Communication: Key to Your Marriage: A Practical Guide to Creating a Happy, Fulfilling Relationship

by H. Norman Wright

Many specialists in family relations say the number-one problem in marriages today is not sex, money or children, but lack of communication between husband and wife. H. Norman Wright tackles this dilemma in the Christian book on couples communication. Presenting insightful ways to reduce marital conflict, manage anger, build one another's self-esteem and just plain listen to one another, Wright provides couples with the resources to understand each other at new and deeper levels. Ideal for married and pre-married couples, counselors, lay counselors, mentors and pastors, this classic has been fully revised and updated for marriages in the new millennium.

Genres: Marriage, Christian, Counselling, Nonfiction, Relationships, Family, Self Help

257 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2000

About the author

H. Norman Wright is a well-respected Christian counselor who has helped thousands of people improve their relationships and deal with grief, tragedy, and other concerns. He helps couples bring vibrancy to their relationships through counseling, seminars, and more than 90 books, including Before You Say “I Do” and After You Say “I Do.” Norm also reveals insights for spiritual growth, great relationships, and success in devotionals that include Strong to the Core, Quiet Times for Every Parent, and Truly Devoted: What Dogs Teach Us About Life, Love, and Loyalty. www.hnormanwright.com

Reviews

[Peter Peters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on marriage and explains conflict resolution in a powerful way

[Jonathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 A Christian marriage book from the ‘70s? I certainly have a prejudice that assumes that people didn’t really understand marriage relationships 35 years ago, and that such a book would be unhelpful to me. But our marriage counselor handed us a copy (the cover looked as dated as the copyright would imply), so we went ahead and read it together. To my surprise, it really was quite useful. Yes, the language and the examples are often dated, and the book could benefit today’s audience better with an updating. But the principles are sound and challenging, and my wife and I were able to get practical wisdom from reading the book even though we’ve already read a number of marriage books in the past. The focus on communication really does address the central issue in marriage. Most helpful are the consistent practical questions for you and your spouse to work through together. Even though these were annoying when I just wanted to finish the book, they really did force me to slow down and apply what I had just read to my own relationship. Even if you got nothing from the text of the book, I think it would be impossible to get nothing from working those questions together with your spouse.

Also, I should note that the first three chapters were probably the least helpful and the most likely to cause disagreements with the author. I wouldn’t judge the book by those three chapters – the material in chapters 4-10 is more practical and less likely to be disputed. If you’re one of those people who don’t like the first three chapters though, don’t skip them – there is essential good stuff there. Just make your way through them, benefit from the stuff you agree with and ignore the rest, and know that there are more agreeable chapters ahead.

[Shahab Y-achille · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really breaks down in depth a lot of aspects of communication in a very comprehensive manner. Nothing overly scientific or hard to understand he just makes you question yourself a lot . The author will give examples and scenarios of miscommunication , identify the problem , find the solution and put you on the spot with a question that forces you to look deep down within yourself . This book helped me identify a lot of the communication flaws I have and how I could fine tune it to enhance my interpersonal relationships . It’s a must read for everyone .

[B · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has great communication insights between husband & wife. I learned a lot about my spouse & how our differences are not wrong, just different. I couldn't give the book a higher rating though because of the numerous Bible translations referenced including The Message (which is NOT a translation, but a paraphrase) and the Amplified Bible.

[Gerald Thomson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Though written in the 70s, and certainly coming across a bit dated, this book still has plenty to offer in regards to relational communication. The book is fairly basic, so if you have been exposed to tools and pitfalls in the past, this may only be a refresher. If you feel lost when it comes to communicating with your partner, this book may have some answers for you.

[Byron Flores · Rating 4 out of 5]

Podría decir que es 3.5 de 4 pero es un libro sencillo y práctico con principios para un buen matrimonio pero no debemos olvidar que la única forma de tenerlo es viendo al único perfecto que con su sangre nos salvo y nos ayuda a apagar nuestro corazón egoísta.

[Shannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

MBTI connections for marriage

This is a good book for those who enjoy the concepts found within MBTI personality profiles. The book starts off like other marriage books but then takes a stiff turn into making the distinction between different personality types via MBTI.

[Will · Rating 4 out of 5]

For the first 200 pages of this book it is one of the best relationship books I have read so far. I have a problem with communication, my wife has been kind and patient with me as I work on it. When I found this book I hoped it would have some of the answers I wanted and needed to find.

It approached a lot of issues from a different angle, and I appreciated that. It looked at common conflicts and for the most part rather than trying to analyze them, or me, it looked at the symptoms of the issue. This book did not spend a lot of time mentioning all the problems in the masculine, and all the solutions in the feminine. It simply addressed a person's own uniqueness and I liked that.

The part I enjoyed the most is about a 60 page exploration of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator... My wife explored this with me early in our relationship, yet I never really understood it. This book gave insights into each type of person and showed how there are different dialects with our personalities. In some ways when I've thought, "why isn't someone understanding me?", I can now look at this tool and see why my message may have been very unclear to the person hearing it.

The last part of the book is meant to be serious... it's about conflict and conflict resolution in a marriage. It focuses on how silence is doing just as much harm as violence is in many relationships. While I appreciate the author's attempts at some different ideas of conflict resolution, many simply had me laughing out loud at the thought of even trying some of these out. In one case you use flags of different colors to show your calm level or anger level... now in some relationships when it gets to the red (duck and cover anger level) I can see someone taking the flag and planting it in their partner's backside... in my mind that might mean the end of the argument in a non-traditional and not very productive way.

Also, I am not one who agrees with "time out" when it comes to kids, and I am certainly not going to try something similar to that with my wife or myself in the middle of a major disagreement.

While I say that, I do believe in the overall point... keep the lines of communication open, and how you communicate may not be the most effective with your partner. It's not because they are inferior or superior to you, they are just different, and as the author does point out... aren't those differences what originally attracted you to that person in the first place.

I give this book four stars... however the true rating from this book should come from my wife and any improvement she sees and more importantly hears as a result.

[Bethany · Rating 3 out of 5]

Found this in my mom's bookcase and decided to give it a read. Once I got past the introductory chapters, I found much of it to be interesting. I can see this helping many couples although I'm not sure I learned anything I didn't already know.

[Jonathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the very good resources my wife and I use when we counsel with couples regarding their marriage.

[Rick Abbott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read through this book a couple of times. It should be required reading for those who are married and want to make it work.

[Read1000books · Rating 3 out of 5]

Every little bit helps.

[Sandy Smith]

A useful guide about conflicts, feelings and anxiety or worry.