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Raising Rosie
When their daughter Rosie was born, Eric and Stephani Lohman found themselves thrust into a situation they were not prepared for. Rosie was born intersex, a term that describes people who are born with a variety of physical characteristics that do not fit neatly into traditional conceptions about male and female bodies. Rosie's parents were pressured to consent to normalizing surgery on Rosie, without being offered any alternatives despite their concerns.
Part memoir, part guidebook, this powerful book tells the authors' experience of refusing to have Rosie operated on and how they raised a child who is intersex. The book looks at how they spoke about the condition to friends and family, to Rosie's teachers and caregivers, and shows how they plan on explaining it to Rosie when she is older. This uplifting and empowering story is a must read for all parents of intersex children.
Part memoir, part guidebook, this powerful book tells the authors' experience of refusing to have Rosie operated on and how they raised a child who is intersex. The book looks at how they spoke about the condition to friends and family, to Rosie's teachers and caregivers, and shows how they plan on explaining it to Rosie when she is older. This uplifting and empowering story is a must read for all parents of intersex children.
192 pages, Paperback
First published July 19, 2018
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203 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
August 12, 2021
I do not have an Intersex child. I was, however, one of those children who underwent gender/sex changing surgeries once as an infant before I was sixteen months old and a second surgery when I was five+ years old. For my second surgery I was told I had a hernia and spent a week in the hospital (I did not have a hernia). I have few memories of this event, but have had help from doctors from California to Vermont piece it all together. Some memories have returned most in the last two years. My family has been told ( the rest of you who are my friends as goodreads readers can ask your parents for details) who I am.
So, yes, this is an important book along with all the other Intersex books I have read and rated. There will be more to come. Hope they will make as big an impact as these, and this one, have done.
So, yes, this is an important book along with all the other Intersex books I have read and rated. There will be more to come. Hope they will make as big an impact as these, and this one, have done.
December 31, 2020
Incredibly illuminating.
The title may sway you to think this is only for prospective parents, but the authors state that they also wish to inform lawmakers, doctors, nurses, family members of prospective parents, etc. -- ie. anyone who may have an impact on intersex rights or a direct connection to intersex individuals. Their hope is to illuminate the issues with intersex genital mutilation (IGM) on infants -- a (usually) cosmetic surgery that many intersex individuals grow to resent as adults because they a) were unable to consent b) were not told they were intersex growing up and c) often have to suffer through a lifetime of follow-up surgeries or have other medical complications as a result of that genital surgery as an infant.
I read this book after reading The Spectrum of Sex: The Science of Male, Female, and Intersex and it was definitely a good follow-up. Where Spectrum of Sex tells us that parents are often coerced into consenting to IGM for their infants, Raising Rosie shows us exactly how this coercion occurs.
Mainly, it is surgeons recommending the surgery because of heteronormative ideas of how the child will probably hate their life if they're not "corrected" into the male/female binary. I say "ideas" because they really don't have any evidence to back up their claims. I won't repeat them here as the Lohmans outline then refute the arguments pretty clearly in the book, but essentially the arguments derive from the assumption that life would be worse living outside of the binary, and any other possible issue that could arise is dramatized because of this belief (ex. people with CAH will have a higher likelihood of UTIs without the surgery, except that there's no proof this is true because the majority of CAH patients undergo the genital surgery and it's only AFTER the surgery that their likelihood increases). It's very upsetting to hear how surgeons will lie to parents to convince them into consenting to the surgeries, and I'm very glad there are people like the Lohmans out there who can advocate for their child.
I will say that the description suggests a day-to-day explanation of how they manage Rosie's status and explain it to teachers, but that really takes up less than a few pages. The majority of the book is an overview then refutement of arguments that doctors will use to justify IGM, plus a history of the Lohman family before Rosie, the labour/birth, then the weeks after her birth where the Lohmans had to bat off the surgeon's "recommendations" for surgery while Rosie's life hung in the balance because of her disease (CAH, which makes her body unable to produce cortisol).
Overall, this is a must-read for all, and I'm glad to see parents like the Lohmans fighting for intersex rights and supporting their intersex child.
The title may sway you to think this is only for prospective parents, but the authors state that they also wish to inform lawmakers, doctors, nurses, family members of prospective parents, etc. -- ie. anyone who may have an impact on intersex rights or a direct connection to intersex individuals. Their hope is to illuminate the issues with intersex genital mutilation (IGM) on infants -- a (usually) cosmetic surgery that many intersex individuals grow to resent as adults because they a) were unable to consent b) were not told they were intersex growing up and c) often have to suffer through a lifetime of follow-up surgeries or have other medical complications as a result of that genital surgery as an infant.
I read this book after reading The Spectrum of Sex: The Science of Male, Female, and Intersex and it was definitely a good follow-up. Where Spectrum of Sex tells us that parents are often coerced into consenting to IGM for their infants, Raising Rosie shows us exactly how this coercion occurs.
Mainly, it is surgeons recommending the surgery because of heteronormative ideas of how the child will probably hate their life if they're not "corrected" into the male/female binary. I say "ideas" because they really don't have any evidence to back up their claims. I won't repeat them here as the Lohmans outline then refute the arguments pretty clearly in the book, but essentially the arguments derive from the assumption that life would be worse living outside of the binary, and any other possible issue that could arise is dramatized because of this belief (ex. people with CAH will have a higher likelihood of UTIs without the surgery, except that there's no proof this is true because the majority of CAH patients undergo the genital surgery and it's only AFTER the surgery that their likelihood increases). It's very upsetting to hear how surgeons will lie to parents to convince them into consenting to the surgeries, and I'm very glad there are people like the Lohmans out there who can advocate for their child.
I will say that the description suggests a day-to-day explanation of how they manage Rosie's status and explain it to teachers, but that really takes up less than a few pages. The majority of the book is an overview then refutement of arguments that doctors will use to justify IGM, plus a history of the Lohman family before Rosie, the labour/birth, then the weeks after her birth where the Lohmans had to bat off the surgeon's "recommendations" for surgery while Rosie's life hung in the balance because of her disease (CAH, which makes her body unable to produce cortisol).
Overall, this is a must-read for all, and I'm glad to see parents like the Lohmans fighting for intersex rights and supporting their intersex child.
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June 2, 2019More substantial review coming soon IY"H (in my intersex book reviews series), but I liked it.
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Source of the book: Lawrence Public Library
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Source of the book: Lawrence Public Library
January 21, 2022
To see more reviews check out MI Book Reviews.
I got an ARC of this book.
I have a total of two issues with this entire book. Considering how strong my feelings are on gender identity, sex, sexuality, and sexual orientation this is an astonishingly low number. The first issue is one of language. The Lohman parents refer to Rosie’s enlarged clitoris as a phallus. That strikes me as strange since they had to explain that it was a clitoris before they could explain they used different terminology for it. The issue I really have is phallus is very much seen as another word for penis or penis shaped. Why is this word being applied to a clitoris when everyone is in agreement that the organ in question is a clitoris? If that is what makes it easier on Rosie, then they made the right decision (they made so many decisions that I was cheering for them in my head and dancing in my seat through so much of this book, that it was hard to find fault with anything they did. I vote for parent of the year awards!). If this is because they can’t help but see an enlarged clitoris as a penis, then I hope that they continue to learn more. Though I doubt that their commitment to learning and activism could be called into question, especially after reading this book.
My second issue is comparing intersex treatments with transsexual treatment. They are similar in some regards and vastly different in others. There is also, strangely, a huge issue between the communities that I was unaware of until an intersex person actively attacked me because I was, he could tell, “jealous” of his testosterone. I would like to point out that I am quite happy with my testosterone and that I was upset upon hearing that he had surgery forced on him as a child. I am so very thankful that Rosie’s parents view Rosie and her body as being hers and not theirs to control. My main issue is that they said that WPATH guidelines should be followed with intersex kids and trans kids. My issue is mainly in the fact that those guidelines are outdated and do no take into account what the kids actually need. There are surgeons that are performing gender confirming surgery on kids at 15-16 now. The children were ready, their bodies were ready, and the surgeon saw that the risks were far outweighed by the benefits for the trans kids. So in truth, my issue is WPATH, not the Lohman parents. I started taking hormones at 15 to start my medical transition. I had to fight and prove that I was able to make that decision about my body, I had to even take an IQ test. In the state I was in, 16 was legally an adult for medical decisions, but I still needed parental consent to get a hysterectomy at 20. In California, you just have to sign a waiver saying you understand the risks and benefits of hormone replacement therapy, then you could start. Why would we subject kids to needless psychiatric tests that have no bearing on the issue at hand (children being trusted to know their own gender).
The Lohman parents are amazing people. They fought for their baby. They continue to fight for their child. There were doubts expressed and I want to say, from the perspective of a trans person who did not have the best support as a kid: You are doing the right thing. Continue to love Rosie and listen to her. Continue to allow her to grow and teach her her body is nothing to be ashamed of. She may be embarrassed or angry about this when she is a teenager, but she will thank you when she gets older. I know I would have if I had you two as parents.
I got an ARC of this book.
I have a total of two issues with this entire book. Considering how strong my feelings are on gender identity, sex, sexuality, and sexual orientation this is an astonishingly low number. The first issue is one of language. The Lohman parents refer to Rosie’s enlarged clitoris as a phallus. That strikes me as strange since they had to explain that it was a clitoris before they could explain they used different terminology for it. The issue I really have is phallus is very much seen as another word for penis or penis shaped. Why is this word being applied to a clitoris when everyone is in agreement that the organ in question is a clitoris? If that is what makes it easier on Rosie, then they made the right decision (they made so many decisions that I was cheering for them in my head and dancing in my seat through so much of this book, that it was hard to find fault with anything they did. I vote for parent of the year awards!). If this is because they can’t help but see an enlarged clitoris as a penis, then I hope that they continue to learn more. Though I doubt that their commitment to learning and activism could be called into question, especially after reading this book.
My second issue is comparing intersex treatments with transsexual treatment. They are similar in some regards and vastly different in others. There is also, strangely, a huge issue between the communities that I was unaware of until an intersex person actively attacked me because I was, he could tell, “jealous” of his testosterone. I would like to point out that I am quite happy with my testosterone and that I was upset upon hearing that he had surgery forced on him as a child. I am so very thankful that Rosie’s parents view Rosie and her body as being hers and not theirs to control. My main issue is that they said that WPATH guidelines should be followed with intersex kids and trans kids. My issue is mainly in the fact that those guidelines are outdated and do no take into account what the kids actually need. There are surgeons that are performing gender confirming surgery on kids at 15-16 now. The children were ready, their bodies were ready, and the surgeon saw that the risks were far outweighed by the benefits for the trans kids. So in truth, my issue is WPATH, not the Lohman parents. I started taking hormones at 15 to start my medical transition. I had to fight and prove that I was able to make that decision about my body, I had to even take an IQ test. In the state I was in, 16 was legally an adult for medical decisions, but I still needed parental consent to get a hysterectomy at 20. In California, you just have to sign a waiver saying you understand the risks and benefits of hormone replacement therapy, then you could start. Why would we subject kids to needless psychiatric tests that have no bearing on the issue at hand (children being trusted to know their own gender).
The Lohman parents are amazing people. They fought for their baby. They continue to fight for their child. There were doubts expressed and I want to say, from the perspective of a trans person who did not have the best support as a kid: You are doing the right thing. Continue to love Rosie and listen to her. Continue to allow her to grow and teach her her body is nothing to be ashamed of. She may be embarrassed or angry about this when she is a teenager, but she will thank you when she gets older. I know I would have if I had you two as parents.
August 16, 2018
Learning about Intersex – from two experts
Wisconsin author Eric Lohman earned his PhD in Media Studies from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee where he lectures and does research on gender, race, and class in the mass media. His co-author and wife Stephanie Lohman earned her BS and BScN in chemistry, biology and nursing and works as a nurse in health care and sciences. Together they bring to this excellent book a two pronged approach to topic of intersex – both as scientists an as parents of an intersex child.
The writing of this important book is both instructive and emotionally charged, parents who have the ability to address intersex from a well researched background while raising Rosie, their won intersex child.
The synopsis of the book explains the content well – ‘When their daughter Rosie was born, Eric and Stephanie Lohman found themselves thrust into a situation they were not prepared for. Born intersex - a term that describes people who are born with a variety of physical characteristics that do not fit neatly into traditional conceptions about male and female bodies - Rosie's parents were pressured to consent to normalizing surgery on Rosie, without being offered any alternatives despite their concerns. Part memoir, part guidebook, this powerful book tells the authors' experience of refusing to have Rosie operated on and how they raised a child who is intersex. The book looks at how they spoke about the condition to friends and family, to Rosie's teachers and caregivers, and shows how they plan on explaining it to Rosie when she is older. This uplifting and empowering story is a must read for all parents of intersex children.’
What the synopsis does not address is the emotional impact of the decisions confronting the Lohmans as they refused to allow ‘surgical correction’ of the intersex child and that leads into a powerful, well presented argument for NOT allowing surgery in the early stages of intersex children – how such surgeries often result in scarring and disfigurement externally as well as prevent the ‘choice’ for genital and organ alteration once the child reaches the age of informed choice.
Books such as this are too rare, and possibly with the publication of this book and with the (hopefully) growing understanding and attitude maturation that appears to be occurring now there will be greater appreciation and understanding and support for intersex children and their families and mates and friends. Highly Recommended.
Wisconsin author Eric Lohman earned his PhD in Media Studies from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee where he lectures and does research on gender, race, and class in the mass media. His co-author and wife Stephanie Lohman earned her BS and BScN in chemistry, biology and nursing and works as a nurse in health care and sciences. Together they bring to this excellent book a two pronged approach to topic of intersex – both as scientists an as parents of an intersex child.
The writing of this important book is both instructive and emotionally charged, parents who have the ability to address intersex from a well researched background while raising Rosie, their won intersex child.
The synopsis of the book explains the content well – ‘When their daughter Rosie was born, Eric and Stephanie Lohman found themselves thrust into a situation they were not prepared for. Born intersex - a term that describes people who are born with a variety of physical characteristics that do not fit neatly into traditional conceptions about male and female bodies - Rosie's parents were pressured to consent to normalizing surgery on Rosie, without being offered any alternatives despite their concerns. Part memoir, part guidebook, this powerful book tells the authors' experience of refusing to have Rosie operated on and how they raised a child who is intersex. The book looks at how they spoke about the condition to friends and family, to Rosie's teachers and caregivers, and shows how they plan on explaining it to Rosie when she is older. This uplifting and empowering story is a must read for all parents of intersex children.’
What the synopsis does not address is the emotional impact of the decisions confronting the Lohmans as they refused to allow ‘surgical correction’ of the intersex child and that leads into a powerful, well presented argument for NOT allowing surgery in the early stages of intersex children – how such surgeries often result in scarring and disfigurement externally as well as prevent the ‘choice’ for genital and organ alteration once the child reaches the age of informed choice.
Books such as this are too rare, and possibly with the publication of this book and with the (hopefully) growing understanding and attitude maturation that appears to be occurring now there will be greater appreciation and understanding and support for intersex children and their families and mates and friends. Highly Recommended.
January 18, 2021
*language used from the book below*
I originally read this to inform myself from a teachers standpoint since it was recommended from teacher friends of mine. I do know people who are intersex and I guess that’s where biased feelings come in? I got angry in a sense to see them say one second ‘enlarged clitoris’ to referring it basically to the male appendage. It cannot be both in that sense. I get it if it was possibly a male appendage and Rosie has a vagina as well. But they didn’t say it like that. And the fact this book is really outdated because 1 intersex is no where close to transgender (they aren’t even truly on the same spectrum only similarities is being in the LGBT community) 2 it’s no longer acknowledged as ‘too risky’ of a surgery.
I feel like this book misinformed more than working to inform others.
I originally read this to inform myself from a teachers standpoint since it was recommended from teacher friends of mine. I do know people who are intersex and I guess that’s where biased feelings come in? I got angry in a sense to see them say one second ‘enlarged clitoris’ to referring it basically to the male appendage. It cannot be both in that sense. I get it if it was possibly a male appendage and Rosie has a vagina as well. But they didn’t say it like that. And the fact this book is really outdated because 1 intersex is no where close to transgender (they aren’t even truly on the same spectrum only similarities is being in the LGBT community) 2 it’s no longer acknowledged as ‘too risky’ of a surgery.
I feel like this book misinformed more than working to inform others.
September 7, 2021
I did not like this book at all. I disagree with his definition of intersex. I don't group CAH into that category. It seemed like he was trying to mold his daughter's health condition into what he had studied in order to become a published author. I also strongly disliked the goal of trying to stop surgeries in CAH since some of them are medically necessary. It is unfortunate that he and his wife had such a negative experience with doctors, but it seems he is trying to do the exact same thing on the opposite end of the spectrum: force people with CAH to only have one option - not being able to have surgery. This could be very damaging to others later on as surgeons are no longer able to perform surgeries necessary for the health of CAH patients and we regress to the 1950s again when no one is trained to handle such delicate surgeries.
May 25, 2019
I read the Lohmans’ book as someone who is interested in how to work with gender non-conforming children. It’s a well-researched memoir with a clear focus on the parents’ point of view. It’s explicitly written to dissuade parents from consenting to cosmetic surgery on infants, arguing that the potential social downsides are minor compared to potential medical complications and the loss of consent. It’s an engaging, accessible, quick read—I’m glad to have it available now, but I also think it could have been a stronger narrative in five years when Rosie’s voice could have been added to the story.
(Full academic memo on Scrivener.)
(Full academic memo on Scrivener.)
July 1, 2023
As a former neonatal nurse, I would have liked to have access to this. In the 90's, there was never a question of leaving a baby with indeterminate genitalia to grow up unaltered, and I personally knew of many children traumatized by multiple surgeries. I'm so glad the intersex community is gaining advocates!
April 13, 2021
Every member of the LGBTQI+ community should read this book (Do you all know what does the “Í” stand for?), also every pregnant couple, every doctor... The Lohman’s are so brave to share their experience parenting an intersex child, they do it in a very clear, respectful and beautiful way.
August 8, 2023
This was billed as coherent creative nonfiction but in actuality was a disjointed reading experience. I would've preferred a focused narrative about Rosie, as the rest of the book was a biased op-ed disguised as academic discourse.
September 2, 2018
Convincing and compassionate. A must-read for anyone interested in intersex issues or pediatrics.
September 30, 2019
Did not enjoy. Maybe I judged the book by its cover. Was all general, rarely about Rosie. Too young . Title not apt.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews