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More Beautiful Than Before: How Suffering Transforms Us
Every one of us sooner or later walks through hell. The hell of being hurt, the hell of hurting another. The hell of cancer, the hell of a reluctant, thunking shovel full of earth upon the casket of someone we deeply loved, the hell of betrayal, the hell of betraying, the hell of divorce, the hell of a kid in trouble . . . the hell of knowing that this year, like any year, may be our last.
We all walk through hell. The point is not to come out empty-handed. . . . There is real and profound power in the suffering we endure if we transform that suffering into a more authentic, meaningful life.
In the spirit of such classics as When Bad Things Happen to Good People, A Grief Observed, and When Things Fall Apart, More Beautiful Than Before : How Suffering Transforms Us examines the many ways we can transform physical, psychological, or emotional pain into a more beautiful and meaningful life.
As the leader of Wilshire Boulevard Temple, one of America’s largest and most important congregations, located in the heart of Los Angeles, Rabbi Leder has witnessed a lot of "It’s my phone that rings when people’s bodies or lives fall apart," he writes. "The couch in my office is often drenched with tears." After 27 years of listening, comforting, and holding so many who suffered, he thought he understood pain and its challenges—but when it struck hard in his own life and brought him to his knees, a new understanding unfolded before him as he felt pain’s profound effects on his body, spirit, and soul.
In this elegantly concise, beautifully written, and deeply inspiring book, Rabbi Leder guides us through pain’s stages of surviving, healing, and growing to help us all find meaning in our suffering. Drawing on his experience as a spiritual leader, the wisdom of ancient traditions, modern science, and stories from his own life and others’, he shows us that when we must endure, we can, and that there is a path for each of us that leads from pain to wisdom. "Pain cracks us open," he writes. "It breaks us. But in the breaking, there is a new kind of wholeness."
This powerful book will inspire in us all a life worthy of our suffering; a life gentler, wiser, and more beautiful than before.
We all walk through hell. The point is not to come out empty-handed. . . . There is real and profound power in the suffering we endure if we transform that suffering into a more authentic, meaningful life.
In the spirit of such classics as When Bad Things Happen to Good People, A Grief Observed, and When Things Fall Apart, More Beautiful Than Before : How Suffering Transforms Us examines the many ways we can transform physical, psychological, or emotional pain into a more beautiful and meaningful life.
As the leader of Wilshire Boulevard Temple, one of America’s largest and most important congregations, located in the heart of Los Angeles, Rabbi Leder has witnessed a lot of "It’s my phone that rings when people’s bodies or lives fall apart," he writes. "The couch in my office is often drenched with tears." After 27 years of listening, comforting, and holding so many who suffered, he thought he understood pain and its challenges—but when it struck hard in his own life and brought him to his knees, a new understanding unfolded before him as he felt pain’s profound effects on his body, spirit, and soul.
In this elegantly concise, beautifully written, and deeply inspiring book, Rabbi Leder guides us through pain’s stages of surviving, healing, and growing to help us all find meaning in our suffering. Drawing on his experience as a spiritual leader, the wisdom of ancient traditions, modern science, and stories from his own life and others’, he shows us that when we must endure, we can, and that there is a path for each of us that leads from pain to wisdom. "Pain cracks us open," he writes. "It breaks us. But in the breaking, there is a new kind of wholeness."
This powerful book will inspire in us all a life worthy of our suffering; a life gentler, wiser, and more beautiful than before.
224 pages, Hardcover
Published November 7, 2017
441 people are currently reading
2120 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 126 reviews
December 18, 2017
The title caught me off guard so I wanted to read it.
Written by a Rabbi the book is a perspective into how pain, grief and suffering change us.
I came away from the book thinking that the quiet moments at the hospital where I hold hands and dry tears are quite powerful and priceless.
Written by a Rabbi the book is a perspective into how pain, grief and suffering change us.
I came away from the book thinking that the quiet moments at the hospital where I hold hands and dry tears are quite powerful and priceless.
June 28, 2023
Random little book I picked up because, in the words of REM: everybody hurts sometimes.
Theologically, not all of it was for me, but Steve Leder shares valuable nuggets of truth. Jotting these down here for safekeeping.
To love and care for someone who is whole is one thing. To love and care for a person when he or she is broken, weak, and afraid is quite another. That is the deepest kind of love; a love discovered only through vulnerability and pain.
Do you want to stay married? Be kind. Do you want to hold on to your kids even when they are adults themselves? Be kind. Do you want to be close to your brothers and sisters? Do you want to have friends? ..
Do you want to be proud of who you are - who you really are? Be kind.
I met with a class of second graders one morning and told them that although they were only in second grade and far from taking the SAT, they already knew the hardest vocabulary words in the English language: I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Apology accepted.
When I officiate wedding ceremonies, I say things that are unique to each couple, but there is also something I tell every single one of them. I tell them that almost everything comes and goes in a marriage. Jobs come and go; apartments, condos and houses come and go; money comes and goes; health comes and goes; the world changes; or bodies change; even our children, just as surely as they come into our lives, leave us in some fundamental way as they begin their own marriage and families. Almost everything comes and goes in a marriage. But if one thing remains, then their marriage will thrive and bring them the deepest kind of fulfillment and love. That one thing is friendship, and real friendship depends almost entirely on their capacity for forgiveness. Being able to say "I forgive you and I love you" is love's greatest challenge and greatest gift.
Forgiveness does not undo the past, but it does make a different future possible.
Four steps to seeking forgiveness:
First, stop. Stop whatever destructive action you are engaged in.
Second, feel true regret for your error. Feel guilty. Feel sadness that comes from being something other than your best self. Be sorry for the hurt and harm you caused. When visited by guilt, do not avoid the pain of that guilt. Face it. Feel it.
Next, confess your wrong and seek forgiveness out loud. You must go to the person you hurt and say the most difficult words for most of us to say out loud: "I was wrong." Because saying "I was wrong" changes everything.
Finally, make a plan. Figure out a way to make sure that the mistake won't happen again. Make a plan to not repeat it.
Can we be big enough, brave enough and honest enough to say "I was wrong"?
If you are quick to repair something at the first signs of damage, you prevent a lot of pain and loss. You avoid the point of no return.
Theologically, not all of it was for me, but Steve Leder shares valuable nuggets of truth. Jotting these down here for safekeeping.
To love and care for someone who is whole is one thing. To love and care for a person when he or she is broken, weak, and afraid is quite another. That is the deepest kind of love; a love discovered only through vulnerability and pain.
Do you want to stay married? Be kind. Do you want to hold on to your kids even when they are adults themselves? Be kind. Do you want to be close to your brothers and sisters? Do you want to have friends? ..
Do you want to be proud of who you are - who you really are? Be kind.
I met with a class of second graders one morning and told them that although they were only in second grade and far from taking the SAT, they already knew the hardest vocabulary words in the English language: I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Apology accepted.
When I officiate wedding ceremonies, I say things that are unique to each couple, but there is also something I tell every single one of them. I tell them that almost everything comes and goes in a marriage. Jobs come and go; apartments, condos and houses come and go; money comes and goes; health comes and goes; the world changes; or bodies change; even our children, just as surely as they come into our lives, leave us in some fundamental way as they begin their own marriage and families. Almost everything comes and goes in a marriage. But if one thing remains, then their marriage will thrive and bring them the deepest kind of fulfillment and love. That one thing is friendship, and real friendship depends almost entirely on their capacity for forgiveness. Being able to say "I forgive you and I love you" is love's greatest challenge and greatest gift.
Forgiveness does not undo the past, but it does make a different future possible.
Four steps to seeking forgiveness:
First, stop. Stop whatever destructive action you are engaged in.
Second, feel true regret for your error. Feel guilty. Feel sadness that comes from being something other than your best self. Be sorry for the hurt and harm you caused. When visited by guilt, do not avoid the pain of that guilt. Face it. Feel it.
Next, confess your wrong and seek forgiveness out loud. You must go to the person you hurt and say the most difficult words for most of us to say out loud: "I was wrong." Because saying "I was wrong" changes everything.
Finally, make a plan. Figure out a way to make sure that the mistake won't happen again. Make a plan to not repeat it.
Can we be big enough, brave enough and honest enough to say "I was wrong"?
If you are quick to repair something at the first signs of damage, you prevent a lot of pain and loss. You avoid the point of no return.
August 19, 2018
It’s hard to “rate” a book which consists largely of stories of emotional pain suffered by the author, by his congregants, and by others. By everyone, really, which is a main point — there is no life without suffering. What we make of our suffering is the second focus of this little book. But explaining a reason for pain is not offered, thankfully; rather How to survive it in the best way possible for others. Leder’s volume reminds me of Einstein’s answer to the question, why are we here? Roughly— “we are here for the sake of each other, for those upon whose smile and well-being our happiness depends.” We can use our own suffering to live lives more beneficial to others, to be a blessing to them.
I can’t say I “enjoyed” Rabbi Leder’s book, but I am glad to have read it, and recommend it for individual reading and pondering, and for group reading and discussion also.
I can’t say I “enjoyed” Rabbi Leder’s book, but I am glad to have read it, and recommend it for individual reading and pondering, and for group reading and discussion also.
March 12, 2023
Quick read; a few powerful takeaways. The Jewish/universalist bent threw me and ultimately made me incredibly grateful for the depth of theology we have as followers of Christ, who partner with Christ in suffering. There’s no hope like the blessed hope. Life without resurrection promise is just self-help.
May 9, 2019
One of the best books on healing that I have ever read!
June 30, 2019
Lots to think about in this meditation on grief, loss and suffering. One of the better takes on this subject I’ve read. The author has concrete advice on how to help others who are going through difficulties, and emphasizes the value of true community.
June 27, 2019
Maybe my trauma is such that I have been blinded to the "wisdom" of its infliction. If one more person tries to convince me that there is a positive message to be gained from years of abuse, I'm going start screaming. "When you must, you can"? Such drivel. I survived my childhood, because death doesn't come because you call out to it in the whole of your 5 year old heart. I survived because I didn't know how to end my own life! A glass dropped from 6 stories up, well never be the same glass. It will never be something unbroken. You cannot erase the fall. The shattering. There are pieces unrecoverable. Just another book of gentle victim blaming if one did not have the fortune of surviving and becoming "more beautiful". This book was not for me. "Do not let your suffering be in vain." One again, I'm apologizing, to a book, for not being strong enough. For having unfixable trauma. I am once again left with the awful taste in my mouth that anyone could believe and keep faith in a Higher Power with a plan. My trauma, any child's trauma, should never be an acceptable part of any plan. That's just shitty planning.
January 9, 2022
The author is the lead rabbi of the Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles. I know this for two reasons. The first reason is that my cousin attends that synagogue. The other reason is that the author seems to mention it like 10 times before he gets to chapter 2. This book could have benefited from a better editor. As it is, he needed to leave out the words "I," "my" and "me".
Over all, the author attempts to use his experience as a pulpit rabbi helping the members of a very large congregation to get through the tragedies of life and to pull some valuable and positive lesson from them. Good idea. He didn't quite make it happen.
FYI, that doesn't mean that their weren't a few gems in the narrative. He had some great lines here and there. Quite inspirational. It was just the over all presentation that turned me off.
I stopped reading about page 75. It wasn't going to get any better. I decided to stop.
I doubt I will return to this book.
Over all, the author attempts to use his experience as a pulpit rabbi helping the members of a very large congregation to get through the tragedies of life and to pull some valuable and positive lesson from them. Good idea. He didn't quite make it happen.
FYI, that doesn't mean that their weren't a few gems in the narrative. He had some great lines here and there. Quite inspirational. It was just the over all presentation that turned me off.
I stopped reading about page 75. It wasn't going to get any better. I decided to stop.
I doubt I will return to this book.
April 16, 2023
Wow. This book was very powerful and full of wisdom. I took notes but might need to purchase this to keep close at hand.
Sections I want to remember::
What was was, what is is, and that’s that.
Courage is not having the strength to go on; it is going on when you don’t have the strength.
When you must, you can.
The people who really matter, don’t mind. And the people who mind, don’t matter.
The prisoner cannot free himself. You are never strong enough you don’t need help.
Where there is no paradox, there is no life.
We don’t know who discovered water but it wasn’t the fish.
The sun rises no matter how dark the night.
Can we do more with tools of apology and forgiveness, humility and kindness?
We can strive to be better, not better off.
Pain is an invitation to fix what is broken in us and the world.
Sections I want to remember::
What was was, what is is, and that’s that.
Courage is not having the strength to go on; it is going on when you don’t have the strength.
When you must, you can.
The people who really matter, don’t mind. And the people who mind, don’t matter.
The prisoner cannot free himself. You are never strong enough you don’t need help.
Where there is no paradox, there is no life.
We don’t know who discovered water but it wasn’t the fish.
The sun rises no matter how dark the night.
Can we do more with tools of apology and forgiveness, humility and kindness?
We can strive to be better, not better off.
Pain is an invitation to fix what is broken in us and the world.
April 14, 2023
So good!
These reflections, on suffering are powerful. I recommend it to anyone because we all suffer, and they will be suffering and every life. It’s something we simply cannot avoid. Let these reflections help you find new ways to live with meaning in the midst of suffering.
These reflections, on suffering are powerful. I recommend it to anyone because we all suffer, and they will be suffering and every life. It’s something we simply cannot avoid. Let these reflections help you find new ways to live with meaning in the midst of suffering.
March 24, 2022
Beautiful book. Worth savoring again and again.
December 30, 2018
Some books enter our lives when we need them and sometimes before. This is one of those books.
I have read several books that help us get a perspective on life and its challenges and many have been very good. But there is something special about Steve Leder's written voice, his connection with the sufferings of life, his experiences holding others up, and his own context about suffering that makes this book deeply helpful.
There's no argument that suffering is its own teacher, but understanding its lessons and the process is often mysterious and disturbing. Many authors on these hard subjects lecture us on the need to focus on positive thoughts. Leder doesn't. He takes the elements of suffering and deconstructs what it does to us and then helps us find a way over the pain.
Leder is a rabbi and because he is informed by his rabinical studies, he includes many Old Testament references and refers to related scholars. But he also includes both Christian and Muslim teachings to connect his points to teachings of old. As a result this book is a balm for those of all faiths and even for those without one.
Leder's book is one for today and tomorrow. Suffering has a way of inserting itself into our lives for our lifetime, making this book a companion for us as the years go by. It will be a book I keep close.
I have read several books that help us get a perspective on life and its challenges and many have been very good. But there is something special about Steve Leder's written voice, his connection with the sufferings of life, his experiences holding others up, and his own context about suffering that makes this book deeply helpful.
There's no argument that suffering is its own teacher, but understanding its lessons and the process is often mysterious and disturbing. Many authors on these hard subjects lecture us on the need to focus on positive thoughts. Leder doesn't. He takes the elements of suffering and deconstructs what it does to us and then helps us find a way over the pain.
Leder is a rabbi and because he is informed by his rabinical studies, he includes many Old Testament references and refers to related scholars. But he also includes both Christian and Muslim teachings to connect his points to teachings of old. As a result this book is a balm for those of all faiths and even for those without one.
Leder's book is one for today and tomorrow. Suffering has a way of inserting itself into our lives for our lifetime, making this book a companion for us as the years go by. It will be a book I keep close.
May 5, 2018
Very easy simple read, yet with profound statements backed up with obvious empathy and years of being witness and holding space to other people's pain. Suffering is universal, and here is a book that can apply to anyone and everyone at some point or another in their lives when they are trying to make sense of that suffering. Victor Frankl said suffering ceases to be suffering when we find a meaning to it or something rather, and that's exactly what this book strives to do. Show us how our suffering is the way to something within us that cannot be broken, the ever-resilient human spirit. Least that's what I got from it. Read it in like a few hours, short and to the point, easily laid out in different stages of navigating the pain process of ....LIFE?
January 27, 2019
Very boring and disappointing.
I thought I would buy two more books. One for my daughter in law who lost her son in an automobile accident. The other to my sister in law and brother, who just lost their son in an accident where he was a pedestrian and was hit by a car and died before they could get to the hospital.
I tried to read the book first to see if it might help them through their grief. But it was so boring, I don't believe they could have read it and I don't believe it would help them get through they grief. Sorry for the bad rating but this is why I read it first. Maybe
Useless to a grieving parent.
I thought I would buy two more books. One for my daughter in law who lost her son in an automobile accident. The other to my sister in law and brother, who just lost their son in an accident where he was a pedestrian and was hit by a car and died before they could get to the hospital.
I tried to read the book first to see if it might help them through their grief. But it was so boring, I don't believe they could have read it and I don't believe it would help them get through they grief. Sorry for the bad rating but this is why I read it first. Maybe
Useless to a grieving parent.
November 27, 2017
Can pain be the stimulus for self inspection, reorienting one's priorities, figuring out what is important, caring for the ones we love, and putting our emphasis on now, and not something else? If you are ready to hear this message than this book will be for you. With much emphathy and many stories, old and new, Steve Leder, grabs your innards and does not let go until you get the message: we all have pain at some time, we need to face it, embrace it, understand and have compassion for those who also share it, which is everyone.
November 13, 2017
Beautiful
Great insight and love the way it is explained. We can learn from these words as we all hurt at one time or another.
Great insight and love the way it is explained. We can learn from these words as we all hurt at one time or another.
May 7, 2023
This book promises that we can not only survive great suffering but come out better for it. The obvious comparison is between this and the classic When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Kushner. While this isn't quite up to that level, it may be of comfort to those coping with adversity. Similarities: both are written by reformed rabbis who have been through their own pain and are often called upon to help others going through tragedy or facing death. The main difference is that Leder's book focuses more on physical pain. Both try to make sense of suffering and use stories from the Old Testament, other religious texts, and non-religious parables to explain why people often suffer through no fault of their own. (Emphasis - through no fault of their own!) I would recommend Kushner's book first, but if you're looking for more, this one also has wisdom. Kushner lost his beloved son to a cruel disease, while Leder had an excruciating back injury. So, they are coming from those experiences when they talk about pain. You don't need to be Jewish to read these- both rabbis refer to God in an all-encompassing manner, meaning any force of the universe you might call God. Leder says this can be mother nature, science, or any of the names for God. All of these involve a higher power or a force beyond us as individuals.
January 22, 2024
“What was was, what is is and that’s that.”
Rabbi Steve Leder shares some beautiful wisdom about suffering. You need not be Jewish nor practice any religion to appreciate and benefit from this book (that said, many of the stories come from the Abrahamic religions, which might resonate with some more than others). If you’ve been walking a spiritual path, then Rabbi Leder will likely reinforce ideas and beliefs that you already hold and, if not, it might introduce you to some new ways of approaching suffering that can lighten your load. I speak from personal experience when I say that trauma does not have to define you, grief can make you more compassionate, and forgiveness can be deeply transformational. 4 stars because some parts felt more fleshed out than others, and I simply would have liked a bit more.
Rabbi Steve Leder shares some beautiful wisdom about suffering. You need not be Jewish nor practice any religion to appreciate and benefit from this book (that said, many of the stories come from the Abrahamic religions, which might resonate with some more than others). If you’ve been walking a spiritual path, then Rabbi Leder will likely reinforce ideas and beliefs that you already hold and, if not, it might introduce you to some new ways of approaching suffering that can lighten your load. I speak from personal experience when I say that trauma does not have to define you, grief can make you more compassionate, and forgiveness can be deeply transformational. 4 stars because some parts felt more fleshed out than others, and I simply would have liked a bit more.
May 14, 2019
As a the leader of a large temple in Los Angeles, Rabbi Leder has comforted hundreds of people in their darkest times. He is familiar with how loss can transform lives, and spur new growth in people. When Leder faced his own dark challenges, he became intimately familiar with how people respond to disaster, and offers advice on how to help grieving friends and family. This is a wonderful, optimistic book about love, loss and finding purpose after the fact. "Pain cracks us open," he writes. "It breaks us. But in the breaking, there is a new kind of wholeness." He offers religious parables from Judasim, as well as other major religions, and encourages us to remember that grief affects anyone, regardless of faith, and empathy is a wonderful gift. Highly recommend.
January 26, 2020
I picked this book up as part of the research I was doing on a writing project I am working on, but didn't start reading it until a few weeks later after my family learned that my father would not be returning home from the hospital.
Leder offers words of comfort and perspective that help readers of all spiritual backgrounds (or agnostics like me) step back from suffering and find ways to let those experiences shape us into kinder, more compassionate, people. This is not your usual, "God has a reason for everything..." or "God allows us to suffer so we become stronger," blah blah blah. Leder acknowledges that suffering sucks, but it is our response to that suffering that can transform us.
Leder offers words of comfort and perspective that help readers of all spiritual backgrounds (or agnostics like me) step back from suffering and find ways to let those experiences shape us into kinder, more compassionate, people. This is not your usual, "God has a reason for everything..." or "God allows us to suffer so we become stronger," blah blah blah. Leder acknowledges that suffering sucks, but it is our response to that suffering that can transform us.
May 3, 2020
Amazing!
This book was a gift from a stranger whom I’d never meet before. ( friend of my sisters)
I bought it on my kindle as well as having a hard copy.
Anyone who has lost a love one to death.....
Steve Leder puts words on paper to literally
Pull you through that difficult time.
I’ve re-read the pages over and over.
It shares strong messages that could be imported during these incredible times of Covid-19.
Everyone should read this book..... it puts value on life for the living and perspective for who we’ve lost.
Steve Leder...........you’re an amazing/wise/wonderful human who shares your experiences honestly. .......
you give guidance and not text book lectures.
That’s the key to an experienced human.
Thank you.
This book was a gift from a stranger whom I’d never meet before. ( friend of my sisters)
I bought it on my kindle as well as having a hard copy.
Anyone who has lost a love one to death.....
Steve Leder puts words on paper to literally
Pull you through that difficult time.
I’ve re-read the pages over and over.
It shares strong messages that could be imported during these incredible times of Covid-19.
Everyone should read this book..... it puts value on life for the living and perspective for who we’ve lost.
Steve Leder...........you’re an amazing/wise/wonderful human who shares your experiences honestly. .......
you give guidance and not text book lectures.
That’s the key to an experienced human.
Thank you.
October 7, 2023
This book was recommended to me by my FTD group leader after I lost my sister. There are so many pearls of wisdom but one that really resonated for me was
"To love and care for someone who is whole is one thing. To love and care for a person when he or she is broken, weak, and afraid is quite another. That is the deepest kind of love; a love discovered only through vulnerability and pain."
I was conflicted by how strong my love and memories of my sister when she was ill have stuck in my brain. I lived with her in graduate school and kept reaching back for those memories and the more recent ones remain so powerful. Now I see that is to be expected.
His notes on a higher power were also very helpful.
"To love and care for someone who is whole is one thing. To love and care for a person when he or she is broken, weak, and afraid is quite another. That is the deepest kind of love; a love discovered only through vulnerability and pain."
I was conflicted by how strong my love and memories of my sister when she was ill have stuck in my brain. I lived with her in graduate school and kept reaching back for those memories and the more recent ones remain so powerful. Now I see that is to be expected.
His notes on a higher power were also very helpful.
December 31, 2020
The transformative words in this book are beyond powerful. In my opinion every human being should read Steve’s life changing masterpiece. I do believe the way I view pain and suffering will never be the same again. Beauty from ashes comes to mind. In the depths of darkness there is hope. Quite simply the best book on dealing with suffering out there today. I saw rabbi Leder on the Today show and was impressed with his outlook. Thus inspiring me to read his words of healing. Wisdom and life are compiled in this compact work. All people at one point or another suffer from something. These enlightening and encouraging ways to handle the pain born from that are immeasurable.
January 11, 2021
Perfect pandemic read
I originally bought this book because I was having difficulty coping with the anxiety that covid-19 tends to bring with it. shortly after starting it however my son had surgery and my father-in-law, the man who walked me down the aisle and loved me as a daughter unconditionally, passed away suddenly. I am a woman without a religion to belong to. I do not believe as Christians do and my beliefs tend to fall in line with Judaism however I am not converted and cannot be considered a Jew. Regardless of your religious affiliation this book will speak to your heart. It speaks to humanity as a whole and everyone has something to gain from reading this book.
I originally bought this book because I was having difficulty coping with the anxiety that covid-19 tends to bring with it. shortly after starting it however my son had surgery and my father-in-law, the man who walked me down the aisle and loved me as a daughter unconditionally, passed away suddenly. I am a woman without a religion to belong to. I do not believe as Christians do and my beliefs tend to fall in line with Judaism however I am not converted and cannot be considered a Jew. Regardless of your religious affiliation this book will speak to your heart. It speaks to humanity as a whole and everyone has something to gain from reading this book.
March 23, 2024
I did not like the word "suffering" in the subtitle when I first picked up this book at the resale shop. However, as the opening words say, "Every one of us sooner or later walks through hell." That captured my attention and each short chapter provides stories, insight, and ways to reframe the pain into knowledge and growth.
I became a little annoyed at how often the author had to point out that he is the "senior rabbi of one of the world's largest synagogues," Regardless, I turned down pages, highlighted passages and plan to gift it to at least two people I know-one Christian and one Jew--although that's not a terribly important criteria for reading.
I became a little annoyed at how often the author had to point out that he is the "senior rabbi of one of the world's largest synagogues," Regardless, I turned down pages, highlighted passages and plan to gift it to at least two people I know-one Christian and one Jew--although that's not a terribly important criteria for reading.
November 9, 2024
This was a tiny gem of a book that I read short chapter by short chapter.
It's a book written by a rabbi about pain, grief, and suffering. (A thrilling topic, I know!) It's about the changes within us that come from trying times. There's no toxic positivity. No "everything happens for a reason" BS. Just genuine points to think about. And while the author speaks of examples from his experiences, I don't think it'd be off-putting to a non-religious person.
The line that sticks with me: Do not come out of hell empty-handed.
Pain and grief should change you. The compassion and empathy and appreciation of life that suffering can bring if you allow it - those can be a superpower.
It's a book written by a rabbi about pain, grief, and suffering. (A thrilling topic, I know!) It's about the changes within us that come from trying times. There's no toxic positivity. No "everything happens for a reason" BS. Just genuine points to think about. And while the author speaks of examples from his experiences, I don't think it'd be off-putting to a non-religious person.
The line that sticks with me: Do not come out of hell empty-handed.
Pain and grief should change you. The compassion and empathy and appreciation of life that suffering can bring if you allow it - those can be a superpower.
November 3, 2019
A friend recommended this book. I'm always glad when I have a good book to read. Although our trials differ- we were both helped by reading this book. I was amazed that the author, a rabbi, could understand other's loss, and pain when he had not experienced that kind of trauma himself. He had a serious pain- body suffering - which to me is different. I think it must take a special person to be able to empathize with others who are in a different kind of pain. Suffering can transform us for good or bad.
December 30, 2019
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
My husband of 26 years is dying a little every day of Alzheimer's disease. When we met I was a bit 'hard boiled' because of what life had done to me, or I should say allowed let happen to me. Through his beautiful ways my outer shell disintegrated and became what I am today. This book has taught me that you too can become beautiful through pain. I feel, that by reading these words made me look inside myself to bring out the true me. Never have I felt this before.
My husband of 26 years is dying a little every day of Alzheimer's disease. When we met I was a bit 'hard boiled' because of what life had done to me, or I should say allowed let happen to me. Through his beautiful ways my outer shell disintegrated and became what I am today. This book has taught me that you too can become beautiful through pain. I feel, that by reading these words made me look inside myself to bring out the true me. Never have I felt this before.
May 14, 2023
I was in the book store looking for books to start my journey of becoming a Life Coach. Well, nothing speaks to you more than suffering does it? The biggest message I got from this book is to embrace the suffering I've been through and channel it into a greater good. Without suffering, we aren't human and we don't grow. Honestly, I couldn't have picked up a better short read to start my journey if I tried! My father had just passed after almost 10 years of caretaking Parkinsons, when I found this book. Keep your faith, when you read it, so you imbibe the messages.
June 3, 2023
A powerful book with wisdom for how we can allow suffering to transform us, change us. Rather than ask “Why me,” asking how we can use our suffering to become more powerful and make a difference in the world.
“You matter because you were created in a way unlike any other person on earth. You are unique. Your pain, your wounds, your scars and weakness have made you kind, powerful, gentle, and wise in new ways; they have made you beautiful in a way unlike anyone else…Do not come out of hell empty-handed. Do not let your suffering be in vain. You matter. Live like it” (172-173).
“You matter because you were created in a way unlike any other person on earth. You are unique. Your pain, your wounds, your scars and weakness have made you kind, powerful, gentle, and wise in new ways; they have made you beautiful in a way unlike anyone else…Do not come out of hell empty-handed. Do not let your suffering be in vain. You matter. Live like it” (172-173).
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