What do you think?
Rate this book
Grieving a Suicide: A Loved One's Search for Comfort, Answers, and Hope
A 2003 Finalist in the United Kingdom Christian Book Awards
"Albert," the neighbor said, "your mom needs you to come home."
That's how it began for Albert Hsu when his father died. Anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide experiences tremendous shock and trauma. What follows is a confusing mix of emotions—anger, guilt, grief, and despair.
Suicide raises heartrending questions:
Why did this happen?
Why didn?t we see it coming?
Could we have done anything to prevent it?
How can we go on?
Many also wonder if those who choose suicide are doomed to an eternity separated from God and their loved ones. Some may even start asking whether life is worth living at all.
After his father's death, Hsu wrestled with the intense emotional and theological questions surrounding suicide. While acknowledging that there are no easy answers, he draws on the resources of the Christian faith to point suicide survivors to the God who offers comfort in our grief and hope for the future.
For those who have lost a loved one to suicide and for their counselors and pastors, this book is an essential companion for the journey toward healing. This revised edition incorporates updated statistics and now includes a discussion guide for suicide survivor groups. [Publisher's description]
"Albert," the neighbor said, "your mom needs you to come home."
That's how it began for Albert Hsu when his father died. Anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide experiences tremendous shock and trauma. What follows is a confusing mix of emotions—anger, guilt, grief, and despair.
Suicide raises heartrending questions:
Why did this happen?
Why didn?t we see it coming?
Could we have done anything to prevent it?
How can we go on?
Many also wonder if those who choose suicide are doomed to an eternity separated from God and their loved ones. Some may even start asking whether life is worth living at all.
After his father's death, Hsu wrestled with the intense emotional and theological questions surrounding suicide. While acknowledging that there are no easy answers, he draws on the resources of the Christian faith to point suicide survivors to the God who offers comfort in our grief and hope for the future.
For those who have lost a loved one to suicide and for their counselors and pastors, this book is an essential companion for the journey toward healing. This revised edition incorporates updated statistics and now includes a discussion guide for suicide survivor groups. [Publisher's description]
224 pages, Paperback
First published June 11, 2002
72 people are currently reading
223 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews
January 15, 2025
Excellent book with a very raw, honest, and healthy “spirituality of grief”, which is so helpful in caring for those in my life who have experienced deep pain, including suicide. My grandfather died by suicide, and I have dear friends who have lost loved ones to suicide. Their stories (and my story) will never be the same. I felt the ending 2 sentences of this book were perfect:
“We will remind our son that even though suicide is a tragedy, God gives us hope and a reason to live. Someday we will see a new heaven and a new earth where death is swallowed up in victory and we shall never grieve again.”
Amen ❤️
“We will remind our son that even though suicide is a tragedy, God gives us hope and a reason to live. Someday we will see a new heaven and a new earth where death is swallowed up in victory and we shall never grieve again.”
Amen ❤️
November 28, 2020
I just read this through for a second time, this time with a sweet friend who also lost her dad to suicide. If you know anyone who has walked through this kind of loss, I highly recommend you read this book too. Suicide grief is incredibly complicated and this book does a great job of walking through the complexities, naming many of the unique feelings that come along with it, and providing hope and steps for a future without the person you loved. My dad died of suicide 5 years ago. The grief is gentler these days, but so many questions will go unanswered and there will never be a pretty little bow to wrap around the suffering. I appreciate the author’s vulnerability as he talks about his father’s suicide and also how he doesn’t provide any pat answers for the pain. One of our favorite parts to discuss was his chapter on the stories of people in the Bible who have despaired of their life to the point of wanting to die and then some who have chosen that. Seeing the Bible address suicide and it’s grief head on makes it so much easier to talk about and find hope to walk through with the God who has unequivocal compassion for the sufferer and the victims left in the suicide’s wake. The only warning is this book does talk descriptively about the ways people kill themselves. I’m sure there is intentionality and purpose behind why he did that, but it can be shocking at first.
June 11, 2022
Not a book I would have ever had on my tbr list.. because you never anticipate that you’ll be here. “We are like members of a secret society”- one that no one wants to be a part of, one that we wish we had not been initiated into.
So very thankful that Hsu had the courage to share his experience and to use it to offer comfort to others sharing in this grief.
A book I cried over, not surprisingly. But a book that I will forever cherish, as it gave words to so many things I have felt and experienced.
I’d encourage anyone who has a friend who has survived a suicide to consider reading this as well. To quote Nicholas Wolterstorff “I need to hear from you that you are with me in my desperation. To comfort me, you have to come close. Come sit beside me on my mourning bench”.
I love you AJ. I will never stop loving you.
So very thankful that Hsu had the courage to share his experience and to use it to offer comfort to others sharing in this grief.
A book I cried over, not surprisingly. But a book that I will forever cherish, as it gave words to so many things I have felt and experienced.
I’d encourage anyone who has a friend who has survived a suicide to consider reading this as well. To quote Nicholas Wolterstorff “I need to hear from you that you are with me in my desperation. To comfort me, you have to come close. Come sit beside me on my mourning bench”.
I love you AJ. I will never stop loving you.
Read
May 9, 2022Unsure how to rate this, would be 4 stars if you could cut out chapters 8 and 9. Though I read it to understand the topic and it was very good for that.
The author shares a very personal account of how his father took his own life, what happened next, what things were helpful and some of what was not.
Chapters 1-6 are really good for helping you understand what someone may feel like following the suicide of a loved one. Alongside this they present some guidance on how to process and perhaps how to help someone process this grief, there are really helpful thoughts around how to lament, but also how to relinquish.
Chapter 7 makes a helpful reasonable case that suicide is NOT an unforgivable sin.
Chapters 8 and 9 attempt to present a theology of suffering but it seriously contradicts orthodox christianity (following Jürgen Moltmann's idea of the God who suffers), aside from being wrong I don't think this approach is very helpful - it may make someone feel better in the short term but not the long term.
Chapters 10 and 11 give further practical advice on how someone can make good positive healing steps including finding support from others.
The author shares a very personal account of how his father took his own life, what happened next, what things were helpful and some of what was not.
Chapters 1-6 are really good for helping you understand what someone may feel like following the suicide of a loved one. Alongside this they present some guidance on how to process and perhaps how to help someone process this grief, there are really helpful thoughts around how to lament, but also how to relinquish.
Chapter 7 makes a helpful reasonable case that suicide is NOT an unforgivable sin.
Chapters 8 and 9 attempt to present a theology of suffering but it seriously contradicts orthodox christianity (following Jürgen Moltmann's idea of the God who suffers), aside from being wrong I don't think this approach is very helpful - it may make someone feel better in the short term but not the long term.
Chapters 10 and 11 give further practical advice on how someone can make good positive healing steps including finding support from others.
February 11, 2021
A life preserver for a shredded heart
My precious daughter took her life on December 19, 2020. She left no note or reason. She left nothing for her loving and supportive husband, her b, her dad and me, her friends.
This book has been my comfort and a rope to reality. I have felt cared for and understood. My grief is immeasurable and unceasing. Albert has been where I am and has come through. I pray I will as well.
My precious daughter took her life on December 19, 2020. She left no note or reason. She left nothing for her loving and supportive husband, her b, her dad and me, her friends.
This book has been my comfort and a rope to reality. I have felt cared for and understood. My grief is immeasurable and unceasing. Albert has been where I am and has come through. I pray I will as well.
July 22, 2017
Summary: A narrative of how the author learned to deal with the trauma of his father’s suicide, the questions it raised, and the movement through grief toward healing.
Albert Hsu is a survivor, and part of a large group of similar survivors. Following a stroke, his father descended into depression as he coped with rehabilitation. One night, he went into his own bedroom and took his life. Hsu is part of a group that extends to many of us who have lost someone we love, a friend, a family member, a work colleague, when they chose to take their lives. He writes,
“In most literature on the topic, “suicide survivor” refers to a loved one left behind by a
suicide—husband, wife, parent, child, roommate, coworker, another family member, friend—not a person who has survived a suicide attempt. It is no coincidence that the term survivor is commonly applied to those who have experienced a horrible catastrophe of earth-shattering proportions. We speak of Holocaust survivors or of survivors of genocide, terrorism, or war. So it is with those of us who survive a suicide. According to the American Psychiatric Association, ‘the level of stress resulting from the suicide of a loved one is ranked as catastrophic—equivalent to that of a concentration camp experience.’
. . .
Such is the case for survivors of suicide. We have experienced a trauma on par psychologically with the experience of soldiers in combat. In the aftermath, we simply don’t know if we can endure the pain and anguish. Because death has struck so close to home, life itself seems uncertain. We don’t know if we can go on from day to day. We wonder if we will be consumed by the same despair that claimed our loved one. At the very least, we know that our life will never be the same. If we go on living, we will do so as people who see the world very differently” (p. 10).
Hsu’s unfolds the survivor experience in three parts. The first is the particular experience of grief one goes through when suicide strikes. With many examples from his own experience and those of other survivors, he traces a journey from shock, through turmoil, lament, relinquishment, to remembrance. In shock there is the numbness that may only be able to say “I don’t think I can handle anything right now. I need you to take care of some things for me.” Turmoil is going through a jumble of emotions from grief to abandonment, from failure to guilt, anger, and fear, and even a temptation to self-destructiveness, and a distraction that cannot focus. Lament gives voice to the grief, including acknowledging the reality of the suicide. What I most appreciated is the idea that to lament is to express one’s love for one you have lost. Relinquishment involves facing death as friend, enemy, intruder, and yet that death does not have the final word for those who believe. The chapter on remembrance was perhaps one of the most beautiful in the book as Hsu begins with how his pastor spoke about his father at the funeral, how he began to discover aspects of his father’s life he never knew, and how he created ways to remember his father, not to keep him alive, which he was not, but to honor him, and to give thanks to God for his life.
The second part of the book explores three hard questions survivors struggle with. The first is “why did this happen?” Hsu not only explores the factors that contribute to suicide but also the underlying reason we ask this question, which is because we wonder what we might have done differently. The second question is, “is suicide the unforgiveable sin?” Hsu would propose that this does not put a person beyond God’s forgiveness and the hope of eternal life. The third is, “where is God when it hurts?” Here Hsu talks about the biblical portrayal of a God who enters deeply into suffering, ultimately in Christ, who, as hard as it is to believe or feel, is with us and suffers with us.
The final part of the book explores life after suicide. He explores the spirituality of grief, as we struggle to find purpose in suffering, move from despair to hope, and the experience of healing, but never closure. He writes most helpfully about the healing community, and what is helpful and unhelpful to say and do. Here he also addresses what the church can do in growing in suicide awareness and prevention. Finally, he concludes with some of the lessons of suicide for his own life.
This is a profoundly thoughtful, personal, and gentle book. One senses as one reads that Hsu knows other survivors, people in pain, are reading this book. He gives them permission to put it down if it is just too hard. He carefully names the places of pain, those he faced in his own life. He helps survivors know that what they are feeling and what they are asking are entirely appropriate to the trauma they have faced. He does something more. Having allowed people to openly own the pain they are experiencing, he shares, not tritely but honestly out of his own experience, the journey to hope, and even the hope that one day, they like him may become wounded healers for others.
____________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
Albert Hsu is a survivor, and part of a large group of similar survivors. Following a stroke, his father descended into depression as he coped with rehabilitation. One night, he went into his own bedroom and took his life. Hsu is part of a group that extends to many of us who have lost someone we love, a friend, a family member, a work colleague, when they chose to take their lives. He writes,
“In most literature on the topic, “suicide survivor” refers to a loved one left behind by a
suicide—husband, wife, parent, child, roommate, coworker, another family member, friend—not a person who has survived a suicide attempt. It is no coincidence that the term survivor is commonly applied to those who have experienced a horrible catastrophe of earth-shattering proportions. We speak of Holocaust survivors or of survivors of genocide, terrorism, or war. So it is with those of us who survive a suicide. According to the American Psychiatric Association, ‘the level of stress resulting from the suicide of a loved one is ranked as catastrophic—equivalent to that of a concentration camp experience.’
. . .
Such is the case for survivors of suicide. We have experienced a trauma on par psychologically with the experience of soldiers in combat. In the aftermath, we simply don’t know if we can endure the pain and anguish. Because death has struck so close to home, life itself seems uncertain. We don’t know if we can go on from day to day. We wonder if we will be consumed by the same despair that claimed our loved one. At the very least, we know that our life will never be the same. If we go on living, we will do so as people who see the world very differently” (p. 10).
Hsu’s unfolds the survivor experience in three parts. The first is the particular experience of grief one goes through when suicide strikes. With many examples from his own experience and those of other survivors, he traces a journey from shock, through turmoil, lament, relinquishment, to remembrance. In shock there is the numbness that may only be able to say “I don’t think I can handle anything right now. I need you to take care of some things for me.” Turmoil is going through a jumble of emotions from grief to abandonment, from failure to guilt, anger, and fear, and even a temptation to self-destructiveness, and a distraction that cannot focus. Lament gives voice to the grief, including acknowledging the reality of the suicide. What I most appreciated is the idea that to lament is to express one’s love for one you have lost. Relinquishment involves facing death as friend, enemy, intruder, and yet that death does not have the final word for those who believe. The chapter on remembrance was perhaps one of the most beautiful in the book as Hsu begins with how his pastor spoke about his father at the funeral, how he began to discover aspects of his father’s life he never knew, and how he created ways to remember his father, not to keep him alive, which he was not, but to honor him, and to give thanks to God for his life.
The second part of the book explores three hard questions survivors struggle with. The first is “why did this happen?” Hsu not only explores the factors that contribute to suicide but also the underlying reason we ask this question, which is because we wonder what we might have done differently. The second question is, “is suicide the unforgiveable sin?” Hsu would propose that this does not put a person beyond God’s forgiveness and the hope of eternal life. The third is, “where is God when it hurts?” Here Hsu talks about the biblical portrayal of a God who enters deeply into suffering, ultimately in Christ, who, as hard as it is to believe or feel, is with us and suffers with us.
The final part of the book explores life after suicide. He explores the spirituality of grief, as we struggle to find purpose in suffering, move from despair to hope, and the experience of healing, but never closure. He writes most helpfully about the healing community, and what is helpful and unhelpful to say and do. Here he also addresses what the church can do in growing in suicide awareness and prevention. Finally, he concludes with some of the lessons of suicide for his own life.
This is a profoundly thoughtful, personal, and gentle book. One senses as one reads that Hsu knows other survivors, people in pain, are reading this book. He gives them permission to put it down if it is just too hard. He carefully names the places of pain, those he faced in his own life. He helps survivors know that what they are feeling and what they are asking are entirely appropriate to the trauma they have faced. He does something more. Having allowed people to openly own the pain they are experiencing, he shares, not tritely but honestly out of his own experience, the journey to hope, and even the hope that one day, they like him may become wounded healers for others.
____________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
September 19, 2023
I hope no one ever needs to read this book, but should they find themselves looking for answers after losing someone to suicide I would recommend this book above any other. The help and hope Albert Hsu provides is backed with numerous Bible references, additional resources, and published studies and statistics. Written with compassion and an understanding (like only someone who has experienced this type of loss could do), Albert Hsu walks readers through the stages of complicated grief, dealing with unanswered questions, how to continue life after a traumatic tragedy, and how we can find Godly comfort during our loss.
September 3, 2022
I wish this book had been available in 1975, when, as an 18-year-old, my life changed forever. The next twenty-something years would have been different; it was that long before I dealt with my anger and spoke publicly about it. For those, like me, considered a "survivor" of the suicide of a family member (for me, my sweet mom), this book offers some direction on how to manage through it, as best one can (acknowledging that it is a long but not impossible road). For the Christian, it helps answer the difficult questions, even when the answers simply may be unknowable. But you do not have to be a Christian to get help from this book. You do, however, have to admit that you could use the help.
November 20, 2017
With the exception of some word choices and more method description than I would have liked, this is a helpful reflection for loss survivors, particularly those struggling to mesh the range of Christian views with their experience.
May 14, 2024
The biggest strength of this book is making you realize how not-alone you are in this unique grief. Some parts opened up doors of grief that I didn’t know I hadn’t opened yet. It will rip you open, yet encourage you with biblical truths over and over again.
If you’re reading this- I am so very sorry and you are not alone.
Love you and miss you, grandpa.
If you’re reading this- I am so very sorry and you are not alone.
Love you and miss you, grandpa.
July 30, 2017
Compassionate, direct, hopeful, and honest. This book may be painful to read for someone who *recently* lost a loved one to suicide, but in time, I can see this being very helpful in navigating the complex grief/trauma of suicide.
August 7, 2018
I really benefited from this account, though I somehow hoped for more from it. There is a lot that is honest and vulnerable, and these sections, where Albert Hsu recounts the loss of his father and the turmoil that followed, are the most compelling and helpful in this book. This is what kept me reading through some of the sections that seemed, well, less compelling. Some of the sections where Hsu is reflecting on his experience I've quoted and keep with me. Other sections, mostly in the middle that are expository and based on obvious research, do seem needed and are even helpful, though I've read much of this in other accounts. I admit that these sections open out into broader concerns and might be skimmed. But then there are the sections which are meant to show how the Christian faith can help us who are survivors, giving us perspectives to draw on. I wanted more from this section. I wanted the author's deepened perspective resulting from his experience as a survivor to guide me into a deepened sense of how God is not lost in our suffering. Instead, these chapters sometimes felt a little compulsory. I should honestly say that there are real attempts here to grapple with the problems of pain brought on by suicide. But somehow, the theology here doesn't really go far enough. No matter how much we say that God suffers more than we do, that he suffers as God, as an absolute being, while we are fragmented--and I can accept this in the abstract--yet it remains abstract. After all, He is God. We are dust. Yet there are certainly insights here that I haven't found in other, more secular approaches--the number of suicides in the Bible, the fact that Jesus wept at his friend's graveside instead of saying, "He's in a better place." There is some helpful material about Jewish mourning, and this is so good. But the need to bring in some scriptures that I am right now struggling to accept and to make this an occasion to preach the gospel almost felt like IVP's own editorial policy getting in the way a little. I really want to see how God can renew the lives of survivors. This wasn't always evident here.
June 1, 2017
Honestly, I think this book changed my life. Losing a loved one to suicide is life changing in itself, but this book further alter that change. I've seen scripture and biblical stories with a whole new perspective. This book got me highlighting and writing in the margins which i NEVER do. Would absolutely recommend to anyone whose lost a love one to suicide.
July 23, 2018
This is a book I have seen recommended to those who have lost a loved one to suicide. The author tells about his journey losing his father. Mr. Hsu does an excellent job at weaving hope into the intense theological and emotional questions that suicide survivors experience. He draws on his Christian faith to help offer comfort and healing.
October 14, 2023
This week, I discovered this book as I was ordering it for a friend who leads the Stephen Ministry at our church. This book was offered for sale by Stephen Ministry for its lay caregivers who seek to care for members of their church congregations by walking alongside those who are in a season of unusual suffering.
As I ordered the book for my friend, I reflected on the recent news of an acquaintance's suicide, remembered another friend's cousin committed suicide within the past couple of years, and recalled how another acquaintance's teenage daughter also died of suicide, and even a former VP where I worked took his own life decades ago. I decided to see if my library carried this book, and I was gratified to see that they do, and that it's an audiobook on Hoopla through them.
This book covers a sober topic with sensitivity, humility, strength and hope. I found myself being carried along, vicariously feeling some of the anguish of the survivors who are left behind, and gratefully learning about resources, theology, and even statistics to help round out the factual details of suicide.
The author's treatment of suicide as related to mental health was helpful in relieving survivors' guilt for me, reminding me gently but logically what we can and cannot do to prevent suicide.
I'm grateful that Hsu wrote this book, and I'm enriched for reading it. Especially meaningful was that the audiobook was read by the author's brother, and that they are Chinese, as I am, so I could relate to some of the stoicism and nuances of the cultural background he comes from.
I recommend this book to everyone, because we all know someone who has committed suicide, or is contemplating it, and we will be a better community, and better people, for being prepared with the contents of this book before it's too late for someone whose life has not yet been taken, who is still alive to receive hope, help, and our loving and informed care and intervention.
As I ordered the book for my friend, I reflected on the recent news of an acquaintance's suicide, remembered another friend's cousin committed suicide within the past couple of years, and recalled how another acquaintance's teenage daughter also died of suicide, and even a former VP where I worked took his own life decades ago. I decided to see if my library carried this book, and I was gratified to see that they do, and that it's an audiobook on Hoopla through them.
This book covers a sober topic with sensitivity, humility, strength and hope. I found myself being carried along, vicariously feeling some of the anguish of the survivors who are left behind, and gratefully learning about resources, theology, and even statistics to help round out the factual details of suicide.
The author's treatment of suicide as related to mental health was helpful in relieving survivors' guilt for me, reminding me gently but logically what we can and cannot do to prevent suicide.
I'm grateful that Hsu wrote this book, and I'm enriched for reading it. Especially meaningful was that the audiobook was read by the author's brother, and that they are Chinese, as I am, so I could relate to some of the stoicism and nuances of the cultural background he comes from.
I recommend this book to everyone, because we all know someone who has committed suicide, or is contemplating it, and we will be a better community, and better people, for being prepared with the contents of this book before it's too late for someone whose life has not yet been taken, who is still alive to receive hope, help, and our loving and informed care and intervention.
January 11, 2026
I wish I'd never heard of this book. I wish I didn't need this book. But I desperately did. I've joined a club I didn't want to be a part of and never dreamed I'd be forced to join. Over the past few months, I've read this slowly and it's been balm to my tears. For anyone who has been touched by suicide (or comforting those who have), I highly recommend.
Some helpful quotes -
“Our friend died on his own battlefield. He was killed in action fighting a civil war.” - p.71
“Remembrance is not merely backward looking. Remembrance as a spiritual discipline gives us strength to live in the present and direction to move forward. When our future seems uncertain, remembrance of God’s past trustworthiness gives us hope to carry one.” -p.76
“The true killers are despair, depression, hopelessness, and self-loathing. These are our most urgent problems, not the question of the morality of suicide. We should worry less about whether suicides go to heaven and more about how to help the suicidal find hope and meaning.” - p.122
“Grief is a process that turns the bereaved back to life. The goodness of grieving is that it brings us by stages into the stream of the living again, however slowly, however painfully. We do not stand by the grave forever. If we grieve properly, grief moves us back to life as different, changed people.” - p. 146
“Please: Don’t say it’s not really so bad. Because it is. Death is awful, demonic. If you think your task as a comforter is to tell me that really, all things considered, it’s not so bad, you do not sit with me in my grief but place yourself off in the distance away from me. Over there, you are of no help.” - Wolterstorff, p. 166
Some helpful quotes -
“Our friend died on his own battlefield. He was killed in action fighting a civil war.” - p.71
“Remembrance is not merely backward looking. Remembrance as a spiritual discipline gives us strength to live in the present and direction to move forward. When our future seems uncertain, remembrance of God’s past trustworthiness gives us hope to carry one.” -p.76
“The true killers are despair, depression, hopelessness, and self-loathing. These are our most urgent problems, not the question of the morality of suicide. We should worry less about whether suicides go to heaven and more about how to help the suicidal find hope and meaning.” - p.122
“Grief is a process that turns the bereaved back to life. The goodness of grieving is that it brings us by stages into the stream of the living again, however slowly, however painfully. We do not stand by the grave forever. If we grieve properly, grief moves us back to life as different, changed people.” - p. 146
“Please: Don’t say it’s not really so bad. Because it is. Death is awful, demonic. If you think your task as a comforter is to tell me that really, all things considered, it’s not so bad, you do not sit with me in my grief but place yourself off in the distance away from me. Over there, you are of no help.” - Wolterstorff, p. 166
October 23, 2025
Me and Albert disagree on everything that he says about god and religion since he is a complete believer, and I am thoroughly not.
However, on the facts about suicide, he is excellent.
Giving advice on how to deal with a suicide, he does well--until he begins preaching. For those with other faiths or no faith at all, that stuff about god and jesus is only annoying. Since we believe alternately or not at all, those words are fingernails on a chalkboard in a room where we are quietly grieving.
Also, and this is for you, Albert, nobody assigns you goddie points for flaunting your faith in our faiths or faces. The bible even says no showing off. Check Matthew 6:6. (Yes, I've read the book; how do you think I was convinced to leave?) Anyway, Albert, you just look lame to us as you twist and shout in your efforts to make pretzel sense of what is clear to the rest of us.
My advice to readers: read this book, but every time you encounter a paragraph about god, black that paragraph out with Magic Marker. Without the lies about afterlives, god, jesus, forgiveness, and worship, the book is good.
However, on the facts about suicide, he is excellent.
Giving advice on how to deal with a suicide, he does well--until he begins preaching. For those with other faiths or no faith at all, that stuff about god and jesus is only annoying. Since we believe alternately or not at all, those words are fingernails on a chalkboard in a room where we are quietly grieving.
Also, and this is for you, Albert, nobody assigns you goddie points for flaunting your faith in our faiths or faces. The bible even says no showing off. Check Matthew 6:6. (Yes, I've read the book; how do you think I was convinced to leave?) Anyway, Albert, you just look lame to us as you twist and shout in your efforts to make pretzel sense of what is clear to the rest of us.
My advice to readers: read this book, but every time you encounter a paragraph about god, black that paragraph out with Magic Marker. Without the lies about afterlives, god, jesus, forgiveness, and worship, the book is good.
January 24, 2021
Highly recommended book for both those who are grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide and for those who want to help minister to those who are going through such grief. Hsu writes as one who experienced the loss of his dad through suicide, so he knows the deep pain and complicated grief that comes with that kind of loss. He also writes with theological acumen and pastoral sensitivity. He’s well aware of the dangers of giving sufferers cheap platitudes and easy answers. He’s brutally honest about the pain of death and the particular tragedy of suicide, but he also holds out the immense hope of the gospel.
December 18, 2025
Of all the books I read on suicide loss, this one delivered the most—both emotionally and informationally. It’s by far the most comprehensive resource I found. What made it especially meaningful to me is that the author has personal experience, having lost his own father to suicide. This book approaches the topic of suicide loss from a faith-based perspective, yet not overly so. It gives just enough spiritual insight to help wrestle through questions about suicide and the Bible with grace and understanding. Aside from my own book, if I were to recommend just one resource for suicide loss survivors, it would be this one.
August 18, 2018
A much needed look into the practical everyday life experience of someone who has lost a parent, spouse or child to depression which leads to suicide. I so much appreciate Albert's personal approach and heartfelt expression of what he is presently living through on the other side of the initial shock. It has been a great help to my own personal journey and walking with those who are presently hurting with the why question. Please read this excellent book and share it with a friend!
May 18, 2019
Thoughtful and honest writing about a son's devastating loss and effort to move forward following the suicide of his father. Written from a Christian's perspective with excerpts from the Bible, the book explains that the love and salvation promised by God's word is there for the victims and survivors of suicide.
January 28, 2020
This was the most helpful book I have read since my son went to Heaven. Thank you for being so honest, as I truly feel like Mr. Hsu knows exactly everything I am going through. I recommend all Fire and Law Enforcement Chaplins read this book to have a better understanding of how to help and guide suicide survivors.
December 11, 2024
I would thoroughly recommend this as a resource for anyone struggling with the aftermath of suicide- or if you are in any way responsible for looking after someone who has been affected.
It is pastoral, warm yet firm. Sometimes I wish it laboured less on philosophical argumentation, and one might find the many, many real examples in the book distressing- but this is a very helpful resource.
It is pastoral, warm yet firm. Sometimes I wish it laboured less on philosophical argumentation, and one might find the many, many real examples in the book distressing- but this is a very helpful resource.
March 3, 2018
A very helpful book
This book is a great help to those suffering the loss of a loved one to suicide. It helps the reader make sense of the emotions and process of grieving such a loss.
This book is a great help to those suffering the loss of a loved one to suicide. It helps the reader make sense of the emotions and process of grieving such a loss.
February 14, 2020
Christian based but still really relatable for anyone working through the loss of a loved one from suicide. I skipped through some parts that were bible-focused but still got a lot out of reading it.
Read
March 10, 2022DNF. This book is very explicit in describing suicide and needs a huge trigger warning. I thought this would help me heal but now I feel worse. PLEASE ADD TRIGGER WARNINGS EVEN IF YOU THINK IT MIGHT BE OBVIOUS.
July 27, 2022
I loved the insight in this book, and loved that it addressed real thoughts and feelings, even the difficult ones to face. And through it all there was a focus on the gospel in the saving love of Jesus Christ.
November 14, 2022
I’m very touched by the book and the vulnerability he chose to share about his father. Thank you for this resource to know that I’m not alone in the grieving process, and the advice to join a survivor support group.
May 4, 2017
The author is a Christian & writes about his journey after his Dad's suicide. This has a heavier focus on scripture than other Christian books on suicide loss I've read. I liked it.
March 16, 2018
I enjoyed this book, but it was just a bit too religious for me. It had some great advise/tips overall, just a lot of it was 'not my thing'. I would still recommend it, though.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews