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An Intentional Life: Five Foundations of Authenticity and Purpose
We hunger for a sense of purpose and the chance to create positive change in the world. Yet finding that purpose can be difficult in a culture which discourages meaningful engagement. Still, every one of us can meet the challenge and discover a radically different and rewarding way of living through the simple but transformative practice of intention. This book is an invaluable guide in uncovering and developing the most authentic version of you. Comfortably straddling Eastern contemplative traditions and Western psychology, Lisa Kentgen has helped hundreds of clients remove obstacles and make deep and lasting changes. Here she lays out a method to access and develop the powerful sources of insight and transformation that are within you.
An Intentional Life approaches the question of how to live most authentically in ways both pragmatic and deep. Filled with memorable accounts from Kentgen's work with clients and her own life, as well as with helpful exercises and reflections, it articulates a transformational path traveled by practicing intention in five foundational areas: awareness, reflecting, choosing, acting, and allowing. By developing specific practices in each of these core areas, you can direct them to become powerful tools for living.
An Intentional Life approaches the question of how to live most authentically in ways both pragmatic and deep. Filled with memorable accounts from Kentgen's work with clients and her own life, as well as with helpful exercises and reflections, it articulates a transformational path traveled by practicing intention in five foundational areas: awareness, reflecting, choosing, acting, and allowing. By developing specific practices in each of these core areas, you can direct them to become powerful tools for living.
210 pages, Paperback
First published June 15, 2018
6 people are currently reading
195 people want to read
About the author
Lisa Kentgen
4 books28 followersA psychologist with nearly three decades of clinical and teaching experience, Lisa Kentgen has taught intentional practices everywhere from the psychotherapy office to companies to the classroom. She has served on Faculty at Columbia University Teachers College. Lisa has published scientific articles on topics including the development of conscious awareness, the biological correlates of anxiety and depression, and identifying emotional difficulties in children. She believes passionately in the need for greater authenticity in the world today, and that transformation happens when one person at a time commits to living with intention. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
July 9, 2018
Practical & easy to use, this book is as much a textbook as it is a workbook. Straightforward intelligent explanations based on the author's professional training. Clear practical exercises. Note: the author sent me an e copy of this book for free. I wish her the best with it -- she deserves it.
June 7, 2018
This is quite a wonderful book, filled with the practical wisdom and deep kindness Dr. Kentgen has gleaned from her years as a practicing psychologist and student of Eastern philosophies. The combination makes for a heady mix of philosophy and practice that has the potential to bring freedom and intentionality to many lives.
The book is divided into five sections, each outlining one of the practices the author believes will lead to a greater engagement with "intention", the conscious awareness of those things that guide your life. The five practices are awareness, reflecting, choosing, acting, and allowing. As she points out, these are loosely based on Buddhist teachings, but no acceptance or knowledge of that system of belief is necessary to glean the benefits of this way of life. As Dr. Kentgen writes, "It is only by living with intention that you can experience yourself as authentic and your life as purposeful", and this idea is universal and not exclusive to Buddhism.
One of the most important aspects of this book is the emphasis it places on core values and the intentional choice to identify and live within them. An underlying theme here is that it is quite common to live one's life without awareness of which mood states, biases, assumptions, and outside influences are running things. This effort to identify and live within one's values seems to me essential to any life lived fully. "The moments that leave an indelible print are those that occur when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and take risks in the service of living in alignment with your core values".
Perhaps the most valuable portion of the book are the Intentional Practices, the "exercises and rituals that foster greater self-understanding, enabling you to deepen and broaden your knowledge of yourself and the world." Without this practical grounding, based as it is in many years of practice and teaching, the philosophies of the book would be mere feel-good navel-gazing, fascinating in their own right, but hardly transformative.
But herein lies my sole criticism of An Intentional Life. I have read dozens of self-help books over the years (and, like it or not, that is the category in which this belongs) and I wonder if what has become the standard structure of such books truly serves this subject well. The structure to which I am referring, and with which most will be familiar, is: a bit of information, a personal anecdote, an exercise, a conclusion. It seems to me that it would be too easy to take these easily digestible bites, give the exercises short shrift, and, in classic self-help fashion, move on to the next set of alluring ideas promising inner peace. I am not clever enough in evaluating the design of books to be able to suggest the perfect answer to this problem, but I do wonder if it wouldn't be worth trying to front-load much of the philosophical content so that the reader is won over to the underlying philosophy and then given the exercises to complete the transformation. There are also a great many exercises here; it could be a bit bewildering to wonder which to do when. Dr. Kentgen's recommendations are to try this for a month and that for three weeks and these other things for the rest of your life...I am not sure I could follow the prescriptions she outlines without wandering aimlessly about. (Full disclosure: this is a recent publication sent to me by Dr. Kentgen for a review; I did not give the exercises the time they deserve because I felt I needed to put in my response as soon as I could).
Still, the paragraph above is more a complement than a complaint, an acknowledgement that an extremely strong and vital book could perhaps have been even more useful than it already is. If you are in the market for making your life more awake, aware, fulfilling, kind, generous, and loving—in a word, intentional—please give this one a try. You won't be sorry.
The book is divided into five sections, each outlining one of the practices the author believes will lead to a greater engagement with "intention", the conscious awareness of those things that guide your life. The five practices are awareness, reflecting, choosing, acting, and allowing. As she points out, these are loosely based on Buddhist teachings, but no acceptance or knowledge of that system of belief is necessary to glean the benefits of this way of life. As Dr. Kentgen writes, "It is only by living with intention that you can experience yourself as authentic and your life as purposeful", and this idea is universal and not exclusive to Buddhism.
One of the most important aspects of this book is the emphasis it places on core values and the intentional choice to identify and live within them. An underlying theme here is that it is quite common to live one's life without awareness of which mood states, biases, assumptions, and outside influences are running things. This effort to identify and live within one's values seems to me essential to any life lived fully. "The moments that leave an indelible print are those that occur when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and take risks in the service of living in alignment with your core values".
Perhaps the most valuable portion of the book are the Intentional Practices, the "exercises and rituals that foster greater self-understanding, enabling you to deepen and broaden your knowledge of yourself and the world." Without this practical grounding, based as it is in many years of practice and teaching, the philosophies of the book would be mere feel-good navel-gazing, fascinating in their own right, but hardly transformative.
But herein lies my sole criticism of An Intentional Life. I have read dozens of self-help books over the years (and, like it or not, that is the category in which this belongs) and I wonder if what has become the standard structure of such books truly serves this subject well. The structure to which I am referring, and with which most will be familiar, is: a bit of information, a personal anecdote, an exercise, a conclusion. It seems to me that it would be too easy to take these easily digestible bites, give the exercises short shrift, and, in classic self-help fashion, move on to the next set of alluring ideas promising inner peace. I am not clever enough in evaluating the design of books to be able to suggest the perfect answer to this problem, but I do wonder if it wouldn't be worth trying to front-load much of the philosophical content so that the reader is won over to the underlying philosophy and then given the exercises to complete the transformation. There are also a great many exercises here; it could be a bit bewildering to wonder which to do when. Dr. Kentgen's recommendations are to try this for a month and that for three weeks and these other things for the rest of your life...I am not sure I could follow the prescriptions she outlines without wandering aimlessly about. (Full disclosure: this is a recent publication sent to me by Dr. Kentgen for a review; I did not give the exercises the time they deserve because I felt I needed to put in my response as soon as I could).
Still, the paragraph above is more a complement than a complaint, an acknowledgement that an extremely strong and vital book could perhaps have been even more useful than it already is. If you are in the market for making your life more awake, aware, fulfilling, kind, generous, and loving—in a word, intentional—please give this one a try. You won't be sorry.
September 17, 2018
Five Star. Do yourself a favor and read this book.
Full review to come.
Full review to come.
June 25, 2018
This book is a very useful tool for people from all walks of life. Dr. Kentgen graciously gives to the reader ideas, practices, and methodologies she has gained from her years practicing. Most importantly, though, I believe she is able to remind us that we are not along in feeling lost, anxious, or confused.
There are five sections within the book, each outlining a different practice that Dr. Kentgen believes can help one in leading an intentional and purposeful life. Without revealing each detail, I will say the format is set up to be able to move through the sections as one would read a novel - front to back - or to be read as an individual piece. I first read front to back, but I went through a second time carefully picking practices in which I needed additional work. I found both methods to be beneficial to myself as a reader but also a student. Each lesson flows nicely and offers methods as well as examples of how to conduct each practice. I believe the format and style of each section is laid out for beginners but each portion still offers something for those who might be more advanced.
As for the material itself, it flows between feeling very personal, with anecdotes and stories, to feeling detached. I believe this could be due to some of the suggestions outlined in the practices as they are to take place over such a wide range of time. I found myself putting the book down to work on a practice and feel like I did not get any farther after the suggested time and coming back to the book with a forgetful mind. I will say though, going through a second time in areas where I needed more work removed this feeling. I personally think skipping around a bit kept the book far more personal for me and helped me grow as it was intended to do so.
There are five sections within the book, each outlining a different practice that Dr. Kentgen believes can help one in leading an intentional and purposeful life. Without revealing each detail, I will say the format is set up to be able to move through the sections as one would read a novel - front to back - or to be read as an individual piece. I first read front to back, but I went through a second time carefully picking practices in which I needed additional work. I found both methods to be beneficial to myself as a reader but also a student. Each lesson flows nicely and offers methods as well as examples of how to conduct each practice. I believe the format and style of each section is laid out for beginners but each portion still offers something for those who might be more advanced.
As for the material itself, it flows between feeling very personal, with anecdotes and stories, to feeling detached. I believe this could be due to some of the suggestions outlined in the practices as they are to take place over such a wide range of time. I found myself putting the book down to work on a practice and feel like I did not get any farther after the suggested time and coming back to the book with a forgetful mind. I will say though, going through a second time in areas where I needed more work removed this feeling. I personally think skipping around a bit kept the book far more personal for me and helped me grow as it was intended to do so.
March 24, 2019
"An Intentional Life" breaks down 5 key ways of thinking and being for greater intention, guided by authenticity. First, one must get through the muck to clarity to determine what is authentic, and then, set intentions that align with those values and intuitive sensibilities.
I enjoyed the wellbeing activities, encouraging this clarity bt writing down and making more tangible what one's values and goals are.
Takeaways:
- "When we are most present to our life as we are living it when we are most deeply happy, we are more aware of the finiteness of life and comfortable with it."
- "Meeting all experience with openness transforms the experience."
- "When exploring your mind ask direct questions."
- "Be directed and persistent in your actions. Then develop an engaged detachment allowing things to unfold."
- If you find you're in waiting, ask for clarification and move forward or onward.
I enjoyed the wellbeing activities, encouraging this clarity bt writing down and making more tangible what one's values and goals are.
Takeaways:
- "When we are most present to our life as we are living it when we are most deeply happy, we are more aware of the finiteness of life and comfortable with it."
- "Meeting all experience with openness transforms the experience."
- "When exploring your mind ask direct questions."
- "Be directed and persistent in your actions. Then develop an engaged detachment allowing things to unfold."
- If you find you're in waiting, ask for clarification and move forward or onward.
October 1, 2020
I can't stress enough how wonderful this book is for creating focus. Kentgen walks you though steps you can take to manage your mindset, attitude, and emotions. I love how the practical advice is followed up with real life examples of patients she has worked with, talking about their challenges, what they did to overcome those challenges, and the outcome.
The book also has several activities to start you down the right path in each section. I found them to be wonderful ways of isolating certain issues and shining a light on past behavior. It really helps you to shape your thinking differently.
The book is centered around five building blocks: awareness, reflecting, choosing, acting, and allowing. Each section is critical to our success, and when all are implemented together, it can be truly transformative.
From decision making to facing our fears, Kentgen finds ways to discuss roadblocks in a conversational way and helps you to reframe and overcome any difficulty.
I can't recommend this highly enough. I wish I could go back and give a copy of this to my younger self!
The book also has several activities to start you down the right path in each section. I found them to be wonderful ways of isolating certain issues and shining a light on past behavior. It really helps you to shape your thinking differently.
The book is centered around five building blocks: awareness, reflecting, choosing, acting, and allowing. Each section is critical to our success, and when all are implemented together, it can be truly transformative.
From decision making to facing our fears, Kentgen finds ways to discuss roadblocks in a conversational way and helps you to reframe and overcome any difficulty.
I can't recommend this highly enough. I wish I could go back and give a copy of this to my younger self!
January 6, 2022
What a better way to start a new year than with a self-help book?
Through theory, anecdotes of herself and from therapy clients, and self-reflection exercises that you can do by yourself, Lisa achieves to create a brief but valuable guide to living a more authentic life.
Authenticity can be summarized as:
• Being yourself, rather than other people´s conceptions of you.
• Pursuing your purpose, the things that give meaning to your life.
• Putting intention into what you do instead of doing it out of habit or routine.
• Getting comfortable with perceiving yourself in new ways, and accepting new possibilities.
I have heard lots of times that many people don´t like self-help books because they point out the problem you are trying to deal with, proceed to attack all other techniques to fix it, and then state very obvious tips which are equally unhelpful, or give overly complicated tips with don´t help either because it´s easier said than done, ie. Telling an anxious person to just stop overthinking.
This book is not like that.
The writer is a certified psychologist. That was the first thing I noticed, and she didn´t need to mention her credentials for me to notice that her tips are actually helpful. The anecdotes are summarized, to be taken as an example of how a client from her therapy sessions experienced a problem and applied the techniques she recommends in their daily lives. Even if you do not feel identified with all of them and their issues, you can relate in the way you apply those techniques.
The book is written in bites easy to digest. There´s no more than one chapter for each purpose, so it´s not monotonous and repetitive.
The five building blocks are:
1) Awareness: With increased awareness, you are an alert observer of your thoughts and feelings as they are happening, and of how you receive the outside world. In contrast, without awareness, everything passes through the gates of your attention willy-nilly and unnoticed. Helpful things from this section:
-Identifying your core values.
-Learning to align core values with daily actions.
-Notice what gives you well-being, and maintain it as an internal state rather than allowing external conditions to determine your mood and happiness.
-Distinguishing temporary desires from what makes you happy.
-Practicing stillness, mindfulness, and watching how you talk to yourself.
-Transforming constriction feelings into positive feelings.
2) Reflecting: the skill of asking yourself the most relevant, helpful questions, and then sincerely listening to your responses, to cultivate a deeper understanding of how to effectively shape your life. Helpful things from this section:
-Separating yourself from your thoughts “you are not your thoughts”.
-Becoming conscious of the quality of your thoughts.
-Dealing with overthinking.
-Asking yourself the right questions to deal with your feelings.
3) Choosing: you know what choosing means. Helpful things in this section:
-How to make room for greater possibility (ie. Don´t limit your options with narrow preconceptions).
-Cognitive biases that influence our choices.
-How to minimize the stress that comes with a difficult, big or multiple-options choice.
-How to deal with fear when choosing unknown paths.
4) Acting: knowing how and when to act to in order to build the kind of life you want to see. Helpful things in this section:
- Wise effort, ie. Saving your energy for activities that calm you or fit your values, rather than random outburst of motivation to keep doing something just to avoid being still.
-Non-striving action: avoid acting when necessary.
-Being proactive rather than reactive.
-Valuing effort over outcomes.
-Periods of stuck-ness.
5) Allowing: basically going with the flow of events and letting them happen organically.
-Becoming comfortable with being passive
-Being present.
THE SUMMARY AT THE END IS THE BEST!!! You basically do not need to take notes of all the practices you should implement in your life. She literally did a summary for each chapter AND each of the five blocks just for you to keep it with you. What a pleasant surprise.
I would definitely reread this as soon as it begins to drift from my memory. A pure gem.
“If I could implement one thing in the world to change it for the better, it might be to have every school adopt a curriculum in developing the quality of presence. Unfortunately, school curriculums don’t typically include guidance in meaningful self-reflection, and in methods to understand what you most value and how to shape life in a way that promotes well-being. This curriculum would help children develop skills in contemplative practices, in becoming comfortable directing their attention inward. They would learn to notice what enlivens them and to develop their budding core values, and how to put these values into action. They would develop the skills needed to come to trust their unique internal voice. This kind of exploration, much more than a content-driven curriculum, would help kids ask themselves the most relevant questions and provide a method for seeking answers to those questions.”
Through theory, anecdotes of herself and from therapy clients, and self-reflection exercises that you can do by yourself, Lisa achieves to create a brief but valuable guide to living a more authentic life.
Authenticity can be summarized as:
• Being yourself, rather than other people´s conceptions of you.
• Pursuing your purpose, the things that give meaning to your life.
• Putting intention into what you do instead of doing it out of habit or routine.
• Getting comfortable with perceiving yourself in new ways, and accepting new possibilities.
I have heard lots of times that many people don´t like self-help books because they point out the problem you are trying to deal with, proceed to attack all other techniques to fix it, and then state very obvious tips which are equally unhelpful, or give overly complicated tips with don´t help either because it´s easier said than done, ie. Telling an anxious person to just stop overthinking.
This book is not like that.
The writer is a certified psychologist. That was the first thing I noticed, and she didn´t need to mention her credentials for me to notice that her tips are actually helpful. The anecdotes are summarized, to be taken as an example of how a client from her therapy sessions experienced a problem and applied the techniques she recommends in their daily lives. Even if you do not feel identified with all of them and their issues, you can relate in the way you apply those techniques.
The book is written in bites easy to digest. There´s no more than one chapter for each purpose, so it´s not monotonous and repetitive.
The five building blocks are:
1) Awareness: With increased awareness, you are an alert observer of your thoughts and feelings as they are happening, and of how you receive the outside world. In contrast, without awareness, everything passes through the gates of your attention willy-nilly and unnoticed. Helpful things from this section:
-Identifying your core values.
-Learning to align core values with daily actions.
-Notice what gives you well-being, and maintain it as an internal state rather than allowing external conditions to determine your mood and happiness.
-Distinguishing temporary desires from what makes you happy.
-Practicing stillness, mindfulness, and watching how you talk to yourself.
-Transforming constriction feelings into positive feelings.
2) Reflecting: the skill of asking yourself the most relevant, helpful questions, and then sincerely listening to your responses, to cultivate a deeper understanding of how to effectively shape your life. Helpful things from this section:
-Separating yourself from your thoughts “you are not your thoughts”.
-Becoming conscious of the quality of your thoughts.
-Dealing with overthinking.
-Asking yourself the right questions to deal with your feelings.
3) Choosing: you know what choosing means. Helpful things in this section:
-How to make room for greater possibility (ie. Don´t limit your options with narrow preconceptions).
-Cognitive biases that influence our choices.
-How to minimize the stress that comes with a difficult, big or multiple-options choice.
-How to deal with fear when choosing unknown paths.
4) Acting: knowing how and when to act to in order to build the kind of life you want to see. Helpful things in this section:
- Wise effort, ie. Saving your energy for activities that calm you or fit your values, rather than random outburst of motivation to keep doing something just to avoid being still.
-Non-striving action: avoid acting when necessary.
-Being proactive rather than reactive.
-Valuing effort over outcomes.
-Periods of stuck-ness.
5) Allowing: basically going with the flow of events and letting them happen organically.
-Becoming comfortable with being passive
-Being present.
THE SUMMARY AT THE END IS THE BEST!!! You basically do not need to take notes of all the practices you should implement in your life. She literally did a summary for each chapter AND each of the five blocks just for you to keep it with you. What a pleasant surprise.
I would definitely reread this as soon as it begins to drift from my memory. A pure gem.
July 19, 2018
There are books that you seek for and there are others which they find you, this book was among the latter for me. Dr. Lisa Kentgen addresses common biases from psychiatrist point of view within this book. Fallacies such as sunk cost fallacy, status quo bias, availability bias, confirmation bias have been described and how they could hold us back within day to day life and our relationships in large.
Awareness, reflection, choosing, acting and allowing are five pillars which Dr. Lisa focuses on. She believes these pillars are not mutually exclusive and in order to be able to bring authenticity and happiness to our life we need to practice all the elements as whole. She described every, and each of them in to details and provide practices to strength them.
Fear and how it could act as hedonic treadmill if not bring awareness to it have been illustrated within the book. Instructions how to identify your fear and treat them accordingly have been described as well.
Dr. Lisa pictured a persona for each story by amending names and characteristics of her patients to protect their anonymity and at a same time make the book more story type rather than only problem solution type of book; so reader could relate with the persona and get the most of each case. She also shared from her personal experiences to give better picture to the reader in some parts.
I have been through the audio book version and find it pretty helpful. Dr. Lisa covers a lot of ground within this book and shared decades of experience. I recommend going through the book multiple times to get the best of it.
Awareness, reflection, choosing, acting and allowing are five pillars which Dr. Lisa focuses on. She believes these pillars are not mutually exclusive and in order to be able to bring authenticity and happiness to our life we need to practice all the elements as whole. She described every, and each of them in to details and provide practices to strength them.
Fear and how it could act as hedonic treadmill if not bring awareness to it have been illustrated within the book. Instructions how to identify your fear and treat them accordingly have been described as well.
Dr. Lisa pictured a persona for each story by amending names and characteristics of her patients to protect their anonymity and at a same time make the book more story type rather than only problem solution type of book; so reader could relate with the persona and get the most of each case. She also shared from her personal experiences to give better picture to the reader in some parts.
I have been through the audio book version and find it pretty helpful. Dr. Lisa covers a lot of ground within this book and shared decades of experience. I recommend going through the book multiple times to get the best of it.
September 12, 2018
I’ve read quite a few “self-help” books but this excellent books towers most. In plain and candid language the author sets forth a clear and definitive process for living a healthier and happier life.
I plan on purchasing this brilliant book for each family member this Christmas. Highly, highly recommended.
I plan on purchasing this brilliant book for each family member this Christmas. Highly, highly recommended.
March 17, 2019
I really like this book. The stories accompanying each chapter were powerful stories that helped to tie the lessons together. As a result, I've recommended my clients read this book. It's a really good framework for learning to live an intentional life and to create a life which one wants to achieve.
August 1, 2018
The book's format helped me apply the intentional practices in my day-to-day life. I really found the framework of intentional practices to be helpful. Several 'aha' moments.
October 16, 2018
The review is coming soon
December 8, 2019
Frankly, this book did nothing for me. I enjoyed the quotes at the beginning of each chapter the most. I do feel motivated, but it’s not because of anything I read.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews