Relationship Rescue: A Seven-Step Strategy for Reconnecting with Your Partner

by Phillip C. McGraw

With Life Strategies, Phil McGraw helped hundreds of thousands of people take responsibility for their own actions and break free from self-destructive habits and situations. Now he turns his honest, unflinching eye toward relationshipsdiagnosing them, repairing them, and maintaining them. This hands-on book is for people who realize their relationship is in trouble, but who dont want to give up on it. In addition, it includes questionnaires, profiles, and checklists that will keep readers focused and aware of their feelings. Phil McGraw has already established himself as someone whom readers can turn to for direct, tell-it-like-it-is help in their own lives. Now he offers readers the chance for further happiness through meaningful, fulfilling relationships that work. Dr. McGraw helps get relationships back on track with a controversial explosion of the myths of conventional relationship thinking and clear action-oriented steps for reconnecting partners.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Relationships, Marriage, Psychology, Reference, Personal Development

320 pages, Hardcover

First published February 1, 2000

About the author

Phillip Calvin McGraw, best known as Dr. Phil, is an American television personality, psychologist and author who is the host of the psychology themed television show Dr. Phil. He gained celebrity status following appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Reviews

[Shaimaa شيماء · Rating 3 out of 5]

يرى الكاتب ان غالبية العلاقات الزوجية يمكن ان تكون علاقات ناجحة إلا في حالات نادرة مثل حالات الإدمان والعنف الأسرى إذا اجتهد الطرفان أو حتى أحدهما في سبيل نجاح هذه العلاقة.

الكتاب موجه لمن يقرأه زوج او زوجة؛ فالكاتب يريد لمن يقرأ الكتاب أن ينظر لنفسه قبل ان ينظر لشريكه ويصلح نفسه اولا ويتحمل مسئوليته.

يتحدث الكاتب عن خرافات الحياة الزوجية الناجحة ويحاول تفنيدها 
الخرافة الأولى:
العلاقة الرائعة تعتمد على تفاهم كامل بين عقليتين.
الخرافة الثانية:
العلاقة الرائعة هي ثمرة رومانسية رائعة.
الخرافة الثالثة:
العلاقة الرائعة تتطلب مقدرة كبيرة على حل المشكلات.
الخرافة الرابعة:
العلاقة الرائعة تتطلب وجود اهتمامات مشتركة تربط بين طرفيها للأبد.
الخرافة الخامسة :
العلاقة الرائعة علاقة تنعم بالسلام.
الخرافة السادسة:
العلاقة الرائعة تجعلك تنفس عن كل مشاعرك.

الخرافة السابعة:
العلاقة الرائعة لا صلة لها بالعلاقة الحميمة.
الخرافة الثامنة:
لا يمكن لعلاقة رائعة أن تستمر إن كان أحد طرفيها يعاني عيبا ما.
الخرافة التاسعة : هناك طريقة  صحيحة وأخرى خاطئة للاستمتاع بعلاقة رائعة.
الخرافة العاشرة:
يمكن لعلاقتك أن تصبح رائعة فقط حينما تغير شريك حياتك.

كما يتحدث عن الارواح السيئة وكيفية التغلب عليها مثل تصيد الأخطاء، العدوانية.

يتحدث كذلك عن إصلاح الجوهر عن طريق امتلاك العلاقة،  تقبل خطر التعرض للألم، تقبل شريك الحياة، التركيز على الصداقة، تعزيز ثقة شريك الحياة في ذاته، الصدق والمباشرة، تجاوز الاضطرابات، تجسيد المشاعر.

اسلوب الكاتب لطيف ومسلي لكنه كثير الكلام والرغي.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

QUOTE: “You must put motion into your emotion. Every day, at every step along the way in your relationship, you must ask yourself, ‘Is what I’m doing and what I’m saying bringing us closer together, or pushing us further apart?’ Every day, at every step along the way, you must ask of yourself, ‘Is what I’m doing helping us thrive in new ways as a couple, or am I keeping us stuck in our old patterns?’” [p. 681]

[Deb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good advice; lots of surveys/quizes to fill out and lots of documentation to help you work on your relationship. Not a quick read.

[Jenifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I never reviewed this book which means that I must have first read it prior to 2007 when I started Goodreads. I'm cleaning up a self-help shelf in my library and intended to give this a skim and then determine whether to keep or give away. I almost got sucked clear under!! I found all of my old notes, answers to the many worksheets and quizzes and a solid set of relationship advice that I had forgotten were in this book. It's a keeper for me. The first 20 pages especially where Dr. Phil calls you to action and puts the power for change firmly in your own hands are so well done and super empowering. I loved re-reading those.

My relationship is on pretty solid footing these days. But I'm keeping this book around. I really like it.

"It is not possible for you to have a seriously defective long-term relationship unless you have generated and adopted a lifestyle to sustain it. Every single person in every walk of life has a lifestyle that supports who and what he or she is. If you are a healthy, vibrant, efficient, and productive person who is in touch with your core of consciousness, then I know without question that you have a lifestyle that supports that manner of living. If you are an emotionally pained and relationally troubled person who has lost touch with your core of consciousness, I know that you have a lifestyle that supports that too. You cannot have a bad relationship unless your lifestyle is characterized by stress, pressure, distraction, and a harried and chaotic existence. Moreover, if you are living in a dysfunctional relations with another person, it's because you have a dysfunctional relationship with yourself." p10

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not a big fan of Dr. Phil but I have to admit this is a great book for examining how to improve your relationships. I'm a fan of most any text that promotes mindfulness.

[Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It was extremely helpful to me to gain clarity on my relationship with my ex-fiance. The exercises are incredibly useful and can be worked alone. Your partner doesn't have to participate necessarily. I might almost recommend processing through the book alone before sharing it with you partner if you decide you want to work it together. Great insights and practical steps will move to a new phase in your relationship or give you the self confidence and esteem to leave a bad relationship.

[Hayam Al-Rashed · Rating 5 out of 5]

قرأت النسخة العربية منه (ترجمة مكتبة جرير) قبل ثمان شهور وكنت في مشكلة حقيقة وقتها
الكتاب جداا مفيد لدرجة أني اشتريت النسخة الانجليزية منه عن طريق امازون وأنهيت قراءتها بمتعة أكبر خاصة بعد نجاح تجربتي ولله الحمدلله

[Dena · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is basically the same thing as Self Matters. In order to repair a broken relationship, first you have to repair the broken you.

[Heather · Rating 1 out of 5]

I actually just skimmed this book. Do not like the way it is oranized, it's so overwhelming. I've found many other relationship books that I STRONGLY prefer to this one.

[Cynthia Jean Schweiger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful

Makes me think about the real role I play and responsibilities I have that I had not considered before. Easy to understand.

[Andrea Norton · Rating 5 out of 5]

My personal reading quest for 2016 is to read books I would normally never, ever read. This has lead me to self-help books, and especially relationship books. The last time I read anything even close to a book like this was Relationship Rescue when I was 18 years old in 2003. I was trying to help my boyfriend and myself, and well, I got nowhere at all.

Because of this reading quest that I'm on, I found a new love for relationship books. I am absolutely fascinated with them and I don't know why. I remembered that I read this 13 years ago and picked it up along with the workbook to read again. When I read this stuff, I go through the programs in the books because I find it fun and interesting. I don't read them to save my marriage or anything like that, but my husband Sean does go through it all with me. He has the patience of a saint as some of this stuff is way out there.

I like Dr. Phil - his show is interesting and I like his writing style. He really does have a tough love, no BS approach to helping people, and it can be an acquired taste. What I didn't remember about this book and workbook is that in the first part, it's all about you and working on yourself. You have to dig deep within yourself and be critically honest in order to do this. So, that's what I did. I dug into myself and was 100% honest.

As I read, highlighted and took notes, I found myself saying, "SEAN! Listen to this!" and read a part of the book to him. We would discuss it and move along. This book is really full of helpful advice and the program is easy to follow, but I would not recommend doing this half way or only doing parts of it. It's designed the way it is to begin with you, add your partner and then finish off together, if your partner will work with you.

You can do this alone, it is possible. This is one to read with an open mind and heart, and to be considered before brushing off. I've read a library of relationship books lately it seems, and this is one I can get behind and recommend.

Whether you are doing this alone or with your partner, or you are just curious, this is a great read. As always, Dr. Phil doesn't sugar coat things; that's never been his approach. Take your time, go through the program, and do it with the workbook. It's well worth your time.

Another review can be found with the companion workbook that goes with Relationship Rescue.

[Amie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been thinking about this book a lot of late. Back in 2006 I read it. I was in the midst of my 3rd pregnancy, living in my parents home again with my brother's family and our parents, plus my Grandma that had been sick with Cancer. Mike was at school all of the time, I had no car and I was feeling pretty overwhelmed with the "realities" of life. That translated, for me, in little to no ability to function emotionally. (Not good on a marriage.) We had little privacy to have the little talks we needed to have and I was building up resentments daily. Something needed to change. And I knew it had to come from me. Since that is the only person I have control over. I read it and put myself through the self examination it encouraged and everything changed. My mind changed. And it has blessed us so much.
Well, I have a dear friend out there who is going through a relationship crisis of her own and my heart is just sick about it. For the past two days I keep thinking about how this book helped me and I want to recommend it to her. I'm sure she will read this. So, if this sounds like you, it is. Please give it a read. It can only help. It helped me.
Love you!

[Jaclyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unfortunately I didn't finish this book b/c I checked it out from the library and despite several renewals I still couldn't finish. There is a lot of really great relationship and self reflection in this book and although I would have liked to get completely through it, I just ran out of time and patience. That said, I enjoyed what I read and I may give in and buy it one of these days so I can finish it. I think Dr Phil has some great advice regarding working more on yourself than your partner if you want to improve your relationship.

[Tammy]

This started out as a book that was getting great reviews and recommended for Business Management Strategies. Mark picked it up for reading over the summer. We now have bought two other so we each have our own to read and work out of. I gave the original to my sister.

Seriously a book everyone should read. I don’t think you need to feel your relationship is on the rocks or going bad to read and consider the import of your actions and interactions in a relationship. Very easy and quick read. A good shot in the arm for any relationship. Also helps consider working relationships too.

[Adrianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

To begin with, Dr. Phil McGraw is a genius when it comes to psychology. You hear a lot of haters putting him down, but when you examin their lives you can see why they don't approve of him and you also realize how badly they may need his help. This book was nothing short of fantastic. Great advice. He understands women and men and how they work and helps you get past that hurdle which is often such a big gap. There are a lot of surveys/quizes, etc. That help you work out your relationship. It is not a quick read.

[Vincent · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is a lot in here not just for a married couple but anyone who is trying to get along with their partner - or honestly with a close friend.
So much of life is balancing your needs and wants and insecurities with those around you - the truth is we all could learn more about how to do it well.
There are some quizzes in this book that are eye-opening. And some sound advice for fixing problems.
The sad truth though is that every single relationship is different from any other and ultimately we need to each find our way alone and no book will patch things up.

[Ilva · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ja ar tavām attiecībām kaut kas ir galīgi ne tā, tad šajā grāmatā var gūt dažu labu padomu, ko darīt, lai tās saglābtu. Bet varbūt vislabāk palasīt, kad viss vēl ir kārtībā, kā nesalaist visu grīstē. Pamīšus ar labiem padomiem ir arī šis tas, kas, manuprāt, ir diezgan naivs vai vismaz tāds, kas nedarbosies itin nemaz. Atzīšos, ka dažu labu nodaļu tieši tāpēc pāršķīru nemaz neizlasot :)

[Bethany]

It's been a while since I've read this, but I liked that it helps you to take personal responsibility for your relationships welfare. No more of blaming him, what are you doing to impact this relationship? And how to fix it!

[Jacque · Rating 5 out of 5]

I actually thought this book was very thoughtful and insightful. It also seemed realistic and positive and gets straight to the point which I appreciate after reading a lot of books that talk a lot but don't say much.

[Lolly K Dandeneau]

Okay a friend of mine who had serious marital trouble asked me if I liked this book, so I read it for the heck of it and I am still laughing. Is he "for real"? Relationship Rescue, if you believe all relationships fit one mold. I would give a star in the negative if I could

[Tewonda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not fond of "Dr. Phil" but love the no-nonsense approach to improving yourself as a way of improving ones relationships. Very insightful and I highly recommend it as a tool for self improvement whether you are in a relationship or not.

[Mariah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dr. Phil rambles, gives way to many kitschy aphorisms, etc. in this book just like he always does. He is excellent at marketing his ideas, though, and many chapters are as enticing and cute as a dating survey you must try in Cosmo. Because of this, he gets more than one star.

[Niswat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Huh? What were those seven steps again? Too hard to remember. Anyway this book basically told me that my marriage has no chance but of course I'm not going to follow THAT advice. Still it was highly readable and amusing.

[John Glover · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surprisingly good. He understands that men and woman are different - that's a good start. Unfortunately, it's typically American - there is too much hype and absolutely no grey areas. Also, everything is restated over and over.

[Joanne Gentiluomo]

I started this book years ago and while I really wasn't in a relationship, found it at times insightful. Those of you that know me know I finish what I start. It was kind of obvious and boring but onward shall we?

[Caitlin Trepp · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not in a romantic relationship but I still find the relationship strategies invaluable and applicable to the way I want to conduct my life. I love the ideas presented in this book. I am definitely a fan.

[Raejean · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book when I was frustrated with my relationship with some of my kids. I read it for the emphasis on getting things right with myself to help improve relationships. There's some very helpful resources in there.

[Mana · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is very practical to rescue your relationship with your patner.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book to give you tools in a realtionship.

[LaSchelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book to help with you all types of relationships, not just the romantic ones.