Shattered Silence: The Untold Story of a Serial Killer's Daughter

by Melissa G. Moore, M. Bridget Cook

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Genres: True Crime, Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Crime, Book Club, Audiobook

384 pages, Paperback

First published September 7, 2009

About the author

Melissa Moore is an Emmy-nominated journalist, as well as the Executive Producer and Host of Monster In My Family on LMN network.

She is an expert and speaker on the topics of recovery from trauma, domestic violence, and serial violent crimes.

Moore was raised as Melissa Jesperson, a daughter of the infamous "Happy Face" serial killer, Keith Jesperson. Growing up in a small town in Washington State, she survived the escalating trauma from her home life and the man she called father. Moore previously shared her inspirational story in the memoir, Shattered Silence.

Today, she frequently shares her insight and background with other families and survivors seeking healing from violent crimes.

Reviews

[Christy · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was not at all what I expected it to be. I was completely disappointed. There were several times I considered not even finishing it. It was a slow read, and she seemed to put too much emphasis on nothing imparticular. Later in the book there were things I thought should have had more detail, but she was incredibly vague. All that mixed with a few inconsistancies with people's names and you have a disaster of a book. I was not impressed at all. Not to mention the fact that the end of the book turned into a motivational, Christian novel of overcoming all obstacles through God. Blah blah blah

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wouldn’t have picked this book up on my own but it was my book club book this month. I would have stayed away from this book for two reasons: 1) I don’t like memoirs about crappy childhoods and 2) I don’t like books that talk about someone’s spiritual journey. I find religion to be so personal and it makes me feel uncomfortable to read. Plus, even if it isn’t meant to be judgment, I find that often it feels that way. As if one of the take aways should be, “Well gee it’s too bad I don’t believe in God or all my life’s issues would be solved.” I just think that is so condescending. And both of those things contributed to my dislike of this book.

There were lots of other things that I disliked about this book as well: 1) The Dr. Phil Show – give me a break that is so silly. I rolled my eyes so hard my head hurts. 2) The author’s premonitions – again, that is just so obnoxious. And don’t mistake me, I do believe in intuition but some of the time the author spent convincing us she actually knew when stuff was going to happen. She knew that a fire was approaching in the form of a dark shadow way before her bus seat caught on fire, (or perhaps she just felt her ass getting warm - Again, insert major eye roll).

I also think that it was pretty clear that the author didn’t want to talk about her dad’s crimes. Which is a shame because she highlights that she is the daughter of a serial killer but then doesn’t talk about the killings hardly at all. And that is what makes her crappy childhood story so unique. I think she really missed an opportunity to make her story different. Something like alternating true crime type chapters of what was happening with her father during each part of her life would have been really interesting. She does mention at one point something about her father cleaning up blood but she gives no details – would that have been his first murder, who was it, I wanted to know that stuff!

But the biggest problem with the book is that it was just poorly written. The whole book was the opposite of show not tell. She tells us that her step father is awful but gives absolutely no indication why until several chapters later where she mentions in passing that the week before he had thrown her mom against the wall (but mind you supposedly her premonitions told her from the beginning he was bad). Instead she could have shown us instances where things were off about him or described the first time he was violent. The same thing with the boyfriend Sean, after the rape she says she always had bad feelings about him that she ignored. But she never explained that to us. In fact, she fell hard for him and it was her friends telling her that he had been in trouble in the past. Not her magical spidey sense.

Finally, the way she wrote was distracting. Take this scene when she was 5, “I felt like I should have been shocked at the news that Grandpa Roy was marrying Lucy, but I was happy for him. I had seen Grandpa so miserable, and I didn’t want him to be alone.” Really? Those were the exact thoughts that your 5 year old self thought? Because 5 year olds don’t talk like that, adults do but she wasn’t writing as an adult, she was writing as a 5 year old. And this happened all through the book, if she wanted to tell the story as her adult self then she should have told it that way and not tried to tell it as she thought when she was 5 because I didn’t believe her and that made me distrust everything she wrote.

Overall, I would not recommend this book.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow. Really don't know how to review this one. I was actually fairly hesitant to pick it up when I realized that I knew the author and her family a few years ago - we went to the same church on the South Hill for a couple of years, we both eventually moved to different areas of Spokane, and our paths have crossed randomly a few times since then, though we haven't kept in touch. When I knew her she was quiet and sweet, but she seemed somewhat guarded; it almost felt like I would be eavesdropping on a private conversation or reading her diary and I didn't want anything I read to change the way I would interact with her when we run into each other again.

But I'm glad I did. It was a hard book to read - Melissa survived some truly horrific situations. Having experienced nothing even remotely as traumatizing as any of several aspects of her childhood and adolescence, I can only hope that I would have the same courage, resilience, and fortitude she has shown. I especially appreciate her emphasis on choices, listening to your gut/intuition/the Spirit/knowing, and relinquishing the past so you can fully embrace the present and future. She leaves me very little excuse for complaining about my life.

Also brings to mind a quote attributed to Plato: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

For more book reviews, visit my blog, Build Enough Bookshelves.

[Rebecca Grace · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was ok... I didn't feel like the author had a great voice, the story didn't flow and it didn't capture my attention and hold onto it all the way through. Sometimes it was a struggle to get through, and sometimes the author just sounded a little too... out there. The stories seemed random, and there wasn't enough detail (not necessarily just the grisly ones) to really grasp the message she was trying to convey. Not really worth reading, I don't think.

[Erica · Rating 2 out of 5]

This woman has written about her experience growing up without knowing that her father whom she looks up to and counts on the most in her life, is a serial killer. She doesn't find out about this until she is a teenager. This tells a story about how along with her father being imprisoned for serial murder, her struggles growing up without hardly any $ to survive, contstantly moving making it a struggle to get comfortable in a new environment not able to make and keep any friends, having to deal with her mothers very abusive and mentally ill boyfriend controlling her household...she's able to keep her silence and try to be positive about it.

If this story was in fact true in full, there were some things I felt really should have been done on her part as well as her mothers part. She viewed her mother as someone who always knew what to do when she never showed the love and compassion she needed to show to her kids and yet continued to have more with no $ and no time or energy to show the love. smart. She also allowed her boyfriend to keep coming back while promising her that it wouldn't happen knowing he has continuously put her in the hospital as well as harmed her son and daughters. "hes not coming back once he gets out of jail kids I've changed the locks." Three days later "ok, i've given him a new key kids deal with it." great parenting considering the trauma her children have already had to deal with having their own father making promises he can't keep while his children are learning he seems to be, also, mentally unstable.

So basically while going thru all of this she's trying to teach people a lesson in being positive I will give her that what she did greatly benefited her. However I didn't think the book was structured very well and she supposedly had a professional helping her put it together. There were what seemed to be significant situations that never followed thru we don't know what happened it seemed like it was thrown together we didn't even know specifically where she lived and when at what period in her life. within 20 pages she goes from being 7 to 15. It becomes confusing because there was so much left out.

On a more personal note. I'm not agreeable to the LDS religion and living in Utah I feel like it's difficult to escape having to live thru the effects of it. I wasn't able to after checking out this book. She gets thru telling everyone how her new husband's family will not accept her because she isn't mormon....so the answer is what...abandon her catholic upbringing to join the mormon religion in order for her inlaws to accept her. Something I absolutely never agreed with also something about the mormon culture (not the religion, the culture)that always really upset me.

So this book sends a good message overall to people who are going thru what she went thru and I'm glad she's happy now. But I feel like she worked too hard all the way to the end to deliver the same message that you can find and read in pretty much any self help book. I wouldn't recommend it. I'm pretty surprised I even had this much to say about it honestly.

[Brooke Hargett · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book as part of my research on serial killers. Melissa Moore is the daughter of the "Happy Face" serial killer, and she is just a year older than me, so it really put her experiences in perspective in contrast to my life. She has become a very strong woman that speaks out on violence and is not afraid to own her voice. She has been on several shows, including Dr. PHil and Oprah and in now an international speaker.

She does a great job telling her story, and giving the details of this complex man whom she loved, who in many ways was a normal father, but who had his demons. It was chilling to see the normal side of him, the kind and playful father. But there were also times when he really scared her. The conditions she grew up in were appalling. It is easy to see how people that are subjected to the types of neglect and abuse that she and her siblings faced could feel trapped and never be able to get out and break the cycle.

It was such a different twist to hear about him from his daughter's perspective. It was also kind of eerie because normally the books I read about serial killers are fiction. It is so eerie that those people really died. None of the murders were detailed, so I liked that it was done tastefully. It's is more her story and her perception of her father.

She overcame many obstacles to be the insightful and well rounded person that she is today. It was a good read and compelling enough that I finished it over a weekend. I commend her on her ability to see beyond her circumstances and her choice to make something of herself despite dire circumstances. Her story is one of inspiration that I won't forget.

[Kathryn · Rating 1 out of 5]

Aside from the poor writing this book was ok (although that may have been because I kept waiting for it to get better, thinking it would) about half way through the author starts to intorduce us to her relationship with God. The rest of the book reads like some sort of church sermon or bible story. It is fine if you want to write about your faith, but don't pretend it is going to be something else! Complete dissapointment. Too many inconsistencies in the story, overall bad writing, and if I wanted to read about God, I would pick up a bible or go to church!

[Carra · Rating 1 out of 5]

Terrible book - obnoxiously preachy. Didn't give any information about her father which was what the book was presented as. Don't care about your life, thanks. Reinforces the fact that everyone shouldn't be allowed to write a book.

[Garpu · Rating 1 out of 5]

[CW: domestic violence, animal abuse]

Snap Judgment, I love you. But this is the second time I've read a book based on hearing a story on the show and been horribly burned by awful writing.

First up, the book is basically a shill for Dr. Phil. I wish I'd known this going into it, so I would've saved myself a trip to the library.

Secondly, most of the early chapters have at least one reference to a cat or other pet being tortured and killed--generally interspersed with some idyllic memory or sprung out of the blue with no narrative connection to the story. I get it, though, the author's father is a serial killer. I don't think that the way the revelations are interspersed really benefit the narrative, though. To the outside reader, the red flags are as many as a May Day parade in the Kremlin. So when the reveal happens with her father, it's neither shocking nor a surprise. It's heavy-handed and unnecessary--in most narratives, if you have to rely upon animal abuse to show how awful and evil someone is, then your writing needs work. The story would've been better benefited by how the interpersonal relationships between her dad and the rest of her family showed that not all was as it seemed. The end effect would've had the intended horror, as well.

Third, the structure of the chapters needs editing. Generally each chapter will begin with some idyllic description, have some horrible thing happen, and then end with a momentous statement of vague impending doom. Like with the "surprise" descriptions of animal abuse, the effect doesn't have the intended effect with the reader--the reader stops listening, as it were, with the structure exactly the same for each chapter.

Fourth, it winds up having a very heavy-handed evangelical Christian/LDS redemption narrative. Again, had I known this going into the book, I probably would've given it a pass. As it stands, it comes off like a bait-and-switch or an infomercial.

[Jill Crosby · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book about growing up with a serial killer for a dad is OK. Keith jesperson raped and killed at least 8 women as “The Happy Face Killer,” all the while maintaining his role as a provider for his first family while raising a second family shows the dichotomy of his spheres of operation.
The beginning 3/4 of the book is “all right,” as daughter Melissa details the deprivation of growing up in a family where her father, the main earner, did not make much money, and moved from company to company. Yet we don’t see what is going on at home as the killer’s crimes stack up. Where were they living when he made his first kill? What was going on at home when he started writing his letters to law enforcement? Most importantly—how did his kills influence his interactions with his family? There’s no point of reference for “crime” vs. “home life.” And there’s also the annoying repetition of her “premonitions” that have kept her and her family members safe in dicey situations. She also provides a look at her mother, who goes onto marry yet another abusive husband, and sees no way to break out of her cycle of abusers.
But the last 1/4 of the book—events are sped up, details are eliminated, and the focus seems to be Melissa’s conversion to Mormonism. I finished feeling like I’d only had a peek into the family life of the serial killer. For a MUCH better read, Kerri Rawson (daughter of BTK), delves into depths Melissa Moore doesn’t even know exist , detailing the effects of her father’s crimes on family, friends, and neighbors.

The narration is choppy and trite in Shattered Silence, and a lot has to do with the ghost-writer. If you’d like to round out your knowledge of serial killer homelife, this book is not going to provide a lot of insight.

[Sierra Dean · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book wasn't terrible, but everything I'm seeing suggests that it's never going to become what I want, and other reviews say it just becomes about the author's journey to finding God, which is fine, but not what I was reading the book for. So I'm calling it quits on this one early.

[Kristina Brownell · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 1/2 stars. I really don't know why I picked this book up at the library. Morbid curiosity? My daughter needed a biography to read for a school class, so I was browsing. We ended up walking home with a book about a meth addict for her (from the YA section) and an account of a serial killer's daughter for me. Now we're both reading mine. I guess my 12 year old has a morbid curiosity too.

The thing is...my kids live a sheltered life. It's good for them to get outside their comfort zone and realize how blessed they really are. This biography is heart breaking, but hopeful. The focus is definitely NOT on the inapropriate or gruesome. Melissa More was raised by a father who is obviously disturbed and a mother that is neglectful and emotionally distant. And that is before the divorce that makes things even worse.

This woman has taken the high road. She has built good relationships. She has been able to forgive--herself and others. Mostly, she has been able to learn great things from such a terrible beginning.

The book itself gets a bit monotonous through the middle sections. Some things are really glazed over that probably shouldn't be. But overall, it was definitely worth my time.

[Kelle · Rating 1 out of 5]

The premise of the book is intriguing, however the delivery is very sub-par. I felt like the book lacked any formal editing and perhaps any real message. Yes, I felt sorry for Melissa and her siblings, but I didn't feel connected to their story.

The writing style seemed forced and amateurish. The chapters are too long and filled with unnecessary tidbits. The story flip-flopped and at the end of every chapter it tries to deliver a stronger statement. This ultimately fails. I kept asking myself why I was reading a journal-type diary of a scattered teenage girl (abused and tragic yes), but also very unlikeable.

The last few pages of the book reinforce what I believe the author wanted to give as it's message: stand up for yourself, don't be afraid to tell your story, etc.

I would have liked for this book to give a real insight into the pain that having a convicted felon as a father. I think that it would have resonated with a wider audience, as well as possibly let other children of convicted murderers know that their feelings are in fact, valid.

[Anna Engel · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a terrible book—poorly written, inconsistent in so many ways, riddled with editorial errors, and lacking in focus. The story could be interesting, but it's so poorly told, it's actually rather boring.

*Names that are "changed for privacy" were not always changed. I found at least two instances in which individuals' names were different than the "changed" ones.

*Homonyms are hard. Peaked, piqued, and peeked are different words. All were spelled "peaked" in this book.

*I think the author sometimes forgot that she had a youngest brother. She only refers to her full siblings for the majority of the book, though.

*The timeline is often hard to follow because it jumps back and forth between contemporaneous time periods (i.e., not past and current, but between past and past).

[Hava · Rating 3 out of 5]

The opening pages of this book are horrifying. Here's a little girl whose father tortures her pets to death for fun, and whose mother won't do a damn thing about it or even acknowledge that it's happening. This is so far beyond my realm of experience and background, I couldn't begin to understand what that would be like.

Melissa's father is a monster in some ways, but he's a loving father in other ways. Melissa's mother is a doormat who goes from abusive relationship to abusive relationship and doesn't understand that this is a problem. Melissa's siblings all go their own way and live out their lives at their friend's houses because living at home is hell. Melissa does the same thing. She gets herself into some pretty bad situations and starts to do exactly what her mother did, when she finally (a year later) realizes that this isn't okay. She breaks the cycle of abuse, which I really applaud her for.

Melissa went public with her story because she found that there was no support group for the families of the "bad guys" - there were support groups galore for the families of the victims, but none for the families of the perpetrators, especially of the serial killer variety. She ends the book with a list of thoughts especially for these families, which I thought I was a good idea. If you have a family member who did something horrible that you're struggling to deal with, then this is definitely the book for you (especially the ending).

But for me, this was just a really depressing book. As a personal side note, I left the LDS Church about two years ago, and so when I read that the author joined the LDS Church, that was difficult to read. However, that is a pretty personal thing - it may be that other people wouldn't care one way or the other.

Also, I read "Shattered Silence" and "Twisted Faith" back to back, which was bad timing on my part - both were depressing books with not-so-good people in them, doing pretty dumb things. After reading either one of those books, you'll want to pick up a frothy, light book, because believe me, you'll be ready for the change of pace.

Overall, this wasn't a gripping, have-to-finish-it-right-now sort of book. The writing style was nothing to write home about. And so for me, it garners a measly 3 stars.

PS I forgot one of the things that bothered me the most - the fact that Melissa was constantly having (visions? I guess you would call them) about a huge variety of things. She'd just "know" that her dad was coming over, or that there was a bad guy at the door, or what her future husband was going to look like and what his background would be. I don't believe in that sort of thing, so every time it happened, I had a hard time not rolling my eyes. Again, this is a personal thing - I know that many people do believe that sort of thing happens, and this would be a great book for them.

But for me...well, I had a hard time finishing the book because of it. I sure did a lot of sighing, let's put it that way.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I initially started this book several years ago, and was so creeped out in the first few chapters that I put it down and picked something else up. I finally finished it--in about a 24 hour period. I couldn't put it down. This was a haunting tale of Melissa, daughter of Keith Jespersen, the Happy Face serial killer. She talks about her life, starting with early (sometimes repressed) memories of her dad torturing and killing small animals, but mostly the happy stories--how her dad always bought her mom roses on their anniversary, the fun games she and her siblings played in their yard, and so on. The story started taking some unhappy turns when her dad kicked her mom and the kids out of his house, started dating random women he met in his profession, and would turn from totally happy to awfully scary in seconds. There were also tales of poverty, cruel kids, rape, abuse, abortion...the list goes on.

This woman amazingly conquered so much. It's a great story of hope, courage, acceptance, and forgiveness. But, be warned--some of the stories are a bit graphic. However, this is a book I would want my young teenager daughter to read, to prepare her for adolescence and to remind her of both the good and the bad in the world.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Despite the title and the subject, this is a very uplifting book. The author endured great trauma in her life, with an unprotective mother, an abusive step-father, and a father who became a notorious and twisted serial killer, yet she found strength from a relationship with God, protection through listening to the still, small voice within, and a beautiful life for herself and her children. Friends, extended family, conversion to the LDS church, and participation in Dr. Phil's national television show all contributed to her present joyous life. Now she is an international speaker, and her 10 points of advice at the end of the book include listening to your intution, not keeping horrific secrets, being a chain breaker, finding your joys, etc. Not a really well-written book (several times the names of one person changes from the assumed name of "Benjamin" to the real name of "Jonathan") but you don't really care that much because the topic is so compelling and the truth of the story and the emotion is so gripping. The book is written to bless the lives of other victims of abuse, or relatives of criminals.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book in just one day. Easy to get hooked on. I found Melissa's story to be heart wrenching, yet interesting. I couldn't put it down as I was very drawn into her life and what was going on. I enjoyed the way she told her story. Ultimately its a very sad story and you would think it would be depressing. Somehow though when you read all the abuse and heart ache which is profound you find joy in the overcoming of it all. Knowing that even the worst pain can eventually be overcome. I found it refreshing to read a true victum who took a bad bad situation (that she had no fault in) and made it better. She didn't use her Dad, her Mom, or any of her other bad examples as a reason to not suceed. Her ability to find joy and create a happy life is truly inspiring. It also reminded me that all negative situations still leave us with a choice on how we react. I hope to chose the higher road more often. So glad I found it and read it!

[Chris(tine) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very intriguing book. For those who may be planning the read, be aware of a couple of things.

1) The story is about Melissa's life. It is not a telling of her father's. Although she obviously covers that ground, those portions are superficial in detail (with regard to his activities) and focused more on the reflection of what kind of a man he is and either her relationship or perceived relationship with him as she learned more over the course of her lifetime. If you are looking for a book that discusses details of his crimes, that is not covered in any depth here.

2) As you may expect, there ARE references to animal torture/killings that she witnessed or experienced during her childhood at the hands of her father. I include that notation for those who, like me, wish there were trigger warnings/rating systems to identify cases where animals are harmed before stumbling across them unknowingly. While these episodes in the book (there are just about a half dozen or less), she is careful to tell you enough to understand its impact on her as a child but not detailed enough to make you throw the book against the wall screaming and sobbing. For this, I am appreciative. Those limited details, as she relays them, give you the vision of the monster she saw with little understanding where it came from or what they foreshadowed, but she skirts through it swiftly enough to allow you to move forward without severe trauma to yourself as a reader. If the limited description is still too much, skipping ahead a mere couple of sentences (as I did a few times) is enough to continue without taking the images too deeply to heart (long term).

For those who are interested in this memoir, it is well written and you get a rare glimpse of what it was like for her as a child, living in an impoverished environment, surrounded by dysfunction, much of which she didn't understand or even know until later years. You will feel her discomfort, her questions, her fears just as you will see her strength, her confidence, and her self begin to develop as she matures.

As someone who spent many years studying criminal pathology from high school age through and past my college years, leading me to obtain a degree in Psychology, I considered (for a long time) pursuing a career as in forensic psychology. Despite a change in career path, the field has and will continue to fascinate me. That intrigue is what drew me to this book and I am glad I picked it up.

[J.H. Moncrieff · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's no doubt about it: Melissa Moore had a horrific upbringing.

The surprise, however, is that this was mostly due to her mother, who was a negligent, cold, uncaring woman who married two abusive partners and who was mute as they attacked both her and her children.

Keith Jesperson, the serial killer mentioned in the title, has a minor role to play in Moore's suffering, as he divorces the mother when Moore is still quite young and only drops into her life periodically. However, when he does, he is as manipulative, cruel, and twisted as you'd expect a serial killer to be. The scenes detailing Jesperson's abuse of innocent animals are particularly hard to read.

As terrible as Moore's childhood was, many have suffered worse. As I read through chapter after chapter bemoaning her lack of new school clothes and describing all the friends she spent time with in elementary and high school, I wondered why on earth she wrote this memoir. It certainly doesn't provide any special insight of what it's like to live with a serial killer.

And then, the motive for the book becomes clear: the last quarter, if not more, is an advertisement for religion, in particular the LDS church, and--to a lesser extent--Dr. Phil. It ends with a list of suggestions to follow for an enriched life, including "Find Your Passion" and "Journal." It's a personal thing, but I'm growing more infuriated by people who are convinced God has answered their prayers and given them a new house, etc. What about all the good people who pray and still die of cancer, etc.? Does God not love them as much?

I didn't have a problem with how the book was written, but it definitely rambled and didn't seem to have a clear focus until near the end, and that was the part that was a heavy-handed commercial. If you're curious about what it's like to live with a serial killer, this book won't do much to enlighten you.

That said, my heart does go out to Moore for all she suffered and I think she's incredibly brave to have been able to survive so much tragedy and turn her life around.

[Darcia Helle · Rating 5 out of 5]

We often hear about the victims of brutal crimes. Newscasters tell us stories about their families and how they are suffering from the loss of their loved ones. Occasionally we get the inside story on a serial killer made famous by sensationalism. We’re told the gory details of his (or her) crimes and we attempt to delve into their minds to learn the why behind the behavior. However, it isn’t often that we hear from the family of the serial murderer. Rarely do we even consider what their lives must have been like.

Melissa Moore, daughter of the “Happy Face” killer, gives us that inside scoop. Melissa bravely shares an intensely personal story of what life was like for her and her family. We see this serial murderer through the eyes of a young girl who wants nothing more than her daddy’s love.

This book is an easy read, sort of like we’re sitting with Melissa as she confides in us. Her father puts the family through horrible psychological abuse while her mother stands by and allows it. I found her mother’s indifference appalling. Melissa had virtually no one to turn to. Whatever you may think of this book, it would be impossible not to walk away without immense respect for Melissa Moore.

[Nat PlainJanetheBookworm · Rating 3 out of 5]

I finished Shattered Silence yesterday and liked it better. The first quarter was very slow, and I found her descriptions and vocabulary for an alleged 5 year old improbable. So that had me feeling pretty incredulous. But once she stated getting old I enjoyed it more, although it feel more like a biography on her life rather than her life with her father. Granted there was more talk of this once she turned 15/16 and then it felt like it was smashed out in three-ish chapters. I didn’t find her accounts to be very in depth which would have made for a richer more authentic account but, how much do you want to divulge when it turns out your father was pretty much incapable of functioning more than on animal type basis. The way she describe led him in the time prior to him ‘disappearing’ from her life to how he acted after his arrest was vastly different which was intriguing. Yes there’s animal torture in there mostly at the beginning , but considering It’s is a true crime, and we are dealing with a personality disordered individual, no surprise. Overall, I enjoyed it but compared to other similar accounts from family members with SK’s I’d give it a 3.5 ⭐️

[Judy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Page 184, paragraph 2: "Most of the homes were tiny and in need of care. Several had "fixer-upper" cars lined up in the yard, waiting for repairs that would never come; tall grass was growing through the spokes of the tires. Discarded trash had blown into the bushes..."

I don't think the book was well-written and the first few chapters I found boring. I didn't really care about the author's average life. Her father's violence to the kittens seemed to be an aberration, and not really related to anything else at first.

The author was ambivalent toward her father, and that is understandable. The book became more interesting to me, and I stopped skimming and started reading it a few chapters in.

I also felt that the author (like most of us) tried to explain the wrong decisions she had made as victimization (she was more of a victim than a person who was responsible). I think we all tend to do that. We are all victims and we are all victimizers.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is probably not for everyone but I related to Melissa's memories/feelings of her parents' divorce very much. It was actually kind of eery to me as she explained her emotions during that time in her life because I realized that she was putting some of my "growing up memories" into words for me. If you are not in the mood to read about a child's point of view of this type of change in her life, along with much abuse and hurt, and how she has overcome these negative influences, I would still suggest reading just her words of wisdom at the back of the book. She sums up what she has learned into ten suggestions on how to get past negative feelings, especially about one's past, and be able to have a positive, healthy life. Very insightful!

[Stacy · Rating 1 out of 5]

i should have known better when i accidentally turned to the back and saw "dr phil" - i cannot stand oprah endorsed books simply because they have no literary value whatsoever. anyway, back to this particular book. the focus is not on being a daughter of a serial killer, the focus is on moving, not getting all of the clothes she wants, hating her stepfather (who is a real jacka$$), getting knocked up, getting an abortion, "finding god", finding a friend, and getting sucked into mormon religion despite her husbands seeming willingness to get away from it. and of course, a dr phil retreat. i just saved a few hours out of your life.

[Amber · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't finish this book. At page 32, I realized this book could easily be skimmed through (though I didn't even waste my time doing that). It's incredibly boring with the beginning focusing on moments of her very young childhood (Are these moments even accurate? How many detailed memories do people have when they are 5 years old?) where she has 'sinking feelings' which allude to some kind of premonition of the future.

I love true crime novels but after attempting to read three different personal narrative novels, I can safely say I hate true crime memoirs.

[Lisa Chellis · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was a tedious and self-indulgent meander through the entire childhood of a serial killer's daughter. She had a fairly awful childhood but not so different from many people with emotionally inept parents. Ok, so the serial killer dad is extreme but she doesn't know about that until she's a teen and dad is long gone by then.
A shout out has to be made to the editor. I'm guessing there were a lot of suggested revisions that were rejected by the author who thought her skills were better than they were.

[Martha · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have to say I was pretty underwhelmed by this book. The author did have an interesting and pretty tragic childhood which made it interesting to read. It was an interesting insight into a serial killer's world through his daughter. I was puzzled by the amount of detail given to her early life. Perhaps because I have such a foggy memory, I can't imagine anyone remembering that much of their early childhood.

[Tara Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

Slow. Picked up at middle. Poorly written. Unanswered questions, jumpy, built up to nothing, chapters felt unfinished. However, Positive message. Doesn't really have much to do with the serial killings as much as just a story bout a shitty upbringing and overcoming that. I am happy for her but I cld tell you her story in about 5 minutes and save you the trouble of reading the book.

[Kristen Doherty · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can't imagine being a daughter to a serial killer.She had a terrible childhood...glad she is having a good life now