I just can't get over the stupidity that kickstarts this book.
What kind of a loan shark demands a million dollars from someone he knows doesn't have money?!?! Look, I get him physically hurting the dad for not paying him back. That's between them. Although, really, if a loan shark wants his money back, beating someone to an inch of death pretty much guarantees that person is not going to be able to earn anything - and thus pay off the debt - anytime soon. But to then threaten to kill the dad's children if they don't give him a million dollars - when he's dated the daughter and knows she's broke?! How the #$(& is that any kind of sustainable business strategy, even for a loan shark?
And why the #^$(& didn't the title character, like, GO TO THE POLICE when her father is beaten and her life is threatened?!?! Especially when she knows who is behind it?! I know she's presented as having barely gone to community college, but anyone who has ever watched more than, say, four hours of television (because it's guaranteed at least two of those hours will be Law and Order re-runs) knows that extortion and putting someone in the hospital and murder are all kinds of felonies.
Is this supposed to make us like the heroine: "Oh, look, she's still a nice girl. She doesn't REALLY want to be an escort, she's coerced into it." But she doesn't really seem to struggle with her new career, morally or otherwise (which is fine. Hey, if I could earn a million dollars in a year by being an escort, SIGN ME UP. Really, what is so "edgy" about being an escort - especially if sex is only on your terms? I mean, being a contestant on The Bachelor feels far more skeevy to me - and there's no million dollars waiting at the end).
So there's no real conflict, the external goal - get the million dollars to pay off the moron loan shark - is ri-donk-ulous, and I've read this set up what feels like a gazillion times before. I'm so tired of badly written novels that all sound alike featuring the same cookie cutter "Oh, I'm so spunky and sassy but down on my luck yet so absolutely gorgeous that men see my picture and PAY to have little ol' me decorate their arm" heroine. Didn't I read this in Break, and The Arrangement? Or is my superpower the ability to pick up books with this trope - and can I exchange that superpower for one less stinky and more useful, like maybe the ability to instantly clean the cat's litter box?
Speaking of The Arrangement, the author seems to have gone to the H.M. Ward School of How Not To Write Speech Tags. There's an editor credited at the back of the novella. I'd want my money back.
And then there's the hero. Who can't seem to stop covering his mouth with his hand when he's trying not to laugh, like a tittering school girl. Sorry, not sexy. Oh, and his MOTHER picks out his escort for him. See, Wes is a screenwriter, which in this fantasy version of Hollywood makes him uber-powerful (oh, that's just so sweet. But so not real life). And Wes, for some inexplicable reason, needs his MOM to hire him an escort so he can avoid all those nasty golddigger whores that infect Los Angeles. And his MOM brags about hiring Mia! Really, really not sexy.
Serious sidenote: can we talk about the inherent misogyny in this novella? Nearly every female in this book not related to Wes or Mia - aside from the housekeeper, who Mia calls "Mary Poppins" but is described to look like Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast - is a shallow, catty, plastic bitch with no other purpose in life but to snare some clueless rich sugar daddy. And while I'm sure there are evil shallow catty plastic bitches out there who have no other purpose in life but to snare clueless rich sugar daddies, they do not exist to the extent they do in this book. Not even in L.A. Honest. (And can we lay off this sexist stereotype of Los Angeles?! It's a metropolis of over 18 million people, one of the most ethnically and culturally diverse cities in the world. It has two world class research universities that rank in the top 25 of US schools, is home to thriving tech, finance and hospitality industries, is the largest manufacturing center in the US and has one of the country's busiest ports. Do some research and stop being so insultingly LAZY, authors).
Wes takes Mia to an important Hollywood networking party where she is surrounded by these women. Mia proudly announces she stopped twenty-four gold diggers from hitting on her employer, because those are the only other females at the party. The author doesn't ONCE stop to consider that perhaps women might also work in Hollywood. That women might go to parties to network. That women might be screenwriters and producers and directors looking to make connections, and not just between their legs. The misogyny in this book REEKS, and that's without Mia and her best friend calling each other "skank" and "ho." Like, maybe it's fashionable to call your best friend by gendered insults, but if you are trying to set up your heroine as ballsy and independent and strong, maybe lay off the sexism?
Maybe it's a silly thing to complain about, but these books are supposedly flying into readers' hands right now and I'm just...sad...that young women might read these and buy into how women are portrayed as real life. Sad and disheartened.
The book is laughable in its details. Things Google could have easily told the author are wrong. Wes supposedly writes blockbuster franchise films, so the director is going to let him direct the love scenes. Yeah, not if the Directors Guild of America has anything to say about it (and why the $%^# would anyone want a brand new director to direct love scenes, which require careful work with the actors?! If I were the studio financing the film, I'd pull the plug upon hearing these plans).
Wes's deal is to be paid a percentage of the budget: Yeah, but NO. Wes's salary IS part of the budget. Now, he may receive a percentage of the back end to sweeten his deal, but that's a percentage of the REVENUE, not budget.
Mia is excited because she might earn an extra hundred thousand dollars to pay her sister's college tuition for the year. Her sister goes to school in Las Vegas. Which pretty much means she's at UNLV, which costs around $7000 a year for in-state residents (and since they grew up in Las Vegas, no prob). Meanwhile, not even Harvard costs $100K a year.
OK, OK, these are really stupid nitpicks (and compared to the really egregious French in the second book, which I put down, not nearly as horrible. Here's a hint: Google Translate is NOT your friend if you want your character to speak authentic French. Something tells me an actual Frenchman would know the difference between tu and vous, and ma and mon). I know what you want to know: is the book SCORCHING HAWT?!
Well... *hold out hand, waggles it from side to side* Mia has a very annoying tendency to refer to her "O-trigger," even though at other times she seems conversant with the actual names for parts of her anatomy. There's the requisite insta-lust, of course, and Wes makes promises about what he's going to do to her from practically the first minute they meet, which for an escort who isn't required to have sex is rather...skeevy, depending on your tolerance for these things. Mia holds off until she starts to compare herself to golddiggers and feels rather sad and gross about using her looks for money - so of course she alleviates her bad feelings by hopping into bed with the guy paying her.
But, y'know, if you're just skimming for sexytimes, I've read worse. *shrug*
NFM (not for me). And not for anyone who has a healthy respect for literacy. And especially not for self-respecting women.