Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults

by Audrey Monke, Tina Payne Bryson (Foreword)

Audrey "Sunshine" Monke, mother of five and camp owner-director, shares nine powerful parenting techniques-inspired by the research-based practices of summer camp-to help kids thrive and families become closer.

Research has proven that kids are happier and gain essential social and emotional skills at camp. A recognized parenting expert, Audrey Monke distills what she's learned from thousands of interactions with campers, camp counselors, and parents, and from her research in positive psychology, to offer intentional strategies parents can use to foster the benefits of camp at home.

Our screen-obsessed, competitive society makes it harder than ever to raise happy, thriving kids. But there are tried-and-true methods that can help. Instead of rearing a generation of children who are overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, and who struggle to become independent, responsible adults, parents can create a culture that promotes the growth of important character traits and the social skills kids need for meaningful, successful lives.

Thousands of parents attest to the "magical" benefits of summer camp for their kids, noting their children return more joyful, positive, confident, and resilient after just a few weeks. But you can learn exactly what it takes to promote these benefits at home. Complete with specific ideas to implement the most effective summer camp secrets, Happy Campers is a one of a kind resource for raising happy, socially intelligent, successful kids.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Education, Psychology

272 pages, Hardcover

Published May 7, 2019

About the author

Audrey Monke has been the owner and director of Gold Arrow Camp in Lakeshore, California, for thirty years and is among the nation’s most well-respected experts on the topic of summer camp and positive psychology. A graduate of Stanford University (BA, international relations, 1988), she also earned her master’s degree in psychology from Fresno State University, where she conducted research on the impact of camp experiences on children’s social skills and well-being. Monke, also known by her camp nickname “Sunshine,” has researched and written extensively on the topics of summer camp, social skills, parenting, and well-being on her blog at Sunshine-Parenting.com and in other publications. She distills big topics into manageable, easy-to-understand guidelines and shares her knowledge with parents through her podcast (Sunshine Parenting), writing and speaking. In collaboration with parents, camp counselors, and teachers, Monke’s mission is to help raise a generation of kids who become competent, kind, independent, and thriving adults.
She is the mother of five kids (ages fifteen to twenty-five) and lives with her husband, Steve, and two teenage sons in Clovis, California.

Reviews

[Audrey Monke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read this many times, because I wrote it. :) So my review might be biased, but I really do like what I wrote & I hope that the book is helpful for others. Thanks for reading Happy Campers!!

[Kayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was a little wary at first, thinking that maybe this book was going to be kitschy and full of platitudes, but Monke's Masters in psychology combines with her bubbly personality to make this both an engaging and useful read.
The thing that I enjoy about reading parenting books is that even when they are intended for parents a little farther along in their parenting journey than I am (I have an almost-2-year-old and I am expecting baby #2 in December), I still find lots to glean from it and find that quite a bit of it is applicable to my work as a teacher. I teach 1st grade, so a lot of the social-emotional skills that are a highlight of the positive guidance style of parenting that Monke is highlighting here are the nitty-gritty of my everyday experiences with my students. It also, of course, gives me a lot of perspective about what course to chart moving forward with my own kids.
I love all of the actionable ideas she includes in the book... she really is laying out a game plan for how to teach certain skills and values to kids and it feels very doable.
I especially loved the chapters on helping kids be kind and teaching them the social skills they'll need to make friends. She comes at it from a very reasonable perspective of helping kids develop the skills they need rather than intervening for them (the whole book is framed that way but I feel that explicitly teaching these particular topics is something that is missing from a lot of parenting books).
As a teacher, I also really appreciated the time she spent clarifying bullying vs. rudeness vs. meanness. Very often parents hear from their kids about things going on at school and either a) assume their child is being bullied, or b) don't want to overreact and do nothing, sometimes to the detriment of their child's wellbeing. Monke gives us very specific definitions and questions to ask to determine what is actually happening so we know how to move forward.
The resources included in the back of the book (and at happycampersbook.com) are useful and help provide jumping-off points for what she shares in the book. I will definitely want to revisit this a few times as my kids get older.

[Greta (Upcloseandbookish) · Rating 5 out of 5]

HAPPY CAMPERS

“A ship is safe in harbor,
But that’s not what ships were built for”

-attributed to John A. Shedd

I really, really enjoyed this book. It gave me all the “happy feelings” of summer camp, days full of joy and long summer nights!

Written by Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, mother of five children and owner-director of Gold Arrow Camp, it is based on the author’s extensive experience on the skills that our children need to thrive as adults.
She uses 9 Camp Secrets proven again and again to help children to cultivate important life skills for them to have a happy life.

Connection Comes First
Catch Them Doing Something Right
Positive Practices Produce Optimistic Kids
All Kids Can Be More Independent
Grit Is Grown Outside the Comfort Zone
Kids Are More Capable Than Parents Think They Are
Kids Thrive with Structure
Make it Cool to Be Kind
Coach Kids to Better Friendships

Every chapter presents a lot of different strategies to implement the “camp secret”. At the end of each chapter there are concrete ideas and steps that you can use in your own home! These are: One Simple Thing (basic advice), the Sticky Note Solution, How to Make it Fun, Around the Campfire (how to discuss that particular challenge during dinnertime / bedtime), a Family Meeting Topic and Diving Deeper (a more detailed approach).

At the end of the book, there is a Ready for Adulthood Checklist which is an extensive list of all skills that an adult needs to thrive in our world.

An excellent book on parenting written in an easy and relatable language that is full of practical advice on raising happy kids!

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Happy Campers, Audrey Monke provides families with all the tools they need to bring the well-documented benefits of camp into their daily lives at home. By exploring the intentional mindsets and practices behind the magic of camp, Happy Campers shares specific ways we can help our children develop confidence, connection, and well-being. Whether the reader is looking for simple strategies to put into place right away, or is eager to explore the core values that shape their family priorities, this book delivers. Importantly, Audrey writes with the joy and enthusiasm of a dynamic and encouraging camp leader, who is there to remind us of the supports and experiences that matter most for our kids’ long-term well-being, and to highlight the importance of having fun along the way.

[Anne Driscoll · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to receive an ARC (advanced reader copy) and cannot wait to host Audrey at my shop for a book signing & author chat.
Audrey is able to guide readers through important topics such as, connection, unplugging and setting goals - both for ourselves as parents and with our children.
Audrey puts her unique experience as a camp owner/director and mother of 5 to the page and the results are phenomenal. I highly recommend this book if you’re looking to connect more deeply with your children - and with yourself.

[K.J. Dell'Antonia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book (I also blurbed it, full disclosure, but that's because I, as previously stated, loved it!) It's full of things you can put into place NOW, whether you're a "camp parent" or, like me, just a regular old boring parent whose kids go to the local pool and play in the yard in the summer until they're old enough to get a job or something, jeez.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Monke absolutely knows what she is talking about. I read this book slowly - took a break in the middle to really let the first half sink in and try to implement some ideas. This is one of the most level headed parenting books I’ve read. Easy, specific tips on creating opportunities to develop grit, resilience and character.

[Thomas I. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate to receive an advance copy of this wonderful book and highly recommend it for parents. Inspiring and irresistibly practical! Happy Campers is a post-millennial parenting treasure--brimming with dozens of essential, achievable and transformative parenting strategies. Laugh and cry with Audrey Monke as she masterfully distills a lifetime of professional camp director wisdom that will guide your family to great joy and fun together while becoming more deeply optimistic, communicative, resilient, adaptable, socially competent and emotionally confident.

[Brooke Cheley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book full of easy practices to put into action at home.

[Jeff Gamble · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audrey Monke does a fantastic job of taking what she has learned as a camp owner and researcher and distilling it into lessons that parents can use to help them raise confident, happy and engaged children.

[Riley Hughes · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the premise, but didn't love actually reading it. I didn't really expect it to be such a heavy parenting book, which I could have done more research on before. This felt very whitewashed, as the camping world tends to be, but there were some discerning comments made about "inner city" kids and their relationship to camp. It shaped the way I read the rest of the book. There are definitely good takeaways, and as someone who loves camp, I think there are tons of great lessons to take away. I was just thrown off from the beginning.

[Christine Carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

For the last decade, I've witnessed camp transform my children. Summer after summer, my kids come home more confident, joyful, and compassionate. I've always wished that we could bring the magic of camp home. Now we can! I've been a parenting and happiness expert for more than 15 years, and I can honestly say that Happy Campers is one of the best distillations and applications of research-backed practices for parenting happy, self-motivated, kind, and resilient kids I've seen yet.

-Christine Carter, Ph.D., author of Raising Happiness and The Sweet Spot

[Bonnye Reed · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audrey Monke, the mother of five and owner of Golden Arrow Camp in Sierra National Forest in CA, has shared with us what she has learned in her 30 years of kids, camp, and campers that we can implement in our everyday world to ease the lives of our youngsters. Her positive attitude and willingness to accept youngsters at their own self-recognized level are telling. It is so easy to lose the connections we share with our kids in the day-to-day hassles of life by forgetting that they also have opinions and thoughts and dreams that we might overlook when the trash doesn't get taken out and no one can even see the floor of their rooms and bills need to be paid and the laundry is piled neck high. Ms. Monke's suggestions are spot on and ones we all need to re-enforce in our everyday lives. Even her chapter titles will spur you on to looking at life a little differently - and her words will inspire you as they have me. This is a book I will gift to my great nieces, the new mothers of the world of tomorrow. I wish it had been written many years ago.

I think the most important information is in how to recognize and handle bullying from the point of view of the Bullier and the bullied. But also the chapter on recognizing the growth and capability of children as they mature is essential. And the knowledge that 'grit is grown outside the comfort zone.' And 'make it cool to be kind.' All parents and grandparents need to read this book. And send a kid to camp...

I received a free electronic copy of this self-help book from Netgalley, Audrey Monke, and Center Street Publishers. Thank you all for sharing your hard work with me. I have read this book of my own volition, and this review reflects my honest opinion of this work.
pub date May 7, 2019
Center Street Publishers - Hatchette Book Group
Reviewed on May 16, 2019, at Goodreads, Netgalley, Amazon, B&N, BookBub, and Kobo.

[Gretchen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerful, positive resource for parents AND educators. I’m so excited to implement some of these practices in my high school classroom next year!

[Shannon Navin · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you've seen my other recent posts, then you know that we just sent my 11-year old son to overnight camp for the first time. It was quite the learning experience for all of us so I was extremely interested in reading Happy Campers by Audrey Monke. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect...was she going to recommend that we canoe every day and sing campfire songs every night? I must say, however, that I was absolutely delighted with this book. I read the entire thing with a highlighter and took away so many great parenting tips that I know I'll need to keep this book on hand for a good number of years going forward!

Monke begins her book by establishing her credibility as a parenting expert. She has 4-5 kids herself but her real qualifiction comes in the form of having owned a summer camp since she was right out of college. First, I can't imagine trying to own and run anything at that age...but I certainly wouldn't have had the wherewithal to take on the business aspect of a summer camp at 22 (let alone responsibility for hundreds of other people's children!) Her story is incredibly interesting and really establishes her as someone with incredible foresight and an amazing head on her shoulders!

As I said, I read this book with a highlighter...I got about 1/8 of the way through it and realized that I was going to want to keep track of a number of pieces of parenting advice that Monke was providing. Her book is broken into 9 primary chapters...9 seperate areas of advice that she recommends we focus on with our children. Each area feels distinct and important...she covers such topics as fostering independence and building grit. She also breaks each chapter down into the following sections:

One Simple Thing - Identifies a small tweak that, as a parent, I can make to my own behavior.
The Sticky Note Solution - One or two simple things I can do with a sticky note to drive home the lesson of the chapter for my child
Make it Fun - Ways to bring fun into introducing the chapter topic to your family
Around the Campfire - Suggestions for daily family sharing
Family Meeting Topic - Ways to implement formal communication for the whole family on a given topic
Diving Deeper - Ideas for creating substantive shifts in family culture

I really appreciated the way the book was broken up because it gave me a number of different ways to approach Monke's suggestions. On some topics, I'm ready to make wholesale changes to the way my family handles certain things...one others, one simple thing is just about all I can handle. Either way, I feel like I have strategies for taking on the suggestions that I value right now. Give me a solution that is going to take weeks to implement and you might as well forget it, I'll never get back to it!

Monke's book is peppered with both solid advice and compelling stories. As a busy mom, it's much easier for me to internalize her advice if I'm given a concrete example of how it applies. She not only provides examples of how she learned the importance of each of the areas she promotes at camp, she gives us practical examples of how to apply them at home. Monke has the advantage of having known thousands of kids over her years as a camp owner but also being the mom in a relatively large family. She can give objective positive and negative growth examples from camp but also explain how she has applied those learnings (for better or worse) to her own children.

One of the things I really appreciated about Monke's writing style is that it is very personal. This is not a textbook. It's also not judgy or mom-shaming. Monke is very open about where, as a camp owner and as a mom, she has succeeded and failed. Even in situations where she's illustrating mistakes that she believes were made by parents of her campers, she takes the time to empathize with their decision making process and explain the rationale that might have led them to their thought process.

All in all, I walked away from reading Happy Campers with tons of food for thought and several pages of notes! I've already implemented one of Monke's ideas: as a family, we share our daily high point and low point every night before bed. It's been an easy way to learn more about what my son is experiencing day in and day out and to teach him that it's important to ask and learn about other's experiences as well! Happy Campers is applicable for parents of children of all ages (truly, I wish I had ready many of Monke's suggestions earlier) and I highly recommend it as an easy-to-read, highly digestible way to evaluate some important parenting topics!

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Happy Campers, Audrey Monke explored the topic of camping and how positive experiences with camping can greatly change our children’s lives. She shared how she is a mother of five and an owner of Gold Arrow Camp in California Sierra National Forest. She revealed how she saw countless children who benefited and was in turn became a happier child for having the tools and experiences of attending a summer camp. In 2014, she also did a survey with six other summer camps that confirmed 80% of them felt happier. She also shared how mental, emotional, and physical health issues is rising and making it more difficult for summer camps. The other big issue she is seeing is the use of social media and phone usage that summer camps are having to help kids break free from. Another big issue she sees is parents trying to be in control and are being to overparenting. Her goal with summer camp is to teach children life skills to take home and thrive when they aren’t at camp. She wants kids to learn how to be self-sufficient and to help with daily chores and to grow into becoming more responsive adults. In the book, she tackled 9 secrets of camp such as, “connection come first, catch them doing something right, positive practices produce optimistic kids, grit is grown outside the comfort zone”, and much more. In the book, she also looked at the impact of counselors and how they train them to be positive and how they can influence children for the better. She also shared how she has them do a one on one chat with each child daily and many days they ask for a word of the day to describe how their day was. In each chapter, she does a sticky note solution, make it fun, around the campfire, family meeting topic, and diving deeper.

One of my favorite chapters was the one about grit and living outside of our comfort zone. This chapter discussed the importance of helping children to step outside their comfort zone. She looked at three different zone areas such as, “blackout, growth, and comfort” where children live and engage in life. She explained 5 ways to grow grit to assist children into growing up and she also looked at 3 things parents can do to help their children to step out. She was very open in sharing that she has recognized that kids do better on trying new challenges when their parents aren’t watching them.
I would recommend this awesome book about how camping can change your children lives to anyone who is looking for something fun and different for their kids. I liked how she went into detail about sharing her experiences with camping. She included personal stories she heard about how some of the children’s lives changed. I immensely liked how she had a “make it fun” activity for every chapter such as watch a family video, 100 memories recap, and shared outdoor activities. I also liked how she included instructions on how to limit the phone usage for children and rules we can put in place. This book opened up my eyes about the power of camp and how it can be a great tool in helping children to discover new things and to gain responsibility and to take the lessons learned back home.




"I received this book free from the publisher, Faithwords for my honest review.”

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently had the privilege of reading "Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults," I can't express enough how invaluable this book is for any parent. It's a heartfelt guide that touches on essential aspects of parenting, and it resonated with me deeply.

The author, who draws from her experience as a camp director and a parent herself, shares nine fundamental summer camp secrets that are not only relevant to raising kids but also to becoming a more mindful and connected parent. What I love about this book is the emphasis on fostering independence, resilience, and a sense of responsibility in children while maintaining a strong connection between parents and their kids.

The anecdotes and real-life stories included in "Happy Campers" make the book relatable and engaging. The author's writing style is warm and encouraging, like conversing with a wise friend who understands the joys and challenges of parenthood. It's not just a book; it's a source of inspiration and a reminder of the importance of creating a loving and nurturing environment for our children.

The practical tips and advice provided throughout the book are enlightening and achievable, making it a highly accessible resource for parents of all backgrounds and experiences. It's not about perfection but about understanding the power of positive parenting and its lifelong impact on our children.

"Happy Campers" is a powerful reminder that parenting is a journey, and with the right insights, it can be an immensely rewarding. I wholeheartedly recommend this book to any parent looking to raise children who are not only happy but also well-prepared for a thriving and fulfilling future. It's a guide that I'll be revisiting time and time again as I continue on this beautiful journey of parenthood and grandparenthood.

[Cynthia Muchnick · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a mother of four, educator, and also a parenting author; this book really struck a cord with me. Reading Happy Campers made me want to go back to summer camp! It brought back so many amazing memories! And to be able to bring some of that camp magic into our homes and apply summer successes to family life, well that is a perfect recipe for parents to try to follow in order to gain many new essential skills and tools. Monke's reflections as both a veteran camp director, former camp counselor, and mother of 5 (!) fuse together into her book full of doable, fresh and, yes, even fun new parenting ideas. Monke brings readers the best insights and connections gleaned from years of observing childhood and teen relationships and counselor hiring and training to help parents better connect and bring out the best in their children, just as their kids have experienced during the transformative weeks and months away at summer camp. Sign me up!

[Cara Cragun · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book I'm gifting to all the new parents I know! It is as if the author synthesized all of the best parenting advice out there into one book. It is easy to read and re-read, especially in short bursts. Every time I pick it up, I learn something new and feel inspired to connect more deeply and more often with my kids. I wish I'd had this book earlier on in my parenting journey. But there are still so many great ideas for parenting teens. This book provides a parenting action plan that gets to the heart of what we want as parents: to raise thriving, confident, happy adults. I strongly recommend for parents and anyone working with kids.

[Maria Fossler · Rating 5 out of 5]

It had me at Happy Campers

I'm a kindergarten teacher here in Arizona and my theme is Happy Campers, so I was drawn to this book for the title. I keep a collection of parenting books in my classroom for my parents to check out. I LOVED reading Audrey's words, as they resonated so much with my own teaching philosophy and parenting. I'm planning on holding a book club for my parents using this book and her website. Definitely an enjoyable and easy read, and I highly recommend it for parents AND teachers!

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raise your kids under the Montessori method and this is essentially what Monke gets after -- let kids show you how capable they are, coach them through emotions, and gradually increase their independence. This is a slow but powerful process... Parenting for the long haul and no quick (re: punishment) techniques.

[Erica (The Literary Apothecary) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This easy to read book features chapters that can be read in any order. In fact, parents can concentrate on one camp secret at a time and adapt the “Bringing Camp Home” section to meet their needs.

Highly recommended for all parents and grandparents.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the parenting book I needed to read. Monke has a perfect way of blending important parenting advice with fun ways to implement the advice. This is the parenting book I will be recommending to everyone.

[Elizabeth Ray · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed it!!

[Jeannette Sharp · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a library book, but it was so practical I ordered a copy to highlight and have on hand for reference.

[Michael Plotkin · Rating 5 out of 5]

can definitely relate! Should be cool to be kind and make parenting more like summer camp!

[Jordan Swails]

Another book to encourage walking the path of intentional parenting. While it’s missing the greatest aspect of raising adults who thrive — surrendering to Jesus — it’s full of bite-sized info that’s easily implemented in most every home. Sparked several conversations between Jessey and I…one I’ll return to again and again over the years.