the Muppets. He's not a comedy artist, but there's a humor to his performances. He's not overly-serious, but he definitely holds music as sacred. He is a genius on outlier, somehow remaining relevant, but on the fringe on a constant basis.

It took me exactly .03 seconds to become his fan. I have all his records. I've seen him live maybe fifteen or twenty times now. I've seen him play large venues and small. He never phones it in. He always delivers. When he announced his memoir, 'The Happiness Playlist,' I knew I'd read that, too.

Plagued by anxiety that stems from grief over the loss of his mother in 2013, Mark is seeking a cure. Could music succeed where proscription drugs and sleep research have failed? That's the basis for this short memoir.

Mallman writes like he's writing lyrics. The sentences are short and punchy. They move rapidly from space to space. There's something musical about his words. It's not the jazz-rhythm riffs of Kerouac or Ginsberg, though. It's different. It's Mallman music. Somewhere between rock and metal, touches of glam, but ultimately simple and likeable when you really look at it.

The healing road is not an easy journey. Mallman is not the first musician to write about grief. He won't be the last. Grief is one of those universals that we'll never nail down because it is so intrinsic and so personal. We all struggle with loss differently.

But, as Mark learns, music makes it more palatable. And music makes life more worthwhile.

[Steve · Rating 3 out of 5]

I tried to read this book. Got half way through. What I liked were some of the tips Mallman provided about how he addresses anxiety through music. What I didn't like so much was the choppiness of the writing and the tone. As personal as he is in telling his own story, it seemed very cold and I could not empathize the way I wanted to. With that regard, it reminded me of Brett Easton Ellis' Less Than Zero and Donna Tart's Secret History. Like both of those stories - to me - I was unable to give empathy to free-spirited people having problems that seemed more surface-y. That sounds horrible since Mallman's book is about how he copes with anxiety and depression. I wish there had been a real connection. The reader never gets anywhere with understanding him more deeply. At least not in the first 60 pages of the 130 page book. So that's where the book ended for me. I love making playlists for moods and times of the year. Heck, I make playlists for any occasion, so this book was up my alley. Except in the book we just got to know Mallman's one happiness playlist in bits and pieces. I wish each chapter related to a different song from the list. I wanted to know more. I felt empty.

The positive take-away is that I had not heard of Mallman as an artist and I am intrigued to listen to his music and learn more about that aspect of his life. Sounds great.

[Rosemary · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The Happiness Playlist” by Mark Mallman is a testament to the power of music to mute grief. Love, laughter, and tears leap off the pages of this book in passages so fluid you’ll find yourself shaking your head in agreement or singing along with Mark’s tunes as you laugh one moment and tear up the next. You won’t want to miss the sleep study chapter. Ever had a panic attack, feel depressed, grieve a lost loved one, had a bad break-up, or had something keep you up at night? Read “The Happiness Playlist.”

[Jodi Melsness · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could relate to so much of this. Funny, honest and much needed.

[Kristin Boldon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a weird, charming, warm book about love, loss, surviving, and music.

[Chad Fjerstad]

After I graced the cover of the Twin Cities' City Pages in 2009, underground music maestro Mark Mallman reached out to me, and we've kept in touch ever since. He's always been a very righteous dude and has always been very supportive - he's read all my books and has given me insightful feedback, which I have appreciated immensely. I appreciate the fact that even though he's so entirely about positivity, he still found the appeal in my IMMENSELY negative book Warship Satan (I doubt I will ever make a darker piece of art/media), and wrote one of the coolest reviews for it on the Amazon page.

He gifted me an early copy of his new book The Happiness Playlist, which I read in it's entirety on my plane ride to Mexico City just yesterday. I kind of feel like in an obscure way it's the yin to my yang. Both of our books at their core focus on finding solace in music, though his is surrounded by other uplifting dialects while mine drowns you in filth and hopelessness. Both come off to me as therapeutic exercises for the author, though mine seems to be mostly cathartic while his feels more meditative. Regardless of the extreme differences, and I mean EXTREME, I am feeling a spiritual connection here. This would be a great book to read after you finished mine, to clean yourself off, and get yourself back up out of the hole you just dug yourself into.

It is mystifying to me and therefore admirable when someone is able to consciously surround themselves with media and personas that are so overtly and thoroughly positive, and to create art along those lines is another step beyond that. Mallman is a great storyteller and his writing is full of undeniable sincerity - his heart is a ray of sunshine that bursts out through his words telling you "I WANT TO SEE YOU SMILE....RIGHT NOW!!! LIFE IS AMAZING!!! WE EXIST AND IT'S GREAT, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE OR WHERE YOU ARE!!!" Now THAT'S challenging, and challenging is something I respect.

I particularly love some of the random things discussed. I love how he talks about Pharrell's hit single, "Happy", about FIVE different times in the book, discussing how much he loves it while every single other person tears it apart. Yes, "Happy", the song that managed to trigger the only bad acid trip of my life, while watching Pharrell perform it live at Coachella about 5 years ago. I side with "everyone else" but am fully intrigued by his affinity towards it. I love when he expresses how incredible he finds Crock-Pot's to be, for like FOUR entire pages. This is some home-cooked, heartfelt stuff, my friends. Fans of love in general, feel-good jams, and/or the Midwest should read this.

Diablo Cody + Chuck Klosterman approved!

[Nan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Musician Mark Mallman writes honestly and poetically about his path to healing after the sudden death of his mother. Knowing that music has the power to change us, he eventually puts together a "Happiness Playlist" to provide balm in his darker moments. Despite the title, music is only part of the equation. This is a heartfelt, touching, and deeply introspective examination of the power of family (What a dad!), friends, and work that matters to bring us back to life. I loved it.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mark Mallman is experiencing the worst panic attack of his life. Mallman is a musician in Minneapolis, Minnesota, as well as a son, brother, and friend to many; he’s a man, yet displays his emotional side when needed. In "The Happiness Playlist: The True Story of Healing My Heart with Feel-Good Music", Mallman knows he must learn to overcome the fear in his life, before it gets the best of him entirely. With the unexpected passing of his mother a year and a half ago, the doctors tell him that his brain is just now ready to fully understand this and proceed through the grieving process. Besides anxiety, he has been experiencing restless sleep and must figure this all out to regain some semblance of a normal life. In order to feel better, the first idea he comes up with is the soothing effect that music can have. Being a musician, Mallman has music in his blood, but must make a "Happiness Playlist" to ensure the positivity in his daily life. While still learning to be on his own personally and emotionally, he sees his mother peeking into many occurrences in his daily life. With each chapter involving a different month for him, the reader will watch him grow emotionally into self-reliance, with the help of his friends, father, Annie, and music. In spite of the downfalls in his life, Mallman has been and continues to be a very upbeat person who chooses to see the good in situations and people.
Not having anxiety myself, or having experienced the loss of a parent, I still feel I can understand Mallman’s story well, as evident by his writing and in it the emotion he portrays; as well as my personal understanding of the impact music has on changing a person's mood. Music is such a big deal in all areas of life, especially by the mere fact that when one is knowledgeable in music, it can help boost intelligence and creativity. Having lived in Minnesota, and around the Minneapolis area for the last several years, it was enjoyable to read about the places to which he traveled and frequented; too bad I didn’t know about him before. With love, positive feelings, and good music playing a large role in his book and life, the target audience could be any age, any gender, but probably mostly those who live in the northern states or places with a colder climate to understand how it can be hard when it’s cold most of the year to keep an up-beat attitude.

[Lorien · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read this book twice. The first time, I sped through it because I wanted to get all the words in my head right now immediately. Mallman's writing style reads like a friendly conversation - one that needs to keep going long into the night.

The revisit was a more deliberate reading - time to savor. Grab some tea and curl up. You'll learn a lot.

It's a memoir. It's a self-help book. It's an example of writing about trauma and pain in a kind and gentle way. It's non-triggering. You'll learn how to be supported by friends and how not to make soup.

Hidden deep inside is also a love story of Minneapolis. To Minneapolis. A city that supports the arts and a culture that embraces weirdos. It's not just music that heals, it's community, it's family, it's love - and it's all in those pages.

[Timothy Minneci · Rating 4 out of 5]

A deeply personal book about love, loss, anxiety and healing through music, specifically uplifting "happy" music. Not knowing of Mark prior to book, but familiar with the Minneapolis-St. Paul music scene, there were aspects that appealed to me as a music fan. I'm not sure I would have picked this up and read it without the music angle, but I'm glad I did as I was able to empathize with author's struggles with anxiety and difficult sleeping.

[Kat Dullum · Rating 4 out of 5]

You can tell this guy is a song writer. Beautifully written. Honest and pure. Not a self help book in terms of being preachy and giving you the steps you have to take to be happy. It is simply Mark Mallman's story. That said, there is a lot of wisdom in these pages. Thought provoking. Made me think a little deeper. I had to grab my sticky flags and hi-lighter.

I'm sure this will be re-read for me. Recommended!

[Jessica Looman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Music heals the soul. This is a story about a man who uses his playlist to make him happy when depression and anxiety knocks him off his feet. As someone who is using 2019 to find my joy, this book reminded me to add a little music in there too 🙌🏼

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mark Mallman's mom died, and a year and a half later he suffered from major anxiety and paranoia, culminating in a severe panic attack and visit to the ER at his local hospital. He is told by doctors that this is a result of postponed grief. Yikes! A good reminder that when you have a loss, the grief comes, and as horrible as it is, people-you have to go with it and let it happen. It hurts but the worst of it will pass with time!

Moving on.
I didn't read this book in one sitting, but that could easily be done. I read it in a day. It's a quick, interesting read. I liked it a lot.
I can sum it up with some of the best quotes, which I could relate to. Losing a parent is a universal experience.
"Her absence whispers about the breeze, not as a ghost, but a memory of a fuller world. There are two versions of me, before and after Mom. The reason it's called a nuclear family is because when one goes missing the results are atomic."

"A sundae is a salad with better ingredients. Dessert before bedtime softens the struggles of the day."

"Morning comes. Without Mom, it isn't Thanksgiving but some new holiday with the same name."

"Dad, who made a promise to your mom, and made a promise to God. Who's friends with the priests, yet worries about getting into heaven. Who believes in angels."

"Dads are teachers who never retire."

"When I think of Mom, joy and pain are inseparable. They come carpooling through my heart. There's grief with loss, but also strength and growth. Kindness flows inside. Under the skin. Between the blood."

"I hadn't had a Shirley Temple in decades. Was it called something different now? A Honey Boo Boo?"

I recommend this book to everyone. If you have lost a parent already, you will, sadly, relate to and appreciate it in a special way. Even if you haven't, it's still just a good book. The Chuck Klosterman seal of approval grabbed my attention, and I am glad I found it. It's inspiring and motivating and very different from anything else you will probably ever read.

Recommended.

[christa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mallman's compilation of upbeat songs was the starting point for his self-help/music memoir "The Happiness Playlist: The True Story of Healing My Heart With Feel-Good Music." While grieving the sudden death of his mother, Mallman turns to music as a "map to safe harbor." He chronicles three seasons of his life during this period - the tacos, the twice-daily conversations with his father and the perfect New Year's Eve spent with an ex-turned-friend.
And in the background: the music.

Van Morrison's "And it Stoned Me," Sting's "Fields of Gold," Mariah Carey's "Fantasy."

"The Happiness Playlist" is a concise look at how one human lives his life in the years after a family tragedy and how a human lives after a breakup with a partner he doesn't want to lose as a friend and how a human just simply lives.

Mallman's is a collection of dogear-worthy passages that concisely describe anxiety and the litany of worries - climate change, whether Mallman's hair dye is seeping into his skull.

"An asteroid hit the earth," he writes about his mother's death. "Out the window, the planet's crust ripped open. An ice blue magma leapt into the streets. The city became a two-dimensional disaster zone. My jaw clenched. I'm surprised I didn't crush my own teeth. Reality was a shallow veil. Who prepares for this? One hundred razors cut my flesh into squares. They toppled over each other, squiggling on the hardwood. I didn't even notice."

Alternately, there are quote-worthy lines like, "if it can't be said with hair, it can't be said" or "a sundae is a salad with better ingredients."

Originally written about here.

[Ali Byrnes · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars!
I snagged this off the display shelf for local authors at my library, and the cover had this tactile thing going on that I loved, so it came home with me. You can tell this guy is a songwriter. It comes through in his writing style and while it is a bit choppy at times, once you’re used to it you find a kind of cadence that’s pretty pleasant. It helps that the book is just the right length that it doesn’t wear itself thin. This is quirky and silly and fun for a book about grief, and his unique thought processes come through in his conversations and observations about life and how we’re all just out here living it. I think I loved most the strong sense of place. It called to me as a Twin Cities resident-I bet I’ve been in the same room as Mark, maybe more than once. I can see him curled in a dark booth at the CC Club, backstage at Seventh Street Entry, eating a weird slice at Mesa, bravely bearing the zombie pub crawl for the sake of the music. He also made me cry toward the end, when he talks to his mom about how much she is missed. It made me think about my own little boy grieving me one day, which was strange new thought territory -I hope to be even half as loved and fondly remembered as Mark’s mom was to him. A love letter to Mom and Minneapolis, what a nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

A perfect little book about a musician going thru grief, seeking happiness but allowing the hurt to work itself out too. Love recognizing all the Minneapolis references, even the Eagan DMV makes an appearance. Some parts I loved:

This is the third Thanksgiving since Mom died. The crisis is over but the loss lingers. I stare into the darkness looking for beauty. There is a reason for sadness, but I don’t know what it is.

Is The Happiness Playlist permitting joy or prohibiting emotion? After Mom died, I couldn’t bear to be alone. Driving, flying, even walking around the lake alone got scary. Thankfully, happy music stepped in. It holds me on the days I feel abandoned. But something in “Smoke Signals” tells me there’s a deeper path than simple happiness. … Stirring in the brain comes an idea. Give permission to sadness. Don’t build a tower of isolation against your fear. Welcome in the sad song. Then, let it pass.

I don’t want a pretend life, to skip anguish, and never feel it. To accept I'm emotional is to accept the totality of feelings. When I think of Mom, joy and pain are inseparable. They come carpooling through my heart. There's grief with loss, but also strength and growth. Kindness flows inside. Under the skin. Between the blood.

Four years on, the wound stays fresh. Old folks tell me I'll never get over it. They say it'll be easier to accept over time. Gratefulness is an efficient healing mechanism. This wisdom has been invaluable.

[Lelina Durrette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Mallman writes eloquently about loneliness, grief and the pursuit of happiness. Some passages had me laughing out loud, such as his ill-fated adventures in soup-making, and the creation Reese's Peanut Butter Calzone soup. Others had me genuinely weeping, as he described the raw anguish he experienced at the death of his mother. As someone who lost both parents to cancer far too soon, this resonated on a deeply personal level. Then there was the inspirational; "Artists see opportunity where other see mistakes. In spite of his deafness, Beethoven thrived. Never aspire to anything. Be it." And finally, the joy experienced in simple things, like a playlist of happy music, spending time with good friends and appreciating the small moments in life. The author proves that he's as talented a writer as he is a musician. I had a smile on my face when I finished it, and I can't wait to read what next from him!

[Jeffrey Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

In order to overcome a debilitating panic attack, Mark Mallman crafts a path to happiness using the medium he is most familiar with, music. The ensuing stories show his personal evolution through small vignettes around Minneapolis with friends, cohorts and other players in his life. Mallman takes small steps, one after another, to seek out positivity and happiness around him. This book is filled with sharp wit and clever insights that can be easily dismissed as simple dry comedy, but together, show a richly lived life between bookends of tragedy.

[Daniel Zielske · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book far more than I figured I would because I feel it far exceeds its title and basic premise. It hit me (dare I say stoned me) in various ways due to me living and working in Minneapolis and crossing paths with Mark a few times in the past, me grieving the loss of my Dad just a few months ago, and me having a son who is a musician and is dealing with some mental health issues. I told my son that he should read it, but let him know that it's not "just because" there are so many poignant, funny, wise exchanges between Mark and his Dad. Great book!

[Iris · Rating 4 out of 5]

The word that comes to mind is vademecum -- literally, "go with me," a book that you keep handy for consultation. Mr. Mallman's unaffected journal through the seasons would be a welcome companion for readers dealing with a rough patch in life, in his case, grief, loneliness and maybe sleep apnea. It's a comfort to walk alongside him.

[Molly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was borrowed this book because it was supposed to be a funny story about grief. I just couldn't handle to writing style at all. If it wasn't only 120pgs I would have quit. Besides making a few good jokes it was not worth reading the pointless ramblings.

[Molly · Rating 3 out of 5]

When Minneapolis rock legend woke at 3 a.m. with a crushing panic attach that wouldn't end, he responded by pouring songs into a happiness playlist, learning to laugh through it all. A wonderful story about mental health and the power of music.

[Theremin Poisoning · Rating 5 out of 5]

Four and a half stars. Poetic and vulnerable.

[Joel Thurston · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the audio book version. It was like sitting with the author enjoying a pizza.

[Naomi]

I’m in the minority but I didn’t like the way this was written AT ALL. I wanted to like it but it was terrible. Just choppy and all over the place.