O Poder do Perdão

by Robert D. Enright

“O Poder do Perdão” deve ser lido por todas as pessoas que já foram profundamente magoadas por outras e que nutrem sentimentos de raiva, ressentimento e depressão.

O autor, Robert Enright, cientista e académico norte-americano, estudou a fundo a arte de perdoar e os seus inesperados efeitos positivos. A par do alívio sentido por quem ousa e consegue perdoar, o autor contrapõe os efeitos da incapacidade de perdoar, enumerando os perigos para a saúde física, psicológica e relacional. Quando não se perdoa perde-se a sensibilidade. Vive-se num passado doloroso ou na ânsia da vingança. Mas o poder do perdão pode transformar o sofrimento em esperança.

Neste livro de auto-ajuda está presente mais de uma década e meia de investigação científica sobre o perdão, entretecida com histórias concretas e ilustrativas, ideias e práticas para experimentar o que é — e como é — perdoar.
O tema toca-nos a todos, talvez porque se trata de algo que, num momento ou noutro, já esteve ou há-de vir a estar aninhado na consciência de cada ser humano – como embrião sem futuro, ou como clara e incontornável solução.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Health, Mental Health, Faith, Spirituality

314 pages, Paperback

First published June 30, 2001

About the author

Robert D. Enright, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. He is the author of more than 80 publications and has been a leader in the scientific study of forgiveness and its effects since 1985. His work on the subject has appeared in Time, McCall’s, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, and the Los Angeles Times. He has appeared on ABC ’s 20/20 NBC ’s Nightly News and many other television and radio shows.

Reviews

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an excellent book for anyone who is still hurting from past or present hurts. The book has you do exercises such as putting yourself in the other person's shoes, etc. Most important, the book emphasizes that forgiving someone does not mean you forget or that it makes what they did okay. What it does do is free you from anger that can poison you and your relationships.

[Carrie]

Changed my life!!!

[Ellesa Sabasaje · Rating 5 out of 5]

We are at our human best when we give and forgive. But we live in a world in which it makes little sense to do either one. Only by coming to terms with the demons of the past can one truly heal and build a future.

The book shows the gist of forgiveness as this:

First, acknowledge that someone hurt you deeply. Sometimes that hurt can turn to anger and the anger can cause you to self-destruct beyond your control and push people away. Even when you hide your hurt and anger, they seep through other areas of your life and slowly erode your character until all that's left is a shell of your former self. Most of the exercises helped me explore feelings of guilt and shame as associated with anger.

Next, comes the courageous act of committing to forgive the person. What forgiveness is and what it is not. It's not a weapon to regain your personal power. It's a tool to gain back your peace.

Then, comes the actual act of forgiveness. Trying to see the one at fault in different ways without compromising the truth of what happened, without altering the fact that what they did was wrong. This can be very dangerous, in certain situations, as putting yourself in their shoes can backfire and cause you to see yourself as the one at fault. I've come to know that forgiving yourself is a lot harder than forgiving another. But the release and emotions that come from this step can be greatly beneficial to the one who forgives.

Even after a year, I'm still struggling. Struggling with the shame of acknowledging that I let someone I trust hurt me over and over again and taking care not to cross the thin line between that and being a constant victim. The journaling tips in this book have been most helpful and reading my entries in retrospect have given me the right perspective, allowing me to see things from a place of love instead of hatred.

[Ellen Lindgren · Rating 3 out of 5]

I heard Professor Enright speak in Madison. He is a humble, incredibly dedicated man. His message of forgiveness is timely and applicable to so many--individuals, couples, families, clans, religions, countries...it seems to work, to go through the process. Enright's life's work is to restore people to wholeness, one child or person at a time. It was amazing to read and hear about his work with abused women, children in Ireland, and incarcerated individuals.
It makes forgiveness a viable alternative to revenge, hatred, depression, and anger.

[Maxwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

A helpful and practical book (filled with journal prompts) for those of us trapped in ill feelings towards those who have wronged us (or even trapped in guilt for how we have wrongly treated others or ourselves).

[Tim Heck · Rating 5 out of 5]

A marvelous study in Forgiveness that can set even the most guilt-enslaved heart free.

[Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great suggestions and loved the journal entry which can be a long tedious process, but necessary to get the most out of this book.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Currently using this in my clinical practice for those who have a difficult time letting go of the past! It is a great read!

[Mindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent- allows reader to take his/her own pace, empathizes, and allows choice as the book progresses. Also banishes myths that forgiveness requires 2 parties and that forgiveness means forgetting or dismissing things that happened to a person. For professionals, anyone working with trauma victims or those with lingering grief or anger can benefit from having a look at this book.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm letting go of my past. I've learned that we all need to do this. Great tips!

[Randall Rhodes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is excellent for helping anyone forgive wounds, traumas, and tragedies that linger from the past. And you will probably find out you have more forgiving to do once you get started!

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like the concepts explained in this book and I did find it useful to some extent. However, the journal entries consist of way too many questions in my opinion and it's difficult to compare the answers you've given to the same questions throughout the book (e.g. the author doesn't mention the chapter or page where you encountered the question the first time, which makes things confusing). I get that it's meant to be a workbook, but the number of questions to reflect on sometimes is overwhelming. Also, even though forgiveness is briefly spoken about in spiritual terms, I think that the author could have included some "spiritual exercises" too (e.g. guided meditations, the practice of Ho'ponopono, etc.), which can sometimes be more effective than just reflecting & writing.

[Teresa Arauco · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciated this book! I've been searching for people who have been "successful" in forgiving; ted talks, other books.

This book offers a process to try on for size, to follow, and delineates what forgiveness is not and offers poignant case studies. It was helpful to hear, once you forgive X, that you may have to forgive again...but it will be a little bit easier and smoother. It's a lot of work, but worthwhile of your very best elbow grease.

I especially appreciated the invitation at the end...to start the book again.

I took a class with Bob Enright when I was in grad school, I am so amazed at his body of work and the legacy he will leave. Visit internationalforgiveness dot com

[Bilal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read, grateful for a clear process to learn forgiveness.

My restorative work in higher education came after years of prison ministry as a chaplain. The familiar feelings of bitterness and resentment were rife in academic institutions just as much as correctional institutions. This book provided me with a process of thinking about how to handle such divisive feelings and get others to join a restorative circle. This book is integral to my work in Campus Engagement among faculty, staff, and students.

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started this book during Lent after it was mentioned during a retreat. There's a lot of good material here. Since I listened to it in the audiobook format, I believe I will go back and use this as a workbook/journal to work through the process. I like this author's approach and find there is a lot to think about here.

[Teri Stich · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can't rate the as accurately as I should. I read most of it but did not do any of the exercises. Had a lot of good things to say about forgiveness and resentment. Hopefully I have taken some of it with me.

[Shimaa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I want to read it

[Kabten Hima · Rating 5 out of 5]

I need red it

[Karel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quite possibly life changing.

[Jennifer Utech · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent resource. Dispels the common myths around forgiveness and provides actionable steps towards forgiving those who have wounded us and in asking for forgiveness from those we have wounded.

[Sarah Heimbruch]

Required reading for a class. Great book

[Lance Klessig · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful

[Endah Taufik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bagus. Bener-bener menjelaskan sebenernya apa arti memaafkan. Apa yang perlu dilakukan ketika seseorang memutuskan untuk memaafkan orang lain. Perbedaan anger dan resentment.
Step by step untuk benar-benar memaafkan.

Sayangnya kurang banyak contoh. Dan seandainya aja, ditulis oleh seorang muslim (bukan maksud mendiskreditkan agama tertentu). Keinginan ini murni karena saya seorang muslim. Kalau dikaitkan dengan ayat-ayat Al Qur'an, hadits dan cerita-cerita dari zaman Rasulullah serta para khalifah, pasti keren banget.
Misal, waktu penulis ngasih contoh bentuk 'memaafkan yang sepenuhnya' adalah ketika seseorang sudah mampu bersikap baik pada 'offender'. Inget kan kisah Rasulullah yang meski sudah dihina dan dicaci maki oleh seorang pengemis buta, beliau tetap berbuat baik padanya dan justru kebaikan pada pengemis buta tersebut melebihi kebaikan orang-orang pada umumnya, yakni memberikan makanan setiap hari dan menyuapi pengemis itu. Menurutku, itu adalah salah satu contoh konkret, memaafkan yang sebenarnya.

[Rojeen Sharow · Rating 5 out of 5]

A marvelous study in Forgiveness✨

If forgiveness is a choice, which I believe to be true, it’s a powerful experience that it can heal you emotionally, and makes possible the reuniting of people torn apart by unfairness and hurt. If you choose it, you’re no longer the victim of the past experiences, and as you change how you think, feel and behave, your very sense of yourself will change for the better.

[Kirsten · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for a class at the University of Utah - I liked it, it has a lot of good information but I got tired of all the journaling. I do see that journaling is helpful way for you to see how you really feel about the situation you are trying to work through and finally find the peace that comes when you forgive.

[Brook · Rating 5 out of 5]

Takes the concept of forgiveness and uses research to demonstrate its value. Then provides a guide for how someone can think/journal through their anger to forgiveness. Spiritual links throughout the book. A must have for counselors.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Madonna gave this book a shout out on her blog! We think it has something to do with her and Elton making up.

[Becca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good read. A lot of empirical data to compliment the principles in book.. Recommend to anyone!

[Kbord]

Didn't finish. Returned to library.

[Bridgett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Useful, though I think it goes overboard on how far one needs to go in forgiveness.