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The Ultimate Guide for Gay Dads: Everything You Need to Know About LGBTQ Parenting But Are (Mostly) Afraid to Ask
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If you are thinking of becoming a gay dad ─ or if you are already a gay dad ─ this book is for you!
Are you ready to have kids? More and more gay men are turning to adoption and surrogacy to start their own families. An estimated two million American LBGTQ people would like to adopt and an estimated 65,000 adopted children are living with a gay parent. In 2016, The Chicago Tribune reported that 10 to 20 percent of donor eggs went to gay men expanding their families via surrogacy, and in many places the numbers were up 50 percent from the previous five years.
Gay parenting: Having a kid is like coming out all over again, on a daily basis, especial if you have an infant. Was coming out stressful for you? It’s about to get more intense and you will have a child watching your every move and listening to your every word. If you stutter or pause, they may pick up on your discomfort and could start to feel like something is wrong about their family unit. The Ultimate Guide For Gay Dads is jam packed with parenting tips and advice to help you build confidence and become the awesome gay dad you were meant to be!
How Is This Parenting Guide Different From Others? Unlike other parenting books that have whole chapters focusing on things specifically related to mothers (such as how to get the perfect latch when breastfeeding), this parenting book replaces those sections with things relevant to gay dads. It covers topics like how to find LGBT friendly pediatricians, how to find LGBT friendly schools, how to childproof your home with style, how to answer awkward and prying questions about your family from strangers, examples for what two-dad families can do on Mother’s Day, and much more. The book also includes parenting tips and advice from pediatricians, school educators, lawyers, and other same-sex parents.
Top LGBT parenting expert: Bestselling author Eric Rosswood covers every aspect of fatherhood for gay men in this essential guide to growing your family in the post-DOMA era. He is a major influencer on social media with over 100,000 followers on Twitter alone, as well as thousands on other platforms.
Exploring LGBTQ issues: Rosswood is an in-demand authority and commentator on LGBTQ issues, including civil rights, parenting, marriage and politics. The author has been featured in major media including The Washington Post, Cosmopolitan, CBS News, The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, Yahoo! News, AOL News, NY Daily News, IB Times, and regional LGBTQ press.
If you are thinking of becoming a gay dad ─ or if you are already a gay dad ─ this book is for you!
Are you ready to have kids? More and more gay men are turning to adoption and surrogacy to start their own families. An estimated two million American LBGTQ people would like to adopt and an estimated 65,000 adopted children are living with a gay parent. In 2016, The Chicago Tribune reported that 10 to 20 percent of donor eggs went to gay men expanding their families via surrogacy, and in many places the numbers were up 50 percent from the previous five years.
Gay parenting: Having a kid is like coming out all over again, on a daily basis, especial if you have an infant. Was coming out stressful for you? It’s about to get more intense and you will have a child watching your every move and listening to your every word. If you stutter or pause, they may pick up on your discomfort and could start to feel like something is wrong about their family unit. The Ultimate Guide For Gay Dads is jam packed with parenting tips and advice to help you build confidence and become the awesome gay dad you were meant to be!
How Is This Parenting Guide Different From Others? Unlike other parenting books that have whole chapters focusing on things specifically related to mothers (such as how to get the perfect latch when breastfeeding), this parenting book replaces those sections with things relevant to gay dads. It covers topics like how to find LGBT friendly pediatricians, how to find LGBT friendly schools, how to childproof your home with style, how to answer awkward and prying questions about your family from strangers, examples for what two-dad families can do on Mother’s Day, and much more. The book also includes parenting tips and advice from pediatricians, school educators, lawyers, and other same-sex parents.
Top LGBT parenting expert: Bestselling author Eric Rosswood covers every aspect of fatherhood for gay men in this essential guide to growing your family in the post-DOMA era. He is a major influencer on social media with over 100,000 followers on Twitter alone, as well as thousands on other platforms.
Exploring LGBTQ issues: Rosswood is an in-demand authority and commentator on LGBTQ issues, including civil rights, parenting, marriage and politics. The author has been featured in major media including The Washington Post, Cosmopolitan, CBS News, The Huffington Post, Elite Daily, Yahoo! News, AOL News, NY Daily News, IB Times, and regional LGBTQ press.
248 pages, Paperback
First published October 24, 2017
37 people are currently reading
193 people want to read
About the author
Eric Rosswood
15 books83 followersEric Rosswood is a commentator on LGBTQ+ issues including civil rights, parenting, marriage, and politics. He has led panels on LGBTQ+ parenting for organizations such as Family Equality and the Modern Family Alliance. His bestselling book, Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood, won numerous awards including the best Parenting/Family/Relationships book in the IAN Book of the Year Awards, the best Parenting book in the Readers’ Favorite Book Awards, and the best LGBTQ Non-Fiction book in the International Best Book Awards. His picture book, STRONG, co-written with Rob Kearney with illustrations by Nidhi Chanani, received the Stonewall Honor from the American Library Association.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
April 20, 2018
This book was a really fantastic resource for my husband and me as we became new dads. So many books for new parents are geared for straight couples and women specifically, with large focuses on topics such as nursing and taking care of the baby while recovering from labor/c-section that were not relevant to us. This book really cuts to the chase and addresses both universal parenting questions (what baby products are really necessary?) and issues and questions that are specific to gay parents, such as suggestions on how to address awkward or discriminatory questions from strangers when out with the baby in public, and how to navigate legal issues such as pre-birth order for surrogacy. We continue referring to this book now that our baby has joined the family. Highly recommended.
July 26, 2019
Yeah, I know, I’m not a gay dad. But I saw this book on the audiobook catalogue and thought “My god I have to read this.” If I ever am gonna read a parenting book, it’d have to be one with a LGBT focus, and this book is great.
Topics range from ones anyone should know, such as how to change a diaper or how to baby proof a room, to topics important for gay men in particular, such as “how do you respond to overly prying questions,” “how to change a diaper when the men’s restroom doesn’t have a changing table,” “how to find a LGBT friendly school/pediatrician,” or “everything you need to know if you have a girl and she’s going through puberty.” Many of these questions are important to anyone, like single men or parents of LGBT children, so there’s no reason why only gay men could get something out of this book.
Anyways, great book, and definitely a top recommendation to any of my queer friends who are thinking of having kids one day.
Topics range from ones anyone should know, such as how to change a diaper or how to baby proof a room, to topics important for gay men in particular, such as “how do you respond to overly prying questions,” “how to change a diaper when the men’s restroom doesn’t have a changing table,” “how to find a LGBT friendly school/pediatrician,” or “everything you need to know if you have a girl and she’s going through puberty.” Many of these questions are important to anyone, like single men or parents of LGBT children, so there’s no reason why only gay men could get something out of this book.
Anyways, great book, and definitely a top recommendation to any of my queer friends who are thinking of having kids one day.
March 7, 2019
Found this absolute gem in the library.
Gave it a read, and I'd definitely recommend this for any dads who might need help.
Nothing misogynistic either! Believe me, I was very worried about misogynistic comments, but it was very respectful of women and female bodies. My only criticism was that the part addressing helping a child through female puberty was a little thin.
Bonus: it has a gold mine of LGBT children's books at the end!!!
Gave it a read, and I'd definitely recommend this for any dads who might need help.
Nothing misogynistic either! Believe me, I was very worried about misogynistic comments, but it was very respectful of women and female bodies. My only criticism was that the part addressing helping a child through female puberty was a little thin.
Bonus: it has a gold mine of LGBT children's books at the end!!!
July 1, 2024
Fantastic book! Very inclusive of every important question I had about being a first time (gay) dad.
I will find myself coming back to this book every time a question pops up and I need a reminder.
I will find myself coming back to this book every time a question pops up and I need a reminder.
November 21, 2020
This book was a great resource for me as a writer. I learned a lot about how lgbtq families create themselves from scratch. Definitely recommend.
October 31, 2025
A great resource for gay men interested in becoming parents
November 11, 2025
good overall general basis
October 25, 2017
I absolutely loved this book! Not only is it loaded with important legal instructions and practical information about parenting but it enlightened me about the added challenges gay dads face on a daily basis. I laughed at the author’s experience with exploding diapers...something all parent can relate to! Highly recommend!!
December 5, 2017
This is the most comprehensive guide I have ever seen. When I became a dad, I read several books for new parents, but they all address it from a mom’s perspective. Or, from the perspective of a dad who is “supporting” mom. But as gay dads, our dynamics are very different!
I love this book because the author is very chill and laid back. He doesn’t raise your anxiety even more, telling you to look out for every little thing. Though he addresses it all, he gives you a summary that has all the necessary info, and also gives you a heads up when you need to look out for certain things, and when to just relax.
The book also includes short real-life experiences from gay dads. It was really interesting to read how different families deal with mother’s day, or with well-intentioned but weird questions about your family. It has good info on what documents you need as a family with 2 dads. It also addresses important questions such as how to pick a sensitive school, and what questions to ask them beforehand. There’s also a whole section about how to help your daughter with female specific situations. An important read!
I wish every new gay dad would have this book. Eric Rosswood did an amazing job bringing so many topics together. Most topics apply specifically to gay dads, but then there are several chapters that would benefit any new parent (like how to deal with explosive poop, or how to travel with your baby).
This is an awesome book! It makes me so happy to see it. It was about time!!
I love this book because the author is very chill and laid back. He doesn’t raise your anxiety even more, telling you to look out for every little thing. Though he addresses it all, he gives you a summary that has all the necessary info, and also gives you a heads up when you need to look out for certain things, and when to just relax.
The book also includes short real-life experiences from gay dads. It was really interesting to read how different families deal with mother’s day, or with well-intentioned but weird questions about your family. It has good info on what documents you need as a family with 2 dads. It also addresses important questions such as how to pick a sensitive school, and what questions to ask them beforehand. There’s also a whole section about how to help your daughter with female specific situations. An important read!
I wish every new gay dad would have this book. Eric Rosswood did an amazing job bringing so many topics together. Most topics apply specifically to gay dads, but then there are several chapters that would benefit any new parent (like how to deal with explosive poop, or how to travel with your baby).
This is an awesome book! It makes me so happy to see it. It was about time!!
May 29, 2023
Fantastic!!! The kind of book I was looking for and that I would highly recommend to any other gay dads out there.
I started out my dad-to-be read spree with some boring, horribly written or incomplete books that at least didn't cover it all. And I wish I had started my reading spree with this one, it's fantastic.
One thing I learned so far, is that you'll need lots of different books, plus lots of common sense and questions to your health practitioner to be fully prepared. Some books will focus on pregnancy, some in the care of the baby, and some others in how to be a parent, and some others a little bit of everything. This book focuses on the caring of your baby/toddler/young child and understand everything you need to success on it, and on how to deal with the many struggles you'll find as a gay dad. It does walk you through some legalities relating to the US (like taking time off). I'm from the UK, but still helped me to think where to start looking and what sort of questions I need to get answered, which I hadn't thought about until reading his book.
And, while briefly, it also talks you through about the different options on how you became a dad (adoption/surrogacy) and the possible circumstances it might bring with it and how to deal with it all and the many questions you might need to brace yourself from people out there. I found these topics one of the most instructional, since most books are written for straight couples.
I definitely found this book to be one of the best books out there for me. And not just because it's obviously written for gay dads. But because it's written with such bluntness and honesty. It goes to the point and it covers more topics than I thought it would. Some of the lines and full paragraphs are just hilarious and made it fun to read, while being instructional and not losing its intended goal... prepare you to be a gay dad.
The book wonderfully covers everything you can be fully or partially in control when it comes to be a dad. From knowing how to best pick on milk options; items you should have and which ones you definitely won't need to spend a dime on; choosing how to be called by the child, however, whether the child agrees with your decision, that's another matter; what ways you can choose to open up with your kids about your sexuality and how this could be an issue with things like doctors, schools, parenting groups; gets you ready in case you become a dad to a girl and how to potentially deal best with topics such as puberty, bras, menstruation... Honestly the list of what this book covers is endless.
I wouldn't think it twice. Just get this book!! You won't regret it, not one bit.
I started out my dad-to-be read spree with some boring, horribly written or incomplete books that at least didn't cover it all. And I wish I had started my reading spree with this one, it's fantastic.
One thing I learned so far, is that you'll need lots of different books, plus lots of common sense and questions to your health practitioner to be fully prepared. Some books will focus on pregnancy, some in the care of the baby, and some others in how to be a parent, and some others a little bit of everything. This book focuses on the caring of your baby/toddler/young child and understand everything you need to success on it, and on how to deal with the many struggles you'll find as a gay dad. It does walk you through some legalities relating to the US (like taking time off). I'm from the UK, but still helped me to think where to start looking and what sort of questions I need to get answered, which I hadn't thought about until reading his book.
And, while briefly, it also talks you through about the different options on how you became a dad (adoption/surrogacy) and the possible circumstances it might bring with it and how to deal with it all and the many questions you might need to brace yourself from people out there. I found these topics one of the most instructional, since most books are written for straight couples.
I definitely found this book to be one of the best books out there for me. And not just because it's obviously written for gay dads. But because it's written with such bluntness and honesty. It goes to the point and it covers more topics than I thought it would. Some of the lines and full paragraphs are just hilarious and made it fun to read, while being instructional and not losing its intended goal... prepare you to be a gay dad.
The book wonderfully covers everything you can be fully or partially in control when it comes to be a dad. From knowing how to best pick on milk options; items you should have and which ones you definitely won't need to spend a dime on; choosing how to be called by the child, however, whether the child agrees with your decision, that's another matter; what ways you can choose to open up with your kids about your sexuality and how this could be an issue with things like doctors, schools, parenting groups; gets you ready in case you become a dad to a girl and how to potentially deal best with topics such as puberty, bras, menstruation... Honestly the list of what this book covers is endless.
I wouldn't think it twice. Just get this book!! You won't regret it, not one bit.
January 19, 2018
This is an extremely comprehensive book that talks lightheartedly about the sometimes gross and chaotic realities of being a parent, but it addresses several serious topics: the struggles of getting paternity leave when you're not out at work, the difficulties that come with trying to get both fathers' names on a birth certificate, discrimination in "mom and tots" parenting groups, etc. It also discusses the implications of being a gay, male parent and the subsequent assumptions society makes when they see two men with a small child and no women in the picture. Important stuff. I will note that it is cis-centric in the assumption that all gay dads don't have breasts and need to adopt/have a surrogate, but that's to be expected for a book like this, honestly -- it's not like, offensive enough to make me knock off a star.
I also really appreciated their treatment of women when addressing the topic of gender roles in relationships -- they definitely imparted some wisdom that straight people could benefit from:
Overall, a really quick and informative read, I'd highly recommend it to any soon-to-be fathers or anyone who's interested in reading about an underrepresented part of the LGBTQ community.
I also really appreciated their treatment of women when addressing the topic of gender roles in relationships -- they definitely imparted some wisdom that straight people could benefit from:
"Who does all the mommy stuff?"
This question is horrible because it implies that it's a woman's job to do certain things like cooking, cleaning, feeding babies, and changing diapers.
Overall, a really quick and informative read, I'd highly recommend it to any soon-to-be fathers or anyone who's interested in reading about an underrepresented part of the LGBTQ community.
January 5, 2023
A short quick resource. As with all parenting advice, it will conflict with lots of other advice you've read/are given. The taking care of a baby aspect of it are probably a better resource for intended parents that are nervous about how to care for a baby. For example, the step by step diaper instructions might be helpful if you're worried you won't know how to change a diaper, but you'll be changing enough of them you'll figure it out pretty quick.
In terms of the gay specific advice about how to handle nosy people, it was mostly terrifying that people are actually going to feel comfortable asking that (but then we once had a waitress tell us she didn't know how to pour wine for because she didn't know who would be taking advantage of whom....so maybe not). It's good to know that we should have some answers ready to go. I was amused to see that some of my quips, "How much did the baby cost you? 18 years" were in the suggested responses, so mostly I think we got this!
In terms of the gay specific advice about how to handle nosy people, it was mostly terrifying that people are actually going to feel comfortable asking that (but then we once had a waitress tell us she didn't know how to pour wine for because she didn't know who would be taking advantage of whom....so maybe not). It's good to know that we should have some answers ready to go. I was amused to see that some of my quips, "How much did the baby cost you? 18 years" were in the suggested responses, so mostly I think we got this!
August 5, 2025
My biggest gripe with this book is that it starts by promising to discuss problems unique to gay dads but then includes chapters on universal baby product recommendations.
The anecdotes and stories were helpful, and I appreciated the chapter on answering difficult questions unique to gay parents. However, that was the main positive of the book and the only truly unique aspect to it. I appreciated the thoughts on navigating social conventions and discussing female role models as well.
The book is short, snappy and doesn’t overstay its welcome, but calling it an ultimate guide is a stretch. It would have been great to delve deeper into stories from gay parents that relate to the themes.
The anecdotes and stories were helpful, and I appreciated the chapter on answering difficult questions unique to gay parents. However, that was the main positive of the book and the only truly unique aspect to it. I appreciated the thoughts on navigating social conventions and discussing female role models as well.
The book is short, snappy and doesn’t overstay its welcome, but calling it an ultimate guide is a stretch. It would have been great to delve deeper into stories from gay parents that relate to the themes.
October 5, 2018
Excellent resource
The tips in this book for parenting are excellent. It is very practical guide for first-timers and well-worn parents. These were things I learned raising three nieces.
The tips in this book for parenting are excellent. It is very practical guide for first-timers and well-worn parents. These were things I learned raising three nieces.
May 22, 2020
I received a complimentary copy.
A good learning resource that will guide along a rougher time. Helping to connect with truths in a manageable way.
A good learning resource that will guide along a rougher time. Helping to connect with truths in a manageable way.
July 7, 2024
This is quite a quick read and good for anyone who's about to be a gay dad. I found lots of information quite useful and some topics that I hadn't considered fully.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews