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The Stones of Power #1
Ruby: Lost and Found
Lord Morgorth is a dark mage on the planet Karishian. He’s considered a villain by his peers and relishes the title, having embraced the role earlier in his life. However, not all of his actions are necessarily villainous.
Despite owning several of the Stones of Power—gemstones infused with powerful magick—he doesn’t use them, preferring to keep them hidden away and out of destructive, power-hungry hands. He hates them more than anything. So when a sorcerer gets a hold of a major stone, Morgorth has no choice but to go after him. But, to his irritation, he is not alone. Aishe is a dialen whose tribe was massacred by the sorcerer, and is now on a mission of vengeance. The attraction is instant between them, but Morgorth keeps his distance. Because of a traumatic childhood and a deadly destiny, he has no desire for emotional complications. But Aishe’s very presence challenges Morgorth's resolve.
Not only does Morgorth admire Aishe’s strength and intelligence, but he begins to see Aishe as a friend. As their hunt continues and their time together lengthens, their bond deepens, as does Morgorth’s fear. If he becomes the monster that destiny claims he will be, will he hurt Aishe? Will he harm the one person who sees right through him? Who accepts him wholeheartedly? Determined to not let that happen, Morgorth keeps Aishe at a distance. But when Aishe is kidnapped by the sorcerer, what will Morgorth do to get him back?
Despite owning several of the Stones of Power—gemstones infused with powerful magick—he doesn’t use them, preferring to keep them hidden away and out of destructive, power-hungry hands. He hates them more than anything. So when a sorcerer gets a hold of a major stone, Morgorth has no choice but to go after him. But, to his irritation, he is not alone. Aishe is a dialen whose tribe was massacred by the sorcerer, and is now on a mission of vengeance. The attraction is instant between them, but Morgorth keeps his distance. Because of a traumatic childhood and a deadly destiny, he has no desire for emotional complications. But Aishe’s very presence challenges Morgorth's resolve.
Not only does Morgorth admire Aishe’s strength and intelligence, but he begins to see Aishe as a friend. As their hunt continues and their time together lengthens, their bond deepens, as does Morgorth’s fear. If he becomes the monster that destiny claims he will be, will he hurt Aishe? Will he harm the one person who sees right through him? Who accepts him wholeheartedly? Determined to not let that happen, Morgorth keeps Aishe at a distance. But when Aishe is kidnapped by the sorcerer, what will Morgorth do to get him back?
296 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 7, 2012
6 people are currently reading
119 people want to read
About the author
M.D. Grimm
64 books120 followersM.D. Grimm has wanted to write stories since second grade (kind of young to make life decisions, but whatever) and nothing has changed since then (well, plenty of things actually, but not that!).
Thankfully, she has indulgent parents who let her dream, but also made sure she understood she’d need a steady job to pay the bills (they never let her forget it!). After graduating from the University of Oregon and majoring in English, (let’s be honest: useless degree, what else was she going to do with it?) she started on her writing career and couldn’t be happier.
Working by day and writing by night (or any spare time she can carve out), she enjoys embarking on romantic quests and daring adventures (living vicariously, you could say) and creating characters that always triumph against the villain, (or else what’s the point?) finding their soul mate in the process.
Thankfully, she has indulgent parents who let her dream, but also made sure she understood she’d need a steady job to pay the bills (they never let her forget it!). After graduating from the University of Oregon and majoring in English, (let’s be honest: useless degree, what else was she going to do with it?) she started on her writing career and couldn’t be happier.
Working by day and writing by night (or any spare time she can carve out), she enjoys embarking on romantic quests and daring adventures (living vicariously, you could say) and creating characters that always triumph against the villain, (or else what’s the point?) finding their soul mate in the process.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
August 13, 2023
3 stars
Cheesy nostalgia fantasy but make it gay
I was in the mood for some old-school fantasy and saw this for free in a Smashwords sale. I thought this would be a solid combo of cheesy fantasy and romance. And it was! So it scratched that itch, but also it reminded me why I don't really read much of that anymore. I read a different edition, but this other cover tells you all you need to know.
There's a quest, magic stones and creatures, sword & sorcery-esque vibes, hints of prophecy/chosen one tropes, some supercharged heroes (and villains to an extent), an MC who is a "villain" but really has a heart of gold.
Both MCs are strong characters. I'm glad the author didn't decide to go down the damsel in distress path. They both face off a number of times against the (actual) villain, in a set of mini-conflicts, which did lessen the impact of the "boss fight" at the end.
It's set in a purely fantastical world, but the POV MC mage has a portal to Earth so he's familiar with modern things and as such the dialogue and general style was quite modern which, while totally valid, for me doesn't work very well with the fantasy setting.
Morgoth, the POV character, had a difficult and abusive upbringing, which does explain his lack of self esteem and aversion to emotional connection with others. I nonetheless found his vacillating between pushing Aishe away, and being inexplicably drawn to him, to be quite frustrating at length. It looks like some of this continues into future books which...ugh.
There are hints of backstory that have me very intrigued though. If you do read this, I'd advise you don't do like I did and read all the blurbs for the rest of the series because I think you'll spoil some of the mystery. Unless you're like me and you enjoy being spoiled in which case the blurb for book 4 will explain what Aishe won't tell Morgoth in this book.
In the same Smashwords sale, I did pick up the next 3 books and...you know what? I probably will read them eventually, when this mood strikes me again. If you grew up reading things like The Belgariad or the Shannara Chronicles, but want something a bit more adult, this might hit that nostalgia spot.
Cheesy nostalgia fantasy but make it gay
I was in the mood for some old-school fantasy and saw this for free in a Smashwords sale. I thought this would be a solid combo of cheesy fantasy and romance. And it was! So it scratched that itch, but also it reminded me why I don't really read much of that anymore. I read a different edition, but this other cover tells you all you need to know.
There's a quest, magic stones and creatures, sword & sorcery-esque vibes, hints of prophecy/chosen one tropes, some supercharged heroes (and villains to an extent), an MC who is a "villain" but really has a heart of gold.
Both MCs are strong characters. I'm glad the author didn't decide to go down the damsel in distress path. They both face off a number of times against the (actual) villain, in a set of mini-conflicts, which did lessen the impact of the "boss fight" at the end.
It's set in a purely fantastical world, but the POV MC mage has a portal to Earth so he's familiar with modern things and as such the dialogue and general style was quite modern which, while totally valid, for me doesn't work very well with the fantasy setting.
Morgoth, the POV character, had a difficult and abusive upbringing, which does explain his lack of self esteem and aversion to emotional connection with others. I nonetheless found his vacillating between pushing Aishe away, and being inexplicably drawn to him, to be quite frustrating at length. It looks like some of this continues into future books which...ugh.
There are hints of backstory that have me very intrigued though. If you do read this, I'd advise you don't do like I did and read all the blurbs for the rest of the series because I think you'll spoil some of the mystery. Unless you're like me and you enjoy being spoiled in which case the blurb for book 4 will explain what Aishe won't tell Morgoth in this book.
In the same Smashwords sale, I did pick up the next 3 books and...you know what? I probably will read them eventually, when this mood strikes me again. If you grew up reading things like The Belgariad or the Shannara Chronicles, but want something a bit more adult, this might hit that nostalgia spot.
December 31, 2018
This book was a surprise for me. The series is currently free on Smashwords and I am always iffy about free books, you just never know when you’re wasting your time. As with all books I guess...
Anyways this book ended up being exciting and refreshing all at once. I loved our mages twisted humor, and how he deep down he really just wanted to be loved for once in his life. I loved that the romance was slow burn, although it was awkward and needy in some areas. I loved the world building and plot.
What I didn’t love was once our characters had sex they didn’t end up stopping for like 2 days. I also hated that this same couple continues into the other books. But that one is just my person tastes and didn’t effect my view or rating on the book, it just killed my opinion of the next book already. I am sure there is going to be more drama between the MCs and the romance will go up and down. My poor weak heart just can’t handle that these days.
Anyways this book ended up being exciting and refreshing all at once. I loved our mages twisted humor, and how he deep down he really just wanted to be loved for once in his life. I loved that the romance was slow burn, although it was awkward and needy in some areas. I loved the world building and plot.
What I didn’t love was once our characters had sex they didn’t end up stopping for like 2 days. I also hated that this same couple continues into the other books. But that one is just my person tastes and didn’t effect my view or rating on the book, it just killed my opinion of the next book already. I am sure there is going to be more drama between the MCs and the romance will go up and down. My poor weak heart just can’t handle that these days.
July 6, 2013
This is completely unlike anything I've ever read before.
The cover's interesting. It's all manga-esque and stuff.
You know, it was good. It was really good. The world was created nicely and the characterization was well-handled. Even when Morgorth was all in his self-hatey mode, he was endearing and not a stuck-up ass. There weren't dissonant moments when he described his beauteousness such as exists in Twilight, for example, or...other stuff I shan't name.
I liked the character interactions and how holistic the entire thing was.
The backstory didn't seem disingenuous and the flashback actually worked for me.
Yeah. It was good. Bravo and stuff.
Side note, but woot! First review!
And lol the author rated this 4 stars.
The cover's interesting. It's all manga-esque and stuff.
You know, it was good. It was really good. The world was created nicely and the characterization was well-handled. Even when Morgorth was all in his self-hatey mode, he was endearing and not a stuck-up ass. There weren't dissonant moments when he described his beauteousness such as exists in Twilight, for example, or...other stuff I shan't name.
I liked the character interactions and how holistic the entire thing was.
The backstory didn't seem disingenuous and the flashback actually worked for me.
Yeah. It was good. Bravo and stuff.
Side note, but woot! First review!
And lol the author rated this 4 stars.
July 17, 2016
The characters were really engaging and I was riveted to the action through most of the book. There were lulls when things slowed down a bit which were nice when I need a place to stop so I could actually get some sleep though. I was always eager to dive back in after a break though, and I'm looking forward to reading the next book in the series.
December 29, 2017
If you’re looking for a good, well-paced, fun fantasy with a slow burn romance built in, I highly recommend Ruby: Lost and Found by M.D. Grimm. Once I started the book I couldn’t put it down, and I can’t wait to see what adventures are in store for Morgoth and Aishe.
July 11, 2020
Great book
I loved the premise using the 'villainous mage' as the main character and telling the story from his point of view. I loved Morgorth, he was such a complex character. Tortured and used by his family as a child, feared and hated by his fellow mages, alone his entire life, till he finally, reluctantly finds love. I also loved Aishe, who has also suffered great pain and loss. He is strong and determined, both for revenge and to gain Morgorth's heart. This book has lots of action, adventure, a quest to defeat a real evil mage, passion and love. I look forward to what M D Grimm has in store next for these two characters!
I loved the premise using the 'villainous mage' as the main character and telling the story from his point of view. I loved Morgorth, he was such a complex character. Tortured and used by his family as a child, feared and hated by his fellow mages, alone his entire life, till he finally, reluctantly finds love. I also loved Aishe, who has also suffered great pain and loss. He is strong and determined, both for revenge and to gain Morgorth's heart. This book has lots of action, adventure, a quest to defeat a real evil mage, passion and love. I look forward to what M D Grimm has in store next for these two characters!
March 20, 2019
I don't know why I've waited so long to read it. Such an unique and interesting tale of magic, power struggles, love, friendship and betrayal.
It's a beautiful mix of fantasy, paranormal and romance. I loved it and can't recommend enough.
Hurrying up to read the next in the series.
It's a beautiful mix of fantasy, paranormal and romance. I loved it and can't recommend enough.
Hurrying up to read the next in the series.
March 12, 2019
Wow. A great book.
September 1, 2019
Interesting main character
I liked the story and thought the main character was very interesting, is he had is he good? I am definitely getting the next book in the series.
I liked the story and thought the main character was very interesting, is he had is he good? I am definitely getting the next book in the series.
March 11, 2015
Original Blog Post:
Book Review: Ruby: Lost and Found by M.D. Grimm
Review by: Ray
My Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
M. D. Grimm has a vivid imagination. Not only has she created an interesting world, she has populated it with fascinating creatures. There are humans of varying races, and there are fanciful creatures, some friendly some not so friendly.
Morgorth is not only a powerful mage, he is the “seventh son of a seventh son,” a creature the prophecies say will ultimately destroy the world. Which is why he was condemned to die by the council of mages, but was saved by his mentor, Master Ulezander, who saw something in the young Morgorth that other mages could, or would not.
Morgorth has used his power to create the fortress of Geheimnis on a mountain peak. His fortress is protected by magick, and by the forest of Vorgorth, which is filled with powerful creatures, all of whom serve Morgorth.
The fortress of Geheimnis is situated between the kingdoms of the north and the kingdoms of the south, all of whom despise Morgorth and want him dead.
Morgorth is gathering stones of power, of which there are many, and is particularly searching for the Seven Stones of power created by sorcerers of old. He has become the self-appointed guardian of the stones, and has them locked away in his fortress under magickal protections that safeguard the world from them.
Enter Aishe, a young dialen. Member of one of the many tribes that inhabit the forests of the world. Aishe and Morgorth are linked by tragedy, and ultimately become lovers.
This book is at once powerful, and fascinating, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. The author is perhaps a little too fond of non-standard dialogue tags, but she doesn’t overdo it, so I won’t fault her for it.
I won’t go into a lot of detail, because to do so would get into the area of spoilers, and it is better for the reader to discover this world without too many foregone conclusions. Suffice it to say that If you like reading fantasy, you will enjoy this book. And, FYI, there are some descriptive sex scenes in the book.
Book Review: Ruby: Lost and Found by M.D. Grimm
Review by: Ray
My Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
M. D. Grimm has a vivid imagination. Not only has she created an interesting world, she has populated it with fascinating creatures. There are humans of varying races, and there are fanciful creatures, some friendly some not so friendly.
Morgorth is not only a powerful mage, he is the “seventh son of a seventh son,” a creature the prophecies say will ultimately destroy the world. Which is why he was condemned to die by the council of mages, but was saved by his mentor, Master Ulezander, who saw something in the young Morgorth that other mages could, or would not.
Morgorth has used his power to create the fortress of Geheimnis on a mountain peak. His fortress is protected by magick, and by the forest of Vorgorth, which is filled with powerful creatures, all of whom serve Morgorth.
The fortress of Geheimnis is situated between the kingdoms of the north and the kingdoms of the south, all of whom despise Morgorth and want him dead.
Morgorth is gathering stones of power, of which there are many, and is particularly searching for the Seven Stones of power created by sorcerers of old. He has become the self-appointed guardian of the stones, and has them locked away in his fortress under magickal protections that safeguard the world from them.
Enter Aishe, a young dialen. Member of one of the many tribes that inhabit the forests of the world. Aishe and Morgorth are linked by tragedy, and ultimately become lovers.
This book is at once powerful, and fascinating, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. The author is perhaps a little too fond of non-standard dialogue tags, but she doesn’t overdo it, so I won’t fault her for it.
I won’t go into a lot of detail, because to do so would get into the area of spoilers, and it is better for the reader to discover this world without too many foregone conclusions. Suffice it to say that If you like reading fantasy, you will enjoy this book. And, FYI, there are some descriptive sex scenes in the book.
June 10, 2014
I won this in a giveaway and quite enjoyed it. I'm a long-time fantasy fan and I enjoy a good quest and wizard battle.
Morgorth is a self-proclaimed villainous wizard who has carved his castle out. He's friends more with the dangerous creatures who help guard his place and he has protective nature for the neighboring town. About the most villainous thing we really see him do is prank the villagers. In the middle of this, the town comes under a real attack.
Afterwards he meets Aishe, a warrior who has lost his entire tribe to the same sorcerer who attacked the town. Aishe has come to find Morgorth to help him track down the sorcerer so he can kill him. Morgorth isn't used to having a partner and isn't sure he wants to partner up.
Learning that Kayl, the sorcerer has a power stone and could be a monster with it, Morgorth joins Aishe's quest. Since this is both fantasy and romance, it's not a surprise the two men fall for each other.
What I really liked about it was that Morgorth knows he's not a skilled lover. He has a lot of intimacy issues (for good reasons the reader will learn slowly). that's a nice change from the master lovers you usually see in romances.
Aishe and Morgorth do fight a lot. Morgorth reminds me of Angel a little (from BtVS) always wanting to run off to 'protect' Aishe from him.
The battles are good and I did enjoy how it ended. The one thing I would have liked more of was a bit more description to go with all the different fantasy creature names because I wasn't sure what most of them looked like so I wanted a bit more world building there. Over all though, it was fun.
Morgorth is a self-proclaimed villainous wizard who has carved his castle out. He's friends more with the dangerous creatures who help guard his place and he has protective nature for the neighboring town. About the most villainous thing we really see him do is prank the villagers. In the middle of this, the town comes under a real attack.
Afterwards he meets Aishe, a warrior who has lost his entire tribe to the same sorcerer who attacked the town. Aishe has come to find Morgorth to help him track down the sorcerer so he can kill him. Morgorth isn't used to having a partner and isn't sure he wants to partner up.
Learning that Kayl, the sorcerer has a power stone and could be a monster with it, Morgorth joins Aishe's quest. Since this is both fantasy and romance, it's not a surprise the two men fall for each other.
What I really liked about it was that Morgorth knows he's not a skilled lover. He has a lot of intimacy issues (for good reasons the reader will learn slowly). that's a nice change from the master lovers you usually see in romances.
Aishe and Morgorth do fight a lot. Morgorth reminds me of Angel a little (from BtVS) always wanting to run off to 'protect' Aishe from him.
The battles are good and I did enjoy how it ended. The one thing I would have liked more of was a bit more description to go with all the different fantasy creature names because I wasn't sure what most of them looked like so I wanted a bit more world building there. Over all though, it was fun.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 12, 2016
Loved this world M.D. Grimm created in this book!
Morgorth is a powerful mage who is a loner due to his childhood and the way he was raised he prefers to not have any emotional entanglements. So he likes being feared and not being close with anyone else.
Well that was true until he meets Aishe who is a dialen on a quest to avenge his family and his tribes deaths. Let's just say as soon as Morgorth meets Aishe he has a instant attraction to him but he fights it.
I have to say I loved the way this author wrote this story and these characters. From the moment I started this book I could not put this book down.
You get so much action and angst but you also get the sweet when Morgorth finally stops fighting his feelings. Then there was the steam which was so hot between these two men. I honestly can not wait to read the next book in this series.
All together I really loved this book!
I would definitely recommend this book!
I received this book free in exchange for an honest review from Inked Rainbow Reads.
Morgorth is a powerful mage who is a loner due to his childhood and the way he was raised he prefers to not have any emotional entanglements. So he likes being feared and not being close with anyone else.
Well that was true until he meets Aishe who is a dialen on a quest to avenge his family and his tribes deaths. Let's just say as soon as Morgorth meets Aishe he has a instant attraction to him but he fights it.
I have to say I loved the way this author wrote this story and these characters. From the moment I started this book I could not put this book down.
You get so much action and angst but you also get the sweet when Morgorth finally stops fighting his feelings. Then there was the steam which was so hot between these two men. I honestly can not wait to read the next book in this series.
All together I really loved this book!
I would definitely recommend this book!
I received this book free in exchange for an honest review from Inked Rainbow Reads.
September 10, 2016
I received a copy of MD Grimm’s Ruby: Lost and Found that introduced me to the intriguing world of Karishian and the mage Morgorth. Although Morgorth calls himself a Dark Mage, he is delightfully snarky, full of Earth references, and genuinely decent. He meets Aishe, a being very similar to elvish, in the defense of a village from an evil sorcerer. The two MCs set off on a quest to vanquish the evil sorcerer who stole a stone of power from Aishe’s tribe, wiping them out in the process. Most of the book concerns finding and defeating the evil sorcerer, in true high fantasy style. In the course of this, the MCs learn about each other, finding a true connection. Not all issues are resolved, leaving questions for the rest of the series to address. I found myself drawn into Grimm’s world-building and look forward to the next installment.
May 17, 2015
Well written, good depth and character development. No cliffhanger but definitely want to read about their next adventure. Slow, slow burn - loved that. And lots and lots of magic, which I love.
Morgorth is one of my all-time favorite characters. He's grouchy, sweet, vulnerable but thinks he's the the most evil mage in history - and a lot of other mages feel the same way. Aishe is the perfect foil for him.
I don't understand why this book and series hasn't gotten more attention because I've read the first 3 and hope to read many more. The world building fascinates me and the adventures are exciting. This same review will be posted for all 3 of the books because it applies to all.
Morgorth is one of my all-time favorite characters. He's grouchy, sweet, vulnerable but thinks he's the the most evil mage in history - and a lot of other mages feel the same way. Aishe is the perfect foil for him.
I don't understand why this book and series hasn't gotten more attention because I've read the first 3 and hope to read many more. The world building fascinates me and the adventures are exciting. This same review will be posted for all 3 of the books because it applies to all.
December 27, 2015
Just made it into my top 5 for 2015...
I love the way the first person is used and the language is something I can totally relate to .. It's similar to the way I speak so I was able to read this quite easily.
The world that M.D. has created is quite well built, with explanation that doesn't detract from the story and enables the reader to really build a picture.
I'm looking forward to the rest of the series.
I love the way the first person is used and the language is something I can totally relate to .. It's similar to the way I speak so I was able to read this quite easily.
The world that M.D. has created is quite well built, with explanation that doesn't detract from the story and enables the reader to really build a picture.
I'm looking forward to the rest of the series.
September 1, 2016
I'm a big fan of fantasy epics, and this one fills the bill.
There's not much that I can say about this book that hasn't already been said. The story does jump back and forth in time a bit, but you get used to it--eventually. In any case, the jumping back and forth in time doesn't detract from the story. Not one bit.
This reader is eagerly awaiting the next book in this series.
There's not much that I can say about this book that hasn't already been said. The story does jump back and forth in time a bit, but you get used to it--eventually. In any case, the jumping back and forth in time doesn't detract from the story. Not one bit.
This reader is eagerly awaiting the next book in this series.
November 6, 2012
Очень миленько, хоть временами и занудно.
April 8, 2014
Lucky Reviews Ruby Lost and Found by MD Grimm http://www.mrsconditreadsbooks.com/?p... 4.5 sweet peas
lurking-in-kindleland
December 15, 2014Torquere 12 days of Christmas freebie 15.12.14
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May 1, 2019I finished this book because it was on my reading list for Habitica, but that's the last time I'm ever going to do that. It was a journey through all the misconceptions I had about love and relationships as a young adult:
MESSAGE: If you deny everything a person is offering you because you have a dark past and potentialities that frighten you (I'm capable of so much evil boo hoo), there will be one person who will see through all of that to the essential goodness of you as you battle foes together
EXPERIENCE: Heck no. You have to work on yourself and work on becoming more open. Nobody is going to hack their way through your defenses and fight your demons for you. If they try, they're going to get super tired. You have to accept the love you're given. You have to see past through your insecurities and see the other person as real. If your childhood was shit, and your love nerve-endings have been burnt to a nub, you have to create ways to learn how to use that nub, like a person with an amputated hand. We all have to cope.
MESSAGE: "No true mother has favorites"
EXPERIENCE: Goddamit, no. This is an idealization of family that fucked up my expectations as a kid. No. Mothers are people too. They have favorites even though they try not to show it. Sometimes that favorite is not you. Sometimes it IS you and your siblings hate you for it. They are still "true" mothers. They are humans who try their best at motherhood and mothering and motherance, and sometimes they suck, but you only have a limited number of mothers so you make do. Also, lol, for when you try to become a mother too and see phrases like "no true mother…" Ugh.
And a bunch more, but I'm not going to try to remember more since I have so many more books to read.
That said, I still think reading this was a valuable experience (and no, it's not just the sunk cost fallacy in operation) because it helped me see a younger me. Also, it got me thinking about the general trend of mages having dark past, inability to function socially, and delusions of arcane knowledge and power. I think I like mages so much because of those comorbid symptoms--the unhappy childhood piece, the need to feel superior. Magic (does magic always come from being an unhappy child?). I don't know if it's a general nerd projection or a chunibyo phase, but it strikes a chord within me, and perhaps lots of other people as well.
I like to think I've left it all behind, but there will always be a sad little lich inside me, with fragile, alabaster wind-chime bones in heavy black robes, waiting in its tower of dark stone and fairy lights for someone to come and love it.
MESSAGE: If you deny everything a person is offering you because you have a dark past and potentialities that frighten you (I'm capable of so much evil boo hoo), there will be one person who will see through all of that to the essential goodness of you as you battle foes together
EXPERIENCE: Heck no. You have to work on yourself and work on becoming more open. Nobody is going to hack their way through your defenses and fight your demons for you. If they try, they're going to get super tired. You have to accept the love you're given. You have to see past through your insecurities and see the other person as real. If your childhood was shit, and your love nerve-endings have been burnt to a nub, you have to create ways to learn how to use that nub, like a person with an amputated hand. We all have to cope.
MESSAGE: "No true mother has favorites"
EXPERIENCE: Goddamit, no. This is an idealization of family that fucked up my expectations as a kid. No. Mothers are people too. They have favorites even though they try not to show it. Sometimes that favorite is not you. Sometimes it IS you and your siblings hate you for it. They are still "true" mothers. They are humans who try their best at motherhood and mothering and motherance, and sometimes they suck, but you only have a limited number of mothers so you make do. Also, lol, for when you try to become a mother too and see phrases like "no true mother…" Ugh.
And a bunch more, but I'm not going to try to remember more since I have so many more books to read.
That said, I still think reading this was a valuable experience (and no, it's not just the sunk cost fallacy in operation) because it helped me see a younger me. Also, it got me thinking about the general trend of mages having dark past, inability to function socially, and delusions of arcane knowledge and power. I think I like mages so much because of those comorbid symptoms--the unhappy childhood piece, the need to feel superior. Magic (does magic always come from being an unhappy child?). I don't know if it's a general nerd projection or a chunibyo phase, but it strikes a chord within me, and perhaps lots of other people as well.
I like to think I've left it all behind, but there will always be a sad little lich inside me, with fragile, alabaster wind-chime bones in heavy black robes, waiting in its tower of dark stone and fairy lights for someone to come and love it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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