The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness

by Bari Tessler

Awarded the 2016 Nautilus Silver Medal for Personal Growth!

This is the book your money–savvy best friend, therapist, and accountant would write if they could. It’s the book about money for people who don’t even want to think about money, until the arrival of that inevitable day when we all realize we must come to terms with this thing called money.

Everyone has pain and challenges, strengths and dreams about money, and many of us mix profound shame into that relationship. In The Art of Money, Bari Tessler offers an integrative approach that creates the real possibility of "money healing," using our relationship with money as a gateway to self–awareness and a training ground for compassion, confidence, and self–worth.

Tessler’s gentle techniques weave together emotional depth, big picture visioning, and refreshingly accessible, nitty–gritty money practices that will help anyone transform their relationship with money and, in so doing, transform their life. As Bari writes, "When we dare to speak the truth about money, amazing healing begins."

Genres: Nonfiction, Money, Finance, Personal Finance, Self Help, Business, Psychology

296 pages, Paperback

First published July 12, 2016

About the author

Bari Tessler, M.A. is a Financial Therapist and a pioneer in the Financial Therapy field. She has a Masters degree in Somatic Psychology from Naropa University, 1998. She then ran a bookkeeping business for therapists and artists. In 2001, she merged all her training and created a somatic-based Financial Therapy methodology that she has been teaching for 23 years. She is also the founder of The Art of Money, a year-long money school and a Mentor Program for therapists, coaches and financial professionals.

Bari is the Author of two books: The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness and The Art of Money Workbook. Her work has been featured on Oprah.com, Inc.com, US News & World Report, Reuters Money, The Fiscal Times, USA Today, The Cut, Girlboss, Nerd Wallet, Real Simple, MindBodyGreen, and REDBOOK. She has also been featured on the cover of Experience Life and Mindful. Bari loves to read, dance and enjoy dark chocolate. She lives in Boulder, CO with her husband, son, many cats + a big puppy. You can find her here: baritessler.com

Reviews

[Caroline Donahue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing. I never thought I'd describe a personal finance book as a page turner, but I could not put this down. I've known Bari Tessler for years, taken her courses and she is an incredible resource. Every time I connect with her my life is the better for it. Anyone who interacts with money in any way will want to read this. The best part is the book's ability to motivate without scaring you. There are many issues around money that can be scary- it may be the most loaded topic of all- but reading this will have you sighing with relief. There is another way to feel about money. Read this and find out!

[Miri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very unique personal finance book. Tessler's approach blends mindfulness, practical info, and a lot of emotional work to help people understand where their patterns and feelings around money come from and how to change them. The spirituality-ish aspects didn't really appeal to me, but don't let that deter you--there's still a lot you can pull out of that (and for what it's worth, it's totally secular). Her approach is very practical and allows you to choose your own values and priorities when it comes to money; other books very much preach Reduce Spending or Pay Off Debt Now or Invest In Stocks or Become A Millionaire And Retire By 30 (ew). Her therapy background probably informs her focus on reframing and renaming the money stuff in your life, especially in ways that make it easier to manage debt or expenses.

I definitely recommend this book to anyone at any income level--although keep in mind that because very poor clients typically cannot afford Tessler's financial therapy services, few of their stories are featured in the book. That doesn't mean that the approach she describes doesn't apply to them, though.

[Cori · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a heartfelt, deep book about money. It helps you dig deep into your own behavior and suss out your goals. It’s not a practical money book in the sense that it tells you how to manage your money, but rather a foundation that sets you up to do just that. I got an incredible amount of value from this book - recommended!

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bari Tessler takes a mindful and compassionate approach to thinking about our relationships with money. She discusses how money is emotional and closely tied to our deeply held values, and presents a number of exercises and practices you can do to gently become more comfortable thinking about money and relating to it in this way. Some of her practices are based in her somatic (body-based) therapy experience, which resonated with me as it was familiar from therapy work I've done. The book is simultaneously a practical, down-to-earth guide to working with personal finances and a helpful companion to guiding you through the anxieties, shame, joy, and other emotions that may come up as you do money work. I really appreciated this balance -- it truly felt like it was sitting down with your money-savvy best friend, as one of the cover quotes says. At the end I found myself wishing I could meet her and have her as my friend!

The main reason I am not giving the book five stars is that it had a strong bias towards people who struggle to make ends meet and entrepreneurs. The majority of the examples (including her personal ones) are from people living paycheck-to-paycheck as they try to get their own business ideas off the ground. This bias is understandable since that's what her own experience is and what she focuses her money therapy practice on. However, it didn't speak to me since I am neither an entrepreneur nor living paycheck-to-paycheck. Some of the particular things I struggle with around money were not as well addressed by the content of the book (although I was certainly able to work on them using the exercises she provides).

Overall I definitely recommend The Art of Money! I became more comfortable with my relationship to money and started some new money practices as a result of reading this book and doing the exercises.

[Phobean]

Had this book out from the library for 3 months and only made it 50 pages in. A stalled effort. I think maybe it was the body check in, even though I'm not opposed to that idea. Sometimes, even though I subscribe to ideas around mindfulness and embodiment, things hit for me in a way that feels appropriative. I mean, these ideas are often. borrowed from non-white cultures and adapted for white, Western audiences --so yeah. I didn't know how to feel about that. There's also a 'so you just started thinking about your money' frame to this book that's not true for me. I've been thinking about money for a long, long time. Particularly about how inequality is sewn all through my life, as the great granddaughter of Africans who were enslaved. I don't want to sink into physical connection with that any more than I have to, since it's inescapable. So. Mmm. I'm good. I'm sure these ideas will be super helpful for others.

[Maia Duerr · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The Art of Money" ranks right up there for me along with another book that has been pivotal in transforming my relationship with money -- "The Energy of Money" by Maria Nemeth. Both books are full of practical guidance but even more importantly they draw out the energetic and spiritual dimensions of money. To me, this is a necessary ingredient in order to make not just a superficial change, but a lasting transformation.

@Bari Tessler's book feels like having an intimate conversation about a sometimes-scary topic with a good friend. I appreciate how 'real' she is in this book. I found the "Money Maps" especially helpful in tackling some longtime and thorny financial challenges for myself.

Highly recommended.

[Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review to come. I picked up this book last year as a recommendation in the realm of personal finance and it was one of the best/most unique guides in the topic that I've picked up. It's equal parts practical financial management guide and mindfulness/wellness guide. I need to mull over a few points but my overall score might be between 4 stars and 4.5 for this. Technically my first completed read of the year.

[Trista · Rating 5 out of 5]

A whole new way to think about your relationship with money. Everyone should read this book.

[Shannon Buck · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m still on my quest to learn more about different aspects of finances, and was overjoyed to read Bari Tessler’s book The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness. Bari is the creator of the global, year-round program The Art of Money, and she uses a caring, conversational writing style to guide us through the book so we can learn all about our financial situations. All this, she does gently.

“Money… is about our relationship with ourselves.”~ Bari Tessler

To begin, Bari takes creatives and non creatives on a money journey in Eight Money Areas:

Clarity
Intimacy
Knowledge
Ease and Peace of Mind
Success
Value
Hope
Support

Then she takes you through the Three Phases of Deep Money Work:

Money Healing – Money shame is a real thing, but you can learn not to practice it with body check-ins, healing rituals, and other important tools.
Money Practices – Self-care is important in money work. Bari Takes you through how to connect on a spiritual level with your money practice, and teaches about value-based bookkeeping. (I’m loving this!)
Money Maps – Here is where you create your money map and your money legacy.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, picking it up to read any time I had a few minutes to spare. I went through the money healing rituals, that guided me through important things that were hindering my ability to have a good relationship with money. (And I still use them!) This step helps to clear the way for more money work as I progress through the book, and I’m not done yet.

I learned that there are three levels of money practice: Emotional, psychological, and physical-spiritual, about the five myths of forgiveness, and about the types of money healing.

Bari also offers a resource section in the back of the book, so you can learn more about living the financial life you want.

Money healing can take time, but I know I’ll get there. So will you!

[Lauren Sapala · Rating 5 out of 5]

I say this in all seriousness: This book changed my life.

I have never felt comfortable with money. I’ve always felt confusion, fear, and shame around earning money, spending money, saving money, and receiving money. About a year ago I decided that it was time to get my act together and so I started reading personal finance books, but every book I read seemed to increase my shame and make me even more confused.

Enter Bari Tessler.

I’m still not even sure how I found her—I think through a random Google search, but really I think the Universe placed her right in front of me and nudged me toward her website and then this book. Regardless of how I found her, I had no idea that people existed out there who are doing the kind of work she’s doing. This is a money method that is built EXACTLY for people like me. It combines emotion, spirituality, healthy conscious choice, and JOY, and applies all of these things to money. For the first time in my life, I feel like, “YES, I can actually DO this money thing!!!”

I am buying this book for every single one of my women friends and gifting it as a birthday present for the next year. It is THAT good.

And I can do that because I am now pretty dang good at managing my money. Thank you Bari!!!

[Kristy Lin Billuni · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will cherish this book, mark it up and fold the corners on favorite pages. I know for certain, I'll give it as a conversation-referencing gift many times in years to come because I have so many meaningful conversations with loved ones about money. You can read or share it in pieces. The chapter on values-based bookkeeping, for example, could be an interesting alternative starting point. The book overflows with practical resources, like questions to ask before you hire a bookkeeper, accountant, or financial advisor and a spectacular, comprehensive further-reading list. It will serve as a resource book on my shelf over time. I will come back to it whenever I need support.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're looking for specific tactics or strategies around earning, saving or investing, this might not be the best book. However, lots of good lessons on healing our relationship to money. It's a book I would share with a friend who is looking to dig deeper and not looking for a quick fix.

[Meighan O'Toole · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars - This book helped me to really rethink how I approach money. Tessler is filled with empathy and compassion, and she just seems like a lovely person. Someone you really want to make proud. I think one of the biggest a-ha! moments for me in the book is how she discusses values and how they should be weaved into spending, saving, giving, etc. This was pretty groundbreaking to me! Which may seem crazy to some. But money has always eluded me, and its always felt like it was meant to be spent. But as I have read more and more on money, and as Tessler shares in her book, there's so much more to engage with around how you use money in your life. Tessler infuses spirtuality, empathy, sensitivity, and behavioral grounding techniques (her Body Checkins were something really great to see in the book).

As a small business owner, I sincerely appreciate how she approaches her own business and found that incredibly unique. She lives within her values and morals and it's incredible to see that take place around money. It's inspiring!

I would have given the book 4 stars, but I felt like it went on for a little too long. If it had ended earlier, I would have been on fire for it. But I felt like it dragged on a bit towards the end. The stories and anecdotes were interesting in so much as they framed her strategies, but they went on a little long and towards the end, I skipped over a few 😬. The Money Maps chapter was fascinating to me and gave me a new view of how I could reframe spending. But I would have loved to have seen examples to help me visualize them. I'm not quite sure how they work together and it was hard to get my head around them.

Overall though, this will be a book I come back to time and time again as I continue to work on my own money stuff, and I will for sure recommend it to other people who want to change their relationship with money in a deeper way.

[Carina · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Art of Money is a book where the good stuff happens right on the first pages. I don´t like to scribble in my books and prefer to keep them in pristine shape. But never has the urge been stronger than when reading Bari Tessler´s Art of Money! On page ten I was jumping in my sofa almost on my way to get a pen. This is definitely a book that you want to take notes and ponder upon when reading. Not only because of the exercises in it, but because it sets you mind rolling.

I have never been fond of 5 steps to anything and that is also one of the many reasons why I loved this book. It is deep and yet due to the stories Bari is weaving in to her teachings it does not feel heavy. Right in the beginning Bari writes “Money isn´t just about the numbers, it´s also about our relationship with ourselves”. That pretty much sums it all up and explains why the take on money Bari has in her book, is so much more interesting and more profound than books only focusing on the tactics. Bari will give you both worlds, the inner stuff (healing old money stories) and the outer stuff (different money practices).
Take your time, this is book to indulge in and a whole new world of body check-ins, money healing, value-based bookkeeping and money maps will open up for you. Enjoy!

During these 7 years that I have been devouring myself in the online world, there are a few significant persons that have had a greater impact on me and what I do today. The kind of persons I would love to meet in real life and give a hug and thank them for being such an inspiration.
Bari Tessler is definitely one of them. She was the one who played a part in me daring to hold my first group program in my living room together with another woman. She was the one who got me to understand that you can combine two things that seemingly has nothing to do with each other and incorporate them in your business.

[Ross Mitchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked the financial therapy part, which is the first half or so of the book, much more than the nuts and bolts budgeting part. I appreciate the author's emphasis on empathy through people's money journey. We're unprepared for this. We'll mess up. Also, I enjoyed her focus on how everyone has a money story; the pain, the joy, the learning. Give space for it when it shows up.

Notable lines from the book:

Berating herself for not being savvier about money was an old, ingrained pattern that felt helpful but actually kept her stuck.

We project like crazy onto money.

"Money is like the dirt on your hands--brush it off before it clings to you."

Every lot in life affords its own set of challenges and gifts... It is up to each one of us to do something with what we've been given.

While our minds may race, our bodies are always in the present moment. Turning into the body, then, helps us feel more physical and emotional stability and balance... The somatic term for this feeling-safe-in-your-own-body-no-matter-what's-happening is "self regulation."

Mistakes are amazing. They are ripe learning opportunities, and often redirect us to our true gifts and the right route for us. Milk them. Keep fine-tuning,

Be willing to be uncomfortable... the number one prerequisite to making more money is the willingness to be uncomfortable.

Things... don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together and fall apart again... The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen. (quoting Pema Chodron)

[List intrinsic assets. Stick with it until you get to ten.]

[Cecily Robertson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned two very different money philosophies from my father and grandmother as a kid, and neither of them have felt right for me in adulthood. Something I’ve learned over and over again is that you don’t have to do life the way everyone else does. That’s why The Art of Money resonated with me many times throughout reading. Tessler really encourages you to approach your financial strategies from an emotional place—to take a look at the money beliefs you inherited, let go of what’s not working, and create your own money story. She views money as a gateway to self-awareness, healing, and confidence. Super refreshing.

I found the format of the book really helpful—beginning with healing, working through the nuts and bolts of budgeting, and then outlining your big-picture money mapping. It’s set up for you to take your time and fully work through each exercise before moving on to the next.

I would recommend this specifically for free-spirited or artistic types, creative entrepreneurs and the self-employed, or anyone who feels disconnected from their finances.

(Also, side note: 5 stars not because it’s an all-time favorite book—it’s still about personal finance—but because it definitely delivers on its promise.)

[Jen (bookscoffeedogs)]

I found this one ok. Helpful in some ways and also not necessarily laden with practical ideas. Because I know quite a few people with very similar backgrounds and education some of it just felt not as eye opening as I was hoping as someone who does practice some of these thought processes yet can’t seem to include them into the money realm. Overall ok book. Interesting take on finances. Might be more helpful to people unfamiliar with her processes. I am not more clear yet on my finances after reading, and am afraid to do the part where you write down your needs, comfortable, ultimate life charts. Ugh. Right now ultimate seems so far away I don’t even want to know the impossibility of it all. Which means I am avoiding and not sitting with the fear of having to let go of dreams. Or maybe the fear of reaching them.

[Becca Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I HATE talking about money. Financial spreadsheets make me feel nauseated. Money brings up so many feelings about self-worth and personal responsibility for me, as I internalized at an early age that I wasn’t “good with money” and I probably never will be. When my therapist recommended this book to me, I was skeptical. But there was something about her values-based approach to finance that really resonated with me. Money doesn’t have to be separate from our creativity and our emotions, and budgeting is about more than just beating our desires into submission. By the time I finished this book, I had taken some small steps down this journey, and I hope to make it a lifelong practice. I will be spending my money this month on multiple copies of this book to share with friends.

[Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I was first told about the "elephant in the room," my first reaction was... "Okay, what other crazy stuff is she going to come up with?" I didn't think I was uncomfortable with self-love, but I guess that when it comes to money, which I get really excited about (especially when it comes to research and planning), I'm not really worried about being kind to myself because it seems kind to myself to simply be playing around with possibilites. By the end though, I could see some of her points. I am planning on using her three tiers of living and doing a few of the exercises.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a different take on the basic finance book and focuses more on your feelings and emotions surrounding what can be an inherently emotional topic. It was interesting to look at it from a perspective that I don't normally engage with but ultimately contained a lot of the same information I've found in other sources, just packaged differently. For someone who is not analytical about money, this could be a great approach with lots of actionable tips and tricks. For those analytical types, this book is perhaps not a useful resource.

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was not loving this to start with, because I'd never heard of a financial therapist and thought it would be a really American book. However it was a good read, lots of real-life stories and methods of managing your money and your happiness. Everything in this book had a purpose, and all methods the author gave were clearly stated to be used if it works for you only.

Lots of recommendations at the end too - I'm off now to read the book about having a financial discussion with your child about the Easter Bunny, can't wait!

[Curt Matzenbacher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Best book on money that I've read, in that it attempts an embodied, mindful, therapeutic approach. My one major complaint is that it never *overtly* confronts how capitalism is at the root of the trauma she says all the people she works with have, and how much we've all internalized those values. It borders on it at several points, but I continue to feel concern that if we're not making a systemic critique head-on and empowering others to make changes to the underlying systems, we're just doing symptom management / capitalism patchwork.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall an interesting read written by a financial therapist. The prose was a little overly-sentimental and contrived for my taste at times, but the message of becoming fully aware and accepting of your inherited/formed attitudes around money and aligning your spending, saving, and earning with your personal values (as opposed to what others say you “should” do) was a nice shift from typical financial advice. My personal takeaways are a changed attitude toward the money I choose to spend, and permission to release my shame/embarrassment about not knowing more about finances in general.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Bari explains ways to check in with your body and making sure you are grounded and creating a container that allows you to consciously make decisions about your finances. She also has great tips and ideas for how to think about money differently. I believe language can be very powerful in the way it shapes our mental models and I really appreciated the language changes she writes about uses in this work. It has changed the way I think about and deal with money.

[Cynthia Nicola · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good read. I really liked Tessler's idea of renaming your budget category positively. If I have a credit card debt that I used to help someone I love, instead of just naming it credit cards I could name it helping loved ones to help me focus on the positive part of why I have the debt. She suggested things like Italian adventure for credit card debt on a trip and student loans were something about lifelong learning I think. I am going to try this idea.

[A.M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think I heard her in the Secret Library podcast back in 2016 when this came out, and it was in my wish list since then. So, I was so pleased to find it in the Audible Plus catalogue for free. YES!!!

She has kind of combined parts therapy with financial advice. That kind of money attraction Secret stuff always feels so off to me, but this digs in to WHY you end up a sweaty mess when you have to do your taxes. You know?

Worth a listen.

4 stars

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book runs you through the basics of personal bookkeeping and budgeting. Bari Tessler is trained in somatic therapy so she has a definite feminine, body & feeling- centered approach to wrangling with the oft-avoided topic of personal finances. For anyone needing a softer, gentler approach to finance, this may be the book for you.

[Liz Norell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book wasn't as personally helpful as I might have hoped, but I suspect that's because I've been doing similar work in other areas for such a long time. I recommend this to anyone who feels overwhelm and fear around their relationship with money. It's not a tough-love book at all, and Bari Tessler openly shares her own experiences to normalize what so many of us feel.

[Kathleen Langton-Kiyak · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book into our emotions surrounding money and how to create a different and better relationship with it.

There was a lot of tangible advice with personal stories weaved in that area very relatable.

I am excited to start my money map and start deeper conversations with my husband around our views of money.

[Sara Wright · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this. It started out okay, but then I just got bogged down by lots of words and lack of practical tips. It's extremely touchy feely - which I guess is the point. But I needed to do my own thinking, not spend loads of time reading about other people's thinking.

But then again, I didn't finish it - YMMV