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The Kindness Cure: How the Science of Compassion Can Heal Your Heart and Your World
It’s time for a kindness revolution. In The Kindness Cure , psychologist Tara Cousineau draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to show how simple practices of kindness—for ourselves, for others, and for our world—can dissolve our feelings of fear and indifference, and open us up to a life of profound happiness. Compassion for ourselves and others is our birthright as humans—hardwired into our DNA and essential to our happiness. But in our fast-paced, technical savvy and hyper competitive world, it may come as no surprise that rates of narcissism have risen, while empathy levels have declined. We now find ourselves in a “cool to be cruel” culture where it’s easy to feel disillusioned and dejected in our hearts, homes, and communities. So, how can we reverse this malady of meanness and make kindness and compassion an imperative? The Kindness Cure draws on the latest social and scientific research to reveal how the seemingly “soft skills” of kindness, cooperation, and generosity are fundamental to our survival as a species. In fact, it’s our prosocial abilities that put us at the head of the line. Blended with moving case studies and clinical anecdotes, Cousineau offers practical ways to rekindle kindness from the inside out. We are wired to care. The very existence of our human species evolved because of an intricate physiology built for empathy, compassion, and cooperation. Yet we have an epidemic of loneliness, indifference, and cruelty, and we see these destructive trends on a daily basis in our families, schools, neighborhoods, and workplaces. This important book teaches effective skills in compassion, mindfulness, and social and emotional learning, and reveals successful social policy initiatives in empathy taking place that inform everything from family life to education to the workplace. Kindness has the exponential power to renew relationships and transform how we think, feel, and behave in the world. Will you be a part of the revolution?
204 pages, Paperback
Published February 2, 2018
62 people are currently reading
1193 people want to read
About the author
Tara Cousineau
2 books26 followersPsychologist. Author of upcoming book, "The Kindness Cure: How the Science of Compassion Can Heal Your Heart and Your World" (New Harbinger, 2018). Do you think the world could use more kindness? Tell me why.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
August 3, 2018
As a hufflepuff, I was stoked to see that my library got this book in as soon as it came out and was just as excited to read it, so maybe my expectations were too high? I really was hoping for deeper information than I got. Again, I am a hufflepuff and a yoga teacher so I already have a strong understanding of kindness and the physiological effects of compassion, etc. So I was hoping for more earth-shattering revelations about the neuroscience and socio-economic effects of kindness and perhaps more out-of-the-box / new ideas about how to be more kind and bring more kindness and compassion to our lives. Instead, I felt it was rather dumbed down (even the pictures were cartoonish). This book covers the basics on kindness and compassion so if you haven't studied or read much about that or are just now getting into practicing Random Acts of Kindness, this would be a fantastic book for you. I think it would be a great book for teenagers and young people to read and maybe she intentionally geared it that way to be more accessible, idk, but I think most people who are going to pick up a book called The Kindness Cure already practice kindness and are aware of the benefits, so there's not really much new information here.
February 5, 2018
3.5 Stars, I was strongly tossing up between a 3 or 4 stars so will have to split the difference.
Pros: The book cover, I love the colours and design. The writing in the book was well written. The premise of the book was interesting enough to download a copy. I really wanted to love this book aas the message is so positive and I think the world needs more reminders to remain constantly kind instead of becoming jaded and cynical.
Cons: I lost interest fairly quickly when famous quotes about love and compassion where constantly thrown in felt overly cliched. It felt more like a mash up of famous quotes with some stories thrown in rather than a well researched psychology book I thought I was delving into.
This book was provided to me by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
Pros: The book cover, I love the colours and design. The writing in the book was well written. The premise of the book was interesting enough to download a copy. I really wanted to love this book aas the message is so positive and I think the world needs more reminders to remain constantly kind instead of becoming jaded and cynical.
Cons: I lost interest fairly quickly when famous quotes about love and compassion where constantly thrown in felt overly cliched. It felt more like a mash up of famous quotes with some stories thrown in rather than a well researched psychology book I thought I was delving into.
This book was provided to me by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
September 18, 2019
I haven’t read a book on self-improvement or metaphysics in a while. That’s why I got interested in this book and also because we live in the world driven by the money where kindness seems to be disappearing. Yes, we do need compassion, but this read for me was not interesting at all. Some examples given in this book are based on famous writings such as of Dalai Lama or Ralph Waldo Emerson or some good deeds that I’ve watched on CNN’s Heroes. For me this book brings a lot of things I’ve read or seen before, therefore it wasn’t an engaging read. But for those who are not familiar with the examples I mentioned, then the read may turn out to be interesting.
January 8, 2018
I read The Kindness Cure because I have an incredibly kind son who is confused by the number of downright unkind children his age. I agree with the author that, in general, empathy and acceptance of others has declined. This is despite all of the political correct speech of the 21st century, I might add. Bulllying and frenemies are sadly a very real part of so many children’s lives. The described psychology behind how the lack of kindness is affecting us is sound. I appreciated the inclusion of the topic of cultivating courage in the face of societal pressures and attitudes. As parents, we often neglect to see just how heavy peer pressure can be for even very young children. My only criticism with this book is that it is perhaps a tad dramatic at times. But the message of the book is powerful as is the prescribed pathway to cultivating kindness. I give it a solid 4 stars. Although I received a copy of this book from Net Galley, this did not affect my rating. I have provided an unbiased and honest review.
December 12, 2017
Thank you to New Harbinger Publications, Raincoast Books and Net Galley for providing me with an e-galley of The Kindness Cure by Tara Cousineau in exchange for an honest review. As the author states, our world is gravely lacking in empathy, respect and common decency. We seem to have strayed away from kindness in our lives instead of kindness being natural and necessary. This book deals with scientific data and personal research that prove over and over again how important kindness is to the quality of our lives. I thought The Kindness Cure might be preachy but, on the contrary, it is an enlightening text that promotes kindness to give joy and grace to our own lives as well as to the lives of those who cross our path. Kindness shown is kindness paid forward. Indifference does not enhance anyone's life. The author takes us on a step by step path to achieving kindness for ourselves and others. I highly recommend this book, especially in these troubled times.
January 25, 2018
I enjoyed this book.
Bringing light to being kind in various ways and giving us readers insight in different ways others have shown kindness to others!!
What a great reminder to always try to be kinder than necessary to yourself and those around you. And that just because your kind it doesn't mean that you're weak or mean giving in.
"Kindness is love in action."
"Kindness is strong, not weak."
"Kindess is blessing someone's life."
"Kindness can be fierce."
4 stars from me!
Recv'd a copy via Netgalley.
Bringing light to being kind in various ways and giving us readers insight in different ways others have shown kindness to others!!
What a great reminder to always try to be kinder than necessary to yourself and those around you. And that just because your kind it doesn't mean that you're weak or mean giving in.
"Kindness is love in action."
"Kindness is strong, not weak."
"Kindess is blessing someone's life."
"Kindness can be fierce."
4 stars from me!
Recv'd a copy via Netgalley.
February 19, 2018
If there is anything that is needed in this world right now, it is kindness. In this book, the author gently encourages us to cultivate a mindset of compassion for ourselves and for others. She draws upon self-compassion meditation techniques and adds her own stories and visions. A beautiful book, inside and out. Thanks to Goodreads for the review copy.
September 9, 2019
Message is good but simply too much guff.
July 25, 2024
A lot of the material may not be new for readers of similar books, but I do like that each chapter has a meditation related to that chapter's concept.
January 29, 2018
I received an e-book copy in exchange for my honest review.
It's more like 2.5, but hear me out - while I appreciate the book and agree with everything in it, the stories were lovely and inspiring, but in the end it felt a book a bit too long on this subject. I know I should be kind on it, but I am pretty sure this book can be made shorter and still keep the essence of it.
And I have other complaints like using mindfulness for almost half of the book before actually talking about mindfulness - it felt like borrowing mindfulness techniques and calling them "kindfulness". Also, more than half of the things that I learnt about kindness or highlighted in this book are quotes from other people - and I do not mean the people that shared their stories in this book, but famous people like Dalai Lama. It did feel like a book made in big part from other people's words.
In the end, though, there are some good and inspiring lessons in this book, only you have to dig a lot to get to them.
It's more like 2.5, but hear me out - while I appreciate the book and agree with everything in it, the stories were lovely and inspiring, but in the end it felt a book a bit too long on this subject. I know I should be kind on it, but I am pretty sure this book can be made shorter and still keep the essence of it.
And I have other complaints like using mindfulness for almost half of the book before actually talking about mindfulness - it felt like borrowing mindfulness techniques and calling them "kindfulness". Also, more than half of the things that I learnt about kindness or highlighted in this book are quotes from other people - and I do not mean the people that shared their stories in this book, but famous people like Dalai Lama. It did feel like a book made in big part from other people's words.
In the end, though, there are some good and inspiring lessons in this book, only you have to dig a lot to get to them.
January 5, 2018
I could not get past the introduction of this book. The author is writing a book about kindness which should be free of judgements and opinions. By the fifth paragraph she was drawing politics into this book and passing off her political opinions as facts. Not the best way to begin a book about kindness.
If you want to spread peace and kindness, it starts in your heart. If you have prejudice in your heart then it is impossible to bring true kindness to others.
Perhaps instead of writing a book about kindness Tara Cousineau should take a course in true kindness from Buddhist monks, Gurus and Swamis.
I received this advanced copy from Netgalley.
If you want to spread peace and kindness, it starts in your heart. If you have prejudice in your heart then it is impossible to bring true kindness to others.
Perhaps instead of writing a book about kindness Tara Cousineau should take a course in true kindness from Buddhist monks, Gurus and Swamis.
I received this advanced copy from Netgalley.
February 23, 2018
This is a Goodreads win review. I really loved this book. At this time I think too many people hide behind their social media platforms and say mean, hurtful crap about anyone. I was taught from a very early age to be kind to everyone and have compassion. Now too many people are intolerant, think of no one else and are cruel and they think this behavior is okay. Kindness has always brought me joy in my life and we should pass it forward.
January 22, 2018
This is the first book going to my DNF of the year. Maybe later I will try to read it again. Always give a second chance to books.
Did not like the tone of the writing. Maybe I did not get the full message but it seemed to me it was a bit judgemental.... not kind.
Maybe another day I will feel different.
Did not like the tone of the writing. Maybe I did not get the full message but it seemed to me it was a bit judgemental.... not kind.
Maybe another day I will feel different.
May 27, 2018
Kindness Is Simple and Sacred (KISS)
This was a lovely book and it truly inspired me to be a better person.
From the book:
SPEL:self-protective empathy lethargy.
PEPPIE: presence, emotional regulation, perspective, purpose, integration, effort.
"The true motivation for mindfulness is simply not to miss your life."
Kindsight: viewing life experiences with tenderness and understanding."
"See your mistakes as failing forward with new insights along the way."
Germer and Neff: The mind needs contrast to know anything.
" When you give yourself unconditional love, you discover the conditions under which you were unloved." The vital thing to keep in mind is that, as the old pain becomes exposed, it is presenting you with the opportunity to heal through kindfulness. "When we say, 'this is a moment of suffering,' we're actually creating perspective. That's a mindful moment. This is a moment to actually choose to be kind." from Germer. "This not only heals past pains, it makes us happier and more able to be kind to others."
Reflection: "As I make efforts to feel grateful, I become more aware of the delightful and surprising moments in my life."
Reflection: "Through kindsight I can reflect on my experience from a place of tenderness and understanding."
Reflection: "Kindness is contagious. No matter how my day unfolds, I will carry this thought: 'Be kinder than you think you are' and see what happens."
This was a lovely book and it truly inspired me to be a better person.
From the book:
SPEL:self-protective empathy lethargy.
PEPPIE: presence, emotional regulation, perspective, purpose, integration, effort.
"The true motivation for mindfulness is simply not to miss your life."
Kindsight: viewing life experiences with tenderness and understanding."
"See your mistakes as failing forward with new insights along the way."
Germer and Neff: The mind needs contrast to know anything.
" When you give yourself unconditional love, you discover the conditions under which you were unloved." The vital thing to keep in mind is that, as the old pain becomes exposed, it is presenting you with the opportunity to heal through kindfulness. "When we say, 'this is a moment of suffering,' we're actually creating perspective. That's a mindful moment. This is a moment to actually choose to be kind." from Germer. "This not only heals past pains, it makes us happier and more able to be kind to others."
Reflection: "As I make efforts to feel grateful, I become more aware of the delightful and surprising moments in my life."
Reflection: "Through kindsight I can reflect on my experience from a place of tenderness and understanding."
Reflection: "Kindness is contagious. No matter how my day unfolds, I will carry this thought: 'Be kinder than you think you are' and see what happens."
January 30, 2018
I received a free e-book copy of this title from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
The premise of this book is really quite simple: Tara Cousineau believes that what the world needs right now is more kindness. Throughout the pages of The Kindness Cure, she tries to provide tips and ideas on how to be more kind to each other, to the loved ones as well as to strangers-- but also, no less importantly, how to be more kind to oneself. The techniques she describes frequently draw on ideas connected with mindfulness, but, to put it in the simplest terms possible, what Cousineau suggests is that it is better to hit pause, take a deep breath and behave in kind way than to be quick to judge and harsh.
The book is illustrated with cute little drawings. It is organised into chapters that combine into a neat and compelling argument. While I'm not necessarily a person who needs to convinced about the necessity to be kinder to others, it is still a positive experience to read about the importance of being kind. What I particularly enjoyed were the short real life stories about how small (and bigger) acts of kindness can positively influence one's life. As to the overall message of the book, I agree almost 100%.
The premise of this book is really quite simple: Tara Cousineau believes that what the world needs right now is more kindness. Throughout the pages of The Kindness Cure, she tries to provide tips and ideas on how to be more kind to each other, to the loved ones as well as to strangers-- but also, no less importantly, how to be more kind to oneself. The techniques she describes frequently draw on ideas connected with mindfulness, but, to put it in the simplest terms possible, what Cousineau suggests is that it is better to hit pause, take a deep breath and behave in kind way than to be quick to judge and harsh.
The book is illustrated with cute little drawings. It is organised into chapters that combine into a neat and compelling argument. While I'm not necessarily a person who needs to convinced about the necessity to be kinder to others, it is still a positive experience to read about the importance of being kind. What I particularly enjoyed were the short real life stories about how small (and bigger) acts of kindness can positively influence one's life. As to the overall message of the book, I agree almost 100%.
December 13, 2017
In today’s environment of rudeness, bullying, and internet trolling, more kindness and empathy are certainly needed. The book opens with a section called “Kindness Takes Effort”. Many people want to be kind, but find themselves snapping at others. The author tells us right up-front that our stressful environment erodes our ability to be kind – unless we work at it.”Kindeness is love in action” – what a beautiful thought.
Cousineau says that our survival as a species requires the “soft skills” of kindness, cooperation, and generosity. Ever notice that when there is a crisis these “soft skills” come out in us? That shows that kindness is ingrained in us as humans – and there is still hope for us.
There are practical exercises throughout the book to put us back in touch with our empathetic nature. This book deserves a slow, thoughtful reading – even multiple readings to get its full value. I definitely recommend it.
Cousineau says that our survival as a species requires the “soft skills” of kindness, cooperation, and generosity. Ever notice that when there is a crisis these “soft skills” come out in us? That shows that kindness is ingrained in us as humans – and there is still hope for us.
There are practical exercises throughout the book to put us back in touch with our empathetic nature. This book deserves a slow, thoughtful reading – even multiple readings to get its full value. I definitely recommend it.
August 5, 2018
I'm not overly fond of self help books in general, let alone ones that focus on such soft topics as kindness. I'm also not a fan of constant name dropping and quotes as it can take away from the story that the author should be telling. If you can't stand either of these things, don't read this book.
However, I have been of the mind to be kinder to myself and reading this book is part of that process. It does explain the differences and interpretations of what kindness is and should be as well as break down some of the misconceptions surrounding the skill. Kindness does take courage when apathy is much easier. This book serves as a good reminder for that.
However, I have been of the mind to be kinder to myself and reading this book is part of that process. It does explain the differences and interpretations of what kindness is and should be as well as break down some of the misconceptions surrounding the skill. Kindness does take courage when apathy is much easier. This book serves as a good reminder for that.
April 28, 2020
This is a middle of the road book with great reminders on kindness and compassion. For some reason I had a hard time keeping focused on the book. I don't know if it's just because I have long been familiar with all of the adjectives that come with kindness, empathy, compassion, love etc... Either way, I am sure many will find resonance with this book. I definitely will be passing on my copy, as there is always someone who hasn't heard the message yet. Our world definitely needs more of all the good stuff.
January 27, 2018
Although I’m not usually drawn to self-help titles, I thought this might be an interesting read, given the times we live in.
Unfortunately, this came across as “campy” and unprofessional, biased and judgmental in nature. Additionally, the writing style itself seemed very simplistic. Did the author feel she needed to “dumb it down” for readers? If that was the case, she missed the mark.
Advance reader copy provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Unfortunately, this came across as “campy” and unprofessional, biased and judgmental in nature. Additionally, the writing style itself seemed very simplistic. Did the author feel she needed to “dumb it down” for readers? If that was the case, she missed the mark.
Advance reader copy provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
November 12, 2018
Exactly the type of soothing balm this world needs right about now!
If yr looking for a great overview of the most up-to-date ideas from the intersecting/overlapping disciplines of contemplative neuroscience, mind-body wisdom, positive psychology, and attachment theory, then look no further! Plus each chapter includes a down-to-earth practice suggestion and prompt for journalling.
Highly highly highly recommended!
If yr looking for a great overview of the most up-to-date ideas from the intersecting/overlapping disciplines of contemplative neuroscience, mind-body wisdom, positive psychology, and attachment theory, then look no further! Plus each chapter includes a down-to-earth practice suggestion and prompt for journalling.
Highly highly highly recommended!
July 10, 2021
I won this in a Goodreads giveaway.
Because it's from New Harbinger Publications, I knew it would be more credible than something from Hay House.
For someone new to the concept of kindness or empathy, this could be an eye-opening book.
I like that each chapter has lightbulb moments, "put it into practice" lessons for the reader, and a reflective thought. I also liked that there's a lot of science to back up the author's writing.
Because it's from New Harbinger Publications, I knew it would be more credible than something from Hay House.
For someone new to the concept of kindness or empathy, this could be an eye-opening book.
I like that each chapter has lightbulb moments, "put it into practice" lessons for the reader, and a reflective thought. I also liked that there's a lot of science to back up the author's writing.
July 15, 2021
A fantastic book with great tips for mindfulness and bringing positivity to your life. Understanding the psychology of kindness and how the little things really do matter helped me develop my perspective towards human relationships. This book includes tips, true stories, and explanations that really prove and emphasize the importance of kindness. I highly recommend this to anyone looking for self-help or perspective-changing books.
January 17, 2023
I find the practice almost like meditation, and it's not the kind that you would do on the spot. Rather than that, the book is mostly about fragmented stories that are so cliched and well, have who-cares vibes. Also, the first few chapters are all about how her daughter is such a god of kindness and it kind of annoys me. I would rather a book that is either psychologically-based or just stories-driven stuff that casually teaches people about kindness. Still, good message - just not for me.
November 20, 2017
“Kindness is love in action.” I absolutely loved this book. I felt like I was already a kind person, but reading this and learning more, taught me that there is so much more I can do, especially being kind to myself. I highly recommend this gem of a book.
*I received an ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest opinion.”
*I received an ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest opinion.”
August 25, 2019
This is a really good introduction to the current research about kindness. Before reading this I didn’t have the vocabulary to talk about the things inhibit kindness, like empathic distress and compassion fatigue. Now I feel like I have the words and resources to move forward in my journey to becoming a kinder person.
May 7, 2018
Dr. Cousineau shares how to bring more kindness into your life in ways that are both touching and immediately relevant. And her expertise in scientific research comes through in a way that will be relatable to any reader.
June 4, 2018
Great positive motivation and tons of thoughtful concepts on dealing with negativity, stress and situations that can make us mean. Each chapter has some activities to try and really encourages us all to be more kind. It is a healthier lifestyle for sure. Anita's pick! xo
June 28, 2018
Excellent suggestions. I picked this book hoping for an antidote to being overwhelmed by the negativity in the world today and the dark place I'd fallen into. While it didn't fix what was bugging me, it lifted my spirits. I highly recommend it.
January 14, 2020
this book has been sitting on my shelf for more than a year, and although it was tough to get into at first, I read through most of the book within the last month or so. Learned a lot & took away some beneficial lessons 🌷✨
October 4, 2022
I will repeat the sentiment of another reviewer. I was in between a 3 and a 4 - so 3.5. This book is a solid, general look at kindness and the benefits of incorporating it into daily life. I would probably ranked it higher if I had less knowledge about the subject.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews