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Calming Angry Kids: Help and Hope for Parents in the Whirlwind
Slammed doors. Hurting hearts. Tricia Goyer knows what it’s like to parent children with chronic anger. In Calming Angry Kids, Goyer draws on her own experience to help readers understand what’s going on in a child’s brainfocus on relationship over rulesteach a child how to handle frustrations without outburstscontrol how they express their own anger establish a standard of respect in the home Including reflection questions and action steps at the end of each chapter, Calming Angry Kids shows weary parents that peace in their home is within reach.
235 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 1, 2018
59 people are currently reading
563 people want to read
About the author
Tricia Goyer
163 books1,681 followersTricia Goyer is a busy mom of ten, grandmother of two, and wife to John. Somewhere around the hustle and bustle of family life, she manages to find the time to write fictional tales delighting and entertaining readers and non-fiction titles offering encouragement and hope. A bestselling author, Tricia has published thirty-three books to date and has written more than 500 articles. She is a two time Carol Award winner, as well as a Christy and ECPA Award Nominee. In 2010, she was selected as one of the Top 20 Moms to Follow on Twitter by SheKnows.com. Tricia is also on the blogging team at MomLifeToday.com, TheBetterMom.com and other homeschooling and Christian sites.In addition to her roles as mom, wife and author, Tricia volunteers around her community and mentors teen moms. She is the founder of Hope Pregnancy Ministries in Northwestern Montana, and she currently leads a Teen MOPS Group in Little Rock, AR. Learn more about Tricia at www.triciagoyer.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
October 15, 2018
Tricia Goyer’s newest book, Calming Angry Kids, is an invaluable tool for parents and caregivers. This book is chock full of resources, ideas, and real-life examples from the author’s life. Each chapter ends with Reflection Questions and Action Steps to help readers use the tools to help their angry child or even themselves. This book concludes with appendixes with scriptures to memorize as a family as well as other resources to help in a specific area.
This book was insightful as well as emotional with anecdotes from Tricia’s family. She doesn’t just give you a list of “do this but not that”. She masterfully weaves practical help with how her and her husband dealt with their children’s angry episodes. I learned about other possible causes that can also manifest itself in angry outbursts from children. This book will be staying on my nightstand to reference often as I embark on the tween and teen phase of parenting. One of the last things I would ever want is a severed relationship between my child and I due to anger. I really hope this book finds it way into the hands of parents that are looking for help and hope in the whirlwind of calming angry kids.
Note: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. I was not asked or expected to give a review – good or bad, and I have given my honest opinion.
This book was insightful as well as emotional with anecdotes from Tricia’s family. She doesn’t just give you a list of “do this but not that”. She masterfully weaves practical help with how her and her husband dealt with their children’s angry episodes. I learned about other possible causes that can also manifest itself in angry outbursts from children. This book will be staying on my nightstand to reference often as I embark on the tween and teen phase of parenting. One of the last things I would ever want is a severed relationship between my child and I due to anger. I really hope this book finds it way into the hands of parents that are looking for help and hope in the whirlwind of calming angry kids.
Note: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher. I was not asked or expected to give a review – good or bad, and I have given my honest opinion.
October 20, 2018
What’s a nice atheist girl like me, with no children to boot, doing reading a book like this?
I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway. I’m interested in becoming a foster parent, so I read the occasional parenting book. And seeing as my foster child “target demographic” is preteen to late teens, one of the things I’m bracing for is anger and lots of it.
If I’d known this was a heavily Christian book, I probably wouldn’t have entered the giveaway. Since I’m not going to pray for my foster child or use scriptures from the Bible to teach them, some parts of this book weren’t useful to me at all. As always, I wish authors who include a lot of faith-based advice in non-fiction books would be upfront about it in the book blurb. It feels super dishonest to me not to let readers know that’s what they’re going to be getting.
That aside, I appreciate how honest and open the author is about her experiences and her own feelings of anger, frustration, and disappointment when dealing with an angry child. I appreciate the many anecdotes from her experience that offer an “I’ve been there” perspective. And finally, I appreciate the list of annotations, further resources, etc. that she includes at the end of the book.
At the end of every chapter, the author lists questions for reflection and tips to incorporate for yourself, your family, and your angry child. Having the tips in an easy format at the end of each chapter allows this to be used as a quick reference once you’re done reading it.
I’m impressed with the author’s positive attitude about therapy and medications to help children with psychological trauma and conditions such as ADHD, PTSD, and generalized anxiety not just learn to cope, but heal.
I would recommend this book to people dealing with angry children, and those like me, who anticipate that they will be dealing with one in the future.
While I think this book is best suited for those who share the author’s Christian faith, I think readers who are atheist, agnostic, or non-Christians can glean enough useful information to still make this a worthwhile read (especially at only about 2 hours to read). I would estimate about 25% of the advice in this book is heavily Christian, which is way higher than my usual cut-off point, but since the author warned me early in the book that was her parenting style, I was willing to give her some leeway.
It was easy for me to replace the idea of prayer with “thoughtful, purposeful reflection,” and to think of secular alternatives to many of the scriptures offered. Where the author totally lost me was when talking about teaching a child what god sees in them, or the idea that as parents, your main job is making sure your child is a good Christian.
3 1/2 stars rounded up.
I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway. I’m interested in becoming a foster parent, so I read the occasional parenting book. And seeing as my foster child “target demographic” is preteen to late teens, one of the things I’m bracing for is anger and lots of it.
If I’d known this was a heavily Christian book, I probably wouldn’t have entered the giveaway. Since I’m not going to pray for my foster child or use scriptures from the Bible to teach them, some parts of this book weren’t useful to me at all. As always, I wish authors who include a lot of faith-based advice in non-fiction books would be upfront about it in the book blurb. It feels super dishonest to me not to let readers know that’s what they’re going to be getting.
That aside, I appreciate how honest and open the author is about her experiences and her own feelings of anger, frustration, and disappointment when dealing with an angry child. I appreciate the many anecdotes from her experience that offer an “I’ve been there” perspective. And finally, I appreciate the list of annotations, further resources, etc. that she includes at the end of the book.
At the end of every chapter, the author lists questions for reflection and tips to incorporate for yourself, your family, and your angry child. Having the tips in an easy format at the end of each chapter allows this to be used as a quick reference once you’re done reading it.
I’m impressed with the author’s positive attitude about therapy and medications to help children with psychological trauma and conditions such as ADHD, PTSD, and generalized anxiety not just learn to cope, but heal.
I would recommend this book to people dealing with angry children, and those like me, who anticipate that they will be dealing with one in the future.
While I think this book is best suited for those who share the author’s Christian faith, I think readers who are atheist, agnostic, or non-Christians can glean enough useful information to still make this a worthwhile read (especially at only about 2 hours to read). I would estimate about 25% of the advice in this book is heavily Christian, which is way higher than my usual cut-off point, but since the author warned me early in the book that was her parenting style, I was willing to give her some leeway.
It was easy for me to replace the idea of prayer with “thoughtful, purposeful reflection,” and to think of secular alternatives to many of the scriptures offered. Where the author totally lost me was when talking about teaching a child what god sees in them, or the idea that as parents, your main job is making sure your child is a good Christian.
3 1/2 stars rounded up.
October 12, 2018
First of all, I love Tricia Goyer’s heart. And I love how honest she is and how carefully she treats such a challenging topic as anger. But in addition to those things, I also appreciate her rare combination of grace and truth. This gracious lady has walked — and is still walking — this difficult motherhood journey and offers profound wisdom. Highly recommended.
October 8, 2018
Calming Angry Kids by Tricia Goyer is a wonderfully encouraging book for parents (or grandparents) dealing with children who have anger issues. I had 5 children (all now older adults) and don't remember them exhibiting a lot of anger but two of my grandkids have definite behavioral problems (to put it mildly!) so I was looking forward to reading this book. The author, in the midst of her experiences, speaks from her heart, not in a manner that says I've learned it all, so listen to me! but as a friend willing to share the things that have worked and are working for her with her children. Several things that resonate with me are the reminder to be focused on relationships instead of rules (and a clean house!) and that raising children is a journey, not a marathon. The changes will not happen overnight. In our instant gratification kind of world that we live in, it is easy to get discouraged when things are not instantly perfect. I also liked the reminder that sometimes the first step to healing a child's hurts and heart is to understand one's own feelings and emotions, recognizing them for what they are and then allowing God to align them with His precepts. So many good tips--being forgiving, allowing God's Spirit to guide, filling our minds (and our kids' minds) with God's Word, walking the talk (being the model adult one wants one's child to be), positive attention, praise the good, and one-on-one time--all such valuable advice. Some specific ideas that I am hoping my daughter will implement with her kids are using an anger log to chronicle angry outbursts, a thought notebook to help replace negative thoughts and focus on positive ones, and thinking cards to come up with ideas to respond to negative thoughts in a proactive way and avoid the cycle of anger and frustration. The author shared not only from her own experiences but from other parents and professionals that have dealt with angry children. At the end of each chapter are Reflection Questions and Action Steps to enable the reader to understand their own emotions and experiences and then to put into practice things mentioned. Other reminders I gleaned were to avoid power struggles, ignore the words and attend to the emotions of the moment and to show up every day, to run this often times frustrating parental race with faithful endurance. As she noted with a quote from Russell A Barkley, "The children who need love will ask for it in the most unloving ways." I am excited to share this book with my family and friends. Such a practical book with lots of principles to learn and tips to put into use, to help our kids learn to calm their angry emotions and actions.
I received a complimentary copy of an advanced reader's copy of the book and was not required to write a review. The opinions are my own.
I received a complimentary copy of an advanced reader's copy of the book and was not required to write a review. The opinions are my own.
October 22, 2018
"Calming Angry Kids" is a useful guide for any parent who has had (or has) an angry child. Some kids may wrestle with anger more than others, but the tools Tricia shares in the book are ones that any parent can use. These suggestions can also be easily adapted for classroom/homeschool use as well.
Tricia Goyer is an accomplished writer of both fiction and non fiction. She and her husband adopted children from foster care and blended the new members into their home, thinking there would be no big challenges. However, the years of abuse and neglect her adopted children carried into their peaceful home brought a testing of not only their faith, but their family unit as a whole. Tricia and her husband John sought counsel from a lot of sources, slowly breaking through the real reasons for their children's behavior.
Oftentimes there are other root causes that bring anger to the surface and in "Calming Angry Kids," Tricia shares the pieces that her family found as their journey together progressed. Not all methods work in every situation, and there were ideas that never took off. Seeking wisdom, Tricia and John reached out to counselors, social workers and others to give readers a handbook of helpful ideas to benefit both the parent and the children involved. There are Reflection Questions at the end of each chapter, as well as Action Steps to take.
Tricia has given parents who feel as though they are drowning a lifeline to pull them back to the surface. Learning more about who our kids are and why anger reveals itself are the first steps to greater understanding. I would recommend this book to parents, ministry workers, counselors, teachers, administrators, social workers and anyone who cares about a child who struggles with anger issues. This is a heartfelt book that helps encourage calm from chaos.
I was blessed by an advanced reader copy and chose to review. All opinions are my own.
Tricia Goyer is an accomplished writer of both fiction and non fiction. She and her husband adopted children from foster care and blended the new members into their home, thinking there would be no big challenges. However, the years of abuse and neglect her adopted children carried into their peaceful home brought a testing of not only their faith, but their family unit as a whole. Tricia and her husband John sought counsel from a lot of sources, slowly breaking through the real reasons for their children's behavior.
Oftentimes there are other root causes that bring anger to the surface and in "Calming Angry Kids," Tricia shares the pieces that her family found as their journey together progressed. Not all methods work in every situation, and there were ideas that never took off. Seeking wisdom, Tricia and John reached out to counselors, social workers and others to give readers a handbook of helpful ideas to benefit both the parent and the children involved. There are Reflection Questions at the end of each chapter, as well as Action Steps to take.
Tricia has given parents who feel as though they are drowning a lifeline to pull them back to the surface. Learning more about who our kids are and why anger reveals itself are the first steps to greater understanding. I would recommend this book to parents, ministry workers, counselors, teachers, administrators, social workers and anyone who cares about a child who struggles with anger issues. This is a heartfelt book that helps encourage calm from chaos.
I was blessed by an advanced reader copy and chose to review. All opinions are my own.
November 16, 2018
Disclaimer: I received this book for free from the author or publisher in a #Goodreadsgiveaway. This review is not required and it is my own words and opinions.
Review: When first I began reading Calming Angry Kids, I was wary this was going to be another parenting book that focused too much on the surface touchy-feelies and not get down to the root problem of the child's anger. For example, teaching you how to placate a toddler instead of figuring out why they are constantly frustrated. Woah, I was totally wrong about this book!
Goyer knows her stuff! She has several children - most are adopted with a history of abuse or neglect and struggle with multiple issues. Goyer uses many of her own family's stories failure, learning, and success.
A short way into the book, I began to see resemblance to my own family. While my kids don't come from the same background as the author's, I have one with autism, one with anxiety, and another with mild sensory processing issues. We're no stranger to major outbursts here.
I think this book would be beneficial for every parent of any size family. At the end of each chapter, Goyer asks questions to make you think deeply and realistic actionable tips. The end of the book has a large resource section of other books and websites that I've already found helpful.
I've begun implementing some tips and I've seen a difference already. I'm sure I'll read this book again (this time, I'll take notes!) and have my husband read it, too.
Review: When first I began reading Calming Angry Kids, I was wary this was going to be another parenting book that focused too much on the surface touchy-feelies and not get down to the root problem of the child's anger. For example, teaching you how to placate a toddler instead of figuring out why they are constantly frustrated. Woah, I was totally wrong about this book!
Goyer knows her stuff! She has several children - most are adopted with a history of abuse or neglect and struggle with multiple issues. Goyer uses many of her own family's stories failure, learning, and success.
A short way into the book, I began to see resemblance to my own family. While my kids don't come from the same background as the author's, I have one with autism, one with anxiety, and another with mild sensory processing issues. We're no stranger to major outbursts here.
I think this book would be beneficial for every parent of any size family. At the end of each chapter, Goyer asks questions to make you think deeply and realistic actionable tips. The end of the book has a large resource section of other books and websites that I've already found helpful.
I've begun implementing some tips and I've seen a difference already. I'm sure I'll read this book again (this time, I'll take notes!) and have my husband read it, too.
September 28, 2018
So first let me say the cover is exactly perfect--a whirling tornado. I think as parents we have all experienced the angry little and not so little tornados that live in our homes. This author is wonderful at helping others by sharing her personal experiences of life and what she has learned both through personal prayer and the help of others, including professionals in various fields.
I love how she incorporates prayer and those professionals and comes out with a better outcome than by only following one course.
This book gathers all her best experiences, tips and advice that she's learned through her own life's paths. Angry Kids are often very challenging to parents, causing stress amongst themselves and all that are around them. The book is full of suggestions that are tried and true. And of course all kids are different but I am certain that there will be something that will touch the heart of your angry child.
One subject she touched upon that I know can be a big determining factor is that we may follow a parental cycle that our parents used, which may not have been the best answer and we need to check ourselves before repeating that cycle to see if that is only our lack of control or really the best thing to do.
Good advice, good book and lots to learn from.
I received a copy of this book from the author. All thoughts are my own.
I love how she incorporates prayer and those professionals and comes out with a better outcome than by only following one course.
This book gathers all her best experiences, tips and advice that she's learned through her own life's paths. Angry Kids are often very challenging to parents, causing stress amongst themselves and all that are around them. The book is full of suggestions that are tried and true. And of course all kids are different but I am certain that there will be something that will touch the heart of your angry child.
One subject she touched upon that I know can be a big determining factor is that we may follow a parental cycle that our parents used, which may not have been the best answer and we need to check ourselves before repeating that cycle to see if that is only our lack of control or really the best thing to do.
Good advice, good book and lots to learn from.
I received a copy of this book from the author. All thoughts are my own.
November 27, 2018
Tricia Goyer’s book “Calming Angry Kids” provides exactly what the subtitle state “help and hope for parents in the whirlwind”. The book provide accessible tools, biblical insight and wise advice alongside the real life experiences of the author’s family walking the road of healing during times of intense anger. The book addresses so many useful topics from journaling your own anger moments, noticing the anger patterns of your children, understanding triggers from the past, anger cycles, and building up a child’s understanding of their feelings. Through it all the author stresses relationship and connection over unbending rules, helping to create a safe place for kids to process their big feelings and overwhelming stress. The encouragement and wisdom in this book, with biblical connections plus the experience of therapy and a seasoned parent (Tricia is the mom of 10 which includes several children that joined the family through adoption) makes this book a unique find and true resource. I read this book slowly to really study the anger triggers in our home, to try to apply the advice within, to build new patterns of parenting the change the cycle of anger. This book is worth the investment, the money to purchase it and the time to read and really digest it. It truly is both help and hope for parents.
October 1, 2018
I have read a lot of parenting books. I’ve read a lot of books on helping children handle their overwhelming emotions. I have learned so much from so many in the past five years. I’ve read through the lists on helping trauma, foster, adoptive kids. I’m an avid reader and have had much to learn. I’ve sought out the balance of brain based responses. Biblical responses. Trauma responses.
This is the easiest to read. Most practical. Well researched. Easy to grasp. And most likely to be internalized book of all the books. The author has lived, learned, prayed and suffered through gains and losses. Her story and knowledge are spot on and this resource is at the top of the list to share with those who need help parenting kids with strong emotions.
It's encouraging as she shares her failures and learning in parenting challenging/angry children of all ages. It's encouraging as she recognizes it's knowing the research. learning to know YOU are the key factor in calming kids and preventing the whirlwind, but that God is with you, His Word brings hope and help in the best practice concepts of calming angry kids, learning their triggers, and planning ways to help them grow the needed skills to overcome intense emotions.
This is the easiest to read. Most practical. Well researched. Easy to grasp. And most likely to be internalized book of all the books. The author has lived, learned, prayed and suffered through gains and losses. Her story and knowledge are spot on and this resource is at the top of the list to share with those who need help parenting kids with strong emotions.
It's encouraging as she shares her failures and learning in parenting challenging/angry children of all ages. It's encouraging as she recognizes it's knowing the research. learning to know YOU are the key factor in calming kids and preventing the whirlwind, but that God is with you, His Word brings hope and help in the best practice concepts of calming angry kids, learning their triggers, and planning ways to help them grow the needed skills to overcome intense emotions.
July 21, 2020
Read this book for a friend...because my kids aren't angry and neither am I. Our household is absolutely FINE, we're all doing GREAT!!!!
I don't read a lot of parenting books so I have little to compare this to, but I enjoyed this. I do struggle with getting angry when my kids get angry, which happens a lot. The specific focus of this book resonates with my daily life and that's what I appreciated about it. Goyer does apply some scripture, but she mainly talks from experience and the lessons she has learned through parenting both biological and adopted children (I think 7 of them). Her practical advice was very helpful. I've been trying to help my kids with affective labeling of their emotions and use lots of her tips for calming down. Even the most basic ideas were things I found to be refreshing. For a struggling parent like myself, this book was fresh water in a desert. I just want to grow and help my children grow too and this book gave a burst of hope for me in the midst of the struggle.
She's from Arkansas too so Natural State strikes again suckas!!!!!
I don't read a lot of parenting books so I have little to compare this to, but I enjoyed this. I do struggle with getting angry when my kids get angry, which happens a lot. The specific focus of this book resonates with my daily life and that's what I appreciated about it. Goyer does apply some scripture, but she mainly talks from experience and the lessons she has learned through parenting both biological and adopted children (I think 7 of them). Her practical advice was very helpful. I've been trying to help my kids with affective labeling of their emotions and use lots of her tips for calming down. Even the most basic ideas were things I found to be refreshing. For a struggling parent like myself, this book was fresh water in a desert. I just want to grow and help my children grow too and this book gave a burst of hope for me in the midst of the struggle.
She's from Arkansas too so Natural State strikes again suckas!!!!!
December 28, 2018
Author Tricia Goyer is well known for the novel she writes. She, however, is very versatile as her non-fiction works are incredible.
Written for foster and adoptive parents, Calming Angry Kids has great information for any parent. We all have challenges with our children and Goyer gives us some ways to have peace at home while allowing children their feelings.
Honest about her own feelings, including frustration and anger, Goyer doesn’t come across as the perfect parent who has it all together. Her family needs help too! She assures us that prayer and professional help can work together. With reflection questions and action steps, this book is extremely user-friendly. A great read for parents!
I received a complimentary copy of this book but was not required to leave a review.
Written for foster and adoptive parents, Calming Angry Kids has great information for any parent. We all have challenges with our children and Goyer gives us some ways to have peace at home while allowing children their feelings.
Honest about her own feelings, including frustration and anger, Goyer doesn’t come across as the perfect parent who has it all together. Her family needs help too! She assures us that prayer and professional help can work together. With reflection questions and action steps, this book is extremely user-friendly. A great read for parents!
I received a complimentary copy of this book but was not required to leave a review.
May 5, 2022
Outstanding, highly recommended. Get hold of this book for your children at any age, toddler to adulthood, perfect for your family, and helpful for yourself. Anyone facing anger issues, will benefit from this invaluable resource. Fantastic stories of difficulties in a household of eleven at one time. Including all ages, adopted and blended family. Also, how parents deal with their own anger, when the child or teen is angry. Success stories, that are sure to encourage you, when you feel overwhelmed and alone. I won this book from Goodreads and the Author Tricia Goyer. Thank you! Looking forward to reading more books by this amazing and passionate Mother.
October 27, 2018
I think I'm going to go back through this book and apply myself to the Action Steps and actually get something out of all this good advice. Loved Tricia Goyer's transparency and experience. If you are adopting or thinking of adopting, you should read this book. If you are an angry person or you were raised in an angry home and want to break the cycle, you should read this book. Simple, clear writing. Examples to explain the action points. Good job.
February 7, 2019
Practical and simple strategies to employ when dealing with anger issues. All age ranges are addressed, from babies up to teenagers. Valuable for all parents, even if your child does not have an anger problem. All children get angry from time to time! Author includes spiritual guidance from a Christian perspective, but non-Christians could easily disregard and still benefit from the practical advice.
April 17, 2021
An excellent book about dealing with anger in your children (whether they are biological, fostered or adopted) and yourself! Very much written from a biblical/Christian perspective. There are chapters that delve deeper into specific age groups. Tricia has learned a lot from raising 10 children (7 of whom are adopted, I believe) and she shares it in this book. THANK YOU, Tricia!
Now I'm off to start The Grumble-Free Year :)
Now I'm off to start The Grumble-Free Year :)
November 21, 2019
This was a practical book with lots of ideas on calming anger for both parents and kids. I would suggest reading with a friend so that you can talk through the questions at the end of the chapter and have a better chance at applying what you learn.
November 26, 2024
This book has some helpful and practical tips for dealing with the root issues of anger, specifically for adopted children, but applicable to everyone. A good reminder to check myself before trying to "fix" others.
February 5, 2026
Really, I only like the bits that are about Tricia’s kids because I’m still a child. I suppose I’ll find it helpful when I grow up if I have children who have mental problems. But right now I just read it for fun.
March 18, 2019
Excellent parenting advice, even if you don’t have an angry child.
May 12, 2019
A good book and one that I will use over and over again.
May 12, 2019
A useful book
This is a great boom that can be used again and again. It has great ideas and with her stories, it makes you feel not alone when dealing with angry kids.
This is a great boom that can be used again and again. It has great ideas and with her stories, it makes you feel not alone when dealing with angry kids.
June 9, 2019
It was great!! Calming each age group
June 10, 2019
So helpful
Thankful for this insightful book packed with practical ideas & resources!! I've been searching for a book like this for a long time.
Thankful for this insightful book packed with practical ideas & resources!! I've been searching for a book like this for a long time.
September 25, 2019
It is a re-hash of everything you've already heard & know. There wasn't much new or interesting in this book, unfortunately.
April 24, 2021
I don't know why this book took me forever to read, because whenever I picked it up, the information was so good and insightful!
Read
March 29, 2022I enjoyed reading it.
November 5, 2023
With a whole bunch of practical tips and experience to back it up, this book is one you will be taking notes from.
February 5, 2024
Phenomenal read! Love that it comes from a Christian point of view! Helped with great ideas for calming and working through problems with my kids!
October 22, 2024
I put off reading this book because I didn’t like the cover or think I have an angry kid. Mistake! All kids struggle with anger sometimes, and this is a great resource I’ll be rereading!
January 10, 2025
Taught me relationship building!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews