Between Parent and Teenager

by Haim G. Ginott

Presents parents with advice on the handling of everyday difficulties and serious crises which arise in the parent-teenager relationship

Genres: Parenting, Psychology, Nonfiction, Education, Adult

255 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 1969

About the author

Haim G. Ginott was a teacher, child psychologist and psychotherapist, who worked with children and parents. He pioneered techniques for conversing with children that are still taught today. His book, Between Parent and Child,. stayed on the best seller list for over a year and is still popular today.

Reviews

[Gillie · Rating 3 out of 5]

As part of my new year's resolution this year, I've been reading the books of Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish and their mentor/teacher, Dr. Haim G. Ginott. This one made me wonder a little if going back to a book written in 1969 was going too far. Although his general parenting philosophy is solid, some of the sections of the book feel really outdated. The chapter "Teenage Sex and Human Values" is particularly awkward, as he talks about how most people hope their children's experiments with homosexuality will be short-lived and the fact that teens who ask their parents about birth control are revealing the truth that they're too immature to be having sex. It was interesting to read as a reminder of how things have changed, but some of the outdated attitudes interfered with my feeling that I was learning important skills from it.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picked up a few useful tips from this 1969 publication, but several aspects were antiquated, such as examples involving problems with long hair, psychedelic posters, and love beads. But it only goes to show how some problems aren’t really problems at all, just the ebb and flow of generational novelties, irrelevant in the vast scheme of life. A few standout points were of great value: “The search for personal identity is the life task of a teenager… He is afraid of being a nobody, an imitation of an image, a chip off the old block. He becomes disobedient and rebellious, not so much to defy his parents but in order to experience his identity and autonomy.” Don’t hurry to correct facts, as one kid lamented, “My father is a natural born improver. It hurts him to see me doing things my own way. He always has a better way—his own…I am determined to make my own mistakes.” Do more listening, offer nonjudgmental observations. Our anger has a purpose; it shows our concern, but it doesn’t mean they can withstand torrents of rage. They can benefit from anger that says: “There are limits to my tolerance.” On the short end, the author’s suggestions typically aren’t permanent fixes. As in his book “Between Parent & Child”, there are good insights but the suggestions are like aspirin—they help, but the headache still comes back.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

So practical and useful. Yes lots of antiquated (50 yrs old!) themes and some even way off the mark today, but the anecdotes and stories and tenets of effective communication for parents à la Ginott were so excellent and humanistic and developmentally appropriate, it deserves all my stars. Many other aspects are still true today and can be taken in as nuggets of communication and parenting skills to try to emulate. I can’t say I would recommend it to my patients, but I do wish 2019 parents had such an easy to read, down to earth, wisdom- filled gem.

[Mary · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yeesh. Unlike "Between Parent and Child," which I enjoyed, this has not been updated or revised and remains in its pristine 1969 state. Some of the sections were incredibly uncomfortable and out of line with current social and scientific thought. Other sections gave off an "lol teenagers suck, good luck" vibe that I disagree with. The book is not without merit, but it was more disappointing than it was useful.

[Samuela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good read on the respectful communication

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent book for ALL parents of teens....
Great tips for communication, and understanding.
IMPORTANT - remember this book was written in 1969. The chapters on alcohol & drug use are outdated and, in my opinion, if used as a reference for current discussion with teens would cause the parent to lose ALL credibility.
Everything else I was able to absorb from this guide has made a difference already!

[Nikki Powers · Rating 5 out of 5]

While this book was written 2 years after I was born, I think it is still very relevant today. It's a keeper on my bookshelf until all of my kids are through this stage. I will say that there were aspects of it that at first seemed heading in the wrong direction (with the advice), but as I stuck with it I could see that it was a very smart approach. Note that this is not a "Christian" book.

[Lily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don't always agree with Ginott in philosophy, but really like these books. This is my favorite -- still go back to it occasionally, even in thinking about my own up-bringing. Certainly felt in sync with his views during my own child-raising years.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was some helpful dialog for sure. I need to keep these types of books coming at a steady stream. We will be in the midst of our four teens for the next decade!

[Xenna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book when I was younger. While it may not be the most interesting book at times, it did help. It validated my emotions at times when my mother simply thought I was being too sensitive.

[Frasat Umer]

I want to read.