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Tea and Cake with Demons: A Buddhist Guide to Feeling Worthy
This is the book on Buddhism the new generation has been waiting for.
If the Buddha were alive today, what would he say about the unique challenges we face? In Tea and Cake With Demons, NYC-based mindfulness and meditation teacher Adreanna Limbach shares a down-to-earth, often humorous, and delightfully insightful discussion of Buddhism through the lens of modern life—and all our cultural, technological, and still-timeless obstacles.
So many of us go through our days feeling overwhelmed. We do our best to navigate the craziness of the modern world—finding a purpose while making ends meet, going down social media black holes but craving meaningful relationships, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle in a society that seems to be falling apart . . .
At the end of the day, we have a sneaking suspicion of some fundamental flaw—our “demons” rear their heads, manifesting for many of us as a chronic sense of not-enoughness .
Using The Four Noble Truths and The Eightfold Path as a guide, Adreanna guides us to meet all our most common demons—shame, perfectionism, self-doubt, fixation—all while myth-busting the cultural narratives that keep us stuck.
Throughout Tea and Cake with Demons, Adreanna shares simple meditation practices, personal anecdotes, and traditional Buddhist tales that help you embrace the full experience of being human—even those pesky demons—and realize your fundamental, untouchable, and true self-worth.
If the Buddha were alive today, what would he say about the unique challenges we face? In Tea and Cake With Demons, NYC-based mindfulness and meditation teacher Adreanna Limbach shares a down-to-earth, often humorous, and delightfully insightful discussion of Buddhism through the lens of modern life—and all our cultural, technological, and still-timeless obstacles.
So many of us go through our days feeling overwhelmed. We do our best to navigate the craziness of the modern world—finding a purpose while making ends meet, going down social media black holes but craving meaningful relationships, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle in a society that seems to be falling apart . . .
At the end of the day, we have a sneaking suspicion of some fundamental flaw—our “demons” rear their heads, manifesting for many of us as a chronic sense of not-enoughness .
Using The Four Noble Truths and The Eightfold Path as a guide, Adreanna guides us to meet all our most common demons—shame, perfectionism, self-doubt, fixation—all while myth-busting the cultural narratives that keep us stuck.
Throughout Tea and Cake with Demons, Adreanna shares simple meditation practices, personal anecdotes, and traditional Buddhist tales that help you embrace the full experience of being human—even those pesky demons—and realize your fundamental, untouchable, and true self-worth.
172 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 9, 2019
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June 8, 2019This title is everything...I'm already thinking about my outfit for a tea party with demons.
July 12, 2019
At some point, almost all of us struggle with a lack of self-worth or feelings of being not enough. In Tea and Cake with Demons, mindfulness instructor Adreanna Limbach shows how Buddhist wisdom can help us find contentment. The book is filled with thought-provoking stories and quotations, practical advice, and helpful practices, all written in a friendly and often humorous style. I have never highlighted so many passages in a book.
You’ll gain more from this book if you actually commit to the practices and spend some time on them each day, but I felt like I got some immediate benefit just from reading the introduction. This is not only an amusing read, but also a potentially life-changing book.
If you’re tired of being your own worst enemy, I highly recommend this book. Ms. Limbach is a relatable guide for anyone curious about Buddhism or interested in learning how to apply the Four Noble Truths to lead a more contented life.
I was provided an ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.
You’ll gain more from this book if you actually commit to the practices and spend some time on them each day, but I felt like I got some immediate benefit just from reading the introduction. This is not only an amusing read, but also a potentially life-changing book.
If you’re tired of being your own worst enemy, I highly recommend this book. Ms. Limbach is a relatable guide for anyone curious about Buddhism or interested in learning how to apply the Four Noble Truths to lead a more contented life.
I was provided an ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.
May 25, 2020
This book was fine for a first time author. There's nothing wrong with the content. But I found the content very basic and introductory. I would have given it 3 stars, but my friend I co-read with, who knows very little about Buddhism was very confused, so I don't think it's a great read for a total novice either.
We both thought the middle section on the four noble truths was a good segment.
I also assumed, based on the title, that it would go more into the modern self worth issues, and they were discussed, but it felt more like a window dressing than a deep discussion.
I think this book is for someone who has some exposure to Buddhist thought, and is trying to get different perspective and gain a better understanding, but not someone who's already been doing a lot of deep reading in meditation and Buddhism.
We both thought the middle section on the four noble truths was a good segment.
I also assumed, based on the title, that it would go more into the modern self worth issues, and they were discussed, but it felt more like a window dressing than a deep discussion.
I think this book is for someone who has some exposure to Buddhist thought, and is trying to get different perspective and gain a better understanding, but not someone who's already been doing a lot of deep reading in meditation and Buddhism.
May 1, 2019
This is a powerful yet practical book about dealing with whatever gets in the way of us living our best lives. The author shows us how with many interesting stories as well as actions we can take to put her ideas into practice. She has divided her teaching into three sections - Waking Up to Worthiness,, the Four Noble Truths,, and the Eightfold Path. I found this book very helpful and not steeped in theoretical language that sometimes gets in my way. Is a valuable tool for anyone on the journey towards self-acceptance.
April 3, 2021
It took me over a year to get through this book. It's not that it contains bad information, I actually don't know what it was. Every time I started reading I started nodding off or couldn't focus and that's usually not a problem for me. I just found it too boring to be able to take any of it's messages to heart.
May 28, 2019
Anxiety, doubt, and a fear of being unworthy are common themes in our lives. These are the demons being looked at in Adreanna Limbach’s book, Tea and Cake with Demons. Limbach is a buddhist and this book takes a look through the Buddhist tenants from the point of view of self worth. I view this book as both a reference guide and a workbook to help you understand where the demons come from and how to work with them to gain a broader sense of connection and how we can overcome their adversity.
Limbach frames the book through the lens of buddhism: each of the four noble truths, and the eightfold path, gets explained in general terms and then gets applied to the idea of self worthiness. Each truth and path are described in easy-to-understand, modern terms. This way you get a feel to really apply the works to yourself. Each chapter then ends with a practical tip to use the material in your life.
I liked her voice. Limbach uses her own personality and life experiences to remind the reader that we are not alone and everyone experiences doubt in their own lives. Even the enlightened ones. This book is a wonderful companion and guide for creatives, and anyone experiencing their own dark night of self-doubt. Reading Tea and Cake with Demons will broaden your horizon, doing the techniques Limbach explores will help you plant roots and find your seat so that you can continue doing the work you love to do.
Limbach frames the book through the lens of buddhism: each of the four noble truths, and the eightfold path, gets explained in general terms and then gets applied to the idea of self worthiness. Each truth and path are described in easy-to-understand, modern terms. This way you get a feel to really apply the works to yourself. Each chapter then ends with a practical tip to use the material in your life.
I liked her voice. Limbach uses her own personality and life experiences to remind the reader that we are not alone and everyone experiences doubt in their own lives. Even the enlightened ones. This book is a wonderful companion and guide for creatives, and anyone experiencing their own dark night of self-doubt. Reading Tea and Cake with Demons will broaden your horizon, doing the techniques Limbach explores will help you plant roots and find your seat so that you can continue doing the work you love to do.
July 13, 2019
"Ambition that's born from shame and self-loathing is powerful, but unfortunately it's a fuel that doesn't burn clean."
This book is a great combination of Buddhist tenants laced with the perspective of self worth and practical exercises to try out some of the concepts and incorporate the ideas into your daily life. Some of these concepts weren't new to me but others were. In some parts, I found myself getting confused about different titles and systems but the concepts underlying them were always interesting and valuable and she did a fantastic job tying them to tangible examples.
"We are all deeply significant, and not at all special. We are all profoundly valuable, whole, complete, and sufficient, and there is nothing unique about this. This distinction can bring us back down to earth and to a sense of steady humility that doesn't diminish our worth."
If you're struggling with self-worth, or even just trying to build out more awareness and intentionality in your life, there is so much gold in this book.
Thank you to Sounds True and Netgalley for an advanced copy in return for an honest review.
This book is a great combination of Buddhist tenants laced with the perspective of self worth and practical exercises to try out some of the concepts and incorporate the ideas into your daily life. Some of these concepts weren't new to me but others were. In some parts, I found myself getting confused about different titles and systems but the concepts underlying them were always interesting and valuable and she did a fantastic job tying them to tangible examples.
"We are all deeply significant, and not at all special. We are all profoundly valuable, whole, complete, and sufficient, and there is nothing unique about this. This distinction can bring us back down to earth and to a sense of steady humility that doesn't diminish our worth."
If you're struggling with self-worth, or even just trying to build out more awareness and intentionality in your life, there is so much gold in this book.
Thank you to Sounds True and Netgalley for an advanced copy in return for an honest review.
April 30, 2021
"If you've ever wished for a friend who would love you as you are, appreciate your genius, and make space for your foibles, welcome you when you're funny and shiny and when you're a complete mess - well, I can introduce you to this person. Rather, your meditation practice can." - Susan Piver
When we demonize our suffering, it never has the chance to show us its profound wisdom, which is tenderness, empathy, and kindness: "Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing." - Naomi Shihab Nye
"Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness." - Chogyam Trungpa
If we learn to rest in discomfort and enjoy pleasure for what it is - a fleeting, wispy thing - without getting overwhelmed by either, we cease to be blown around.
When we demonize our suffering, it never has the chance to show us its profound wisdom, which is tenderness, empathy, and kindness: "Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing." - Naomi Shihab Nye
"Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness." - Chogyam Trungpa
If we learn to rest in discomfort and enjoy pleasure for what it is - a fleeting, wispy thing - without getting overwhelmed by either, we cease to be blown around.
August 14, 2022
A common sense approach to Buddhism without some complicated concepts in more scholarly guides. I think it’s helpful to be familiar with the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path before reading this, if only to have a basic framework for what is discussed. If you have that, the book offers some wonderful insights and ways understand and apply the teachings.
October 20, 2020
I read this for the first time over the New Year, purely on strength of the title. And the concept, of inviting your 'demons' in for tea and cakes, whether buddhist or not, is compelling to me. Pretending everything is Great! Amazing! Fantastic! all the time is, besides dishonest, just plain exhausting.
I had the same reaction to this that I have to most books discussing how to deal with and respond to difficult experiences and feelings: everything was filtered through the "How would this work if I applied it to my mother?" lens, which is also exhausting, and triggering, and no fun. It is hard not to resent the enormous amount of emotional labour that goes in to healing myself from a situation I didn't choose and had no control over.
Very little is applicable to my mother, though, and I wanted to give it a slower read and a fairer consideration. So I started reading it again the very next day.
The second read then became the Covid Perspective, which let me tell you, was a whole different lens.
Covid hasn't affected everyone equally--the "we're all in this together" of the early days has become increasingly tinny to my ears--so a bit of context here might be useful: for us, the first few months were entirely status quo, except that my kid didn't have in-person school and I was working from home. It was Fine. We had my income, we had our home, we didn't get sick.
But as it stretched out, the health care shutdown started affecting my kid profoundly; necessary treatments and therapies didn't start up again until July, and their joints have (literally) deteriorated significantly, their pain increases daily and every week we have to reassess what they can actually do. Meanwhile we are still waiting for a date for surgery that we started working to get them on the list for last year. So while the world's situation has at least seemed to improve around us, ours has been getting worse and worse, and--because our world hates disabled people--there is no financial support for families in our situation.
(That may read oddly to Americans, where through Covid, it seems that the American government hates any American that isn't a corporation; here in Canada, there has been income replacement for almost everyone who has been out of work related to covid, with the exception of work loss due to disability. Kids home because their school is shut due to covid? You can get paid. Kids home because the health care shut down has exacerbated their disability? Sorry, you're SOL.)
I wouldn't want to compare the experience of abusive parenting with the experience of parenting a disabled child through a global pandemic; they're extremely difficult in different ways. Suffice it to say that both provide plenty of demons to contend with.
Reading this book through covid hasn't turned me into a buddhist, mind you, but I have gained more appreciation for it and found a lot of value in the author's approach.
Frankly, I don't like buddhism as it's normally portrayed: sure, you can be an ascetic wandering through the countryside, having taken a vow of poverty and relying on the charity of strangers to meet your needs, but that only works if there's a bunch of "inferior" regular people, working as farmers and janitors and housekeepers, and having families, and otherwise doing the labour and creating the goods that they donate to the monks. I mean. Do your thing. But the relationships appears, to me, entirely parasitic, and in what other context do we elevate the parasite over the host?
(Never mind. I can think of at least a dozen such situations. Starting with patriarchy, continuing right on through white supremacy, taking a pit stop at classism, enjoying the view of anti-indigenous racism, and then disembarking at our destination: valuing human achievement over the rest of the entire natural world.)
Also, I like being attached. Attachment is important. Attachment is the entire basis of healthy human development. If you don't have at least one caregiver passionately attached to you and your welfare in childhood, your life will be difficult, you will suffer, and you may become a source of suffering for others. So when I read or listen to buddhist monks talking about the attachment that's at the root of suffering, it makes me angry; yes, attachment causes suffering, but that's absolutely dwarfed by the suffering caused by non-attachment. There is no end of evidence for this. See: attachment theory.
Limbach managed to write about attachment without triggering the entire set of associated rage surrounding anything that sounds like "you'd be more enlightened if you loved your child and advocated for them less!" Which is an accomplishment. Instead of suggesting that suffering in this kind of situation is evidence of a moral failing of being overly-attached, she writes that it is simply inevitable and a part of being human, so invite the demon in for tea and cakes.
That Limbach has managed to write an entire book on buddhism and its concept of suffering without making me furious either about how it would apply to my mother or how it would apply to my mothering, and which has also been helpful in managing a difficult year, is a minor miracle. I think, if you've read this far, you'll have a pretty good idea of whether or not her ideas are for you. Definitely reading it during a global health crisis is a good proving ground.
I had the same reaction to this that I have to most books discussing how to deal with and respond to difficult experiences and feelings: everything was filtered through the "How would this work if I applied it to my mother?" lens, which is also exhausting, and triggering, and no fun. It is hard not to resent the enormous amount of emotional labour that goes in to healing myself from a situation I didn't choose and had no control over.
Very little is applicable to my mother, though, and I wanted to give it a slower read and a fairer consideration. So I started reading it again the very next day.
The second read then became the Covid Perspective, which let me tell you, was a whole different lens.
Covid hasn't affected everyone equally--the "we're all in this together" of the early days has become increasingly tinny to my ears--so a bit of context here might be useful: for us, the first few months were entirely status quo, except that my kid didn't have in-person school and I was working from home. It was Fine. We had my income, we had our home, we didn't get sick.
But as it stretched out, the health care shutdown started affecting my kid profoundly; necessary treatments and therapies didn't start up again until July, and their joints have (literally) deteriorated significantly, their pain increases daily and every week we have to reassess what they can actually do. Meanwhile we are still waiting for a date for surgery that we started working to get them on the list for last year. So while the world's situation has at least seemed to improve around us, ours has been getting worse and worse, and--because our world hates disabled people--there is no financial support for families in our situation.
(That may read oddly to Americans, where through Covid, it seems that the American government hates any American that isn't a corporation; here in Canada, there has been income replacement for almost everyone who has been out of work related to covid, with the exception of work loss due to disability. Kids home because their school is shut due to covid? You can get paid. Kids home because the health care shut down has exacerbated their disability? Sorry, you're SOL.)
I wouldn't want to compare the experience of abusive parenting with the experience of parenting a disabled child through a global pandemic; they're extremely difficult in different ways. Suffice it to say that both provide plenty of demons to contend with.
Reading this book through covid hasn't turned me into a buddhist, mind you, but I have gained more appreciation for it and found a lot of value in the author's approach.
Frankly, I don't like buddhism as it's normally portrayed: sure, you can be an ascetic wandering through the countryside, having taken a vow of poverty and relying on the charity of strangers to meet your needs, but that only works if there's a bunch of "inferior" regular people, working as farmers and janitors and housekeepers, and having families, and otherwise doing the labour and creating the goods that they donate to the monks. I mean. Do your thing. But the relationships appears, to me, entirely parasitic, and in what other context do we elevate the parasite over the host?
(Never mind. I can think of at least a dozen such situations. Starting with patriarchy, continuing right on through white supremacy, taking a pit stop at classism, enjoying the view of anti-indigenous racism, and then disembarking at our destination: valuing human achievement over the rest of the entire natural world.)
Also, I like being attached. Attachment is important. Attachment is the entire basis of healthy human development. If you don't have at least one caregiver passionately attached to you and your welfare in childhood, your life will be difficult, you will suffer, and you may become a source of suffering for others. So when I read or listen to buddhist monks talking about the attachment that's at the root of suffering, it makes me angry; yes, attachment causes suffering, but that's absolutely dwarfed by the suffering caused by non-attachment. There is no end of evidence for this. See: attachment theory.
Limbach managed to write about attachment without triggering the entire set of associated rage surrounding anything that sounds like "you'd be more enlightened if you loved your child and advocated for them less!" Which is an accomplishment. Instead of suggesting that suffering in this kind of situation is evidence of a moral failing of being overly-attached, she writes that it is simply inevitable and a part of being human, so invite the demon in for tea and cakes.
That Limbach has managed to write an entire book on buddhism and its concept of suffering without making me furious either about how it would apply to my mother or how it would apply to my mothering, and which has also been helpful in managing a difficult year, is a minor miracle. I think, if you've read this far, you'll have a pretty good idea of whether or not her ideas are for you. Definitely reading it during a global health crisis is a good proving ground.
January 14, 2022
I agree with the critiques that this book does not seem to deliver on the premise of the title. That said, it's not terrible. It's another 'buddhism for beginners' book. And the author is, of course, Lodro Rinzler's wife, so if you're wondering how this book got greenlit in a glutted market, the answer is: nepotism.
Now, that's how the world works, I guess, and it wouldn't grate on me so much if she weren't trying so hard to be so damn woke in this book. She grovels about her privilege as a white person, but never deals with the BIG privilege--of getting a book contract because of the man she's schtupping. Hmmmmm.
That sounds unkind, perhaps. so let me continue. The content isn't bad, for what it is, but my yoga teacher training on diversity always asks us to say "who's NOT in the room, and why?" As in, if you look around your yoga class and you see only affluent white women, why are you not seeing Hispanic women, or trans people, etc. It's a pretty powerful question and one I apply here. The gestures toward boilerplate woke talking points (yes, she drops the BLM protests) absolutely leave anyone who is not left of Bernie Sanders out of the room and conversation. You can talk about problems in the world without picking the politicized one that will automatically make half the population put the book down, just sayin', and if you don't think MAGA could benefit from a little Buddhism...good Lord they probably need it more than anyone else.
Same with her weak gesture against capitalism...as she's a white woman who sells an unessential product in a free market. I am SO FRICKING SICK of people selling me things to rail against capitalism. Yes I'm also mad I'm dumb enough to keep buying them, too. There's enough aaaargh to go around.
The other issue that was annoying in this book is the love bombing. My yoga teacher training people do this all the time and it bugs me to hell and back, too, so I admit I might be primed to irritation. My YTT, I've slowly realized, does a lot of cult like stuff, and I think deliberately (how you gonna get people to come back and shell out more $ for another course with you? Sounds like Scientology, right?) While they will tsk tsk at the idea of the guru, they set themselves up and lean into the identity as gurus--the FB group is full of people worshipping them and not wanting to make any move in life without consulting them. The key thing they do is this love bomb, where they will tell you "Oh I love you". Not in a generic sense, but specifically, you personally by name. It's so CREEPY. So I'm working through all this ugh that I paid for a cult membership basically so when I encounter this woman using the same basic love bomb phrasing, it just grosses me out. This whole long paragraph is to explain why the author going "I see you, and I love you" three times in the same chapter got on my NERVES.
ALL THAT ASIDE, if you are perfectly fine with meme phrases and an absolute stranger who is reducing you to one character trait (someone who overshops when stressed, etc) and then tells you that based on that thing, she loves you), and shoehorning in, at really awkward moments, some woke references, it's...not bad. It is a quick intro to the Four Noble Truths, and expands the fourth into the 8 Beneficences, in short bite sized chapters. You could read a chapter a night get some benefit from it.
But yeah, it's just that. It's not what the title implies, bringing some psychological expertise to dealing with the bad stuff that comes up during meditation or practice, or life.
Now, that's how the world works, I guess, and it wouldn't grate on me so much if she weren't trying so hard to be so damn woke in this book. She grovels about her privilege as a white person, but never deals with the BIG privilege--of getting a book contract because of the man she's schtupping. Hmmmmm.
That sounds unkind, perhaps. so let me continue. The content isn't bad, for what it is, but my yoga teacher training on diversity always asks us to say "who's NOT in the room, and why?" As in, if you look around your yoga class and you see only affluent white women, why are you not seeing Hispanic women, or trans people, etc. It's a pretty powerful question and one I apply here. The gestures toward boilerplate woke talking points (yes, she drops the BLM protests) absolutely leave anyone who is not left of Bernie Sanders out of the room and conversation. You can talk about problems in the world without picking the politicized one that will automatically make half the population put the book down, just sayin', and if you don't think MAGA could benefit from a little Buddhism...good Lord they probably need it more than anyone else.
Same with her weak gesture against capitalism...as she's a white woman who sells an unessential product in a free market. I am SO FRICKING SICK of people selling me things to rail against capitalism. Yes I'm also mad I'm dumb enough to keep buying them, too. There's enough aaaargh to go around.
The other issue that was annoying in this book is the love bombing. My yoga teacher training people do this all the time and it bugs me to hell and back, too, so I admit I might be primed to irritation. My YTT, I've slowly realized, does a lot of cult like stuff, and I think deliberately (how you gonna get people to come back and shell out more $ for another course with you? Sounds like Scientology, right?) While they will tsk tsk at the idea of the guru, they set themselves up and lean into the identity as gurus--the FB group is full of people worshipping them and not wanting to make any move in life without consulting them. The key thing they do is this love bomb, where they will tell you "Oh I love you". Not in a generic sense, but specifically, you personally by name. It's so CREEPY. So I'm working through all this ugh that I paid for a cult membership basically so when I encounter this woman using the same basic love bomb phrasing, it just grosses me out. This whole long paragraph is to explain why the author going "I see you, and I love you" three times in the same chapter got on my NERVES.
ALL THAT ASIDE, if you are perfectly fine with meme phrases and an absolute stranger who is reducing you to one character trait (someone who overshops when stressed, etc) and then tells you that based on that thing, she loves you), and shoehorning in, at really awkward moments, some woke references, it's...not bad. It is a quick intro to the Four Noble Truths, and expands the fourth into the 8 Beneficences, in short bite sized chapters. You could read a chapter a night get some benefit from it.
But yeah, it's just that. It's not what the title implies, bringing some psychological expertise to dealing with the bad stuff that comes up during meditation or practice, or life.
July 15, 2020
It started out good, but I didn't care for it the longer that I read it...
April 19, 2024
A book full of gentle reminders about ways to think and be in the world. Several moments offered added depth or context, and at the end of each section there were practical suggestions for applying the ideas to your own life.
Moments that stood out:
“I consider holding my seat on the cushion to be a training ground for learning to take up space in a way that is gracious and gentle, without the aftertaste of bravado or self-protection.”
“One moment I’m feeling good, and the next moment my doubt comes creeping out from behind a corner with a ‘70s porn mustache and an open trench coat to remind me of how self-conscious I should be.”
“Of course, there’s no guarantee, ever, that choosing what is popular will keep you safe or that choosing what is right will make you heard.”
“Unchecked growth of an organism destroys the ecosystem that it inhabits. It becomes a cancer to its host. Gain and growth without loss and decay are simply unsustainable. This is a natural system of checks and balances.“ (See: Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May)
“We are all deeply significant, and not at all special. We are all profoundly valuable, whole, complete, and sufficient, and there is nothing unique about this.”
“We’re swimming in stories, both societal and personal, and we’re all living under the influence of our storytelling minds.“
“Never underestimate the human imperative to feel safe. We can spend an unexamined lifetime seeking out and protecting what gives us this feeling even if it isn’t always in our best interest. This, too, is karma, a deeply ingrained impulse that is executed in habitual ways.”
She references Simon Sinek in such a way that vividly recalled my experience with his book Find Your Why: A Practical Guide to Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team.
It was also a clash of two books when I was in the midst of this and simultaneously was reading about Buddha's journey in Land of the Dead: Lessons from the Underworld on Storytelling and Living.
Moments that stood out:
“I consider holding my seat on the cushion to be a training ground for learning to take up space in a way that is gracious and gentle, without the aftertaste of bravado or self-protection.”
“One moment I’m feeling good, and the next moment my doubt comes creeping out from behind a corner with a ‘70s porn mustache and an open trench coat to remind me of how self-conscious I should be.”
“Of course, there’s no guarantee, ever, that choosing what is popular will keep you safe or that choosing what is right will make you heard.”
“Unchecked growth of an organism destroys the ecosystem that it inhabits. It becomes a cancer to its host. Gain and growth without loss and decay are simply unsustainable. This is a natural system of checks and balances.“ (See: Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May)
“We are all deeply significant, and not at all special. We are all profoundly valuable, whole, complete, and sufficient, and there is nothing unique about this.”
“We’re swimming in stories, both societal and personal, and we’re all living under the influence of our storytelling minds.“
“Never underestimate the human imperative to feel safe. We can spend an unexamined lifetime seeking out and protecting what gives us this feeling even if it isn’t always in our best interest. This, too, is karma, a deeply ingrained impulse that is executed in habitual ways.”
She references Simon Sinek in such a way that vividly recalled my experience with his book Find Your Why: A Practical Guide to Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team.
It was also a clash of two books when I was in the midst of this and simultaneously was reading about Buddha's journey in Land of the Dead: Lessons from the Underworld on Storytelling and Living.
April 16, 2020
I am a fan of Adreanna Limbach, having participated for 4 years every January in her online 31 days of devotion. As it happens I am in the middle of a 5-month Buddhist Immersion program and this book has been an excellent accompaniment to it. Biologically, humans are like snow-flakes, no two are exactly alike - we are all different. But certainly our experience of the human condition, the way we think, the way we perceive ourselves and the world is not so different. How else to explain that I directly related with every section in this book. "Yes! That's me" "Hey, I do that!" "You're bang on there, Adreanna!" "How true!" It's almost like she was in my head. My favorite line of the book: "You probably have a weird relationship with money".
May 16, 2022
I had high hopes, and I must admit, the cover and the title did initially pull me in, but I kept nodding off as I was reading it. I don't think it was poorly-written by any means; however, I was not able to connect with it at all. The book was a pretty basic and modernized introduction to Buddhism, but I don't think it was very in-depth nor did the information provided appeal to my life very much. I'm sure it has its place in helping and inspiring some people, but I'm not one of them. However, I do like the little exercises and meditations at the end of each chapter, as well as the overall aesthetic of Limbach's writing style. If she wrote something else, I'd definitely still consider reading it.
September 18, 2021
4/5 💫
A great read for anyone looking for guidance. I’ve read a lot of Buddhist based books but I highly recommend this read for anyone new to Buddhism or has their skepticism but is interested to learn more. The author is honest and straightforward about what it means/takes to see yourself, and I mean seeing ALL of yourself. I highly enjoyed how casual her dialogue and writing style felt as it definitely made it more easier to understand when she discussed the core of Buddhism (Four Noble Truths & Eightfold Path). I also loved how she simplified and made the teachings applicable to modern day. A wonderful reminder to be compassionate to ourselves and pour ourselves some damn tea. ❤️🔥
A great read for anyone looking for guidance. I’ve read a lot of Buddhist based books but I highly recommend this read for anyone new to Buddhism or has their skepticism but is interested to learn more. The author is honest and straightforward about what it means/takes to see yourself, and I mean seeing ALL of yourself. I highly enjoyed how casual her dialogue and writing style felt as it definitely made it more easier to understand when she discussed the core of Buddhism (Four Noble Truths & Eightfold Path). I also loved how she simplified and made the teachings applicable to modern day. A wonderful reminder to be compassionate to ourselves and pour ourselves some damn tea. ❤️🔥
October 13, 2021
This book might just change my life. I found it serendipitously when using the library's website to put a hold on a book for my kid and happened to glance at the list of new books they got in recently. I do not seek out books related to Eastern philosophy or religion after taking a class in college on just that and discovering a lot of sexism towards women in them. It was a whim to put a copy on hold bc my bf has a lot of deep seeded issues as far as his self worth goes.
After reading the 1st couple chapters I was really wanting to underline so many parts that I stopped reading and went out to buy my own copy as soon as I could.
After reading the 1st couple chapters I was really wanting to underline so many parts that I stopped reading and went out to buy my own copy as soon as I could.
July 9, 2019
Live today!!
Adreanna Limbach brings the four noble truths and the eightfold path to life in this book. I have read about these topics so many times, yet an exact understanding has eluded me. Adreanna talks about these topics in simple words as well as in adequate detail. The details are what brought an extra dimension to understanding these topics. I will revisit the sections of this book as and when I need guidance on a particular topic.
I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley.
Adreanna Limbach brings the four noble truths and the eightfold path to life in this book. I have read about these topics so many times, yet an exact understanding has eluded me. Adreanna talks about these topics in simple words as well as in adequate detail. The details are what brought an extra dimension to understanding these topics. I will revisit the sections of this book as and when I need guidance on a particular topic.
I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley.
October 25, 2021
I loved the concept and it felt like a nice conversation with the author. But she was also able to sneak in illumination on the basic tenets of Buddhism, which I really appreciated, without being proselytizing. It was just these are helpful ways of seeing things, less stressful way to see the world and go with its flow. I appreciate it added to my depth of Buddhist knowledge a bit but the real work is what I put in to it, and the conversations I need to have with my own demons. I'll set up a tea party for them soon.
January 21, 2021
Wonderful
I often start books like this and get bored with them and don't finish them but this one was so easy to read and the language so easy to understand it didn't feel boring at all it was amazing and I loved every word in it. I understand mediation better and why we need to deal with our demons and how. I've even gone on to do Adreanna's meditation challenge and am loving it.
I often start books like this and get bored with them and don't finish them but this one was so easy to read and the language so easy to understand it didn't feel boring at all it was amazing and I loved every word in it. I understand mediation better and why we need to deal with our demons and how. I've even gone on to do Adreanna's meditation challenge and am loving it.
February 14, 2020
It was an easy read and explains the four noble truths in everyday language. I recommend this book more for generation X or millennials . I think they will be comfortable and emphasize with her mode of writing and language. It address things that are more important to them than they would be for an older generation. For example How to Wake up by Toni Bernhard is more appealing to me.
May 5, 2020
Let’s be honest, the title is what sold this book to me. And I’m glad it grabbed my attention. The first part kinda dragged a bit in my opinion but once she started digging into The Four Noble Truths and explaining them in a modern way, I totally dug it. I enjoyed the read and will be taking some nuggets with me on my continued journey.
July 22, 2020
This is my second time through this wonderful book. The author is clear, brilliant and funny. All of us have 'shadows'. She models inviting them to 'tea' and making friends with them. This doesn't give the shadows the run of the place, like you might expect, instead it allows them to mellow out and shrink down to size.... and they cause a whole lot less trouble. Highly recommend this book.
June 26, 2022
A very digestible anecdotal introduction to Buddhist philosophy, the human condition and the yearning for more which binds us all. A message which needs to reach each of us to know that we are not broken in our darkest moments and that it is simply our humanness to feel the full spectrum of human emotions.
September 7, 2020
This book perfectly breaks down what is like to have the voice of ego and in turn how to make peace with it. In a well composed and well versed matter, the author brings you through the eightfold path and the four noble truths. I will be saving this one to read again when I need a reminder ❤️
November 17, 2021
A fresh modern voice on mindfulness; not just what it is or how to do it, but where it comes from and where it takes you. The title itself is the single most important lesson in the practice: to care for the messy bits.
September 30, 2024
I learned a lot about how can I apply the basics of Buddhism in my everyday life. (The Four Noble Truths, The Eightfold Path, etc.) Not a scholar type of book. It's very readable if you slow down a bit.
March 2, 2025
Adreanna Limbach makes Buddhist teachings accessible and engaging. I loved the exercises and meditations she offers throughout the book. I read this book with my Buddhist Sangha and look forward to reading it again!
July 30, 2019
This book right now is a continuous read.
August 7, 2019
This book was so refreshing! The author explains key Buddhist concepts in a way that is easy to understand. I feel conflicted with the title.. but this is a great read.
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