Vintage Sadness

by Hanif Abdurraqib, Hanif Abdurraqib

There is music for dancing & for grieving, for sexting & responding to a snarky rejection letter. In his follow-up to the acclaimed The Crown Ain't Worth Much, Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib channels Ginuwine, Prince, and Carly Rae Jepsen to artfully reflect on intimacy, friendship, and becoming an adult. Vintage Sadness further cements Willis-Abdurraqib as one of the most important voices of our generation and proves that each life has its own tender soundtrack.

Genres: Poetry, Nonfiction, Music, Grief, LGBT, Essays

56 pages, Paperback

First published June 13, 2017

About the author

Hanif Abdurraqib is a poet, essayist, and cultural critic from Columbus, Ohio. His poetry has been published in Muzzle, Vinyl, PEN American, and various other journals. His essays and music criticism have been published in The FADER, Pitchfork, The New Yorker, and The New York Times. His first full length poetry collection, The Crown Ain't Worth Much, was released in June 2016 from Button Poetry. It was named a finalist for the Eric Hoffer Book Prize, and was nominated for a Hurston-Wright Legacy Award. With Big Lucks, he released a limited edition chapbook, Vintage Sadness, in summer 2017 (you cannot get it anymore and he is very sorry.) His first collection of essays, They Can't Kill Us Until They Kill Us, was released in winter 2017 by Two Dollar Radio and was named a book of the year by Buzzfeed, Esquire, NPR, Oprah Magazine, Paste, CBC, The Los Angeles Review, Pitchfork, and The Chicago Tribune, among others. He released Go Ahead In The Rain: Notes To A Tribe Called Quest with University of Texas press in February 2019. The book became a New York Times Bestseller, and was met with critical acclaim. His second collection of poems, A Fortune For Your Disaster, was released in 2019 by Tin House. He is a graduate of Beechcroft High School.

Reviews

[el · Rating 4 out of 5]

every time i read hanif willis-abdurraqib’s work, i have to catch my breath. he has the careful balancing act between tender and terrifying down pat—the strange liminal space between the two locates a part of me that i have only felt flounder at certain hours. most of them sunset. i love his brain:

I just want to touch someone who thinks of me while their coffee cools. I just want to kiss a mouth that has grown my name inside. I just want to make good use of all this nighttime.

[Madina · Rating 5 out of 5]

honestly, you can already tell this 5 star review was coming. i read the bootlegged version (hanif thank you thank you thank you for making the book accessible for a brokeass non-american teenage girl) & i was like.... choking all the time reading it. but god AND WHAT GOOD WILL YOUR VANITY BE WHEN THE RAPTURE COMES tore me into pieces & i don't regret that at all.

[Kurt Neumaier · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite writer. The greatest poet to ever write a poem about Carly Rae Jepsen's magnum opus E-MO-TION

[vivian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Vintage Sadness is a short 40-page read that packs a punch. Throughout the books it feels as if you're walking into Abdurraqib's contemporary solo exhibition - the poems loud and clear on the plaque and a pair of headphones hang right next to it with the music selection it referenced.

Have you ever listened to a song before that felt completely different one day based on the context of how you're feeling? That is the feeling I was grasping at while I was reading his poems. Abdurraqib's craftsmanship with his words is not showy or pretentious, but simple and impactful. Each word placed carefully like a choreographed string of voice(s) that push and probe topics of grief, love, violence, racism, and death. I've never seen punctuation in poems put into play like how Abdurraqib does it. It's cunningly rhythmic and puts you into a thinking pause as you absorb the poem word for word.

Melancholy is a soft spot for me and Abdurraqib captured its rawness and aching beauty brilliantly. I said it before and I'll say again - this is *the* book that's getting me back into reading poetry again. And I'm curious to enter into Abdurraqib's mind more with his other works.

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

DAMN. Hanif is stupidly talented, and is very quickly becoming my favorite contemporary poet. How blessed we are to have two of his books coming out in 2017. This is a great, restrained collection, but still incredibly powerful. If you loved The Crown Ain't Worth Much, you'll undoubtedly love this...if you can get your hands on one of the limited copies!

[mariam · Rating 5 out of 5]

a poem about next - too close omg his mind is too powerful!!!

sometimes the drowning comes for you
sometimes the drowning becomes you yes, finally a
name for what ascends slow with the knowing of
what is not promised tomorrow sitting
up to whisper your lover’s name even
after they have left you
on a cold doorstep, graffiti on the walls
for the boys who died before learning this new language. A
humble fire in the bedroom of your childhood.

[dipandjelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the coolest and most poignant writers of our time, I think. And someone who knows exactly how to access that evasive, porous space between the sublime and the sentimental while also unabashedly being fond of, interested in, engaged with, and in love with things that would - in general parlance - fall under the category of fandom. The ekphrastic is so completely Abdurraqib's domain - in grief, in love, in tenderness, in wit. His melancholy is a melancholy that a poet can generally only aspire to articulate, no matter how deeply it is felt . We feel it, Abdurraqib knows how to put it into words. I read the bootlegged version of this while listening to a lot of the music referred herein, and it was a truly, truly sensorial experience into a shockingly simplistic space where someone was saying the things I want to read and say and write but that someone, unlike me, seemed to feel no hesitance or shame or self-indulgence in saying these things and feeling them and making it known that they are felt. I want to know how Abdurraqib's mind works when he's writing, just because I want to know how art like this comes into being wherein I, as a reader, feel simultaneously as though I have a glimpse into the writer's psyche and also my own - both in equal measure. Most of us aspire to feelings like this. I suspect that Abdurraqib is one of the rare few who actually knows how to write it.

[Joe Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic excuse to listen to Ginuwine's "Pony" or Bone Thugs' "Crossroads."

[joanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

"In the interview, they asked if you believe in love at first sight. You said I think I have to. You didn’t say we are all one hard storm away from dissolving, vanishing into the frenzied dusk. But I get it. I know what it is to walk into the mouth of an unfamiliar morning and feel everything. I touch hands with a stranger who gives me my change at the market, and I already know their history. I suppose this is survival. I will love those who no one else thinks to remember."

tender and brilliant notes on death, grief/survival, hunger, desire-as-hunger and occasionally as-an-act-of-conquering, & the fields of ohio. the frequency of run-on sentences without punctuation give the words a frenzied feel, where scenes are spun out with sweeping, visceral images. enjoyed this one a lot!!

favourites: Duran Duran - Girls on Film, Carly Rae Jepsen - Emotion, There are Prince Songs You Do Not Play Before Sunset, Bone Thugs N Harmony’s “Crossroads” Plays at the House Party on the Night the Police Officer Gets Acquitted in Cleveland, Olivia Newton John - Let's Get Physical, And What Good Will Your Vanity Be When the Rapture Comes, and three pieces titled only with two forward dashes //.

[Anthony · Rating 4 out of 5]

"he tells me this is called ghosting.
or, what it means to be defined only by the emptiness that once held you."

Reading anything by Hanif feels like I'm being given access to his most intimate thoughts but incredibly polished, raw and genuine at the same time. I got a free copy online and decided to give this a read. As always, he writes with enough emotional vigor to have you captivated throughout.

[Astra Toyip · Rating 4 out of 5]

some of these poems were the most beautiful and/or heartbreaking things i’ve ever read and some of them were written in response to pony by ginuwine. life is all about balance and I’ve always said that!

[camila · Rating 5 out of 5]

quería citar algo que me haya gustado mucho acá pero no me podía decidir entre “dying is hard when you have given birth to so much” y “son, you do not have to be afraid anymore. there is no city that is not my arms. I am everyone who loves you” y “this works better if you imagine loneliness / as something that can be uprooted & worn around the shoulders” y “Momma, if I die, / it will not be from a lack of anything. / I am full, I am full, I can barely / move” y todo el resto del poemario básicamente.

[floreana · Rating 5 out of 5]

"this is how i remember you / as grass / as flowers / as anything pushing out of the earth / in the name of its own survival / I throw a handful of dirt into the wind / it blows back into my eyes / and, there / I feel it kiss my forehead."

[Clint Morin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read the bootleg on a dim phone screen until the battery died . 5/5 would sacrifice Candy Crush and Reddit for this again.

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

You can read this for free here: https://www.biglucks.com/store/vintag...

Love Abdurraqib's writing style. His words pack a punch, for sure. Will be reading more of his works soon!

WATCHING THE FIRST SCENE OF “BELLY” WITH THE LIGHTS OFF, 2002

we ran from the nightclub / when the newspaper / told me that five people / were pulled from the Avalon’s bloody tile / it didn’t feel like I had survived / anything other than a Friday / with money in my pocket / but I still grabbed my boys / by the shirt / & hugged them in the front yard / like we just made it back from war / & there I go again / making another death romantic

[Thu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been meaning to read one of Hanif Abdurraqib's collections for a long time now, after having come across multiple poems of his on tumblr and falling in love with them immediately. yet, i was still surprised at just how much this collection took a hold of me. emotions pulse out of every poem. his words weave a rich tapestry of love, loneliness, grief and so much more. I cannot wait to read more of Abdurraqib's words.

[A.J · Rating 3 out of 5]

No I liked this a lot actually. I feel like I have to read everything this man has ever written and ever time I read something new he makes me question something. Like. Idk. I have all these feelings about this and no where to put them down

[Adam Oyster-Sands · Rating 5 out of 5]

Damn.

[Jak Krumholtz · Rating 4 out of 5]

That missing star probably reflects more on my relationship to poetry than Abdurraqib's work.

[Ruby Warhol · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this poetry collection, it's moving and inspiring and sad and funny and simply brilliant. Every unexpected line and well-crafted sentence was like a punch to the stomach, and I can't get enough of being punched.
There is grief, racism, poverty, love, sex, loneliness, and so much more, described in painfully beautiful words. Despite some of the poems being quite specific, you'll still be able to find yourself in the words if you're not a Black man in America. Emotions are universal, and the pictures that Hanif Abdurraqib paints can't leave anyone untouched.

Even before I got to the end, I already wanted to read it again immediately, and will probably return to it many times, if only to cure my own writer's block. And judging by the other reviews, I'm not the only one who read this and felt compelled to start writing.

I had downloaded the book as a free PDF on Big Lucks, but because it was so good, I think I'll have to buy it and keep it forever on my shelf, so I can still cherish it when the days of electricity have ended, the metaverse has exploded, and the internet has died.

[emma_troubadour · Rating 5 out of 5]

and what good will your vanity be when the rapture comes

Ugh. Brilliant as always.

[sylvie brekke · Rating 3 out of 5]

not really my style of poetry, but there were some impactful and interesting ideas discussed within

[Makala Hande · Rating 5 out of 5]

“i mean ain’t shit sacred in america / except songs & bullets / & i praise to one & have danced to both”

[angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

he’s irreplaceable. 40 pages but pack a punch as usual

[Bill DeGenaro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Strange and surreal long chapbook. Some pieces use pop or hip hop songs (or at least the titles of those songs) as occasions for poems that touch on violence, passion, humanity, and much more. Some imagine a conversation between a poet and editor about how writers imagine Ohio, the Midwest, the grass and the sky. Many are oddly touching, like the poem about the leaves so dazzling they could drown a funeral. Confident and unique poetry. Really liked this book...

[Gabrielle Squailia · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are very few living writers whose every word I will purchase if given the chance, but Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib has just rocketed to the top of that list. This was a limited edition thing so I can't tell you to buy it, but I can tell you buy The Crown Ain't Worth Much, and to wait with sweaty excitement for the next thing and the next.

[Gabriel · Rating 4 out of 5]

if you're like me and don't have a physical copy of this very-out-of-print chapbook you can read a hanif-sanctioned scanned PDF of it here:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1yg...

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I wake and remember only a harsh wind. I love nothing that can see its own reflection."

Vintage Hanif.

[Dina H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt every word in this book deep in my soul.



AND WHAT GOOD WILL YOUR VANITY BE WHEN THE RAPTURE COMES

says the man with a cart of empty bottles at the corner of church and lincoln while I stare into my phone and I say I know oh I know while trying to find the specific filter that will make the sun's near-flawless descent look
the way I might describe it in a poem and the man says the moment is already right in front of you and I say I know but everyone Ilove is not here and I mean here like on this street corner with me while I turn
the sky a darker shade of red on my phone and I mean here like everyone I love who I can still touch and not pass my fingers through like the wind in a dream but I look up at the man and he is a kaleidoscope
of shadows I mean his shadows have shadows and they are all small and trailing behind him and I know then that everyone he loves is also not here and the man doesn't ask but I still say hey man I've got nothing I've got nothing even though I have plenty to go home to and the sun is still hot even in its endless flirt with submission and the man's palm has a small river inside I mean he has taken my hand now and here we are tethered and unmoving and the man says what color are you making the sky and I say what I might say in a poem I say all surrender ends in blood and he says what color are you making the sky and I say something bright enough to make people wish they were here and he squints towards the dancing shrapnel of dying light along a rooftop and he says I love things only as they are and I'm sure I did once too but I can't prove it to anyone these days and he says the end isn't always about what dies and I know I know or I knew once and now I write about beautiful things like I will never touch a beautiful thing again and the man looks me in the eyes and he points to the blue-orange vault over heaven's gates and he says the face of everyone you miss is up there and I know I know I can't see them but I know and he turns my face to the horizon and he says we don't have much time left and I get that he means the time before the sun is finally through with its daily work or I think I get that but I still can't stop trembling and I close my eyes and I am sobbing on the corner of church and lincoln and when I open my eyes the sun is plucking everyone who has chosen to love me from the clouds and carrying them into the light-drunk horizon and I am seeing this and I know I am seeing this the girl who kissed me as a boy in the dairy aisle of meijer while our parents shopped and the older boy on the basketball team who taught me how to make a good fist and swing it into the jaw of a bully and the friends who crawled to my porch in the summer of any year I have been alive they were all there I saw their faces and it was like I was given the eyes of a newborn again and once you know what it is to be lonely it is hard to unsee that which serves as a reminder that you were not always empty and I am gasping into the now-dark air and I pull my shirt up to wipe whatever tears are left and I see the man walking in the other direction and I chase him down and tap his arm and I say did you see it did you see it like I did and he turns and leans into the glow of a streetlamp and he is anchored by a single shadow now and he sneers and he says have we met and he scoffs and pushes his cart off into the night and I can hear the glass rattling even as I watch him become small and vanish and I look down at my phone and the sky on the screen is still blood red.

[Ric · Rating 5 out of 5]

As always, Hanif Abdurraqib has an unparalleled ability to distill enormous emotions and experiences down into the most exquisite poems. He seamlessly leads the reader from a Carly Rae Jepsen interview into a rumination on loss. It never feels forced or kitschy. Sprinkled beneath titles that are predominantly musicians and/or song names, these poems deliver lines that are so stunning you don't realize your mouth has been hanging open since page 5.

While this book feels somewhat casual compared to his two other poetry collections, I am curious whether that was intentional to mollify the walloping truths he blindsides you with on these pages. Things like:

"there is still the small cavern that rests between my two front teeth, passed down from my mother, who had it passed down from her mother, who had it passed down from the back of a white woman’s hand after the white woman couldn’t see her reflection at the bottom of a clean dish. there will always be violence and the dark spaces it leaves when the morning comes."
---------
"don’t wear your sins better than a man who invented the god that judges them"
---------
"it is hard to make small talk if everyone you love is still alive

and the sky is threatening nothing
that you haven’t lived through a million times"
---------
"once you know what it is to be lonely it is hard to unsee that which serves as a reminder that you were not always empty"