Aliens: Cauldron

Aliens (Dark Horse Books)

by Diane Carey

In the cargo of the spaceship Virginia, a hive of hibernating aliens awakes. Meanwhile, on the Umiak, and elite troupe of cadets is forced into servitude by an unscrupulous captain taking the ship to a smuggler's rendezvous. When the cadets unsuspectingly transport the aliens aboard, they battle for their lives, fighting the smugglers, the captain, and the monsters among them.

The Aliens: an opponent that sleeps, breathes, and breeds with just one goal - to kill. The war is about to begin...

Genres: Aliens, Science Fiction, Horror, Fiction, Novels

288 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published June 26, 2007

About the author

Diane Carey also wrote the Distress Call 911 young adult series under the name D.L. Carey.

Diane Carey is primarily a science fiction author best known for her work in the Star Trek franchise. She has been the lead-off writer for two Star Trek spin-off book series: Star Trek The Next Generation with Star Trek: Ghost Ship, and the novelization of the Star Trek: Enterprise pilot, Broken Bow.

For more information, please see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diane_Carey

Reviews

[Ana Mardoll · Rating 1 out of 5]

Aliens Novels: Book 12, Cauldron / 978-1-59582-113-3

I usually leave my summary recommendation until the end of my reviews, but this time I'll save time by placing it at the top: This is one of the worst books I've ever read, and it is my exceedingly strong recommendation that you not waste any of your money, or indeed any of your time on this horrendously bad novel.

After the pile of cliche and melodrama that was Carey's previous addition to the aliens series ("DNA War"), I didn't expect high art from "Cauldron", but this book greatly surpassed all my expectations that it would be awful. Although I had expected a heaping pile of cliche, melodrama, and anachronism (Carey habitually fails to comprehend that science fiction writing should have a different tone than a dime store detective novel), covered by a layer of boring "tell-don't-show" exposition and massive editing issues, it seems that I was being uncreative in my predictions and should also have anticipated that Carey would use this latest medium as a breathtakingly narcissistic diversion into her personal hobbies and interests.

"Cauldron" is largely composed of what Carey *wanted* to write about, as opposed to what she was *paid* to write about, which practically speaking boils down thus: this is a book about historic ships, and NOT a book about aliens. That someone signed off on this complete slap in the face of the aliens' readership is another crime entirely, but I have never seen such shoddy writing and complete disregard for the given subject material as Carey shows here. The "About the Author" note states that she's an enthusiast of historic ships, which you'll have already guessed long before you make it to the end note, because hardly a page goes by where she doesn't go off on a completely random tangent in order to spout factoids about ancient ships.

Allow me to elucidate: The main spaceship on which we open - and keep in mind this is supposed to be the distant future, long after humans have colonized other planets and the nuclear war has ravaged earth and most of the history books, for that matter - the main spaceship boasts a gigantic mural on its side of (and I can't believe I'm writing this) the Monitor and the Merrimac locked in battle. You know, the iron-clad ships that fought each other in the American civil war? *That* Monitor and Merrimac? If you don't remember much about the Monitor and Merrimac from school, don't despair - Carey spends several pages devoted to the history of those ships and, indeed, all American civil war era ships in general. Hey, you know those new state-of-the-art Joint Strike Fighter airplanes that American is currently developing? You know how those are being fitted out with murals of Hannibal's mighty Carthaginian war elephants? Of course not! Because that would be indescribably stupid! Oh, yeah, and the space ships of the future have 'stevedores' and 'bosuns' and probably those stupid high-pitched whistles, just because Carey enjoys using those words and describing the historical context behind them... over and over and OVER again...

A lot of "Cauldron" is written like Carey is vaguely aware that science fiction genre exists, and may have even seen a sci-fi movie once or twice in her life (NOT an aliens movie, though, obviously), but the overall concept is still completely foreign. I'm just going to make a blanket statement for all hack sci-fi writers, free of charge: In the distant space-faring future, there should NOT be references to a current "America", "Romania", or "Australia" (*especially* not in the aliens-verse, where Australia-the-continent was completely nuked, and Australia-the-government didn't survive the process). There should NOT be a Dutch-American immigrant on board with English so broken that she says things like "Dat's all dere is toot" (a direct quote, I swear, and roughly translating to "That's all there is to it," in case the context isn't clear). And while I'm the biggest Monty Python fan you can hope to find, you should NOT blatantly shoe-horn in Monty Python jokes into your sci-fi book ("What is the capital of Assyria? The correct answer is 'I don't know that', followed by a scream." I swear this is another direct quote from this novel.), and you *especially* shouldn't shoe-horn in the same joke TWICE, just in case the reader didn't notice your immense cleverness the first time around. And if you have a hobby like, oh, historic ships, or quilting, or chainsaw juggling, it shouldn't take up so much of the book that it completely obscures the main plot and indeed the actual REAL items of interest (i.e. the aliens) aren't even seen until well into the second half of the book.

The "About the Author" note also indicates that when Carey isn't mangling the aliens series, she churns out Star Trek novels by the dozens apparently and while this further confirms my theory that the sci-fi franchises I love must all be in the hands of gibbering lunatics and middle management, I will admit that I can kind-of-sort-of see some of this working for a Star Trek novel. Star Trek is a backwards-gazing science fiction universe, partly because it's a series that deals with the evolution of the human spirit over history, but mostly because TV sets are expensive and every set piece from the 'ancient' 20th century means that the week's episode made it in on-time and under-budget. A movie like "Aliens", however, is a *completely* different world and thematic style, and assuming that a successful Star Trek sci-fi writer will automatically be a good Aliens sci-fi writer is like saying that a Dragonball Z writer could churn out the plot of "Nausicaa" in a given afternoon - being in the same overall genre doesn't mean that the two have ANYTHING in common.

To bring this tirade to an end and sum it all up in a pithy one-line: Authors should not muck up established book franchises in order to indulge their personal and irrelevant hobbies.

~ Ana Mardoll

[Thomas · Rating 1 out of 5]

BUH.

I thought DNA Wars was terrible. I didn't know what was in store for me with Cauldron.

If I'm going to give Carey any credit here, it will be for not following the usual tropes of an Aliens book (mad scientist, capture-as-weapon, rescue mission), but even then, she only succeeds because what she really wanted to write was a book about old ships, and she crammed all of it in to a book set in outer space.

The same issues I saw with DNA Wars -- inconsistent characters, hokey dialogue, a narrative that's off, more telling than showing -- are present here, but it's made worse by Carey phonetically writing out the accent of an Australian character. She also includes a couple of Irish teenagers straight off the farm, who talk like they're in their seventies, but for whatever reason, she doesn't phonetically write out their Irish brogue. It's mystifying, but no more mystifying than realizing that part of the cargo on this ship is a CORAL REEF IN A CLEAR SHIPPING CONTAINER, COMPLETE WITH MARINE LIFE, TO BE SENT TO THE BACK END OF THE UNIVERSE FOR SOMEONE WITH SO MUCH MONEY THAT THIS WOULD EVER POSSIBLY MAKE SENSE FOR SPACE TRAVEL. It's mystifying, but no more so than also having sabre-toothed tigers and mammoths on this same ship.

For the love of gods, don't read this book. Spare yourself.

[Quentin Wallace · Rating 4 out of 5]

I see a lot of readers didn't care for this one, but I enjoyed it. It's got a familiar concept, which is Aliens loose on a spaceship. But at least in this case, there's some twists thrown in as well. It was a little more upbeat than most Aliens stories, although upbeat may be stretching things. It had more of a happy ending than you'd expect from this type of novel, but I found it refreshing.

We get to see some cool things, such as an Alien vs. a sabre toothed tiger. (Yes, on a spaceship.)

Overall I liked this one, but I like almost all of the Aliens and Predator novels.

[Megan · Rating 1 out of 5]

God awful... I can't believe I finished it, I made myself soldier through and there was literally no point...

***SPOLERS***
What the hell.... kids and adolescent crap... the book could have been a hundred pages shorter if the author wasn't so damn hung up on how cool the cargo ship mechanics works....! It literally ended with a pool party in a giant shipping container that contained a coral reef....

THE WORST.

[Will Wilson · Rating 1 out of 5]

A group of teenagers at space camp and their animal friends easily dispatch the universe’s most deadly creature ....... absolute trash. This book is now in the lead for the worst “ Alien” tie in novel I have read . The author is extraordinary inconsistent with story telling, characterization , and even the source material . Skip it

[clumsyplankton · Rating 1 out of 5]

Honestly just terrible.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

Despite its myriad flaws, ALIENS: CAULDRON is a far more satisfying read than your typical ALIENS/PREDATOR tie-in novel. Of course, that really is not saying much.
In CAULDRON, Carey does a good job mixing in familiar aspects of the ALIENS universe with other stuff we haven't seen before. As usual, Aliens take over a cargo ship and force the crew to battle for their lives. Unexpectedly, though, the crew is composed of mostly teenagers, and the ship's cargo includes some vicious wild animals.
This is probably the only story in which you'll ever see an Alien go head-to-head with a sabertooth tiger, a wooly mammoth, and an elephant.
Not to mention a camel.
The storyline of CAULDRON feels highly contrived, but at least it's clever. Carey also does her best to make the violence feel fresh and exciting, but it's often so over-the-top as to turn into unintentional comedy. The writing is incredibly uneven: the technical bits dealing with "spacefaring" and the day-to-day operations of the ship are expertly done, but much of the dialog and interaction between characters feels like it was written by a high-schooler. I mean, just look at the book's subtitle: "Adrift in space, terror is born again!" (Can someone please tell me how terror can be adrift in space...and how it came to know Jesus?) Seriously, did the word "reborn" never occur to anyone?
At times, the author's diction made me want to scream. For example, instead of writing "She glowered at him," Carey otps for "She screwed him a glower." Huh? The book is absolutely riddled with little moments like that.
Then there's the fact that the spaceships in this book operate in much the same way as naval ships from the distant past. This might work in STAR TREK (Carey's usual storytelling sandbox), but it doesn't jibe with what else we've seen of the ALIENS universe. Plus, Carey goes way overboard in demonstrating her knowledge of sailing jargon. The first few pages of the novel are so weighed down by complicated terminology that I had virtually no idea what was happening. I suspect Carey may have imported certain scenes from some other sailing yarn she'd written. Certainly, it all comes across as rather self-indulgent.
Still, though, CAULDRON is a huge improvement over her previous ALIENS effort, DNA WAR. And it stands head-and-shoulders above most of the other novels written for the ALIENS universe.

[BIGnick BIGnick · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book suffers from all the same problems of its predecessor so if you want a more detailed inventory of this book’s sins check out the review I did for “Aliens: DNA War”; needless to say this will be the last book I read of Diane Carey’s.
The reason I didn’t rate it lower is, despite its numerous and avoidable flaws, I know how much time goes into a publication and for what it’s worth the ending was pretty creative. Much like “DNA War”, “Cauldron” has a decent beginning and ending but the middle is a no-man’s land of aimless subplots, misspellings, poor dialogue, and illogical characters that make the missed opportunities of this book all the more frustrating.

Side note: just because one points out a plot hole in ones own story that does not then make up for the sin of said plot hole.

[Jefferson · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Aliens are a barely seen backdrop, which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but this is a somewhat preposterous story populated by clichéd characters that veer between one-dimensional and patently unrealistic.

[Alex Simpson · Rating 1 out of 5]

As a huge Alien fan, this book does for the franchise, what the AVP spinoffs did. That unfortunately, is not a good thing.

[Chris The Lizard from Planet X · Rating 4 out of 5]

Diane Carey's "Aliens: Cauldron" offers a gripping blend of science fiction and horror that will thrill fans of the iconic *Aliens* franchise. Set in the vast, cold expanse of space, the novel thrusts readers into a high-stakes environment where survival is a constant struggle.

The story revolves around the cargo ship Virginia, where a hive of hibernating Xenomorphs stirs from its slumber. Meanwhile, the Umiak, an elite ship commandeered by a duplicitous captain, is en route to a rendezvous with the Virginia, unaware of the imminent threat aboard. As fate would have it, a group of cadets on the Umiak unwittingly transport the deadly aliens, setting off a chain reaction of chaos and horror.

Carey excels in creating a tense atmosphere as the cadets, the smugglers, and the captain face off against the relentless Xenomorphs. The narrative skillfully balances the claustrophobic dread of the alien threat with the internal conflicts and moral dilemmas of the characters. The depiction of the Xenomorphs is as horrifying and relentless as ever, and Carey’s portrayal of the human antagonists adds layers of complexity to the conflict.

The pacing of "Cauldron" is relentless, with suspense building steadily as the situation aboard the Umiak spirals out of control. The tension is heightened by Carey's vivid descriptions and the high stakes of the characters' battle for survival. The novel stands out not only for its action and horror but also for its exploration of themes like betrayal, leadership, and the cost of greed.

Overall, "Aliens: Cauldron" is a compelling addition to the *Aliens* universe, blending intense action, well-drawn characters, and the ever-present terror of the Xenomorphs. It’s a must-read for fans of the franchise and anyone who enjoys a high-octane sci-fi thriller.

[Danny Dahms · Rating 1 out of 5]

Have you ever wanted to read a terrible version of Lord of the Flies set in the Aliens universe? Boy do I have a book for you.

All this book is going to do is piss you off. By page 100, this became a hate read. I made myself read 200 more pages so that a 17 year old kid would hopefully get ripped apart by a xenomorph because that’s how bad of a person he is. Unfortunately, that didn’t even happen.

Instead, the kids who survive this book all sing a happy kumbaya and drink pina coladas after their friends were just 1) ripped apart by an alien and 2) cut in half by a machine gun. That’s not even an exaggeration.

Let’s talk about the captain. What’s this guys problem? He throws a 14 year old girl to a xeno and unloads a machine gun into a teenager just because he doesn’t like them? And we never really get any reasoning for why he doesn’t like them, he just doesn’t.

Next, the pacing. This book was all over the place for the first 10 chapters. We bounced back and forth between the cadets on a non-infested ship talking about nothing, and another infested ship of people fighting for their lives (who, by the way, we already know won’t survive their ordeal, so why do we need 10 chapters of following them for nothing anyway?)

Then we come to more glaring lore problems with this same author, Diane Carey, who I can confidently say is the worst author in this series. The whole crux of this story is that the kids survive the infestation because one of them is on the spectrum. The same premise that made 2018 The Predator terrible, is exactly what drives the plot here and ultimately becomes the saving grace at the end of the day.

This book deserves the title of the worst in the Omnibus series so far. The only credit I’ll give it is that there’s more action than Music of the Spears.

[Lady Earth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hát nem is tudom, mit mondjak erről a regényről. Én nagyon szeretem az Alien-univerzumot, de ez a sztori összezavart. Olyan mintha két könyvből állna, két szerzőtől (ki tudja, lehet, hogy így van?). Ugyanis az első rész amely az első szállítóhajón játszódik, az tipikus felnőtt horror, naturalistán véres, csonkolós, mindenki meghalós- sztori. Aztán jön a második szállítóhajó, amelyen átmegyünk tini horrorba, magyarán egy csapat "szörnyen okos" tinédzser legyőzi a xenomorfok olyan falkáját, amellyel rátermett felnőttek sem bírtak, anélkül, hogy különösebb veszteségeket szenvednének (akiket elragadnak, azoknak sem lesz semmi bajuk, stb.). WTF?! Milyen szerkesztő szerint volt ez logikusan kapcsolódó sztori?
Arról meg ne is beszéljünk, hogy a második szállítóhajón közben fellázad ugye a legénység és átszállnak arra a szállítóhajóra, hogy hazamenjenek, amelyről elszabadultak az alienek, és ahol már mindenkit elvileg totál kinyírtak! De ez senkinek nem tűnik fel, sőt, ezekről az emberekről soha többet nem hallunk a regényben (és nem azért mert eltüntetik az alienek őket), hanem mert jó szokás szerint a szerző elfelejtkezett róluk!
Ez utóbbi bakit most már egyre több könyvben látom, most komolyan ez senkinek nem tűnik fel, ha némely szereplők simán kisétálnak egy könyv sztorijából?!

[Brendan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will admit, I was skeptical at first as to how this addition to the franchise would be. Namely because the main group of humans are a bunch of teenagers. I thought it wouldn’t enjoy this addition too much but it is probably one of my more favorite additions. The descriptions of the gruesomeness and gore and the vivid imagery of some of the deaths honestly gave me chills a couple of times and I love it. The ending seemed a little rushed though. Suspense was at a peak moment and then it just kind of stopped. But other than that it was a fantastic book.

[Arlomisty · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a pretty good Alien yarn... I always liked Diane Carey's Star Trek book and she didn't do to bad with this one either. Pretty clean as far a swearing, etc... I love when all the cryo-sleeping animals get loose on the ship and confuse the Aliens... they can't tell the difference between the animals and the cadets when they are trying to hunt "sense" them.... cool idea.

[Eric Hersh · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought it was a good book. There was a lot of action to it. Most of the main characters were likeable, except of course for the bad guys. The one downside is though it had mystery in it most of it was easy to guess with a few twists I did not see coming. It did not dwell much on explaining the technology of the time.

[Bonnie Jennings · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the alien series, but I would have counted this one in YA. Not exactly my cup of tea but I enjoyed it.

[Exanimis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alien Cauldron has the feel of being on the high seas in a sailing ship.

Alien franchise #21
second novel series #3

[Dylan Louderbaugh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of build up but a quick ending. Not bad for an Aliens franchise novel.

[Sierra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this story; the characters are awesome, the story great, and it add more idea of how the alien work.
I like that the aliens aren't super genius, overpowered, hunting machines. Their more like actual animals in a lot of ways, just far more aggressive and instinctual.
Great book, one of my favorites.

[Kevin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Completely lost me once we inexplicably jumped past the xenomorph outbreak on one ship to focus on the student training program on the other ship. The dialogue is horrendous and goes on forever.

[Tommy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this one in spite of the Hollywood ending. I suppose even in a universe with xenomorphs the occasional fairytale ending ought to be allowed.

[Mya · Rating 2 out of 5]

The more I think that there is some sort of seperation between extreme horror and young adult literature, the more I am proven wrong. I mean I probably wouldn't have gone for the book had I known that a gaggle of children--yes kids--were going up against a pack of killer aliens, I might have thought twice about reading this book. It's not that I don't think the brightest child prodigies to ever live wouldn't be able to stave off horrifying death and mayhem. I'm sure that maybe one might live...maybe...

What started off as a promising space opera about the illegal transportation of the aliens species (disguised as cargo) on a star ship somehow denigrates to the pluckiness of brilliant space cadets in training. It was OK...not great, but it did raise two serious questions...What do the Aliens eat? How do they grow so fast after chest-burster stage? Maybe the next Aliens book I read will have more details and less of the Disney Channel.

Seriously, I would not want my teen reading this and I don't even have one.

[Michael Brookes · Rating 2 out of 5]

It takes a while to get going, but once it does the story is interesting, although not quite the horror or action I'd expect for an Aliens novel. Still it's not a bad read and there are a few interesting thoughts about the Aliens.

[Arnaud · Rating 4 out of 5]

Back into space where no one will hear you scream.
Interresting but read better Aliens novel.

[Tori · Rating 4 out of 5]

Never thought I would see the day when an Alien and a Saber tooth tiger would face off!!!