Birth Without Fear: The Judgment-Free Guide to Taking Charge of Your Pregnancy, Birth, and Postpartum

by January Harshe

An inclusive, non-judgmental, and empowering guide to pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum life that puts mothers first, offering straightforward guidance on all the options and issues that matter most to them (and their partners) when preparing for a baby.

In Birth Without Fear , January Harshe--founder of the global online community Birth Without Fear--delivers an honest, positive, and passionate message of empowerment surrounding everything that involves having a baby. It's a guide that fills in the considerable cracks in the information available to women and families when they're preparing to welcome a child--covering care provider choices, medical freedom, birth options, breastfeeding, intimacy, postpartum depression, and much more.

Birth Without Fear shows moms, dads, partners, and families how to choose the best provider for them, how to trust in themselves and the birth process, and how to seek the necessary help after the baby has arrived. In addition, it will educate them about their rights--and how to use their voice to exercise them--as well as how to cope with the messy postpartum feelings many people aren't willing to talk about. Unlike other pregnancy books, Birth Without Fear will also help partners understand what mothers are going through, as well as discuss the challenges that they, too, will face--and how they can navigate them.

Shattering long-held myths and beliefs surrounding pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum experience, Birth Without Fear is an accessible, reassuring, and ultimately inspiring guide to taking charge of pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Health, Audiobook, Self Help, Family, Childrens

288 pages, Paperback

Published March 5, 2019

Reviews

[Amelia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. I think this is a great book for someone before they are pregnant, but it’s not the practical information I’m looking for. There is very little practical medical information and it’s mostly about self-care and trusting your body- which is great, but I need science and the whys and hows. Also my fear around birth is about both my baby and I surviving, not whether or not I’m in control. I don’t really understand this notion that this is the one medical experience you should have control of- you don’t have control if you need spinal surgery, why would you know better than the professionals that do it all day for a living? (Including midwives and doulas, not necessarily doctors) I understand it can be a traumatic experience and you should be an advocate for your health, but this book doesn’t really help with that imo.

[Joseph · Rating 1 out of 5]

Such a terribly misleading title. I grabbed this book in my quest to absorb as much information possible in order to help my wife throughout her pregnancy. I expected guidance from a fact based science/biological standpoint, but there was none of that here. It’s an over the top defensive bashing of the modern medical system from top to bottom.

The book reeks of the authors insecurity from speaking to friends and family to simple doctors office visits and through birth. The redundant use of, “...and if they don’t effing like it, then...” becomes extremely tiring. Chapter after chapter of fillers and casual dialog make this book drag on. At one point, she describes a doctors visit in her sixth pregnancy where the nurse asked to weigh her. The situation was extremely awkward and her response was simply, “if you don’t like it, I put two middle fingers up to that.” The author automatically assumed the nurse was weighing her for an eventual epidural and pressuring her for being overweight. Rejecting to be weighed doesn’t have to be that awkward and from my perspective, the statistics are extremely useful as referenced in other books like Emily Oster’s.

I did not recommend this to my wife. My suspicion based on reading various other pregnancy books is that if you create a birth plan and are capable of generally speaking up and making sure your decisions are honored, you’ll be fine. I can see circumstances where this is impossible, which is where the book does urge the husband to be there to help maintain the birth plan and support the mother. My guess is that doctors aren’t sneaking babies off to secretly give vitamin K shots and take footprints in order to withhold babies from mothers which is entirely what this book felt like.

Skip it.

[Elisabeth Brown · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s so hard to review this because January Harshe writes in a very down-to-earth, gentle, and uplifting way. She reassures that there are many “variations of normal” in the childbirth and postpartum experiences, and that’s OK. She advocates for trusting your body and your intuition and refusing to compare yourself with the “Instagram perfect” mothers.

However, her message was, in addition to being repetitive, incomplete. Yes, there are variations in normal experiences; yes, it’s important to accept where you are in life instead of loathing your postpartum body/stage of life/etc. But simply “loving yourself,” “holding space,” and “practicing self-care” just aren’t enough to actually deal with the challenges of life. Only by knowing and believing the truth about who you are and why you were created can you find real peace and joy in the midst of birth and postpartum and beyond, and Mrs. Harshe, though gracious and well-meaning, just doesn’t have the authority to tell me that I am valuable. Only the God who created us and loves us can truly teach us our worth and our insignificance.

[Katelynn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought the content was repetitive and mostly fluff.

[Stefanie Bevins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really and truly loved this book by January Harshe. I am currently in my 3rd trimester with my 1st child and there are so many unknowns, so many pieces of advice or you HAVE to do this. I love that in Birth Without Fear, January plants the seed of variations of normal. There is no one thing that is normal while pregnant, giving birth or postpartum. It is all variations of normal and that is okay. Making sure mama is healthy is a key point too because if you are not practicing self care, how can you care for your new baby? Thank you for a great read, and great tips. I love that you included a variety of birth plan templates also! Thank you!

[Jess Alexander · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ok not the book for me. This was more a self-help book for pregnant people than actually informational. I think she wrote "I love you" at least 15 times. All about self-care, variations on normal, doing your best without comparing to others, etc.

I think the bit about talking to your care-provider and communicating what you actually want during labor and delivery was helpful, in the sense that a good pep talk is helpful. I also liked the birth plan template for hospital births at the end, basically just copied it. The rest of it was new age "you do you boo" wishy washy nonsense that I mostly skimmed.

[Samantha · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m going to be honest. I only made it 80% of the way through this book. I had to quit. This book was so anxiety inducing that I couldn’t even completely finish it.

This book might be ok if you’re feeling unbelievably insecure about birth or your life or yourself. Maybe you like the preachy, granola tone. Maybe you DO live in a world where you constantly need to advocate for yourself. If not, don’t bother with this one.

Harshe’s advice ranges from oversimplified to downright dangerous. She makes it seem like every single moment of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum will be an uphill battle. She advocates for loving your postpartum body (oversimplified) and hiring a doula for a hospital birth to help you stand your ground against doctors when you’re too tired from laboring (dangerous.) She wants women to trust their bodies and themselves, but disregards the idea that woman may not be the most knowledgeable in any situation. Her level of self-reliance is dangerous and she doesn’t back it up with science. I know her intentions were good, but she made me dread birth and parenthood.

I’m just not keen on looking at the future as a never-ending stream up uphill battles.

[elle ☾ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Granted I skipped the first and second trimester portions due to that being past information for me now, but this book didn’t really teach me anything new. It’s a lot of self-love, self-care talk which isn’t what I’m looking for at the moment! I did like the different birth plans, but I did not love the overall tone of having tons of distrust in your healthcare providers. Even as a “crunchier” individual this left a taste in my mouth!

Maybe this would be a good book when you’re “in the trenches”, but right now I’m looking for solid, researched information.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a great book and I definitely recommend it to anyone who is thinking about getting pregnant or is currently pregnant. I am currently TTC and have been reading a lot of different books. I tend to gravitate towards a more natural approach to pregnancy and labor & delivery. However, as I have yet to experience either of these, some of the natural approach books can be a bit intimidating on certain aspects. But, I really didn't like some of the "traditional" pregnancy books because some of them skipped out on a lot of important information. The great things about Birth Without Fear is that is covers both perspectives in a completely non-judgemental way. You want to have a medication free birth with a doula and a midwife? Great! You want to have a scheduled c-section with your OB? Great! The author respects the fact that everyone has a different approach to pregnancy and birth. And although there are of course things that have been proven to be effective, there are many other choices that each woman needs to make for herself.
This book goes through pregnancy, labor & delivery and post-partum. The author includes some of her own experiences and touches on topics such as plus size pregnancy, that I really haven't read about in any other books. Birth Without Fear is a great book for anyone who is pregnant or thinking about getting pregnant. And if you enjoy the book, check out the community around the Birth Without Fear movement on Facebook and Instagram.
Thank you to the publisher for sending me an ARC of this book!

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of those books where, if you can read it with a grain of salt, there are a lot of great takeaways. The author is very focused on self-care, communication, support, and judgement-free birth experiences... All of which (I assume) are very important when it comes to labor, delivery, and postpartum. This book is called "Birth" Without Fear, but more than 1/3 of the book is all about postpartum care, mental health, self-care, and recovery, which I found incredibly encouraging. My only dislike is that the author is a bit over-the-top for my taste when it comes to "advocating for yourself" -- not that that's a bad thing, but she often puts medical professionals in a bad light for the sake of reinforcing the concept that YOU must be in charge. I certainly want to have a say in all of my medical experiences, but I think I'm a little more trusting of my doctors than she seems to be. All in all though, I liked this book and I'm glad I read it.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really compassionate, holistic look at pregnancy, birth and postpartum. This is the “all-in-one” book I didn’t know I was looking for! Not everything resonated for me in this moment, but it’s one I’m sure I’ll be revisiting as we go through the postpartum process.

[Hayley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really changed my perspective on how to process my first birth and how to advocate for myself for my second birth and how to do that with kindness to myself. I cannot recommend this book more to someone who needs to overcome any fear, doubt, or uncertainty about birth in general. The author makes space for a diversity of experiences and backgrounds, discusses the postpartum time, self care and self love. I had a good birth experience the second time around (despite it not going at all the way I’d hoped) after reading this book and attribute a lot of that to my shift in mindset that this book helped me gain toward empowerment and ownership of my experience.

[Austin Van · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book with lots of prospective. First time pregnant and thought it to be helpful.

[Cara · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have never written a review here on Goodreads but I felt compelled to on this one. I wanted this book to help overcome my fear with childbirth, as the name alludes to. Unfortunately, this book did not help and it actually kind of upset me to be honest.
As others have mentioned, this book does not contain practical medical information which I feel could help women, especially those that are first time moms. Although, I understand she is not a medical professional. I respect the fact that this author has traveled the country giving talks and is an experienced mom of six. However, I found her to be a “pregnancy Karen”. Refusing most medical interventions, and refusing to being weighed at the doctors office and hospital can be dangerous. Doctors use your weight information to make drug calculations so you get the right dose of medication. Encouraging this is just downright unsafe.
Asking nurses to see their hospital policy when you don’t like something also just promotes a hostile environment that no woman needs while in labor. The need to control every aspect of birth is just not realistic and I feel sets the woman up for disappointment. Especially if you take her advice for these long, elaborate birth plans. To one point, she talks about going with the flow- which I like. Then asking to see hospital policies and refusing any intervention because you think medical staff is lazy and want to take an easy route or harm you? That goes against her own advice of “going with the flow.”
I appreciated her mantras, and her judgment-free stance with breast feeding vs formula, and vaginal birth vs c-section. But aside from that, the title is misleading and this book was a waste of my time.

[McKinley · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I read this during my first pregnancy, I don’t think I would’ve enjoyed it. This book isn’t the book for you if you want to learn what happens during pregnancy, labor/birthing techniques, or anything like that. But my first pregnancy was traumatic where I was not treated well and was too scared and confused to advocate for myself. Currently pregnant with my second baby, trying for a VBAC, and this was the perfect book for me to read in my situation.

This book is more about gaining confidence in yourself and realizing you have so many choices and options during your pregnancy and labor. It’s about making space for things to go wrong, for making a plan to advocate for yourself, for realizing that this is YOUR birth and YOUR baby and you have more choices and options than you realize. That while you have no control over many things that will happen, there are more things that you have a say in than you realize. For me, it was the perfect book to read in my situation. I needed to hear that my body is capable of amazing things. I needed someone to talk about working through trauma of previous birth experiences and allowing myself grace to work through those emotions. I needed someone to tell me how I can advocate for myself. Especially when I’m in full on labor. So if that’s your situation too, than this is the book for you!

[Alyssa W · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really liked the tone and supportive feel of this book - but it just seemed like a lot of affirmation, a lot of repetition, and not a lot of support for partners. Despite having a "Partner" section of every chapter, they all seemed to boil down to "You're not pregnant, pregnant person deserves your unconditional support." I don't believe that's healthy at all. There are also several references to her website for more information... then, upon going to the website, I got lost and couldn't find the referenced info. What I did find was an unhealthy echo chamber encouraging women to go against their doctor's orders and give CBD oil to their babies. Very cringey. While the book doesn't have very radical statments, the website and community certainly seems to, and that really turned me off. I hope that no women are convinced to make unsafe choices by this book. My only advice is to read critically, and between the lines of many of the statements made. I got a bad vibe, and that really hurt my learning experience from this book.

[ElphaReads · Rating 3 out of 5]

What I liked most about this book was that it definitely emphasizes the 'do not beat yourself up over your personal choices' aspect of all things related to pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. Harshe is VERY clear in trying to be supportive and empathetic, and clearly wants her readers to be able to feel comfortable enough with their own needs that they can advocate for themselves, make the decisions that are right for themselves, and in turn have a healthy experience that benefits both them and their baby. While I was hoping for a little more straight forward advice and information beyond the reassurance, as someone who is still trying to figure out some aspects of postpartum life (the great food debate is ever present in my mind and so are my past struggles with mental illness) I really liked the reassurances it gave in that regard. Definitely the most helpful re: postpartum choices and birth choices as well.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's okay to say, "I wanted this, but it's hard."

This is not a guide to pregnancy. It's not a week by week summary of what to expect. It's not a discussion of the risks and benefits of various interventions (although there is some information regarding different tests). It's more of a rallying cry for women to give themselves a break, accept that they're doing their best, and enjoy the messiness of whatever stage they're in.

At times it slightly grated on my nerves because I know it's okay if I ultimately feed my child Frosted Flakes or don't feel "normal" immediately following birth, but I could use a little extra help avoiding the Frosted Flakes and time to rest after the baby arrives. It felt like mainstream medicine telling women it's normal to have wildly irregular cycles. It isn't, and we should be educating them so they can help themselves and helping them when they can't. However, that's my personality. I'm a problem-solver. And sometimes even problem-solvers need someone to come alongside them and tell them the problems are normal and it's okay. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

I came away from Birth Without Fear feeling affirmed in my choices and a little less apprehensive about what's to come, so I'd easily recommend this to other expecting mamas. There's also a "partner's point of view" section at the end of each chapter that could be pretty helpful for bewildered partners!

[Meagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

If there is any book I recommend reading while pregnant it’s this one. I cannot stress that enough. She gets it. The book is very much written as though you are having coffee with her. She shares her experiences and gives great resources for help when you need it! I especially loved the parts at the end of each chapter written by her husband from his perspective. Great read to help you enjoy the good times and make it through the bad.

Updated after reading other reviews: Please note that if you are looking for a book that is strictly medical information on childbirth or about birthing methods, this may not be for you. This book is more about what you will go through mentally, physically, and emotionally as a mom and realizing that your feelings are normal, valid, and completely okay.

[KayLee Parson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt a lot of this was repetitive. It’s mostly about self help and self love. If that’s what is causing your fear surrounding birth then you’ll get more out of this than I did. Otherwise you may want to find a book that is more informative on the labor, birth, and postpartum journeys.
I did like the partner perspectives that the authors husband wrote for other partners on how to be supportive and understanding. The chapters are broken up into the different phases of pregnancy and post pregnancy, which would make this a good book to keep around and read here and there as you hit each phase....but reading it cover to cover towards the end of my pregnancy wasn’t all that magical.

[Bryony Crain · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a birth trauma survivor and perinatal mental health specialist, I loved this book. I can’t say how I would have felt about this book if I’d read it before having my baby. I was definitely in the category of people who preferred to keep their head in the sand and hope for the best. But I wholeheartedly agree with a lot of her advice about creating a solid birth and postpartum team, and advocating strongly for yourself. I will definitely be recommending this book to my clients who want to be informed and prepared prior to birth and the postpartum period.

[Rebekah Streeter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Appreciated the info and direct while relaxed tone of the book. Author gives a perspective on the options for childbirth that reminds women that their decisions affect their bodies and their children, and that they can have a say in protocols and preferences. Birth isn’t a medical procedure or condition; it’s part of life that deserves honor and respect for the woman involved. Each birth is unique and deserves treatment as such!

I’d recommend this book in addition to “what to expect” (read: more medically oriented) books for a balanced understanding of habits and health options from pregnancy to postpartum.

[Amelia Thorn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first baby/pregnancy book that I have read, and I am so glad I did. It made me think about so many questions that I had never asked myself about birth and being a mother. I will likely want to read this again before I make the decision to get pregnant to remember that my body is my own, my plan is important, and I can speak my truth in every situation to anyone around me.

[Delanie Saylor · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was a struggle to get through. There is no actual advice or medical information in here. I can appreciate the author's sentiments and positive attitude, but this was just the most repetitive and buzzword filled book that has no business being as long as it is.
"self-care" "hold space" "protect your bubble" "your feelings are valid"

[Hannah Henson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. I wish I’d read it the first time around, but I think it’ll really help this time too. The templates for birth plans are definitely going to be helpful. I’m going to have a plan, and then have two back up plans- I’d much rather be over prepared than under prepared! I really enjoyed January’s judgment free attitude- she felt supportive no matter what she was addressing; there was no right or wrong way to grow, deliver, or feed your baby. Each chapter ended with her husband’s point of view, and I think it was nice to bring a supportive man’s perspective into play. Highly recommend.

[Gillian Crunk · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’ve ever read a book about self love and care, then a lot of this information is nothing new. Still, I appreciated the gentleness and compassion January put until this. It felt like a conversation with a warm, knowledgeable, and supportive friend.

[Holly H]

I had to read this as part of my curriculum to become a childbirth educator and while I thought it was interesting, I also thought it was lacking in the nitty gritty details of *how* birth without fear. Also, the term “a variation of normal” was way overused.

[Becca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heading into the third trimester and starting to prepare for Baby’s birth.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not worth reading.

[Audrey Hartwell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh, still scared tbh