C is for Consent

by Eleanor Morrison, Faye Orlove (Illustrator)

The book teaches that it is okay for kids to say no to hugs and kisses, and that what happens to a their body is up to them. This helps children grow up confident in their bodies, comfortable with expressing physical boundaries, and respectful of the boundaries of others. Full color.

Genres: Childrens, Picture Books, Parenting, Teaching, Fiction

16 pages, Board Book

First published May 1, 2018

Reviews

[Danika at The Lesbrary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great basic introduction to the idea of consent for small children. It is didactic and doesn't have much of a story (Finn goes to a family gathering and chooses which kinds of physical affection he wants to receive or consensually give.) At the end there are discussion questions for older kids and discussion questions for caregivers. The illustrations are... what I would expect from instructional material. So this is great if you're just wanting a book to introduce small kids to the idea of consent, but it's just basically an instructional tool.

[MTSN · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a well-intentioned but strangely clinical book, with unappealing pictures that I can't imagine attracting the eye of a little kid. In the strangest part, the little boy's grandpa leans down to kiss him and the kid's mom actually holds up her hand in a "stop" gesture, saying, "Please ask for consent first!" Yes, with an exclamation point. A normal mom would say something like, "Hey, Dad? We're trying to teach him that he doesn't have to get kissed if he doesn't want to, so could you ask him first?" It's like some alien robot's version of how human beings talk - kind of like those scenarios in sex ed books where teenagers say things like, "Before we take off our clothes and advance our intimacy, we should talk about our boundaries and limitations." Good idea. But for God's sake, sound like an actual person.

[Gretchen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very useful board book that helps explain bodily autonomy and consent not only to children, but to adults in their lives who might need the reminder that they are not owed physical affection from children. The straightforward, clear text accompanying somewhat generic but solid line drawings gives very useful scripts for both children and adults for firmly setting physical boundaries and reminding children of their option to not view affection as required in exchange for gifts or as a byproduct of a familial relationship. The last page of the narrative gives a very sweet example of Finn, the main character, asking for consent as part of offering to hold his friend's hand. The final page of the book has lots of discussion questions good for use with older children, but also great for encouraging adults to think about the ways in which they view children's autonomy.

[Muriel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am the person that buys this book. You are marketing to me and my family. It seemed to be exactly what I needed when I wanted to sit with my toddler (under 2 years old) and have a simple alphabet board book about consent. An easy and beautiful introduction to an age group that reads board books? Nope. It doesn't work out that way.

1) It's not an alphabet book.
2) There is no story.
3) The artwork doesn't hold the child's attention and looks like @AlecWithPen, which I love but young children don't particularly find it enrapturing.
4) I would give this to my mother in hopes that she would read it and learn about consent with my kiddo?

[Jillian · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I appreciate the importance of explicitly teaching kids about consent, this one reads very awkwardly. I'm also hesitant to recommend because of the way the Asian uncle is illustrated with eyes so squinty they aren't even open to get pupils. It's a miss. I appreciate Can I Give You a Squish more for this topic & as an engaging picture book.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The content is good it just feels very...clinical for a children's book. I don't see kids really paying attention or wanting to read it but maybe I'm wrong.

[Helayna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a short informative book about consent. I really liked reading this book because while being short and to the point it is very effective. I think it is very important to start teaching consent at a young age. I also like how they explained it to the child and the child was very head strong when others tried to violate his space. I wish that this was a thing when I was growing up because my family members would force me to give them hugs when I didn’t want to.

[Charlotte · Rating 1 out of 5]

Barf.

[Neil Pasricha · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my favorite children’s book in a long time. I honestly don’t think I understood the full meaning of consent until I read this book. Shameful, embarrassing, but true. When I grew up children were told to kiss and hug every auntie and uncle at parties. And uninvited cheek squeezing was certainly part of the game. These days I did the same with my nieces and nephews. Until I read this little book. Why did I read it? Because my (much more enlightened) wife is teaching our kids about consent. Such a huge issue. Who gets to do what with your body? Yesterday as I was saying bye to my niece I asked her: “May I give you a hug?” She paused, smiled, and then said yes. And it felt much sweeter than the old “Come here!” bearhugs I used to give. Everyone should read, and buy, and give away, and then buy more copies of this wonderful book.

[Marathon County Public Library · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finn and his family are having a party with friends and family. At the party, whenever a family or friend wants to show Finn affection (a hug, a kiss, etc.), they first ask Finn if that action is okay. Finn then responds according to how he is feeling. Finn's parents reassure Finn that it is okay if he does not want to sit on someone's lap. They also explain that is okay to give a fist bump or a high five instead of a hug.

This basic board book is a great conversation starter for families about consent, feeling comfortable, having boundaries, and being respectful of others' boundaries. Discussion questions are also provided at the end of the book for children and caregivers.

Taylor W. / Marathon County Public Library

[Panda Incognito · Rating 2 out of 5]

This well-meaning board book falls very flat. The cover is confusing, since it shows people holding hands, while the book focuses on expressions of affection with immediate family, other relatives, and friends. The cover may turn off parents who think that this is about consent in a romantic context, but they're not missing out on anything, because the book isn't good anyway.

Despite the "C is for..." title, this is not an alphabet book, but it also doesn't have a story, and just presents model situations. The ink-heavy illustrations are unappealing and will not catch children's attention, and the people in this book talk in a clinical, written-by-committee style that does not represent normal human conversations or the ways that people express their boundaries.

[Michael E Winkler · Rating 1 out of 5]

This has got to be the WORST "woke" leftist book I have had to read in years and just another example of how toxic the left has become. I certainly would not recommend this book to anyone as the title itself is rhetorical and or course consent is important, however taking this whole consent to family members with respect to simple hugs is simply ridiculous. However these leftist need to push this garbage down our throat and further state the obvious and treat people as if they need to be proselytized to over and over. Lastly I read books such as these to keep a tab on how the left is trying to dominate dialogue around various social issues. However this is a book so uninspiring it was incredibly difficult for me to get through.

[Nadia L. Hohn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this cute little boardbook. Full of old school illustrations that I might expect to see in a 1950s book yet, they are modern with diverse people represented, different abilities, generations, skin colours, and sexual orientations. (Religions weren't represented but that would be nice too.) The language is plain, clear, and to the point. This book gives young children language and shows in simple ways that they can determine what happens to their bodies and that they have some control over that. Powerful message.

[Sandy Brehl · Rating 3 out of 5]

As important as the content of this book is, I'm missing any real appeal to it. I can see it being used as a direct-instruction source at home or in play groups with simple conversations that are CAREFULLY age- appropriate. My confusion comes form the sense of the young characters appearing to be MUCH older than the age for board books.
I'm convinced it may be very useful for adults who want to address the topic but I can't see any child asking to read it again or to pick it up voluntarily.

[Tracy Barton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great board book to read with children--a fabulous way to help them see that THEY are in charge of their bodies. I wish I'd had this book available to me as a kid--so many unwanted hugs and kisses from aunts and uncles! Well-meant, but awkward and uncomfortable. We can do better, as parents, and this book illustrates that!

[Hayli · Rating 5 out of 5]

This board book is perfectly summed up to teach young children about consent! I love these board books and picture books that deal with important and sometimes difficult topics.

[librarian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Find this review and more at www.instagram.com/bookrecommendations...

Someone asked me, “Isn’t it too early to be teaching your infant about consent?”

I said, “No! It’s never too early!”

I want to make sure my babies know that they never have to give someone a hug, kiss, sit in their lap, etc. if they don’t want to… even if it is a loved one. I want them to understand that their body is theirs, and they can do (or not do) whatever they want with it! This book is perfect for teaching kids why they are allowed to say “no” to hugs and kisses AND ways to say “no.” But really, it’s teaching them early about body autonomy.

[Beth Hutto · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very simple picture book for very young kids. Teaches consent in a way young kids will understand and remember.
The drawings are very basic and not super visually appealing but that’s about my only critique of this book.

Consent is not smth that should only be taught in a manor relating to sex or related topics it should be taught to young kids about all aspects of permission concerning your body. Like a hug or kiss from a grandparent etc.

[✨Delaney ✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stay pissed Matt Walsh.

[kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love the idea behind this book. It shows children that they do not have to consent to physical touch from relatives or friends if they do not want to. It also shows multiple ways of greeting someone and sets the framework for what consent should look like. However, I do think the story could have been developed a bit more.

[Elizabeth]

I got this from the library after seeing it on Korri's GR, but apparently I'd missed Gretchen's positive review of it last May.

Our protagonist is a white-appearing boy named Finn (though the text rarely actual genders him), and given how many conversations about consent focus on women and girls as the ones saying "No" to touch from other people, I really appreciated that this book provides multiple examples of a boy child not wanting physical affection -- and the narrative ends with Finn asking his best friend's permission to hold her hand, so it doesn't fully elide the issue of the child as the one who needs to ask consent as well.

Yes, it's a little didactic and I don't know how much kids would be interested in multiple readings of it, but consent is so important and something we don't talk about enough. This book reads fairly quickly -- and because there are so many self-contained scenes, if a kid wriggles away partway through it's not like they will have missed the punchline.

I also really appreciate how concrete the book is in giving scripts and alternatives -- really equipping children rather than just giving them vague assurances that they can always say No.

Excerpt:

Mom's friend gives Finn a present. Does that mean he has to hug or kiss that person?

Only if he wants to!

[series of small images of Finn and an adult interacting in various ways -- hug, kiss on the cheek, high five, fist bump -- and one of Finn crossing his arms across his chest]

Maybe Finn could high five or fist bump instead, or maybe he doesn't want to be touched at all. It's his choice what happens to his body.

As Gretchen notes, the book "helps explain bodily autonomy and consent not only to children, but to adults in their lives who might need the reminder that they are not owed physical affection from children."

There are also discussion questions at the end -- one set for older kids and one set "for Parents, Family, and Caregivers."

While our protagonist child is white and appears able-bodied, other characters in the narrative include Black people and a wheelchair user, and one of the pairs in the opening "It's time for a party with family and friends!" spread is two men.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very direct and easy-to-understand primer on consent for the very young. The perfect book to read with your child before a family gathering. Heck, buy it for everyone so they're all on the same page.

[SL · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's never too early to teach your children to not be creeps :)

Just kidding....mostly. C IS FOR CONSENT is an important book to explain to children the concept of bodily autonomy as well as providing examples of language children can use to say 'yes' and 'no' to requests from others (children and adults). I wasn't in love with the illustration style—it had a retro feel to it—but I appreciated that the illustrations demonstrated examples of everyday diversity (characters of different ages, skin tone, abilities, etc.). I was surprised to find it as a board book and I'm not sure little ones would find it appealing (I'd prob hand this to preschoolers and slightly older children)but this can definitely serve as a simple yet effective text for parents to use to explain consent to their kids. The back of the board book provides questions that parents and their kids can discuss together after reading the book.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very sensitive, clear, and useful text. I just wish the illustrations didn't remind me so much of Simpsons Pictures I Gone and Done memes. :/

[J · Rating 1 out of 5]

The book has quite a misleading title since it makes the reader feel like they are getting an alphabet book but unless the author is making books for each alphabet in a series this is a standalone.

Otherwise the book is written in mind to make short scenarios to present to young readers while at the same knowing this is a book more geared towards virtue-seeking adults rather than than the former. As such the reader is introduced to a bevy of characters in couple-ships and other relationship groupings at the very start of the book (did everyone including Finn's parents ask for consent for these group shots?), which are then indirectly brought into scenario format in the following pages.

Some of the situations I would normally overlook just since they are normal things that families deal with such as hugging and very rarely the kissing on the cheeks while none of my in-laws ask for consent but expect to show their affection every time we get together. And in other situations I can most definitely see why you would teach a child the need to ask for consent and saying no if you feel uncomfortable such as sitting on an adult's lap even if they are related as Finn seems way older than would be a normal age for a child and even the reciprocation of touch-based animals to a family friend giving gifts seems a bit predatory.

But then the very last situation in which Finn meets up with his friend (perhaps relative) and asks to hold her hand seems very unrealistic as well as her response back to him. No children that I know would have such robotic questions and answers to touching each other but are rather instead quite sensory in their response to each other as all children have been since the start of time.

If you must feel the need to teach your child consent, saying no and how to respond to their feelings in any given situation it would be so much better just to sit them down for a heart-to-heart instead of bringing this manual into the room.

[Oak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Very simple and short. My partner thought it was too basic since we've talked for years about how each person is the "boss of their body," but this is the book that best illustrated and connected that idea to the word consent for my kids (5 & 8). I paid more than I normally would for a book so short and it was totally worth it since they both clearly understood the concept afterwards. They enjoyed the book, the pictures, and have each asked for us to read it together multiple times, or read it again on their own.

Diverse characters (in terms of race, ability) and situations (grandparents, aunt/uncle, friend, etc) and affirming of the child's autonomy.

[Marigold Bookhound · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book models consent in various scenarios (child-parent, child-grandparents, child-family friend, child-aunt/uncle, child-child) and it is portrayed simply which I found useful. It was a lost opportunity when the child is rarely shown asking for consent from adults in the book, though.
Great discussion questions at the end of the book.
Centers on a white child / family with racial diversity and disability sprinkled in. Would have liked to see the book center on a variety of children and families of different races and abilities instead.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Extremely simple consent instruction for little kids. There’s not much to it (words or pictures), but it gets the important basic point across that you don’t have to hug, kiss, or lap-sit anyone if you don’t want to. I don’t know if kids would be particularly interested in rereading this one but I can see that it could be handy to have around to share with relatives or other visitors who might not already be on board with this concept.

[Jaina Bee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now i know what to give people at their baby showers. Consent goes for everyone in every situation and kids are often overlooked— handled like objects, expected to endure kissing and hugging against their will. This book will kindly, gently offer a more appropriate way to negotiate boundaries with children.

[Rune · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love it. Succinct and clear for teaching young children. With the added bonus of discussion questions/ talking points for engaging with a child about this topic. (Might be a little advanced for the usual board book reader, but personally I love how indestructible board books are and don't think they should have a cut off age.)