I just want to explain my rating for this well written and engaging book – I suppose I rate books based on whether I enjoy them and would read them again. I didn't choose this to read myself; it was a choice from a friend within one of my Book Groups and I'm always determined to finish these choices. However, I do regard my reading time as leisure time, and I want to enjoy my leisure time.
If you hit a certain age - and you have eyes, ears and a degree of empathy – it is almost inevitable that you will hear some of the horrors of childhood that some people you know have faced. You realise that it has a lasting impact on people's lives, and of their families. It can affect thinking, living, working, relationships, friendships etc.
I have nothing against this heartfelt memoir, but I already live in a world where people I know have had fucked up childhoods, and where therapy is the order of the day for those with social capital, and full blown care needs assessments are often required for those without that money or support.
Ideally I want to feel sleepy after reading so I can fall asleep at bedtime. I don't want to be having strange dreams about family dynamics. I compartmentalise to do this, and this was an intrusion on those self imposed boundaries - hence the average rating.
I thought his memoir was cleverly structured, and I think the memoir showed his grand resilience throughout his life, with matter of fact accounts of his dysfunctional upbringing, his unearthing of skeletons in the cupboard all interspersed with the toils and travails of a season or so on his beloved allotment.
I think his narrative of his brother, and life with and without him, was the most compelling aspect of the account for me. I'm not a gardener or a grower, and I got a little weary of all the slugs and composting etc, though I appreciated the juxtaposition of family and allotment reproduction, disease, decay and then regeneration.
I was so pleased to get to then end to see a happy ending for the author, not only utilising his talents with his successful career but also with an apparently loving family all around him. Obviously his brother had life limiting chances, and I suspect some of his other siblings too, but he did well to keep himself sorted with his family, work and allotment structures.
Overall though, he did get across how our social conditioning imposes a thinking that our families are at the top of our relationships tree, and that blood is thicker than water no matter what – a sentiment that I've never been convinced by - families are conditional!