Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome: A Step By Step Guide To Discovery And Recovery

by Wayne Kritsberg

A complete self-help program for adult children of alcoholics

More than 28 million Americans grew up in alcoholic families.  They bear a painful legacy of confusion, fear, anger and hurt—and they are at shockingly high risk of marrying an alcoholic or becoming alcoholics themselves.  In this authoritative book, Wayne Kritsberg shows how to recognize—and remedy—the long-term effects of the dysfunctional, alcoholic family.  His proven techniques, based on extensive clinical experience using the Family Integration System offer real help and real hope for adult children of alcoholics—and those they love.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Addiction, Mental Health, Reference, Parenting

176 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 1988

Reviews

[Margot Note]

Continuing on my spree of ACoA books...

Finished on Christmas morning, 1:30 am, in a luxurious, big bathtub after drinking champagne with friends.

This is the section that was a breakthrough to me:

"ACoAs who have been emotionally abandoned have good reason to fear abandonment as adults. They have been abandoned, time and time again, as children. The message that they got from their parents was the same as those ACoAs who were physically abandoned. You are in the way and not wanted.

Abandonment sparks fear in the child. If we try to view the world as a child, we can get a sense of what this fear is like. A child cannot take care of him- or herself. Without adults--parents, in most cases--children would not survive. This is not a theory. A two-year-old child left to its own devices would die. Kids are not capable of taking care of themselves, and they know it. Children may not be able to verbalize the fear of their parents' leaving and not coming back, but that fear is there. A child, when abandoned, experiences a fear that is primal. It is the fear of not surviving--the fear of dying" (34).

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

The concept was interesting and I truly wanted to like it. I am a child of an alcoholic and wanted this to be eye opening in explaining why I am the way I am. Maybe the book was too outdated to be relatable. There was a surprising amount of I do that I actually DIDNT agree with or fit….

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read if you, a friend or a family member (past or present) suffered from alcoholism or the effects of a loved ones alcoholism. You'll be surprised how this issue effects families generations later even when alcoholism is no longer obviously present. Easy, fast read for anyone.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book when cleaning up the belongings of a loved one who had recently passed away. I think it was left on purpose as explanation. It described much of their behavior. I think it is useful not only for those that had Alcoholic parents, but for those around them.

[Todd · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book, recommended by my therapist, (at last a therapist who figured it out), has saved my life.

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kritsberg wendet sich mit diesem Buch an erwachsene Kinder von alkoholabhängigen Eltern. Das Buch ist als Selbsthilfe angelegt aber auch für Therapeut*innen und Berater*innen nützlich.
Im ersten Teil des Buches beschreibt der Autor welche Auswirkungen das Aufwachsen in einer alkoholabhängigen Familie hat. Menschen aus diesen Familien sind mit verschiedenen Familienregeln aufgewachsen: Rigidität/Kontrolle, Verschwiegenheit, Leugnung, Isolation. Das hat Auswirkungen auf das Denken, Fühlen und Verhalten bis ins Erwachsenenleben. Der Autor beschreibt, dass auch ein chronischer Schockzustand häufig bei den erwachsenen Kindern vorkomme, da es in alkoholabhängigen Familien auch häufiger traumatische Ereignisse gibt.

Im zweiten Teil beschreibt Kritsberg ein Selbsthilfe-System, das wesentlich auf schriftliche Dialoge aufbaut. Das Schreiben als Medium des Ausdrucks wird genutzt, um mit dem eigenen Körper und den eigenen Gefühlen in Kontakt zu kommen, mit Familienmitglieder und dem eigenen inneren Kind.

Das Buch basiert auf der Berufserfahrung des Autors, entsprechend finden sich hier keine Studien, die Beschreibung der Familien oder das Selbsthilfe-Programm belegen. Letztlich dürfen Betroffene selbst entscheiden, ob sie sich in der Beschreibung der erwachsenen Kinder wiederfinden und das angeregte Selbsthilfe-Programm versuchen möchten. Für letzteres sollte man meines Erachtens schon eine gewisse Stabilität mitbringen, da einige unangenehme Erfahrungen und Erinnerungen ins Bewusstsein kommen könnten.

[L · Rating 5 out of 5]

It may not 100% pertain to your situation but If you’re an ACoA you will benefit from the majority of this book.

[Jeff Finley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Found this gem at a going-out-of-business sale at a local used bookstore and I am quite impressed. This book is from the 80s and is right about so many aspects of healing from CPTSD resulting from growing up in a home with alcoholic parents. I skimmed through parts of it that I felt didn’t apply to me but I’d recommend this to anyone who seems to get caught up in codependent relationships, empaths, or sufferers of narcissistic abuse.

[Ann Acree · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has opened my eyes so much!

[Sara]

also: gifts: advanced skillls for alcoholism counselors (i own)