I ended up with more comments/questions than with what I had with book 1. Even though this would usually signify a poorly written story, in my opinion, something about this story still called to me. I'm still not a big fan of Melena though. Overall, the idea behind this series is very interesting, I just believe it was poorly executed. In the end, I'm not going to read book 3 because I can only imagine all the issues I'll come across (there were a lot of question/comments that I had to delete just to post this review).
Comments:
I noticed several grammatical/punctuation/organization errors throughout this story, unlike with book 1. For example, Lucas and Melena are climbing into his car. "I settled into the leather passenger seat." Where does Lucas sit? "Lucas climbed into the passenger seat," as well! Even though when they were fighting he was the one to grip the steering wheel " a little tighter than before."
Melena was not smart. Why did the author make her so clueless about...everything? The way Lucas felt about her? Automatically assuming that her birth control was risk-free when it came to having sex with Lucas/Nephilim/part angel. Or when Emily throws fairie dust at the were-boy, and her thinking those watching would assume it was dust. Yes, because people usually go around throwing "dust". Or when she asked why Othello had more security at his club, when she was the one to state multiple times the demon issue was worse. Or when Melena is with the Sensor group. She goes to lift her broken wrist and surprise! "Even moving it hurt." Or, (lastly) when the archangel comes for Lucas and he stated that he failed to protect Melena. Yet, she was somehow still clueless as to why the archangel was going to take Lucas. It's funny because she was constantly referencing her time in the Army as an interrogator. Yet, she can't read between the lines at all.
I was annoyed with her constantly picking fights with Lucas, for example, when he came back to the cabin in a bad mood and wanted to sit in his chair. Melena's response? To fight with him, but she made it seem like he was looking to fight with her. And she wonders why he considers her a thing to protect, yes, because, without his help (multiple times), she would have died long ago. I just didn't understand why she seemed to be so negative towards Lucas after all he'd done up until that point. "That man didn't have a sympathetic bone in his body." Since when? He'd saved her, saved her friends; what more could he do to get on her good side? Or "Micah had to be delusional to think his brother gave a crap about me." I felt like the author/Melena was talking about a different person.
The fighting scene between Melena and Micah was confusing. At one point, "...one of my legs [was] locked over his neck and the other over the top of his shoulders." Now for her to be in that position, she'd basically be sideways on his chest area. Yet, somehow her crotch is right in his face. Another scene was when Lucas was standing in front of Melena, while she was leaning against his car. One of his hands was downstairs playing with her, but then on the next page: "He leaned me back against the car and switched one of his hands to the front."
Not sure why the author introduced Fallon and Sayer the way she did. She mentioned their names but didn't say what they were or anything. As for Yarrow, there was no introduction between him and Melena when she first got to Felisha's house which seemed strange.
When they're fighting the Prince demon, somehow Melena didn't realize Ian was running towards the demon. He ends up bleeding within the circle. The demon also ends up somehow fighting Aeson even though he's supposedly trapped in said circle, but it's not until Melena shoots at the demon that the circle was broken.
Questions:
Why was Melena surprised by Lucas' reaction when he found out a vampire had attacked her at Nik's? Didn't Nik at the same way? Didn't Derrek act the same way? There was a similar situation in book 1 where she was surprised by one character's reaction even though other characters had reacted the same way.
Melena is reading through the book Nik let her borrow. "It went on to say how to properly kill a host if the demon had fully taken over- by beheading." If that was the case, the host would be dead and the demon would be sent back to Hell. But not necessarily: "If the soul still fought, then feeding the human sensor blood would end the possession." So basically a headless person/demon could still cause problems?
Considering it seemed easy for the demons to kill the sups, Melena's comment to Othello was for him to keep the strongest guys by the door. "If an unescorted human comes close, let them test the person out and see if they are something more." How would they do that though? What would they do exactly?
When Melena was in the mall with the demon who was lighting candles, why didn't she call Lucas then? Instead, she waited, and the sprinklers came on and ruined her phone.
Was Melena just messing with everyone when she stated she didn't think the Sensor group was all that bad? Because I don't know how she could have said that given the little bit of info they provided to her with.
Why was Melena against wearing anything Lucas picked out for her? It's funny since she was the one to pick out the slutty-stops at the butt-with slits up the sides to show her goodies-dress.
Why did Lucas think Melena would be upset about who Micah chose for his date? Hence, he ended up bringing Aniya.
Melena and Lisette have been friends for ten years. So why was Lisette so upset that Melena forced her to go back to CA? You'd think she would have been more understanding.
Whatever happened to the demon from the mall? And when did Melena's legs heal?
Lots of sups are getting killed at the club by the demons. Melena decides to make a large blood circle for her guys to stand in. But before she actually slit her wrist to make the circle, she states that "...if someone didn't heal me soon, I'd die." From what? She hadn't been injured, much less severely, yet.
The bad Sensor guy is helping Melena to remove her dress. "I was wearing a dress with no underwear on so at least he wouldn't see much." Huh? Didn't this dress only go to the tops of her thighs?
When she found out that Sensors could get pregnant by Nephilim, why was she upset with Lucas? They'd only had sex once and it wasn't like it had been planned. "Lucas deserved a chance to at least defend himself before I condemned him." Why? Again, here's a perfect example of Melena picking fights and thinking only negative thoughts about Lucas. Or what about when she had sex with Lucas when he was having the nightmare. She never thought to look for a condom or anything then. Afterward, she didn't even seem to fear she could have gotten pregnant.
Jermone tells Melena that her mother had provided him with two sons before she'd been born. Why didn't Melena ask about them? Why did she seem not concerned with rescuing the other female sensors?
Lucas wants to send Melena back to Fairbanks. She doesn't want to go, of course, and states that she can't because the demon problem was "only getting worse." How did she know that?
How old is Aniya's mother? The book made her sound like she was senile or something. Supposedly Aniya didn't want to compel her mother because "she'd be no better than the vampires who did it to her when she was human," yet her compulsion magic wasn't working anymore on her mother. Why? Additionally, when had she come into contact with vampires while a human?
When Melena finds out that Othello is dead, the book states "He had witches put the spell up right after we found out." Found out what? By the way it's written, it made it sound like he had the spells put up after the attack, yet he couldn't have because he was dead.
"The only way you're making me go is against my will." Lucas can't force her to do to anything. Yet...that's all he ever does. So that made no sense. How did he get her to leave and go back to Fairbanks the first time?
When Lucas and Micah bring Melena back to life: "I wanted to test out the richness of it [blood]..." Huh?