The Anxiety Code: Deciphering the Purposes of Neurotic Anxiety

by Roger Di Pietro

Librarian Note: Alternate Cover Edition for ASIN: B00OCSZORU.

This book examines personality characteristics related to generalized anxiety disorder, also known as neurotic anxiety. It offers a textbook-level depth exploration of psychopathology with easy-to-understand examples and encouraging dialogue.
Just as many biological symptoms (e.g., pain, fever, sweating) serve various functions, the book investigates an intriguing question: What if anxiety symptoms aren't merely the effect of some cause, but also personality-based and purposeful means to achieve goals?

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Health, Self Help, Science, Mental Illness

418 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 2014

About the author

Dr. Roger Di Pietro, Psy.D. is clinical psychologist in private practice who has authored Early Recollections: Interpretative Method and Application (with Dr. Harold H. Mosak), The Depression Code: Deciphering the Purposes of Neurotic Depression, The Anxiety Code: Deciphering the Purposes of Neurotic Anxiety, the Decoding Persistent Depression book series, and Anger: Psychological Reasons Why It Rises and How to Reduce it.

Reviews

[Gina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I need to think a bit about how I’m going to write this negative review, but I will say right off that it isn’t written in laymen’s terms and the author, IMO, has some offensive things to say about those suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, GAD. I was diagnosed with GAD in the early 2000’s when both of my parents had cancer, my father’s was terminal and he passed in 2005. Thankfully my mom went into remission and has stayed healthy ever since. While both of my parents had cancer, I was pregnant with my second child and was a new mom to a 6 month old beautiful baby girl, we were building a new house which we were moving into a month after my due date with my 2nd child, a beautiful baby boy! And my brother was getting married 2 months after I had my son. From there we went straight into the Holidays and my father declined rapidly. It was if he decided he was going to absolutely has the strength to outlive his 9 month death sentence to see the birth of his second grandchild and see his son get married. My dad lived 19 months instead of the 9 months the doctors predicted. His decline at Christmas was fast. He was hospitalized a few days after Christmas and went into respiratory failure from the lung cancer. My dad himself chose to override his own DNR when his breathing became a crisis and agreed to be intubated not realizing that he would never get off the vent. So the doctors had to follow protocol and document organ failure after organ failure as he died slowly in the ICU. After 10 of the worst days of my life, we had to make the decision to take him off the vent and let him die peacefully. Which he did in January of 2005. It was during that time that I was diagnosed with GAD. Now I was already a pretty anxious person. I’m the oldest child. I was the classic type-A personality, but I would NEVER choose to feel the levels of anxiety that I felt at that time and have continued to feel up until this day. The author of this book indicates that those suffering from anxiety, especially the higher anxiety diagnoses, are “often narcissistic and controlling” and that we may “choose” to be anxious. Well let me tell anyone who may be reading this...I WOULD NEVER CHOOSE TO FEEL THE LEVELS OF ANXIETY THAT I FEEL! If there was some magic switch that I could turn off I would have flipped that switch a decade ago! And with COVID?!? Ha!! My anxiety has skyrocketed! Since March, I haven’t eaten indoors, I won’t go to the mall to shop, hell, I won’t even go to Kroger. I do have some other health issues that I have to see a doctor for every month and I go to those appointments, but I am like a General in the Army. I have a plan and then back up plans and more back up plans. I have masks everywhere. I have a ritual around the use of hand sanitizer when I come back to my car. I won’t get into my car until I am sure that I have thoroughly cleaned my hands and phone so nothing from the office gets back into the car with me. If I need to run to Walgreens or maybe Target, I don’t linger anymore. I’m a woman on a mission. In and out as fast as I can go. Which has made Christmas shopping a real joy for my husband. Since I won’t step foot in a mall or any other crowded indoor space, my lovely husband has been tasked with the in person shopping this year. I have done quite a bit of online shopping but not everything can be bought online and I love Christmas!! I love GIVING gifts! I always go overboard and spend too much so this year my husband has more power because he’s doing most of it. However, I really want to be the one to be doing it, but I can’t because my anxiety is just too much. If we all were to go along with this author’s theories, my family can say I’m choosing to be anxious and scared. That I’m a narcissist who wants attention. But none of this is anything close to the truth. I wouldn’t choose these feelings for a second and I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy.

So I guess, in reading my review and my life experience. The things that triggered the high level diagnosis of GAD. 2 parents with cancer. 1 I knew was going to die. Moving. Pregnant when my first was only 6 1/2 months. Having to make the worst kind of decision anyone has to make about a loved one. When to call it quits on care of my beloved Dad when we knew my Dad was really probably already gone and he was just a shell of himself. All these things had an affect on my brain chemistry because they came in swift succession. I didn’t choose this and if I did, why would I continue to feel it now. Things are relatively easy now compared to then. If I chose the anxiety why didn’t I let it go when the painful times got better. I can tell you. Because no one chooses their mental health issues. I’m not a narcissist who wants someone to pay attention to me and neither are the millions more Americans who suffers from anxiety and depression. The author was walking the line of blaming the victim and we have done that in the past and they never worked out. EVER. I don’t recommend this book at all. I don’t have another one to tell you to read, but don’t read this. It’s not fair to those who are suffering greatly right now due to the pandemic. A generous 2 stars.

I won a copy of this book from Goodreads and was asked to read it and write a fair and unbiased review. I have not been paid and these are my own opinions.

[Cathy Bryant · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could have sworn that I'd already written a review of this. Ah well. Here I go again...
I was lucky enough to receive this as part of a Goodreads Giveaway, and I was very interested as I have GAD myself. This certainly is a fascinating look at the diagnosis and treatment of GAD, though I was surprised to find that Di Pietro bases his work on that of Alfred Adler. Still, there are worse inspirations - at least Adler recognised the importance of the external world influences as well as the internal and familial ones. However, this does mean a concentration on inferiority and superiority, which really form only one aspect of the condition. The list of GAD behaviours is a touch hostile, too, and not necessarily accurate - though I did flinch in recognition at a few!
This is, however, an excellent review of a neglected condition, and should push the dialogue forward in the academic world as well as among the general reading public.

[Jennifer Brass · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good clinical resource on anxiety as long as you belive that those with anxiety are all controlling
I was excited when I found out that I had won a digital copy of this book. After several attempts to read this book, I was unable to continue until recently. I was hoping that the book would give me revelations into my psyche and help me to reduce my anxiety or at least help me to reduce it. The first book gives similar information I have already read. As I will continue to mention, the narrative continues to label people with anxiety as narcissistic, controlling and an opertunist with the worst of intents.
My rating is 2.5. The book reads like a resource a text book might suggest. “For more information reading suggestions are x,y,z.” I found the book dry and clinical. I was expecting part clinical explanations and part help in reducing my anxiety. The book is full of examples of how people with anxiety consider others are the problem and take no ownership of the problem nor do they see the need to work on themselves. I guess there are people with anxiety who seek to control others either for their own good or their perceived idea of what is good for others . People who rely solely on others, refusing to do anything themselves and strive to control those who take care of them.
This may be TMI, I feel the need to separate myself from the examples in this book. I am a driven person. I consider myself as person who was a type A and crumpled under the weight/strength of anxiety to preform well. I had to learn to take on or do less than I strived and thought I could accomplish. Over the last fifteen/twenty years, I have worked to reduce what I expect of myself and the anxiety that springs up anytime I work on any project. I still strive to go above what others want or expect. I suffer from general and social anxiety and the fear of being in a situation I could not handle and could end up being hurt. While I prefer to go out with others, I do go out on my own, but do not enjoy it as much because I become hyper vigilant. I watch others, listen to snippets of conversations and keep my eyes on potential traps and escape routes. Being hyper vigilant is exhausting as is the continuous strain of my social anxiety.
If the reader is looking for an understanding of anxiety this book does deliver. The narrative however leans to believing that people with anxiety are controlling, lack drive and are master manipulators. While there may be many with anxiety that fit under this definition, everyone is different and needs to be seen as an individual and not a label. I fear that someone who approaches a patient with anxiety in the same way as the narrative of this book, will fail to see the patient let alone help them.
I would only recommend this book to students studying psychology with the caveat that this book has it’s own ideas about people with anxiety.

[Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

April 2018 (reprint)
GoodReads Giveaway
Original publication: Oct 2014, Nov 2015
Nonfiction, digital, education
2/5
ISBN: 9781312136601
418 pages
1/14/2021-1/17/2021

I received a complimentary digital copy of this book from GoodReads Giveaway in exchange for an unbiased review. It appears that this book has been reprinted on several occasions and the version I was granted access to is at least 2 years old.

The title is a little off putting labeling anxiety as neurotic which carries a negative connotation of a medical disorder. I totally respect a well educated and trained clinician but am taken back by how that might translate as condescending. It’s impressive when a person with an impressive pedigree can translate their knowledge and experience in a manner which relates to people without judgment.

Admittedly, the author does advise that this book isn’t a self-help text not should it be used for diagnosis but rather conversation and discussion.

“Consistent with Dr Adler’s recipe for accessibility, this book’s instructive, yet controversial style palatably blends its ingredients of art and sciences.”

The author embraces his interpretation of the teachings of Alfred Adler, MD, an Austrian psychotherapist who founded the school of individual psychology. His theories are based on social psychology and the importance of the feelings of inferiority and superiority in the role of personality development. Unlike Dr Adler, I find this author’s perspective paradoxically demeaning. The term neurotic anxiety was coined by Sigmund Freud and hasn’t been used since 1700’s to describe mental, emotional, or physical reactions that are drastic and irrational.

In 1980, the American Psychiatric Association removed the term neurosis from its diagnostic manual as part of a revamp to standardize the criteria for mental illnesses. So, it the author’s intent was not to provide self help or diagnostic assessment then it seems he accomplished the goal of providing a “controversial style” but disagree that it “palatably blends” with what most would understand as the goals of understanding anxiety.

[Tess · Rating 2 out of 5]

I won this Kindle ebook from Goodreads Giveaways.

This was a tough one for me. I can appreciate the author offering a different way to view GAD, but not to the point of describing an anxious individual as being controlling, manipulative, and self-centered. Personality characteristics are one thing; personality disorders are another. The book is described as a textbook and includes a lot of research and citations. If this is used in an academic setting, I hope the information is viewed as one possible way of conceptualizing anxiety. Otherwise, there may be a lot of upcoming therapists that will be pigeon holing anxious clients.

[K · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book through Goodreads giveaways.

This book is very dense. I wasn't expecting this at all - it reads like a textbook; or rather, it feels like a science teacher throwing an encyclopedia of concepts at you in one lecture. There is a ton ton ton of information to digest, which is shown by the many headings in each chapters, broken down by subheadings, then broken down by sub-subheadings... Personally, it felt like too much information at once, without enough time to really process it, that by the time I read the next line, I already forgot what the previous one was about.

I did enjoy the illustrations near the end, as it's nice to see how these things really apply in real life, and not just straight facts.

[Tom Schulte · Rating 3 out of 5]

This work is more descriptive than prescriptive; it explores more the what and why of the neurologically anxious rather that explains how to resolve it.

...neurotically anxious individuals have three distinct and revealing convictions that I’ve nicknamed the Anxiety Code: the need to be good, perfect, right, the need to be driven, and the need to be in control.

This book is primarily based on Adlerian theory and practice, wherein people are comprehended as active, resourceful, goal-oriented persons functioning within a social field. Adlerian theory and treatment is influential, incorporating individual, genetic, familial, and environmental factors in understanding and treating psychopathology.

Overall, the book is much too long and often reads like assembled notes for a presentation rather than an edited, focuses book-length treatment. I see the book in two parts, first a concise description of high anxiety and its motivation that could just be the book then hundreds of pages of what may be sockdologizing under the microscope as the author details, often redundantly, scheming of the anxious including long dialogue from mock therapy sessions.

I mostly appreciate the advice to look past the distracting symptoms and search for the motivation behind the anxiety; this person has some goal. See things from their point of view!

...people — and their symptoms — are much more comprehensible once you factor in how their desires shape their movement.

Those with generalized anxiety may develop symptoms and use excuses to do things that enable socially-beneficial goals.

What if anxiety symptoms aren’t merely the effect of some cause, but also personality-based and purposeful means to achieve goals?

People can focus on whatever is necessary to generate specific emotions that energize movement in any direction, or immobilize them from taking action, to reach a goal.

Throughout each life stage an individual needs to cooperate and be interdependent to address life’s challenges.

Those with generalized anxiety believe that they must be good, perfect, right. This can apply to one area or many. An intense or absolute tenacity to this conviction is related to symptom generation.

Neuroses reveal inadequacies in life preparation.

Neurotic individuals may seek attention, the prerequisite to acceptance, in accord with their life style convictions and in a way that validates their worldview.

Also valuable is advising against unhelpful techniques such as literalism and universalism:

Literalism can frustrate all involved. For those who detest a gray world, the stringent use of language can provide predictability, simplification, and clarity. In addition, literalism can elevate neurotic persons as they’re right in the absolutist sense, while prompting those proven wrong to make amends or engage in some other conciliatory behavior.

...problems arise when people act reflexively without thoroughly investigating what’s said. Unfortunately, unexamined statements may be taken as universal truths and applied to an entire population equally. While simple, easy, and common, uncritically using shortcuts and applying blanket terms neglects to take into account variations and exceptions to the rule.

Finally, I believe we are all on some continuum of anxiety so that some advice here is broadly applicable:

...they may gravitate toward simplistic shortcuts and neat explanations, which are economical but may be inaccurate or counterproductive as they make decisions with insufficient information.

...individuals may confirm what they believe (even if it’s unsupported, incorrect, or bizarre) rather than look for alternative hypotheses and change their perspectives and understanding. It’s easier for people to accept something that’s in accord with their perspective than for them to challenge their understanding.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Anxiety Code by Roger Di Pietro takes an in depth look at the reasons for anxiety. Identifying the cause, may help some people avoid triggers. So many examples are given that the reader may assume everyone has anxiety and neurosis.
On page 140, Di Pietro states " Neurotic individuals try various paths and maneuvers in life, and those methods that work to achieve a goal will be retained and used later." In other words, we are all neurotic? This can also be described as the learning process. Whether the outcome was good or bad, you remember what the cause and effect were, and you will apply it later in life. I don't believe this makes us neurotic.
Bad parenting comes up frequently. I think we all have examples of people in our lives who had bad parents, but they themselves are functioning adults. The opposite can also be said. Some people are wonderful parents, and the children have substance abuse problems and need a lot of support to sustain themselves. On page 145, Di Pietro describes how bad parenting creates bad children. "Neglecting, rejecting, spoiling and pitying them are the four fundamental ways of mishandling children." Yes and no. Parents do need to offer the right tools for succeeding in life, but what the children do with them is the determining factor of success. Accountability must be addressed.
Self esteem also should be addressed, but it seems this is also an indicator of neurosis. On pg. 159, "inferiority complex is a pre-requisite, defining characteristic of neurosis." I suppose always feeling like your not good enough, and sacrificing yourself for others could be considered neurotic, but I think focusing on self esteem vs self doubt would be more beneficial than being diagnosed as neurotic and having anxiety.
The distracting odd use of italics and bold type had me wondering if I should read between the lines for more ways to decide if I have anxiety or not. I think all the examples should be taken with a grain of salt, and not a hard rule. Anxiety and neurosis can be crippling, but not every factor of life is a sign that you have either as a diagnosis. I give the Anxiety Code two stars.

[Andrea Stoeckel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Even with a background in Psychology,this was a very difficult book to parse. It is extremely clinical. I have anxiety so was happy to have won this via Goodreads Giveaways. However, IMHO it would have been more accessible if it had been less of a textbook, less critical on anxiety and more aimed at laypeople. It was OK 2/5

[Caley · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a difficult read for me. After reading the synopsis I thought this book may provide a deeper understanding of GAD, and to a certain degree it did. The information felt thorough and gave me a new perspective on a number of points. Unfortunately, those points were mostly overshadowed by the delivery. The Anxiety Code reads much like a textbook, very dry and clinical, but without any set direction/order. Most textbooks seem to map out the path to enlightenment, relaying it's content in stages for better understanding. It's very possible that I somehow missed that map, but it made me question what was fact vs. what felt like personal bias based on a limited scope.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am still reading this book but have already rated it a very good, It has alot of informative ideas and conclusions abouty anxiety. 1.) Why we have it 2.) Is it possibly there to help rather than hurt u3.)andHow should we deal with it in life. A really good book on the subject.

[Roda Mae Roadel · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Psychology student, this helps me a lot to understand m field :)

[Teresa Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won a paperback copy of this book through goodreads. It was very thought provoking and had me thinking in different ways about mental health.

[Sheena · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved it!

[BUN Willy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this books so much ! I want its printed giveaway

[Kelly Knapp · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not light reading. Despite the author's statement that this book was for laypersons, I found myself needing to check some psych specific words. I am an intelligent woman but many of the concepts her were unfamiliar.

I have anxiety, but didn't feel that this gave enough info to begin a change. I did appreciate that the author states that medicine is not the be all and end all of treatments. Also, his comment that our recollections of the past are always seen through the present, therefore some our past may not be real.

There is little doubt that the author knows his subject and tries to show why the old, standard way of treatment may not work.

[SA · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Goodreads, the author and publisher for a copy of this e book.

The author states from the start that this book is not for self-help or diagnosis. This is useful to know going into the book. As a layperson rather than a clinician or academic I’m not qualified to assess the accuracy of the content, however it does appear to be well researched and referenced.

I do think that a book with this much content would benefit from more visual, digestible formats such as figures, tables or infographics that summarize key points or data. If opening to all audiences, then more plain language summaries would be helpful.

[Inna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky to win a paperback copy through a goodreads giveaway.
This book offers an interesting read for those interested in GAD or mental health issues. Very well-written: not too academic. I think it's a great introduction into the topic for those looking to uncover the deepest reasons behind mental health issues.

[Deb · Rating 1 out of 5]

I won this book and my honest opinion is that I am not qualified to rate or review it. I was not expecting it to be a deep textbook type of writing so was not prepared to have to spend hour upon hour to decipher it. This is not a review, as I again disqualify myself from giving one, just an opinion of the effort I was willing to put into it.

[Steve · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was ok but it was written for the mental health practitioner and I am not one. Not a text book but more like a text book than a self help book (which to be fair the author does say) this was tough to read as a casual reader. I received a free Kindle Edition of this book through the Goodreads First Reads giveaways.

[Jake Jeffries · Rating 1 out of 5]

Thankfully I won this in a Goodreads giveaway. I can’t help but wonder who in his life with anxiety hurt him? It is super critical of anxiety to the point of dismissing it as a mere tool to manipulate others instead of an actual mental illness. I powered through the book since it was a giveaway but otherwise would have been a DNF for me.

[Anne-Marie Woloszyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Anxiety Code

A challenging read but very thought provoking. Some parts of the book were quite profound. Although not a self help book, I learned a lot about myself in the pages of this book. And there is still a lot more for me to unpack. I think that the author is brilliant and the book is worth the read.

[Virginia · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
The Anxiety Code offers a serene and enlightening exploration of mindfulness, energy, and self-discovery. With practical guidance and spiritual wisdom, it’s a perfect read for anyone looking to deepen their practice, enhance their well-being, and connect with their inner self.

[Kristle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting but very technical

This book was very interesting but very dry and technical. It felt like reading a college textbook. I would not recommend reading before bed unless you’re having trouble sleeping.

[Carly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a FANTASTIC BOOK! I learned things about myself I never knew before. I am a really high strung person already and this made so much sense for me!! You have to read it! I won’t spoil it for you so buy this and and read it!!

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway.

It's an extensive look at all facets of anxiety, it's causes & effects. It's a very informative book, but it's pretty intense & not for the faint of heart.

[Jean · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting read, though I did have problems with reading it at times because it is very clinical and I would have had an easier time if it was written more in layman's terms. It gave me a lot to think about though.

[Ashley · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF I am very interested in this topic, but this book was so dense and boring. I will probably try again to finish this book at a later date, but there are so many other books to read that I lost interest this time around.

[Carol & Russell · Rating 3 out of 5]

it was not a great or bad book. I mean some the book help and other part didn't. but if you want to know about this book does help.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be informative about things I didn't completely know and helpful.