“Makes for seriously sexy (and smart) summer reading.”― Elle “I behave badly to set myself apart. To test myself. To push myself. To prove something. To shock someone. ... I behave badly because I can.” That’s how Ellen Sussman describes her mischievous endeavors. In this anthology of personal essays, she’s invited twenty-five other bad girl writers to share their stories. Ann Hood lies; Mary Roach confesses. Erica Jong, the original bad girl, challenges her own claim to that fame. Caroline Leavitt marries and cheats. These pages bristle with danger. The writers dig deep―bad behavior lies in their souls. And what they bring to the surface reveals telling truths about our psyches and our society.
Ellen Sussman is the New York Times bestselling author of four novels, A Wedding in Provence, The Paradise Guest House, French Lessons, and On a Night Like This. She is the editor of two critically acclaimed anthologies, Bad Girls: 26 Writers Misbehave and Dirty Words: A Literary Encyclopedia of Sex. She teaches through Stanford Continuing Studies and in private classes. www.ellensussman.com
Bless their lyin', cheatin' hearts, Bad Girls are everywhere.
There are some pretty good essays in this collection. From cussing to adultery, these gals seem to have covered the gamut of ways to be bad. (Alas, no one confesses to horse thievery or murder, but there seems to be an awful lot of lusting after clergymen among the female congregants.)
And speaking of confessing, leave it to Mary Roach to bring on the funny as she talks about going to confession in her younger days:
The trick was to find an appropriate generality for each sin, thereby sparing oneself the humiliation of fine detail. If the sin was, say, "I found a Girl Scout badge on the playground and sewed it onto my sash, even though I have not completed any of the requirements for the Hospitality Badge and I know that the badge belongs to Cindy Peters," the apt confession would be: "I was dishonest." Week after week I confessed the same three or four bland, amorphous sins, as did, I suspect, all my friends: "I was dishonest, I swore, I disobeyed my parents." No details were ever offered up. How dull it must have been for the parish priests. How much livelier their job had they gotten to hear little Mary Roach kneel down and confess that she'd called her brother a fucker or belched at the dinner table.
Another standout is a poignant essay shared by Katherine Weber about an illicit overnight climb with a male friend to the 99th floor of the still-under-construction World Trade Center:
Does he remember that night? Did he think of it as I did, in the days after September 11, 2001, when the news was filled with so many images of that stairwell? Does he recall it the same way, the night we stood so close together, gazing down at the city, the night our friendship or whatever it was culminated in that private, secret, triumphant ascent? The arduous, cold, and dark descent lay ahead of us, but for that moment, we had everything worked out, we knew so much, we had our lives ahead of us, and we were, it seemed, on top of the world.
I was always a Good Girl. I hated making the adults angry. The principal's office? I had no clue where it was as I certainly never saw the inside of it. I did what I was told AND what was expected of me. Then I hit 45, and things changed. I learned the word "No." It was suddenly okay to say it. "No." Sometimes even, "No!" No, I don't want to serve on that committee. No, I can't come to your party. And it worked. If my answer displeased some people, I honestly didn't care. Most women probably come to this realization a lot earlier in life than I did, and oh, they are certainly the lucky ones. It's your life, and freedom is one of the most magnificent feelings you will ever know.
So, go ahead. Feel free to cuss. Down a beer or two. Whistle at a construction worker. There's a world of Bad Girls out there who've got your back.
The first few essays and last few essays were standouts. Much of the 50-75% section of the book were boring women of various religions complaining about boarding school, which I could've gone without.
Joyce Maynard's essay about the fallout of her pre-Me, Too writing about JD Salinger stood out.
"All my life I'd been afraid that if I were ever to be a bad girl, no one would love me anymore.... What is a bad girl really, but a girl who doesn't do the things other people tell her she's supposed to? ... Sometimes a bad girl is just someone who tells the truth."
Other absolute favorites were "Penises I Have Known" by Daphne Merkin, "My Dirty Secret" by Erica Jong, and "Consider the Slut" by Ellen Sussman.
This essay collection found me at the right time, and I would pick it up at odd times to read an essay that just perfectly settled one my own pending decisions. I am grateful for the playfulness of this collection and envision future editions in this vein.
This collection plays with and stretches the boundaries of what we think of as "bad". As Joyce Maynard says in her story A Good Girl Goes Bad: "And what is a bad girl, really, but a girl who doesn't always do the things people tell her she's supposed to? Sometimes, it's true, a bad girl may be someone who cheats or steals or hurts people or lies. And sometimes a bad girl is just someone who tells the truth."
Interesting as the journey was, I couldn't help but notice that it was an overwhelmingly white middle-class meander through childhood memories, traumas and ho stories. A more diverse selection of authors would have significantly broadened the concept they were tackling, making Maynard's quote even more poignant.
I have no issues with women paying no heed to social expectations but this collection of essays felt more like titillation at its worst. OOOH she slept with lots of men. OH SHE'S SO NAUGHTY. Ignoring social norms. WHOAH THAT'S SO SHOCKING.
Because there's an overriding sense that Bad Girls are the opposite of Nice Girls, which is what women are "supposed to be". And that's where I felt a lot of the essays undermined the female cause that women can do whatever the hell they want without having to be labelled as Bad. Screw the naughty corner. Do what you want and own it, without having to pigeonhole yourself as Bad OR Misbehaving.
One of the better theme-based essay collections I have read. The author has done a terrific job of marshalling talented authors and the quality of the entries reflects that. As always, some are better than others, and in this case, some are more on theme than others, but collectively, an enjoyable read.
From Joyce Maynard's chapter, "A good girl goes bad": p109 "I carried with me a deep shame at having failed to deserve the abiding love of the person whose love I had most longed to win."
The idea of 'deserving' love.
p114 "All my life I'd been afraid that if I were ever to be a bad girl, no one would love me anymore. But what does it mean, anyway, if what it takes to be loved is the denial of one's own story? And what is a bad girl, really, but a girl who doesn't always do the things other people tell her she's supposed to do? Sometimes, it's true, a bad girl may be someone who cheats or steals or hurts people or lies. And sometimes a bad girl is just someone who tells the truth."
From Erica Jong's chapter, "My Dirty Secret": p289 "...there was no point in being good - if you wanted to be noticed. Bad girls were noticed. Good girls were ignored. Not wanting to be ignored, I impersonated a bad girl. My dirty secret was that I was really good."
p290 "To be a bad girl means you can be sexual, outspoken, naked, possibly adored but never respected. I love my bad girl for her honesty, but I hate her for what she has put me through."
p293 "The greatest feminists have also been the greatest lovers...You cannot divide creative juices from human juices. And as long as juicy women are equated with bad women, we will err on the side of being bad. What is a bad girl, after all, but a full human being...we think this has changed today because female sexuality seems to everywhere - on TV, the Internet, in public discourse. But the public sexuality we see is as bogus and inhuman as implanted breasts. It is not a sexuality that breeds intimacy or empathy....The very notions of good and bad girls are dictated by male fears. The good girl is wife, mother and daughter while the bad girl is the object of lust. As long as men cannot integrate these two creatures, we will be condemned to impersonate them We know we are neither bad nor good. We know we are woman in full, not girls in parts."
This collection of autobiographical essays collected from women writers, some much more famous than others, was one I highly anticipated reading. I have had it on my wish list since it was published and reviewed in Bitch magazine. However, I guess I must have built it up too much in my mind, because I didn't find myself enjoying it as much as I had hoped. I had really hoped for some truly shocking revelations, but for the most part, the ladies admit to such things as driving really fast, listening to other people's confessions, eating shellfish, being so good at her job it makes other people jealous, etc. One woman finds it scandalous that she's really such a good girl that her worst offense is having forged a permission slip for another girl (although that was a really fun story to read.) The only truly salacious confession comes from Caroline Leavitt who was so insecure in her marriage that she slept with a really gross dude who taught her ballet class. The only story I really enjoyed was "Penises I Have Known", which is an essay on a decidedly vulgar topic dressed up with SAT level vocabulary, and presented in such a way that I wouldn't be surprised to see it published in a scholarly journal. Included at the end is some biographical information for each contributor. If I had known that was there, I'd have flipped to it after reading each chapter. As it was, I discovered it at the end and had to flip back to remember who belonged to which story. It would have been nice to have that information included with the story, either at the beginning or immediately following, like a lot of science fiction collections do. Although none of the essays are terrible, and almost all were fun to read, I just didn't relish reading the book as much as I expected to. It's completely possible that this is my fault. It's also possible that I've been such a bad girl that nothing really scandalizes me any more.
This was my ideal poolside read - a thinking woman's look at what it means to be a "bad girl," disguised as fluffy chick lit. The 26 different writers who contribute essays to the book explore, expand, and sometime discard altogether what it means to be "bad." Who writes the definition? Who makes the rules? They range in age, experience and level of bravado, but ultimately each essay leaves you thinking about yourself and other women in a different way. One of my favorite moments came late in the book, at the end of Erica Jong's essay that struggled to define what it means to be bad: "The words do not exist yet for what we are... we cannot be contained in language as we find it. We talk earlier than boys and with more complexity. It's time for us to reject masculine simplicity and create new systems of communication." Can I get an amen?
I've been having a hard time finishing books without a cohesive plot recently, so it says something about the quality of this collection that I actually made it through to the end before the book was even due back at the library.
I liked the idea of thinking through "bad" as a feminist issue, and who gets to decide if a particular behavior or a person herself qualify as bad or not. I liked the explorations of the opposite of bad, too. There was, unsurprisingly I suppose, a fair amount of intentional titillation, but there were many more essays that were thought provoking or profoundly interesting.
Even the piece on penises, which a few reviews have dismissed as simple vulgarity dressed up in graduate school vocabulary, was interesting enough for me to read a paragraph out loud to my long-suffering husband, who has no interest in feminism, bad girls, or descriptions of penises.
The whole concept of the "bad girl" is ripe to be explored and so I was mildly hopeful. Personally, I think the "bad girl" is a load of tripe and should be thoroughly debunked. It seems to me the term is typically used by drunk women at bars while spanking each other and giggling "we're so bad" while watching everyone look at them. Many of the essays read like the embarassment page from Cosmo which is probably where this book was listed as a read. Sadly, many women still seem to transmit badness as having sex or behaving stupidly. I do commend two of the essays: Joyce Maynard's "A Good Girl Goes Bad," and Kaui Hart Hemmings' "Author Questionaire" as standouts in the collection.
Hilarious stories about youth and the many ways we try to "put one over" on someone (usually our parents, teachers, or law enforcement officers). The only thing that sort of bothered me was that most of these writers felt the need to highlight their accomplishments/claims to fame in their pieces (see: ego-stroking?). One woman's father is John Cheever (and personally knew E.E. Cummings), another slept with J.D. Salinger (and was being published in high school.....which sickens me!). Makes for an interesting story I guess, but I sort of resent the pretentiousness, ladies! But maybe that was Sussman's intention.
More prep reading. "Bad" -- surprise, surprise -- is frequently synonymous with "dirty" and almost never with "subversive." There were a few pleasant pieces (Susan Casey's "Skipping Christmas," Elizabeth Benedict's "The Thrill of a Well-Placed 'Fuck'"), but the scope felt fairly narrow. Mostly, maybe, this is because all (or almost all?) of the pieces were written as reflections, the "bad girl" a mostly-buried personality aberration. Not for me.
It's an interesting read. It's an essay collection from different authors so it runs the risk of being wildly uneven, and unfortunately it is that. Made me want to read more Joyce Maynard and I loooove me some Kim Addonizio but a few were real duds and one essay I couldn't even finish because it felt so technical compared to the personal revelations of some of the other essays--it was boring and it was about penises, so I'd say boring is a problem.
This is decent overall, not spectacular (and no one's really that "bad")--but I was knocked out by Katharine Weber's story of a friend sneaking her into the World Trade Center when it was under construction. If there's ever a literary anthology of urban exploration (they've got them on almost everything else), it'd be perfect.
An interesting collection of essays; but, nothing that would have shattered my world had I not read it. Some of the essays were very good (Jong), some of them, not so much. It was interesting to see the different ways that each writer defined or viewed "badness." There is a good mix of authors and viewpoints here so, you are likely to find at least one or two essays that appeal to you.
i totally dug it. picked it up at work on the free table, so i wasn't sure, but lots of good essays in here (erica jong, susan cheever, joyce maynard) about being a "bad" girl in a world where only "good" girls seem truly valued or taken seriously. "bad" is, of course, relative in this book, but we all have a different compass to travel by.
I found myself guffawing out loud on airplanes, at the pool and just about everywhere! I related to just about every essay in here on some level; if not by action...certainly relating by emotion. Ellen Sussman the editor even e-mailed me back when I sent her gushing fan mail thanking her for compiling such a clever collection.
My favorite stories: Lying, Bad Dancer, The Thrill of a Well Placed 'Fuck', Laura the Pest, Skipping Christmas, Author Questionnaire, The Thrill of the Spill, Turn It UP! These are the best written, imo, but they ALL felt so cathartic to read. I like being bad!!!!! And...you'd never know it on the outside.
Some of the essays were awesome. I did feel like the repeated themselves a bit though How many times do I need to hear the "I was a good girl until..." story. A good read, but I'd suggest reading it in parts instead of straight though.
A fun, quick read. For the bad girl in all of us. Actually, I think Amy would probably like it, for just that reason. I don't know, something to do with all the bars she has frequented lately makes me think of it for her.
I would recommend reading this one over time. Great premise and most of the writers really come through. A little hard to take, however, reading them back to back. Interesting to read what they each thought about "misbehaving".
A good bus read, as it's a collection of short stories. I think the stories got better in the later chapters - some of the early ones didn't shock me enough. I did feel silly carrying this book around because of the name & cover photo. Oh, well!
I thought this book was a really easy, fun read. I liked how it was short stories and that I could easily put it down for a week or something if I was busy and pick it back up and not skip a beat or have to backtrack to remember what I read a week ago.
The collection of essays was uneven. Some were good; others were terrible. But it might be worth picking up at the library just to read Daphne Merkin's "Penises I Have Known." Now that's one you can really sink your teeth into. No pun intended.
With a variety of stories on being a "bad girl", this anthology was quite funny, and thought-provoking as well. Stories ranged from tales about attending an abusive father's funeral, to one called "Penises I have Known."
Overall I enjoyed this collection quite a bit. I did miss more queer content, perhaps needed a bit less I had sex and was bad type stories. The writing was solid but I wasn't entirely moved by any of the essays unfortunately.
This book was delightful. From essays on adolescent sexual fumblings, to Mary Roach talking about the naughty thrill of the confessional, to an essay on why women don't talk more about penis attributes, I enjoyed this heartily and was inspired to write my own "bad girl" essays.