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Wholehearted: Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up
An inspiring book that will help readers rediscover their values and discover a way to truly live life to the fullest.
The Dalai Lama on Wholehearted : “Intimacy is based on the willingness to open ourselves to many others, to family, friends, and even strangers, forming genuine and deep bonds based on common humanity. Koshin Paley Ellison’s teachings share the way forward into a path of connection, compassion, and intimacy.”
Each of us has an enormous capacity for love—a deep well of attention and care that we can offer to ourselves and others. With guidance that is both simple and wholly transformative, Koshin Paley Ellison, Zen teacher and psychotherapist, shows us how to uncover pay attention, be of service, and be with others.
With this inspiring and down-to-earth book, drawn from the Zen precepts and illustrated with anecdotes from Koshin’s own life and practice, you’ll learn how to
Each chapter closes with a contemplation to help integrate the teachings into your life.
This book is about getting back in touch with your values, so you can live energetically, authentically, and lovingly. This an invitation to close the gaps we create between ourselves and others—to wake up to ourselves and the world around us.
It’s time to live wholeheartedly.
The Dalai Lama on Wholehearted : “Intimacy is based on the willingness to open ourselves to many others, to family, friends, and even strangers, forming genuine and deep bonds based on common humanity. Koshin Paley Ellison’s teachings share the way forward into a path of connection, compassion, and intimacy.”
Each of us has an enormous capacity for love—a deep well of attention and care that we can offer to ourselves and others. With guidance that is both simple and wholly transformative, Koshin Paley Ellison, Zen teacher and psychotherapist, shows us how to uncover pay attention, be of service, and be with others.
With this inspiring and down-to-earth book, drawn from the Zen precepts and illustrated with anecdotes from Koshin’s own life and practice, you’ll learn how to
Each chapter closes with a contemplation to help integrate the teachings into your life.
This book is about getting back in touch with your values, so you can live energetically, authentically, and lovingly. This an invitation to close the gaps we create between ourselves and others—to wake up to ourselves and the world around us.
It’s time to live wholeheartedly.
208 pages, Paperback
First published June 18, 2019
89 people are currently reading
403 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
December 22, 2019
Lots of great thinking points ~ not deep coverage but a nice one to dip into daily for contemplation
April 25, 2020
I really love this book, despite the lame subtitle. Part of it is the way the audio version is read. The author has such a unique voice, filled with kindness but also like he's about to burst into tears.
I read a lot of this type of book — Buddhist books on how to be a better person. Or I should say I start a lot of this type of book. I usually get bored and set them aside, having heard most of the ancient Buddhist tales and how they apply today, and the exhortation to be present, etc. But this one stands out, even if I can’t really quote favorite passages.
A lot of Buddhist teachers live in such a bubble, that they have no concept of how real people can apply their teachings to real life. Not so with Koshin Paley Ellison. He has his own internet stalker troll, he's friends with the man who lives outside the Starbucks near his Zen center and has schizophrenia, he does hospice care, he loves his iPhone and teaches meditation to prisoners. His stories have been tested for b.s. And when he relates ancient Buddhist stories, they are weird, obscure ones.
There are dozens of memorable anecdotes. I especially think of this one apparently true story about a father's dying wish to see his daughter one last time. The author's student contacted the daughter who said no. The man kept asking to see his daughter. The student tried again and she finally agreed. The daughter comes into the hospice room, yells at him that he was an a-hole and a terrible father, then walks out.
My student went into the room in a panic, apologizing. “I’m so sorry,” she said to the father. “I didn’t know that was going to happen.” The father responded, “That’s exactly what I wanted to happen. The truth is, I was a terrible father. She’s never had the opportunity to tell me that to my face, and I know it was eating her alive.” So that was his last gift to his daughter — the gift of having her truth heard, which was perhaps a relief to them both.
Anyway, short and thoughtful — and applicable to real people.
Grade: A
I read a lot of this type of book — Buddhist books on how to be a better person. Or I should say I start a lot of this type of book. I usually get bored and set them aside, having heard most of the ancient Buddhist tales and how they apply today, and the exhortation to be present, etc. But this one stands out, even if I can’t really quote favorite passages.
A lot of Buddhist teachers live in such a bubble, that they have no concept of how real people can apply their teachings to real life. Not so with Koshin Paley Ellison. He has his own internet stalker troll, he's friends with the man who lives outside the Starbucks near his Zen center and has schizophrenia, he does hospice care, he loves his iPhone and teaches meditation to prisoners. His stories have been tested for b.s. And when he relates ancient Buddhist stories, they are weird, obscure ones.
There are dozens of memorable anecdotes. I especially think of this one apparently true story about a father's dying wish to see his daughter one last time. The author's student contacted the daughter who said no. The man kept asking to see his daughter. The student tried again and she finally agreed. The daughter comes into the hospice room, yells at him that he was an a-hole and a terrible father, then walks out.
My student went into the room in a panic, apologizing. “I’m so sorry,” she said to the father. “I didn’t know that was going to happen.” The father responded, “That’s exactly what I wanted to happen. The truth is, I was a terrible father. She’s never had the opportunity to tell me that to my face, and I know it was eating her alive.” So that was his last gift to his daughter — the gift of having her truth heard, which was perhaps a relief to them both.
Anyway, short and thoughtful — and applicable to real people.
Grade: A
August 15, 2025
A lot of good advice and things to reflect on. I enjoyed that this didn’t have the stiff air that a lot of self-help books have. However, having read this as a typical book, I didn’t feel like I’m going to walk away with anything new. I think you’d have to really sit with each chapter for a few weeks before moving on to get the full effect.
This is a book swap read from my coworker so definitely out of my genre but it was nice to read something new.
This is a book swap read from my coworker so definitely out of my genre but it was nice to read something new.
January 3, 2020
GMO less Nuggets of wisdom.
July 23, 2020
At such a time of crisis, tragedy, and division in our country as we face each day in the surreal and frightening 2020 of Covid-19, this little gem of a book is just what I needed to stumble upon... “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” How to keep openhearted and compassionately engaged when I’m actually mostly afraid and angry?
Koshin Paley Ellison recognized me before I’d even opened his book: “The zombies are here, and they are us.” In a clear, honest, and sometimes hilarious style, he offers guidance through the Zen precepts as a way of “bringing connection and care into your life in a very real way.” Sign me up. Koshin and his husband, Robert Chodo Campbell, walk the walk on their Zen path. Through their work at the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care, they are tireless and generous in offering education/training, actual care of the elderly, sick, and dying; and meditation guidance. They have expanded their service to include multiple online offerings, absolute lifelines to so many of us trying to navigate the current fear and isolation with which we live. I look forward to going back to the beginning of Wholehearted to work with the reflection questions included for each precept and to beginning an online course on the precepts this fall.
Koshin Paley Ellison recognized me before I’d even opened his book: “The zombies are here, and they are us.” In a clear, honest, and sometimes hilarious style, he offers guidance through the Zen precepts as a way of “bringing connection and care into your life in a very real way.” Sign me up. Koshin and his husband, Robert Chodo Campbell, walk the walk on their Zen path. Through their work at the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care, they are tireless and generous in offering education/training, actual care of the elderly, sick, and dying; and meditation guidance. They have expanded their service to include multiple online offerings, absolute lifelines to so many of us trying to navigate the current fear and isolation with which we live. I look forward to going back to the beginning of Wholehearted to work with the reflection questions included for each precept and to beginning an online course on the precepts this fall.
June 24, 2024
I listened to this on Audible, a wonderful "read" . The author describes the daily demands of living up to our values, and clearly addresses the challenges of everyday life... A favorite quote appears below...
“ It’s like being in traffic. One second everything is fine, and the next the car in front of us has cut us off, and before we know it we are screaming and giving the finger to some old lady who missed her turn.
Life becomes alive only when we are expansive, and we can expand only when we learn how to relax: into our seat, into the floor, into our breath, and into our belly. From this place of relaxation, we can bear witness to anything. This is how we do good by bearing witness.”
― Koshin Paley Ellison, Wholehearted
“ It’s like being in traffic. One second everything is fine, and the next the car in front of us has cut us off, and before we know it we are screaming and giving the finger to some old lady who missed her turn.
Life becomes alive only when we are expansive, and we can expand only when we learn how to relax: into our seat, into the floor, into our breath, and into our belly. From this place of relaxation, we can bear witness to anything. This is how we do good by bearing witness.”
― Koshin Paley Ellison, Wholehearted
August 21, 2020
Koshin Paley is the founder of the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care, directs contemplative care services for a number of lead hospitals in the US and is a Jungian Psychologist. He is also comfortable in exposing his own biases and vulnerabilities in the service of helping others to awaken. This is a little gem of a book that is deceptively simple but entirely profound. 4 stars because it’s not longer. Written in plain language, with practical questions at the end of each chapter. I can see myself going back to it. You can dip in and out if it or use it as a meditation catalyst.
December 8, 2019
Gentle and wise. Accepting and reassuring.
You will not find some magic trick in this book that will effortlessly transform your life. After all, there is no such thing.
But you will be told stories about situations in everyday life, see how we all struggle in them and how we can be better (not perfect).
I listened to the audiobook narrated by the author himself, and it was a very positive and calming experience.
You will not find some magic trick in this book that will effortlessly transform your life. After all, there is no such thing.
But you will be told stories about situations in everyday life, see how we all struggle in them and how we can be better (not perfect).
I listened to the audiobook narrated by the author himself, and it was a very positive and calming experience.
January 5, 2020
This is a nice, short read on the principles of Zen buddhism. The author illustrates the concepts he discusses with anecdotes from his personal life. I loved reading his stories, and I enjoyed the format. However, I think I will need to return to this book a few times to fully absorb its teachings (note: this could just be the result of my unfamiliarity with the precepts he is illustrating).
March 29, 2020
This book was a delight to read. It’s compact and succinct but most important of all, there is a great depth of profound heart within even the shortest of passages. I also really appreciated the humor and blunt way that Kosshin writes/thinks. There were many moments of laughing out loud and reading out loud a passage to my partner.
January 31, 2020
Insightful and wide ranging read. Ellison is very receptive and passionate about finding our best selves and that comes across very much in this book. While it doesn’t offer as deep or descriptive ideas, the advice is sound and easy to follow.
March 10, 2020
What an inspiring read. I loved his book, with it's insight into the buddhist precepts and living a life full of love and compassion with the realism that perfection is an impossibility it's just about doing the best you can.
July 9, 2019
Lovely, practical, accessible, and affirming - thank you for this wonderful book!
August 27, 2019
I love the way this book is written. It is an honest and inspirational book that gives gentle reminders of what is important in life. It is funny in parts and also realistic in others.
November 1, 2019
Wholeheartedly gifted many nourishing pondering moments as I meandered mindfully through this excellent read...... Some books stretch you and allow you to grow...
December 25, 2019
A helpful reminder of Buddhist principles.
May 24, 2020
A simple, helpful little book. Fast read and full of highlights. Makes a lot of sense, whether or not you’re a Buddhist.
June 30, 2020
Should be required reading. Very simple advice that is very hard to put into practice! Thank you.
August 20, 2020
Beautifully written
Koshin's book is insightful, easy to read and practical to living in today's society. Full of love and honesty. Highly recommended!
Koshin's book is insightful, easy to read and practical to living in today's society. Full of love and honesty. Highly recommended!
February 3, 2021
Awesome book. I wish it would have been longer.
October 2, 2022
Lovely, clear, down to earth dharma.
November 14, 2022
A worthwhile read and a gentle reminder for mindfulness.
February 23, 2024
Sweet little book
August 31, 2024
Very succinct practical spiritual book based on the author’s Zen Buddhist practice. It is divided into 16 short chapters each with things to contemplate at the end
April 2, 2025
I listened to a podcast with Koshin and really enjoyed his approach to life, but was underwhelmed with the depth of this book.
February 18, 2021
Love this book.
This book has become a daily read for me. A chapter a day, it’s part of my zen practice now.
This book has become a daily read for me. A chapter a day, it’s part of my zen practice now.
February 26, 2022
“And it’s often the very worst circumstances, and the most horrendous people, that are the best teachers.”
“I am me because of you.”
Ichi-go ichi-e : one moment, one chance
“This dewdrop world - / Is a dewdrop world, / And yet, and yet...” Issa (“sweetness is always available to us, if we’re willing to fully enter our life, just as it it.”)
“It’s called meditation practice because we never get good at it.”
“The reward is life itself.”
“I am me because of you.”
Ichi-go ichi-e : one moment, one chance
“This dewdrop world - / Is a dewdrop world, / And yet, and yet...” Issa (“sweetness is always available to us, if we’re willing to fully enter our life, just as it it.”)
“It’s called meditation practice because we never get good at it.”
“The reward is life itself.”
February 6, 2020
Wonderful
Like a well folded paper plane,
This book just soars so very easily through your mind.
Each chapter is a precept of buddhism dealt with in practical, digestible language. If you're looking to learn about buddhism, or just kick depression to the curb- peep it.
Like a well folded paper plane,
This book just soars so very easily through your mind.
Each chapter is a precept of buddhism dealt with in practical, digestible language. If you're looking to learn about buddhism, or just kick depression to the curb- peep it.
October 28, 2019
Wonderful audio book! I love Koshin's wisdom.
July 30, 2024
Probably best to read and meditate on one chapter at a time.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews