Lois Remembers: Memoirs of the Co-Founder of Al-Anon and Wife of the Co-Founder of Alcoholics Anonymous

by Lois Wilson

Book by Lois B. Wilson

Genres: Biography, History, Addiction, Nonfiction

203 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 1979

Reviews

[Donald Powell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lois Wilson was the wife of Alcoholics Anonymous co-founder Bill W. and herself a founder of Al-Anon. This is her biography, a history of early AA and Al-Anon. She ends with a discussion of the Al-Anon and Alateen programs. She was a wonderful woman of wide interests, vital energy, perseverance and abounding love. Her last few paragraphs about "love" are timeless and very important. The book is well written and has some illustrations she drew. A wonderful and moving life is recoded!

[Kristine · Rating 5 out of 5]

The preface includes this paragraph: "The big lesson I have learned is that we cannot change another human being---only ourselves. By living our own lives to the best of our ability, by loving deeply and not trying to mold another to our wishes, we can help not only ourselves but that other also.". Simple yet profound.

[Maddie]

wonderful. perfect portrait of the beginnings of a wonderful program begun and authored by one if the finest American Women of the last 100 years.

[John B · Rating 5 out of 5]

"...Bill was my life." As is often the situation with spouses of alcoholics and other addicted person, their lives become enmeshed with addicted spouse/person at the expense of their personal identity. Lois honestly portrays this in her heart felt story of pain, confusion, devotion and love. She shares with us the events that were so significant in her life, and, so often in their marriage, those event focused on her alcoholic husband, Bill. The failures of Bill are her failures. She writes, "my ego was so great I felt that I could change him into what I thought he ought to be."

Lois shows not only the progress of Bill's disease but of her own as she is absorbed by the family disease of alcoholism. But then we are also privileged to the events that changed their lives. As Bill found recovery in the fellowship of his disease, it took Lois added time to understand how her life had been affected and what she could do to find the recovery she saw her husband experiencing.

Her fellowship with other spouses of alcoholics, and with other recovering alcoholics became the foundation of her spiritual awakening. While not as dramatic as Bill's, it was absolutely no less important. It required the discovery that a fellowship for families of alcoholics was as necessary as the fellowship for alcoholics. It took only 13 years after the founding of AA for the fellowship of Al-Anon to come into its own. A fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics in which to share, to foster change, and to build new dreams.

Her humility is seen in the closing paragraph of the "Lois Remembers" Preface, "These pages reflect some of the love I feel for all AAs and Al-Anons whether they read these pages or not. But for those who do, I hope my sharing will be meaningful."

[Deborah Bryson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t want to use my modern brush to rate this book. It is sometimes old fashioned and restrained in a genteel writing style. I am glad I read it though. She writes about Bill’s drunkenness so simply. She also downplays any sadness or hardships in her own life. I am really glad I read this book because it explains ‘the program’ in such a way that I understand it’s gendered biases and it’s underpinnings of class structure.

[Liese Recke]

only interesting for nerdy readers who wants to know more about the history and the ideology of the 12 steps

[Reina Smoley-balog · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was difficult to rate and to read. I was interested in Lois' story of her life with Bill W. And the founding of AA and AlAnon but her writing style is more telling than showing. There are a few passages where she really lets us in on her thinking and feeling, but most of it is a broad brush listing of events.

[Becky · Rating 2 out of 5]

I started this, but became bugged by her focus on her husband. I guess that was the idea--tell the story of the wife of the co-founder of AA. Still, I wanted to hear a more honest account of her upbringing, her experiences, apart from Bill.

[Ray A. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written in very simple language, this is a personal, intimate, and candid memoir of Lois' life with Bill. More about Bill than about Lois, and more about AA than about A-Anon, it gives us an insider's, up-close view we can get nowhere else.

[Karen Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

She spoke from the heart, which I really appreciated. She either kept very good notes had an amazing memory!

[Pixel Rainbow · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for anyone interested in learning about how the AA programs came into fruition. When we learn about the history and foundations of the tools we use we can better understand and implement them. The traditions always seemed strange to me, why would we need direction as a group when the program is so heavily individualistic, learning about the problems that arose of groups disagreeing and outside influence and interest, it became apparent the need for such guidance. This book is inspiring and comforting in all of the stories it shares of despair and frustration and how they transform into love, understanding, and prosperity. It also is a great example of how different people’s journey’s to the programs are unique and how even when one doesn’t stay sober forever or may relapse any sober time and education is extremely beneficial and nourishes those good periods of life that go well. The point of planting seeds before people dive in or come willingly is also highlighted. Sometimes large changes are minimized when solutions are not apparent immediately, many stories in this book show how patience, understanding, support, and set backs all are important ingredients towards ultimate success and health.

[Siobhain · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this is a lovely book It is a combination of the love story of Bill W., one of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, and his wife Lois, told from her perspective. It tells of their love, her attempts to "help" him as his alcoholism progressed, and the birth and growth of AA, Al-Anon, and Alateen. The first part about their relationship was the best part of the book for me. I found all the details in the development of these foundations less interesting, though there were gems of insight throughout the book. For those who are interested, there is a lovely Hallmark movie on the life of Lois and Bill W. and the founding of AA and Al-Anon called "When Love Is Not Enough," starring Winona Ryder. It is based on a different book but complements Lois Remembers nicely. I found what might be a pirated version on YouTube.

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. Lois goes into more detail about her early days with Bill W. and his battle with alcoholism. Well-written and an easy, fast read, she talks about the early days and development of the AA, Al-Anon and Alateen 12 Step programs. She also shares her memories of her relationship with Bill and how his drinking impacted them. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants a fuller understanding of how and why the programs developed the way they did.

[Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the story and how Lois told it. Again, she was a reflection of the time period. She shed more light on aspects of Bill.

[Maureen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting and important memior of the founder of Al Anon (support group of those that love and/or live with alcoholics/drug addicts). She was the wife of Bill W the guy who started AA.

[Denise O'Neil · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful Memoir on the history behind AA and Al-Anon. Written by Lois W, as it should be.

[Carmen · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting, historical nonfiction work which gives insight into AA and Al-Anon's beginnings. Well worth the time invested in reading.

[Abigail · Rating 5 out of 5]

Superbly written. They lived such interesting lives.