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If You See Me, Don't Say Hi
In these eleven sharp, surprising stories, Neel Patel gives voice to our most deeply held stereotypes and then slowly undermines them. His characters, almost all of who are first-generation Indian Americans, subvert our expectations that they will sit quietly by. We meet two brothers caught in an elaborate web of envy and loathing; a young gay man who becomes involved with an older man whose secret he could never guess; three women who almost gleefully throw off the pleasant agreeability society asks of them; and, in the final pair of linked stories, a young couple struggling against the devastating force of community gossip.
If You See Me, Don't Say Hi examines the collisions of old world and new world, small town and big city, traditional beliefs (like arranged marriage) and modern rituals (like Facebook stalking). The men and women in these stories are full of passion, regret, envy, anger, and yearning. They fall in love with the wrong people and betray one another and deal with the accumulation of years of subtle racism. They are utterly compelling. Ranging across the country, Patel’s stories -- empathetic, provocative, twisting, and wryly funny -- introduce a bold new literary voice, one that feels more timely than ever.
If You See Me, Don't Say Hi examines the collisions of old world and new world, small town and big city, traditional beliefs (like arranged marriage) and modern rituals (like Facebook stalking). The men and women in these stories are full of passion, regret, envy, anger, and yearning. They fall in love with the wrong people and betray one another and deal with the accumulation of years of subtle racism. They are utterly compelling. Ranging across the country, Patel’s stories -- empathetic, provocative, twisting, and wryly funny -- introduce a bold new literary voice, one that feels more timely than ever.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published July 10, 2018
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June 3, 2018
Somewhere between 4.5 and 5 stars, rounding up.
With his debut story collection, If You See Me, Don't Say Hi , Neel Patel serves notice that he is a talent to be reckoned with. The 11 stories in this collection are packed with emotion and turn people's perceptions and stereotypes of most Indian Americans on their ear.
Some of the characters in these stories follow traditional paths, while others are anything but traditional—they're Facebook-stalking exes or creating schemes to facilitate booty calls. But in each of these stories, the characters face moments of truth, and often need to make a split-second decision which could have significant ramifications. These dilemmas give the stories extra weight, and make them compulsively readable. I read this entire book in one day.
I really enjoyed all of the stories in this collection, but my favorite stories included: "Just a Friend," in which a young gay man wants to know the secrets his older, married boyfriend has been hiding—but doesn't quite expect what he finds out; "God of Destruction," which tells of a woman enchanted by the wi-fi repairman; "Hare Rama, Hare Krishna," which juxtaposes a teenager's navigating his parents' marital troubles with his acknowledgment of his own sexuality, and all of the good and bad that comes with that; and the title story, which follows the tumultuous relationship of two brothers, from the teenage years through adulthood.
The last two stories in the collection, "World Famous" and "Radha, Krishna," are connected, and are the two I loved best. The stories follow a young man and a young woman who were thrown together as children but went their separate ways, and then reconnected in adulthood, only to find that both had been more scarred by their lives then they'd care to admit. These stories were poignant and thought-provoking, so different than I was expecting, and I could have read a novel with these two characters. (That is the case with some of the other stories, too.)
Patel imbues his stories with humor, emotion, sexuality, empathy, even surprise at times. He creates some characters you will root for and feel for, and others you might dislike, or not quite understand. There is a warmth to his writing, but he doesn't put his characters on a pedestal—he lets you see them the way others see them.
I thought this was an excellent story collection, and definitely heralds Patel as someone I am going to follow in the future. I know not everyone is a short story fan, but these are stories with some emotional heft, so they feel worth the investment of your time.
NetGalley and Flatiron Books provided me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making this available!
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com, or check out my list of the best books I read in 2017 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2018/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2017.html.
With his debut story collection, If You See Me, Don't Say Hi , Neel Patel serves notice that he is a talent to be reckoned with. The 11 stories in this collection are packed with emotion and turn people's perceptions and stereotypes of most Indian Americans on their ear.
Some of the characters in these stories follow traditional paths, while others are anything but traditional—they're Facebook-stalking exes or creating schemes to facilitate booty calls. But in each of these stories, the characters face moments of truth, and often need to make a split-second decision which could have significant ramifications. These dilemmas give the stories extra weight, and make them compulsively readable. I read this entire book in one day.
I really enjoyed all of the stories in this collection, but my favorite stories included: "Just a Friend," in which a young gay man wants to know the secrets his older, married boyfriend has been hiding—but doesn't quite expect what he finds out; "God of Destruction," which tells of a woman enchanted by the wi-fi repairman; "Hare Rama, Hare Krishna," which juxtaposes a teenager's navigating his parents' marital troubles with his acknowledgment of his own sexuality, and all of the good and bad that comes with that; and the title story, which follows the tumultuous relationship of two brothers, from the teenage years through adulthood.
The last two stories in the collection, "World Famous" and "Radha, Krishna," are connected, and are the two I loved best. The stories follow a young man and a young woman who were thrown together as children but went their separate ways, and then reconnected in adulthood, only to find that both had been more scarred by their lives then they'd care to admit. These stories were poignant and thought-provoking, so different than I was expecting, and I could have read a novel with these two characters. (That is the case with some of the other stories, too.)
Patel imbues his stories with humor, emotion, sexuality, empathy, even surprise at times. He creates some characters you will root for and feel for, and others you might dislike, or not quite understand. There is a warmth to his writing, but he doesn't put his characters on a pedestal—he lets you see them the way others see them.
I thought this was an excellent story collection, and definitely heralds Patel as someone I am going to follow in the future. I know not everyone is a short story fan, but these are stories with some emotional heft, so they feel worth the investment of your time.
NetGalley and Flatiron Books provided me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making this available!
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com, or check out my list of the best books I read in 2017 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2018/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2017.html.
August 19, 2018
LOVE AND LOSS, follow the characters in these eleven beautifully written stories. They follow various scenarios in the lives of characters of Indian descent, maintains their own customer, while navigating new lives in the states. The title story is so usual the one that stands out and concerns two brothers who once close fall out over a careless comment one of them makes. Their estrangement will last ten years.
The last two stories are connecting stories, about a man and woman , once involved, and picks up at two different points in their lives. To be honest though, I enjoyed reading them all, which doesn't happen very often when reading g shorts. The Indian customs, culture, foods are explored iin different stories. An Indisn online dating service is featured in the first..
The first offering by this author, and he is a very smooth writer, a natural storyteller. The stories flow, the prose gorgeous, with some wonderful insights. Looking forward to more from this author, and apparently he is now at work on his first novel.
The last two stories are connecting stories, about a man and woman , once involved, and picks up at two different points in their lives. To be honest though, I enjoyed reading them all, which doesn't happen very often when reading g shorts. The Indian customs, culture, foods are explored iin different stories. An Indisn online dating service is featured in the first..
The first offering by this author, and he is a very smooth writer, a natural storyteller. The stories flow, the prose gorgeous, with some wonderful insights. Looking forward to more from this author, and apparently he is now at work on his first novel.
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April 1, 2018IF YOU SEE ME, DON'T SAY HI bristles with unexpected meetings and reunions, recognitions and failed recognitions, passions and estrangements of all kinds. These stories have a sharp eye for the complexities of modern life, but Neel Patel writes with the wisdom and compassion of an old soul.
August 7, 2018
3.5 stars
A great debut short story collection that centers the complex lives of first-generation Indian Americans, some queer and some straight. Neel Patel, an emerging voice in literature, dispels the model minority myth with these 11 well-written stories. Though people often make assumptions about Indian Americans (e.g., they are rich, all they care about is working hard and getting their kids into good schools, their families all abide by the same traditions) this collection reveals the messier truth, that Indian Americans experience forbidden desires and devastating heartbreak, that the forces of racism and classism and homophobia affect their lives, and Indian Americans’ individual wills can clash with their community’s aspirations in brutal ways. This collection struck me as more bittersweet than hopeful, though regardless of its final tone the stories convey great perceptiveness and empathy for the regrets and the choices that make us human.
The strongest stories in this collection stood out due to their deep emotional resonance and the layered relationships between characters, often influenced by markers such as class and gender. My favorites: “If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi,” a story about the tumultuous bond between two brothers that took my breath away; “The Other Language,” about a boy who travels with his family and develops a crush on a servant boy that becomes marred by class, and clashing longings; and the two ending stories that feature the same set of characters, “World Famous” and “Radha, Krishna,” in which a man and a woman contend with the community gossip that threatens to tear them apart. I love the drama Neel Patel inserts into these stories, how for the most part they serve to undermine stereotypes about Indian Americans, about women, and about queer people. These stories reveal sad truths about what happens when we do not treat people well, or when we live in a society that makes it so difficult for immigrants to succeed even when they push themselves to. I keep coming back to the emotion and the word “bittersweet,” as I feel like it captures the wise, compassionate, and sometimes funny melancholy that pervades If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi.
While some of the stories did not resonate with me as much – I felt that they did not have the depth of the other stories or their characters’ relationships did not pull at my heart as much – I would still recommend this collection to fans of short stories or contemporary fiction, especially those interested in LGBTQ+ narratives. I read that Patel is working on his novel and I am excited for it, as I felt that I could have read full novels about the characters in my favorite stories from this collection. Also, props to Patel for joining together traditional aspects of Indian Americans' lives (e.g., arranged marriage) with modern-day conventions (e.g., Facebook stalking, which I may or may not do often). Yay for the representation of queer people of color, I am grateful to Patel for his hard work in refining his craft and sharing his voice.
A great debut short story collection that centers the complex lives of first-generation Indian Americans, some queer and some straight. Neel Patel, an emerging voice in literature, dispels the model minority myth with these 11 well-written stories. Though people often make assumptions about Indian Americans (e.g., they are rich, all they care about is working hard and getting their kids into good schools, their families all abide by the same traditions) this collection reveals the messier truth, that Indian Americans experience forbidden desires and devastating heartbreak, that the forces of racism and classism and homophobia affect their lives, and Indian Americans’ individual wills can clash with their community’s aspirations in brutal ways. This collection struck me as more bittersweet than hopeful, though regardless of its final tone the stories convey great perceptiveness and empathy for the regrets and the choices that make us human.
The strongest stories in this collection stood out due to their deep emotional resonance and the layered relationships between characters, often influenced by markers such as class and gender. My favorites: “If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi,” a story about the tumultuous bond between two brothers that took my breath away; “The Other Language,” about a boy who travels with his family and develops a crush on a servant boy that becomes marred by class, and clashing longings; and the two ending stories that feature the same set of characters, “World Famous” and “Radha, Krishna,” in which a man and a woman contend with the community gossip that threatens to tear them apart. I love the drama Neel Patel inserts into these stories, how for the most part they serve to undermine stereotypes about Indian Americans, about women, and about queer people. These stories reveal sad truths about what happens when we do not treat people well, or when we live in a society that makes it so difficult for immigrants to succeed even when they push themselves to. I keep coming back to the emotion and the word “bittersweet,” as I feel like it captures the wise, compassionate, and sometimes funny melancholy that pervades If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi.
While some of the stories did not resonate with me as much – I felt that they did not have the depth of the other stories or their characters’ relationships did not pull at my heart as much – I would still recommend this collection to fans of short stories or contemporary fiction, especially those interested in LGBTQ+ narratives. I read that Patel is working on his novel and I am excited for it, as I felt that I could have read full novels about the characters in my favorite stories from this collection. Also, props to Patel for joining together traditional aspects of Indian Americans' lives (e.g., arranged marriage) with modern-day conventions (e.g., Facebook stalking, which I may or may not do often). Yay for the representation of queer people of color, I am grateful to Patel for his hard work in refining his craft and sharing his voice.
October 1, 2020
If You See Me, Don't Say Hi is a collection of eleven fictional short stories about different experiences of first-generation Indian Americans. The stories are written with the goal to subvert the model minority myth and break down stereotypes. I am not Indian so I cannot say whether Neel succeeded in his endeavour from an own voices point of view. I do however find it interesting that each story contained a character that was either a doctor, engineer, lawyer or something of the sort and in terms of the model minority myth, that aspect seemed to somewhat contradict the purpose of the book.
The stories explore a variety of intriguing themes such as; identity, love, betrayal, sexuality and mental health with relationships and sex being the central focus in most if not all stories. Because of the similar themes in every story, by the third one it starts to feel repetitive and mundane especially since infidelity was a consistent theme throughout. Ultimately the characters feel one-dimensional due to the lack of variety in voices and storyline/arcs. The stories are almost a retelling of themselves and I found myself questioning whether the characters were flawed and realistic or just extremely unlikable and if I'm honest, I think it is more of the latter.
I wasn't particularly fond of some of the dialogue written for the female characters and felt some descriptions to be tasteless. Describing women’s body parts like “molds of gelatin” and “pillows of dough” just seems like lazy writing and every time I read a description like that, I cringed. In addition to that there is some racial dialogue that I thought were problematic and further perpetuates certain stereotypes rather than breaking them.
The last two stories “World Famous” and “Radha, Krishna” were the saving grace for this collection. They are connected to one another and have a completely different feel to the rest of the collection. The writing feels more refined and the exploration of people, relationships and emotions is somewhat more nuanced. I think if the entire collection had been written with the same flair, it could have potentially been a five star read.
The stories explore a variety of intriguing themes such as; identity, love, betrayal, sexuality and mental health with relationships and sex being the central focus in most if not all stories. Because of the similar themes in every story, by the third one it starts to feel repetitive and mundane especially since infidelity was a consistent theme throughout. Ultimately the characters feel one-dimensional due to the lack of variety in voices and storyline/arcs. The stories are almost a retelling of themselves and I found myself questioning whether the characters were flawed and realistic or just extremely unlikable and if I'm honest, I think it is more of the latter.
I wasn't particularly fond of some of the dialogue written for the female characters and felt some descriptions to be tasteless. Describing women’s body parts like “molds of gelatin” and “pillows of dough” just seems like lazy writing and every time I read a description like that, I cringed. In addition to that there is some racial dialogue that I thought were problematic and further perpetuates certain stereotypes rather than breaking them.
The last two stories “World Famous” and “Radha, Krishna” were the saving grace for this collection. They are connected to one another and have a completely different feel to the rest of the collection. The writing feels more refined and the exploration of people, relationships and emotions is somewhat more nuanced. I think if the entire collection had been written with the same flair, it could have potentially been a five star read.
September 2, 2024
"I learned how to love and be loved in ways my parents had never taught me before, and by the time I was in my thirties, I'd had my heart broken three more times"- Neel Patel.
I completely agree with all the praise that this remarkable, unremarkable short-story collection has been getting. I agree that they are eleven, razor sharp and unforgettable stories about assimilation, sexuality, and what it means to feel brown and an outsider today.
It seems that Mr. Patel's collection pays homage to the writing of the legendary Jhumpa Lahiri, and her influence shadows over his stories. More sexualized than Ms. Lahiri's work, and grittier- Mr. Patel has an empathic and sorrowful voice that is at once heartbreaking and strong at the same time.
The most unforgettable stories are "God of Destruction", where a woman named Anita whose engagement is suddenly broken off after two years, and disastrously attempts to meet a man named Vibash from the internet. As she does this, her cable modem goes out and she finds herself having a one night stand with Ernesto, the cable guy. Time passes after Anita and Vibash finally move in together where fate brings Ernesto back into her life unexpectedly.
"Hare Rama, Hare Krishna" is my favorite story- a coming of age tale about Samir, who is questioning his sexuality and how he ends up dating Jordan, a privileged white classmate from his high school. As Samir and Jordan navigate their relationship, even being taunted by the bully Brendan, and participating in dance classes with Anton, a Filipino instructor; Samir and his mother go through the pain of his father's infidelity with a white woman named Lisa who turns their family inside out. There is also the notion and jealousy of the desire to be white as the ultimate goal of assimilating into the American heteronormative society.
"Just a Friend" is the story of a young gay man named Jonathan who finds himself having an affair with the married and fortysomething Ashwin- who happens to be housesitting for relatives and breaking Jonathan's heart, ending their affair abruptly.
Both "Hare Rama and Hare Krishna" and "Just a Friend" are both beautiful coming of age stories about first love and the confusion of sexuality.
Finally the title story, "If you see me, don't say hi" is the most heartbreaking one in the collection. It is about the Narrator's fractured relationship with brother Deepak, who is seen as the loser of the family, who ends up working for the family business of running a hotel; and the narrator's relationship with Deepika, Deepak's wife. The narrator's desire to assimilate and fit into a white society angers Deepak, destroying and causing a rift between the two brothers.
The stories are biting, sad, and tinging with longing and heartache, and is a beautiful and solid collection about love gone wrong.
I completely agree with all the praise that this remarkable, unremarkable short-story collection has been getting. I agree that they are eleven, razor sharp and unforgettable stories about assimilation, sexuality, and what it means to feel brown and an outsider today.
It seems that Mr. Patel's collection pays homage to the writing of the legendary Jhumpa Lahiri, and her influence shadows over his stories. More sexualized than Ms. Lahiri's work, and grittier- Mr. Patel has an empathic and sorrowful voice that is at once heartbreaking and strong at the same time.
The most unforgettable stories are "God of Destruction", where a woman named Anita whose engagement is suddenly broken off after two years, and disastrously attempts to meet a man named Vibash from the internet. As she does this, her cable modem goes out and she finds herself having a one night stand with Ernesto, the cable guy. Time passes after Anita and Vibash finally move in together where fate brings Ernesto back into her life unexpectedly.
"Hare Rama, Hare Krishna" is my favorite story- a coming of age tale about Samir, who is questioning his sexuality and how he ends up dating Jordan, a privileged white classmate from his high school. As Samir and Jordan navigate their relationship, even being taunted by the bully Brendan, and participating in dance classes with Anton, a Filipino instructor; Samir and his mother go through the pain of his father's infidelity with a white woman named Lisa who turns their family inside out. There is also the notion and jealousy of the desire to be white as the ultimate goal of assimilating into the American heteronormative society.
"Just a Friend" is the story of a young gay man named Jonathan who finds himself having an affair with the married and fortysomething Ashwin- who happens to be housesitting for relatives and breaking Jonathan's heart, ending their affair abruptly.
Both "Hare Rama and Hare Krishna" and "Just a Friend" are both beautiful coming of age stories about first love and the confusion of sexuality.
Finally the title story, "If you see me, don't say hi" is the most heartbreaking one in the collection. It is about the Narrator's fractured relationship with brother Deepak, who is seen as the loser of the family, who ends up working for the family business of running a hotel; and the narrator's relationship with Deepika, Deepak's wife. The narrator's desire to assimilate and fit into a white society angers Deepak, destroying and causing a rift between the two brothers.
The stories are biting, sad, and tinging with longing and heartache, and is a beautiful and solid collection about love gone wrong.
April 1, 2018
I received this via Goodreads Giveaways in exchange for an honest review. :)
=====
3.5 stars overall
A well done collection of stories. Actually enjoyed all of them:) Not that I wasn't expecting to but sometimes it is in the back of my mind when I pick up any short story collection.
Loved taking the time to savor these.
No complaints about this one:) Definitely re-read material down the road.
-----
Individual ratings:
God of Destruction : 3 stars
Hare rama, hare krishna : 4 stars
hey, loser : 3.5 stars
just a friend : 3.5 stars
if you see me, don't say hi : 4 stars
the taj mahal : 3.5 stars
the other language : 3.5 stars
these things happen : 3.5 stars
an arrangement : 3.5 stars
world famous 3.5 stars
radha, krishna 3 stars
=====
3.5 stars overall
A well done collection of stories. Actually enjoyed all of them:) Not that I wasn't expecting to but sometimes it is in the back of my mind when I pick up any short story collection.
Loved taking the time to savor these.
No complaints about this one:) Definitely re-read material down the road.
-----
Individual ratings:
God of Destruction : 3 stars
Hare rama, hare krishna : 4 stars
hey, loser : 3.5 stars
just a friend : 3.5 stars
if you see me, don't say hi : 4 stars
the taj mahal : 3.5 stars
the other language : 3.5 stars
these things happen : 3.5 stars
an arrangement : 3.5 stars
world famous 3.5 stars
radha, krishna 3 stars
March 31, 2018
What I liked most about this book is that it was an easy, fast read. The book left me lost and confused. The details were clear, the characters were all sad and strange. Depressing, but I didn’t feel bad for them. I almost wanted something horrible to happen to them just so I could see some type humanness.
Can a book be boring and intriguing at the same time? This was a different type of read for me
Can a book be boring and intriguing at the same time? This was a different type of read for me
Read
July 4, 2020Honestly, this review says it about as well as I could https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Watch me discuss this book: https://youtu.be/-8K7xy440XQ
Watch me discuss this book: https://youtu.be/-8K7xy440XQ
August 24, 2024
I have been wanting to read this short story collection for years now ever since it came out in 2018. And now I did and I am impressed!
But I do wonder if I read it back in 2018, I guess I wouldn’t appreciate it as much.
Focused on complicated adult relationships and family dynamics, this collection of eleven short stories surprised me with the distinct plots and characters in each story.
There are times you would cringe; there would be times you would want to shake the character so hard and tell them life would be okay. But then they are just so realistic that you know they would make their own mistakes and move on.
A few stories represent lgbtqiap community and how people could be cruel towards them.
Each story stands out. This collection is for mature audience and meant for adults.
But I do wonder if I read it back in 2018, I guess I wouldn’t appreciate it as much.
Focused on complicated adult relationships and family dynamics, this collection of eleven short stories surprised me with the distinct plots and characters in each story.
There are times you would cringe; there would be times you would want to shake the character so hard and tell them life would be okay. But then they are just so realistic that you know they would make their own mistakes and move on.
A few stories represent lgbtqiap community and how people could be cruel towards them.
Each story stands out. This collection is for mature audience and meant for adults.
September 20, 2018
Indian American Patel’s short story collection is comprised of eleven tales of young men and women flailing in their attempts to find meaningful relationships. Patel’s characters are not afraid to seek friendship—or lovers—but communication seems inevitably to go sideways, resulting in frayed friendships, and broken hearts. Patel seems to sum it up with a quote taken from ‘God of Destruction’; “Happiness is a currency: that when it goes, it goes and few people are willing to give you some of theirs”.
All of Patel’s characters are Indian Americans living in Illinois, but their cultural heritage is not a major component. There is an arranged marriage in ‘Hare Rama, Hare Krishna’, and several of the stories have characters feeling their parents’ expectations to achieve excellent grades, be admitted to premier universities and become doctors; and there is the occasional story where the character encounters racist taunts and bullying. But, for the most part, the characters’ Indian culture is irrelevant. Rather, they are universal coming of age stories where the protagonists are both sympathetic and yet flawed. Enjoy.
All of Patel’s characters are Indian Americans living in Illinois, but their cultural heritage is not a major component. There is an arranged marriage in ‘Hare Rama, Hare Krishna’, and several of the stories have characters feeling their parents’ expectations to achieve excellent grades, be admitted to premier universities and become doctors; and there is the occasional story where the character encounters racist taunts and bullying. But, for the most part, the characters’ Indian culture is irrelevant. Rather, they are universal coming of age stories where the protagonists are both sympathetic and yet flawed. Enjoy.
January 30, 2019
1.5 stars.
Highly avoidable!
One dimensional characters in stories that are extremely repetitive in essence and just about everything. Themes were intriguing, which is the reason I picked this one up but it was a total disaster in terms of execution. It felt as if the author had merely changed the names and places but the story line or arc was the same. What irritated me the most is the casual nature with which the author has talked about some of the most serious issues, like depression, mental health, sexuality and other similar ones that are prevalent even today.
The only saving grace for this collection was the last two linked stories which showed some sign of growth. However, in the end, the story kind of fizzled out, although I wouldn’t say it was as bad as the others in this collection. That’s the only reason for the additional 0.5 star!
Highly avoidable!
One dimensional characters in stories that are extremely repetitive in essence and just about everything. Themes were intriguing, which is the reason I picked this one up but it was a total disaster in terms of execution. It felt as if the author had merely changed the names and places but the story line or arc was the same. What irritated me the most is the casual nature with which the author has talked about some of the most serious issues, like depression, mental health, sexuality and other similar ones that are prevalent even today.
The only saving grace for this collection was the last two linked stories which showed some sign of growth. However, in the end, the story kind of fizzled out, although I wouldn’t say it was as bad as the others in this collection. That’s the only reason for the additional 0.5 star!
August 8, 2018
This is a lovely collection of quaint stories unified by the common theme of human imperfection. Although each story features an Indian protagonist, the cultural references are secondary to the universal experiences these characters deal with. I could deeply relate to something in every story and that is the mark of a great collection. Much of it is focused on love, domestic life, and careers and all of the strangely profound feelings that these everyday features of life can unearth in us.
December 29, 2018
Well written stories with meaningful, (although somewhat heavy) themes that were interesting until I started to feel like I was reading the same one over again. It would have benefitted from including one or two from a lighter perspective.
January 12, 2023
I loved it! A unique perspective. Funny. Smart. Insightful. Every story shined. My favourite stories included: If You See Me, Don't Say Hi, The Other Language, World Famous, and Radha, Krishna. 4.5 rounded up!
February 1, 2022
Library-overdrive Audiobook….read by Neel Patel
…..6 hours and 39 minutes
“Breasts rippled like
Jell-O ?????
YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
These contemporary - bold —
short stories push the envelope of comfortableness……
with…..
first-generation Indian-American characters…..
The eleven short stories explore a variety of intimate themes …..
sex - first time sex, straight and gay sex - explicit graphic sex, lies, betrayal, women, men, fights, nastiness, dating, pushing others away, shopping, Indian foods, new foods, love, family, mothers, brothers, secrets, loss, hope, struggles, infidelity, expectations, mixed marriages, success, failures, anger, resentments, parties, obsessions with breasts, drunkenness, pregnancies,
coming-of-age, identity, engagement parties, breakups, complaining about others,
remorse, fat chat judgments,
babies, death, crying, laughing, apologies, estrangements, unexpected tragedies,
music videos, riding around in cars, being the source of parent’s anxiety, mental health, disappointments, divorce, sadness, grief, secrets, being different, feeling different, social anxieties, immigrant anxieties, economic and social class, race in America etc.
These ‘in-your-face’ stories - explore topics not often talked about so freely —
They definitely wouldn’t be for everyone—
At times I admired Neel’s fearless gumption prose ….
Other times — I felt they were semi-inappropriate.
Neel Patel is talented — no question. He’s an excellent writer. He’s not guarded —
He has an engaging audio-voice.
That said — I ended up with an overall ‘neutral’ feeling…
yet I still found them entertaining in an odd way.
I wanted to read these short stories- as my way to introduce myself to Neel’s work.
He has a novel out “Tell Me How To Be”
that I want to read — [on the library waitlist]….
so, in the meantime, this book was readily available from the library.
I’m not NOT sorry I listened to
these stories— but I think I’m more interested to read his novel.
The stories held my attention…(I had a few eye-rolling moments)….
They take us into the minds and hearts of people navigating unsettling transitions that life presents.
And?
What’s comfortable about that?
3.5 stars — rating up
…..6 hours and 39 minutes
“Breasts rippled like
Jell-O ?????
YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
These contemporary - bold —
short stories push the envelope of comfortableness……
with…..
first-generation Indian-American characters…..
The eleven short stories explore a variety of intimate themes …..
sex - first time sex, straight and gay sex - explicit graphic sex, lies, betrayal, women, men, fights, nastiness, dating, pushing others away, shopping, Indian foods, new foods, love, family, mothers, brothers, secrets, loss, hope, struggles, infidelity, expectations, mixed marriages, success, failures, anger, resentments, parties, obsessions with breasts, drunkenness, pregnancies,
coming-of-age, identity, engagement parties, breakups, complaining about others,
remorse, fat chat judgments,
babies, death, crying, laughing, apologies, estrangements, unexpected tragedies,
music videos, riding around in cars, being the source of parent’s anxiety, mental health, disappointments, divorce, sadness, grief, secrets, being different, feeling different, social anxieties, immigrant anxieties, economic and social class, race in America etc.
These ‘in-your-face’ stories - explore topics not often talked about so freely —
They definitely wouldn’t be for everyone—
At times I admired Neel’s fearless gumption prose ….
Other times — I felt they were semi-inappropriate.
Neel Patel is talented — no question. He’s an excellent writer. He’s not guarded —
He has an engaging audio-voice.
That said — I ended up with an overall ‘neutral’ feeling…
yet I still found them entertaining in an odd way.
I wanted to read these short stories- as my way to introduce myself to Neel’s work.
He has a novel out “Tell Me How To Be”
that I want to read — [on the library waitlist]….
so, in the meantime, this book was readily available from the library.
I’m not NOT sorry I listened to
these stories— but I think I’m more interested to read his novel.
The stories held my attention…(I had a few eye-rolling moments)….
They take us into the minds and hearts of people navigating unsettling transitions that life presents.
And?
What’s comfortable about that?
3.5 stars — rating up
July 10, 2018
The main problem of short stories – they are short. However, they are a wonderful choice for travelling. You can read different stories in whatever order you like, whenever you want and don’t memorize characters and their doings to follow the story.
“If you see me, don’t say Hi” by Neel Patel contains eleven stories. Each of them is interesting, but not each one leaves a mark. I mean, when I was reading the fifth story I could not remember what previous four were about. By the way, it is better to read stories in author’s order, because some stories have sequels.
Yet the stories were refreshing. I like to know more about immigrants and how Indian generations live in America. I loved how Neel Patel shows us some stereotypes and how a new Indian Americans generation is trying to ruin them. Sometimes it felt as author had written about Ukrainian culture. We have the same: all those gossips and “you are thirty-five, why are you not married?” and that a girl should find a rich husband for herself.
I loved Neel Patel’s writing. All the stories felt real, even if in some of them I wanted more of, well, story. Because not in all of them I sensed an emotion, a problem or a character struggle. But the writing was so good I wanted to read more and more. And still want to! So I’m totally waiting for Neel Patel’s debut novel!
“If you see me, don’t say Hi” by Neel Patel contains eleven stories. Each of them is interesting, but not each one leaves a mark. I mean, when I was reading the fifth story I could not remember what previous four were about. By the way, it is better to read stories in author’s order, because some stories have sequels.
Yet the stories were refreshing. I like to know more about immigrants and how Indian generations live in America. I loved how Neel Patel shows us some stereotypes and how a new Indian Americans generation is trying to ruin them. Sometimes it felt as author had written about Ukrainian culture. We have the same: all those gossips and “you are thirty-five, why are you not married?” and that a girl should find a rich husband for herself.
I loved Neel Patel’s writing. All the stories felt real, even if in some of them I wanted more of, well, story. Because not in all of them I sensed an emotion, a problem or a character struggle. But the writing was so good I wanted to read more and more. And still want to! So I’m totally waiting for Neel Patel’s debut novel!
February 24, 2019
A solid collection of short stories, all centering around the East Indian-American experience. Interestingly, about a third of them also have LGBTQ elements, and another third have female narrators, unusual in a male author. Reading them back to back somewhat dilutes their fortitude, however, as he repeats certain elements to deleterious effect (for example, in the final two unrelated stories, the parents of the protagonists are doctors and hotel owners respectively, apparently denoting class differences). Many of them also center on doomed relationships, which gets a mite wearying. But the author is now working on a debut novel, and I'd be willing to see what he comes up with in a longer format.
April 9, 2023
Whoops I forgot to update but I finished this book and man oh man was it a trip. Some of the writing was a bit too sexual or descriptive for my taste BUT I have never felt more seen or heard while reading a book. This was a very uplifting yet sad read, and I didn’t want it to end. My mom wanted to read it and she’s not a first generation Indian-American so it will be kind of funny to hear her opinion of it.
UPDATE: my mom liked it.
UPDATE: my mom liked it.
May 28, 2018
I love writing short stories but funnily enough I only really started reading them this past decade. I don’t know why I used to avoid the genre because I feel it showcases a writer’s talent in a way that can sometimes get submerged in a novel.
Anyway, Neel Patel’s début collection, If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi, does a great job showcasing his talent: he’s an exceptional writer. Each story contains gem upon gem of wonderful insights into human nature, culture, and relationships. All shrouded with a backdrop of Indian culture and heritage.
If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi has stories of deception, arranged marriages, mixed marriages, same sex relationships, divorce, unrequited love, to name just a few of the themes that pop up. All of the stories revolve around the main theme of relationships, and I found some stories better than others, but that’s usually the norm with most short story collections that I read. Some of them I related to, others left a bad taste in my mouth, but all recreate believable slices of life and intrigue. I read them all in one go, but I think next time I read them I will slow it down a little so as not to mix them all up together. I think that this is one collection that should be read in slices.
A really solid debut from Neel Patel, I’m looking forward to reading more of his work in the future! If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi will be published on July 10th by Flatiron Books. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance copy!
Anyway, Neel Patel’s début collection, If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi, does a great job showcasing his talent: he’s an exceptional writer. Each story contains gem upon gem of wonderful insights into human nature, culture, and relationships. All shrouded with a backdrop of Indian culture and heritage.
If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi has stories of deception, arranged marriages, mixed marriages, same sex relationships, divorce, unrequited love, to name just a few of the themes that pop up. All of the stories revolve around the main theme of relationships, and I found some stories better than others, but that’s usually the norm with most short story collections that I read. Some of them I related to, others left a bad taste in my mouth, but all recreate believable slices of life and intrigue. I read them all in one go, but I think next time I read them I will slow it down a little so as not to mix them all up together. I think that this is one collection that should be read in slices.
A really solid debut from Neel Patel, I’m looking forward to reading more of his work in the future! If You See Me, Don’t Say Hi will be published on July 10th by Flatiron Books. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance copy!
July 18, 2019
After recently reading Devi S. Laskar’s overworked The Atlas of Reds and Blues and rereading Jhumpa Lahiri’s beautifully written but soporific short story collection, Unaccustomed Earth, I didn’t expect a lot from this collection.
What I thought this would be: another bunch of stories that focus on immigrant issues, bursting with tired tropes and stereotypes. Patel’s short stories – written from the viewpoint of women, gay men (both Indian and non-Indian), and straight men – feature anything but that. The Indians in these stories are fully-realised characters whose lives revolve around more than their ethnic identities – they can’t escape racism but it doesn’t define their existence. There is less identity-based angst characteristic of immigrant writing here: no long introspective paragraphs about the duality of being American and Indian; the worries here are universal: broken marriages, sexuality, dating.
A minor quibble: I couldn’t help but notice that a couple of the female characters had the same names as famous Bollywood actresses: Deepika, Kareena, Sharmilla. I have no idea if this was intentional (I hope not).
What I thought this would be: another bunch of stories that focus on immigrant issues, bursting with tired tropes and stereotypes. Patel’s short stories – written from the viewpoint of women, gay men (both Indian and non-Indian), and straight men – feature anything but that. The Indians in these stories are fully-realised characters whose lives revolve around more than their ethnic identities – they can’t escape racism but it doesn’t define their existence. There is less identity-based angst characteristic of immigrant writing here: no long introspective paragraphs about the duality of being American and Indian; the worries here are universal: broken marriages, sexuality, dating.
A minor quibble: I couldn’t help but notice that a couple of the female characters had the same names as famous Bollywood actresses: Deepika, Kareena, Sharmilla. I have no idea if this was intentional (I hope not).
October 17, 2020
Neel Patel's debut short story collection offers several short tales depicting LGBTQI life in the USA. Some of the narrators are second generation Indian Americans, whereas others are Americans of other backgrounds looking into the Indian diaspora as outsiders. All of the stories have a queer bend, and offer some level of insight for those who are curious as to what it means to grow up LGBTQI in an Indian-American context. On a craft level, I found the writing somewhat bland. I didn't feel that Patel's voices were popping out the way they could have, and some of the stories veered more into melodrama than insight. I would have liked to see more diversity of voice and experience inside of the Indian-American LGBTQI perspective, as most of the stories dealt with relationships, and I think that there are many other aspects of being LGBTQI or Indian-American.
Nonetheless, an admirable debut.
Nonetheless, an admirable debut.
September 29, 2018
Thank you so much Flatiron Books for providing my free copy of IF YOU SEE ME, DON’T SAY HI by Neel Patel - all opinions are my own.
This is an incredible debut collection of eleven short stories about love and loss with wonderful and thoughtful characters. These stories negate the stereotypes of Indian Americans and show a wide range of interesting characters who lead different lifestyles but who all have one thing in common: they are each faced with life changing decisions. I love that each story is unique but as a collection, it’s cohesive. It’s a brilliantly written collection and I love every story in it.
A number of standouts for me include the opening story, God of Destruction, which is about a young woman who has a one night stand with the cable guy; Just a Friend, which is about a twenty-two year-old gay man who has a brief affair with an older married man but is dying to know what else he is hiding; the title story, which is about two brothers who have been estranged for ten years and is told from the perspective of the younger sibling; Hare Rama, Hare Krishna which centers around a teenager who has to deal with his parent’s marital issues while coming to terms with his own sexuality; and the final two stories which are linked together called World Famous and Radha, Krishna which follow a boy and a girl who have a relationship as kids then again as adults. Overall, this is a beautiful collection with relatable, intriguing characters filled with profound empathy with an underlying theme of loss. There is so much emotion but also moments of humor. A truly excellent collection even if you are not a short story reader, I highly recommend you give this one a try.
This is an incredible debut collection of eleven short stories about love and loss with wonderful and thoughtful characters. These stories negate the stereotypes of Indian Americans and show a wide range of interesting characters who lead different lifestyles but who all have one thing in common: they are each faced with life changing decisions. I love that each story is unique but as a collection, it’s cohesive. It’s a brilliantly written collection and I love every story in it.
A number of standouts for me include the opening story, God of Destruction, which is about a young woman who has a one night stand with the cable guy; Just a Friend, which is about a twenty-two year-old gay man who has a brief affair with an older married man but is dying to know what else he is hiding; the title story, which is about two brothers who have been estranged for ten years and is told from the perspective of the younger sibling; Hare Rama, Hare Krishna which centers around a teenager who has to deal with his parent’s marital issues while coming to terms with his own sexuality; and the final two stories which are linked together called World Famous and Radha, Krishna which follow a boy and a girl who have a relationship as kids then again as adults. Overall, this is a beautiful collection with relatable, intriguing characters filled with profound empathy with an underlying theme of loss. There is so much emotion but also moments of humor. A truly excellent collection even if you are not a short story reader, I highly recommend you give this one a try.
August 11, 2019
not a big fan of the word “devouring” to be used in relation to a book, but i absolutely devoured this-read in one sitting!
April 17, 2019
I made it about 1/3 through this one, did not finish. Maybe the best stories were at the end. If so, I'm sorry but I couldn't slog through the rest to get there. My loss. But this book wasn't for me.
One of my favorite quotes that I think of often when taking in Western stories in books or on screen is by G. Willow Wilson from her excellent Alif the Unseen:
Look at all the Eastern writers who've written great Western literature. Kazuo Ishiguro. You'd never guess that The Remains of the Day or Never Let Me Go were written by a Japanese guy. But I can't think of anyone who's ever done the reverse-- any Westerner who's written great Eastern literature. Well, maybe if we count Lawrence Durrell - does the Alexandria Quartet qualify as Eastern literature?"
"There is a very simple test," said Vikram. "Is it about bored, tired people having sex?"
"Yes," said the convert, surprised.
"Then it's western."
Neel Patel identifies as Indian American. He's from Illinois. The book blurb teases that in these stories he "gives voice to our most deeply held stereotypes and then slowly undermines them." That his characters "almost all of whom are first-generation Indian Americans subvert our expectations that they will sit quietly by." That Patel "examines collisions of old world and new world," "contradict the model-minority myth, giving us a bold new portrait of the brown experience, and of America."
I picked this up expecting all that the front cover blurb promised. I saw this book on some of my favorite POC Instagram accounts. We need more "diverse" books and authors and experience (in quotes bc this word almost has no meaning now but let's just define it as representing the true ethnicities and experiences of the people who live in our world and not just the top 1%.)
What I found in this book is reflected best by the Wilson quote. An "Eastern" heritage author writing in a Western style about boring tired people having sex.
When the stories started to get interesting, when I would start to get invested in the characters, more sex would be thrown in to divert me. Then the story would end. It wasn't so much about the characters or their lives and experiences and outlooks but all that makes us important and valuable as humans was stripped away and it was only important for all readers to know that Indian Americans, brown people, are sexual beings who have sex.
Sex is not even 10% of the human experience. Even if you're having it everyday, even if it's your job, it is so very such a small part of what makes up everyone's day. I'm so tired of this Western focus on it. And it's a tragedy that seemingly part of assimilation has been to just sexualize incoming cultures and then call them American.
Is it really turning stereotypes on their head to know that brown people have sex! They obsess about exes! They are gay! Yeah...they're people. I'm sure there are some out there who maybe need to learn that "they're just like us." But do we really have to focus on the sexual as that which makes us all human? I'm so tired and bored of reading about sex.
One of my favorite quotes that I think of often when taking in Western stories in books or on screen is by G. Willow Wilson from her excellent Alif the Unseen:
Look at all the Eastern writers who've written great Western literature. Kazuo Ishiguro. You'd never guess that The Remains of the Day or Never Let Me Go were written by a Japanese guy. But I can't think of anyone who's ever done the reverse-- any Westerner who's written great Eastern literature. Well, maybe if we count Lawrence Durrell - does the Alexandria Quartet qualify as Eastern literature?"
"There is a very simple test," said Vikram. "Is it about bored, tired people having sex?"
"Yes," said the convert, surprised.
"Then it's western."
Neel Patel identifies as Indian American. He's from Illinois. The book blurb teases that in these stories he "gives voice to our most deeply held stereotypes and then slowly undermines them." That his characters "almost all of whom are first-generation Indian Americans subvert our expectations that they will sit quietly by." That Patel "examines collisions of old world and new world," "contradict the model-minority myth, giving us a bold new portrait of the brown experience, and of America."
I picked this up expecting all that the front cover blurb promised. I saw this book on some of my favorite POC Instagram accounts. We need more "diverse" books and authors and experience (in quotes bc this word almost has no meaning now but let's just define it as representing the true ethnicities and experiences of the people who live in our world and not just the top 1%.)
What I found in this book is reflected best by the Wilson quote. An "Eastern" heritage author writing in a Western style about boring tired people having sex.
When the stories started to get interesting, when I would start to get invested in the characters, more sex would be thrown in to divert me. Then the story would end. It wasn't so much about the characters or their lives and experiences and outlooks but all that makes us important and valuable as humans was stripped away and it was only important for all readers to know that Indian Americans, brown people, are sexual beings who have sex.
Sex is not even 10% of the human experience. Even if you're having it everyday, even if it's your job, it is so very such a small part of what makes up everyone's day. I'm so tired of this Western focus on it. And it's a tragedy that seemingly part of assimilation has been to just sexualize incoming cultures and then call them American.
Is it really turning stereotypes on their head to know that brown people have sex! They obsess about exes! They are gay! Yeah...they're people. I'm sure there are some out there who maybe need to learn that "they're just like us." But do we really have to focus on the sexual as that which makes us all human? I'm so tired and bored of reading about sex.
May 31, 2019
I wanted to like these stories. They started out intriguing enough, but quickly dissolved into repetitive stories with predictable unpredictability, the main ingredients of which were alcohol, sex, and missed or overlooked connections reappearing later in life. All the stories are told in the first person so they blend together even more, none of the characters really being distinguishable.
What bothered me the most was how the stories objectify, simplify, and heteronormatize women and their desires, bodies, and relationships. There were female-male and male-male relationships but no female-female ones. The women were all portrayed as jealous and deceitful. Their purses always and only contained tissues and make-up/skincare. They're mostly there for their ability to satisfy men's desires or to desire men themselves. One's skin was compared to glazed chicken (?!? what?!); another describes herself as "I was bronzed like honey, my hair the color of a cocoa bean" (?!? what?! who says that about themselves?!) and a pair of girls are described to have skin that glows like metal (?! um, what is that supposed to imply?).
Although the blurb of the book claims that it undermines stereotypes, it very much holds the stereotypes of Indian immigrant parents, who stick to their beliefs and values in America. And to their expectations for their children (medicine as a career, marriage, heterosexuality, wealth and status). Occasionally, but rarely, are these undermined in the stories. It's their children, the narrators of these stories and their lovers, friends, siblings, and acquaintances, who undermine these stereotypes upheld by their parents as the context for these stories. I think a more thoughtful look at their interactions would have considered the challenges the parents face and how they have undermined those stereotypes themselves. I also got bored of the many mentions of medical school and medicine as a career that mostly seemed to completely overlook what the work and study entails in terms of effort, time, bedside manner, and ethics.
What bothered me the most was how the stories objectify, simplify, and heteronormatize women and their desires, bodies, and relationships. There were female-male and male-male relationships but no female-female ones. The women were all portrayed as jealous and deceitful. Their purses always and only contained tissues and make-up/skincare. They're mostly there for their ability to satisfy men's desires or to desire men themselves. One's skin was compared to glazed chicken (?!? what?!); another describes herself as "I was bronzed like honey, my hair the color of a cocoa bean" (?!? what?! who says that about themselves?!) and a pair of girls are described to have skin that glows like metal (?! um, what is that supposed to imply?).
Although the blurb of the book claims that it undermines stereotypes, it very much holds the stereotypes of Indian immigrant parents, who stick to their beliefs and values in America. And to their expectations for their children (medicine as a career, marriage, heterosexuality, wealth and status). Occasionally, but rarely, are these undermined in the stories. It's their children, the narrators of these stories and their lovers, friends, siblings, and acquaintances, who undermine these stereotypes upheld by their parents as the context for these stories. I think a more thoughtful look at their interactions would have considered the challenges the parents face and how they have undermined those stereotypes themselves. I also got bored of the many mentions of medical school and medicine as a career that mostly seemed to completely overlook what the work and study entails in terms of effort, time, bedside manner, and ethics.
October 14, 2018
This book was recommended to me as “Master of None” done right, that is an episodic collection of Indian Americans doing normal things like falling in love, having sex, and struggling with guilt, obsession, and anxiety. Although the book is a connection of short stories, no one story stuck out to me in particular, but the totality of the book with its re-occurring doctors, motel owners, hip hop enthusiasts, midwestern corn fields, queerness, and code switching felt effortless creating a world that is intensely familiar to me yet intangibly different and fantastical. The frequent coincidences and run-ins with old flames, the author’s loose regard for chronology, and the ability of each narrative to lull the reader into a sense of inevitability that is often wrenched away at the end swept me up into the atmosphere created by Neel. Many of the characters have strong urges to rebel against tradition, yet ultimately decide not to, to proceed as expected by their families and communities. Something about these arcs is a little off and I’m still confused why. This is the type of book that caused me to ignore most other things and squirrel away time to sit and read it through, I would highly recommend it.
August 3, 2018
The stories in this collection had such an earnest openness about them. I was beyond pleased at how diverse the characters were - men, women, gay, straight, young & older, etc. Some narratives were stronger than others, but all of them offered compelling insights (& often, dark humor) that I eagerly devoured. In these, Patel explored relationships— between people and their families, their spouses, and friends. But he also explored the complex relationships between Indian-American people and their cultural identities, their societal and familial expectations, and their own choices.
Books like this that prove exactly why Own Voices books are so important. Patel’s desire to show truth - beautiful, ugly, and everything in between - in his depictions of Indian-American experiences has shaped this collection into what it is : stunning & significant.
Books like this that prove exactly why Own Voices books are so important. Patel’s desire to show truth - beautiful, ugly, and everything in between - in his depictions of Indian-American experiences has shaped this collection into what it is : stunning & significant.
April 11, 2018
These stories are about people on the brink--in between cultures, relationships, jobs--and this instability lends Patel's collection a sense of uncertainty and danger, and his characters vulnerability. They are not the shining stars of their families, but the daughters you make excuses for or the brothers you pretend don't exist. They are familiar, funny, sad, and true, and populate stories that are surprising, entertaining, and memorable.
November 5, 2024
I added this to my tbr after seeing a review for it and deeply relating to the title, but found the collection of stories to be a very worthwhile read. I loved the exploration of queerness, race, expectations, and family throughout.
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