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How I Edited an Agricultural Paper
“How I Edited an Agricultural Paper Once” is one of the best-known short stories by Mark Twain (pen-name of Samuel Clemens, 1835-1910). First published in 1870, the tale is a satire of nineteenth century American press.
The ebook also contains a selection of Twain’s best aphorisms and a biographical note on the author.
The ebook also contains a selection of Twain’s best aphorisms and a biographical note on the author.
Unknown Binding
First published January 1, 1870
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About the author
Mark Twain
9,048 books18.8k followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known by the pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist and essayist. He was praised as the "greatest humorist the United States has produced," with William Faulkner calling him "the father of American literature." His novels include The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), with the latter often called the "Great American Novel." Twain also wrote A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (1889) and Pudd'nhead Wilson (1894), and co-wrote The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today (1873) with Charles Dudley Warner.
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known by the pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist and essayist. He was praised as the "greatest humorist the United States has produced," with William Faulkner calling him "the father of American literature." His novels include The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), with the latter often called the "Great American Novel." Twain also wrote A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (1889) and Pudd'nhead Wilson (1894), and co-wrote The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today (1873) with Charles Dudley Warner.
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
June 5, 2020
A humorous essay that felt politically charged by accusing the media of not knowing what they are talking about. How appropriately true!
December 1, 2020
Short and slyly funny, and accompanied by a passel of his Aphorisms--at least one was repeated, but I did find at least one that I had never heard before.
November 8, 2020
Ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mark Twain is just so awesome. Not only is this hilarious, but check out this daring quote :
"Who write the dramatic critiques for the second-rate papers? Why, a parcel of promoted shoemakers and apprentice apothecaries, who know just as much about good acting as I do about good farming and no more. Who review the books? People who never wrote one. Who do up the heavy leaders on finance? Parties who have had the largest opportunities for knowing nothing about it... I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands."
Amen, Mr. Twain.
Amen.
.
Mark Twain is just so awesome. Not only is this hilarious, but check out this daring quote :
"Who write the dramatic critiques for the second-rate papers? Why, a parcel of promoted shoemakers and apprentice apothecaries, who know just as much about good acting as I do about good farming and no more. Who review the books? People who never wrote one. Who do up the heavy leaders on finance? Parties who have had the largest opportunities for knowing nothing about it... I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands."
Amen, Mr. Twain.
Amen.
.
December 31, 2020
This was an absolutely hilarious short story that I really enjoyed getting to buddy read with a very dear friend! 💗
February 26, 2017
"Tell you, you cornstalk, you cabbage, you son of a cauliflower? It's the first time I ever heard such an unfeeling remark. I tell you I have been in the editorial business going on fourteen years, and it is the first time I ever heard of a man's having to know anything in order to edit a newspaper. You turnip! Who write the dramatic critiques for the second-rate papers? Why, a parcel of promoted shoemakers and apprentice apothecaries, who know just as much about good acting as I do about good farming and no more. Who review the books? People who never wrote one. Who do up the heavy leaders on finance? Parties who have had the largest opportunities for knowing nothing about it. Who criticise the Indian campaigns? Gentlemen who do not know a warwhoop from a wigwam, and who never have had to run a foot-race with a tomahawk, or pluck arrows out of the several members of their families to build the evening campfire with. Who write the temperance appeals, and clamor about the flowing bowl? Folks who will never draw another sober breath till they do it in the grave. Who edit the agricultural papers, you—yam? Men, as a general thing, who fail in the poetry line, yellow-colored novel line, sensation-drama line, city-editor line, and finally fall back on agriculture as a temporary reprieve from the poor-house. You try to tell me anything about the newspaper business! Sir, I have been through it from Alpha to Omaha, and I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands. Heaven knows if I had but been ignorant instead of cultivated, and impudent instead of diffident, I could have made a name for myself in this cold selfish world. I take my leave, sir..." ..
December 31, 2020
Probably my favorite of Mark Twain's short stories...it's HILARIOUS!!! 🤣 Thank you Emma, for reading this with me! 🤗
"Concerning the Pumpkin. -- This berry is a favorite with the natives of the interior of New England, who prefer it to the gooseberry for the making of fruit cake, and who likewise give it the preference over the raspberry for feeding cows, as being more filling and fully as satisfying. The pumpkin is the only esculent of the orange family that will thrive in the North, except the gourd and one or two varieties of the squash. But the custom of planting it in the front yard with the shrubbery is fast going out of vogue, for it is now generally conceded that the pumpkin, as a shade tree, is a failure."
"Concerning the Pumpkin. -- This berry is a favorite with the natives of the interior of New England, who prefer it to the gooseberry for the making of fruit cake, and who likewise give it the preference over the raspberry for feeding cows, as being more filling and fully as satisfying. The pumpkin is the only esculent of the orange family that will thrive in the North, except the gourd and one or two varieties of the squash. But the custom of planting it in the front yard with the shrubbery is fast going out of vogue, for it is now generally conceded that the pumpkin, as a shade tree, is a failure."
November 13, 2020
Amusing short story by Mark Twain, supposed to be one of his best but I had not heard of it before.
Also included assorted Aphorisms by the author.
Also included assorted Aphorisms by the author.
March 5, 2025
শিবরাম এটির অতুলনীয় বঙ্গীকরণ করেছিলেন। তবে ইংরেজিটাও, এমনকি মিডিয়ার অসার প্রকৃতির সাবটেক্সট বাদ দিয়েও, স্রেফ অদ্বিতীয়।
January 17, 2024
I love how relevant this is to today's society! People always go out of their way to criticize something they know nothing about, but, as this shows, it is quite normal, and completely crazy.
September 4, 2023
10/10. Peak humor
January 25, 2014
the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
funny and entertaining :)
how would like to shake your turnips from the tree?
funny and entertaining :)
how would like to shake your turnips from the tree?
July 23, 2016
It's a pleasure to read Mark Twain!
September 20, 2016
I've arranged my thoughts on this silly, silly story into a haiku:
"It's sad but it's true:
Quality isn't what sells.
It's about the splash."
"It's sad but it's true:
Quality isn't what sells.
It's about the splash."
January 1, 2017
Commentary on media of his day remarkably consistent with modern opinions. Some things never change.
January 16, 2017
Very funny!
January 28, 2019
Always fabulous to read Mark Twain. Incredible read. 4 stars.
December 19, 2025
In How I Edited an Agricultural Paper, Mark Twain transforms professional incompetence into an art form. What begins as a comic premise—a narrator wildly unqualified for his editorial role—quickly evolves into a study of institutional absurdity and misplaced authority.
The humour emerges not from chaos alone, but from the confident application of ignorance within rigid systems.
Twain’s narrator is earnest, articulate, and disastrously wrong. This combination fuels the story’s brilliance. The prose mimics the tone of instructional certainty while systematically dismantling its own credibility.
The result is a sustained irony that feels remarkably contemporary: expertise is simulated, jargon replaces understanding, and authority persists despite obvious failure.
Structurally, the piece functions as a parody of professional discourse. Twain skewers the idea that complexity equates to competence, exposing how specialised language can obscure rather than clarify.
The editorial voice becomes a mask—one that readers are invited to see through even as the narrator remains oblivious.
From a postmodern lens, the story anticipates critiques of bureaucratic systems and media culture. It questions who gets to speak, who gets believed, and how institutions reward confidence over accuracy.
The comedy is relentless but precise, built on escalating misunderstandings that reveal deeper structural flaws.
What elevates the story beyond farce is its control. Twain never loses command of tone; the humour remains disciplined, purposeful, and pointed.
Each misstep reinforces the central irony: that systems designed to distribute knowledge often amplify error when detached from lived experience.
How I Edited an Agricultural Paper is not merely a humorous anecdote—it is a commentary on professional legitimacy and epistemic arrogance.
Twain exposes the fragility of authority with wit that feels uncannily modern, reminding us that the loudest voice in the room is not always the wisest.
Most recommended.
The humour emerges not from chaos alone, but from the confident application of ignorance within rigid systems.
Twain’s narrator is earnest, articulate, and disastrously wrong. This combination fuels the story’s brilliance. The prose mimics the tone of instructional certainty while systematically dismantling its own credibility.
The result is a sustained irony that feels remarkably contemporary: expertise is simulated, jargon replaces understanding, and authority persists despite obvious failure.
Structurally, the piece functions as a parody of professional discourse. Twain skewers the idea that complexity equates to competence, exposing how specialised language can obscure rather than clarify.
The editorial voice becomes a mask—one that readers are invited to see through even as the narrator remains oblivious.
From a postmodern lens, the story anticipates critiques of bureaucratic systems and media culture. It questions who gets to speak, who gets believed, and how institutions reward confidence over accuracy.
The comedy is relentless but precise, built on escalating misunderstandings that reveal deeper structural flaws.
What elevates the story beyond farce is its control. Twain never loses command of tone; the humour remains disciplined, purposeful, and pointed.
Each misstep reinforces the central irony: that systems designed to distribute knowledge often amplify error when detached from lived experience.
How I Edited an Agricultural Paper is not merely a humorous anecdote—it is a commentary on professional legitimacy and epistemic arrogance.
Twain exposes the fragility of authority with wit that feels uncannily modern, reminding us that the loudest voice in the room is not always the wisest.
Most recommended.
April 13, 2021
An amusing story about editing an agricultural newspaper, with a shot across the bow at critics who know nothing about the subjects they critique. Incompetence and outrageousness sells; Twain was ahead of his time. Audible edition.
September 7, 2023
How I Edited An Agricultural Paper makes for a mildly fun and clever short satirical piece that spares no punches in ridiculing the way that magazines and fringe newspapers and the like all too often do not care about their credibility.
August 8, 2024
I tell you I have been in the editorial business going on fourteen years, and it is the first time I ever heard of a man's having to know anything in order to edit a newspaper.
Mark Twain's satirical look at the newspaper business. Done as only Twain could do it!
Mark Twain's satirical look at the newspaper business. Done as only Twain could do it!
January 2, 2021
Have to love Mark Twain's sarcasm! It was a really enjoyable quick read.
July 29, 2021
It explains a lot about the editorial positions of the news media today.
October 16, 2021
4 out of 5
November 13, 2022
RIP Mark Twain, you would have LOVED Clickhole.
January 17, 2024
I really liked it! Very short and sweet.
January 19, 2024
Şalgamların roketçiliğin doruklarına fırlatılması gerek.
January 23, 2024
He said what he said.
April 1, 2024
The title of a story can work as a separate style or genre. That is how many times this approach has been used in books, movies, TV shows, etc.
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews