A Woman Is a Woman Until She Is a Mother: Essays

by Anna Prushinskaya

In A Woman Is a Woman Until She Is a Mother, Anna Prushinskaya explores the deep life shifts of pregnancy, birth and motherhood in the United States, a world away from the author’s Soviet homeland. Drawing from inspirations as various as midwife Ina May Gaskin, writer and activist Alice Walker, filmmaker Sophia Kruz and frontierswoman Caroline Henderson, Prushinskaya captures the inherent togetherness of motherhood alongside its accompanying estrangement. She plumbs the deeper waters of compassion, memory and identity, as well as the humorous streams of motherhood as they run up against the daily realities of work and the ever-present eye of social media. How will I return to my life? Prushinskaya asks, and answers by returning us to our own ordinary, extraordinary lives a little softer, a little wiser, and a little less certain of unascertainable things.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Essays, Parenting, Feminism, Memoir, Short Stories

93 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 7, 2017

Reviews

[Cyndi Skipper · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dry

I’m sure some might enjoy this book, but I found it to be very dry. I didn’t really feel any kind of connection with her, and I was truly hoping to sense something.

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Prushinskaya raises some intriguing ideas that definitely have me continuing to ponder. Otherwise, I was pretty disappointed by this book. At first, I figured that I wasn’t connecting to her story because I’ve never been pregnant or had children and so I couldn’t relate. But really, the best writing cultivates connection no matter the topic. So, I think this work is more of a commiseration between a mother and other women contemplating, attempting, or experiencing motherhood, rather than the profound dissection of womanhood vs/and motherhood that I was hoping for (especially because of the title - what a great one!) There are a few moments that come very close to being very good, but the rest is just ok or trying very hard and never hitting the mark. And worse, there was an unfortunate number of writing errors (missing letters and words mostly) especially in proportion to the length of the book, which really detracted from the artistry and mood that she was trying to create.

In general, this was interesting and a very quick read, but not particularly insightful or life-changing.

[Courtney · Rating 1 out of 5]

In all honestly only picked this because it was short and I thought I’d reach my 2024 reading goals 🥲🤣

[Ben · Rating 4 out of 5]

The stories have to be told.

More - http://www.changeyourlifethiswill.com...

[Gail · Rating 2 out of 5]

“A woman is an opening. A mother is a portal.”

As a mother myself…this collection of essays was disappointing and unrelatable. Found it pretentious, dry and mostly just sharing prolific people’s thoughts and ideas rather than sharing her own personal insights and reflections. For a book about motherhood, it lacked a lot of heart.

[Яна Хараланова · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are some good insights, but overall it's just generic.

[Karina · Rating 2 out of 5]

The writing failed to grab my attention from the very beginning, which made it hard for me to focus while listening to its audiobook and while also reading the ebook for some parts. This was mostly boring and I just wanted this to be over. I liked some of the ideas and knowing more about the author's personal experiences, and found some thoughts interesting - especially when talking about how it's like for first-time mothers. But a lot of the topics of the essays could have been further explored. Some might still enjoy this, but this is just okay for me.

[Margaret · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a very short collection of essays about motherhood and language. I wanted to like this more, but most of the essays didn't dig as deep as I like in essays. Wow, did we have different first-year experiences!

[Melissa Fisher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read as an audiobook and found it to be a thoughtful and relaxing listen.

[Courtney Karr · Rating 2 out of 5]

The transition into motherhood is full of depths, yet this book stays at the surface. Lesson: The Digital Age has narrowed the experience of pregnancy.

[Amy Alice · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this....until the last weird play thing. Beautiful essays on motherhood.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

A profound exploration of motherhood in "A Woman Is a Woman Until She Is a Mother" by Anna Prushinskaya. Delving into the transformation of a woman's identity, Prushinskaya addresses societal expectations, emotional complexities, and the joys of motherhood. She emphasizes the importance of balancing individuality with the role of a mother and building a solid support network. Prioritizing self-care, celebrating small victories, and fostering open communication are vital themes in navigating the challenges of motherhood. Prushinskaya's insights offer valuable guidance for women embracing the transformative journey of motherhood.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

It has some thought provoking insights, but as a whole the collection felt unsure of itself. It was neither broad enough to feel like an academic observation, nor emotionally powerful enough to revelatory. These essays each felt like the beginning or early draft of essays, but the author left off before digging deep enough. In particular, the essay on the quantified baby was fascinating, but I wanted more than the surface examination.

[Polina Washington · Rating 1 out of 5]

I listened to it, but perhaps reading it would have been better. Dry and uninteresting is the best way to describe it. I think a lot of this content could have been an article or weekly blog post, given that these were previously published separately. It could have been kept that way.
I am a mom, but nothing about the book was insightful or thought provoking. This is worth a skip.

[James Figy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anna Prushinskaya paints a beautiful and bitingly honest portrait of motherhood, the before and after. The book draws on the writing of Alice Walker and Anne Carson, advice from her own Russian grandmothers, and lessons with her doula to show the range of ideas about how a child comes into the world and the ways in which it changes a woman. Does the discomfort stop at birth or continue with sleep deprivation and pumping breastmilk in a supply closet at the office? Does she become more compassionate, more attuned to the pain of another human being? How can she not?
For Prushinskaya, though, being a writer complicates the matter. The day-to-day experiences become “material,” which either enriches or cheapens her relationship with her son. A peaceful afternoon listening to music with her son feels “so stock” she’d rather leave it out. “I judge myself for wanting to omit this life from an imprint of life, this essay," she writes. "Then, I judge myself for that, because I am a writer and I require honesty first and editing second.”
Either way, the prose is clear, flowing, and economical, each sentence saying something big with no extraneous words (e.g. “The author needn’t author the reader’s imagination”). The book also considers the decision not to have children, and the “public and unwelcome probing” it elicits. Discussing the book Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids, the author explores the choice (sometimes, other times accident, and still other times incredible struggle) to have a child. “It is funny to think about this careful, logical thinking in light of my current situation, standing next to the freezer and eating chocolate chips by the handful because I cannot stand to hear the baby cry," writes Prushinskaya. "Did I choose this particular situation?”

[Melia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This will be an author I look out for. This book showcased a lot of the type of craft that I look for in a writer. She was cerebral, thoughtful, and deeply inquisitive about aspects of our culture that we treat as a matter of course, namely in this case motherhood. I will say I think these essays were weighed down by the authors choice to frame her big questions (what does motherhood do to us? what does motherhood mean for women as a whole?) primarily through her personal experience of it.
The early chapters especially of this book show how well read the author is, particularly in feminist theory and literature, but her questions about this very female phenomenon are limited to how she felt as she experiences it. This leaves the book closer to memoir than essay, although be it a very short one focused on only 9 months of life.
I would have loved a second half to this rather small collection, one that delves deeper into why people choose to do this thing. Why undertake this bizarre ritual and all that comes with it, and also, why do we choose not to? I felt there was a big gap in the novel missing in the shape of child free women.

Prushinskaya also misses a big opportunity by not capitalizing more on her cross cultural background. Motherhood looks significantly different to her than it does to her female ancestors in Russia, Uzbekistan, and the various states of the Soviet union. If she had spent more time on this unique position, it could have given the message greater bite.

This is an essay collection with a lot of potential that I think could have been great with a wider scope.

[Ashleigh · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this was a beautifully written book of essays with a lot of potential, it just wasn't for me. My biggest problem with this essay collection is that the title is incredibly misleading. I was expecting a book that talks about how, in many societies, becoming a mother can sometimes erase your identity as a woman - or at least complicate or mute it - along with an exploration of the nuances that accompany this shift in identity. I don't think this topic is discussed or dissected often enough, so I was really looking forward to a thought-provoking essay collection only to finish the book disappointed. I would even have accepted looking at it through the lens of the biological changes that pregnancy and birth cause and been satisfied enough, but that's not what I got. These essays focused a lot on birth and pregnancy, and I guess kind of on motherhood, which I found unrelateable as someone who plans on never being pregnant and will likely not be having kids. Perhaps it's my fault for not reading the synopsis closely enough, but either way, I was underwhelmed by what I read and felt like the essays were just about a whole lot of rambling nothingness that was wrapped in pretty prose.

[Leah Angstman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting essays on immigration, pregnancy, and motherhood written in a poetic stream-of-consciousness Maggie Nelson-meets-Anne Carson way. Mostly dry, but at turns, humorous and light. Slightly haphazard, like jotting down notes that come to you at random. Especially good for new mothers who aren't feeling overly gushy about their babies, to feel a sense of kin in the world of practical compassion. A quick read, easy to digest in one sitting, and the audiobook version is especially listenable.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book of essays, which discusses impending motherhood and the complex identity shift that occurs when a woman becomes a mother, really resonated with me; I felt like I was reading my own thoughts, but much better worded. It's a very quick and engaging read and I'd recommend it to moms-to-be and new moms who are feeling introspective and trying to sort through the strange emotions that occur at this point in life.

[Whitney Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unlike some of the other reviews, I really enjoyed this book. Maybe it was that I listened to the audiobook, or that I’m a first time mom to a 10 month old girl, but this collection of essays is very relatable. Listening to another woman’s account on the thoughts and feelings of growing another human is deeply personal, but it really changes so much about you, no matter who you are. This was a completely comforting quick read for a new mom.

[Katey Allwell · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not my normal style, which is more the reason for the three star rating than anything else, but I did enjoy it. It took me back in time to when I first had Oscar and had me reflecting on how much my identity changed after he was born, and I guess will again after baby number two arrives. A beautiful collection of short and sweet thought provoking essays.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick read about Anna's journey from Woman to Mother. She touches on a variety of things I have encountered myself - it almost felt like I was reading my journal entries instead of her words (minus the aspects about her Russian heritage). A very real and personal read.

[Lyuba · Rating 2 out of 5]

A couple of good essays (the ones describing her actual experience) but overall this book fell short for me. There were a lot of external references to people that I didn't think added much to the narrative.

[Citlalli Martínez · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought it was going to be more "lecturing" and it was a nice surprise just to hear a "new mother's" thoughts. I liked the way she described herself during this process and the fact that is not a judgment.

[Han · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those books that I think I’d prefer to have the physical copy of. I could see myself coming back to this to reflect on in a different season of life and gaining a new sense of perspective from. Nonetheless, powerful and thought-provoking while still being so gentle.

[Alison · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was drawn to this book because of the title. As a mother, I am drawn towards hearing about other people's experiences on motherhood. This was a short group of essays and I felt that it had some interesting insight.

[Laurissa Larimer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought it was beautiful and there were sections by which I was quite captivated, I've returned to some. Yet, it was slightly underwhelming overall. Part of this may be because I was listening to it instead of reading, so maybe I didn't get the full effect.

[A. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This dug around in the realities of brand-new motherhood, with lyrical prose and eyes wide open. It was brutal and lovely at the same time.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoughtful, beautiful, and honest essays on motherhood

[Julia (Shakespeare and Such) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.3/5 stars, full review to come! I just love books about motherhood.

Organization : 4/5
Writing: 4/5
Enjoyment of subject/ideas: 5/5