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The Stone Frigate: The Royal Military College's First Female Cadet Speaks Out
Winner of the 2020 Ontario Historical Society Alison Prentice Award • Finalist for the 2020 Kobo Emerging Writer Prize in Nonfiction
A memoir from the first female cadet admitted to the Royal Military College of Canada.
Kate Armstrong was an ordinary young woman eager to leave an abusive childhood behind her when she became the first female cadet admitted to the Royal Military College of Canada. As she struggled for survival in the ultimate boys’ club, she called on her fierce and humourous spirit to push back against the whims of a domineering and patriarchal organization. Later in life, feeling unfulfilled in her post-military career, she realized that finding her true path forward meant she had to go back to the beginning and revisit the truth of what she had experienced all those years ago.
“Incredibly engaging and moving. Armstrong deftly handles the tough and challenging moments (and there are many) as well as humorous ones. Great read from beginning-to-end.” — Timothy Caulfield, author of The Cure for Everything
A memoir from the first female cadet admitted to the Royal Military College of Canada.
Kate Armstrong was an ordinary young woman eager to leave an abusive childhood behind her when she became the first female cadet admitted to the Royal Military College of Canada. As she struggled for survival in the ultimate boys’ club, she called on her fierce and humourous spirit to push back against the whims of a domineering and patriarchal organization. Later in life, feeling unfulfilled in her post-military career, she realized that finding her true path forward meant she had to go back to the beginning and revisit the truth of what she had experienced all those years ago.
“Incredibly engaging and moving. Armstrong deftly handles the tough and challenging moments (and there are many) as well as humorous ones. Great read from beginning-to-end.” — Timothy Caulfield, author of The Cure for Everything
304 pages, ebook
Published March 2, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
July 14, 2020
Over the years I have read a number of memoirs of women who were in the pioneer class at one of the military colleges. This memoir is about the first group of women to enter Canada’s Royal Military College.
The book is well written but is dependent on the author’s memory. I noted the book is a finalist for the Kobo Emerging Writers Prize in Nonfiction. All the books have the same theme about the anger of some men when women enter what they perceive as their exclusive domain. The author points out at the end of the book the attitude of many men has changed over the years, but the problem of rape in the military needs to be solved. I saw in the news that the first women graduated from the special combat commando school had obtained her Green Beret.
I read this as an audiobook downloaded from Audible. The book is seven hours and forty-six minutes. The author does a good job narrated her own book.
The book is well written but is dependent on the author’s memory. I noted the book is a finalist for the Kobo Emerging Writers Prize in Nonfiction. All the books have the same theme about the anger of some men when women enter what they perceive as their exclusive domain. The author points out at the end of the book the attitude of many men has changed over the years, but the problem of rape in the military needs to be solved. I saw in the news that the first women graduated from the special combat commando school had obtained her Green Beret.
I read this as an audiobook downloaded from Audible. The book is seven hours and forty-six minutes. The author does a good job narrated her own book.
September 8, 2019
As I wrote in my Amazon review, this is a very realistic account of life at RMC in the 80s. As I read the memoir, I felt I was reliving my experience there, in the third class of women. I expect the same would also be true for many male ex-cadets: it is exciting, compelling and alarming all at once.
This book is much more than just a jarring and, at times, affectionate account of life at The College. As many reviewers have pointed out, it is an examination of a mini-universe where women were largely unwelcome, where they are bullied with few constraints, and where the 'powers that were' proved absent, naive and/or complicit.
There are 'good guys' in the story, both literally and metaphorically -- as there are in real life. However, any minority or targeted group should not have to depend on sympathizers to survive. Kate and her cohort suffered due to a failure of leadership among the cadets and officers at RMC, whose duty it was to ensure a safe environment -- as Kate herself suffered in her family from the same failure by her parents.
An overarching message of this brave account is that survivors of abuse and bullying in the home can become both the targets of bullies and abuse, AND abusers and bullies themselves. How many of the worst offenders among those male cadets abusing their positions had, in fact, lived through abuse while growing up?
Kate encourages us to look at the disturbing reality of abuse and neglect in the home, an essential step to making changes to our institutions, our social services and our daily relationships, especially with marginal groups. As harrowing as it was to be at RMC at that time, I cannot imagine the challenges of living, for example, as an Indigenous Canadian in many of our communities, or of having lived as a child at a Residential School. Are we teaching compassion and respect to our children -- our future leaders?
This book is much more than just a jarring and, at times, affectionate account of life at The College. As many reviewers have pointed out, it is an examination of a mini-universe where women were largely unwelcome, where they are bullied with few constraints, and where the 'powers that were' proved absent, naive and/or complicit.
There are 'good guys' in the story, both literally and metaphorically -- as there are in real life. However, any minority or targeted group should not have to depend on sympathizers to survive. Kate and her cohort suffered due to a failure of leadership among the cadets and officers at RMC, whose duty it was to ensure a safe environment -- as Kate herself suffered in her family from the same failure by her parents.
An overarching message of this brave account is that survivors of abuse and bullying in the home can become both the targets of bullies and abuse, AND abusers and bullies themselves. How many of the worst offenders among those male cadets abusing their positions had, in fact, lived through abuse while growing up?
Kate encourages us to look at the disturbing reality of abuse and neglect in the home, an essential step to making changes to our institutions, our social services and our daily relationships, especially with marginal groups. As harrowing as it was to be at RMC at that time, I cannot imagine the challenges of living, for example, as an Indigenous Canadian in many of our communities, or of having lived as a child at a Residential School. Are we teaching compassion and respect to our children -- our future leaders?
June 26, 2019
I enjoyed this book. It provides a window on life as a cadet at RMC, for both males and females. It also describes a misogynistic culture which was not unique to RMC at the time. I spent time a year in a dormitory at Queen's University in the seventies and saw some of this same culture. However, it does seem more disturbing in a "chain-of-command" environment where the female (and male) victims of misconduct simply can't walk away. In recent years we have heard more of this bad behaviour within the Canadian forces and also the RCMP. Hopefully, with more vocal expressions of what has gone on, we can improve as a society. Kate Armstrong's book adds to these expressions. I would say, the part that made me tear up was the author's unresolved relationship with her mother and the sexual abuse she experienced as a child. This, too, is unfortunately not a unique experience. It is brave of the author to write about this.
June 8, 2019
An interesting book that was a little personal as I was a fourth year when Cadet Armstrong was a first year. Some interesting items I was not aware of such as "the bet" but in general consistent with my observations of rook life. I have to agree that RMC at the time was mysoginistic and hope that has changed over time. Hopefully this book will help.
May 29, 2021
Very few books resonate with me at a deeply personal level. This memoir is one of those books. I wasn't there, at that exact time and place, but I know or once knew people who were. Although all memoir is tinged with the inconstancy and inaccuracy of human memory, this book reflects well and truly what I also remember about that environment at that time.
In the fall of 1980, Kate Armstrong was one of 32 women who entered Canada's Royal Military College (RMC) in Kingston, Ontario, for the first time. RMC had been an all-male institution for over a century. I entered the Quebec version of RMC, known as CMR (Collège militaire royal), in the fall of 1981, with the second class to contain women. Armstrong would graduate from RMC's four-year program in 1984. I and my classmates, because of an extra Preparatory year in Quebec, graduated in 1986. I and many of my classmates transferred to RMC in 1984, a few months after Armstrong graduated, to finish our degrees.
RMC and CMR are (and Royal Roads Military College in British Columbia was, until it was closed in 1995) Canada's military universities, charged with educating and training officers for the Canadian Armed Forces. In the 1980s, new recruits arrived in mid-August each year, a few weeks before classes began, to undergo basic military training. It wasn't quite as intense as the basic training you typically see in military movies, but it was close.
This "recruit term" continued into the academic term proper and ended in October with the obstacle course, a rite of passage that initiated the recruits into the student body, known as the Cadet Wing. Armstrong's detailed recounting of recruit term occupies nearly half the book. Recruit term and the obstacle course were brutal, exhausting, and very nearly dehumanizing. For me, they were also among the most rewarding and astonishing achievements of my life, and, as Armstrong writes of her recruit companions, "neither time, nor distance, nor lack of connection can sever the bonds we formed with each other."
Recruit term was conducted by the Fourth Year Officer Cadets, an all-male class that was, to put it mildly, not welcoming of female recruits. As Armstrong tells it, and as I saw it at CMR a year later, they drove the women hard, harder than they drove the male recruits. It was clear that at least some of the Fourth Years hoped to drive the women from RMC and thereby demonstrate that women were not fit to be officers. Armstrong and her female peers refused to be driven out, although they were often confused by their treatment, resentful, despairing, or traumatized. The lady cadets were insulted and abused, particularly by the class of 1983, who quite proudly referred to themselves as the LCWB (last class with balls).
Once recruit term was over, Armstrong's major challenges were passing her courses and navigating the infuriatingly archaic and inconsistently-applied dating policies of the College. The rules were supposed to be applied to all, but the men were given more latitude than the women, or at least were considered less blameworthy when the rules were broken. It was particularly galling that the classes ahead of Armstrong, the ones that didn't want women at RMC, were at the same time quite eager to break the dating rules.
Despite the blatant unfairness, Armstrong (and most of her female peers) persisted. She was stressed and filled with self-doubt, but a strong personality carried her through, even though it also got her in trouble sometimes. Interspersed with these episodes, she reveals that her home life before RMC was also traumatic. This undoubtedly contributed to her character and her reactions to the fraught sexual politics of RMC.
Armstrong's writing is clear and direct. She tells her story as if it were a novel, with scenes and dialogue that she admits is at least partly recreated from memory. All names are changed, except for acknowledgement of her fellow recruits by name at the end of the book. There is no way to link those names with the aliases used throughout the narrative. Those of us who were there, or who care to look them up, can remember or find, however, the names of some of the officers portrayed here. It is disappointing that some of them were not as enlightened as they portrayed themselves in public.
My one complaint with Armstrong's writing is that she refers to people sometimes by their first names, and sometimes by their last names, occasionally within the same paragraph. I lost track of who was who once in a while.
In the end, it seems that writing this book, more than 30 years after she graduated, has been therapeutic for Armstrong. It has allowed her to see that she wasn't the problem. RMC was the problem. As an RMC graduate myself, it is disheartening to see that RMC is still grappling with these issues in the 21st century, although it is far from being the only post-secondary institution dealing with sexual harassment, assault, and violence.
Armstrong's fearless book has also allowed me and, I hope, my male peers to learn and feel what it was really like for our female classmates. I knew at the time it was unfair and discriminatory, but there was a deeper level of misogyny at work than I realized. And for that, even though I doubt there's anything I could have done about it, I'm sorry.
In the fall of 1980, Kate Armstrong was one of 32 women who entered Canada's Royal Military College (RMC) in Kingston, Ontario, for the first time. RMC had been an all-male institution for over a century. I entered the Quebec version of RMC, known as CMR (Collège militaire royal), in the fall of 1981, with the second class to contain women. Armstrong would graduate from RMC's four-year program in 1984. I and my classmates, because of an extra Preparatory year in Quebec, graduated in 1986. I and many of my classmates transferred to RMC in 1984, a few months after Armstrong graduated, to finish our degrees.
RMC and CMR are (and Royal Roads Military College in British Columbia was, until it was closed in 1995) Canada's military universities, charged with educating and training officers for the Canadian Armed Forces. In the 1980s, new recruits arrived in mid-August each year, a few weeks before classes began, to undergo basic military training. It wasn't quite as intense as the basic training you typically see in military movies, but it was close.
This "recruit term" continued into the academic term proper and ended in October with the obstacle course, a rite of passage that initiated the recruits into the student body, known as the Cadet Wing. Armstrong's detailed recounting of recruit term occupies nearly half the book. Recruit term and the obstacle course were brutal, exhausting, and very nearly dehumanizing. For me, they were also among the most rewarding and astonishing achievements of my life, and, as Armstrong writes of her recruit companions, "neither time, nor distance, nor lack of connection can sever the bonds we formed with each other."
Recruit term was conducted by the Fourth Year Officer Cadets, an all-male class that was, to put it mildly, not welcoming of female recruits. As Armstrong tells it, and as I saw it at CMR a year later, they drove the women hard, harder than they drove the male recruits. It was clear that at least some of the Fourth Years hoped to drive the women from RMC and thereby demonstrate that women were not fit to be officers. Armstrong and her female peers refused to be driven out, although they were often confused by their treatment, resentful, despairing, or traumatized. The lady cadets were insulted and abused, particularly by the class of 1983, who quite proudly referred to themselves as the LCWB (last class with balls).
Once recruit term was over, Armstrong's major challenges were passing her courses and navigating the infuriatingly archaic and inconsistently-applied dating policies of the College. The rules were supposed to be applied to all, but the men were given more latitude than the women, or at least were considered less blameworthy when the rules were broken. It was particularly galling that the classes ahead of Armstrong, the ones that didn't want women at RMC, were at the same time quite eager to break the dating rules.
Despite the blatant unfairness, Armstrong (and most of her female peers) persisted. She was stressed and filled with self-doubt, but a strong personality carried her through, even though it also got her in trouble sometimes. Interspersed with these episodes, she reveals that her home life before RMC was also traumatic. This undoubtedly contributed to her character and her reactions to the fraught sexual politics of RMC.
Armstrong's writing is clear and direct. She tells her story as if it were a novel, with scenes and dialogue that she admits is at least partly recreated from memory. All names are changed, except for acknowledgement of her fellow recruits by name at the end of the book. There is no way to link those names with the aliases used throughout the narrative. Those of us who were there, or who care to look them up, can remember or find, however, the names of some of the officers portrayed here. It is disappointing that some of them were not as enlightened as they portrayed themselves in public.
My one complaint with Armstrong's writing is that she refers to people sometimes by their first names, and sometimes by their last names, occasionally within the same paragraph. I lost track of who was who once in a while.
In the end, it seems that writing this book, more than 30 years after she graduated, has been therapeutic for Armstrong. It has allowed her to see that she wasn't the problem. RMC was the problem. As an RMC graduate myself, it is disheartening to see that RMC is still grappling with these issues in the 21st century, although it is far from being the only post-secondary institution dealing with sexual harassment, assault, and violence.
Armstrong's fearless book has also allowed me and, I hope, my male peers to learn and feel what it was really like for our female classmates. I knew at the time it was unfair and discriminatory, but there was a deeper level of misogyny at work than I realized. And for that, even though I doubt there's anything I could have done about it, I'm sorry.
June 4, 2020
4.5 Stars
"Finalist for the 2020 Kobo Emerging Writer Prize in Nonfiction" Congratulations!
This book covers the life of one of the first 32 trailblazing females to enter the bastion of the Royal Military College. I’m usually not into autobiography however, this was my exception. I enjoy books with strong female representation and Ms. Armstrong along with her group of 20 other young women, the first female graduating class, opening a path of opportunity and equality for other women. Kudos to Ms. Armstrong for writing this book. The book covers the hazing and the attitudes of fellow Officer Cadets and the Officers responsible to “integrate” the females. From the treatment of senior cadets who tried to fail the females or make it harder for them to succeed to the cultural mores of a military that did not offer the support that should have been provided.
Mid 1970, my father, was posted to CMR, as a PERI Staff (Physical Education and Recreation instructor). Being in my late teens, a ‘female service brat‘ I can somewhat relate to Ms. Armstrong’s story. Training young recruits on other military bases, my father was aware of the pervasive, negative attitude that most male military members had towards females who chose the Forces, for a career. It’s a male bastion of testosterone, and a view of females as “meat”. Because of that existing attitude, he counselled me against joining, so I didn’t, with some regrets.
35 years later, I am married to one of the Squadron Commanders at RMC and can see the changes that have occurred over time. Much improved, especially the peer attitudes of fellow cadets. There is still a biased view from some, especially those who perceive themselves as the ‘elite’. The Head Quarters and administration views have also improved. Not all perfect, there is still room for improvement and I suspect the females are still getting a harder time from some. I really got to admire the women in my husband’s squadron, The Stone Frigate AKA “The Boat”. They had strength of character and a desire to succeed. I still keep in touch with many of those cadets, “our kids”. Now pursuing careers in both the military and civilian fields. Now with kids of their own. I wonder how many will recommend RMC for an education? It’s a great University, classes are smaller and the professors are more willing to help their students.
"Finalist for the 2020 Kobo Emerging Writer Prize in Nonfiction" Congratulations!
This book covers the life of one of the first 32 trailblazing females to enter the bastion of the Royal Military College. I’m usually not into autobiography however, this was my exception. I enjoy books with strong female representation and Ms. Armstrong along with her group of 20 other young women, the first female graduating class, opening a path of opportunity and equality for other women. Kudos to Ms. Armstrong for writing this book. The book covers the hazing and the attitudes of fellow Officer Cadets and the Officers responsible to “integrate” the females. From the treatment of senior cadets who tried to fail the females or make it harder for them to succeed to the cultural mores of a military that did not offer the support that should have been provided.
Mid 1970, my father, was posted to CMR, as a PERI Staff (Physical Education and Recreation instructor). Being in my late teens, a ‘female service brat‘ I can somewhat relate to Ms. Armstrong’s story. Training young recruits on other military bases, my father was aware of the pervasive, negative attitude that most male military members had towards females who chose the Forces, for a career. It’s a male bastion of testosterone, and a view of females as “meat”. Because of that existing attitude, he counselled me against joining, so I didn’t, with some regrets.
35 years later, I am married to one of the Squadron Commanders at RMC and can see the changes that have occurred over time. Much improved, especially the peer attitudes of fellow cadets. There is still a biased view from some, especially those who perceive themselves as the ‘elite’. The Head Quarters and administration views have also improved. Not all perfect, there is still room for improvement and I suspect the females are still getting a harder time from some. I really got to admire the women in my husband’s squadron, The Stone Frigate AKA “The Boat”. They had strength of character and a desire to succeed. I still keep in touch with many of those cadets, “our kids”. Now pursuing careers in both the military and civilian fields. Now with kids of their own. I wonder how many will recommend RMC for an education? It’s a great University, classes are smaller and the professors are more willing to help their students.
May 6, 2020
This book resonated deeply with me. I expected it to be merely about a young woman’s journey: enduring a gruelling crucible to emerge triumphant, having transcended the myriad challenges of immersion in a misogynistic institution.
But Kate Armstrong’s memoir is much more than that. The author recounts in compelling detail the frightening isolation one feels as a child orphaned and excluded by her parents, struggling with their own private anguish, unable to love.
That the author was able to remain unbroken, to treat her bleak upbringing as a kind of motivational push to pass muster at RMC, is inspiring.
The book also took me back, way back, remembering the naïveté and preoccupations of youth—the rabble-rousing, the intense do-or-die romances, the relentless preoccupation with full acceptance by one’s peer group.
Finally, I think Ms Armstrong has something important to say to the #metoo generation: Don’t expect justice or fairness; don’t expect the powerful to yield privilege. But work that reality, and don’t yield your dream or objective, your place. It’s hard, yes, and at times, it will seem impossible. But it is necessary for life lived on our own terms.
Highly recommend.
But Kate Armstrong’s memoir is much more than that. The author recounts in compelling detail the frightening isolation one feels as a child orphaned and excluded by her parents, struggling with their own private anguish, unable to love.
That the author was able to remain unbroken, to treat her bleak upbringing as a kind of motivational push to pass muster at RMC, is inspiring.
The book also took me back, way back, remembering the naïveté and preoccupations of youth—the rabble-rousing, the intense do-or-die romances, the relentless preoccupation with full acceptance by one’s peer group.
Finally, I think Ms Armstrong has something important to say to the #metoo generation: Don’t expect justice or fairness; don’t expect the powerful to yield privilege. But work that reality, and don’t yield your dream or objective, your place. It’s hard, yes, and at times, it will seem impossible. But it is necessary for life lived on our own terms.
Highly recommend.
July 2, 2019
Yes that's the way it happens ...
April 15, 2022
Read this, read this, read this!!
Tw: rape, incest, abuse, harassment
The repeated question “Isn’t anyone going to help me?” is a painful question made more devastating by the repeated answer of “I’m afraid not.”
Kate Armstrong faced every single kind of adversity in the disgusting misogynistic halls of the RMC in the early 80s—and despite repeatedly telling her leaders she was being terrorized, nothing was done to help her. It was a male-dominated world in the absolute worst sense.
Most of the men (can you call sexist pigs that?) are despicable. It’s hard to imagine that there are actually good men left in this world because in Kate’s world, there didn’t seem to be any.
“We just want to be respected as equals. Women aren’t trying to take over, we just want our rightful chance to play alongside the guys.”
A quick scan of the RMC’s Wikipedia page will show just a brief bullet point mentioning that in 1979 women were then allowed to apply for the college program. That’s it. 43 years later and no one wants to tarnish the reputation of the program by mentioning the brutal conditions experienced by the original 32 women.
And it’s not like the verbal abuse, harassment and assault stopped once more women joined the RMC. Maybe it lessened. Maybe it continued to be well hidden. But it continues, nonetheless. It is shameful that even as recent as 2014, the excuse is that “men are just wired that way.”
Kate Armstrong didn’t write the book with a scolding or judgmental tone. She just wrote about her experiences and her feelings. An incredibly brave and mature approach that, given her experiences, I’m not sure was even needed. I guess I have enough judgment for the both of us.
Brava, Kate, for a brave telling of your life experiences.
Tw: rape, incest, abuse, harassment
The repeated question “Isn’t anyone going to help me?” is a painful question made more devastating by the repeated answer of “I’m afraid not.”
Kate Armstrong faced every single kind of adversity in the disgusting misogynistic halls of the RMC in the early 80s—and despite repeatedly telling her leaders she was being terrorized, nothing was done to help her. It was a male-dominated world in the absolute worst sense.
Most of the men (can you call sexist pigs that?) are despicable. It’s hard to imagine that there are actually good men left in this world because in Kate’s world, there didn’t seem to be any.
“We just want to be respected as equals. Women aren’t trying to take over, we just want our rightful chance to play alongside the guys.”
A quick scan of the RMC’s Wikipedia page will show just a brief bullet point mentioning that in 1979 women were then allowed to apply for the college program. That’s it. 43 years later and no one wants to tarnish the reputation of the program by mentioning the brutal conditions experienced by the original 32 women.
And it’s not like the verbal abuse, harassment and assault stopped once more women joined the RMC. Maybe it lessened. Maybe it continued to be well hidden. But it continues, nonetheless. It is shameful that even as recent as 2014, the excuse is that “men are just wired that way.”
Kate Armstrong didn’t write the book with a scolding or judgmental tone. She just wrote about her experiences and her feelings. An incredibly brave and mature approach that, given her experiences, I’m not sure was even needed. I guess I have enough judgment for the both of us.
Brava, Kate, for a brave telling of your life experiences.
August 3, 2019
I’ve just read Kate Armstrong’s wonderful memoire, The Stone Frigate. It is a story for the time, because though women like her paved the way for all the women who have joined the military in the subsequent years, current newscasts about women in the military and police organizations have continued to be a litany atrocious treatment by men. Little, it seems, has changed. In 1980 Kate became the first registered woman in the Royal Military College, and she and an amazingly intrepid band of women took their places among the young men who had hitherto seen the RMC as their exclusive domain.
Sadly, events transpire exactly as one would expect: these young women, most only 18, not only have to deal with the rigours and discipline of military training, and attending college far from their homes and any semblance of a life style they are used to, they also confront a daily barrage of unchecked bullying, misogyny, sexual harassment and a thousand little indignities designed to shake them loose, to get them to quit.
I’m an ex high school principal, and the thing that stands out for me is that it appears to be an outfit populated and run by children. I don’t mean that pejoratively, merely, that young people require some adult presence and guidance. That’s how we as a species usher our young into responsible adulthood. Reading Kate’s memoire, I found myself asking over and over: where are the grown ups? First year students are commanded and supervised by students little older than themselves. If your fourth year student in charge hates the idea of women in the military there is nothing to prevent the sort of behaviours these young women were subjected to by men all the way down the line. If not actively encouraged to harass, young men, with as yet unformed values, are tacitly allowed to exhibit their worst toxic instincts.
But this is not a depressing read. There are allies among the young men, Just like in ‘real life’, not ALL the young men are either hateful or spineless, and one reads about them with relief, (though it is a relief tinged with anxiety, because you can’t help feeling that at any moment anyone seen allying themselves with the women will themselves be harshly brought back in line. ) It takes enormous courage for people to step up anywhere in our society, but much more so in an insular, self-referential male dominated military situation in which obedience is the core value. The general sense is “I’ll support you, but I’m going to lie low”.
And the young women like Kate have a combination of clear-eyed gutsiness and a refusal to quit. At first completely blown back by what they encounter, they begin to use the experiences to become tougher and cannier. Kate herself learns to use the hierarchical structure to her advantage when possible. The women become tougher than the men by necessity; they are enduring a whole other level of ‘training’ than the men.
And what a shame they have to. Kate talks about struggling academically throughout her four years. I’m not surprised; most of her energies seemed devoted to survival. And what about those adults I was looking for? Those men and women in command of the whole outfit? That insight comes near the end of the book. I’ll just say this; when their own behaviour is compromised, they can wield no real authority to stop the rot all the way down the line.
The real uplift in this book is Kate herself. Who does not love a plucky, optimistic, courageous heroine who won’t be defeated? Kate comes into the story already having endured abuse at home, but her natural fight and tremendous optimism come through. It is written with unfussy clarity and complete unguarded honesty. She doesn’t inflate or amplify anything in her experience for dramatic effect. She tells it as it happened.
It is compulsively readable and it is ultimately a story about victory. It is a perfect illustration of the myriad reasons women are often so much stronger than men…but why oh why should they have to be?
Sadly, events transpire exactly as one would expect: these young women, most only 18, not only have to deal with the rigours and discipline of military training, and attending college far from their homes and any semblance of a life style they are used to, they also confront a daily barrage of unchecked bullying, misogyny, sexual harassment and a thousand little indignities designed to shake them loose, to get them to quit.
I’m an ex high school principal, and the thing that stands out for me is that it appears to be an outfit populated and run by children. I don’t mean that pejoratively, merely, that young people require some adult presence and guidance. That’s how we as a species usher our young into responsible adulthood. Reading Kate’s memoire, I found myself asking over and over: where are the grown ups? First year students are commanded and supervised by students little older than themselves. If your fourth year student in charge hates the idea of women in the military there is nothing to prevent the sort of behaviours these young women were subjected to by men all the way down the line. If not actively encouraged to harass, young men, with as yet unformed values, are tacitly allowed to exhibit their worst toxic instincts.
But this is not a depressing read. There are allies among the young men, Just like in ‘real life’, not ALL the young men are either hateful or spineless, and one reads about them with relief, (though it is a relief tinged with anxiety, because you can’t help feeling that at any moment anyone seen allying themselves with the women will themselves be harshly brought back in line. ) It takes enormous courage for people to step up anywhere in our society, but much more so in an insular, self-referential male dominated military situation in which obedience is the core value. The general sense is “I’ll support you, but I’m going to lie low”.
And the young women like Kate have a combination of clear-eyed gutsiness and a refusal to quit. At first completely blown back by what they encounter, they begin to use the experiences to become tougher and cannier. Kate herself learns to use the hierarchical structure to her advantage when possible. The women become tougher than the men by necessity; they are enduring a whole other level of ‘training’ than the men.
And what a shame they have to. Kate talks about struggling academically throughout her four years. I’m not surprised; most of her energies seemed devoted to survival. And what about those adults I was looking for? Those men and women in command of the whole outfit? That insight comes near the end of the book. I’ll just say this; when their own behaviour is compromised, they can wield no real authority to stop the rot all the way down the line.
The real uplift in this book is Kate herself. Who does not love a plucky, optimistic, courageous heroine who won’t be defeated? Kate comes into the story already having endured abuse at home, but her natural fight and tremendous optimism come through. It is written with unfussy clarity and complete unguarded honesty. She doesn’t inflate or amplify anything in her experience for dramatic effect. She tells it as it happened.
It is compulsively readable and it is ultimately a story about victory. It is a perfect illustration of the myriad reasons women are often so much stronger than men…but why oh why should they have to be?
June 24, 2019
I liked this book. Going into it knowing nothing about Cadets, I enjoyed learning about a day in the life of one of them - especially a female. It's well written, and paints a very detailed picture of a woman in a man's world - which is still relevant today.
October 9, 2019
I don’t think there’s a woman out there who can’t relate to Kate Armstrong’s story on some level whether they worked in a male dominated field or not. The truth is, sadly, things have changed since the early 1980s, but we still have a long way to go.
Having worked in male dominated fields, I was hooked from the very beginning of the Stone Frigate. It’s an honest, no holds barred look at life for the first female recruits at RMC.
I applaud Ms. Armstrong for her courage in bringing this story, along with her own childhood trauma, to light and standing up for the rights of women.
Despite the difficult subject matter, Stone Frigate was a fascinating read sprinkled with humour and I found it difficult to put down.
I look forward to more from Kate Armstrong.
Having worked in male dominated fields, I was hooked from the very beginning of the Stone Frigate. It’s an honest, no holds barred look at life for the first female recruits at RMC.
I applaud Ms. Armstrong for her courage in bringing this story, along with her own childhood trauma, to light and standing up for the rights of women.
Despite the difficult subject matter, Stone Frigate was a fascinating read sprinkled with humour and I found it difficult to put down.
I look forward to more from Kate Armstrong.
May 14, 2019
The fight for women’s equality has been in many arenas. What Armstrong reflects on during her time in the first class of women admitted into RMC is appalling, and a reminder of how far back the boy’s club and toxic masculinity runs in Canada. And that these people are in key positions today.
There is nothing particularly special about her writing and prose. She keeps it as close to fact as memory allows (likely to keep people from accusing her of embellishing). It is an important story to have documented.
There is nothing particularly special about her writing and prose. She keeps it as close to fact as memory allows (likely to keep people from accusing her of embellishing). It is an important story to have documented.
January 14, 2022
whenever you read biographies it's easy to be like wow, i can never imagine living like that. but this book was different. as a current female OCdt at the Royal Military College this book hit very close to home. while reading this I could easily picture the Boat and Fort LaSalle and the rest of campus because i've lived there for the past few years.
reading someone's description of "Recruit" term was interesting because during my first semester i was in charge of terrorizing the class of 2025. but times sure have changed, we don't assign "circles" and they don't have to eat "square meals". but it still is an incredibly stressful and exhausting time period.
even now in 2022, there still aren't many girls at the college, maybe 5 girls for every 20 boys. and sometimes it's easy to still feel so alone and different. i personally have not experienced sexual harassment as a cadet, but i know many people who have. as a young black woman i can say that the CAF definitely has made progress, especially after reading "The Stone Frigate" and "Out Standing in the Field", but we have so far to go.
I want to thank Kate Armstrong and the cadre of the first female cadets, Sandra Perron and the first female infantry officers. thank you for blazing the trail, bushwhacking, and clearing the way for those after you. without you, i wouldn't be where i was today
reading someone's description of "Recruit" term was interesting because during my first semester i was in charge of terrorizing the class of 2025. but times sure have changed, we don't assign "circles" and they don't have to eat "square meals". but it still is an incredibly stressful and exhausting time period.
even now in 2022, there still aren't many girls at the college, maybe 5 girls for every 20 boys. and sometimes it's easy to still feel so alone and different. i personally have not experienced sexual harassment as a cadet, but i know many people who have. as a young black woman i can say that the CAF definitely has made progress, especially after reading "The Stone Frigate" and "Out Standing in the Field", but we have so far to go.
I want to thank Kate Armstrong and the cadre of the first female cadets, Sandra Perron and the first female infantry officers. thank you for blazing the trail, bushwhacking, and clearing the way for those after you. without you, i wouldn't be where i was today
September 20, 2019
On rare occasions, while walking through a bookstore, a book will scream at me from a shelf and say “you must read me, no really – you must, this will be important for you”. This is what happened when I walked past the book “The Stone Frigate”. This story seeped into every level of my soul. It both enraged and infuriated me and took me on a wild trip down memory lane. I met my first husband while he was a second-year cadet and so I experienced military college life from a wife and later on a mother’s perspective.
While preparing for her “Obstacle Course”, the culmination of boot camp and recruit term, Kate alludes to a rumour floating around about some years ago a cadet died while participating in this event. I was at RMC the day this tragedy occurred and it is seared into my memory, so much so, that when our daughter went to RMC, I was wild with fear when she participated in the obstacle course. Our daughter entered RMC many years after the author attended, and still, she faced many of the same issues. Misogyny is still rampant in our society and author Kate Armstrong tells a story of bare bones truth that needs to be read by both men and women if we are to continue to make progress with our attitudes.
While preparing for her “Obstacle Course”, the culmination of boot camp and recruit term, Kate alludes to a rumour floating around about some years ago a cadet died while participating in this event. I was at RMC the day this tragedy occurred and it is seared into my memory, so much so, that when our daughter went to RMC, I was wild with fear when she participated in the obstacle course. Our daughter entered RMC many years after the author attended, and still, she faced many of the same issues. Misogyny is still rampant in our society and author Kate Armstrong tells a story of bare bones truth that needs to be read by both men and women if we are to continue to make progress with our attitudes.
November 10, 2020
Just before Kate Armstrong enrolled at Royal Military College, I studied at Queen’s University for 4 years, then spent a summer driving a tour train around Kingston, including past RMC. I applied to the college myself but, unlike Kate, got cold feet halfway through the process. So I was naturally intrigued to get an inside view of this unique world I thought I knew something about. Hah! This book was an incredible eye-opener for me, as it will likely be for you. The visceral, in-your-face way Kate describes the mind-numbing, body-punishing stresses and strains of college life literally got my heart pumping. She demonstrates a rare mastery of suspense and dialogue that I’ve rarely seen in a personal memoir. Some of her nail-biting conversations, so artfully yet realistically depicted, read like the best of high-drama fiction. As I biologist I particularly enjoyed how she brings to life the familiar comfort of nature when she needed it most - storms off Lake Ontario, gulls winging freely above the parade ground, winter’s first wisps of snow. Coursing through this gripping, well-crafted narrative, is the unbreakable spirit of a seemingly ordinary young woman who did something quite extraordinary, and was brave enough to share her important story with the world.
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April 8, 2021I absolutely loved this book! I think any woman or man looking to join the military or go to the college should give this book a read and realize it can only be a safe place for woman if everyone actively works towards it and that misogyny has no place in the forces. It actually would be a good book for anyone to read if they want to understand how women have had to fight for every step they taken in terms of equality.
Kate is so strong for what she went through and if you think this book is a "pick me" type of book where she only whines about her time in the military, you are sorely mistaken and are part of the problem.
It reads really easily and is sometimes easy to forget that it's based on real events but that's partly because how real it feels for being a young woman in university.
Kate is so strong for what she went through and if you think this book is a "pick me" type of book where she only whines about her time in the military, you are sorely mistaken and are part of the problem.
It reads really easily and is sometimes easy to forget that it's based on real events but that's partly because how real it feels for being a young woman in university.
June 7, 2024
It was a great read, easy to follow even with all the names. The scenes were dynamic and the inner monologue was interesting. It was simultaneously disheartening and inspiring of all the challenges that these women faced and also quite unsurprising the challenges that they endured. Having those stereotypes and warnings about women being in the military reaffirmed was a strange experience. It's amazing how Kate was the FIRST female cadet at RMC. It was shocking to her about the sexual abuse that she experienced with her brother and how it influenced her actions. I'm glad that she is living a successful career and wish her all the best.
December 14, 2025
A interesting account of the Canadian military from the perspective of the first woman admitted to the Royal Military College’s program. The physical demands of the program are significant, and along with the sexism & sexual harassment, are well described in this autobiography. The author also describes the abuse she suffered in her family of origin, and I hoped to know what happened to the abusers, and whether they ever faced consequences for their actions, but the book does not mention anything about this question.
December 2, 2020
As a more recent female graduate of RMC, I absolutely LOVED Kate's book. There was no way I could have ever even began to imagine the hardship of the women as they were the first women at the college. (and not welcomed) Thank you Kate for sharing your story and making RMC's history more accessible for all. A book I wish every cadet at the college would read. Sincerely moving! You laugh, you cry, this book has it all.
April 3, 2021
Well written and what Kate had to go through to keep her place in RMC was horrendous. Men had stressful experiences too, but women were really picked on as she was in the first class. Today's news headlines make it look like very little has progressed in all those years. It is nice to see that she has gone from Military to Corporate career to writer living in Nelson BC. Looks like mother, brother, military troubles are being managed now. Brave to write the easily accessible memoir.
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