Written by a specialist in dealing with trauma, The Age of Overwhelm: Strategies for the Long Haul is a slender volume which applies the lessons learned in dealing with unthinkable situations to the systemic feelings of anxiety, depletion, dissatisfaction, fatigue, and restlessness permeating modern society. As with all such volumes, some of the work is descriptive and some of it is prescriptive. It was beneficial to me to read it, but there were many times when I felt it was too general to be useful to me.
That being established, there were many descriptions and observations which gave me insight, comfort, or a necessary challenge. I think part of my discomfort with the book was Laura van Dernoot Lipsky’s tendency to lump larger global and social problems into the mix of personal betterment and healing. She’s right to acknowledge that meeting a small need here and there is a start to a solution just like changing a small behavior here and there is a start to personal development. Yet, it seemed like too much of the book was considering enough of a larger scope that it becomes difficult to target what one earnestly needs to fix individually.
Perhaps, then, the key to overcoming the feeling of being overwhelmed is to create a pause, an interrupt, that enables one to feel even a moment of control where one can identify at least the feeling if not the problem. As our author writes, “Sometimes all it takes is helping someone acknowledge this is what overwhelm looks like.” (p. 18) Even in her introduction, she described how her younger daughter paused a heated conversation by saying, “I just need a minute.” And literally, just by getting everyone to be quiet and to take a chance to think, she was able to recalibrate and turn an emotional exchange into something that could be resolved (p. 7). Toward the end of the book, she expressed it rather succinctly: “If it’s a small break you need to keep on keeping on, give yourself some time and space to Just. Do. Nothing. Step out for a minute.” (p. 144)
Of course, for some people, the question may be why one should even be concerned about being overwhelmed. After all, isn’t it just our natural circumstance? No, it isn’t. As the book quotes Dr. Scott Woodruff, Director of the Anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Treatment Program at the American Institute for Cognitive Therapy, warns: “Excessive worry can lead to fatigue, lack of concentration, and muscle tightness.” (p. 49) The book goes on to explain how even our basic fight or flight response, intended to assist us in emergencies, works against us when the stress, pressure, and too much stimulus keeps us on a razor’s edge or hair trigger for too long (p. 56).
So, what can we do about it? After all, one surely picks up a book like The Age of Overwhelm: Strategies for the Long Haul to find some solutions. Frankly, the most helpful advice to me comes both early and late in the book. Early on, the author gives a solution to breaking the “overwhelm” pattern by “metabolizing.” That seemed easier said than done till she explained that metabolizing consists of two parts: 1) Catabolism or breaking apart (ie. Getting perspective on the problem) and 2) Anabolism or building up necessary nutrients for repair and growth (which, in turn, ties into the late advice in the next sentence - p. 54). How do we build up those nutrients? Be open to something new! “It is never too late to start a new practice, merging the reality of insight about who you are – with an understanding of all you’ve got going on – with awareness of the choices you can make to sustain for the long haul. Do something. Every day.” (p. 153)
I loved the emphasis on the gratitude response. “When we feel gratitude, parts of our brain involved in feelings of bonding and connectedness are activated, and we release neurochemicals like dopamine and serotonin.” (p. 83) No wonder being thankful makes us feel better. And, though it wasn’t new to me, I liked being reminded that: “Without sleep, the brain is unable to clear out toxins and clean the fluid in neuron channels at the rate necessary to maintain high-functioning, day-to-day activity.” (p. 99) Gratitude is definitely a part of the solution to the negativity bias mentioned earlier in the book: “A human’s nervous system evolved what neuroscientists call a negativity bias, which throughout our day scans for bad news, and then our brain hones in on whatever feels like a perceived threat. While the process did, and still can, help our immediate survival, it is unhelpful for our overall well-being.” (p. 71)
Something I had never actually considered before was the value of humility for emotional well-being. I want to remember: “Humility allows us to be good at something and still be open to all that we have yet to learn. Preserving our willingness and capacity to be corrected or surprised keeps us flexible, lets us experience the satisfaction of learning something new, and helps us avoid the trap of binary thinking.” (p. 111) Of course, that connects nicely with her quotation of a line from Sen. Cory Booker’s commencement address to the Class of 2017 at the University of Pennsylvania: “We can never allow our inability to do everything to undermine our determination to do something.” (p. 114)
The Age of Overwhelm: Strategies for the Long Haul wasn’t the book I was expecting, but part of it was the book I needed.