This book features a character so self-destructive that she might as well come with a Danger! Object may combust under extreme stress sticker. Or in other words, it was everything about myself I try to not dwell on. Danny? She dwells. She makes stupid decisions, thinks the worst things, and is an all-around mess. But I think that’s what made her so real.
Mental illness makes you think - no, dwell - on the worst parts of yourself. And Danny reflects that. This is a book about a girl who tries to escape her thoughts but ultimately realizes that she can’t. She’s stuck with who she is, and it’s not exactly what she wants, but it’s all she’s got. And the thing is: she still has the opportunity to choose to be the best version of herself.
The last line, paraphrased, is something like “they don’t know where they’re going, but they end up where they needed to be anyway.” And I think that’s a perfect summary of the book.
"Danny? Look at me.”
“Yes?”
She pauses and I try to hold her gaze. The problem is that looking at her is like looking into a megawatt light-bulb; I’m just so human and she’s just so bright.
I don’t really know what else to say about it, because it’s definitely an experience to read this book. But the love subplot was SO GOOD. I swear, it was the first time I read a sex scene and didn’t feel the urge to cringe on some level. It was exactly what it needed it to be. Both girls were clinging to each other at one point in the book, and they realize later that they had to let go. And then they found their ways back to each other, because like all things managing to stay afloat in the Great Ocean of Life, you can’t stray very far from the ones who you need to survive.
It’s only after, when your sweat is drying and you’re regaining the feeling in your toes that you realize you’re some sort of miracle. What else do you call going to pieces without falling apart?
I’ve seen reviews calling the love interest a “manic pixie dream girl” and I see where they’re coming from, but I don’t think it’s true at all. I think she was someone struggling, and she found solace in Danny. She found someone who understands, on some level, the need to escape from her struggles. They talk about running away to Paris because that’s what teenagers do.
When I have a fight with my parents, I tell my bestfriend that I’d give anything to be in Paris with her, having the freedom to choose what I wanted in life. I don’t think it makes someone a manic dream girl if all they want is the freedom to get away from the things that are suffocating them for a while. Because, god, we all deserve that feeling, you know?
”I think, besides my gravestone reading ‘tried and failed to lose the same twenty-five pounds,’ my greatest fear is that when we die there’s nothing, not even a hole to suggest we might have once conducted a mediocre life here. Isn’t that why people try to write epic novels and compose famous symphonies and build monuments and put human debris on the moon? To avoid oblivion?”
Wow, so I thought I didn’t have a lot to say about this book but I apparently do. So here, have these words. I’m going to type up the quotes that I loved a lot - and treasure the poem this book gave me forever. I don’t know how I went this long without knowing about “Wild Geese,” because it is everything.
So thank you, Florence Gonsalves, for that.
'"Look, I’m sorry that I’m not as strong-stomached as the rest of you. I’m sorry the second that bad shit happens I lock myself in my inner closet and don’t come out. I need to do this my way, and I’m sorry if that offends you, and even though I could probably try a little harder to do things your way, I like who I am and I like doing things my way.”
It’s probably a stretch to say I like who I am, but maybe if I say it enough times, it’ll be true.’