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Меняем привычки: 81 способ перестать действовать на автопилоте и достичь своих целей
В этой книге представлена методика избавления от нежелательных привычек с помощью повторения коротких ключевых фраз, напоминающих вам о ваших целях и решениях. Короткие фразы из этой книги работают, потому что они побеждают автоматическую систему и помогают вам сознательно понимать то, что вы сейчас делаете, они также служат вам коротким напоминаем о то, что вы хотите сделать в данный момент. Вы начинаете с одной фразы, повторяете ее до тех пор, пока она не «въедается» в вас настолько, что повторения становятся уже не нужны, затем беретесь за следующее изречение. С помощью этой методики вы сможете отказаться от «автопилота» и внедрять в свою жизн
226 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 14, 2017
75 people are currently reading
816 people want to read
About the author
M.J. Ryan
49 books110 followersMJ Ryan is one of the creators of the New York Times bestselling Random Acts of Kindness series and the author of The Happiness Makeover (nominated for the 2005 Books for Better Living award in the Motivational category), Attitudes of Gratitude, The Power of Patience, Trusting Yourself, The Giving Heart, and 365 Health and Happiness Boosters, among other titles. Altogether, there are 1.75 million copies of her titles in print.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
November 14, 2016
Not only can this book help you kick some of your bad habits, but it's fun to read! Each "habit changer" gets a two page entry; one page is simply the phrase that Ryan suggests you use to remind yourself of what you want to do, and the other is an introduction to the phrase. A lot of these introductory pages included a brief story of someone who benefitted from the phrase, or how the author came up with it, or even how she interprets it.
I honestly enjoyed every page of this book, and the fact that it can be helpful is a bonus. Now, I just need to decide what to do with my copy. It wouldn't hurt me to keep it myself, but I can think of quite a few people who could also use it - as you probably can, too.
Note: I received this book for free through Goodreads Giveaways.
I honestly enjoyed every page of this book, and the fact that it can be helpful is a bonus. Now, I just need to decide what to do with my copy. It wouldn't hurt me to keep it myself, but I can think of quite a few people who could also use it - as you probably can, too.
Note: I received this book for free through Goodreads Giveaways.
July 22, 2017
Pick an emotion or situation you want to work on. Then choose a mantra that suits the situation. Spend the next 9 months referring to the mantra as a reminder to act with a specific intention. Okay, I can dig that.
There are a lot of phrases in the book that I really like:
"My response is my responsibility" (p. 42)
"Surprise is the enemy of trust" (p. 68)
"If everything is a priority, nothing is" (p. 132)
"This is only a paper tiger" (p. 208)
There are others that I would completely rewrite or just cut in half. For example, "people do what people always do" (p. 16). What's wrong with "people are people"? I don't think Depeche Mode would mind. Give them credit and keep the mantra short.
Or there's this one: "talking and listening should be practiced in equal measure" (p. 72). I would rewrite this one as "listen more."
There seem to be some that duplicate each other as well.
I know I am just being picky and the point is really to put some thought into it and act mindfully, but in a way that works for you. In that respect, I think Ryan's book does accomplish its goal.
There are a lot of phrases in the book that I really like:
"My response is my responsibility" (p. 42)
"Surprise is the enemy of trust" (p. 68)
"If everything is a priority, nothing is" (p. 132)
"This is only a paper tiger" (p. 208)
There are others that I would completely rewrite or just cut in half. For example, "people do what people always do" (p. 16). What's wrong with "people are people"? I don't think Depeche Mode would mind. Give them credit and keep the mantra short.
Or there's this one: "talking and listening should be practiced in equal measure" (p. 72). I would rewrite this one as "listen more."
There seem to be some that duplicate each other as well.
I know I am just being picky and the point is really to put some thought into it and act mindfully, but in a way that works for you. In that respect, I think Ryan's book does accomplish its goal.
November 29, 2016
This is a great book about how you can work to change your habits. Read the full review on my blog: http://taylovesbooks.blogspot.com/201...
April 6, 2020
Если коротко, то книга - сборник "мантр", которые призваны помочь преодолеть привычное автоматическое поведение. Автор саморекламируется, конечно, и клиенты-то у нее все главы компаний, но предложения корректировки поведения вполне разумны, и идея с мантрами рабочая, так что попробовать стоит.
September 7, 2017
Meh. This book does a good job of giving straight forward strategies, but I only remember thinking 3 or 4 of them were super useful. Part of that is because of my personality though. If you wouldn't consider yourself naturally effective or productive at what you do, this might be a good read.
March 25, 2018
Skvělé mantry, které velmi pomohou v pracovním prostředí, zejména osobám na vyšších pozicích. Mantry jsou určené pro všechny, kdo chtějí být lepšími a efektivnějšími, jednoduše naleznout jakousi rovnováhu v pracovním i osobním životě. :)
February 18, 2018
First, I should note, this book is for geared toward professionals, people seeking (primarily) to change their habits within the realm of corporate or small business leadership and/or ladder-climbing. While the concepts could certainly be applied outside of the work realm, they're definitely written with "how to cope/improve at work" in mind. I'm in that audience as a business owner, so this should have appealed to me. Mostly, it did not.
Second, there are people who will love this book and the quickie concepts designed for Short Attention-Span Theater, but I'm not one of them. It's not that this is a bad book, but it feels less like a real book at all and more like a "gift book" or collection of short blog posts. It's very quick reading, but it lacks depth.
The central concept of the book is based on Buddhist lojongs or slogans, mantra-like sayings that one should repeat and bear in mind to try to effect change in one's behavior. I'm all about applying Buddhist principles (even though I'm not very good at doing so), so conceptually, Ryan's approach to turning short phrases into mantras, lojong-style, is nifty. However, she spends only 13 pages of this squished book trying to explain how the book came about, what lojongs and these mantras are, and how they should work -- really, only 5 pages are spent on how to use the knowledge in the book!
The rest of the book is formatted, alphabetically by concept (anger, conflict, prioritization, self-confidence) with two-to-four sub-concepts under each. The left side of a page introduces the mantra "Do only what you can do" or "Handshake your fear" or "To create success, focus on past success" and the right side of the page, in one long, page-spanning paragram, introduces a client who had an issue, and how the client overcame the obstacle by reminding himself or herself of the mantra.
On the plus side, Ryan occasionally includes references to books and to social science research (albeit, occasionally to research that has been debunked in part, like Amy Cuddy's power pose research). On the down side, there's very little practical advice to help someone actually use the mantra or concepts in the heat of the moment. A coach (as Ryan is) or a therapist should be providing much more of a framework for helping someone apply concepts than pages 9-13 provide.
This is not to say that the book is useless. For people who see success with naming/theming their years, having access to some of these concepts could be helpful. And those who carefully select one or two concepts and work hard to apply the mantras to their lives might be rewarded. However, for my purposes, this felt like weak-tea pop psychology. Had Ryan expanded the introductory material to about a third of the book and given more practical application (rather than mere narration) to the rest, perhaps without so many blank pages and artsy pages with only five or six words on them, I think she could have served a broader audience.
Second, there are people who will love this book and the quickie concepts designed for Short Attention-Span Theater, but I'm not one of them. It's not that this is a bad book, but it feels less like a real book at all and more like a "gift book" or collection of short blog posts. It's very quick reading, but it lacks depth.
The central concept of the book is based on Buddhist lojongs or slogans, mantra-like sayings that one should repeat and bear in mind to try to effect change in one's behavior. I'm all about applying Buddhist principles (even though I'm not very good at doing so), so conceptually, Ryan's approach to turning short phrases into mantras, lojong-style, is nifty. However, she spends only 13 pages of this squished book trying to explain how the book came about, what lojongs and these mantras are, and how they should work -- really, only 5 pages are spent on how to use the knowledge in the book!
The rest of the book is formatted, alphabetically by concept (anger, conflict, prioritization, self-confidence) with two-to-four sub-concepts under each. The left side of a page introduces the mantra "Do only what you can do" or "Handshake your fear" or "To create success, focus on past success" and the right side of the page, in one long, page-spanning paragram, introduces a client who had an issue, and how the client overcame the obstacle by reminding himself or herself of the mantra.
On the plus side, Ryan occasionally includes references to books and to social science research (albeit, occasionally to research that has been debunked in part, like Amy Cuddy's power pose research). On the down side, there's very little practical advice to help someone actually use the mantra or concepts in the heat of the moment. A coach (as Ryan is) or a therapist should be providing much more of a framework for helping someone apply concepts than pages 9-13 provide.
This is not to say that the book is useless. For people who see success with naming/theming their years, having access to some of these concepts could be helpful. And those who carefully select one or two concepts and work hard to apply the mantras to their lives might be rewarded. However, for my purposes, this felt like weak-tea pop psychology. Had Ryan expanded the introductory material to about a third of the book and given more practical application (rather than mere narration) to the rest, perhaps without so many blank pages and artsy pages with only five or six words on them, I think she could have served a broader audience.
December 18, 2016
How do you give your life meaning? Sometimes, I sit back and wonder how my life would be if I actually had goals. What are goals? How do you recognize goals, or more importantly, the need to create them? Well, I chanced upon a book entitle Habit Changers. With its foundation built upon an old Buddhist tradition, this book provides simple sentences serving to reprogram your mind. This is the perfect book for those “seeking an easier way to make positive life changes”, or in my case, set some goals.
Tibetan Buddhists have practiced Lojong, also called slogan practice. This mind training embraces as set of 59 one-line aphorisms recited by the practitioner as cures for undesired mental habits. We all have mental, or even physical, habits we desire to vanquish, like an enemy on the battlefield. This powerful, yet simple, process begins with recitation of the aphorism, emblazoning your mind. Soon, it becomes ingrained and the undesired mental habit is disengaged, no longer releasing errant bullets of negativity killing your dreams and maiming your goals.
Ryan shares research findings in the multifaceted field of neuroscience and skillfully instructs you how to use simple sentences to revolutionized, or create, habits and goals. Suffice it to say, these sentences engage, in a scientifically proven manner, the conscious mind and serve as an ever-present reminder of what it is you wish to accomplish. Psychologists have proven this to be true. Conscious awareness is crucial to accomplishing the desired behavioral change.
Readers familiar with the law of attraction may embrace slogan practice. However, Ryan adamantly states the one-liners she shares are not to be placed in the same category as affirmations, which declare that the desire habit is already in possession. The aphorisms Ryan suggests are more than declarations of possession; they are mini instructions for the very change you want to see.
With 81 laser focused phrases, Ryan shows how you can meditate on each statement and birth the habits, behavioral changes, or thought patterns you desire.
Reviewed for the Blogging for Books. Book provided by the author or the publisher for review purposes.
Tibetan Buddhists have practiced Lojong, also called slogan practice. This mind training embraces as set of 59 one-line aphorisms recited by the practitioner as cures for undesired mental habits. We all have mental, or even physical, habits we desire to vanquish, like an enemy on the battlefield. This powerful, yet simple, process begins with recitation of the aphorism, emblazoning your mind. Soon, it becomes ingrained and the undesired mental habit is disengaged, no longer releasing errant bullets of negativity killing your dreams and maiming your goals.
Ryan shares research findings in the multifaceted field of neuroscience and skillfully instructs you how to use simple sentences to revolutionized, or create, habits and goals. Suffice it to say, these sentences engage, in a scientifically proven manner, the conscious mind and serve as an ever-present reminder of what it is you wish to accomplish. Psychologists have proven this to be true. Conscious awareness is crucial to accomplishing the desired behavioral change.
Readers familiar with the law of attraction may embrace slogan practice. However, Ryan adamantly states the one-liners she shares are not to be placed in the same category as affirmations, which declare that the desire habit is already in possession. The aphorisms Ryan suggests are more than declarations of possession; they are mini instructions for the very change you want to see.
With 81 laser focused phrases, Ryan shows how you can meditate on each statement and birth the habits, behavioral changes, or thought patterns you desire.
Reviewed for the Blogging for Books. Book provided by the author or the publisher for review purposes.
March 1, 2019
I was hoping for this book to go on even longer! But I was also very satisfied with what was there--initially I hadn't expected the more corporate bent but the corporate aspect doesn't take away from the usefulness of these "slogans," rather than affirmations. Affirmations frustrate my anxiety and don't always work, so I picked up this book looking for something new and unsure of what I would get.
The slogans/mantras/little sentence-long how-to's, are very grounding and don't create the anxiety of "how can I just say 'I'm calm and ok' when I just don't feel that way WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME???" These are realistic, widely applicable, and anchoring. It didn't blow my socks off but honestly I don't think having my socks utterly blown away would've been very calming anyway. I just wanted something straightforward that could do the job. This did it, and there's a lot to be said for that.
Read If: You have anxiety and the new-agey affirmations feel bogus, unhelpful, and maybe even increase said anxiety. These are much more practical and don't disagree with reality, which personally make me much more calm.
Don't Read If: You're VERY anti-corporate on principle—alot of the anecdotes likely won't connect.
The slogans/mantras/little sentence-long how-to's, are very grounding and don't create the anxiety of "how can I just say 'I'm calm and ok' when I just don't feel that way WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME???" These are realistic, widely applicable, and anchoring. It didn't blow my socks off but honestly I don't think having my socks utterly blown away would've been very calming anyway. I just wanted something straightforward that could do the job. This did it, and there's a lot to be said for that.
Read If: You have anxiety and the new-agey affirmations feel bogus, unhelpful, and maybe even increase said anxiety. These are much more practical and don't disagree with reality, which personally make me much more calm.
Don't Read If: You're VERY anti-corporate on principle—alot of the anecdotes likely won't connect.
July 5, 2020
'Habit Changers' by M.J. Ryan is an ebook that attempts to change your habits by giving you a short prompt to remember.
This book is meant to be used more as a reference than as a book you would read straight through. The 29 topics covered are arranged alphabetically and cover topics like Acceptance, Blame, and Self-Care among others. Each of the topics has a few of the simple mantras. Things like "People do what people always do" are followed by an explanation of who should use this and why.
I liked this simple approach to breaking habits. Change can be done with the right reminders. These would be easy enough to memorize or write down and use when needed.
I received a review copy of this ebook from Crown Publishing and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for allowing me to review this ebook.
This book is meant to be used more as a reference than as a book you would read straight through. The 29 topics covered are arranged alphabetically and cover topics like Acceptance, Blame, and Self-Care among others. Each of the topics has a few of the simple mantras. Things like "People do what people always do" are followed by an explanation of who should use this and why.
I liked this simple approach to breaking habits. Change can be done with the right reminders. These would be easy enough to memorize or write down and use when needed.
I received a review copy of this ebook from Crown Publishing and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for allowing me to review this ebook.
July 3, 2017
This book should have been written as an article rather than as a book. I like the idea of repeating a short phrase or statement over and over until it becomes habit, but Habit Changers is written for a corporate audience, not for the lay people who just want to be better at whatever. If you need help becoming a better manager at work, you might be interested in this book. You can read the whole thing in about 30 minutes and then choose your repetition phrase to work on over the coming months. If you aren't a manager of employees, the intro is worth reading and then you'll have to make up your own repetition mantra to fit your needs. Reading this book was disappointingly not a good use of my time. Oh well.
April 6, 2018
This was a really nice little book to read devotional style, a few mantras every night. It has a lot of good (if basic) advice, and I think this is really well suited to those who are feeling over-scheduled and too burdened with their work. I love the idea of mantras and I think they are a totally effective way to help change your mindset and redirect willpower to create better habits. I also liked that this had such an emphasis on proactive and achievable self-care; no crazy expectations in this book. I gave it 3 stars just because it didn't blow my mind - didn't find anything revolutionary in it - but it was a very pleasantly meditative, actionable book and a great book to flip through before bed every night.
February 17, 2020
I didn't really get anything out of this. I didn't really see these as mantras. They were just sentences that failed (for me) to spark thought or action. I feel like mantras should be something repeatable or catchy, but these weren't. I didn't really get anything new out of this. I've said "If everything is priority, then nothing is" to my bosses in the past, so I don't really think these are original or particularly new. I also don't think the little explanation under each mantra was enough to really push someone into a new way of seeing things or thinking about things.
It definitely is more for business professionals than, say, someone just looking for something more personal.
A little disappointed in this one.
It definitely is more for business professionals than, say, someone just looking for something more personal.
A little disappointed in this one.
February 16, 2020
As others have said in reviews, this book seems geared toward people in business jobs. I'm fine with that, but the book isn't written in an engaging manner.
I found the "mantras" as she calls the pithy phrases to be okay, but not great or memorable. Each habit, such as Acceptance, Anger or Authenticity, to name the first three, has two to five one-page explanations. I found it annoying that she covered the "habits" alphabetically instead of grouping them by theme.
I've got Dr. B.J. Fogg's "Tiny Habits" to read next, https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4.... I have a feeling it's going to be a better read and more helpful.
I found the "mantras" as she calls the pithy phrases to be okay, but not great or memorable. Each habit, such as Acceptance, Anger or Authenticity, to name the first three, has two to five one-page explanations. I found it annoying that she covered the "habits" alphabetically instead of grouping them by theme.
I've got Dr. B.J. Fogg's "Tiny Habits" to read next, https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4.... I have a feeling it's going to be a better read and more helpful.
September 24, 2019
This is an interesting list of mental changes and attitude adjustments that anyone can implement to change their mindset and stop letting negative thoughts dictate their thoughts. It is centered around business professionals but could be used for everyone. Some of the suggestions are helpful while others feel common and over used. Each "game-changer" has an example incorporated into the description from one of her clients who applied this action to their own life. Although I did get a little sick of the phrase "one client who". Other all it is an easy read with some good advice.
December 25, 2022
It is basically a short book with one liners related to different situations in life / emotions that can be used as a tool to put your mind into the right path when needed. I’d recommend to look through it if you believe in such methods of mind working. I know I do and have been using some one liners since childhood to calm myself down or just get into the right mood for the action. Took some suggestions from this book as well for the future use.
April 22, 2019
I found a couple a of golden mantras that helped me realize stuff and I will definitely try the aproqch of repeating them. Which is why it deserves the four stars. Other than that, I understand each example serves to explain the mantra itself and drive the meaning home... but I still think there was way too much fluff for a book of this length.
January 17, 2018
Quick and easy read. Simple but effective sayings organized in a way to find the sections of particular interest to you. Suggest reading them all. Some jump out at you when you don’t particularly expect it.
September 11, 2017
Really generic/broad
December 2, 2017
Quick read (ideal for business travel) with 81 common-sense reminders organized alphabetically with easy-to-remember slogans and actionable examples for business professionals.
October 24, 2018
Delivers on its promise - a great read for those who want to incorporate more mindfulness in their lives.
February 22, 2019
Different approach: rather than affirmations you will never believe no matter how hard you try to force them down, use a reminder phrase to pull you back on your path.
March 30, 2021
Mostly mantras with mild explanations. Not exactly an interesting read but it felt like a good introduction.
July 13, 2023
Nice quick read. Packed with principles (or "mantras" as the author refers to them).
March 19, 2024
I see where she's going with this but I'm not really feeling it for me. Some good mantras though. But not enough that it was life changing.
June 21, 2024
Some good concise things to keep in mind for personal growth
February 6, 2017
Really great for making you think...let's wait to give it 5 stars to see if I can actually change my bad habits :)
December 14, 2016
As stated on the inside cover, Habit Changers was inspired by the Buddhist tradition of Lojong. This is the principle of reciting one-line phrases that are designed to reprogram the brain’s automatic responses to certain stimuli. The author includes 81 phrases (or Habit Changers) with corresponding text for further explanation. Drawing from personal experience, as well as writing a variety of scenarios, Ms. Ryan helps us to understand how we can use these phrases/Habit Changers in our own lives.
We are all creatures of habit and it can be quite difficult to break those habits – even when they’re clearly not working for us. This book gives readers some excellent examples of how we can change the way we see and do things in order to improve our everyday lives.
I especially liked the “Don’t go in your mind where your body is not” chapter. I tend to worry about the “what ifs” to the point where I forget to enjoy the here and now. This Habit Changer really hit home for me. Clearly, it won’t change my thinking overnight, but it’s a definite start.
In conclusion, I’d have to say this is a wonderfully positive book with a great deal of sound advice. We can all use a little more positivity in our lives (I know I could) and this book can certainly help with that. Thanks to Blogging for Books for providing me with a complimentary copy of this book!
5 of 5 Stars, Review by Susan Barton, http://ebookreviewgal.blogspot.com
September 30, 2016
This is a very interesting book. It starts with a listing of areas that you may need help with. Examples are : anger, patience, fear, etc. Key one-line phrases are then introduced. These can then become mantras you use to help you through different situations. Then through a series of vignettes or parables examples are given to show the effectiveness of these phrases. This is to help you with behavioral changes to impact and better your life, performance at your job, or attaining goals.
The book is set up for east quick reading, especially if you feel you only need help in a specific area. Definitely thought provoking.
I received this arc free through Netgalley for an honest review.
The book is set up for east quick reading, especially if you feel you only need help in a specific area. Definitely thought provoking.
I received this arc free through Netgalley for an honest review.
December 28, 2017
A quick skim, once I put my mind to it. It is a good idea to read the first few sections to get the author's MO on using mantras for self improvement. The back portion of the book is skimmable or flippable. What I found helpful is to go through page by page and see if something resonnated with me, rather than looking at a "concern" like communication or self-confidence. The list that really spoke to me are:
1. My response is my responsibility.
2. Accept the offer and move it forward.
3. Ask, don't tell.
4. If you don't ask, you don't get.
and my favorite because of the explanation: 5. Aspire without attachment.
I will leave it to you, the reader, to find out the secrets of these 5 thoughts.
1. My response is my responsibility.
2. Accept the offer and move it forward.
3. Ask, don't tell.
4. If you don't ask, you don't get.
and my favorite because of the explanation: 5. Aspire without attachment.
I will leave it to you, the reader, to find out the secrets of these 5 thoughts.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews