Is kissing sinful?
Christy is now 20. She's been working in a Swiss orphanage, wondering why working there - instead of making her feel happy and fulfilled - is draining her. She's also studying to get her degree in childhood education.
It's vacation. Christy, Todd and Katie have 3 weeks off. They decide to use this time to travel randomly all over Europe.
As usual, relationship drama takes the front seat, with God and born-again Christianity a close second.
Todd, Christy's "boyfriend" of five years, is still a putz. But he's getting better. He holds her hand a lot in this book! And Christy musters up the courage to kiss him on the cheek at one point! This is a big deal since he has trained her to never "take the initiative" since that is a man's job. A woman only responds. So her kissing him on the cheek and him NOT scolding her for it was a huge step, in my opinion.
He even kisses her on the mouth a few times! However, this backfires, as Christy quickly has a crisis about purity and saving herself for marriage. I was SO disappointed. I wanted kissing!
Todd has kissed Christy on the mouth 7 times in 5 years. SEVEN TIMES. I just have no words.
Listen, I don't care about virginity. Okay? You can save yourself for marriage, and if you want to do that, that's great. Really. But it would be extremely difficult for me to be in a relationship with a guy who acts like he doesn't want to touch me. And I'm not talking about sex! I'm not talking about sex here. I'm talking about putting your arm around her. Holding her hand. Kissing. Snuggling. Cuddling up on the couch together. Whatever. Things that I consider parts of a normal, healthy relationship between two people that are attracted to each other.
And Christy...Christy is so starved for physical affection it breaks my heart. She's always wishing, hoping, yearning that Todd will take her hand/lean over and kiss her/put his arm around her. And she's paralyzed from doing any of these actions herself because he's trained her to think that that's not a woman's place.
I really, really disagree with this book's premise that kissing is a bad, sinful thing. Kissing is a wonderful, loving, amazing activity. For frick's sake, they aren't even Frenching!!! Don't even get me started. I personally think they should be kissing A LOT, with tongue, every opportunity they get, but that's just me. Apparently I'm a heathen.
Then, there's this whole thing about:
"Do you know what, Kilikina?" Todd caught her tear with his finger and then pressed his finger to his chest, directly over his heart. "This is where I save all your tears. Right here, where I hold you in my heart."
Always the more sensible one, Christy decides that instead of holding Todd's tears in her heart like he holds her tears in his, she'll save all the kisses she's not giving him in her heart for after they're married. Todd won't be able to get out of bed for a month after the wedding, at this rate.
You know what? I'd feel so much better if I knew for certain that these two would have a great sex life after getting married. But they won't. Not because two virgins getting married to each other means "bad sex life" (I don't believe that AT ALL) but because Todd is a putz. He's going to marry this very affectionate woman who obviously craves physical love, and he's going to turn her away. He's going to pull the "we should only use sex for procreation" line on her. He's going to do everything to convince her that - because she enjoys sex and wants it - she is some kind of wanton hussy who doesn't love God enough or something. She's never going to get what she needs and wants from this guy. And he's going to destroy her sense of... actually he's already started to destroy her innocent and sweet and healthy sexual desires. That means he's a putz, and I can't forgive him.
The sweetest and best part of the book is when Christy teaches Todd how to braid her hair. It takes him a few tries to get it right, but soon he's good at making her a very pretty braid. I find this very romantic. I think braiding your wife's hair is so, so romantic and sweet and nice and wonderful. Awww! This was the only satisfying scene in the book for me.
Other than that, fail. It's nice that Todd's being warmer to Christy now, but I just can't see a happy future for these two. Christy's always going to be suffering because she's a person who needs physical love and Todd is a person who sees physical love as a sin. It's a bad match.