Learn to Take Control of Your Life, Through an In-Depth Understanding of What is motivation? Why do we feel totally paralyzed to do certain things, and utterly unable to quit others? Too many people conclude, falsely, that they are just lazy, or lacking in willpower. But what they lack is a correct understanding of their own minds, of motivation, and the way that it operates. This book is a self-help manual and a rigorous analysis of the psychology of motivation. It will teach you to stop procrastinating, kick your addictions, circumvent laziness, take control of your actions, and achieve your goals, by thoroughly understanding the way your mind works. In it, you’ll • What is the nature of motivation, on its deepest psychological level • Why addiction and procrastination are two sides of the same coin • Why there’s no fundamental difference between a physical and psychological addiction • Why willpower is rarely the solution to anything • Why and how emotions motivate You’ll also learn fifteen powerful strategies for motivating yourself, why they work, and how to apply them to your own life. By the end of this book, you’ll possess all the tools you need to take firm control of your daily existence.
Takeouts: The good: - Activation energy - The mental framework of motivation - Begin the Day with Low Pleasures The doubtful: - Laziness - isn't it laziness to explain people's proneness to oversleeping via laziness? Or, does laziness exist or is there some other underlying factor? Excluding laziness from existence as a phenom is one way to go here. Then again, can't we chalk a large part of all motivation-lacking problems to laziness?
Q: One of the best times you have for taking up a productive and complicated activity is shortly after you wake up. It is most common that a person wakes up in the morning in a neutral state of pleasure (experiencing no pleasure or displeasure), or even experiencing some residual pleasure from sleep. At that time, he can take up any activity that is at all pleasurable (even very slightly), since that still constitutes a gain in pleasure. If he experiences residual pleasure from having slept well, or a good mood from waking up to a gorgeous new day, he can fairly easily take up even unpleasant activities. In that case, one of the worst things he can do is default to a highly pleasurable, entertaining, and useless activity, such as watching TV or playing a videogame. Doing so, if even for just a few minutes, will set a precedent of pleasure from which it’ll be extremely difficult to move on to a more demanding and less pleasurable task. Of course the case of waking up is just a good example of a neutral (or slightly positive) state of pleasure; and starting the day with a highly pleasurable activity does not mean that the rest of that day is condemned to being entirely consumed by frivolous and highly pleasurable occupations. There are many things a person can do to restore himself to a neutral state of pleasure—such as going for a walk, or taking a shower, or having a meal, or a nap, or meditation. But it also isn’t uncommon that a pleasurable activity at the beginning of the day will snowball into a whole day wasted on immoderate leisure. In any case, we can conclude it a terrible idea to at any time preface a productive and not too pleasurable activity with a frivolous and more pleasurable one. This often works to discourage the person from taking up his initially intended task altogether, and may lead to a whole day of procrastination. It should also be noted that for the times when, or people who, wake up in a state of displeasure—their head hurts, or their bones ache, or they are feeling generally groggy—beginning the day with a productive and not very pleasurable activity is likely to be unsuccessful. Their main motivation, then, would be to get rid of their displeasure; and in that case, starting the day with a pleasurable, light-hearted activity may, on the contrary, be the best course of action—as long as it does relieve their displeasure, and gets them ready for a productive undertaking. (This includes watching an entertaining and stimulating video to relieve tiredness or grogginess, and taking a walk or a hot shower to relieve bodily pain.) This method of pleasure-modulation pertains to the pleasure incentive of the activity itself in a prospective activity. It is rooted in the relativity of pleasure, which makes slightly pleasurable activities attractive to a person in a neutral—that is, a bored—state, but unattractive to one who’s already experiencing (or has just experienced) a greater amount of pleasure from some other activity. (c)
Author seems passionate but the title is decieving
The title suggests that this book would be considering addiction, procrastination and laziness through the lenses of psychological theories and studies. This book offers little of that and instead feels like arm chair philosophy from a psychology undergrade. I feel like much of this book could probably be summed up in about 20-30 pages.
NO USE RUNNING, BETTER START EARLY! RIEN NE SERT DE COURIR, IL FAUT PARTIOR À POINT
An interesting approach of motivation in five cases of people who do not seem to be able to be motivated on what they have to do though they are absolutely and compulsively and obsessively motivated to do something that is failing their own interest. The five cases are
1- A procrastinator who always waits for the last minute to write his (it is a boy) papers and fulfill his assignments. 2- A gym-goer who wants to keep in shape but after a while, she (it is a girl) stops doing it and becomes demotivated. 3- A smoker who is not understood as being a man or a woman and who wants to stop smoking, plus vaporizing as an option or an alternative. 4- A video gamer who is living through on OCD addiction to videogames. He seems to be a boy 5- The sleeper, once again a boy, who just oversleeps all the time.
It is a practical book that may help some people who just want practical recipes to achieve a goal in these five situations. I have no authority to discuss these practical recipes or suggestions. But I will make a couple of remarks on the wider question of motivation. The word “conative,” which means “a wish, intention or effort to do something” is for me too weak. We are speaking of motivation which is based on the need to do something to achieve a goal; the mostly socialized obligation to do something in order to satisfy demands from the society around you; and the satisfaction you may experience when your task is completed. Then and only then there might be some pleasure, though I would prefer 1,000% the term satisfaction. By satisfying your duty, obligation, task and by satisfying social demands for you to do this or that, you experience personal satisfaction in proportion to the satisfaction you bring to other people.
For me, an educator, this is the central concept and frankly, pleasure is not the main motivating element. The concept of “pleasure unconscious” is nothing but a desexualized libido because Freud and other psychoanalysts have oversexualized this concept of libido. At the same time, the concept of the unconscious is itself oversexualized by Freud and other psychoanalysts. So, it does not solve the problem and the insistence in several chapters on onanism as a distraction from real pleasure only governed and commanded by the pleasure unconscious of the onanist is for me beyond reasonable understanding. Pleasure is not the proper term because pleasure can be disruptive as the author shows. The proper term is satisfaction. When you are hungry you satisfy that hunger by eating just what you need. Beyond you eat for no reason at all except an OCD drive that does not even bring pleasure really, only some morbid – I insist morbid – over-eating. The worst case is, of course, the case of an addiction, like tobacco or it could be sweet candy or alcohol. And there in this approach, I am afraid the objective is not to free the individual of the addiction itself, but only to bring him to some kind of socially acceptable control of his addiction.
The patches are not supposed to be a substitute for cigarettes, but unluckily they are for many people and thus fail or relapse is common after a while. The vaporizer is even worse since it normally weans the subject from nicotine, but it just keeps him addicted to the gesture and this gesture which is body language for oneself and for the people around is an addiction too. The smoker is not free to do what he wants. He is addicted to a periodical and regular compulsory obsessive gesture that may last as long as he wants. In the same way, an alcoholic is trained by some doctors and even hospitals into shifting from alcohol to some other beverage like water, coffee, tea, coca cola, any soft drink, or energy drinks, or whatever that is drunk. And once again the real addiction attached to the gesture of drinking is kept just as obsessive and compulsive as it was when the alcoholic was an alcoholic. In those two cases, it explains how easily relapse is.
The gymgoer is a different case because if this physical activity to remain fit is shared with someone the satisfaction is multiplied since it is pleasurable to do something with someone else, it is satisfying to do something for oneself, to help someone else to do something for themselves and to be helped by someone else to do something for oneself. It is typically socially-shared satisfaction, and satisfaction, first of all, that may bring some pleasure.
The cases the author takes about pleasure become absurd if you look at them in terms of satisfaction. If you find pleasure in any form of shared or onanistic pleasure-seeking activity – which is quite natural since this activity is pleasure-seeking – you are not going to say afterward to your partner: “Well, I have satisfied my matrimonial duties, and now I can go back to serious activities.” And it is always true. An alcoholic is not going to say after drinking a whole bottle of Bourbon (he could not even be able to think anyway): “Now I have satisfied this drinking of one full bottle of Bourbon, I can go back to something more constructive.” It would ignore the very principle of addiction: it fulfills a certain behavior, gesture, and action, and it brings no real pleasure because that pleasure is an illusion, an artificial paradise: it is mental onanism. I am afraid the author is aware of this and tries to tell people there are easy solutions, though he knows there is none. Like for the sleeper at the very end: he might be someone who has to sleep more than the norm, so “Coffee might help!” The man is addicted to sleeping, physiologically and mentally addicted to sleeping and the author only suggests another addiction to coffee which could become very fast very dangerous (ulcers, heart problems, and social behavior).
That’s the elements that really bother me. The problems are not solved in any way they are displaced, in fact, transferred from one unacceptable attitude or action or addiction to another acceptable attitude or action or addiction. From my own experience with learners of all types, such problems as those examined here are the result of a social shortcoming in the education of people, when they are young as much as when they are older. It never is considered as being self-learning. Everything is a set of objectives given to the individual with the order to perform them in due time. But the objectives are not those set by the learners themselves according to what they like doing and with a certain guidance from other people, a group of peers or a “guide/counselor” who just follows the learners from afar and yet from close enough to make sure the motivation does not go down, which it should not do if the objectives are those set by the learners themselves from what they like. Michel de Montaigne in the Renaissance explained that mathematics is essential in the education of a person who will be a trader, a merchant, a shopkeeper, etc., but learning mathematics can come from playing cards as well as from managing a herd of sheep. And if the learners are concentrating on what they like and what they consider as their own objectives, the objectives deep in themselves they have come to believe they are their own and that dictate their behavior and actions, there should be no motivation problem, hence no procrastination and no addiction
I was happy to be given the e-book for an honest read and review by the author.
With that said, I have a suspecting suspicious feeling the people who did NOT like this book as told in some of the reviews may either NOT maintain recovery from addictions or they just didn't read the whole BOOK. I am a person who maintains recovery from gambling addiction now 11 years and can tell you the author "hit the NAIL on the HEAD!"
The book and guide could have been shortened with a few areas of restating the same info, and maybe it could have been structured better, but the meat of this book is a NEEDED in-depth look as to why and how many seeking to recover or are in recovery from addiction or maybe even wanting to "better themselves" in life can become "stuck" and not know HOW to move forward. This book explains some of the roots to that "laziness." We all come to a fork in the road within our recovery journies and think? "what next?" However, most of the time they really haven't done ALL the work that is required to make it in long-term recovery. IT IS THAT SIMPLE!
And that is what the author clearly explains and shares some of what is needed to do so. It truly is a common sense approach and in easy written understanding. He tells us in no uncertain terms that recovery is a "Lifetime Journey.
And the author plainly explains why. Many don't like to "Look In The Mirror" of their "Bad habits and behaviors" that are gained when you are an addict of any kind. Overall I give it a 4 Stars! As "I Got The Message!"
The title sounded interesting. When I started reading the book I immediately found the writing style abstruse and convoluted. After reading a sentence I had to reread it to try figuring out what was being said. Often I was not able to make sense of the writing. I originally thought that I was tired and not concentrating well. I tried reading it several more times and each time ended with the same frustration. As a psychologist, I am interested in the psychology of motivation. Unfortunately I cannot say what the author thinks about this topic or comment on its usefulness. I was highly disappointed in this dead end.
temel düzeyde motivasyon eksikliği ve erteleme problemi yaşayanlar için çok etkili çözüm yolları sunduğu muhakkak, ama aşırı düşünme ve mükemmeliyetçiliğin eşlik ettiği daha "ağır" durumlar için yetersiz, dolayısıyla aradığımı bulamadım.
I was skeptical. I’d read the couple reviews that described it as a ‘bait and switch’ loving the sample but not the rest of the book. I agree that the author uses a lot of unnecessarily complicated language to get his points across. I am someone that has struggled with this kind of thing for years and become a downright guru for coming up with and quickly seeing right thru the common tricks (tell yourself you’ll just start for 15 minutes! Ha! It’s never ever just 15 minutes). The logical process followed to arrive at the conclusions he does really resonate with me. Even when his suggestions didn’t quite fit, the process allowed me to come up with my own new strategies that have so far at least made a dent. I have the ADD so sometimes these books on organization and procrastination and such are unhelpful to the point of counter productive but this one manages to practically sidestep the whole issue and come at the problem from a new angle. It’s probably not for everyone but I liked it.
Some of the psychological aspects in the book are interesting inasmuch as providing food for thought and a launching point for further research. Beyond that, the author inflicted way too much circumlocution on me. I found myself often re-reading sentences to figure out what the hell he was going on about. Two and a half stars for the root concepts, but I can’t recommend this as publication worthy of your time. I’m sure more effectual books exist on this topic.
Psikonet'in kitaplarını normalde çok severim ama bu kesinlikle olmamış, benim elimdeki 4. baskı olmasına rağmen düzeltilmemiş. Yazım ve noktalama hatalarıyla, anlatım bozukluğuyla dolu olduğu için 100 sayfalık kitabı tekrar tekrar anlamaya çalışarak okumaktan bir türlü bitiremedim. Kitabın anlattığı şeyler güzel ama kendinizde okumayı devam ettirecek motivasyonu bulabilirseniz.
Ouch. Thought this title and book is timely with technology doing so much for us these days/providing instant gratification -- That Addiction, Procrastination and Laziness may be becoming epidemic and this book would shed some light on coping with technology's omnipresence but man-o-man -- I could not get to chapter 5 in this 100+ page silly book. It seems it's written by a frat boy trying to justify or excuse his own oversleeping, drinking, masturbating, video gaming which he repeatedly references and seems to always use the pronoun 'he'. There are some sweeping statements that the author presents as fact.
He has an amazing understanding of human motivation.
One warning here: he goes comfortably deep, yet uncomfortably shallow. But, he gets the job done with this book and gets it done fully. This is a recommended read.
Çeviri yüzünden yer yer anlaşılır olmaktan çıksa da örnekleri ve taktikleriyle derli toplu iyi bir kaynak olmuş. Bu sorunları-erteleme, bir türlü başlayamama, eğlenceli etkinlikten kopamama- yaşıyorsanız tavsiye ederim.
Not: 2. baskıda çeviri sorunu düzeltilmiş, daha anlaşılır olmuş, kesinlikle 2. baskıyı alın.
‘Nearly all self-observant persons will concede that they are not in full control of their behavior.’
New York author Roman Gelperin describes himself as ‘an author, biographer, philosopher, and forever a student of the human mind.’ He earned his BA in Psychology from Stony Brook University, and lives in Brooklyn, NY. ADDICTION, PROCRASTINATION, AND LAZINESS is his debut in publishing.
One of the many aspects that make Roman book so accessible to the reader is his quality of relating. In his Introductory comments he states, ‘I wrote this short book back in 2013, after beating my head painfully, persistently against the thick wall of my motivational problems, and finally breaking out into full understanding, acceptance, and self-control. I dealt with these issues the same way I deal, and recommend dealing, with all psychological troubles: through introspection—that is, by paying attention to the subtle workings of one’s own mind, identifying the roots of the problem, and devising the corresponding solution. I wrote this book as a type of self-help manual, targeting the most common motivational problems in the world today, against which most people end up wrecking themselves, but that can be easily and effectively solved by a correct understanding of their own minds. Other than quitting cigarettes, I intimately experienced all the motivational problems described in this book.’
Roman organizes his book into seven parts - Anomalies in Human Behavior (procrastination, loss of motivation, cigarette addiction, videogame addiction, oversleeping – each presented in the form of a patient), Unraveling the mystery (the act and the result), The psychological nature of motivation, How the pleasure unconscious operates, The mental framework of motivation, The strategies in our toolbox, and Applying what we’ve learned. In this framework he addresses the similarity between addiction and procrastination, how and why emotions motivate, and as a final graduation cap – fifteen strategies for self-motivation.
Smart, pertinent and very useful, this little book is more than a self-help book (though it is that, too); this is a book that successfully combines psychology and philosophy.
What this book is about? Among the very few books I read twice was this one. It is the best book for people who want to know how to get rid of bad habits that are unproductive, detrimental to our lives but that are nonetheless pleasurable. The theory propounded in this books is irrefutable and strikes a chort with anyone who went through these bad habits. Roman covers mainly 4 composite characters with their own vices: 1 Person 1 : is addicted to smoking 2 Person 2: is addicted to oversleeping 3 Person 3: is addicted to video games or you can say the internet as a whole 4 Person 4 : is a master procrastinator
So if you are suffering from one of these vices or seek to get out of them this books is your god-sent medicine.
The pleasure theory The author postulates that these 4 people are addicted to these things because they derive pleasure from them. 1 smoking makes one feel calm and cool 2 oversleeping helps us escape the harsh reality of consciousness and there is this anticipation of a great dream 3 video games and the internet makes us excited, giving us a kick, and always anticipating for the next kick 4 procrastination allows us to get a high by going against the right thing to do, and provides the anticipation of the next big kick that comes from doing things in the 12th hour
The 3 step resolution The author proposes that in order to overcome these vices one must follow 3 steps: 1 Desire to change old bad habit 2 Contemplating Consequences of old bad habit 3 Develop a full process the nullify old bad habit and promote new good habit
Tasting a higher pleasure The whole point of these 3 step is to unlearn the lower old taste and acquire a higher better taste. Lower means here a taste that is harmful and higher means one that is beneficial.
Will power vs the 3 steps People tend to say good habits are a product of strong will power. The author rightly proves us that singly will power can’t bring change. Process is key. If the process is well designed, even a weak will powered person can achieve the right habits.
For example lets say you want to quit smoking. You can will as much as you want but you will lapse again into the hold habit simply because of the ‘pleasure unconscious’ property of the mind.
Now if we follow the 3 steps we will achieve change: 1 desire: first you must strongly regret you old ways and the harm it was caused to you and others around you 2 consequence: you must play and replay the consequence of not changing in your mind until you are almost getting anxiety panic attacks upon seeing cigarettes or even thinking of them but still that is not enough to develop hatred. 3 process: now you must use one of more of the following processe: - hide your cigarettes - don’t hang out with smokers - avoid your old route where you used to buy cigarettes - to get the calm provided by nicotine, you need to replace with another substance temporarily at least like coffee - reward yourself with every sober days with a ‘tick’ on wall calendar - punish yourself if you fail with a predetermined punishment like skipping a dinner
Within a 30 days or so you will begin to develop a new taste: one of self-discipline induced kick, better health, no regret related to smoking. Until you had tried in the last 30 days, you could talk about this new higher taste but you could not know you. Now it is a reality and nothing in the world will make you want to go back to the lower taste.
Conclusion This book encompasses deep philosophies congruent with the Bhagvad Gita, although the writer must have no clue about it. However all the truths found by great men all converge to one single point of origin.
How is it useful to you in your : Life This book is really about living a better life. It is about designing your own life and not letting the media, people around you and your lower self decide what you will like and dislike. Using the 3 steps in this book you can transform yourself into a superman of good habits killing all the villains of bad habits.
Business x
Careers x
Conclusion At last
As I had mentioned in my earlier weekly book review I am now giving training to students from 10+2 who are between 16 to 20. Having counseled each of the 1500 students one by one, I was overwhelmed by their innocence and their openness to discuss any problems they are facing that prevent them from studying.
I have always been a naturally gifted person to change my habits and try out higher and higher tastes. To be it was so easy. But I realized only in this season that people don’t know how to do transform. Why? Simply because no one shared to me this problem. If they had may be I would have found the solution earlier and codified my own expertise at self transformation.
That is the results of teaching older people. After they cross 20 most people give up any hope that they can change, unlearn old bad habits. To them these habits become part of their reality. It is so sad.
So with a bad habit of overthinking, anxiety, laziness, addiction, anger, they get into the work force, some become doctors, some become CEO’s. Then we have people torn and broken inside, in control of the resources of the world like Vladimir Putin.
I am happy that I found out the truth of the inner life of humanity, one that I was not aware of from these kids.
I hope I will be able to help more and more of them because I realize my life will be spent better by coaching them than old CEO’s.
But also in my CEO coaching career I realize that the learning I got from this project will help me connect to all these leaders more deeply because inside all of them, there is a teen who went un-helped.
Here is a writer who knows your name and your most irritating secret habit. Very common sense analysis, in the simplest terms, of the title problems. I speak as a teacher of undergrad psych, and what I tell students is: psychology has two facets. One of them is stuff you've known all your life, because you already have a mind. The other is stuff you would never believe, because the brain is moving too fast for anything that seems intuitive to be possible. This book comes from both places.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Normally, when I dislike a book, I avoid leaving reviews at all. We don't have to like the same books! However, in this case I have decided to leave a one star review simply to warn people off who may be looking for a self-help book. This is not that book. This is so exceptionally academic! Boring! With no real tangible suggestions. There may be suggestions but they are hidden in amongst the full theoretical language. This book reads more like a phD thesis than a how-to. I expected so much more but got nothing. Disappointed.
Her sayfasının dolu dolu olduğunu düşündüğüm ve ağır ağır okuduğum bir kitaptı. Başlangıçta hiçbir beklentim yoktu, sadece fazlasıyla muzdarip olduğum erteleme davranışına yönelik daha fazla bilgi edinmeyi planlıyordum ki bu konuda okuduğum ilk kitap olduğunu düşünürsek beni tatmin etti (kitap hakkındaki kötü yorumlar bir an acaba aynı kitabı mı okuduk dedirttiği için belirtme ihtiyacı hissettim, belki ben henüz alana yeterince hakim olmadığım için yeterli gelmiştir). İleride kitabı ikinci kez, bu sefer notlar çıkararak, okumayı planlıyorum.
The book was a difficult read and did not have much scientific data to back it up. Instead it leaned on what seems like personal experience and subjective analysis of problem behaviors. Besides encouraging one to think deeply of ones own troublesome behavior and to then think deeply of solutions this book does very little in the way of systematically tackling addiction procrastination and laziness.
why we get so addicted to bad habits and techniques that actually work to break the cycle.
The problems caused by unhealthy habits is solved with reframing the ways we view and feel emotionally when we engage in the cycle of addictions. The book gives everyone that really wants to break their bad habit real hope. No willpower technique just simple changes that will be a challenge but not impossible once you've gotten to read this.
Started well, middle was quite a few simplistic examples repeated, no real advice at the end other than things you've probably heard before. Drink coffee to rev yourself up, eat the frog (do the thing you don't want to before pleasurable things), etc. The audible book is not good, with too many distracting footnotes.
As a person who has studied very little psychology, i enjoyed the introduction to motivation offered in the book. The examples are simple and easy to read. I think real life situations is more complex and solutions less simple than presented here, however, the tools presented could work for alot of people facing motivational issues.
This book can teach you a thing or two about the psychology behind our addictions, procrastination and laziness. Basically it boils down to pleasure. That’s it basically. I somewhat enjoyed it and found it helpful but it’s very repetitive so it becomes boring pretty quick.
I procrastinated finishing a book about procrastination. That’s just another level for you right there.
Book is very informative with help of few example. It gives a complete view of how our brain works when coming to achieve some results. If you want to know how it works then this book is for you. Not recommended for those who likes to know a way to stop these things