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Scorn: The Wickedest Insults in Human History
'He's 100% political herpes. Back in six months whatever you do. Or three days, like last time.' Camilla Long on Nigel Farage'You're as ugly as a salad.' Bulgarian insult'I'm going to beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on.' Muhammed AliThere's no pleasure like a perfectly turned put-down (when it's directed at somebody else, of course) but Matthew Parris's Scorn is sharply different from the standard collections. Here are the funniest, sharpest, rudest and most devastating insults in history, from ancient Roman graffiti to the battlefields of Twitter. Drawing on bile from such masters as Dorothy Parker, Elizabeth I, Donald Trump, Groucho Marx, Princess Anne, Winston Churchill, Nigel Farage, Mae West and Alastair Campbell - which form an exchange between voices down the ages - Scorn shows that abuse can be an art form. This collection includes extended literary invective as well as short verbal shin-kicks. Encompassing literature, art, politics, showbiz, marriage, gender, nationality and religion, Matthew Parris's sublime collection is the perfect companion for the festive season, whether you're searching for the perfect elegant riposte, the rudest polite letter ever written, or a brutal verbal sledgehammer.
424 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 10, 2016
35 people are currently reading
257 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
February 1, 2020
2.5 stars. There were some delightfully composed sentences and wicked verbal spars which made me laugh, but some of the insults were just tedious or just lacked.
February 24, 2019
Huge fun, and makes the excellent choice of focusing on English wit, which is the world's finest.
March 3, 2017
I don't recall using a highlighter to mark passages in a book since I was at University, but Scorn - The Wittiest and Wickedest Insults in Human History by Matthew Parris is that kind of book.
Here are some of my favourite quotes included in the collection (read my review for the complete listing http://www.carpelibrum.net/2017/03/sc...
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowldege of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology. Terry Eagleton, Page 27
His argument is as thin as the homeopathic soup that was made by boiling the shadow of a pigeon that had been starved to death. Abraham Lincoln on Stephen A. Douglas, Page 189
Thank you for the manuscript; I shall lose no time in reading it. Benjamin Disraeli's standard reply to authors who sent him unsolicited copies of their books, Page 227
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. Groucho Marx, Page 259
I loved these quotes, and there are plenty more in the book I couldn't include for obvious reasons, however I took issue with the author's admission that others did the heavy lifting for him. By his own admission, two helpers gathered a 'mountain from which I have assembled this personal molehill of an anthology'. I don't know about you, by why aren't their names on the cover?
He also contrived quotes involving himself; a self indulgence that should have been squashed somewhere along the route to being published.
Consequently, the author's readiness to let others do the majority of the work for him reduced my enjoyment of this collection. In addition to that, his arrogance to include several quotes about himself further diminished my enjoyment. If you can overlook both of these flaws, Scorn by Matthew Parris is an enjoyable read and a book you'll want to share with others.
* Copy courtesy of Allen & Unwin *
Here are some of my favourite quotes included in the collection (read my review for the complete listing http://www.carpelibrum.net/2017/03/sc...
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowldege of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology. Terry Eagleton, Page 27
His argument is as thin as the homeopathic soup that was made by boiling the shadow of a pigeon that had been starved to death. Abraham Lincoln on Stephen A. Douglas, Page 189
Thank you for the manuscript; I shall lose no time in reading it. Benjamin Disraeli's standard reply to authors who sent him unsolicited copies of their books, Page 227
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. Groucho Marx, Page 259
I loved these quotes, and there are plenty more in the book I couldn't include for obvious reasons, however I took issue with the author's admission that others did the heavy lifting for him. By his own admission, two helpers gathered a 'mountain from which I have assembled this personal molehill of an anthology'. I don't know about you, by why aren't their names on the cover?
He also contrived quotes involving himself; a self indulgence that should have been squashed somewhere along the route to being published.
Consequently, the author's readiness to let others do the majority of the work for him reduced my enjoyment of this collection. In addition to that, his arrogance to include several quotes about himself further diminished my enjoyment. If you can overlook both of these flaws, Scorn by Matthew Parris is an enjoyable read and a book you'll want to share with others.
* Copy courtesy of Allen & Unwin *
February 10, 2018
A collection of insults and curses from across the ages and the world.
There are some genuinely laugh out loud entries in here (especially the post-EU referendum online insults directed at Gove), it's worth reading for the comedic value alone. But containing insults from history too makes this a surprisingly interesting read. Finding out about one historical figure's opinion of another, or of old feuds, adds colour and dimension to the past.
There are some genuinely laugh out loud entries in here (especially the post-EU referendum online insults directed at Gove), it's worth reading for the comedic value alone. But containing insults from history too makes this a surprisingly interesting read. Finding out about one historical figure's opinion of another, or of old feuds, adds colour and dimension to the past.
June 9, 2020
The tagline for this book really caught my attention when I saw it on the shelf in the bookshop; I love a good play on words so the idea of reading the funniest, wittiest putdowns in history felt like a good use of my reading time.
Sadly, I didn’t get as much enjoyment from the book as I thought I would. Some of the one-liners did have me laughing out loud, but there were more that I read with a mental attitude of “meh, why is that funny?”. Some of what was included felt too long, some points felt overemphasised with too many quotes and others just fell flat of humorous.
It was an interesting enough read as a pick-up-put-down book but it’s not one I’ll be revisiting.
Sadly, I didn’t get as much enjoyment from the book as I thought I would. Some of the one-liners did have me laughing out loud, but there were more that I read with a mental attitude of “meh, why is that funny?”. Some of what was included felt too long, some points felt overemphasised with too many quotes and others just fell flat of humorous.
It was an interesting enough read as a pick-up-put-down book but it’s not one I’ll be revisiting.
August 3, 2017
I am a sucker for these kind of books - collections of pithy/acerbic comments that raise a smile in salute to wit.
As I write this I am mindful of the quote of Mark Haddon's
"Good reviews make your heart swell. Bad reviews are like seeing your daughter heckled during the Nativity play" and having experienced good and bad reviews myself, I hasten to add this is a good review.
There are many quotes that made me smile or even laugh out loud though one that struck me as of particular if ironic pertinence was
"Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book." Marcus Tullius Cicero
If I had a gripe it would be that Parris is prone to including lengthy quotes, half a page or more of some worthy's erudition. For work such as this I have the attention span of a gnat - I need my fixes in byte sized (or maybe tweet sized) pieces and I have not the patience to unpick some shaggy dog story of a quote.
For a time being that frustration veered me towards three stars, despite the worthy volume of the book.
However, Parris recovered it brilliantly in the last few pages with his quotes on the matter of the EU referndum - in particular the indignant tweets in response to asinine comments made by the politicians.
"We need to renegotiate a new relationship with the EU, based on free trade and friendly competition #Gove2016"
to which Parris generously lists a number of responses - including
"That's what we HAD, you reprehensible spam faced tool bag @XanderXan.
As I write this I am mindful of the quote of Mark Haddon's
"Good reviews make your heart swell. Bad reviews are like seeing your daughter heckled during the Nativity play" and having experienced good and bad reviews myself, I hasten to add this is a good review.
There are many quotes that made me smile or even laugh out loud though one that struck me as of particular if ironic pertinence was
"Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book." Marcus Tullius Cicero
If I had a gripe it would be that Parris is prone to including lengthy quotes, half a page or more of some worthy's erudition. For work such as this I have the attention span of a gnat - I need my fixes in byte sized (or maybe tweet sized) pieces and I have not the patience to unpick some shaggy dog story of a quote.
For a time being that frustration veered me towards three stars, despite the worthy volume of the book.
However, Parris recovered it brilliantly in the last few pages with his quotes on the matter of the EU referndum - in particular the indignant tweets in response to asinine comments made by the politicians.
"We need to renegotiate a new relationship with the EU, based on free trade and friendly competition #Gove2016"
to which Parris generously lists a number of responses - including
"That's what we HAD, you reprehensible spam faced tool bag @XanderXan.
March 20, 2021
I couldn't find a particularly good way of consuming this book, which in the end made me wonder if I was judging it a little harshly - or whether criticism of a book that didn't prove itself particularly 'readable' is in fact justified.
Parts of this were a bit witty, aspects were interesting and insightful - some of the discussions and examples of what is and is not permitted in parliamentary language were intriguing - but there seemed to be a lot of this which was either filler (not particularly impactful) or flawed (often I didn't find the insults funny or clever). I'm not averse to cruel or dark humour as dialogue in a novel, but presented here as a list of bon mots many fell flat and just felt mean or lacked any impact when quoted out of context. I will dip back in, but it was a bit of a mixed bag - maybe it would've made a better book of half the length.
Parts of this were a bit witty, aspects were interesting and insightful - some of the discussions and examples of what is and is not permitted in parliamentary language were intriguing - but there seemed to be a lot of this which was either filler (not particularly impactful) or flawed (often I didn't find the insults funny or clever). I'm not averse to cruel or dark humour as dialogue in a novel, but presented here as a list of bon mots many fell flat and just felt mean or lacked any impact when quoted out of context. I will dip back in, but it was a bit of a mixed bag - maybe it would've made a better book of half the length.
December 13, 2017
Take the intro seriously when it tells you it doesn't discriminate with it's selection. There's a little bit of everything in here, racism, homophobia, sexism, entirely too many quotes from the shit stain known as Woody Allen. (Seriously... I about rolled my eyes every time something he said came up. He's not as funny as you think he is.) But if you can get past that.
But there are some stingers in here, and that's what we came for really. I just about cried with joy at someone calling Margaret Thatcher "Attila the Hen". In fact most of these raging one liners are from political inclined people. I guess it's the only industry where you really get paid to be an arsehole to the opposing side. Or apparently your own side according to this collection.
It was fun.
But there are some stingers in here, and that's what we came for really. I just about cried with joy at someone calling Margaret Thatcher "Attila the Hen". In fact most of these raging one liners are from political inclined people. I guess it's the only industry where you really get paid to be an arsehole to the opposing side. Or apparently your own side according to this collection.
It was fun.
February 15, 2020
Scorn gave me a great evening of reading, as well as lots of insults to harass my family with. It describes itself as the ‘wittiest and wickedest insults in human history’, and it certainly includes some brilliant insults. They are arranged in several sections, including religion, class, places, morality, politics and ancient curses. Some of the insults were funnier than others, and it’s definitely important to read this book lightly and not take any of it too seriously. I didn’t find the political ones as funny as the others, but that is just personal preference- there really is something for everyone except younger readers who should under no circumstances read this.
February 20, 2021
I actually didn‘t quite finish this book since it took me foreverrrr to get through and I ended up skipping through and reading like one quote a page.
It‘s not that the book is inherently bad, just very...dense. These quotes and aphorisms demand some thinking about, you know? So it‘s hard to read more than a couple at a time.
I reckon this would make a good bathroom book. I don’t mean that as an insult, it’s just the perfect opportunity to read a page, then leave and think about it.
I also thought this was gonna be more insulty. It’s actually way tamer than the title suggests.
It‘s not that the book is inherently bad, just very...dense. These quotes and aphorisms demand some thinking about, you know? So it‘s hard to read more than a couple at a time.
I reckon this would make a good bathroom book. I don’t mean that as an insult, it’s just the perfect opportunity to read a page, then leave and think about it.
I also thought this was gonna be more insulty. It’s actually way tamer than the title suggests.
December 20, 2020
Pretty funny. The editors/collectors have ordered the quotes well. Occasionally there will be some back-and-forths between commentators, or witty contradiction (Hell is other people/Hull is other people). Thanks to that there is some additional humour to be found in reading the entries one after another rather than picking them at random. Some quotes can be quite obscure, both in attributee and target, but that's a pro and a con at once.
March 20, 2022
This is not a book, really, it is a collection of quotes. It is a good collection of quotes to be sure, but, as it is with quotes of all sorts and stripes, people tend to have very different tastes. I've highlighted nearly 200 quotes in this book. But many fell flat, felt boorish, or lacked that spark which I really wished to see.
In fact, ideally, the first half of this book should be sectioned "Wit," and the second half "Bores."
It's a 3.5 rounded down to 3 for the purposes of the site.
In fact, ideally, the first half of this book should be sectioned "Wit," and the second half "Bores."
It's a 3.5 rounded down to 3 for the purposes of the site.
February 1, 2020
A recently updated collection of discourteous colloquialisms, containing remarkably fresh insults (of the Brexit era) as well as reassuringly classic castigations. Its only, but considerable drawback is that it doesn’t contain more - and indeed, that many seem to have disappeared, compared to the older version.
August 18, 2018
My grandad knows me too well. In his own (paraphrased) words:
"It's a collection of witty rude things written by a guy who used to work for the Foreign Office and clearly hated everyone he ever met there."
"It's a collection of witty rude things written by a guy who used to work for the Foreign Office and clearly hated everyone he ever met there."
February 13, 2023
"She looked like she'd been poured into her clothes, but forgotten to say when".
Insults from modern day, ancient history and everything in between. Some hilarious, some raise a smile at their cleverness.
Insults from modern day, ancient history and everything in between. Some hilarious, some raise a smile at their cleverness.
November 18, 2018
3.5*
How Sarkozy’s « casse-toi » (fuck off) was translated to « drop dead », I’d like to know.
How Sarkozy’s « casse-toi » (fuck off) was translated to « drop dead », I’d like to know.
July 8, 2019
Learnt so many new ways to insult people without them knowing
September 7, 2019
Huge fun to read this book
November 14, 2019
good light read while I took a break from the Akarnae series
January 24, 2020
Well-researched, well-structured, and as enjoyable and immersive as an anthology of insults can be.
June 24, 2021
"My apartment is too nice to listen to rap in" - Kanye West
December 20, 2021
Predominantly boring.
October 1, 2022
5 / 10 ⭐️
February 1, 2018
" One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don't go into government." Donald Trump
This book contains some real gems!
This book contains some real gems!
August 1, 2020
Meh.
Reading a book full of insults from & to people in history was not as fun as I’d thought it’d be.
Maybe I’ve just seen enough of that in the real world and social media?
Reading a book full of insults from & to people in history was not as fun as I’d thought it’d be.
Maybe I’ve just seen enough of that in the real world and social media?
April 22, 2017
I thought this review would be a list of zingers when I bought the book, but. . . .
Well, I couldn't even find a good "signature" for my e-mail.
Though "a man wrapped up in himself makes a very small parcel" (John Ruskin).
Context for each of these 414 pages of putdowns would be helpful, but, then, this wouldn't be a nightstand volume.
Well, I couldn't even find a good "signature" for my e-mail.
Though "a man wrapped up in himself makes a very small parcel" (John Ruskin).
Context for each of these 414 pages of putdowns would be helpful, but, then, this wouldn't be a nightstand volume.
March 31, 2017
Lots of entertaining quotes collated by Matthew Parris. A good book to dip in and out of. Reading almost 2,000 year old graffiti from Pompeii was particularly amusing.
Read
February 15, 2018These "wittiest and wickedest insults" get pretty tired, pretty quickly. Sour grapes, meanness, nastiness, racism, sexism, etc. Revisiting the sins of the past isn't often a very good idea I'd say...
Hardly worth working through for the small handful of actual gems.
Hardly worth working through for the small handful of actual gems.
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews