Imperfect Control: Our Lifelong Struggles With Power and Surrender

by Judith Viorst

In her remarkable national bestseller, Necessary Losses, Judith Viorst explored how we are shaped by the various losses we experience throughout our lives. Now, in her wise and perceptive new book, Imperfect Control, she shows us how our sense of self and all our important relationships are colored by our struggles over over wanting it and taking it, loving it and fearing it, and figuring out when the time has come to surrender it.
Writing with compassion, acute psychological insight, and a touch of her trademark humor, Viorst invites us to contemplate the limits and possibilities of our control. She shows us how our lives can be shaped by our actions and our choices. She reminds us, too, that we sometimes should choose to let go. And she encourages us to find our own best balance between power and surrender.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction

448 pages, Paperback

First published January 5, 1998

About the author

Judith Viorst is an American writer, newspaper journalist, and psychoanalysis researcher. She is known for her humorous observational poetry and for her children's literature. This includes The Tenth Good Thing About Barney (about the death of a pet) and the Alexander series of short picture books, which includes Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (1972), which has sold over two million copies.
Viorst is a 1952 graduate of the Newark College of Arts and Sciences at Rutgers University in Newark, New Jersey. In 1968, she signed the "Writers and Editors War Tax Protest" pledge, vowing to refuse tax payments in protest against the Vietnam War. In the latter part of the 1970s, after two decades of writing for children and adults, Viorst turned to the study of Freudian psychology. In 1981, she became a research graduate at Washington Psychoanalytic Institute after six years of study.

Reviews

[John Nelson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book discusses our need for control over our lives, and various life events that challenge that control from early childhood through death. It provides a decent general discussion of the issue.

Near the outset, the author states that her intention is not to provide a 12-step program or discuss any specific emotional issue. This generality is both a strength and a weakness for the book. It is a strength because it helps to separate the book from the facile self-help books which seem to crowd the shelves. At the same time, it is a weakness because most readers of this type of book are hoping for insight on a specific problem or a particular person's behavior, and this book will not provide any answers.

[Aura Lucia · Rating 2 out of 5]

O carte care tratează nevoia noastră de a deține controlul de când de nastem, până în momentul în care intram în cuplu si devenim părinți.
Mi-ar fi plăcut sa aibă mai multe întrebări introspective și idei mai practice. Am simțit ca cineva îmi citeste o poveste si nu mă implica în nici un fel în poveste.

[Leslie Graff · Rating 2 out of 5]

While the author acknowledges this isn't a book about addressing the issues you may have with control, I found myself continually seeking that information. What is a healthy balance of control? It was like the whole book says "sometimes you want more control than you have." Okay, and....? Thorough coverage I suppose but left me feeling bored and wanting a different kind of book.

[Pcox · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book attempted to cover the entire waterfront and in doing so didn't provide a lot of depth or new insight for me.

[Isaac !!]

not this the unpublished memoir with similar name

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a dense book, not summer beach reading. It's important material that can be difficult to absorb, but Viorst breaks it down so the reader can manage the concepts. Even so, this is a book that I read for a while and then set down so I could think about what I had read. Then a little later, I'd pick up the book to read a few pages or more, and then I'd put it down.

This is an adult version of her Alexander books for children.

[Jean Gasca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read an earlier book by this author, Necessary Losses, which really helped me to deal with disappointment as I have gotten older and life has not always gone my way. In this book, Imperfect Control, she shows us how our sense of self and all our important relationships are colored by our struggles over control. I'm having to read it slowly with breaks, as it is a lot to digest, but it's fascinating to me because I love to read about human psychology, especially mine!

[Hella · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ik herinnerde me dit boek als zeer inzichtgevend, en wilde het daarom opnieuw lezen. Nu vond ik het een tamelijk dorre opsomming van alle manieren waarop we ons leven in de hand hebben (of denken / hopen / willen / proberen ...).

[Candace Whitney Morris]

started this a year ago, and really loved it. Voirst is rather meaty in this series of works, so it's a lot to digest. Alas, the seattle public library wanted it back and I never got to finish.

[Cecile · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm rereading it before I give it away; certain key chapters deserve a going over once more.

[Achille]

Dnf

[Pamela Strickland · Rating 4 out of 5]

well written, well researched, well balanced.